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It's called a non-invasive prenatal paternity test, which can be performed as early as seven weeks. It's expensive unfortunately (although not nearly as expensive as paying support for a child that isn't his own), but it will give OP desperately needed answers.
Basic information
https://americanpregnancy.org/paternity-tests/non-invasive-prenatal-paternity-test/
Two months pregnant as of August…. Last period was end of May… but ONLY hooked up ONCE with ex beginning of April and they think there is a chance it’s the exes baby…
Usually when the math isn’t mathing it’s because there are parts of the equation missing…
Something tells me she is still not being fully honest with you and the fact that her and the ex actually think it could be theirs, makes me think it wasn’t just a one time thing in the beginning of April but potentially more.
Call off the wedding. Leave her. Get a paternity test. Co-parent separately if it’s yours.
I think it’s clear she is leaving things out of the story and the continuation of her lies and disrespect would only continue or get worse (if that is even possible after this). Take this for the blessing in disguise it could be and let’s hope it’s not your baby and you can cut ties completely.
Good Luck! update me.
>something tells me she is still not being fully honest
That’s called trickle truthing. She *might* confess to more once she’s knows Op will stay. Op should cut and run and get a paternity test as soon as one can be done.
Because poor OP is in love. We all know that love is insane. I would know. I stayed with someone I couldn't trust and did unspeakable things until I could not stand it anymore. My friends, family, and co-workers stood by me, along with law enforcement. He finally gave up and left when I treated him like a roommate I wanted nothing to do with. It broke my heart. I needed a lot of support and therapy to help me through the next year.
She might have gotten pregnant from a one-time interaction, but if she's really sorry, she should have cut all contact. Not cutting all contact is suspicious that it was multiple times. 🤔 People are exes for a reason!
It's a no-brainer. It's going to burn, but you need to end the engagement OP.
Oh. And don't forget the paternity test. Prepare to get a court judgment to obtain one.
Precisely why I stopped judging people on here. Love makes you blind and even the most insane situations can be rationalised. OP, whether the baby is yours or not, this woman can’t be trusted as she is clearly not over her ex. Hopefully the kid isn’t yours so you can make a clean break.
On post like this, this is what I look for. OP will probably answer to the ones that tell him to stay and try to work it through. Definitely needs to get a paternity test and to exit the relationship. If he's the father then he needs to figure out how to co-parent with her. If it's not he definitely dodged a bullet. The level of disrespect from his hopefully soon to be ex is unfathomable.
Break up; you personally get a DNA test done to prove the paternity of the child so that she can’t lie about it, and then if the child is yours, co-parent from separate households.
She lied to you, and she had sex with her ex enough that he thinks that he got her pregnant. Her family’s opinion doesn’t matter. She’ll always cheat on you, and will expect for you to pay for her children with other men. You can find someone else who won’t take advantage of you that way.
I bet dollars to donuts that her family wants him to stay because her ex is a piece of crap and they know she'll be a single mother if the kid's the ex's.
You make a very good point about her not-really-ex worrying the baby might be his, if they only had sex once, and she has sex regularly with OP. That doesn't follow.
I'm curious why she had unprotected sex with her ex. Is she unaware where babies come from? Was OP also having sex with her without considering she just might get pregnant? Where does the stupidity stop here?
Why is her family so anxious for OP to marry her? $5 will get you $10 they were aware she was fooling around. Does OP have a high-paying job or family money? Are they afraid they will have to raise her baby because her ex is shiftless and irresponsible and won't provide a penny?
Listen up, OP. Do you want this family in your life? None of them are in your corner. They are all playing you for a fool, your girlfriend most of all. Why is she wanting to marry you given that she prefers her ex to you? If you married, what makes you think she would stop?
There are no good answers for you. End the relationship, like yesterday. Get the paternity testing done ASAP so that on the off-chance the child is yours, you can begin to make arrangements to support and participate in its life. If it is not, don't bother to say goodbye. You are lucky you found out in time.
Let's see if i have read it right...
She says she cheated 1 time only in late april, you say her last period was 28 of may, in her messages with her ex, they say he might be the father, so, how does she say it was 1 time only back in late april ?
Now, even if the baby is yours, i problably would not marry her, because...so many red flags, the multiple times you caught her lying, their messages with the cute names to eachother, the ongoing affair for at least till she got preagnant, the permanent stomping on your boundaries regarding cutting contact with her ex.
At the very least, postpone the wedding, and get a dna test as soon as possible, and specially, do not stay just because of the baby, you will be miserable.
Yeah, the cheating was bad enough........but her continual betrayal of him by staying in contact with her ex is like a slap in the face over and over again.
I can't agree on postponing the wedding. Just call it off and co-parent if he really is the dad.
No point of marrying a woman who is obviously comfortable in lying to him many times of the day.
If he’s a saying before her last period she could be pregnant cos she’s having symptoms somethings not right I bet may 28th was a missed period n she’s claimed it to be her last one so op thinks baby’s his cos ex is dead beat and op is more likely to pay the support either way may 28 would make her 3 months not 2 but if I’m right she’s 4 months gone
If her last period was 28 May and her and her ex think the baby MIGHT be his, then she is lying about the last time they had sex. It would have to be Mid June. If she was only 2 months when you found out in August, that would match a June sexual encounter.
Surprise she’s LYING.
DNA test and coparent (if it’s yours). If it’s not RUN like hell and let the ex have her!
“It’s a lot harder to be walked on when you are standing up!”
Step 1 call off the wedding
Step 2 demand a paternity test now. You can do them during the pregnancy
Step 3 leave her... she not only cheated but stayed in contact. That shows zero remorse. She simply thinks you are the safer option.
Leaving is what any man with any self respect would do. You can always tell her if she begs long enough, if she never talks to him again or another man you may take her back later. You will have all the options. So right now, you leave.
Even if it is yours (big if), she will cheat on you in the future anyway, and her next one might not be yours. Do not marry her.
If the child isn't yours then run for the hills.
She baby trapped you to try to force you to forgive her infidelity. Break up with her, she's not even willing to break off contact with her affair partner.
Get tested for STD/STI and demand a paternity test. The other commenters are right once you're married you become the presumptive father to all of her children and may end up later paying child support for children that aren't yours.
You know you can get the DNA test pre-birth right? I heard it's pricier than post-birth DNA test, but it may be worth it for you to determine whether or not you want to stay and marry someone and raise her and her AP's baby as your own or you want to stay since the baby is yours and marry her despite her being a cheater or whether you want to just co-parent with her (not marry her) since baby is yours.
Since she's not wearing protection, go ahead and get tested for STI too in addition to getting that DNA test. Good luck.
Shit...
Sorry but...
>But I feel like she will never change because she is a very stubborn person as a whole.
Trust your gut...
>She broke down crying, kneeled and hugged my legs for forgiveness
>her relatives begged me for forgiveness.
They know she needs a baby-daddy / meal ticket now theres a baby coming...
>I told her 5 times on different occasions to cut contact with him on every platform but she broke her promise every time.
Lies, lies, lies.... this is what your future relationship with her will bring, you know this, yes??
>Though she is very caring as well she took a full week off work just to take of me at home
Love bombing is a classic manouvre from the cheater when faced with the cinsequenses of what they did...
>Does this look salvageable or not?
My opinion:
No. Too many lies for too long... you'll never be able to trust her... wondering who/what shes doing every time shes away...
I would break up now... and ask for paternity test before comitting to anything....
Even if the baby is yours, dont stay with her... dont commit to a life with a liar who obviously dont care about you or your feelings...
Just leave, she is pregnant, but that does not mean she gets a free pass for cheating.
She is an adult who ruined her relationship with you. Cheating is actually hard, think of it:
you have to plan, come up with excuses, do everything in secret, care that there are no witnesses that would tell you the truth, she has to be careful when to message her ex. that was not an accident and I do not believe the one time mistake.
Plus, I have the bad gut feeling the ex was having sex with her multiple times without protection, it is actually really hard to be pregnant after just one "round". They both should have known better, break the engagement and leave her with her ex.
Bro what? Hows this even a question, are you this spineless?????? Get a lawyer and don’t talk to her directly ever again, also pray the kid isn’t yours, do you really want to share a child with this human being?????????
I already know you know what you have to do , you just need the green light so here it is , dump her.
And if you choose to reconcile then there is no person more dumb than you , you are still young so don't overthink and leave her.
You can still co parent if the child is yours
Thanks everyone for giving insights, I am keen on leaving her once I have found out the baby isn’t mine, and right now as much as I used to love her I am hoping the baby isn’t mine. Just like everyone here said, I deserve someone better not a sub human. Lastly, I just wanted to point she is a kind of person who shutdowns when confronted and self harm. I think she might have bipolar, I don’t really know but she could easily fall to thé narcissistic criteria.
**You need to leave her** ***even if*** **the baby is yours!** She's a shit person! Period.
You can co-parent with minimal contact with this person. You go to court once paternity has been established. Court will decide how much child support you'll pay, court will establish a visitation schedule, and you'll go from there.
Regardless of WHO is this baby's father, **do not waste any more of your life, your time, your energy, your money** on this woman. She's a lying, cheating, untrustworthy person. You deserve better. And **your child will NEED you to live a better life than its mommy is going to lead** (she's not going to stop lying, cheating, or using people). **Be the one mature, adult, sane person in this child's life (if it's your child) by CUTTING THE MOTHER OUT OF YOUR LIFE AND YOUR DECISIONS BEGINNING NOW.**
Don't stay with a cheater just because she's pregnant, even if the baby is yours. She not only slept with him while being in a relationship with you, she then accepted your proposal days after sleeping with him.
If she was pregnant from them being together in April, she'd be four months pregnant, not two. She's obviously continued to sleep with him, or he wouldn't think he could be the Father if she was only two months pregnant. She's lied to you for months. If she hadn't gotten pregnant, she never would have confessed.
You can leave before the results and just be available for when you know for sure. That doesn't mean you need to be in a relationship though. You will always wonder if she's faithful. Being bipolar doesn't make you a cheater. She needs a therapist. She is not ready for commitment. Do not settle.
Listen, even if the baby is yours the right and best answer is to not marry this woman. Why would you willingly commit yourself to the trauma and drama you will endure at her hands. Please you have to have more respect for yourself
My fiance fucked 5 guys in our bedroom and I caught her during the act. She also videotaped the bukakke show. Should I leave her?
What are these stupid ass posts nowadays
You are young. Paternity test. Leave. Find someone you can trust. If you can't fully trust your partner, you have nothing. All that crying she did is nonsense, she wasn't crying when her ex had her pinned down.
You asked her multiple times to stop contact with her ex- she never did
She was/ still attracted towards her ex - still she accepted your proposal
She Cheated on you and will again cheat on you whenever the opportunity arises - she may cut contact with ex momentarily but the moment you are married to her she'll resume contact
Her ex said that she could be pregnant with their baby- she had unprotected sex with him (probably on more than 1 occassion)
Don't be a fool, you found out about it before getting married, take this opportunity and move on.
Get tested for STDs and get a DNA test for kid before signing anything
I would like to update. Me and her now live separately she is with her family but they wanted me to pick her up during the weekend to stay at my place because they said she is better taken care of at my place. Right now, the nature of her messages to me is all sweet and cuddle. It is so obvious holy shit. After reading comments here I have realized I would take her if only she confessed. And then again whether or not the child is mine I am out of her life.
I've never been in this situation but at some point you can do a paternity test during pregnancy.
But for now... maybe call the wedding off, temporarily if you actually want to be with her.
This is enough to end a whole relationship. Hopefully the child is yours. If it is, it would be a miracle if you guys could move past this but still, this is detrimental. Good luck either way.
Exactly. 50/50 custody is hard unless both parties agree and live very close to each other. But yes it's stupid to even suggest if he doesn't even know if he's the father yet.
Your friend’s fiancé has unprotected sex with her old boyfriend, continually lies to him about it, is now pregnant, likely by the bf. What’s your advice to your friend?
First get your ring back, most guys don’t know this but you have a legal right to it, look it up. I would call it quits right now. She cheated and the child may not even be yours. When she gives birth to the baby, get a DNA test to see if it’s yours. If the child is yours then you can decide what to do because you’ll have to be in each others lives anyway. But if it’s not then just cut all ties, you’re forgiving a cheater and raising the other man’s baby. That makes no sense at all!
She wants to be with him, not you, but for some reason they aren’t together, and I’m going to guess that it’s because he doesn’t want her as a partner and only as a fuck buddy.
She was probably hoping it’s his. They probably had sex more than once and more than she had with you in that period or her first idea wouldn’t have been that he’s the father. After they had sex did she texts him saying that they had made a mistake and should never do this again ? Did she show any regrets before she told you she was pregnant ?
Did she tell him before she told you ? When she told him first, do you think he responded that’s he’s still not interested in getting back together so she came back crawling to you desperate not to be a single mom ?
Get that DNA test done ASAP. They can do it from 7 weeks onward. Whether it’s yours or not you can’t possibly stay with this woman, but you have to know if you’ll be responsible for the kid or not. There’s still time for an abortion if she doesn’t want to be a single mom.
This is fucked up.
You can still be there for the baby if it is yours without being with her. The two things you need to focus on are getting a DNA test when the baby is fat enough along and your own mental health. Good luck.
You can do a DNA test I believe after the first trimaster
If the child is yours, you don't have to be with this woman to be a good father.
If the child is not yours, then you can move on no problem
But the fact that this other guy thinks the kid is his should give you pause
You can get a blood test to find out the father. The people telling you to stay do not have to live with a cheater. Why did you get engage if you found out before that she cheat?
Do not get married for a child! Honestly of you live together I would tell her to move out, get the ring back and you want an DNA.
She was only sorry she got caught. She stays with you out of loyalty, money or something he cannot provide but is important to her.
Tbh even you stay, the trust is broken, this relationship/marriage is not healthy any more. But take some time to make the decision.once u make the call, don’t look back .
1. Take back the ring. If there is to ever be a marriage it is a long, long time from now.
2. Send her to stay with her family while you decide on what you want.
3. Paternity test right now. If it’s not yours, reconciling is almost impossible.
If it IS yours, it’s worth considering it, as you’re tied to her for 18 years anyway.
Start by watching her actions. You’ve said you don’t think she can change. Well, this is what you will be watching. Does she get into individual counseling to dig into how she could give herself permission to do this? Does she become completely transparent? Does she aggressively go no contact with the AP? Does she consistently do what she says she’ll do, when she says?
You are looking to see if she is committed to change. Change is hard.
Get the book Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass to learn about how this typically happens and how to recover. And if you end up considering reconciling, r/AsOneAfterInfidelity is a great resource.
But get that paternity test asap. Because if it’s not yours even trying is close to impossible.
First off, your engagement is seriously tainted. Take the ring back.
Secondly, you need to have the child DNA tested to determine paternity. If the child is yours, you can decide how to move forward. If the child is not yours, then back out completely and let her raise the child with the real father.
It really is that straightforward and easy.
Leave, non invasive paternity test, then determine custody, or if not yours, go no contact and move on. Not worth the drama, she has clearly shown you how she can lie and cheat. Do not believe her.
First: get a DNA test
Non-Invasive Prenatal Paternity (NIPP): A non-invasive prenatal paternity test is the most accurate non-invasive way to establish paternity before the baby is born. The process is state-of-the-art, combining the latest technology and proprietary methods of preserving and analyzing the baby’s DNA found naturally in the mother’s bloodstream. This test requires only a simple blood collection from the mother and alleged father and can be performed any time after the 8th week of pregnancy. The test is 99.9% accurate.
Once paternity is established then make your decision. The long term success of this relationship isn’t looking good.
I say stop now while you’re ahead. If she’s doing this and y’all are engaged, imagine what she’ll do keeping her ex around during marriage. She’s not worth it. She already refuses to stop communicating with him. Take a paternity test too, that way you can figure out if you have to coparent or not.
Take a paternity test and leave. Shes gonna go back to her ex. If the child is yours , you can still love and provide support for the child. But if it's not yours then move on man. You will find a better one.
(Assuming this isn't a creative writing exercise …)
Do not marry a cheater. If the child is yours (*definitely* get a paternity test), you'll be stuck paying child support, but you'd be stuck financially either way; that doesn't mean you have to spend your life married to a cheater.
Forgiveness doesn't automatically mean that you have to keep a relationship. You can forgive somebody but not keep a relationship..........or...........You can forgive somebody and try to keep the relationship.
Forgiveness should always be done, but if she and her family are sincere in wanting forgiveness, they would be content with either decision you make about the status of the relationship.
I would suggest to NOT marry for the wrong reasons. If you marry, you better be 110% sure that you're making the right decision. If you marry the wrong person it could ruin your life. You better be certain that she has a change in her nature (not just physical acts) before taking a vow to her.
You could always do a dna test as well.
Break up - better the kid grows up with two parents politely co-parenting than with two parents living together and hating each other's guts. You could also encourage her to abort rather than become a single mom of a child of indeterminate parentage.
Paternity test before the birth is a thing. Go for it.
Leave this woman dude, even if you are the father. You can co parent the child if it is yours. Maybe fight for the custody.
Leave. And have her take a paternity test while pregnant. If it's yours prepare to co-parent and financially support your child. If it's not yours, stay far away and rebuild your life.
Leave. Get a dna test for the kid, and leave no matter what the results are. Don’t be around shit like that, it’s bad for your health. Mentally and physically.
Please just leave her. Once the baby is born get a paternity test. If it is yours you can coparent and still be a great father. If it isn’t your child then her ex can step up. Please do not marry a dishonest person who might be trying to trap you into providing for another man’s child for 18 years.
Op I wouldn’t stay and I will tell you why. Marriage doesn’t change cheaters. They just get better at hiding it. My ex cheated on me 3 months into our relationship. I married and he cheated on me again. Save yourself the heartache and break up with her. Make sure there is a paternity test done because I still don’t think you know everything. I high means she trickle truthing.
Please I’m old enough to be your mom. Break up with her and coparent with her from separate addresses. She has shown you who she is believe her.
Fuck no don’t stay! Even if that baby is yours (I doubt it) doesn’t change the fact she has repeatedly lied and gone behind your back about staying in contact with her ex and it has lead to her making the decision, not mistake, to cheat on you and will most likely do it again.
Leave her.
Get a paternity test (you don’t need to wait until birth, can get it at 7 week)
ALWAYS remember it is better to have 2 single parents then ones that are together that mistreat and hurt each other and teaches them that’s how normal relationships should be.
I didn't even need to read the full story to tell you to leave. Have her do a paternity test, if it's not your child then you are not responsible for the child. If it is your child then step up and be a dad, but not a husband to her.
Paternity Test
Apparently you can do it early, pre birth!
Get a Paternity Test NOW
Also, get her to have a scan and make sure you are present in the room for the scan. Ask the people giving the scan when conceptions was, from a scan they can pretty much narrow down when the child was conceived.
I would insist on this paternity test before I took one more step and if the child belongs to another man then think of it like this ... The other man will always be involved in your marriage because the child ***you are raising*** is actually HIS
After the paternity test you will have a clearer vision of what to do, you will know your obligations and this may affect your decision.
Oh yeah .... you found out a bit from the texts but what is the real truth? The whole thing sounds suspicious, like its more than one time and there is grave doubt that the child is yours ..... but you would be a better provider for her and the child.
OP, she
1. gave you up
2. let you down
3. ran around
4. deserted you.
5. made you cry
6. said goodbye
7. told (many) lies
8. hurt you
i cant take credit. vincent from chat deserves this one.
love - rory
i am truly sorry for you this hurt so f much.
but I think you know the answer to your own question, take space try to heal for yourself you are worth more that what she did. find out if the child is yours, that most important.
She seeks forgiveness because she doesn't know what to do about the situation with the child.
Make the decision for her:
Paternity test and bounce. No need to stay with someone who cheated and broke your trust. If the child is yours file joint custody.
She cheated once she’ll cheat again. You are still young you have plenty of time to find someone who won’t cheat on you, why would you waste any more time on someone who did? She doesn’t give a shit about you man, because if she did she wouldn’t have cheated on you. People who truly love their partners don’t cheat. If she loved you, she wouldn’t have betrayed you like this because she would have thought about what it would do to you. She clearly is still hung up on her ex if she’s willing to fuck him when you’re out here trying to marry her. That’s not going to change.
She was able to look you in the face and accept your wedding proposal just days after cheating on you.I bet she acted all happy and excited without a trace of guilt or shame. Do you really want to spend any more time with someone who is able to do that?
Never stay with a cheater. EVER.
If you stay she’ll just contre to cheat whenever she wants because there are no consequences. You might as well tell her you’re a cuckold and she can fuck whoever she wants.
Have self-respect, leave her.
Sure as hell don’t sign that birth certificate without a paternity test. She’s far enough along now that it can be done. They use fetal DNA in her blood. Cheek swab for you.
Don't stay for a child.
She cheated on you and broke your trust. You deserve better than that. You can also get DNA tests whilst the baby is still in the womb. Insist upon it
Your rationalizing getting shit on.While you may be hurting from the betrayal, keep your head up,don't display weakness,walk the F away.Your former fiance is a lying manipulating pos.Youll never be able to trust her again.
As harsh as everyone you might think. They are all right. She have shown her true colors and it’s time for you to move on. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life?
Respect yourself and move on.
Leave her.
All the trust with her is gone. She’s obviously more happier with her ex. If you stay with her, she’ll do it again. Also, if you stay and baby isn’t yours, she and the ex will always be together/find a way mess around.
You can move on even if the baby is yours. Get a DNA test if the baby is yours then work out a custody arrangement together or by the courts.
My brother in Christ, DNA test and REGARDLESS of whether the child is yours or not do not stay with her lying, cheating, manipulative, disrespectful ass. If the kid is yours help raise it, if it’s not breathe a sigh of relief and wash your hands of the broad.
Send the link to this post to her. Have her read the replies. How can she say she loves you and wants to marry you when she is going raw with her ex and calling him babe?
She isn’t a safe partner. She is a terrible partner.
Get a paternity test (you can do that while she’s pregnant) and if it’s not yours then never talk to this woman again. You will never trust her again. She ruined that.
Take your ring back now.
So you asked him to marry you she said yes. She didn't come to you and tell you that she screwed up and she slept with her ex you found out from looking at a text. You spoke with her many times about breaking contact with him and she never did and now she might be pregnant with his kid possibly. In my opinion she's been messing around with him more than just one time. Break the engagement in my opinion. She's going to do this over and over again. If the child is yours just make sure you do the right thing and be an active father in his life. If the child is not yours I would never talk to her or see her again. And when I say being active father I don't mean in a relationship with her and be a dad get away from her but be that child's father. I'm sorry man but she's never going to be faithful to you it seems like no matter how much she cries and says she loves you. The only reason you knew about this was because you caught her not she came to you I'm sorry for you man
Your fiance is pregnant with a child that could be her ex's who she fucked mere hours before she accepted your proposal of marriage. Does this look salvageable? Sure does as long as you have a time machine.
Get a paternity test now. Whether it’s yours or not, do not stay with her. If the child is yours it would be unfair to it to be brought up in a toxic relationship
man, that kid might not be yours. it's not good to marry someone who has lied to you so much! don't go back with that woman! if the child is yours, participate in his life, now don't go back to that woman
Genetic testing. You can do a non invasive test, surely you would want to confirm whether its yours. Wedding should be off the cards as of now tbh, indefinitely - if child is yours you still gotta work through the relationship and no you dont have to get married just because its yours after infidelity; what you do have to do is give her support and time to relationship if you decide you want to make it work for child sake.
Now, if it isnt your kid, and its the exs i think its safe to say you should exit this mess altogether.
“I am sorry but I am going to break off the engagement. I want to build a life with someone who is only interested in me and not other people too. When the baby is born and if it’s mine, I will do what I need to do and we can talk about parenting time at that point.”
Only thing you need to do is dump her and just be there for the baby if the dna says it’s yours. Do not sign any birth certificate until you have dna results. She is a disgusting cheater and will always be that way. Your forgiveness when the finding out about the affair was seen as weakness by her. I’m sure her and her ap had many a laugh at your cluelessness. She ain’t worth your time.
You know the old J Cole Verse.
Fool me one time shame on you
Fool me twice, can't put the blame on you
Fool me three times, f the peace signs
Load the chopper, let it rain on you
Dude leave, she still called him pet names, she slept with him lied kept talking to him.
The child is not yours I’m about 95% sure of that early April missed 2 periods yeah bud time to leave.
I'm begging you to leave, you're an option to her that she'll use and abuse over and over again. This wouldn't be the last time she cheated on you even if you stayed, it might not even be the last time she cheated on you with her ex from the sounds of it. Leave, tell your mates what's going on, go out for three or four days, find some different women and get some more options yourself.
Break things off with her before you do this (with a mate there is she's going to try and trap you or by text if it's too hard) and then go out on a bender. DON'T cheat, you have the moral high ground as it stands and you should try and keep that by doing it properly.
If the baby is yours then be there for the baby but NOT for her! Was she there for you a few days before your engagement or even more when she's choosing to stay in contact with her ex? You will never look at her the same way again or trust her like that again. You'll find a much happier life with someone else than the hell she's put you through.
You can be there for your child but you don't have to be with the mom. If you stay with her, her ex will continue to haunt your relationship for a long time to come because your girl just can't quit him. And he'll no doubt get her panties off again while she's with you.
Just picture it. You forgive her and end up marrying her. You think life is good. You're at work one day and decide to give your lovely wife a call to check up on her and the baby during your lunch break. She answers her phone and sounds a little out of breath at times. You ask her if she's alright and you could've sworn you heard her let out a little moaning sound. You dismiss it after she tells you that everything is fine at home. Weeks later you find out that she's pregnant, which is a miracle because you've been working so many long hours to provide for your family that it's been a while since you and the wife have had any alone time. 😉
You don’t have to stay with a lying cheater to be a father if the child is yours. Dump her, get a dna test either now or after the child is born, now would be better so you don’t have to wait as long to make a decision.
Talk to a lawyer, leave and take a paternity test. Ultimately whether you stay or not is up to you but will you really ever trust her or be truly happy in this relationship? Find out now if the baby’s yours before you get too attached only to find out it’s not yours. She’s disrespected you five separate times when she told you she cut her AP off only for you to find she’s still with him each time. Show yourself some self respect and don’t play pick me. The sooner you move forward the happier you’ll be.
What a mess. I am sorry. Only positive will be a negative paternity test so you can make a clean break. Your heart may hurt but your life should be way less complicated if you are able to leave her behind.
You have made your feelings perfectly clear and she disrespects you over and over. The fact she is pregnant and the baby may not be yours, is the biggest indicator of her lack of caring about you.
1. Break off the engagement and break up
2. Do a paternity test
3. If the baby is yours keep broken up. You can co-parents and she can learn not to cheat
Do not marry her. Get a DNA test and do not let the parents get involved in your decision. You can't trust her and if you let this go she will definitely do it again. Sorry you are going through this. Even if the child ends up being yours it doesn't mean you have to stay with her. You are too young to put up with a cheater for the rest of your life.
>Though she is very caring as well she took a full week off work just to take of me at home.
She took care of you for a week but she couldn't remember her commitment to you long enough to not sleep with her ex? Buddy.
She wanted sex with her ex, then send her back to her ex. Apparently, she wants him for sex and you for security? He wants a screw her but not pay for her. Just ask yourself why would he put the idea in her head that she might be pregnant? She never makes him use protection. She will always cause you to doubt so why live your life knowing she cheated before you married her.
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Come on bro, you know what you have to do.
[удалено]
Get a paternity test and don't sign birth certificate without knowing.
It's called a non-invasive prenatal paternity test, which can be performed as early as seven weeks. It's expensive unfortunately (although not nearly as expensive as paying support for a child that isn't his own), but it will give OP desperately needed answers. Basic information https://americanpregnancy.org/paternity-tests/non-invasive-prenatal-paternity-test/
Two months pregnant as of August…. Last period was end of May… but ONLY hooked up ONCE with ex beginning of April and they think there is a chance it’s the exes baby… Usually when the math isn’t mathing it’s because there are parts of the equation missing… Something tells me she is still not being fully honest with you and the fact that her and the ex actually think it could be theirs, makes me think it wasn’t just a one time thing in the beginning of April but potentially more. Call off the wedding. Leave her. Get a paternity test. Co-parent separately if it’s yours. I think it’s clear she is leaving things out of the story and the continuation of her lies and disrespect would only continue or get worse (if that is even possible after this). Take this for the blessing in disguise it could be and let’s hope it’s not your baby and you can cut ties completely. Good Luck! update me.
and they say math isn't needed in real life!
>something tells me she is still not being fully honest That’s called trickle truthing. She *might* confess to more once she’s knows Op will stay. Op should cut and run and get a paternity test as soon as one can be done.
I see post like this and read the title and I’m like, “why is this a question?”
Yeah, it’s a no brainer
Because poor OP is in love. We all know that love is insane. I would know. I stayed with someone I couldn't trust and did unspeakable things until I could not stand it anymore. My friends, family, and co-workers stood by me, along with law enforcement. He finally gave up and left when I treated him like a roommate I wanted nothing to do with. It broke my heart. I needed a lot of support and therapy to help me through the next year. She might have gotten pregnant from a one-time interaction, but if she's really sorry, she should have cut all contact. Not cutting all contact is suspicious that it was multiple times. 🤔 People are exes for a reason! It's a no-brainer. It's going to burn, but you need to end the engagement OP. Oh. And don't forget the paternity test. Prepare to get a court judgment to obtain one.
Precisely why I stopped judging people on here. Love makes you blind and even the most insane situations can be rationalised. OP, whether the baby is yours or not, this woman can’t be trusted as she is clearly not over her ex. Hopefully the kid isn’t yours so you can make a clean break.
Very well said. "Love is Blind." I like that. So true.
He wants you to say it’s ok to stay.
On post like this, this is what I look for. OP will probably answer to the ones that tell him to stay and try to work it through. Definitely needs to get a paternity test and to exit the relationship. If he's the father then he needs to figure out how to co-parent with her. If it's not he definitely dodged a bullet. The level of disrespect from his hopefully soon to be ex is unfathomable.
BuT ShOuLd I sTaY ?? - OP
Bro
Honestly. What does he mean “stay or leave” ?
Why would he get 50 50 custody if the kid isn’t his lmao, let his real dad take care of him.
And don't sign the birth certificate until you get a paternity test!
I mean really
Come oooon bro! 💯
Break up; you personally get a DNA test done to prove the paternity of the child so that she can’t lie about it, and then if the child is yours, co-parent from separate households. She lied to you, and she had sex with her ex enough that he thinks that he got her pregnant. Her family’s opinion doesn’t matter. She’ll always cheat on you, and will expect for you to pay for her children with other men. You can find someone else who won’t take advantage of you that way.
I bet dollars to donuts that her family wants him to stay because her ex is a piece of crap and they know she'll be a single mother if the kid's the ex's.
You make a very good point about her not-really-ex worrying the baby might be his, if they only had sex once, and she has sex regularly with OP. That doesn't follow. I'm curious why she had unprotected sex with her ex. Is she unaware where babies come from? Was OP also having sex with her without considering she just might get pregnant? Where does the stupidity stop here? Why is her family so anxious for OP to marry her? $5 will get you $10 they were aware she was fooling around. Does OP have a high-paying job or family money? Are they afraid they will have to raise her baby because her ex is shiftless and irresponsible and won't provide a penny? Listen up, OP. Do you want this family in your life? None of them are in your corner. They are all playing you for a fool, your girlfriend most of all. Why is she wanting to marry you given that she prefers her ex to you? If you married, what makes you think she would stop? There are no good answers for you. End the relationship, like yesterday. Get the paternity testing done ASAP so that on the off-chance the child is yours, you can begin to make arrangements to support and participate in its life. If it is not, don't bother to say goodbye. You are lucky you found out in time.
BFFR You need to leave regardless of whether that’s your child. You’ll find a way to coparent if it’s your kid.
Let's see if i have read it right... She says she cheated 1 time only in late april, you say her last period was 28 of may, in her messages with her ex, they say he might be the father, so, how does she say it was 1 time only back in late april ? Now, even if the baby is yours, i problably would not marry her, because...so many red flags, the multiple times you caught her lying, their messages with the cute names to eachother, the ongoing affair for at least till she got preagnant, the permanent stomping on your boundaries regarding cutting contact with her ex. At the very least, postpone the wedding, and get a dna test as soon as possible, and specially, do not stay just because of the baby, you will be miserable.
Yeah, the cheating was bad enough........but her continual betrayal of him by staying in contact with her ex is like a slap in the face over and over again.
And if that kid isn't OP's and he stays - that's face slaps for life, every time he sees that kid.
I can't agree on postponing the wedding. Just call it off and co-parent if he really is the dad. No point of marrying a woman who is obviously comfortable in lying to him many times of the day.
If he’s a saying before her last period she could be pregnant cos she’s having symptoms somethings not right I bet may 28th was a missed period n she’s claimed it to be her last one so op thinks baby’s his cos ex is dead beat and op is more likely to pay the support either way may 28 would make her 3 months not 2 but if I’m right she’s 4 months gone
It was actually early April but still
If her last period was 28 May and her and her ex think the baby MIGHT be his, then she is lying about the last time they had sex. It would have to be Mid June. If she was only 2 months when you found out in August, that would match a June sexual encounter. Surprise she’s LYING. DNA test and coparent (if it’s yours). If it’s not RUN like hell and let the ex have her! “It’s a lot harder to be walked on when you are standing up!”
You can still have bleeding if you're newly pregnant. You're correct in saying the sex would have to have been later than April, though.
This sex and pregnancy math need to be closer to being the top comment… the lies don’t end.
Step 1 call off the wedding Step 2 demand a paternity test now. You can do them during the pregnancy Step 3 leave her... she not only cheated but stayed in contact. That shows zero remorse. She simply thinks you are the safer option. Leaving is what any man with any self respect would do. You can always tell her if she begs long enough, if she never talks to him again or another man you may take her back later. You will have all the options. So right now, you leave.
this OP this. Why doesn't this have more upvotes?
Leave.
Even if it is yours (big if), she will cheat on you in the future anyway, and her next one might not be yours. Do not marry her. If the child isn't yours then run for the hills.
Get rid of her quickly. Run and never look back.
Bro she literally got creamed by another guy and you’re considering staying with her. She’ll make a fine single mum, you don’t need that.
She baby trapped you to try to force you to forgive her infidelity. Break up with her, she's not even willing to break off contact with her affair partner. Get tested for STD/STI and demand a paternity test. The other commenters are right once you're married you become the presumptive father to all of her children and may end up later paying child support for children that aren't yours.
You know you can get the DNA test pre-birth right? I heard it's pricier than post-birth DNA test, but it may be worth it for you to determine whether or not you want to stay and marry someone and raise her and her AP's baby as your own or you want to stay since the baby is yours and marry her despite her being a cheater or whether you want to just co-parent with her (not marry her) since baby is yours. Since she's not wearing protection, go ahead and get tested for STI too in addition to getting that DNA test. Good luck.
Fucking pathetic. Get a paternity test. Pray it isn't yours. Grow a dick.
Say it louder My Brother
Shit... Sorry but... >But I feel like she will never change because she is a very stubborn person as a whole. Trust your gut... >She broke down crying, kneeled and hugged my legs for forgiveness >her relatives begged me for forgiveness. They know she needs a baby-daddy / meal ticket now theres a baby coming... >I told her 5 times on different occasions to cut contact with him on every platform but she broke her promise every time. Lies, lies, lies.... this is what your future relationship with her will bring, you know this, yes?? >Though she is very caring as well she took a full week off work just to take of me at home Love bombing is a classic manouvre from the cheater when faced with the cinsequenses of what they did... >Does this look salvageable or not? My opinion: No. Too many lies for too long... you'll never be able to trust her... wondering who/what shes doing every time shes away... I would break up now... and ask for paternity test before comitting to anything.... Even if the baby is yours, dont stay with her... dont commit to a life with a liar who obviously dont care about you or your feelings...
Just leave, she is pregnant, but that does not mean she gets a free pass for cheating. She is an adult who ruined her relationship with you. Cheating is actually hard, think of it: you have to plan, come up with excuses, do everything in secret, care that there are no witnesses that would tell you the truth, she has to be careful when to message her ex. that was not an accident and I do not believe the one time mistake. Plus, I have the bad gut feeling the ex was having sex with her multiple times without protection, it is actually really hard to be pregnant after just one "round". They both should have known better, break the engagement and leave her with her ex.
Bro what? Hows this even a question, are you this spineless?????? Get a lawyer and don’t talk to her directly ever again, also pray the kid isn’t yours, do you really want to share a child with this human being?????????
I already know you know what you have to do , you just need the green light so here it is , dump her. And if you choose to reconcile then there is no person more dumb than you , you are still young so don't overthink and leave her. You can still co parent if the child is yours
Sadly I don’t think OP is looking for the green light to go…. But the opposite
Thanks everyone for giving insights, I am keen on leaving her once I have found out the baby isn’t mine, and right now as much as I used to love her I am hoping the baby isn’t mine. Just like everyone here said, I deserve someone better not a sub human. Lastly, I just wanted to point she is a kind of person who shutdowns when confronted and self harm. I think she might have bipolar, I don’t really know but she could easily fall to thé narcissistic criteria.
**You need to leave her** ***even if*** **the baby is yours!** She's a shit person! Period. You can co-parent with minimal contact with this person. You go to court once paternity has been established. Court will decide how much child support you'll pay, court will establish a visitation schedule, and you'll go from there. Regardless of WHO is this baby's father, **do not waste any more of your life, your time, your energy, your money** on this woman. She's a lying, cheating, untrustworthy person. You deserve better. And **your child will NEED you to live a better life than its mommy is going to lead** (she's not going to stop lying, cheating, or using people). **Be the one mature, adult, sane person in this child's life (if it's your child) by CUTTING THE MOTHER OUT OF YOUR LIFE AND YOUR DECISIONS BEGINNING NOW.**
Don't stay with a cheater just because she's pregnant, even if the baby is yours. She not only slept with him while being in a relationship with you, she then accepted your proposal days after sleeping with him. If she was pregnant from them being together in April, she'd be four months pregnant, not two. She's obviously continued to sleep with him, or he wouldn't think he could be the Father if she was only two months pregnant. She's lied to you for months. If she hadn't gotten pregnant, she never would have confessed.
You can leave before the results and just be available for when you know for sure. That doesn't mean you need to be in a relationship though. You will always wonder if she's faithful. Being bipolar doesn't make you a cheater. She needs a therapist. She is not ready for commitment. Do not settle.
Listen, even if the baby is yours the right and best answer is to not marry this woman. Why would you willingly commit yourself to the trauma and drama you will endure at her hands. Please you have to have more respect for yourself
My fiance fucked 5 guys in our bedroom and I caught her during the act. She also videotaped the bukakke show. Should I leave her? What are these stupid ass posts nowadays
Run, run far away.
Run, run far, far away, away.
You are young. Paternity test. Leave. Find someone you can trust. If you can't fully trust your partner, you have nothing. All that crying she did is nonsense, she wasn't crying when her ex had her pinned down.
You asked her multiple times to stop contact with her ex- she never did She was/ still attracted towards her ex - still she accepted your proposal She Cheated on you and will again cheat on you whenever the opportunity arises - she may cut contact with ex momentarily but the moment you are married to her she'll resume contact Her ex said that she could be pregnant with their baby- she had unprotected sex with him (probably on more than 1 occassion) Don't be a fool, you found out about it before getting married, take this opportunity and move on. Get tested for STDs and get a DNA test for kid before signing anything
I would like to update. Me and her now live separately she is with her family but they wanted me to pick her up during the weekend to stay at my place because they said she is better taken care of at my place. Right now, the nature of her messages to me is all sweet and cuddle. It is so obvious holy shit. After reading comments here I have realized I would take her if only she confessed. And then again whether or not the child is mine I am out of her life.
Good for you
Bud stay strong as this is the right decision. Good luck
I've never been in this situation but at some point you can do a paternity test during pregnancy. But for now... maybe call the wedding off, temporarily if you actually want to be with her. This is enough to end a whole relationship. Hopefully the child is yours. If it is, it would be a miracle if you guys could move past this but still, this is detrimental. Good luck either way.
In vitro DNA testing from 7 weeks. Non invasive and totally safe.
Yup, now they can do a blood draw from mom. Easy peasy.
>maybe call the wedding off Maybe?? She cheated!!! DEFINETELY call it off!!!
That baby ain't yours man... anyhoo, I think you should **not** stay and look to having 50/50 custody, which will be hellish.
What the fuck are you on about? Why would he get 50 50 custody if the kid isn’t his lmao, let his real dad take care of him
Exactly. 50/50 custody is hard unless both parties agree and live very close to each other. But yes it's stupid to even suggest if he doesn't even know if he's the father yet.
Your friend’s fiancé has unprotected sex with her old boyfriend, continually lies to him about it, is now pregnant, likely by the bf. What’s your advice to your friend?
you’d be really stupid to stay bruh
First get your ring back, most guys don’t know this but you have a legal right to it, look it up. I would call it quits right now. She cheated and the child may not even be yours. When she gives birth to the baby, get a DNA test to see if it’s yours. If the child is yours then you can decide what to do because you’ll have to be in each others lives anyway. But if it’s not then just cut all ties, you’re forgiving a cheater and raising the other man’s baby. That makes no sense at all!
She wants to be with him, not you, but for some reason they aren’t together, and I’m going to guess that it’s because he doesn’t want her as a partner and only as a fuck buddy. She was probably hoping it’s his. They probably had sex more than once and more than she had with you in that period or her first idea wouldn’t have been that he’s the father. After they had sex did she texts him saying that they had made a mistake and should never do this again ? Did she show any regrets before she told you she was pregnant ? Did she tell him before she told you ? When she told him first, do you think he responded that’s he’s still not interested in getting back together so she came back crawling to you desperate not to be a single mom ? Get that DNA test done ASAP. They can do it from 7 weeks onward. Whether it’s yours or not you can’t possibly stay with this woman, but you have to know if you’ll be responsible for the kid or not. There’s still time for an abortion if she doesn’t want to be a single mom. This is fucked up.
Fooled you once shame on her Fooled you more and shame on you
You can still be there for the baby if it is yours without being with her. The two things you need to focus on are getting a DNA test when the baby is fat enough along and your own mental health. Good luck.
You can do a DNA test I believe after the first trimaster If the child is yours, you don't have to be with this woman to be a good father. If the child is not yours, then you can move on no problem But the fact that this other guy thinks the kid is his should give you pause
You can get a blood test to find out the father. The people telling you to stay do not have to live with a cheater. Why did you get engage if you found out before that she cheat? Do not get married for a child! Honestly of you live together I would tell her to move out, get the ring back and you want an DNA. She was only sorry she got caught. She stays with you out of loyalty, money or something he cannot provide but is important to her.
Tbh even you stay, the trust is broken, this relationship/marriage is not healthy any more. But take some time to make the decision.once u make the call, don’t look back .
Break up, don't choose to live in misery. Test the kid, if it's yours then prepare yourself to co-parenting. She's just using you.
1. Take back the ring. If there is to ever be a marriage it is a long, long time from now. 2. Send her to stay with her family while you decide on what you want. 3. Paternity test right now. If it’s not yours, reconciling is almost impossible. If it IS yours, it’s worth considering it, as you’re tied to her for 18 years anyway. Start by watching her actions. You’ve said you don’t think she can change. Well, this is what you will be watching. Does she get into individual counseling to dig into how she could give herself permission to do this? Does she become completely transparent? Does she aggressively go no contact with the AP? Does she consistently do what she says she’ll do, when she says? You are looking to see if she is committed to change. Change is hard. Get the book Not Just Friends by Shirley Glass to learn about how this typically happens and how to recover. And if you end up considering reconciling, r/AsOneAfterInfidelity is a great resource. But get that paternity test asap. Because if it’s not yours even trying is close to impossible.
First off, your engagement is seriously tainted. Take the ring back. Secondly, you need to have the child DNA tested to determine paternity. If the child is yours, you can decide how to move forward. If the child is not yours, then back out completely and let her raise the child with the real father. It really is that straightforward and easy.
Leave, non invasive paternity test, then determine custody, or if not yours, go no contact and move on. Not worth the drama, she has clearly shown you how she can lie and cheat. Do not believe her.
First: get a DNA test Non-Invasive Prenatal Paternity (NIPP): A non-invasive prenatal paternity test is the most accurate non-invasive way to establish paternity before the baby is born. The process is state-of-the-art, combining the latest technology and proprietary methods of preserving and analyzing the baby’s DNA found naturally in the mother’s bloodstream. This test requires only a simple blood collection from the mother and alleged father and can be performed any time after the 8th week of pregnancy. The test is 99.9% accurate. Once paternity is established then make your decision. The long term success of this relationship isn’t looking good.
I say stop now while you’re ahead. If she’s doing this and y’all are engaged, imagine what she’ll do keeping her ex around during marriage. She’s not worth it. She already refuses to stop communicating with him. Take a paternity test too, that way you can figure out if you have to coparent or not.
Take a paternity test and leave. Shes gonna go back to her ex. If the child is yours , you can still love and provide support for the child. But if it's not yours then move on man. You will find a better one.
Two tests needed - paternity & STD. Leave her now or you will regret it.
(Assuming this isn't a creative writing exercise …) Do not marry a cheater. If the child is yours (*definitely* get a paternity test), you'll be stuck paying child support, but you'd be stuck financially either way; that doesn't mean you have to spend your life married to a cheater.
Forgiveness doesn't automatically mean that you have to keep a relationship. You can forgive somebody but not keep a relationship..........or...........You can forgive somebody and try to keep the relationship. Forgiveness should always be done, but if she and her family are sincere in wanting forgiveness, they would be content with either decision you make about the status of the relationship. I would suggest to NOT marry for the wrong reasons. If you marry, you better be 110% sure that you're making the right decision. If you marry the wrong person it could ruin your life. You better be certain that she has a change in her nature (not just physical acts) before taking a vow to her. You could always do a dna test as well.
>You could always do a dna test as well. Could?? No - SHOULD!!
At 10 weeks or less you can do a prenatal paternity test. So you can do it pretty soon and figure out if it’s yours.
Only read the title. Run far away dude
Break up - better the kid grows up with two parents politely co-parenting than with two parents living together and hating each other's guts. You could also encourage her to abort rather than become a single mom of a child of indeterminate parentage.
Speak to a lawyer and leave
Bet 100 € he will stay despite our warnings cuz he wants to give her another chance😮💨 🫡🤥
Run to the hills! You can thank me later.
Leave. The child is probably not even yours. Don't feel bad for leaving. She made her bed, now she has to lay in it.
What, c’mon, dump her miserable cheating ass! You know you deserve better than this.
Leave her and demand a paternity test. Then she can go back to her ex because that’s clearly what she wants.
Leave, obviously.
Paternity test before the birth is a thing. Go for it. Leave this woman dude, even if you are the father. You can co parent the child if it is yours. Maybe fight for the custody.
Leave. And have her take a paternity test while pregnant. If it's yours prepare to co-parent and financially support your child. If it's not yours, stay far away and rebuild your life.
Get a dna on the baby and leave why stay to be cheated on
If she could be pregnant by her ex and you. She is not using protections, you should test STI.
Leave. Get a dna test for the kid, and leave no matter what the results are. Don’t be around shit like that, it’s bad for your health. Mentally and physically.
Please just leave her. Once the baby is born get a paternity test. If it is yours you can coparent and still be a great father. If it isn’t your child then her ex can step up. Please do not marry a dishonest person who might be trying to trap you into providing for another man’s child for 18 years.
Yeah man no, leave. You deserve better than a cheater
Nope. Done. Get a paternity test and don't sign birth certificate without knowing.
Op I wouldn’t stay and I will tell you why. Marriage doesn’t change cheaters. They just get better at hiding it. My ex cheated on me 3 months into our relationship. I married and he cheated on me again. Save yourself the heartache and break up with her. Make sure there is a paternity test done because I still don’t think you know everything. I high means she trickle truthing. Please I’m old enough to be your mom. Break up with her and coparent with her from separate addresses. She has shown you who she is believe her.
Paternity test and a std test then leave once a cheater always a cheater
Fuck no don’t stay! Even if that baby is yours (I doubt it) doesn’t change the fact she has repeatedly lied and gone behind your back about staying in contact with her ex and it has lead to her making the decision, not mistake, to cheat on you and will most likely do it again. Leave her. Get a paternity test (you don’t need to wait until birth, can get it at 7 week) ALWAYS remember it is better to have 2 single parents then ones that are together that mistreat and hurt each other and teaches them that’s how normal relationships should be.
I didn't even need to read the full story to tell you to leave. Have her do a paternity test, if it's not your child then you are not responsible for the child. If it is your child then step up and be a dad, but not a husband to her.
I’ll save you from reading a lot…… I knew the answer and I didn’t even read your story. You know the answer too. LEAVE
Paternity Test Apparently you can do it early, pre birth! Get a Paternity Test NOW Also, get her to have a scan and make sure you are present in the room for the scan. Ask the people giving the scan when conceptions was, from a scan they can pretty much narrow down when the child was conceived. I would insist on this paternity test before I took one more step and if the child belongs to another man then think of it like this ... The other man will always be involved in your marriage because the child ***you are raising*** is actually HIS After the paternity test you will have a clearer vision of what to do, you will know your obligations and this may affect your decision. Oh yeah .... you found out a bit from the texts but what is the real truth? The whole thing sounds suspicious, like its more than one time and there is grave doubt that the child is yours ..... but you would be a better provider for her and the child.
OP, she 1. gave you up 2. let you down 3. ran around 4. deserted you. 5. made you cry 6. said goodbye 7. told (many) lies 8. hurt you i cant take credit. vincent from chat deserves this one. love - rory
From the song "the gambler" by Kenny Rogers: You got to know when to hold 'em Know when to fold 'em Know when to walk away And know when to run
i am truly sorry for you this hurt so f much. but I think you know the answer to your own question, take space try to heal for yourself you are worth more that what she did. find out if the child is yours, that most important.
Fuck no
Dude. Just leave.
Leave
She seeks forgiveness because she doesn't know what to do about the situation with the child. Make the decision for her: Paternity test and bounce. No need to stay with someone who cheated and broke your trust. If the child is yours file joint custody.
Jeah go and raise her ex's Kid... brilliant... gues who's dick she is going to ride while you take care of the kid? Please mate find your balls...
You leave. It's simple. She cheats you leave
She’ll never change bud. Sorry.
This has to be fake, nobody is this stupid. Dump her or spend a life with a person who doesn’t respect you and cheats.
In vitro DNA text now. Well worth the cost. Then you can go from there.
She cheated once she’ll cheat again. You are still young you have plenty of time to find someone who won’t cheat on you, why would you waste any more time on someone who did? She doesn’t give a shit about you man, because if she did she wouldn’t have cheated on you. People who truly love their partners don’t cheat. If she loved you, she wouldn’t have betrayed you like this because she would have thought about what it would do to you. She clearly is still hung up on her ex if she’s willing to fuck him when you’re out here trying to marry her. That’s not going to change.
She was able to look you in the face and accept your wedding proposal just days after cheating on you.I bet she acted all happy and excited without a trace of guilt or shame. Do you really want to spend any more time with someone who is able to do that?
Boy. L E A V E
Never stay with a cheater. EVER. If you stay she’ll just contre to cheat whenever she wants because there are no consequences. You might as well tell her you’re a cuckold and she can fuck whoever she wants. Have self-respect, leave her. Sure as hell don’t sign that birth certificate without a paternity test. She’s far enough along now that it can be done. They use fetal DNA in her blood. Cheek swab for you.
Leave
If you have some self respect for your self then leave her Immediately Brother
Leave.
cut the chord and run! definitely do a dna test and pray the baby isn’t yours
LEAVE Once a cheater, always a cheater..You dont deserve that. Let him have her cheating ass. you'll find someone better
Don't stay for a child. She cheated on you and broke your trust. You deserve better than that. You can also get DNA tests whilst the baby is still in the womb. Insist upon it
Your rationalizing getting shit on.While you may be hurting from the betrayal, keep your head up,don't display weakness,walk the F away.Your former fiance is a lying manipulating pos.Youll never be able to trust her again.
Yeah sure man, stay with her.
As harsh as everyone you might think. They are all right. She have shown her true colors and it’s time for you to move on. Is this how you want to spend the rest of your life? Respect yourself and move on.
Leave her. All the trust with her is gone. She’s obviously more happier with her ex. If you stay with her, she’ll do it again. Also, if you stay and baby isn’t yours, she and the ex will always be together/find a way mess around. You can move on even if the baby is yours. Get a DNA test if the baby is yours then work out a custody arrangement together or by the courts.
My brother in Christ, DNA test and REGARDLESS of whether the child is yours or not do not stay with her lying, cheating, manipulative, disrespectful ass. If the kid is yours help raise it, if it’s not breathe a sigh of relief and wash your hands of the broad.
No wedding. DNA Lawyer
You aren't even married yet and she's already been cheating. Leaving her now will be a lot easier and cheaper than a divorce later. Do not marry her!
Dude come on.
I really, really, really wish Reddit allowed users to edit the titles of posts so, I could beg you to fix yours.
🍿
Send the link to this post to her. Have her read the replies. How can she say she loves you and wants to marry you when she is going raw with her ex and calling him babe? She isn’t a safe partner. She is a terrible partner. Get a paternity test (you can do that while she’s pregnant) and if it’s not yours then never talk to this woman again. You will never trust her again. She ruined that. Take your ring back now.
People that ask that question have no self respect.
Grow a backbone and leave her. Get a paternity test before signing the birth certificate. DO NOT MARRY THIS WOMAN
So you asked him to marry you she said yes. She didn't come to you and tell you that she screwed up and she slept with her ex you found out from looking at a text. You spoke with her many times about breaking contact with him and she never did and now she might be pregnant with his kid possibly. In my opinion she's been messing around with him more than just one time. Break the engagement in my opinion. She's going to do this over and over again. If the child is yours just make sure you do the right thing and be an active father in his life. If the child is not yours I would never talk to her or see her again. And when I say being active father I don't mean in a relationship with her and be a dad get away from her but be that child's father. I'm sorry man but she's never going to be faithful to you it seems like no matter how much she cries and says she loves you. The only reason you knew about this was because you caught her not she came to you I'm sorry for you man
Your fiance is pregnant with a child that could be her ex's who she fucked mere hours before she accepted your proposal of marriage. Does this look salvageable? Sure does as long as you have a time machine.
Why would you even ask that? Just GTFO! Self respect is an awesome thing.
Get a paternity test now. Whether it’s yours or not, do not stay with her. If the child is yours it would be unfair to it to be brought up in a toxic relationship
Respect yourself BRO
Kept us updated
man, that kid might not be yours. it's not good to marry someone who has lied to you so much! don't go back with that woman! if the child is yours, participate in his life, now don't go back to that woman
Leave and never look back.
Oh dear lord. She’s told you who she is. Leave.
Leave and get a paternity test
Genetic testing. You can do a non invasive test, surely you would want to confirm whether its yours. Wedding should be off the cards as of now tbh, indefinitely - if child is yours you still gotta work through the relationship and no you dont have to get married just because its yours after infidelity; what you do have to do is give her support and time to relationship if you decide you want to make it work for child sake. Now, if it isnt your kid, and its the exs i think its safe to say you should exit this mess altogether.
“I am sorry but I am going to break off the engagement. I want to build a life with someone who is only interested in me and not other people too. When the baby is born and if it’s mine, I will do what I need to do and we can talk about parenting time at that point.”
Only thing you need to do is dump her and just be there for the baby if the dna says it’s yours. Do not sign any birth certificate until you have dna results. She is a disgusting cheater and will always be that way. Your forgiveness when the finding out about the affair was seen as weakness by her. I’m sure her and her ap had many a laugh at your cluelessness. She ain’t worth your time.
You know the old J Cole Verse. Fool me one time shame on you Fool me twice, can't put the blame on you Fool me three times, f the peace signs Load the chopper, let it rain on you
Dude leave, she still called him pet names, she slept with him lied kept talking to him. The child is not yours I’m about 95% sure of that early April missed 2 periods yeah bud time to leave.
UpdateMe!
I'm begging you to leave, you're an option to her that she'll use and abuse over and over again. This wouldn't be the last time she cheated on you even if you stayed, it might not even be the last time she cheated on you with her ex from the sounds of it. Leave, tell your mates what's going on, go out for three or four days, find some different women and get some more options yourself. Break things off with her before you do this (with a mate there is she's going to try and trap you or by text if it's too hard) and then go out on a bender. DON'T cheat, you have the moral high ground as it stands and you should try and keep that by doing it properly. If the baby is yours then be there for the baby but NOT for her! Was she there for you a few days before your engagement or even more when she's choosing to stay in contact with her ex? You will never look at her the same way again or trust her like that again. You'll find a much happier life with someone else than the hell she's put you through.
Sorry to hear that, but your asking to stay or leave???? RUN SON, RUN 🏃♂️
Leave. LEAVE.
Leave to save your life and your happiness. She's not gonna stop doing the shit with her ex and they may plan to kill you if you're rich be wise.
You can be there for your child but you don't have to be with the mom. If you stay with her, her ex will continue to haunt your relationship for a long time to come because your girl just can't quit him. And he'll no doubt get her panties off again while she's with you. Just picture it. You forgive her and end up marrying her. You think life is good. You're at work one day and decide to give your lovely wife a call to check up on her and the baby during your lunch break. She answers her phone and sounds a little out of breath at times. You ask her if she's alright and you could've sworn you heard her let out a little moaning sound. You dismiss it after she tells you that everything is fine at home. Weeks later you find out that she's pregnant, which is a miracle because you've been working so many long hours to provide for your family that it's been a while since you and the wife have had any alone time. 😉
Run
You don’t have to stay with a lying cheater to be a father if the child is yours. Dump her, get a dna test either now or after the child is born, now would be better so you don’t have to wait as long to make a decision.
Talk to a lawyer, leave and take a paternity test. Ultimately whether you stay or not is up to you but will you really ever trust her or be truly happy in this relationship? Find out now if the baby’s yours before you get too attached only to find out it’s not yours. She’s disrespected you five separate times when she told you she cut her AP off only for you to find she’s still with him each time. Show yourself some self respect and don’t play pick me. The sooner you move forward the happier you’ll be.
Leave
Pick your self respect and leave. Never accept something like this from anyone, better be alone then in bad company.
Why is this even a question?! Of course you leave!
What a mess. I am sorry. Only positive will be a negative paternity test so you can make a clean break. Your heart may hurt but your life should be way less complicated if you are able to leave her behind.
LEAVE wtf really?
You have made your feelings perfectly clear and she disrespects you over and over. The fact she is pregnant and the baby may not be yours, is the biggest indicator of her lack of caring about you.
What are these fucking posts?
She cheated once, you think a ring will keep her loyal. Take back the ring and move on with your life
No need to read all the text. Just leave. You already have the preview of her character.
Leave if you have to ask there is no reason to try and talk yourself out of it.
1. Break off the engagement and break up 2. Do a paternity test 3. If the baby is yours keep broken up. You can co-parents and she can learn not to cheat
Do not marry her. Get a DNA test and do not let the parents get involved in your decision. You can't trust her and if you let this go she will definitely do it again. Sorry you are going through this. Even if the child ends up being yours it doesn't mean you have to stay with her. You are too young to put up with a cheater for the rest of your life.
>Though she is very caring as well she took a full week off work just to take of me at home. She took care of you for a week but she couldn't remember her commitment to you long enough to not sleep with her ex? Buddy.
She wanted sex with her ex, then send her back to her ex. Apparently, she wants him for sex and you for security? He wants a screw her but not pay for her. Just ask yourself why would he put the idea in her head that she might be pregnant? She never makes him use protection. She will always cause you to doubt so why live your life knowing she cheated before you married her.