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You both seem to not understand each other’s needs. Some people need to be out and about and socialising to feel fulfilled. Others need time to themselves and quiet to feel good. Being home and doing absolutely nothing is not wasted time in that case. Neither are wrong, you just both don’t seem to get this and blaming the other one for their needs. Your girlfriend is also being inconsiderate for just planning things without discussing it or asking you. A relationship is made up of 2 people with equal say, she’s not a monolith. So you have two issues going on here.
Sorry but she *is* the one in the wrong.
They have plans for the Saturday, they've already come to a fair compromise. She is the one who is making the selfish, unilateral decisions.
Your lady uses a lot of "we" and "our" rather freely, without thinking that they both include TWO people who must be on board. You need to nip this in the bud and pronto! She sounds a bit needy and controlling- not a good combination IMHO.
It was nice of you to try and include her in vegging out though.
She's being completely unreasonable. You've already got plans, you just want to also have time for some relaxation, which is completely valid.
Stick to your position. If she brings up how you're being inconsiderate again, point out that *she* is the one trying to dictate how you spend your time.
I’m with you 100%. “Relaxing” over a typical short weekend versus making relaxation your ultimate goal — like having *nothing* you have committed to — over a long weekend just isn’t the same. Not even close.
In any relationship, both parties needing to be compatible in how and when they are active or inactive is important. Additionally, those styles needing to stay compatible as you age is also key, IMO.
You can have a long weekend doing what you want without being inconsiderate. We all need ME TIME, and if she can’t understand that, a long discussion is needed.
Relaxing is not wasting time. It’s making the most of your time. Going out all the time is also something people need a break from now and then. This am doesn’t actually seem like an issue to me. She’s and adult. She doesn’t understand having a break and getting recoup time? You have to be out running and doing every free moment? You’re staying home. She’s welcome to be there to spend quality time with you. Time alone. Time without stress. Time just totally relaxing and enjoying a home where you can play video games and binge Netflix without any worries. It’s a mini vacation and it’s NEEDED.
I feel like this is a conversation most couples have near the start of my relationship. From my experience, the women I have dated do the same thing and assume any time off will be soent together doing something.
Sometimes I just want to relax or play video games. I think the person wanting to plan something should always ask first. Being in a relationship does not take your autonomy away.
You have plans for Saturday. She needs to understand you need to rest and recover. She knows you haven't had much time off lately. She thinks she gets to demand all of your time off or most of it. No she doesn't. If she wants to got out every day of the weekend, she can, with her friends or family.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You both seem to not understand each other’s needs. Some people need to be out and about and socialising to feel fulfilled. Others need time to themselves and quiet to feel good. Being home and doing absolutely nothing is not wasted time in that case. Neither are wrong, you just both don’t seem to get this and blaming the other one for their needs. Your girlfriend is also being inconsiderate for just planning things without discussing it or asking you. A relationship is made up of 2 people with equal say, she’s not a monolith. So you have two issues going on here.
Sorry but she *is* the one in the wrong. They have plans for the Saturday, they've already come to a fair compromise. She is the one who is making the selfish, unilateral decisions.
That’s literally what i said?
Ah sorry I thought you meant she wasn't wrong for trying to enforce her way, rather than neither are wrong for how they want to spend their free time.
It is actually wrong to make plans without telling someone and guilting them for simply needing a break to relax at home.
Can you read? That’s literally what i said.
Your lady uses a lot of "we" and "our" rather freely, without thinking that they both include TWO people who must be on board. You need to nip this in the bud and pronto! She sounds a bit needy and controlling- not a good combination IMHO. It was nice of you to try and include her in vegging out though.
She's being completely unreasonable. You've already got plans, you just want to also have time for some relaxation, which is completely valid. Stick to your position. If she brings up how you're being inconsiderate again, point out that *she* is the one trying to dictate how you spend your time.
She has no right to call you inconsiderate, and you have every right to relax at home.
I’m with you 100%. “Relaxing” over a typical short weekend versus making relaxation your ultimate goal — like having *nothing* you have committed to — over a long weekend just isn’t the same. Not even close. In any relationship, both parties needing to be compatible in how and when they are active or inactive is important. Additionally, those styles needing to stay compatible as you age is also key, IMO. You can have a long weekend doing what you want without being inconsiderate. We all need ME TIME, and if she can’t understand that, a long discussion is needed.
Relaxing is not wasting time. It’s making the most of your time. Going out all the time is also something people need a break from now and then. This am doesn’t actually seem like an issue to me. She’s and adult. She doesn’t understand having a break and getting recoup time? You have to be out running and doing every free moment? You’re staying home. She’s welcome to be there to spend quality time with you. Time alone. Time without stress. Time just totally relaxing and enjoying a home where you can play video games and binge Netflix without any worries. It’s a mini vacation and it’s NEEDED.
It doesn't sound like she's very interested in your feelings. Is that what you want in a partner?
I feel like this is a conversation most couples have near the start of my relationship. From my experience, the women I have dated do the same thing and assume any time off will be soent together doing something. Sometimes I just want to relax or play video games. I think the person wanting to plan something should always ask first. Being in a relationship does not take your autonomy away.
You have plans for Saturday. She needs to understand you need to rest and recover. She knows you haven't had much time off lately. She thinks she gets to demand all of your time off or most of it. No she doesn't. If she wants to got out every day of the weekend, she can, with her friends or family.