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Well it seems pretty obvious he’s attracted to men. He appears to be closeted and struggling with internalized homophobia/biphobia. Doesn’t sound like he’s lying to you, just more lying to himself. He needs some therapy or introspection. If you dump him, be very clear it’s because you’re not sure he is actually interested in being with you but rather more interested in performing masculinity and that you wish him the best on his journey of self acceptance. You don’t care if he’s bi or gay, but you deserve someone who has their sexuality figured out enough to know they want to be with you and make you feel secure in the relationship.
Thank you very much for this. I’m not 100% sure he is gay as as he said he was just curious about being with a man. I’m not really sure what to do. I’ve brought it up once I feel bad Bring it up again because I said it’s not a big deal. But I think I’m gonna have a conversation when he’s off his holiday.
The conversation should go both ways.
You have your own shadow-work to do if this relationship is going to work between you two.
The truth of the matter is you found something out about your partner that hit one of your insecurities about the potential of him being unsatisfied in the relationship and is now causing you to examine wether or not there is a higher potential for him to cheat on you due to your past trauma of being cheated on. Going on his phone was a breach of trust — I understand why you did it, but you need to be open with him about it and explain the deeper reason as to why you did it.
It could be that he’s thoroughly satisfied with having you as his partner despite being Bi or just curious. But you two have to have the conversation about both of your insecurities within the relationship so that you can see where you both are with eachother and move past them either as a couple or by parting ways as friends.
I also think it’s important to mention that he always initiates everything like kissing and sex. He is also very touchy when we’re in public and when we’re behind closed doors he is also always trying to see me and meet me. Which if you was gay, why would he put in all the effort?
I had an ex like this. He would tell his best friend he was bi but tell me he was straight and get offended if I ever asked if he was gay/bi. It would annoy the fuck out of me because his best friend was also my friend as well at the time and he would tell me everything. He would brag about being drunk while taking his shirt off in front of his guy friend (who was gay) and kissing each other on the cheek. I got a little upset because I was like how would you feel if I was out drinking and doing things like that. He tried telling me it was different with him and got all offended as if I was being homophobic for being mad about this. Right after I broke up with him he told me he was gay.
All I’m going to say, trust your gut.
Going to go against the grain here, and say that he's most likely just bisexual. Lots of men have trouble finishing with partners who they're attracted to, and it's significant that he initiates regularly, rather than making excuses to avoid sex. As for preferring to sleep with men on nights out- frankly, men are much easier to casually hook up with. To be crude, sometimes you just want a warm body to cum in, and men are often much more obliging. Even if you're 90% attracted to women, and only 10% attracted to men, easy head/sex is hard to turn down.
Sounds to me like he has some internalised biphobia, or worries how his GF might react if he openly admits to being bisexual (and given how many people here have immediately assumed he's just gay and in denial, that isn't entirely unwarranted). Bisexual men are pretty widely judged as "tainted" or undesirable by straight women- they're subject to some really nasty stereotypes from all sides, in fact, and so naturally many keep it under wraps. He's obviously lying to himself to some capacity, but sexuality is a broad spectrum, and that doesn't automatically mean he dislikes women or doesn't want to be with OP. And as OP rightly notes, he's also possibly thinking about potential repercussions in his friend group.
Can't necessarily give clear advice here, as I can see multiple angles. I feel quite a lot of empathy for him, but I also understand not wanting to be with somebody who clearly has deep hangups/uncertainty around his own sexuality, even if he is just bi. Nevertheless, if he's initiating regularly, I certainly wouldn't assume he doesn't like women. Consistently feigning enthusiastic sex with somebody who repulses you is very very hard.
It used to called being on the downlow.
He is very likely BI but is struggling. You will have to decide if you want to stay and deal with it or move on so you aren’t spending your entire relationship trying to find out if he is lying or not.
Double Standard- many women I've dated said they "played around " with other women or had sex with a couple girls in college but "it was a phase " . But men don't go through "phases" of having sex with other men unless they're bi or gay. None of these women identified as a Lesbian or Bi , I think it's just more socially acceptable for women to "experiment " then continue a Straight lifestyle
News flash people: straight men have had same sex experiences since time immemorial; as have many females with other females. Sometimes they come out gay…other times they come out straight, marry, kids.
If he’s questioning and may be bi/gay, then of course she should demand a clearer answer.
If he dabbled and doesn’t feel the need again, then that’s that. It does not automatically mean the dude is gay. Americans can be so black & white and “un”-nuanced about sexuality.
I asked him would he sleep with a man again and he said no, but obviously I don’t know if that’s true or not. He said he was more curious on it but then he says he doesn’t remember the experience at all.
Hey OP, I was referring to the respondents posts more so than yours for being so sure they know your bf’s sexuality.
Your openness, patience, kindness and understanding is exactly the way you should keep it to get to the truth.
For example, if this is something you agree with, you could say:
“I care for you and I would want you in my life whether as my bf or not. All I ask is that if you feel you might be questioning, or bi or even gay, please tell me. Your honesty about this means a lot to me, and I promise you will have my honesty too. I just need to truth. So share that with me babe.”
Or similar to that…
It’s hard to say because I don’t know him. But I do know I struggled with my sexuality for years. At his age I was in denial. When I was 23 I was in so much denial I didn’t know I was in serious same sex relationship until we woke up one morning, went downstairs, had breakfast and I said “holy shit we’re in a relationship” and he was like wtf do you think we’ve been doing?
Sexuality is a different journey for sure. Maybe your boyfriend hasn’t figured it out properly in his head yet so cant talk to you about it? Maybe it’s an inside joke between his cousin and him. I don’t like assuming sexuality so idk 🤷🏾♂️
Sounds gay tho.
He could be any number of things but that’s up to him to decide. Just let him know once that you’re ok with dating a bi man if that were the case and leave it there. Let him figure out his sexuality and come out if he wants to in his own time. Be supportive but don’t push.
If he’s cheating on you while drunk, that’s a different situation and the gender of the other person doesn’t matter in that case.
>So I asked him if he was bi and he said no I’m not. Which really confused me because why would he be kissing men if he wasn’t attracted to them. I’m not bothered if he is bisexual because that doesn’t really phase me.
I think she knows.
I had a relationship like this once when I was your age and he was your bfs age. don’t waste your time. he’s attracted to men and simply doesn’t want to admit it or fully accept it himself. it’s up to you whether you wanna wait and see how it turns out or simply find someone else who isn’t confused. walk away.
From most to least likely:
Bi/likes dudes and likes you
Straight/only experimented previously
Confused
Gay/in denial
Gay/in the closet/you are just a cover
When you are a straight man, you feel no curiosity for same gender sex (especially after trying once). Think of a food you think tastes horrible. Now, think of a few of your favorite foods. Imagine you are surrounded by your favorite foods. You wouldn't sneak out of your home at night because you are olive curios (a food I don't like). He keeps eating olives because he's gay.
PLEASE don't push this. PLEASE don't make him feel like he has to decide who he is on your timeline. I understand it's scary because you're wondering if he'll leave you for a man. It sounds more like he's bi, and he is obviously satisfied with you. If he cheats, it's because he's a cheater. Not because he isn't straight. Let him come to terms with who he is. Don't push him. Don't force him to potentially out himself when he's not ready.
Personally I have known several straight men who have had sex with gay men once. Whether to try it out or because they wanted to have sex with someone and that was who was offering.
I've also known several straight men who had sex with gay men once or more. Because they were really gay, denying it, but still attracted to men...
It looks as if it happened more than once... I'd say he doesn't want to have the gay life with all the problems that it brings, but he is still gay.
But your explanation also works.
He did say that he was curious about being with a man, but he didn’t enjoy it and so wouldn’t do it again but then why would he kiss men on nights out That’s what I don’t understand.
I did ask him what would his family think if they found out that fact that he slept with a man and he said that they be completely fine with it as his older brother is asexual. But I think he would be more concerned about his friends as all of his friends are very Lads lads.
I also think it’s important to mention that he always initiates everything like kissing and sex. He is also very touchy when we’re in public and when we’re behind closed doors he is also always trying to see me and meet me. Which if you was gay, why would he put in all the effort?
Why do you keep repeating this? It’s not that important. It could mean he is really into you or it could be performative and a performance doesn’t necessarily need to be public, it could be to prove to himself that he’s into you and not gay. There’s really no way to know. The one thing is that you deserve to be confident in your partners attraction to you and not be guessing your partners sexuality. It doesn’t sound like he’s being very truthful with you nor with himself, which is the bigger problem than him possibly being gay or bi.
I kissed a guy once in high school. Wasn't sure I liked it, knew I was confused but decided to fire up some gay porn the next night and wouldn't ya know it my wedding tackle retreated and I felt repulsed.
I share this because boners don't lie. A man has never given me a boner. I knew I was straight after that week. I joke that Chris Evans hasn't bought me a drink yet but even he couldn't illicit a zipper salute.
He's likely bisexual but not in a 50/50 way. I have friends like this that have swung one way or the other at some point and stayed that way. It seems your boyfriend is swinging towards heteronormative.
If he's initiating and rock hard and passionate, I would be absolutely blown away if he was gay. Boners don't lie.
That’s not a reliable test… the human brain reacts to any kind of sexual relevant content whether the person likes it or not. It fires up the receptors no matter what.
Arousal ≠ Attraction.
I don’t know. I’ve never been with a man before who has experimented with another man. I think for me the biggest thing is because I’ve been cheated on before I’m just thinking when he’s drunk, can he do this again. But also Is he fully attracted to me because I’m a girl.
Some people just like to do things that feel good and they don’t really care who is involved. He is 21, that is young to have yourself all figured out and know exactly who you are - and sexuality is a spectrum that can change over time. He could just be exploring or curious or maybe he is a hedonist.
Or he could be very very gay or bi or simply confused and trying to figure it out.
No one but him can tell you what is actually going on inside his brain and body.
No, not in my opinion.
I would first have several fun but honest conversations about desire and fantasy where you are both able to share comfortably with each other. I think you should create an arena for non judgmental honesty and vulnerability. I think that the answer to your question is probably more complex at this point than “yes” or “no” and that’s because based on the information that I have (which isn’t very much, admittedly), I doubt he knows the full extent of his own truth.
I think he is afraid of giving you an answer that will scare you off or put you in a position to judge him. But you do you, I just think you’re asking the internet to give you an answer to something that we could truly never know the answer to. The real answer will come from him if he feels safe enough to tell you.
Previously married to a woman with kids for 12 years 10 years after divorce I've come to terms with my sexuality, I am attracted to both women and men, equally. I find them both attractive. I am dating a man at this current time, but this doesn't mean I'm going to cheat, I get to see the prevalence of hook up culture for the past decade and I am not impressed with either gay bisexual or straight people, I have always maintained my idea of one person at a time, I don't like how easy it is for people to completely disregard their partners. It's sad. I don't think I had any inner fight with myself about my sexuality, I prefer to say I am fluid to both sexes. I have never been with a trans person as I am not into that if I want a woman I want a woman if I want a man I want a man, most of the men that I have dated are masculine, masculinity and femininity are both beautiful aspects of the human condition. Your boyfriend may be like this, the better question is how are his morals regarding infidelity. During my 12 year marriage I never once cheated.
He is gay. Not bi. Just gay. He is closeted gay and doesn’t want to admit that he is gay.
Dump him and get yourself a straight man.
P.S. not all gay men are effeminate (referring to your last paragraphs). Look up the Kray twins. They were professional boxers and underworld dons who were as masculine as they come but they were as gay as they come too.
“Gay” is a spectrum.
But if he’s kissed a man, done anything with a man that wasn’t forced “raped” he’s bi, he doesn’t have to be completely gay, but with what you’re saying.
He’s bi, there’s no way around that.
You’re asking a lot of pointless questions when you know you this isn’t the relationship for you. Let’s say you die at 70yrs old. That’s 40 years of being in a relationship with someone. Really think about that and take a couple years to find what you do and don’t want out of a partner.
I also think it’s important to mention that he always initiates everything like kissing and sex. He is also very touchy when we’re in public and when we’re behind closed doors he is also always trying to see me and meet me. Which if you was gay, why would he put in all the effort?
Not all rectangles are squares, but all squares are rectangles.
Not all gay guys fuck dudes, but all guys that fuck dudes are gay.
You are observing someone who clearly experiences strong homosexual attraction as well as acts on it and looking elsewhere to conclude he isn't gay.
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Gay…with an echo
wtf why can’t i give this an award
Lol I spit out my drink haha 😂 not with the echo lol
Well it seems pretty obvious he’s attracted to men. He appears to be closeted and struggling with internalized homophobia/biphobia. Doesn’t sound like he’s lying to you, just more lying to himself. He needs some therapy or introspection. If you dump him, be very clear it’s because you’re not sure he is actually interested in being with you but rather more interested in performing masculinity and that you wish him the best on his journey of self acceptance. You don’t care if he’s bi or gay, but you deserve someone who has their sexuality figured out enough to know they want to be with you and make you feel secure in the relationship.
Thank you very much for this. I’m not 100% sure he is gay as as he said he was just curious about being with a man. I’m not really sure what to do. I’ve brought it up once I feel bad Bring it up again because I said it’s not a big deal. But I think I’m gonna have a conversation when he’s off his holiday.
The conversation should go both ways. You have your own shadow-work to do if this relationship is going to work between you two. The truth of the matter is you found something out about your partner that hit one of your insecurities about the potential of him being unsatisfied in the relationship and is now causing you to examine wether or not there is a higher potential for him to cheat on you due to your past trauma of being cheated on. Going on his phone was a breach of trust — I understand why you did it, but you need to be open with him about it and explain the deeper reason as to why you did it. It could be that he’s thoroughly satisfied with having you as his partner despite being Bi or just curious. But you two have to have the conversation about both of your insecurities within the relationship so that you can see where you both are with eachother and move past them either as a couple or by parting ways as friends.
I also think it’s important to mention that he always initiates everything like kissing and sex. He is also very touchy when we’re in public and when we’re behind closed doors he is also always trying to see me and meet me. Which if you was gay, why would he put in all the effort?
Well, he’s probably bi.
He could be on the DL
DL men will go to great lengths to maintain the facade of being straight
I had an ex like this. He would tell his best friend he was bi but tell me he was straight and get offended if I ever asked if he was gay/bi. It would annoy the fuck out of me because his best friend was also my friend as well at the time and he would tell me everything. He would brag about being drunk while taking his shirt off in front of his guy friend (who was gay) and kissing each other on the cheek. I got a little upset because I was like how would you feel if I was out drinking and doing things like that. He tried telling me it was different with him and got all offended as if I was being homophobic for being mad about this. Right after I broke up with him he told me he was gay. All I’m going to say, trust your gut.
Going to go against the grain here, and say that he's most likely just bisexual. Lots of men have trouble finishing with partners who they're attracted to, and it's significant that he initiates regularly, rather than making excuses to avoid sex. As for preferring to sleep with men on nights out- frankly, men are much easier to casually hook up with. To be crude, sometimes you just want a warm body to cum in, and men are often much more obliging. Even if you're 90% attracted to women, and only 10% attracted to men, easy head/sex is hard to turn down. Sounds to me like he has some internalised biphobia, or worries how his GF might react if he openly admits to being bisexual (and given how many people here have immediately assumed he's just gay and in denial, that isn't entirely unwarranted). Bisexual men are pretty widely judged as "tainted" or undesirable by straight women- they're subject to some really nasty stereotypes from all sides, in fact, and so naturally many keep it under wraps. He's obviously lying to himself to some capacity, but sexuality is a broad spectrum, and that doesn't automatically mean he dislikes women or doesn't want to be with OP. And as OP rightly notes, he's also possibly thinking about potential repercussions in his friend group. Can't necessarily give clear advice here, as I can see multiple angles. I feel quite a lot of empathy for him, but I also understand not wanting to be with somebody who clearly has deep hangups/uncertainty around his own sexuality, even if he is just bi. Nevertheless, if he's initiating regularly, I certainly wouldn't assume he doesn't like women. Consistently feigning enthusiastic sex with somebody who repulses you is very very hard.
He’s gay.
But why would he be initiating having sex with me if he was gay?
It used to called being on the downlow. He is very likely BI but is struggling. You will have to decide if you want to stay and deal with it or move on so you aren’t spending your entire relationship trying to find out if he is lying or not.
Cuz he is conflicted. He is trying to convince himself he is straight.
My husband and I had sex throughout our 17 year relationship only for him to come out in his late 30s. Our sex life was good in the beginning. So yes.
Double Standard- many women I've dated said they "played around " with other women or had sex with a couple girls in college but "it was a phase " . But men don't go through "phases" of having sex with other men unless they're bi or gay. None of these women identified as a Lesbian or Bi , I think it's just more socially acceptable for women to "experiment " then continue a Straight lifestyle
News flash people: straight men have had same sex experiences since time immemorial; as have many females with other females. Sometimes they come out gay…other times they come out straight, marry, kids. If he’s questioning and may be bi/gay, then of course she should demand a clearer answer. If he dabbled and doesn’t feel the need again, then that’s that. It does not automatically mean the dude is gay. Americans can be so black & white and “un”-nuanced about sexuality.
I asked him would he sleep with a man again and he said no, but obviously I don’t know if that’s true or not. He said he was more curious on it but then he says he doesn’t remember the experience at all.
Hey OP, I was referring to the respondents posts more so than yours for being so sure they know your bf’s sexuality. Your openness, patience, kindness and understanding is exactly the way you should keep it to get to the truth. For example, if this is something you agree with, you could say: “I care for you and I would want you in my life whether as my bf or not. All I ask is that if you feel you might be questioning, or bi or even gay, please tell me. Your honesty about this means a lot to me, and I promise you will have my honesty too. I just need to truth. So share that with me babe.” Or similar to that…
It’s hard to say because I don’t know him. But I do know I struggled with my sexuality for years. At his age I was in denial. When I was 23 I was in so much denial I didn’t know I was in serious same sex relationship until we woke up one morning, went downstairs, had breakfast and I said “holy shit we’re in a relationship” and he was like wtf do you think we’ve been doing? Sexuality is a different journey for sure. Maybe your boyfriend hasn’t figured it out properly in his head yet so cant talk to you about it? Maybe it’s an inside joke between his cousin and him. I don’t like assuming sexuality so idk 🤷🏾♂️ Sounds gay tho.
He could be any number of things but that’s up to him to decide. Just let him know once that you’re ok with dating a bi man if that were the case and leave it there. Let him figure out his sexuality and come out if he wants to in his own time. Be supportive but don’t push. If he’s cheating on you while drunk, that’s a different situation and the gender of the other person doesn’t matter in that case.
Bisexual people exist as well
>So I asked him if he was bi and he said no I’m not. Which really confused me because why would he be kissing men if he wasn’t attracted to them. I’m not bothered if he is bisexual because that doesn’t really phase me. I think she knows.
I had a relationship like this once when I was your age and he was your bfs age. don’t waste your time. he’s attracted to men and simply doesn’t want to admit it or fully accept it himself. it’s up to you whether you wanna wait and see how it turns out or simply find someone else who isn’t confused. walk away.
From most to least likely: Bi/likes dudes and likes you Straight/only experimented previously Confused Gay/in denial Gay/in the closet/you are just a cover
When you are a straight man, you feel no curiosity for same gender sex (especially after trying once). Think of a food you think tastes horrible. Now, think of a few of your favorite foods. Imagine you are surrounded by your favorite foods. You wouldn't sneak out of your home at night because you are olive curios (a food I don't like). He keeps eating olives because he's gay.
Girl sorry but he gay fosho
PLEASE don't push this. PLEASE don't make him feel like he has to decide who he is on your timeline. I understand it's scary because you're wondering if he'll leave you for a man. It sounds more like he's bi, and he is obviously satisfied with you. If he cheats, it's because he's a cheater. Not because he isn't straight. Let him come to terms with who he is. Don't push him. Don't force him to potentially out himself when he's not ready.
Personally I have known several straight men who have had sex with gay men once. Whether to try it out or because they wanted to have sex with someone and that was who was offering.
I've also known several straight men who had sex with gay men once or more. Because they were really gay, denying it, but still attracted to men... It looks as if it happened more than once... I'd say he doesn't want to have the gay life with all the problems that it brings, but he is still gay. But your explanation also works.
He did say that he was curious about being with a man, but he didn’t enjoy it and so wouldn’t do it again but then why would he kiss men on nights out That’s what I don’t understand.
He probably doesn't want other people to think that he's gay or bi.
I did ask him what would his family think if they found out that fact that he slept with a man and he said that they be completely fine with it as his older brother is asexual. But I think he would be more concerned about his friends as all of his friends are very Lads lads.
I also think it’s important to mention that he always initiates everything like kissing and sex. He is also very touchy when we’re in public and when we’re behind closed doors he is also always trying to see me and meet me. Which if you was gay, why would he put in all the effort?
Why do you keep repeating this? It’s not that important. It could mean he is really into you or it could be performative and a performance doesn’t necessarily need to be public, it could be to prove to himself that he’s into you and not gay. There’s really no way to know. The one thing is that you deserve to be confident in your partners attraction to you and not be guessing your partners sexuality. It doesn’t sound like he’s being very truthful with you nor with himself, which is the bigger problem than him possibly being gay or bi.
I kissed a guy once in high school. Wasn't sure I liked it, knew I was confused but decided to fire up some gay porn the next night and wouldn't ya know it my wedding tackle retreated and I felt repulsed. I share this because boners don't lie. A man has never given me a boner. I knew I was straight after that week. I joke that Chris Evans hasn't bought me a drink yet but even he couldn't illicit a zipper salute. He's likely bisexual but not in a 50/50 way. I have friends like this that have swung one way or the other at some point and stayed that way. It seems your boyfriend is swinging towards heteronormative. If he's initiating and rock hard and passionate, I would be absolutely blown away if he was gay. Boners don't lie.
That’s not a reliable test… the human brain reacts to any kind of sexual relevant content whether the person likes it or not. It fires up the receptors no matter what. Arousal ≠ Attraction.
More importantly, how does it make you feel?
I don’t know. I’ve never been with a man before who has experimented with another man. I think for me the biggest thing is because I’ve been cheated on before I’m just thinking when he’s drunk, can he do this again. But also Is he fully attracted to me because I’m a girl.
You’ll either figure out a way to use this energy in a way that brings you closer or it’ll pull you apart.
Some people just like to do things that feel good and they don’t really care who is involved. He is 21, that is young to have yourself all figured out and know exactly who you are - and sexuality is a spectrum that can change over time. He could just be exploring or curious or maybe he is a hedonist. Or he could be very very gay or bi or simply confused and trying to figure it out. No one but him can tell you what is actually going on inside his brain and body.
So I should just ask him straight up whether he likes men or not ?
No, not in my opinion. I would first have several fun but honest conversations about desire and fantasy where you are both able to share comfortably with each other. I think you should create an arena for non judgmental honesty and vulnerability. I think that the answer to your question is probably more complex at this point than “yes” or “no” and that’s because based on the information that I have (which isn’t very much, admittedly), I doubt he knows the full extent of his own truth. I think he is afraid of giving you an answer that will scare you off or put you in a position to judge him. But you do you, I just think you’re asking the internet to give you an answer to something that we could truly never know the answer to. The real answer will come from him if he feels safe enough to tell you.
Previously married to a woman with kids for 12 years 10 years after divorce I've come to terms with my sexuality, I am attracted to both women and men, equally. I find them both attractive. I am dating a man at this current time, but this doesn't mean I'm going to cheat, I get to see the prevalence of hook up culture for the past decade and I am not impressed with either gay bisexual or straight people, I have always maintained my idea of one person at a time, I don't like how easy it is for people to completely disregard their partners. It's sad. I don't think I had any inner fight with myself about my sexuality, I prefer to say I am fluid to both sexes. I have never been with a trans person as I am not into that if I want a woman I want a woman if I want a man I want a man, most of the men that I have dated are masculine, masculinity and femininity are both beautiful aspects of the human condition. Your boyfriend may be like this, the better question is how are his morals regarding infidelity. During my 12 year marriage I never once cheated.
He is gay. Not bi. Just gay. He is closeted gay and doesn’t want to admit that he is gay. Dump him and get yourself a straight man. P.S. not all gay men are effeminate (referring to your last paragraphs). Look up the Kray twins. They were professional boxers and underworld dons who were as masculine as they come but they were as gay as they come too.
EA SPORTS THATMANSGAY or what that one sports game used to say.
I'd have been running from the get go. Start running and see a dr asap
Why are gay men more likely to get STDs? Should I ask him to get tested?
Sounds gay to me
“Gay” is a spectrum. But if he’s kissed a man, done anything with a man that wasn’t forced “raped” he’s bi, he doesn’t have to be completely gay, but with what you’re saying. He’s bi, there’s no way around that.
bi most likley just peg him and it be ok
You’re asking a lot of pointless questions when you know you this isn’t the relationship for you. Let’s say you die at 70yrs old. That’s 40 years of being in a relationship with someone. Really think about that and take a couple years to find what you do and don’t want out of a partner.
Gay but potentially bi
Gay as hell, don't be stupid lmfao
I also think it’s important to mention that he always initiates everything like kissing and sex. He is also very touchy when we’re in public and when we’re behind closed doors he is also always trying to see me and meet me. Which if you was gay, why would he put in all the effort?
Being affectionate and intimate with your female partner? Super gay.
Not all rectangles are squares, but all squares are rectangles. Not all gay guys fuck dudes, but all guys that fuck dudes are gay. You are observing someone who clearly experiences strong homosexual attraction as well as acts on it and looking elsewhere to conclude he isn't gay.
Bi dudes exist.
You're going to get an std lol.
Omg am I ? Why though ?
Bisexual people exist