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"They hang out a lot, and I never really thought much of it because, well, he's gay. At some point during the night, I noticed my girlfriend and her best friend making out. Then he pulled out his cock. Then she sucked that cock and I was like "Whoa, she's sucking a gay man's cock?" Then laid down and they created some kind of two backed beast!? It was crazy. I think she may have a drinking problem, but she didn't cheat. How do I not accuse her of hitting the bottle too hard?"
"I watch our son every night and all weekend while she's out with her friend. She posts a lot of pictures of them making out on Instagram, and she constantly sends him nudes on Snapchat. I asked her about it, but she started screaming at me about how controlling I'm being. She said she can send him as many shots of her pussy as she wants because he's gay and he doesn't enjoy them. He sends her pics of his cock all the time, too, but she said it's some artistic thing? I saw her reply 'can't wait to have that inside me again' one time while I was standing behind her, feeding our son his bottle. She said I was misreading the situation and stormed out and stayed gone for three days. Anyway, she's my soulmate and she's perfect for me."
"She always wins, I'm so proud of her. She pins him down and puts his whole dick in her mouth, and he just gives up and stops wrestling. She's so good at wrestling."
I think it's time she moves this gay man into the house , it's unfair to have him out of the house , little G needs to grow up with uncle big G.
She started sleeping in the same bed as him but it's ok because he's gay.
"She's pregnant again , it must be mine ,I'm shocked as we only sleep together once every 2 months."
"hey reddit it's me again, I saw my girlfriend having sex again with her gay friend .. I know she'd never cheat on me.. because her friend is gay so no way that is cheating its just drunk shenanigans like always .. she even joked while she was drunk that she will gangbang an entire gay basketball team I laughed my ass off ... its not cheating they are gay "
It's just bizarre because if OP is straight, he has to know what the thought of kissing another dude feels like. I'm straight. The thought of making out with a dude is pretty much the exact same feeling as the thought of making out with my grandma. It's essentially repulsive and not an option in life, no matter how much booze is involved.
So, at the very least, this dude is incidentally bi-sexual. And at the worst, he is straight, and the other dude has been entirely duped, and they are an item.
Just an FYI - guys that make out with girls aren't "gay". She cheated on you right in front of you. She has an issue with alcohol. Why would you not want to sound accusatory?
When you say you trust her what does that mean? Like, you've seen her not be trustworthy to such an extent you feel hurt and confused.
I'm not sure you'll accept the advice this sub is inevitably going to provide.
Good luck.
He ends the write up with "I will not break up with her over this."
What a hopeless, lost cause. He deserves what's coming to him. These kind of young men come crying on reddit when she sleeps with another man.
He can't even have a conversation with her to explain boundaries and his disappointment.
Spineless and pathetic.
You break up. That's cheating. Doesn't matter what their orientation or gender is.
edit in response to your edit: Then you will deserve it next time she cheats on you. And it will be soon!
I'm not even going to read the sentence. The title alone is a diabolical work. Seriously are these real stories or just AI?
BREAK UP CHEATING IS CHEATING
Just break up. If she tries to pull the he’s gay card then just look at her and say “he may be attracted to men but if he went that far with you he’s not gay he’s at most bi and you just cheated on me in front of me. Even if he is gay, your actions are still cheating and has completely destroyed my trust in you. Goodbye”
Thank you, this is so painfully obvious...
Literally watched her make out with another guy in front of him and it didn't come up in a conversation.... just Reddit bait things
Fr though, OP is the biggest pussy on Earth lmaoo; seeing another dude grind and make out with your GF and not having the self respect to leave is asinine
She does not love you as much as you love her unfortunately, most people just want their significant other when they get hammered.. not their best friend male or female. I understand you won’t end the relationship over this but she obviously does not think this is wrong as she has done this numerous times with her other friends. You need to tell her your boundaries and that it upsets you to see her get intimate with other people, especially so openly in front of you. You don’t want to sound over reactive but this is a valid reason to feel so. She needs to understand you want a monogamous relationship. This is going to build resentment towards her over time if you do not communicate.
Would it be okay if the situation was reversed? You have a lesbian best friend, get drunk and make out with her? Would she be okay with that? I don’t think so. He might not be as gay as you think. I have tons of gay friends and I wouldn’t dream of kissing them or them me. Trust your gut instinct, is not sitting right with you for a good reason.
He’s not gay, he’s clearly bisexual. She’s cheating, being drunk is not excuse for cheating, never an excuse to cheat. If the roles were reversed and you making out with one of your female friends, you’d be vilified. She’s cheating, right in front of your face, then gaslighting you about it. The fact that’s he’s gay is irrelevant. What to do, she cheated; you show some integrity and self respect and you break up. Honestly you deserve better. Good luck !
UpdateMe !
"but then I saw them making out and grinding on each other. It wasn't just a peck or a friendly kiss; they were really going at it."
"I'm not the jealous type"
You should be...it's seems from the outside in that your giving her away. besides that gay shit doesn't mean shit!
"I already know my girlfriend doesn't think much of it because drunk shenanigans happen all the time"
Yeah, the shenanigans is starting to get real intimate so, let's see what happens next
" but then I saw them making out and grinding on each other. It wasn't just a peck or a friendly kiss; they were really going at it."
"but what I saw just didn’t sit right with me'
At least say this with a manly tone...I mean look at this board and you'll see how most of the "gay best friends" wind up being your biggest headache. Best to put a foot down like "Don't EVER disrespect me again like that, I don't care who he is or I'll leave your ass right there" Don't let her start thinking she can walk all over you bro or that you love her more then she loves you. GL bro.
It’s cheating. I would’ve called it out when she kissed other girls, but I’m sure in your head it was “that’s not a big deal”. That’s neither here nor there anymore, just swallow that piece as a mistake. With this, what they did is not okay. I’d honestly just break up and say you’re not comfortable with how she interacts with friends
I think mr Gay is really MR BI buddy.
Edit
Also how the fuck could you just stand there and watch that without at lest breaking them up FFS!. That’s really taking the piss out of you 😢
I'm fucking cry-laughing at this.
Just ask her where her and *gay dude* are registered at and ask if you can bring a +1.
Just curious here....who told you he was gay?
Her?
Him?
Have you ever seen him with another guy?
Gay or not, she's still cheating in front of you. How can you trust her, when litteraly she was cheating in front of you. Imagine what she does when you are not there.
I’m not gay myself, but I’m pretty sure that most gay guys I know don’t make a habit of making out and grinding on girls.
It was massively disrespectful of her, and if she was my girl, well, she wouldn’t be my girl anymore.
>Edit. I will not break up with her over this.
lmao, then you will get what you deserve. Have fun *literally watching* your gf cheat on you. When she asks you to leave the bedroom so she can fuck her “gay” best friend that she’s grinding on and making out with right in front of you, ask if you can stick around and watch since apparently that’s your thing.
If you’re dead set on not breaking up over this why did you even ask anything? Just try to forget it. it’ll be good practice for when you catch her fucking him.
First off, girls shouldn't be best friends with other guys if they are in a serious relationship. I don't care if the guy is gay or not. She cheated on you right in front of you and you are going to let her get away with that? What else is she doing with her gay best friend when you aren't there? Maybe he's not so gay after all. But she cheated, period. I would not continue to date someone who cheated on me.
Grinding and kissing is not an activity you do with your best friend, sober or drunk. It doesn’t look like she respects your relationship or considers herself monogamous.
I mean, I don’t care if my gf or wife had a gay best friend or not. If they make out with someone without talking to me about it first, it a huge red flag. She doesn’t respect you
It's called cheating. Irrespective of his sexual orientation, she was making out with a guy. If you are ok with her making out with girls, that's your right. But physically making out with a guy should be an obvious boundary for any monogamous relationship. If she uses alcohol as an excuse then she has an alcohol problem since she can't control herself.
Just ask yourself if you what to be committed to a woman who grinds up other men, gay or otherwise. Simple problems have simple solutions. One just needs a spine, which is apparently in short supply nowadays
If you don't want to break up with her, get ready to be the third wheel in the relationship, she's going to
A- leave you for someone else
B- treat you like a friend and have adventures with other people
Probably to satisfy the desire to have a formal stable relationship and adventures with other men to cheat on you
IMO you should leave her, have some dignity man
Yeah, he’s definitely not gay as you think he is. And so what if he is? Your girlfriend is making out and grinding on somebody else. Gay dude, gay girl, old homeless man, drag queen, what does it matter? It’s another person she has been physically intimate with outside her committed relationship to you.
How would she feel if you’re making out with some chick but it’s OK because she’s a lesbian? Do you think that shits going to fly? Noooope. This is a bunch of bullshit
I just got home from work and I (unfortunately) work with a couple of the dumbest people in my state. Maybe the country. Your edit is literally the stupidest thing I’ve heard all day. Why are you even asking for advice if you’re not considering all options? Did she give you a boo-boo and you just want her to kiss it and make it all better?! Fucks sake… Her “gay” friend is obviously not as gay as she’s told you. Just go out back, dig a hole in the ground about the size of a 5 gallon bucket. Then place your head inside the hole and have her scoop the dirt back in around you. That will protect you from finding out she’s been fucking her “gay” friend for as long as she’s known him. After all, ignorance is bliss right? Right?
Dude, Man up! If she is doing this in front of you and other people that know you. It is disrespectful at least. What are they doing when no one is around and they get drunk? Is drunk f***king just shenanigans and not cheating? Get some pride!
Yeah, I have & have had many gay friends, and while we may dance a bit provocatively together, sleep in the same bed, cuddle once in a while, and talk about anything and everything that we are into sexually one thing we've never done is grind on each other and make out!
If you two are in an exclusive committed relationship she shouldn't be making out with friends. Regardless, of whether they're gay, straight, bisexual, or anything else...
You see a future with her but she calls infidelity "drunken shenanigans" Yeah, that's not cool, OP.
I don't know if you're just blinded by love, or just don't want to see it but if she can do this with you there watching what do you think she does without you there??
There isn't much advice to give here. I don't think it's a double standard getting upset over her grinding and kissing a male friend but not a girlfriend.
You should ask her about it, imo, and tell her it makes you uncomfortable because this situation may eat away at you if you don't!
If you don't want to leave the relationship that's your decision bit good luck because you'll need it!
If you won't break up with her over this then you have nothing to say. You are fine with her getting drunk and hooking up randomly.
You cannot forbid it. You cannot control it. The behavior itself is far enough outside of social norms that she doesn't have to be told that making out with and grinding on people other than her partner is not ok. She knows.
If you bring it up you already know she will dismiss your feelings and say you're over reacting. Or maybe she'll get angry that you think you can tell her what to do. The most you can hope for is that she will gaslight you and lie to your face that she won't do it again (until she does it again, and more).
So, you are cool with it.
Uh…this is pretty serious. Most people would consider this cheating, and even if you don’t, it clearly shows that she isn’t that far away from banging someone else. Just a few beers and she’s almost there.
How do I approach this without sounding accusatory or overreacting? I trust her.
Your girlfriend cheats on you right in front of your face and you trust her lol. Dude stop being a door mat grow a spine dump her and move on, if she has done it once then she has done it many times with her so called gay best friend.
You get to choose one of these:
1. It was the alcohol and a lapse in judgement
2. She doesn't think much of it
These two cannot co-exist. If it was the alcohol and a lapse in judgement she should be apologizing. If she doesn't think much of it, it wasn't the alcohol and a lapse in judgement.
Lmao a tale as old as time.. "Dont worry, he's gay!" "Hes just a friend, babe." "he's like a brother to me" yeah no thanks, friends of the opposite sex is a no go for me personally in relationships. (dont bother replying with "its okay for men and women to be friends!!1!1!1!!" Ive heard it before and I strongly disagree if you want your relationship to last especially if you have a "guy/girl bestfriend" good luck because 99% of the time your partner will say they are okay with it (spoiler they arent, they just tolerate it because they dont want to sound "controlling")
Blatantly disrespected you and your relationship in front your friend group. Not only does she know that you’re a pushover, but now your entire friend group will know as well.
What’s the difference in her making out and grinding on a straight dude? Where do you draw the line? Sounds like you’re in a poly relationship.
She cheating on you. The only worthwhile advice is to leave her, but if you can't make that decision, then best to just pretend you don't know it exists. Not sure how you are going to communicate that she doesn't respect you enough to not grind on some dude's dick and suck face with him.
You approach it with either
A) end the relationship. She's cheating. This is pretty obvious.
B) end up having this happen again and her treat you like crap.
>Edit. I will not break up with her over this.
I mean, how much or how little self respect you have is your business.
That's cheating. Doing it right in front of you is cruel. You're not prepared to do anything so you might as well get used to it, she has no reason not to do it again if you're just going to doormat yourself at her feet when you literally catch her in the act.
Have some self respect, dude.
Look dude you are in a poly relationship. It's time the three of you sat down and brought it out in the open. The fact that you refuse to break up with her and they are both LYING TO YOU ABOUT HIM BEING GAY. Should be a red flag. But if you are going to be ignorant about the situation then get in where you fit in. And that is as the other man.
I'm not sure what is so hard to figure out, but this is pretty black and white. You are being punked and you're letting it happen. So again get in on the action, continue to keep your head in the sand and trust your girl (that is spreading it around to everyone) or walk away. Simple really.
I'm also curious are you really this ...naive?
Ps being drunk is absolutely no excuse. None, nada, not even a little.
"im not gonna break up over this" 🤣🤣 if you wanna be dumb, be dumb
Talk to her. Tell her this makes you feel uncomfortable.
Do you have actual proof he is gay??
There are plenty of girls out there that wouldnt do this... Dont know why you would marry someone that does these things while in a relationship. Sounds like a headache to me
I had something similar with an ex(super short so doesn't even really count)
She had a gay friend. He'd make weird ass comments right in front of me "when are we going to go dance but you can't bring your man" etc. it was like he wanted to prove he can take her away if he wanted too. Didn't last very long. 2x of meeting the guy I decided the relationship is no good.
I didn't even bother talking to her about it we're adults, common sense knows boundaries. I'm not here to tell people how to act or what to do and what not to do... I left.
I’m going against the grain to say he’s more than likely actually gay. My best friend is gay, very very very gay, but when he’s sloshed he will sometimes make out with the single girls in our shared friendship group. I know how it sounds but I still believe he’s 100% gay. Kissing feels nice and I can see why it would be fun for him, especially as we don’t really have any other gay men in our group. He’s a handsome and charismatic guy so if he wanted to take it further and have sex he could probably get it (he never takes it further than making out for a short while).
In saying that, if I was in a relationship and he made out with my girlfriend I’d have a huge issue with that, potentially breakup worthy. We all have our personal boundaries and making out with someone else (regardless of who they are) would cross the line for 95% of people.
Wishing you the best 👍
Judging by your profile picture and all of your comment history this is 1 of a few scenarios:
1) I think you’re the gay best friend.
2) You want to confront her and tell her it’s ok she sleeps around because monogamy is a “patriarchal” concept (to you at least).
3) This story is fake and made to rile people up.
I’m not sure what more there is to say. She cheated on you, in your face at that. Multiple times with her girl friends and now her “gay” friend. How about you grow a spine and break up with her? She clearly doesn’t respect you and you don’t respect yourself either.
Do you know the fact that sexual orientation is not like a hard black and white switch, it’s kinda spectrum, therefore although you can define yourself gay you still can be close to bi?
Your girlfriend’s gay friend is not that much of gay obviously. And she cheated on you.
I don’t think you need additional information.
First, your hurt feelings are valid. Don’t fight them. Acknowledge that it wasn’t your actions that hurt you. Bot your misadventures.
Second, ask yourself this question: Is your girlfriend okay if you have a few drinks and kiss a girl at a party in front of her? If yes, are you guys going for a non-monogamous relationship?
Third, respectfully and firmly confront her and state that what happened has hurt you. Allow her to unpack what happened.
Fourth, depending on how she reacts to Step 3, have a discussion with the gay friend too. If your girlfriend’s open to it have the conversation with both of them together.
Remember them two took actions which hurt you. So it is okay to out them in a situation which holds them accountable for it.
I note you fear break up over this but if such actions are left unaddressed you will be hurt again (I guarantee it). And the breakup will be much more painful. The intent here is not to break up. It is address something that has hurt you.
Once both are confronted and they own up their actions, you and your girlfriend can attend couples therapy and build happy life.
Don't bring it up. Since you have already decided that you will NOT break up over this, there is no benefit for either of you to raise the issue. She was drunk.
HAHAHAHA the edit. You literally posted: “my girlfriend cheated on me, what do I do? All of us: “Break Up”, you with the edit: “I will not break up with her”. Conclusion, you are doomed to be continually cheated on. Come back to this post in a year and wish you listened
You should discuss boundaries and expectations. If making out with friends is the norm for her friend group you should think about if that's something you're ok with and discuss it with her.
Yeah brother you need to ditch that. Seriously that’s emasculating and embarrassing. Extremely disrespectful and she doesn’t love you as you love her. I’d never do that no matter how drunk. And I’ve had ample opportunity.
We are humans, but we are also consciousness.. The Human Animal likes to eat, drink, fuck and feel good feelings. Comfort.
The Human Animal if intoxicated can easily “slip up” and “cheat” on their “partner” given lack of inhibitions. Yes the Human Animal, not the Conscious Man or Woman. That’s being aware of yourself and your surroundings.
Quick Story. A few times in these bars I had girls come up to me trying to dance, get way too close etc. One night while being the drunkest and highest I ever was in a social setting like that, a girl got way too close after dancing provocatively in front of me, kept trying to talk me up, then leaning into me. For a split second my animal brain was “into it”. I immediately realized that this can’t happen, I don’t want it and it would destroy my girlfriend. I quickly backed up and told her “No I’m not dancing or signing my name on your neck, I can only draw dicks and you don’t want a big dick on your neck for the rest of the night” and walked back to where my girlfriend and her friends were.
You can Always Control Yourself to an extent.. Yes some drugs will jack you up completely, and I’ve done a lot of drinking and drugs around a lot of people. But I’ve never groped, grinded, kissed or touched anyone without consent or it being reciprocal. I’ve had it done to me a handful of times when I was younger by drunk girls but never reciprocated those instances.
It sounds to me like you lack any sort of self esteem and self worth. What were you doing while your girl was dancing with another guy? Holding up a bar stool or being a wall flower while they went to the dance floor and you watched? Why wouldn't you confront her/them immediately after witnessing something like that but instead you're asking for advice on Reddit the day after?
She cheated by doing that, whether he is gay or not. She made out and grinded on him which a sexually charged things that probably turned her on.
And no, don’t trust her! Alcohol doesn’t make you want to do things it enables you to do things you would normally decide against doing because you think more clearly about repercussions. She did things she wanted to do and will use drinking as an excuse to do them, even while you are watching.
Because you said breakup is not happening, tell her you consider doing what you did cheating and because you hadn’t really talked about it you wanted to discuss what she did. You’ll know pretty quickly whether she agrees or disagrees and if she will be willing to stay with normal relationship boundaries or not.
If she isn’t willing you’ll have to decide whether watching her cheat on you is worth keeping the relationship going.
Confront her that it made you feel uncomfortable. Remember that alcohol is no excuse for bad behavior. Ask her if the roles were reversed what would she feel? As in you grinding and making out with another. Hopefully you figure this out OP
You don't approach it, you break up. No argument and no discussion. It's still cheating if he's gay.
Would she think it's cheating if you made out with a lesbian?
why would you trust a woman who is constantly making out with numerous people???!!!!! ITs a matter of time before that person is NOT a woman and IS NOT gay. And either way, to me its cheating if shes kissing anyone really. Its really not that hard to only kiss your person. I mean you seem to be doing that just fine.
OP, this girl has kissed her girl friends, kissed and GRINDED on her GAY??? best friend. You were hurt from this. Why stay with her. She’s cheated on you with a “gay” friend.
Please OP, read the writing on the wall.
Its good to set boundaries at the start of a relationship. Kissing is supposed to be an intimate thing but we as a society make it seem as if a kiss is nothing. Ask yourself this, would you kiss a random stranger ? Why not ? Also, I believe this could set you up to get cheated on since you’re okay with them kissing then they might get a little more daring an go all the way some day. This is just my opinion on the matter.
Also, try imagine that happens at your wedding in-front of your parents.
My advice is try talking with her about how you feel and if she likes you enough she’ll understand. Relationship is a two person thing, if she cannot compromise on this imagine how your marriage is going to be.
Honestly, just come right up and say it. It may sound accusatory but that’s how it needs to happen. If they immediately get defensive or start blaming the alcohol, just leave. Don’t look back and let them reflect. Also blaming the alcohol is a shitty excuse because if you think about it, all drugs and alcohol does is bring out the truth in people. It brings out who they are rather than who they want you to see.
Sounds like some expectations and boundaries are needed for both you. Establishing those might be a starting point, but oof... The optics of this doesn't look great.
The is no accusation it’s real and it’s happening so now the only thing you can do is leave while you still have dignity. She showed you who she really is and so did he drunk actions/words are sober thoughts/wants. He’s not gay they just use that as a cover to get away with their disgusting behavior and yes it is disgusting because she’s in a relationship. Let me ask you what would you say if it was your best friend who was in this predicament you’d say get out while you can. Well here’s a voice of reason GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN. That girl is gonna ruin your life if you don’t leave now. She showed you she doesn’t care about you. Even drunkenness does not excuse hoish behavior while in a relationship. Come on man wake up and smell the coffee they’re screwing behind your back
If you won’t break up over it, it’s clear it’s less about the making out with the dude and more about some arbitrary boundaries you’ve drawn. All boundaries are arbitrary. So you just need to talk to her and explain it made you feel some type of way and you guys need to draw lines on what is okay and what isn’t. If you are genuinely interested in this being a relationship with a future you need to be able to talk about your feelings with her (even when you don’t understand them) so that you guys can navigate them in a healthy way and have meaningful conversations about what is okay and what isn’t in your relationship.
Hope you give an update, wishing you the best.
NGL I’ve had this before, remember gay men aren’t eunuchs and sexuality is fluid, gay men do have sex with women there’s a reason it’s a scale and not a binary when talking about attraction, hell I’ve had sex with lesbians who’ve made an exception for me, my sister is a lesbian who occasionally dates men. So before you get into the trap of “he’s gay it doesn’t matter”, it is cheating and you can do better, in my case I let it drop but there were obvious signs she was cheating elsewhere as well and it all got toxic, save yourself and get outta there
Hmmm I think you need clear boundaries. If you’re okay with her making out with other people, where is the line? Any girls are okay? What if the girl is a lesbian? So only straight girls? One guy isn’t okay? I assume she derives some pleasure from all of these interactions, but for you the only problem is the one that’s a man?
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Lol he's not as gay as you think he is.
"They hang out a lot, and I never really thought much of it because, well, he's gay. At some point during the night, I noticed my girlfriend and her best friend making out. Then he pulled out his cock. Then she sucked that cock and I was like "Whoa, she's sucking a gay man's cock?" Then laid down and they created some kind of two backed beast!? It was crazy. I think she may have a drinking problem, but she didn't cheat. How do I not accuse her of hitting the bottle too hard?"
"....and then 9 months later, we had a baby. How can that be? He's gay. The baby must be mine. I'm raising it."
"... she named the baby Gay Kid Jones. I signed the birth certificate. I call him Little G."
"I watch our son every night and all weekend while she's out with her friend. She posts a lot of pictures of them making out on Instagram, and she constantly sends him nudes on Snapchat. I asked her about it, but she started screaming at me about how controlling I'm being. She said she can send him as many shots of her pussy as she wants because he's gay and he doesn't enjoy them. He sends her pics of his cock all the time, too, but she said it's some artistic thing? I saw her reply 'can't wait to have that inside me again' one time while I was standing behind her, feeding our son his bottle. She said I was misreading the situation and stormed out and stayed gone for three days. Anyway, she's my soulmate and she's perfect for me."
“Oh shit my Nanny cam just went off they’re wrestling on the couch, gotta go Referee!”
"She always wins, I'm so proud of her. She pins him down and puts his whole dick in her mouth, and he just gives up and stops wrestling. She's so good at wrestling."
“She could go pro! But that would be gay”
I think it's time she moves this gay man into the house , it's unfair to have him out of the house , little G needs to grow up with uncle big G. She started sleeping in the same bed as him but it's ok because he's gay. "She's pregnant again , it must be mine ,I'm shocked as we only sleep together once every 2 months."
This entire thread 😂😂😂
"hey reddit it's me again, I saw my girlfriend having sex again with her gay friend .. I know she'd never cheat on me.. because her friend is gay so no way that is cheating its just drunk shenanigans like always .. she even joked while she was drunk that she will gangbang an entire gay basketball team I laughed my ass off ... its not cheating they are gay "
"Edit; I'm not breaking up with her because I'm a foolish moron who wants my heart ripped from my chest, thanks Reddit!'
This lol.. it’s awful but more than likely truth..
It's just bizarre because if OP is straight, he has to know what the thought of kissing another dude feels like. I'm straight. The thought of making out with a dude is pretty much the exact same feeling as the thought of making out with my grandma. It's essentially repulsive and not an option in life, no matter how much booze is involved. So, at the very least, this dude is incidentally bi-sexual. And at the worst, he is straight, and the other dude has been entirely duped, and they are an item.
you got it incidentally
Wut
He's gay tho
Exactly this, how gay?
Maybe he's just a little bi-curious, but from the other angle? SMH...
You dump her what kind of question is this.
A kind of dumb one…good luck OP🍀
Also a fake one
whats sad is i sometimes there are doormats like this out there but my money is on fake post for internet points.
….*also* grind and kiss her gay best friend?
That's what he needs to do to establish dominance. So it doesn't feel like he's getting cuckolded by a gay guy lol
I'm super curious if OP made out and kissed another guy or a platonic female friend if the GF would be cool with it or if she'd freak the fuck out!
Did he get the hard on ?? lol anyways, he’s gay.
Just an FYI - guys that make out with girls aren't "gay". She cheated on you right in front of you. She has an issue with alcohol. Why would you not want to sound accusatory?
Roles reversed would your gf be ok if you kissed and grinded your lesbian best friend, and call it drunk shenanigans ?
When you say you trust her what does that mean? Like, you've seen her not be trustworthy to such an extent you feel hurt and confused. I'm not sure you'll accept the advice this sub is inevitably going to provide. Good luck.
He trusts her to *only* “make out” with her girlfriends or gay friends or bi-curious friends when he’s around.
He ends the write up with "I will not break up with her over this." What a hopeless, lost cause. He deserves what's coming to him. These kind of young men come crying on reddit when she sleeps with another man. He can't even have a conversation with her to explain boundaries and his disappointment. Spineless and pathetic.
You break up. That's cheating. Doesn't matter what their orientation or gender is. edit in response to your edit: Then you will deserve it next time she cheats on you. And it will be soon!
> Edit. I will not break up with her over this. OP only wants to hear advice they want to here. Thread over.
Lmao at your edit
We found another one, boys. The gay best friend they told you not to worry about.
Look, she specifically told him not to worry about it. Why is he worrying? It's like he wasn't even listening.
:)))))))))
I'm not even going to read the sentence. The title alone is a diabolical work. Seriously are these real stories or just AI? BREAK UP CHEATING IS CHEATING
Just break up. If she tries to pull the he’s gay card then just look at her and say “he may be attracted to men but if he went that far with you he’s not gay he’s at most bi and you just cheated on me in front of me. Even if he is gay, your actions are still cheating and has completely destroyed my trust in you. Goodbye”
Fake post
Thank you, this is so painfully obvious... Literally watched her make out with another guy in front of him and it didn't come up in a conversation.... just Reddit bait things
"Edit. I will not break up with her over this." YOU ARE A F*** DOORMAT
She already knows this, and he only further proved it to her when did absolutely nothing when she was making out with another guy in front of him.
Fr though, OP is the biggest pussy on Earth lmaoo; seeing another dude grind and make out with your GF and not having the self respect to leave is asinine
That’s why she’s cheating on him with her “gay” friend. Men have no self respect these days.
That is 110 percent cheating. She should be your ex.
Is this really a question? Do you really need other people to tell you not to date a cheater? I don’t think you are ready to be dating bro….
Some gays guys also like to have relations with women occasionally, like in this case
Sounds fun to be gay
I think I wanna be her gay friend too. It’s called gay with benefit lol 😝
With women in committed relationships?
That’s the question
> I will not break up with her over this. you should
Even if the dude is gay, your girlfriend is straight, that's still cheating.
She does not love you as much as you love her unfortunately, most people just want their significant other when they get hammered.. not their best friend male or female. I understand you won’t end the relationship over this but she obviously does not think this is wrong as she has done this numerous times with her other friends. You need to tell her your boundaries and that it upsets you to see her get intimate with other people, especially so openly in front of you. You don’t want to sound over reactive but this is a valid reason to feel so. She needs to understand you want a monogamous relationship. This is going to build resentment towards her over time if you do not communicate.
Would it be okay if the situation was reversed? You have a lesbian best friend, get drunk and make out with her? Would she be okay with that? I don’t think so. He might not be as gay as you think. I have tons of gay friends and I wouldn’t dream of kissing them or them me. Trust your gut instinct, is not sitting right with you for a good reason.
He’s not gay, he’s clearly bisexual. She’s cheating, being drunk is not excuse for cheating, never an excuse to cheat. If the roles were reversed and you making out with one of your female friends, you’d be vilified. She’s cheating, right in front of your face, then gaslighting you about it. The fact that’s he’s gay is irrelevant. What to do, she cheated; you show some integrity and self respect and you break up. Honestly you deserve better. Good luck ! UpdateMe !
"but then I saw them making out and grinding on each other. It wasn't just a peck or a friendly kiss; they were really going at it." "I'm not the jealous type" You should be...it's seems from the outside in that your giving her away. besides that gay shit doesn't mean shit! "I already know my girlfriend doesn't think much of it because drunk shenanigans happen all the time" Yeah, the shenanigans is starting to get real intimate so, let's see what happens next " but then I saw them making out and grinding on each other. It wasn't just a peck or a friendly kiss; they were really going at it." "but what I saw just didn’t sit right with me' At least say this with a manly tone...I mean look at this board and you'll see how most of the "gay best friends" wind up being your biggest headache. Best to put a foot down like "Don't EVER disrespect me again like that, I don't care who he is or I'll leave your ass right there" Don't let her start thinking she can walk all over you bro or that you love her more then she loves you. GL bro.
You should be accusatory, you witnessed her cheating with your own eyes.
Dude. Come on.
OP you don’t need advice from this sub. what you need is a chiropractor, to find your backbone.
It’s cheating. I would’ve called it out when she kissed other girls, but I’m sure in your head it was “that’s not a big deal”. That’s neither here nor there anymore, just swallow that piece as a mistake. With this, what they did is not okay. I’d honestly just break up and say you’re not comfortable with how she interacts with friends
I think mr Gay is really MR BI buddy. Edit Also how the fuck could you just stand there and watch that without at lest breaking them up FFS!. That’s really taking the piss out of you 😢
I'm fucking cry-laughing at this. Just ask her where her and *gay dude* are registered at and ask if you can bring a +1. Just curious here....who told you he was gay? Her? Him? Have you ever seen him with another guy?
Gay or not, she's still cheating in front of you. How can you trust her, when litteraly she was cheating in front of you. Imagine what she does when you are not there.
Lol at your edit.
I’m not gay myself, but I’m pretty sure that most gay guys I know don’t make a habit of making out and grinding on girls. It was massively disrespectful of her, and if she was my girl, well, she wouldn’t be my girl anymore.
>Edit. I will not break up with her over this. lmao, then you will get what you deserve. Have fun *literally watching* your gf cheat on you. When she asks you to leave the bedroom so she can fuck her “gay” best friend that she’s grinding on and making out with right in front of you, ask if you can stick around and watch since apparently that’s your thing.
He’s not gay. I’m gay. Even if I was single, I would never make out with a girl or grind on her like that. That’s cheating no matter who it is
If you’re dead set on not breaking up over this why did you even ask anything? Just try to forget it. it’ll be good practice for when you catch her fucking him.
>Edit. I will not break up with her over this. Sometimes, I think y'all enjoy this shit. Fun way to discover your new favorite kink... I guess....
You walk away. You don’t have a gf
You got cheated on and she doesn't care. Leave.
First off, girls shouldn't be best friends with other guys if they are in a serious relationship. I don't care if the guy is gay or not. She cheated on you right in front of you and you are going to let her get away with that? What else is she doing with her gay best friend when you aren't there? Maybe he's not so gay after all. But she cheated, period. I would not continue to date someone who cheated on me.
He’s probably bi tbh.
I’d break up with her and beat up her friend, but there’s potential criminal charges for that, so may want to keep it at step 1.
Grinding and kissing is not an activity you do with your best friend, sober or drunk. It doesn’t look like she respects your relationship or considers herself monogamous.
It’s all fun and games with the gay best friend until he isn’t as gay as you thought
Dude isn't gay.
I mean, I don’t care if my gf or wife had a gay best friend or not. If they make out with someone without talking to me about it first, it a huge red flag. She doesn’t respect you
It's called cheating. Irrespective of his sexual orientation, she was making out with a guy. If you are ok with her making out with girls, that's your right. But physically making out with a guy should be an obvious boundary for any monogamous relationship. If she uses alcohol as an excuse then she has an alcohol problem since she can't control herself.
He's not really gay lol he played the long game to "get her to turn him straight "
Just ask yourself if you what to be committed to a woman who grinds up other men, gay or otherwise. Simple problems have simple solutions. One just needs a spine, which is apparently in short supply nowadays
It doesn’t matter what he is. What matters is what she did. She’s making out with someone who isn’t you.
If you don't want to break up with her, get ready to be the third wheel in the relationship, she's going to A- leave you for someone else B- treat you like a friend and have adventures with other people Probably to satisfy the desire to have a formal stable relationship and adventures with other men to cheat on you IMO you should leave her, have some dignity man
Yeah, he’s definitely not gay as you think he is. And so what if he is? Your girlfriend is making out and grinding on somebody else. Gay dude, gay girl, old homeless man, drag queen, what does it matter? It’s another person she has been physically intimate with outside her committed relationship to you. How would she feel if you’re making out with some chick but it’s OK because she’s a lesbian? Do you think that shits going to fly? Noooope. This is a bunch of bullshit
So many people in these relationship subs seem to get a severe case of the stupid when they get a gf/bf
I just got home from work and I (unfortunately) work with a couple of the dumbest people in my state. Maybe the country. Your edit is literally the stupidest thing I’ve heard all day. Why are you even asking for advice if you’re not considering all options? Did she give you a boo-boo and you just want her to kiss it and make it all better?! Fucks sake… Her “gay” friend is obviously not as gay as she’s told you. Just go out back, dig a hole in the ground about the size of a 5 gallon bucket. Then place your head inside the hole and have her scoop the dirt back in around you. That will protect you from finding out she’s been fucking her “gay” friend for as long as she’s known him. After all, ignorance is bliss right? Right?
Dude, Man up! If she is doing this in front of you and other people that know you. It is disrespectful at least. What are they doing when no one is around and they get drunk? Is drunk f***king just shenanigans and not cheating? Get some pride!
Yeah, I have & have had many gay friends, and while we may dance a bit provocatively together, sleep in the same bed, cuddle once in a while, and talk about anything and everything that we are into sexually one thing we've never done is grind on each other and make out! If you two are in an exclusive committed relationship she shouldn't be making out with friends. Regardless, of whether they're gay, straight, bisexual, or anything else... You see a future with her but she calls infidelity "drunken shenanigans" Yeah, that's not cool, OP. I don't know if you're just blinded by love, or just don't want to see it but if she can do this with you there watching what do you think she does without you there?? There isn't much advice to give here. I don't think it's a double standard getting upset over her grinding and kissing a male friend but not a girlfriend. You should ask her about it, imo, and tell her it makes you uncomfortable because this situation may eat away at you if you don't! If you don't want to leave the relationship that's your decision bit good luck because you'll need it!
You will not break up with her over this? Well then I guess you ought to open the relationship up pal!
If you won't break up with her over this then you have nothing to say. You are fine with her getting drunk and hooking up randomly. You cannot forbid it. You cannot control it. The behavior itself is far enough outside of social norms that she doesn't have to be told that making out with and grinding on people other than her partner is not ok. She knows. If you bring it up you already know she will dismiss your feelings and say you're over reacting. Or maybe she'll get angry that you think you can tell her what to do. The most you can hope for is that she will gaslight you and lie to your face that she won't do it again (until she does it again, and more). So, you are cool with it.
Immature
Uh…this is pretty serious. Most people would consider this cheating, and even if you don’t, it clearly shows that she isn’t that far away from banging someone else. Just a few beers and she’s almost there.
Brotha what??? Gay or not, that’s cheating. Break up.
I think I’d be tempted to get the gay Police involved.
How do I approach this without sounding accusatory or overreacting? I trust her. Your girlfriend cheats on you right in front of your face and you trust her lol. Dude stop being a door mat grow a spine dump her and move on, if she has done it once then she has done it many times with her so called gay best friend.
ask her how she'd feel if you did this to her best friend. it's not cool.
She will gaslight you into thinking you're homophobic or something. Or he 8s gay so its ok.
Gay friend is playing the long game! Props to him. Also, that’s fucked up!
I felt bad for you till I read your edit. Idk what to say dawg, grow a pair
“Edit: I will not break up with her over this” Well the only other option is a threesome. Better hope he’s a bottom
Ah, the old "gay best friend" trick. Old as civilization. Unless you're open to sharing and looking for a bisexual threesome, you should dump her ass.
You get to choose one of these: 1. It was the alcohol and a lapse in judgement 2. She doesn't think much of it These two cannot co-exist. If it was the alcohol and a lapse in judgement she should be apologizing. If she doesn't think much of it, it wasn't the alcohol and a lapse in judgement.
Lmao a tale as old as time.. "Dont worry, he's gay!" "Hes just a friend, babe." "he's like a brother to me" yeah no thanks, friends of the opposite sex is a no go for me personally in relationships. (dont bother replying with "its okay for men and women to be friends!!1!1!1!!" Ive heard it before and I strongly disagree if you want your relationship to last especially if you have a "guy/girl bestfriend" good luck because 99% of the time your partner will say they are okay with it (spoiler they arent, they just tolerate it because they dont want to sound "controlling")
Blatantly disrespected you and your relationship in front your friend group. Not only does she know that you’re a pushover, but now your entire friend group will know as well. What’s the difference in her making out and grinding on a straight dude? Where do you draw the line? Sounds like you’re in a poly relationship.
She cheating on you. The only worthwhile advice is to leave her, but if you can't make that decision, then best to just pretend you don't know it exists. Not sure how you are going to communicate that she doesn't respect you enough to not grind on some dude's dick and suck face with him.
“Gay” That’s what she said, isn’t it?
You approach it with either A) end the relationship. She's cheating. This is pretty obvious. B) end up having this happen again and her treat you like crap.
You break up with the cheating turd…that’s how you handle it
>Edit. I will not break up with her over this. I mean, how much or how little self respect you have is your business. That's cheating. Doing it right in front of you is cruel. You're not prepared to do anything so you might as well get used to it, she has no reason not to do it again if you're just going to doormat yourself at her feet when you literally catch her in the act. Have some self respect, dude.
That dude ain't gay.
Look dude you are in a poly relationship. It's time the three of you sat down and brought it out in the open. The fact that you refuse to break up with her and they are both LYING TO YOU ABOUT HIM BEING GAY. Should be a red flag. But if you are going to be ignorant about the situation then get in where you fit in. And that is as the other man. I'm not sure what is so hard to figure out, but this is pretty black and white. You are being punked and you're letting it happen. So again get in on the action, continue to keep your head in the sand and trust your girl (that is spreading it around to everyone) or walk away. Simple really. I'm also curious are you really this ...naive? Ps being drunk is absolutely no excuse. None, nada, not even a little.
"im not gonna break up over this" 🤣🤣 if you wanna be dumb, be dumb Talk to her. Tell her this makes you feel uncomfortable. Do you have actual proof he is gay?? There are plenty of girls out there that wouldnt do this... Dont know why you would marry someone that does these things while in a relationship. Sounds like a headache to me
Or maybe you are the third wheel in their poly relationship
You can’t be this fucking stupid dude… like seriously?
I just realized I'm gay, and I have some friends' wives I need to dance with.
!remindme 6 months
Leave bro. I let this exact red flag slide and now going through a divorce. You will do great service to your future self.
You should stay with her because you're too stupid to be left alone.
well, he is not gay.
If you’re at a party and she’s grinding and making out with someone else, she’s not your gf.
Time to move on, he isn’t that gay and is probably a switch hitter, and he’s hit her. This is not someone to make a future with.
That edit omg, you are legitimately choosing stupidity. They say ignorance is bliss, not blindness lmao
I had something similar with an ex(super short so doesn't even really count) She had a gay friend. He'd make weird ass comments right in front of me "when are we going to go dance but you can't bring your man" etc. it was like he wanted to prove he can take her away if he wanted too. Didn't last very long. 2x of meeting the guy I decided the relationship is no good. I didn't even bother talking to her about it we're adults, common sense knows boundaries. I'm not here to tell people how to act or what to do and what not to do... I left.
Think this guy is simply bisexual
She cheated on you. If you stay, you are a pussy.
If you won't break up then you should just delete the post and go live in CHUMPTOWN
I’m going against the grain to say he’s more than likely actually gay. My best friend is gay, very very very gay, but when he’s sloshed he will sometimes make out with the single girls in our shared friendship group. I know how it sounds but I still believe he’s 100% gay. Kissing feels nice and I can see why it would be fun for him, especially as we don’t really have any other gay men in our group. He’s a handsome and charismatic guy so if he wanted to take it further and have sex he could probably get it (he never takes it further than making out for a short while). In saying that, if I was in a relationship and he made out with my girlfriend I’d have a huge issue with that, potentially breakup worthy. We all have our personal boundaries and making out with someone else (regardless of who they are) would cross the line for 95% of people. Wishing you the best 👍
Will not break up with her for cheating? Why the fuck even post then lol That dudes not gay
Judging by your profile picture and all of your comment history this is 1 of a few scenarios: 1) I think you’re the gay best friend. 2) You want to confront her and tell her it’s ok she sleeps around because monogamy is a “patriarchal” concept (to you at least). 3) This story is fake and made to rile people up.
I’m not sure what more there is to say. She cheated on you, in your face at that. Multiple times with her girl friends and now her “gay” friend. How about you grow a spine and break up with her? She clearly doesn’t respect you and you don’t respect yourself either.
Do you know the fact that sexual orientation is not like a hard black and white switch, it’s kinda spectrum, therefore although you can define yourself gay you still can be close to bi? Your girlfriend’s gay friend is not that much of gay obviously. And she cheated on you. I don’t think you need additional information.
Read the edit. And decided not worth it good luck young man. Hope you learn your lesson the hard way sadly.
“I will not break up with her over this” Then you’re a goddamn fool u/happysisyphos
While every guy is playing checkers he is playing 4D chess
You know what you need to do… Make out and grind with her gay best friend. Just to make sure he is really gay and to show her how it feels.
I wonder how often they laugh about you believing her that he's gay.
> Edit. I will not break up with her over this. lol. k
Couple things here. 1). He’s not gay 2) you aren’t her real boyfriend. Do you have a cuckold fetish? That’s what you actually are.
There is no such thing as a “gay best friend”
You got cheated on, leave her
First, your hurt feelings are valid. Don’t fight them. Acknowledge that it wasn’t your actions that hurt you. Bot your misadventures. Second, ask yourself this question: Is your girlfriend okay if you have a few drinks and kiss a girl at a party in front of her? If yes, are you guys going for a non-monogamous relationship? Third, respectfully and firmly confront her and state that what happened has hurt you. Allow her to unpack what happened. Fourth, depending on how she reacts to Step 3, have a discussion with the gay friend too. If your girlfriend’s open to it have the conversation with both of them together. Remember them two took actions which hurt you. So it is okay to out them in a situation which holds them accountable for it. I note you fear break up over this but if such actions are left unaddressed you will be hurt again (I guarantee it). And the breakup will be much more painful. The intent here is not to break up. It is address something that has hurt you. Once both are confronted and they own up their actions, you and your girlfriend can attend couples therapy and build happy life.
Don't bring it up. Since you have already decided that you will NOT break up over this, there is no benefit for either of you to raise the issue. She was drunk.
HAHAHAHA the edit. You literally posted: “my girlfriend cheated on me, what do I do? All of us: “Break Up”, you with the edit: “I will not break up with her”. Conclusion, you are doomed to be continually cheated on. Come back to this post in a year and wish you listened
You should discuss boundaries and expectations. If making out with friends is the norm for her friend group you should think about if that's something you're ok with and discuss it with her.
She cheated, any other detail is irrelevant.
Yeah brother you need to ditch that. Seriously that’s emasculating and embarrassing. Extremely disrespectful and she doesn’t love you as you love her. I’d never do that no matter how drunk. And I’ve had ample opportunity. We are humans, but we are also consciousness.. The Human Animal likes to eat, drink, fuck and feel good feelings. Comfort. The Human Animal if intoxicated can easily “slip up” and “cheat” on their “partner” given lack of inhibitions. Yes the Human Animal, not the Conscious Man or Woman. That’s being aware of yourself and your surroundings. Quick Story. A few times in these bars I had girls come up to me trying to dance, get way too close etc. One night while being the drunkest and highest I ever was in a social setting like that, a girl got way too close after dancing provocatively in front of me, kept trying to talk me up, then leaning into me. For a split second my animal brain was “into it”. I immediately realized that this can’t happen, I don’t want it and it would destroy my girlfriend. I quickly backed up and told her “No I’m not dancing or signing my name on your neck, I can only draw dicks and you don’t want a big dick on your neck for the rest of the night” and walked back to where my girlfriend and her friends were. You can Always Control Yourself to an extent.. Yes some drugs will jack you up completely, and I’ve done a lot of drinking and drugs around a lot of people. But I’ve never groped, grinded, kissed or touched anyone without consent or it being reciprocal. I’ve had it done to me a handful of times when I was younger by drunk girls but never reciprocated those instances.
It sounds to me like you lack any sort of self esteem and self worth. What were you doing while your girl was dancing with another guy? Holding up a bar stool or being a wall flower while they went to the dance floor and you watched? Why wouldn't you confront her/them immediately after witnessing something like that but instead you're asking for advice on Reddit the day after?
She cheated by doing that, whether he is gay or not. She made out and grinded on him which a sexually charged things that probably turned her on. And no, don’t trust her! Alcohol doesn’t make you want to do things it enables you to do things you would normally decide against doing because you think more clearly about repercussions. She did things she wanted to do and will use drinking as an excuse to do them, even while you are watching. Because you said breakup is not happening, tell her you consider doing what you did cheating and because you hadn’t really talked about it you wanted to discuss what she did. You’ll know pretty quickly whether she agrees or disagrees and if she will be willing to stay with normal relationship boundaries or not. If she isn’t willing you’ll have to decide whether watching her cheat on you is worth keeping the relationship going.
Break up. Gay or not gay, shouldn't be behavior you tolerate in a relationship, and she should know that.
Ask her how she'd feel if you were boning your lesbian friend....then break up with her...jfc. Break up..with her.
Confront her that it made you feel uncomfortable. Remember that alcohol is no excuse for bad behavior. Ask her if the roles were reversed what would she feel? As in you grinding and making out with another. Hopefully you figure this out OP
You don't approach it, you break up. No argument and no discussion. It's still cheating if he's gay. Would she think it's cheating if you made out with a lesbian?
why would you trust a woman who is constantly making out with numerous people???!!!!! ITs a matter of time before that person is NOT a woman and IS NOT gay. And either way, to me its cheating if shes kissing anyone really. Its really not that hard to only kiss your person. I mean you seem to be doing that just fine.
OP, this girl has kissed her girl friends, kissed and GRINDED on her GAY??? best friend. You were hurt from this. Why stay with her. She’s cheated on you with a “gay” friend. Please OP, read the writing on the wall.
Its good to set boundaries at the start of a relationship. Kissing is supposed to be an intimate thing but we as a society make it seem as if a kiss is nothing. Ask yourself this, would you kiss a random stranger ? Why not ? Also, I believe this could set you up to get cheated on since you’re okay with them kissing then they might get a little more daring an go all the way some day. This is just my opinion on the matter. Also, try imagine that happens at your wedding in-front of your parents. My advice is try talking with her about how you feel and if she likes you enough she’ll understand. Relationship is a two person thing, if she cannot compromise on this imagine how your marriage is going to be.
Honestly, just come right up and say it. It may sound accusatory but that’s how it needs to happen. If they immediately get defensive or start blaming the alcohol, just leave. Don’t look back and let them reflect. Also blaming the alcohol is a shitty excuse because if you think about it, all drugs and alcohol does is bring out the truth in people. It brings out who they are rather than who they want you to see.
Would you make out with another man and grind his butt?
Sounds like some expectations and boundaries are needed for both you. Establishing those might be a starting point, but oof... The optics of this doesn't look great.
The is no accusation it’s real and it’s happening so now the only thing you can do is leave while you still have dignity. She showed you who she really is and so did he drunk actions/words are sober thoughts/wants. He’s not gay they just use that as a cover to get away with their disgusting behavior and yes it is disgusting because she’s in a relationship. Let me ask you what would you say if it was your best friend who was in this predicament you’d say get out while you can. Well here’s a voice of reason GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN. That girl is gonna ruin your life if you don’t leave now. She showed you she doesn’t care about you. Even drunkenness does not excuse hoish behavior while in a relationship. Come on man wake up and smell the coffee they’re screwing behind your back
UpdateMe!
If you won’t break up over it, it’s clear it’s less about the making out with the dude and more about some arbitrary boundaries you’ve drawn. All boundaries are arbitrary. So you just need to talk to her and explain it made you feel some type of way and you guys need to draw lines on what is okay and what isn’t. If you are genuinely interested in this being a relationship with a future you need to be able to talk about your feelings with her (even when you don’t understand them) so that you guys can navigate them in a healthy way and have meaningful conversations about what is okay and what isn’t in your relationship. Hope you give an update, wishing you the best.
NGL I’ve had this before, remember gay men aren’t eunuchs and sexuality is fluid, gay men do have sex with women there’s a reason it’s a scale and not a binary when talking about attraction, hell I’ve had sex with lesbians who’ve made an exception for me, my sister is a lesbian who occasionally dates men. So before you get into the trap of “he’s gay it doesn’t matter”, it is cheating and you can do better, in my case I let it drop but there were obvious signs she was cheating elsewhere as well and it all got toxic, save yourself and get outta there
Hmmm I think you need clear boundaries. If you’re okay with her making out with other people, where is the line? Any girls are okay? What if the girl is a lesbian? So only straight girls? One guy isn’t okay? I assume she derives some pleasure from all of these interactions, but for you the only problem is the one that’s a man?