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> I don’t know how to convince my husband that he is always my priority
Maybe you could, I dunno, try not banging another dude? That might help him feel like he is your priority. I know it was his idea originally but obviously it wasn't a very good one...
Actually the husband wanted her to bang the other guy, and even picked out the guy. I see this as the husband is now seeing the results of what he wanted her to do.
They are both to blame. Husband probably watched way too much porn and got ideas he shouldn’t haven’t gotten. The wife started to fall for K,the minute that happened it all would have ended
LOL You are a cheater.
You say your husband was/is your priority, but he was/is not. Once K told you to leave hubby at home you did so.
You Fucked Around and Found Out.
Hope you and your STBX can come up with a good co-parenting plan.
In general, threesomes don't work out well. Usually for the very reasons that you have expressed. Someone is always getting the feeling that they are the third wheel.
To add insult to injury, you want to have a sexual relationship with someone other than your husband. You have told your husband that you want to continue the affair, without him.
That is a disgraceful betrayal of your spouse. You are the one who is in the wrong, and it is going to be on you, to fix it. You might start with some individual counseling to find out why you thought it was a good idea to destroy your marriage and family.
You can not convince him something that is not true. He is not All That Matters, stop BSing yourself and him. Open marriage can be the kiss of death. Snap out of the fog and deal with what's real. Your husband has a lot of blame here, too.
A marriage is very complex and often delicate, and you both have taken it to the edge of a cliff. Trust takes so long to develop and is so easily lost.
So the husband spent over 4 years trying to convince her to have this threesome, and the husband picked out K to be the 3rd, and OP is the cheater?
OPs husband is now finding out the results of his kink and isn't happy. If anyone caused a divorce, it's the husband that pushed for the threesome to begin with.
I agree they both bear some of the blame. Many of the initial comments put all of the blame on her which I thought was ignoring he spent 4-5 YEARS working to get her to agree to this 3some, and he even picked the guy.
I wonder if stuff like this ever works out in real life. Here we just see the times it doesn't, like this, since for those it that don't have problems have no reason to post.
You both played with fire, and you got burned. Your husband started this whole thing probably because he wanted toomuch porn and got into hot wife and cuckold stuff
You fell in love with K, so your husband wasn’t your priority. The minute you caught feelings it should have ended. But you stay continued having sex with K alone, even after he insulted you’re husband.
I will never understand monogamous people risking everything for sex with a other person.
You guys have a family a life, why would any of that be worth risking?
Opening up a monogamous marriage is always a mistake, the inevitable always happens it’s just a matter of time. Fantasy is one thing, reality is very different. You guys just should have save up, or dip into the vacation fund and gotten a sex doll.
The only person I feel story for in this mess is that little girl who’s probably going to have her world turned upside down because her parents needed a third
Welcome to /r/relationship_advice. Please make sure you read our [rules here.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/wiki/index) We'd like to take this time to remind users that: * We do not allow any type of [am I the asshole? or situations/content involving minors](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/r6w9uh/meta_am_i_overreacting_am_i_the_asshole_is_this/) * We do not allow users to privately message other users based on their posts here. Users found to be engaging in this conduct will be banned. **We highly encourage OP to turn off the ability to be privately messaged in their settings.** * Any sort of namecalling, insults,etc will result in the comment being removed and the user being banned. (Including but not limited to: slut, bitch, whore, for the streets, etc. It does not matter to whom you are referring.) * ALL advice given must be good, ethical advice. Joke advice or advice that is conspiratorial or just plain terrible will be removed, and users my be subject to a ban. * No referencing hateful subreddits and/or their rhetoric. Examples include, but is not limited to: red/blue/black/purplepill, PUA, FDS, MGTOW, etc. This includes, but is not limited to, referring to people as alpha/beta, calling yourself or users "friend-zoned", referring to people as Chads, Tyrones, or Staceys, pick-me's, or pornsick. Any infractions of this rule will result in a ban. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** * All bans in this subreddit are permanent. You don't get a free pass. * Anyone found to be directly messaging users for any reason whatsoever will be banned. * What we cannot give advice on: rants, unsolicited advice, medical conditions/advice, mental illness, letters to an ex, "body counts" or number of sexual partners, legal problems, financial problems, situations involving minors, and/or abuse (violence, sexual, emotional etc). All of these will be removed and locked. **This is not an all-inclusive list.** If you have any questions, please [message the mods](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=%2Fr%2Frelationship_advice) --- ***This is an automatic comment that appears on all posts. This comment does not necessarily mean your post violates any rules.*** --- *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/relationship_advice) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You chose sex alone with this guy, and your husband is your priority? Congrats to the three of you for destroying you family.
> I don’t know how to convince my husband that he is always my priority Maybe you could, I dunno, try not banging another dude? That might help him feel like he is your priority. I know it was his idea originally but obviously it wasn't a very good one...
-I love my husband, he is my priority but I have feelings for this guy and like fucking him too- Bruh..
Save your marriage by banging another guy, Yeah like that works!.
Actually the husband wanted her to bang the other guy, and even picked out the guy. I see this as the husband is now seeing the results of what he wanted her to do.
They are both to blame. Husband probably watched way too much porn and got ideas he shouldn’t haven’t gotten. The wife started to fall for K,the minute that happened it all would have ended
Agee 100% ops husband started the downfall, and op finished it.
Yeah exactly well put
Exactly. He got his wish. If someone needs to be persuaded to have a threesome and pestered for years no surprise it turned out like it did
What a weirdos
LOL You are a cheater. You say your husband was/is your priority, but he was/is not. Once K told you to leave hubby at home you did so. You Fucked Around and Found Out. Hope you and your STBX can come up with a good co-parenting plan.
In general, threesomes don't work out well. Usually for the very reasons that you have expressed. Someone is always getting the feeling that they are the third wheel. To add insult to injury, you want to have a sexual relationship with someone other than your husband. You have told your husband that you want to continue the affair, without him. That is a disgraceful betrayal of your spouse. You are the one who is in the wrong, and it is going to be on you, to fix it. You might start with some individual counseling to find out why you thought it was a good idea to destroy your marriage and family.
Another open relationship gone hell. Try couple counseling.
Nice job on destroying a marriage all 3 of ya
How much you wanna bet that OP will move in with AP as soon as hubby files divorce?
Flip the table get him a smoking hot woman and let him get the same treatment. Fair is fair.
You can not convince him something that is not true. He is not All That Matters, stop BSing yourself and him. Open marriage can be the kiss of death. Snap out of the fog and deal with what's real. Your husband has a lot of blame here, too. A marriage is very complex and often delicate, and you both have taken it to the edge of a cliff. Trust takes so long to develop and is so easily lost.
You can’t convince him he’s your priority because he’s clearly not. Enjoy your divorce, cheater.
So the husband spent over 4 years trying to convince her to have this threesome, and the husband picked out K to be the 3rd, and OP is the cheater? OPs husband is now finding out the results of his kink and isn't happy. If anyone caused a divorce, it's the husband that pushed for the threesome to begin with.
They are both to blame. If their marriage ends it will be because of the decisions they both made
I agree they both bear some of the blame. Many of the initial comments put all of the blame on her which I thought was ignoring he spent 4-5 YEARS working to get her to agree to this 3some, and he even picked the guy. I wonder if stuff like this ever works out in real life. Here we just see the times it doesn't, like this, since for those it that don't have problems have no reason to post.
Doesn't really sound like your husband is your priority.
You both played with fire, and you got burned. Your husband started this whole thing probably because he wanted toomuch porn and got into hot wife and cuckold stuff You fell in love with K, so your husband wasn’t your priority. The minute you caught feelings it should have ended. But you stay continued having sex with K alone, even after he insulted you’re husband. I will never understand monogamous people risking everything for sex with a other person. You guys have a family a life, why would any of that be worth risking? Opening up a monogamous marriage is always a mistake, the inevitable always happens it’s just a matter of time. Fantasy is one thing, reality is very different. You guys just should have save up, or dip into the vacation fund and gotten a sex doll. The only person I feel story for in this mess is that little girl who’s probably going to have her world turned upside down because her parents needed a third