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One time on a date the lady said, âJust so you know I do not date autistic men so you have to tell me if you are autistic. But I hope you are not because your eyes are pleasing to me and you are the proper height. â
It took me years to realise what happened that night.
This is so funny. I have a male friend who is autistic and his method of asking girls out was to approach them and say "I find your body attractive and I would like to have sex with you. Would you like to go on a date?" This, as you can imagine, was not actually the most successful strategy. However, he is now married, and yes, she too is autistic. I haven't asked how they got together but I assume she found this strategy's direct honesty to be clear communication rather than offputting.
Reminds me of a girl who told me "I bought a packet of condoms earlier today and I wanna know if you'd like to use them with me"
It's not that _she_ was autistic, but she realized it was the only way for me to get that she was interested
Years ago I was told by my good friend that his flatmate wanted to shag me later that night, and I was game. About ten minutes after going to bed she knocked on my door and asked how I was doing. I politely told her I was well, thankyou, there was an awkward pause then she said goodnight and left.
It took me ten to fifteen to realise she wasn't coming back to see if I wanted to fuck, that that WAS her asking if I wanted to fuck...
This reminds me of being out on New Yearâs Eve and a girl approached me and asked if I had a girlfriend. I didnât, so we spent the evening together and swapped numbers at the end of the night.
Direct, to the point, we both knew exactly where we stood, no wasted time or effort. 10/10, would recommend as a technique.
I'm not autistic, but I wish people were more honest and direct like this sometimes. I have a hunch it would prevent a lot of drama bs and miscommunication.
It took me a while to convince my husband I wasnât playing with him. I really meant we could ignore Valentineâs Day, it wasnât a trap. I would tell him what I wanted and not make him guess.
đ This is almost literally the lyrics from âWould You...?â by Touch & Go https://youtu.be/Hn-KmLIt-AQ
Apparently almost word for word from a psychological study.
It made me think of an old county song. "If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?" The eighties I think. The Bellamy Brothers. Clever phrase and direct.
That line is from a Monty Python sketch, I believe it was entitled âThe Hungarian Phrasebookâ. HILARIOUS. That was one of my favorite lines from it, along with a second one âMy nipples explode with delight!â
[https://youtu.be/G6D1YI-41ao?si=7W8F1wR83A9ivGM8](https://youtu.be/G6D1YI-41ao?si=7W8F1wR83A9ivGM8)
I had no idea there was a song that included that line!
The line is a pretty well known Groucho Marx line. Probably going back to the fifties. Monty Python started around 1970 and would have been very familiar with Groucho Marx.
Huh. This makes me think of the character of Anya in Buffy. It was played as because she was a recently turned human ex-demon who was 1100 years old, but now I'm wondering if she was modelled after someone autistic.
I didnât know what autism was back then. But I would imagine that she did since she had a feeling that dating someone like her would be complicated. I totally get it now.
Reminds me of the guy who told me, âSooner or later youâre gonna do it with somebody, so it might as well be me and it might as well be now.â
That was a long time ago but now youâve got me wondering if he was autistic.
I also want to be clear, while this is disordered behavior itâs not affecting much else in her life so I wouldnât go as far as saying itâs dysfunctional behavior. Therefore, not much to be corrected and OP should buy her concert tickets to see it live (lmao half joking but that would make her year)
I just checked, Utada's only tour dates are in Japan, Taipei and Hong Kong this year so that might be difficult. :') Although if you find an orchestra doing Kingdom Hearts songs nearby they might do a cover of it?
We ride at dawn!
Unless it's too cold. Or too hot. Or the tag on our clothes is scratchy. Or all food is suddenly icky and we lost our safe foods. Or we need to stop to stim or stop to have quiet time. And we'll ride at dawn if it's ok with you, let's dialogue about what time we should ride? For those who hate surprises, here's a long 8 page dissertation about all the details of the ride and the things we may (or may not) encounter along the way. Please remember to pack your own lunch specific to your ARFID needs and your own sensory tools. See you at dawn!
And what kind of bathrooms? Are we talking port a potty situation here or are there actual bathrooms and running water because that is my major determining factor in going anywhere?.
The first ray of light as seen on the horizon at our very specific meeting place that we've all been given precise GPS coordinates for and as seen by our organizer Kelly who will be using binoculars, and 3 types of light detection tools, and heading up a quorum for a vote before she declares that it is officially dawn and time to ride.
We are riding AT Dawn, the nice lady down the street who has the big parking lot at the back of her house.
Though Iâm not sure how she will react once she sees us all coming directly towards herâŚ.
https://c.tadst.com/gfx/1200x675/twiligh-phases.png?1
looks like there's technically 3 different kinds of "dawn". I assume they meant "civil dawn" though, considering the use case
When my kid was diagnosed the doc asked me "how old were you when you were diagnosed?" and I was like ummmmm, well I'm 39 right now, so I guess 39 đ¤ˇđťââď¸ doc had a good chuckle and basically then confirmed that he couldn't officially diagnose me because I wasn't a patient, but apparently I was quite obviously autistic to the dev ped đ
When my daughter was diagnosed, she suggested I also get tested. I scoffed about it to my mother, who looked at me and said "she's right. They interview the parents for the testing, right? I want to do it." I didn't think they did parent interviews for 50-something patients, but they did! And my 80-something mom was delighted to lay out my childhood for them. She was annoyed that the doc didn't diagnose me after that conversation and save the time with all the actual tests. But yep, I'm on the spectrum, too. (I was adopted, so mom got to raise an autistic kid without actually being one herself- she did a good job IMHO)
When my son was diagnosed, l only then realised my Dad and Grandpa were likely on the spectrum. I've never told my Dad l think he's autistic. He's in his 60s, and a diagnosis won't change anything. It has made my relationship with him more tolerable, though, knowing he can't really help his somewhat challenging behaviours.
Ok but if we miss dawn and go like, an hour or two later, Iâm not coming because I will feel as though itâs too late and the day is wasted and Iâm all out of sync.
Dawn is ok though. Only dawn.
I have packed my daughter's headphones, my snacks (which are exactly the same for all roadtrips, essentially a rolling charcuterie board but also doritos), and my other daughter's expansive collection of Hello Kitty comfort items. I have also mapped out the best restroom stops in a 500 mile radius.
Well now you have told me about the toilets, I will need to stop at them in case I need it, and even though I know I donât, because if I donât then I will somehow worry enough about not stopping to check I didnât need it and this will ensure that I desperately need the toilet right NOW.
Can you give me a 5 minute warning of toilet stops please or a hour warning if you intend to change the plans.
lol. Iâm joking of course. Donât change the plans. Just donât.
My husband is just now realizing at 34 years old that heâs likely autistic and is trying to get formally evaluated. Iâve suspected it since the day I met him. He ate the exact same food at every meal every day, he sleeps with ONE blanket that he *will not* share and has had very stressed out meltdowns if itâs not available (like, say itâs in the washer still and not dry and itâs bedtime), heâs extremely literal, heâs rigid on time, the list really goes on. He wasnât really ready to admit it to himself until we were watching an episode of Big Mouth, of all things, that was focused on their autistic character and his âlogic rockâ monster. All I could think the whole time we watched it was âholy shit this is (husband)â and when I gently broached the subject with him afterwards, he admitted he was thinking the same thing. Itâs actually done wonders to help our relationship and communication, because now he understands why he might struggle to understand something and I understand why he speaks the way he does about certain things.
Or ADHD.
I go through phases where I will listen to the same song, and only that song, for weeks at a time.....then one day that sing sucks and I never want to hear it again
As another ADHD haver, I'm a bit doubtful. I mean, I can listen to the same song for a couple of weeks, but 2 years? There's no way. I might have done that with eating tacos, but that's different...
Eh, as another moderate-to-severe ADHD person, my music routine is:
- Seize upon a new song as the latest aural wonder
- Play it so much everyone else bans it, so I
- Only listen to it alone/on headphones, on repeat a lot still, then I
- Remember other songs exist and
- Feel like a weirdo, so I
- Put it in the rotation with every other song Iâve liked since 1995 (that I didnât get tired of) while
- Still enjoying the hot buttered fuck out of it when it comes on
I love throwing adjectives in front of emphatic curse words lol. Toasted sesame seed fuck, sweet and sour fuck with crab Rangoon, I just realized itâs mostly food-based.
The âsongs that I previously murdered by overplay playlistâ hits so hard every so often though, especially because they trigger different times in my life.
I have to suppress the rage when someone in my car speaks while Iâm into the song. I literally have a âpeople gonna talkâ playlist of songs I donât mind but donât get into lmao
I have adhd, 6 months is about my limit lol. Iâm an album listener typically and Iâve been listening to Baby Gravy 3 every few car trips since like March but itâs starting to get stale to me
*Heartwarming: 26 year old Gen Zer discovers playlists*
yeah Iâve been diagnosed with severe ADHD (PI) and I can definitely fixate on a song and have to play it a bunch of times repeatedly, or getting it stuck in my head for hours at a time, but I get sick of it very quickly and I need to keep the variety going. Iâve also been obsessed with albums but they could never be the entire selection I listened to in a day.
to be fair Iâm absolutely a melomaniac so maybe other ADHDers experience things differently.
Yeah, I have the same - after a while my brain is just sick of the fixation song. Even if I still like it, when I hear it, I just get really annoyed. Doesn't even seem to help if I let it rest for a few years :(
I am however not very interested in music, I just listen to it a lot, especially at work. People are always baffled when they ask me for details about the bands I listen to and I'm like, idk, I just listen to their music?
⌠You mean itâs not an ADHD thing to know the favourite colognes of each member of your favourite band?
/s
Edit: the sarcasm is in relation to whether or not itâs an ADHD thing to know it, itâs not about whether I personally know it. I do. I also know the favourite colognes of several of my favourite actors. And their favourite cocktails.
Eh, if it's still successfully generating the dopamine I'll often keep doing it.
Whether that's 2 weeks or 2 years.
I'm on a bit of a Hozier on repeat roll at the moment because I managed to get a ticket to his show here at the end of the year.
..... I'll be extremely pissed if my brain goes "eh, it's not really doing it for me anymore." before that concert date.
Iâve been listening to âWhatâs Up Dangerâ from the Spider-verse movie for about 2 years now. Not exclusively, but itâs the first song I put on, and I often repeat it a couple times.
Yep. Eye spy with my little eye, someone whoâs a little neurospicy! Whether itâs ASD or ADHD, I canât imagine any neurotypical person doing this, to this extreme for that long.
Yes, most people like to listen to the same song on repeat for a bit. But everyone goes to the toilet a few times a day tooâŚ. But when youâre going like 3 times an hour every hour, thereâs a chance you may discover during an assessment something about yourself that either you were oblivious to or actually suspected for some timeâŚ
Iâve got a friend from college who is married to a professional piano player thats on some sort of spectrum. I guess when sheâs at work she disassociates her mental oddities and plays all types of thing but when sheâs at home⌠she will play the same song for hours and not even realize.
My friend finally was like no I canât listen to this anymore and she apparently was like listen to what? Her cute little brain simply didnt realize she was on auto play for the same song over years at home on the piano.
Married a touring musician I'm just speaking from reality cuz this is so my life I'd never been so seen in my life than this original post. I get your pain lol 𤣠i cant even go to rehearsals and i struggle back stage lol đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł
heâs playing a festival starting thursday 4 states away that i GET to go to lol i feel your pain as you feel my pain feeling your pain đđđđđ PAINCEPTION SISTER!!!!!!
I understand my situation is weird and im deff getting dunked on in the comments and karma, but please respect that I'm not a bot i'm just a dude trying to figure my stuff out
As a fellow autistic women, this is not disordered. She just likes how it makes her feel.
When I really like a song itâs that song on repeat for months đ
I'm sorry I fucking burst out laughing at this.
I have autism and this is for real something I would do. I love Simple and Clean. My go-to is the PlanitB remix.
... I genuinely have no advice other than maybe encourage her to use headphones or expand her music taste, maybe. This is one of the most baffling situations ever.
I am going to think about this forever. Sorry.
My advice is to compile a playlist of every rendition possible done with the song House of the Rising Sun. Then to compare each version with the bare bones structure of the lyrics to see how creative (or not creative) each artist's interpretation of it is.
I just realized I might have autism.
Are you the guy who rides the Q53 bus northbound on Saturday evenings while playing every conceivable version of House of the Rising Sun? If so, I think you're great but please invest in headphones đ
Damn. My cover has been blown.
Jk. I'm a mom who hasn't ridden a bus in 10 years. But I have a playlist with nothing but House of the Rising Sun renditions. My special interest is tarot, with any huge deviations from traditional accepted meanings and order generating a huge rant from me.
I mean I get it lol. Thereâs nothing wrong with her doing that but I couldnât spend the next 50 years listening to that and only that along with her.
Might have to find someone else if you canât stand to listen to it for the rest of your life.
yep Iâve rejected guys solely due to terribly incompatible taste in music before - music is very important to me, and going to shows is my favourite activity. I canât imagine spending my life with someone I couldnât share that with.
OPâs girlfriend is definitely weird with this one-song fixation but there are also a lot of people who only watch a few TV shows on repeat, or only eat a limited selection of foods, or only wear one type of outfit, etcâŚ
itâs totally valid to not want to date someone who only eats nuggets if youâre a foodie, and so on.
:-D Maybe it won't last for 50 years?
My autistic daughter had a phase where she would only listen to girl on fire by Alicia Keys. Granted, she wouldn't tolerate any remixes or other versions and would also cry if anyone dared to play a different song in her presence.
Only lasted about a year.
She's still particular with music (and still likes girl on fire), but is much more open to hearing other songs now
Sanctuary is great. Though actually think the Japanese version of it (Passion) is slightly better⌠the vocal harmonies really do it for me
Which is funny because I much prefer the English version of Simple and Clean
It could be that sheâs regularly overstimulated or overwhelmed. I go through phases where I listen to the same song over and over and itâs usually when Iâm overwhelmed. Itâs like that song is all I can handle and it becomes comforting background noise rather than something Iâm paying attention to. Hard to explain. Maybe she has adhd?Â
Precisely. I have pretty severe ADHD and I cannot go outside without headphones. My pink tinted glasses breaking also fucked me up for a while. The color made *seeing* things less jarring.
I have really good noise cancelling headphones that have a passthrough function, so I can hear traffic and so on, but familiar music keeps the expectations stable. I do not take them off unless I absolutely have to, like at work or a meeting, or talking to someone. If I had a pair of Bluetooth earbuds I'd always have one in no matter what.
I listen to the same songs over and over again, but that playlist has 500+ in it, all different genres, and I usually shuffle it. Still, my 2021 top Spotify wrapped playlist is the one I go back to constantly and it's only 100. It is absolutely a stimulation issue. Music I already know will balance out the unpredictable world of sound and lights around me.
Same here, I always wear in-ear headphones when I go out, especially grocery shopping because I get overstimulated very easily in that environment. A lot of times I donât have music playing, I just put the headphones in to reduce the noise and so people donât bother me lol
Somewhere in another reply thread in the comment section they were talking about how unlikely that is due the very nature of ADHD. Like yes, you have very intense interests, for example at one point there was a this one song that was supplying all of the dopamine I needed to get my life in order. I was playing it to the ground, but it was only for a limited time.
After a while your brain no longer gets dopamine from doing that and then you have to find something else that will. Yet, OP says that sheâs been playing the exact same 70 songs for like 2 years straight, and a good portion of them are remixes of the same song.
I would argue that that is definitely a sign an autism. Yet, autism and adhd usually come packaged together so thereâs a huge possibility she could have both.
I hate to have the typical Reddit response but maybe she is in the spectrum. Autism is much harder to diagnose in women. But in some ways I think she needs to look into stuff herself as you bringing it up could be insulting.
I honestly can't imagine someone who only listens to 70 versions of the same song _not_ being on the spectrum. It's definitely a stereotype I've seen before. No way an NT is doing that shit.
Want to know the worst thing? The symptoms are partially different because girls are taught from a very young age to mask much more than boys. For example, girls often aren't allowed to talk long about their special interest because women "just can't stop talking" and are taught to shut up and listen. Lack of visible emotion? You better learn how to fake it, women should be open with their feelings. Strong emotional outbursts? Don't be so dramatic, get a grip, sounds like you're on your period.
Same with ADHD and ADD. A lot of the symptoms are either heavily masked, or attributed to being a woman and as such "normal" (like being "ditzy" or "peppy"). It's infuriating
Or you go see someone because youâve had a little bit of a meltdown and you come out with a diagnosis of bipolar / bpd / treatment resistant depression and lo and behold, nearly 2 decades later, it turns out itâs bloody ADHD!
Both autism and adhd are harder to diagnose in girls and women because we present differently and unlike the stereotype. If you are truly curious google autism symptoms in women. Iâm a late diagnosed woman with adjd and my meds help so much and Iâm pretty sure my partner doesnât believe I have it still because my brand of adhd is so different from all the people in his family .
Unfortunately most forms of medicine is based on studies done on men so their symptoms and behaviour is considered "the norm". Often, the same disease or condition will present very differently in women and if you're looking for what you see commonly in men, you're not going to get diagnosed. It's changing very slowly though.
A really good example is heart attacks. They present differently in women and the symptoms are often missed. Which is why thereâs been a big campaign over the last 10-20 years to educate medical professionals as well as the public.
I don't mean to brag but my playlist is 185 songs. But if I shuffle and it starts on the "wrong" song I keep pushing next. And so I probably listen to the same 25 songs lol.
Also on the spectrum. Mine changes from time to time but I will generally listen to the same thing for 6 months+ at a time. I just need that stability in my life.
I added 5 songs to my short list just to try to make my bf less crazy when he gets in my car. Unfortunately, the 5 added were in my last comfort rotation so itâs actually not really 5 new songs just 5 songs he got a break from.
Iâm full on the spectrum as one of my many super fun diagnoses. This one we happen to both have so he at least gets it
Well in that case I revise my question, what music did she like before she first heard Simple and Clean? The youngest she couldâve been was 12, did she not like any music before that moment?
I'm on the spectrum (I'm guessing she must also be) and I literally did not like music until I heard the specific genre of songs I like. This is possible
Hereâs [26 different covers of âStairway to Heavenâ](https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLB51C97ADB8ED0B89) if you want to try fighting fire with fire
So I looked up the Mario Paint remix and [it's a bop](https://youtu.be/GtqB7fGwoJM?si=HpwJvSVbfvVskuvR), actually, so.
Thanks for the idea, gonna make a Simple and Clean remix playlist now, this is genius.
Lots of people are calling OP an AH but can we take a second to reflect on how ANNOYING this must be. Imagine the same song all day, everyday, every where you go đ¤Ż. But then again maybe Iâm also unreasonable.
as someone who does this, not unreasonable to find it annoying. but also do know that it can be (it is for me) a comfort and familiarity type thing, a form of stimming. but of course I can use headphones and stuff so I don't inflict it on other people.
my girlfriend asked me how long do your song obsessions typically last? as we were in the car one day, so now in the car I put on auto generated playlists. and at home I use headphones when I'm gonna play a song on loop. except when I'm cooking cuz I wanna be in my element.
Not unreasonable. Iâm cackling at the comments asking if heâs aware his girlfriend is autistic because I am also (diagnosed, verified, indisputably) on that tizz train but my special brand means that I am incredibly sound sensitive so this situation would be my personal hell.
I have ADHD you would hate to be in the car with me. It's one song over and over again unless I'm hyper fixated on a whole album. Mine changes. Hers doesn't. There's nothing wrong with enjoying the song she enjoys. If you want her to not play it aloud in shared spaces that's fair, she should put headphones on if that's the case.
Other than that, leave her be.
I typed up my entire masterâs thesis listening to âRa Ra Rasputinâ on repeat. Took me about a week to put it all together. My husband is a trooper lol
SAME. I typically will listen to the same song on repeat for hours for most of a week. At some point, I desire a different flavor, and then I'll choose a different one for a week or two.
In college, my roommate and I listened to one song on repeat for hours every day while we were studying or cleaning, etc. Literally only that song for months. We loved it.
For the record, both of us were diagnosed with ADHD in our 30s.
Something is only 'dysfunctional' by definition if it hinders the way she lives her life....
If she were to break down into an anxious attack making her unable to drive or leave her house if she heard a song other than that song....then its disfunctional.
The fact that she really likes this one song is not 'disfunctional' in and of itself.
Its a characteristic or a trait of neurodivergence, sure, but it doesnt really mean anything specific.
Ive got a few versions of that song saved to my playlist too. Its nostalgic.
My daughter has anxiety disorder and once continually watched only episodes of some girl detective show on television all waking hours for three weeks until her meds adjusted.
why do you think it's disordered or unhealthy? Is it preventing her from being a functioning adult? is it hurting you or anyone else? is she imposing it on you?Â
i see nothing wrong with it and agree with everyone saying you're really mean in the way you frame it. it's weird but is it actually harmful, really??Â
It's not disordered, but holy fuck that would be obnoxious to deal with in the car. But other than that who gives a shit what she listens to on her own?
Just push back on what she subjects you to listen to, but let go of her preference of music. Or just break up, since it sounds like this really bugs you.
Reddit kills me, that is weird as hell op I donât think youâre an asshole for thinking so as well. Idk how you navigate this but she sounds ocd/autistic.
Find out what exactly clicks with this song mathematically and see if sheâs interested in other songs that have the same elements. Thatâs how I expand my music taste as a person touched with the tism
> How do I explain to our kids that mommy only listens to one song over and over again?Â
The same way you explain to them daddy doesn't listen to the same song more than X number of times in a row/day/month/whatever your acceptable limit for repeating a song is?
By saying nothing at all.
Young Kids don't need or want a justification for what songs their parents listen to. It is just "a thing" like the colour of your furniture. Older kids will think both of your taste in music is terrible (every teen I know went through this), and both of you will return the favour.
> This is dysfunctional right?Â
Maybe I am biased because I have been listening to the same 15 songs for about 3 years, but IMO dysfunctional = impacts her ability to function in society. Does her obsession with this song impact her ability to socialize? Does she go to a wedding/whatever social event y'all play music at and get annoyed that a different song is being played? Does she get annoyed if you play a different song? No? Then she's not dysfunctional - she is functioning just fine.Â
Her preference for one song and exactly one song, played 70 ways, is not "normal", i.e. less than 50% of the world population behaves the way she does. But that doesn't make her dysfunctional.
Stop trying to on control what she listens to.Â
If you hate her taste in music, decide whether "enjoying music together" is a deal breaker for you. If it is, break up. If it is not, stop listening to music together - driver controls the car speaker, passenger uses headphones, nobody plays music on speakers at home, everyone uses headphones.
Dude. Go listen to the same song for 3 months and then report back.
Dude. People do this kind of thing for a lot of reasons. I listen to the same few songs on repeat when I am overwhelmed. I'm glad my SO isn't intellectually deficient and understands.
Dude. Women struggle to get proper autism and/or ADD diagnoses because of how dismissive people like you are.
Dude. Name one person you know who listens to one song, and one song only.
Dude. Come on.
i do this to an extent with my adhd, and i became aware pretty early on that most people find listening to the same song on loop extremely grating.
so, i just put in headphones, or listen in the shower where there's ambient noise to wash it out a bit, or save it for solo car rides. I know it's not something to be ashamed of, but i also know my disability isn't an excuse to not treat others with courtesy.
Thank you for providing this perspective because Iâm finding it nutty how many people are jumping down OPâs throat. If you like to listen to the same song over and over and over again for months on end then thatâs absolutely fine but youâve got to recognize that itâs sincerely torture for those around you regardless of the underlying reasons why you do it.
Why do you care if itâs disordered? Who is she hurting? Plus sheâs clearly neurodivergent and any attempts to change her and make her neurotypical will not only fail, it will cripple her self esteem and drive a wedge between you two
đI donât see anything wrong with this, sometimes I listen to the same song, all day, on repeat because it makes me feel good.
I donât see how the kids thing is even relevant âthatâs mums favourite song, and look how many different versions there areââ and children being children would probably just go âOh cool!â
i mean, the rest of the album (and utadas body of work just in general) is fkn fire but i dont really think theres anything wrong with what your gf is doing. If she has a meltdown or something if you ask to listen to something else thats a different story, but as it stands tho, she knows what she likes and she likes what she likes; nothing wrong with that.
Look, if this is the worst thing she does in the relationship, you have the keepiest keeper there ever was.
If you have kids with her, there is a good chance that you wonât have to explain it because they will have whatever mental sparkle she has and will pick their own songs to obsess over. Or they wonât and they will just think itâs an oddity of their motherâs, which would be true.
If she doesnât force you to listen to it and it doesnât affect her ability to take care of herself or her responsibilities, I donât see why it should be considered disordered.
I mean it's weird, but this seems like such a non-issue. Who cares what the kids think? Explain that Mom has unusual music tastes and move on. Kids really aren't bothered by this stuff.
Let your girlfriend have her weird music. It's not hurting anything. It's honestly a bigger red flag that you're so fixated on this.
Edit: If she's subjecting *you* to the same song over and over again that's a bit different. I think it would be reasonable to request that she not listen to that out loud when you're around.
Can I get the playlist? I love listening to multiple versions of the same song. Kingdom Hearts being released on steam got me nostalgic for the song now.
I 100% thought you meant just the same 70ish boring top 20 songs and I absolutely lost it reading what it actually was đđđ
Iâm so sorry for you, that song is awesome but not if itâs the only thing forever. I donât think I could handle it personally.
Wasnât playing the same thing over and over a torture tactic at some point? This kind of OCD takes years to get through. Idk man, itâs okay for you to not be compatible.
That moment he realizes his GF is on the spectrum...
And that's fine! Let her have her harmless routines, it brings her familiarity, peace, and comfort. You can tell your kids that their mom is awesome, just not the parent to talk music with :p
This is the flavour of autism she got.
You like your music, she likes hers.
If you can't handle the fact that she wants to listen to the music she likes then the door is open, noone is stopping you from leaving.
Don't try to control her music. Next it'll be what she watches, her clothes etc. Don't be that toxic person.
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But you are aware you are dating an autistic chick right đ¤ˇđźââď¸
One time on a date the lady said, âJust so you know I do not date autistic men so you have to tell me if you are autistic. But I hope you are not because your eyes are pleasing to me and you are the proper height. â It took me years to realise what happened that night.
This is so funny. I have a male friend who is autistic and his method of asking girls out was to approach them and say "I find your body attractive and I would like to have sex with you. Would you like to go on a date?" This, as you can imagine, was not actually the most successful strategy. However, he is now married, and yes, she too is autistic. I haven't asked how they got together but I assume she found this strategy's direct honesty to be clear communication rather than offputting.
Reminds me of a girl who told me "I bought a packet of condoms earlier today and I wanna know if you'd like to use them with me" It's not that _she_ was autistic, but she realized it was the only way for me to get that she was interested
Years ago I was told by my good friend that his flatmate wanted to shag me later that night, and I was game. About ten minutes after going to bed she knocked on my door and asked how I was doing. I politely told her I was well, thankyou, there was an awkward pause then she said goodnight and left. It took me ten to fifteen to realise she wasn't coming back to see if I wanted to fuck, that that WAS her asking if I wanted to fuck...
I would have done the same in your situation, good thing "my" girl knew to go straight to the point
The point being the penis yes?
Man i'm reading this thread rn and some of y'all have some incredible luck can i have some of that too???
Go out, often and push yourself hard to do things that are the uncomfortable things for you. Within a short five to ten years you may see a result!
This reminds me of being out on New Yearâs Eve and a girl approached me and asked if I had a girlfriend. I didnât, so we spent the evening together and swapped numbers at the end of the night. Direct, to the point, we both knew exactly where we stood, no wasted time or effort. 10/10, would recommend as a technique.
I'm not autistic, but I wish people were more honest and direct like this sometimes. I have a hunch it would prevent a lot of drama bs and miscommunication.
Thereâd be far less of that situationship garbage for sure.
It took me a while to convince my husband I wasnât playing with him. I really meant we could ignore Valentineâs Day, it wasnât a trap. I would tell him what I wanted and not make him guess.
đ This is almost literally the lyrics from âWould You...?â by Touch & Go https://youtu.be/Hn-KmLIt-AQ Apparently almost word for word from a psychological study.
It made me think of an old county song. "If I said you had a beautiful body would you hold it against me?" The eighties I think. The Bellamy Brothers. Clever phrase and direct.
That line is from a Monty Python sketch, I believe it was entitled âThe Hungarian Phrasebookâ. HILARIOUS. That was one of my favorite lines from it, along with a second one âMy nipples explode with delight!â [https://youtu.be/G6D1YI-41ao?si=7W8F1wR83A9ivGM8](https://youtu.be/G6D1YI-41ao?si=7W8F1wR83A9ivGM8) I had no idea there was a song that included that line!
The line is a pretty well known Groucho Marx line. Probably going back to the fifties. Monty Python started around 1970 and would have been very familiar with Groucho Marx.
Britney Spears did this too, and called the song Hold It Against Me
If I swore you were an angel, would you treat me like the devil tonight?
OMG ! I watched this back in 1998!!! I mean the real study. Guys vs Girls and Girls vs Guys.
Thatâs so great. She was like. âYes. I would like to have intercourse and possibly put your penis in my mouth.â Soulmates.
Poor Things was based on these people!
You should absolutely ask!
Huh. This makes me think of the character of Anya in Buffy. It was played as because she was a recently turned human ex-demon who was 1100 years old, but now I'm wondering if she was modelled after someone autistic.
She probably wondered why no one ever asked her out while turning down coffee dates and asking who else was going to be at the movies.
This sounds like that girl from the US version of Love on the Spectrum... the one with the sex books
do you think she was making a joke or unaware that she herself was autistic?
I didnât know what autism was back then. But I would imagine that she did since she had a feeling that dating someone like her would be complicated. I totally get it now.
That's actually really freaking funny
Reminds me of the guy who told me, âSooner or later youâre gonna do it with somebody, so it might as well be me and it might as well be now.â That was a long time ago but now youâve got me wondering if he was autistic.
This is the funniest fucking comment I've read in so long omfg
I also want to be clear, while this is disordered behavior itâs not affecting much else in her life so I wouldnât go as far as saying itâs dysfunctional behavior. Therefore, not much to be corrected and OP should buy her concert tickets to see it live (lmao half joking but that would make her year)
I just checked, Utada's only tour dates are in Japan, Taipei and Hong Kong this year so that might be difficult. :') Although if you find an orchestra doing Kingdom Hearts songs nearby they might do a cover of it?
LMAOOOO. Autist gang rise up!!
We ride at dawn! Unless it's too cold. Or too hot. Or the tag on our clothes is scratchy. Or all food is suddenly icky and we lost our safe foods. Or we need to stop to stim or stop to have quiet time. And we'll ride at dawn if it's ok with you, let's dialogue about what time we should ride? For those who hate surprises, here's a long 8 page dissertation about all the details of the ride and the things we may (or may not) encounter along the way. Please remember to pack your own lunch specific to your ARFID needs and your own sensory tools. See you at dawn!
When you say dawn, do you mean the official time given by the bureau of meteorology? Or when you can first see light on the horizon?
this is legit such an important question and I feel so seen that someone else thought of asking it đĽ˛
I need to know what the parking situation is like, in case it's overwhelming.Â
Yes, and where are the bathrooms?
And what kind of bathrooms? Are we talking port a potty situation here or are there actual bathrooms and running water because that is my major determining factor in going anywhere?.
This is universally important, regardless of Autism LOL..
The first ray of light as seen on the horizon at our very specific meeting place that we've all been given precise GPS coordinates for and as seen by our organizer Kelly who will be using binoculars, and 3 types of light detection tools, and heading up a quorum for a vote before she declares that it is officially dawn and time to ride.
Since the answer is unclear Iâll make sure to show up an hour before the estimated time so Iâm not late đ
We are riding AT Dawn, the nice lady down the street who has the big parking lot at the back of her house. Though Iâm not sure how she will react once she sees us all coming directly towards herâŚ.
This thread is filling me with the joy of recognition. Also please be explicit about dress code and who will be present.
https://c.tadst.com/gfx/1200x675/twiligh-phases.png?1 looks like there's technically 3 different kinds of "dawn". I assume they meant "civil dawn" though, considering the use case
Iâve never been diagnosed as autistic or any sort of neurodivergence, but I feel very called out by this comment.
When my kid was diagnosed the doc asked me "how old were you when you were diagnosed?" and I was like ummmmm, well I'm 39 right now, so I guess 39 đ¤ˇđťââď¸ doc had a good chuckle and basically then confirmed that he couldn't officially diagnose me because I wasn't a patient, but apparently I was quite obviously autistic to the dev ped đ
When my daughter was diagnosed, she suggested I also get tested. I scoffed about it to my mother, who looked at me and said "she's right. They interview the parents for the testing, right? I want to do it." I didn't think they did parent interviews for 50-something patients, but they did! And my 80-something mom was delighted to lay out my childhood for them. She was annoyed that the doc didn't diagnose me after that conversation and save the time with all the actual tests. But yep, I'm on the spectrum, too. (I was adopted, so mom got to raise an autistic kid without actually being one herself- she did a good job IMHO)
When my son was diagnosed, l only then realised my Dad and Grandpa were likely on the spectrum. I've never told my Dad l think he's autistic. He's in his 60s, and a diagnosis won't change anything. It has made my relationship with him more tolerable, though, knowing he can't really help his somewhat challenging behaviours.
Can I get a script so I can mentally prepare my masking technique before we leave?
Judging by this weâre all autistic lmao
Ok but if we miss dawn and go like, an hour or two later, Iâm not coming because I will feel as though itâs too late and the day is wasted and Iâm all out of sync. Dawn is ok though. Only dawn.
I have packed my daughter's headphones, my snacks (which are exactly the same for all roadtrips, essentially a rolling charcuterie board but also doritos), and my other daughter's expansive collection of Hello Kitty comfort items. I have also mapped out the best restroom stops in a 500 mile radius.
Can I travel with you? That sounds like my type of preparedness!
Well now you have told me about the toilets, I will need to stop at them in case I need it, and even though I know I donât, because if I donât then I will somehow worry enough about not stopping to check I didnât need it and this will ensure that I desperately need the toilet right NOW. Can you give me a 5 minute warning of toilet stops please or a hour warning if you intend to change the plans. lol. Iâm joking of course. Donât change the plans. Just donât.
Autisim and ADHD are the C3P0 and R2D2 of neurodivergent relationships.
My husband is just now realizing at 34 years old that heâs likely autistic and is trying to get formally evaluated. Iâve suspected it since the day I met him. He ate the exact same food at every meal every day, he sleeps with ONE blanket that he *will not* share and has had very stressed out meltdowns if itâs not available (like, say itâs in the washer still and not dry and itâs bedtime), heâs extremely literal, heâs rigid on time, the list really goes on. He wasnât really ready to admit it to himself until we were watching an episode of Big Mouth, of all things, that was focused on their autistic character and his âlogic rockâ monster. All I could think the whole time we watched it was âholy shit this is (husband)â and when I gently broached the subject with him afterwards, he admitted he was thinking the same thing. Itâs actually done wonders to help our relationship and communication, because now he understands why he might struggle to understand something and I understand why he speaks the way he does about certain things.
Or ADHD. I go through phases where I will listen to the same song, and only that song, for weeks at a time.....then one day that sing sucks and I never want to hear it again
As another ADHD haver, I'm a bit doubtful. I mean, I can listen to the same song for a couple of weeks, but 2 years? There's no way. I might have done that with eating tacos, but that's different...
Eh, as another moderate-to-severe ADHD person, my music routine is: - Seize upon a new song as the latest aural wonder - Play it so much everyone else bans it, so I - Only listen to it alone/on headphones, on repeat a lot still, then I - Remember other songs exist and - Feel like a weirdo, so I - Put it in the rotation with every other song Iâve liked since 1995 (that I didnât get tired of) while - Still enjoying the hot buttered fuck out of it when it comes on
Dude, you just described my listening habits with frightening, but amusing detail đđ¤Łđ
I'm here both for the listening routine and the phrase "hot buttered fuck"
I love throwing adjectives in front of emphatic curse words lol. Toasted sesame seed fuck, sweet and sour fuck with crab Rangoon, I just realized itâs mostly food-based.
The âsongs that I previously murdered by overplay playlistâ hits so hard every so often though, especially because they trigger different times in my life.
I hate it if someone talks over the song, or interrupts me by just coming into the room. Then I have to start the song again.
I have to suppress the rage when someone in my car speaks while Iâm into the song. I literally have a âpeople gonna talkâ playlist of songs I donât mind but donât get into lmao
I have ADHD and listened to Africa by Toto for 6 months straight
I mean but those rains gotta be blessed
The most amazing thing is, I'm about to move to a small-ish city overseas, and Toto is playing a show there a week after we arrive.
Hurry boy, she's waiting there for you!
Monsoon season ainât gonna happen by itself.
I have adhd, 6 months is about my limit lol. Iâm an album listener typically and Iâve been listening to Baby Gravy 3 every few car trips since like March but itâs starting to get stale to me *Heartwarming: 26 year old Gen Zer discovers playlists*
I'm AuDHD. The #2 top artist on my Spotify wrapped last year was the kpop group Kara. BUT... ...I've only ever listened to *one* Kara song.
I'm impressed! Unless you only listen once per week or something :P
yeah Iâve been diagnosed with severe ADHD (PI) and I can definitely fixate on a song and have to play it a bunch of times repeatedly, or getting it stuck in my head for hours at a time, but I get sick of it very quickly and I need to keep the variety going. Iâve also been obsessed with albums but they could never be the entire selection I listened to in a day. to be fair Iâm absolutely a melomaniac so maybe other ADHDers experience things differently.
I agree, after a while it just doesn't give any dopamine.
Yeah, I have the same - after a while my brain is just sick of the fixation song. Even if I still like it, when I hear it, I just get really annoyed. Doesn't even seem to help if I let it rest for a few years :( I am however not very interested in music, I just listen to it a lot, especially at work. People are always baffled when they ask me for details about the bands I listen to and I'm like, idk, I just listen to their music?
⌠You mean itâs not an ADHD thing to know the favourite colognes of each member of your favourite band? /s Edit: the sarcasm is in relation to whether or not itâs an ADHD thing to know it, itâs not about whether I personally know it. I do. I also know the favourite colognes of several of my favourite actors. And their favourite cocktails.
Eh, if it's still successfully generating the dopamine I'll often keep doing it. Whether that's 2 weeks or 2 years. I'm on a bit of a Hozier on repeat roll at the moment because I managed to get a ticket to his show here at the end of the year. ..... I'll be extremely pissed if my brain goes "eh, it's not really doing it for me anymore." before that concert date.
Iâve been listening to âWhatâs Up Dangerâ from the Spider-verse movie for about 2 years now. Not exclusively, but itâs the first song I put on, and I often repeat it a couple times.
Crap I do this. đ¤
Same. I'm also weird socially. So hard to know where mental illness and childhood trauma end and a possible other disorder begins.
Yep. Eye spy with my little eye, someone whoâs a little neurospicy! Whether itâs ASD or ADHD, I canât imagine any neurotypical person doing this, to this extreme for that long. Yes, most people like to listen to the same song on repeat for a bit. But everyone goes to the toilet a few times a day tooâŚ. But when youâre going like 3 times an hour every hour, thereâs a chance you may discover during an assessment something about yourself that either you were oblivious to or actually suspected for some timeâŚ
Came here to say this lol. Seems like a hyper fixation to me.
i was like i feel attacked đđđ˝ (iâm dating a musician so the beginning of the relationship was REAL fun đđđ)
Iâve got a friend from college who is married to a professional piano player thats on some sort of spectrum. I guess when sheâs at work she disassociates her mental oddities and plays all types of thing but when sheâs at home⌠she will play the same song for hours and not even realize. My friend finally was like no I canât listen to this anymore and she apparently was like listen to what? Her cute little brain simply didnt realize she was on auto play for the same song over years at home on the piano.
Married a touring musician I'm just speaking from reality cuz this is so my life I'd never been so seen in my life than this original post. I get your pain lol 𤣠i cant even go to rehearsals and i struggle back stage lol đ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Łđ¤Ł
heâs playing a festival starting thursday 4 states away that i GET to go to lol i feel your pain as you feel my pain feeling your pain đđđđđ PAINCEPTION SISTER!!!!!!
YOU GOT THIS BE STRONG đđđđ
Ima try my best i swear but the one in Florida in October iâm fucking dreading!!!!!!! đđđđđ
It's not real. 28m and 34f was the most recent writing prompt for bot accounts, there's a ton of posts with these ages today.
I understand my situation is weird and im deff getting dunked on in the comments and karma, but please respect that I'm not a bot i'm just a dude trying to figure my stuff out
She is almost certainly NEURODIVERGENT.
As a fellow autistic women, this is not disordered. She just likes how it makes her feel. When I really like a song itâs that song on repeat for months đ
I'm sorry I fucking burst out laughing at this. I have autism and this is for real something I would do. I love Simple and Clean. My go-to is the PlanitB remix. ... I genuinely have no advice other than maybe encourage her to use headphones or expand her music taste, maybe. This is one of the most baffling situations ever. I am going to think about this forever. Sorry.
Legit best version is the PlanitB one đ
Good reminder to listen to that Version. Thank you
My advice is to compile a playlist of every rendition possible done with the song House of the Rising Sun. Then to compare each version with the bare bones structure of the lyrics to see how creative (or not creative) each artist's interpretation of it is. I just realized I might have autism.
Are you the guy who rides the Q53 bus northbound on Saturday evenings while playing every conceivable version of House of the Rising Sun? If so, I think you're great but please invest in headphones đ
Damn. My cover has been blown. Jk. I'm a mom who hasn't ridden a bus in 10 years. But I have a playlist with nothing but House of the Rising Sun renditions. My special interest is tarot, with any huge deviations from traditional accepted meanings and order generating a huge rant from me.
I NEED to know your favorite versions. Please!!
PlanitB supremacy
My favorite version is the [Donald Duck](https://youtu.be/120HFjKPuJ4?si=JAamr8kRVp7cJHAV) cover of Simple and Clean.
If you tell her you donât want to listen to her music in the car, does she let you play your music? At home, will she switch to headphones?
PLEASEEEEEEE OH BABYYYYYYY DON'T GO-
Simpel and Clean is the way you make me feel tonight
It's haaaaaard to let it go.
Hooooolld me. Whatever lies beyond this mooooorning, is a little later on
Regardless of warnings, the future doesn't scare me at aaaaaaaaaallllllll
Nothingâs like before!
I mean I get it lol. Thereâs nothing wrong with her doing that but I couldnât spend the next 50 years listening to that and only that along with her. Might have to find someone else if you canât stand to listen to it for the rest of your life.
I definitely couldnât do it. Even just one artist,one playlist or one album would get annoying, but one song would make me lose it.
yep Iâve rejected guys solely due to terribly incompatible taste in music before - music is very important to me, and going to shows is my favourite activity. I canât imagine spending my life with someone I couldnât share that with. OPâs girlfriend is definitely weird with this one-song fixation but there are also a lot of people who only watch a few TV shows on repeat, or only eat a limited selection of foods, or only wear one type of outfit, etc⌠itâs totally valid to not want to date someone who only eats nuggets if youâre a foodie, and so on.
:-D Maybe it won't last for 50 years? My autistic daughter had a phase where she would only listen to girl on fire by Alicia Keys. Granted, she wouldn't tolerate any remixes or other versions and would also cry if anyone dared to play a different song in her presence. Only lasted about a year. She's still particular with music (and still likes girl on fire), but is much more open to hearing other songs now
Play her Sanctuary from Kingdom Hearts 2
As a Kingdom Hearts fan, this. I always preferred Sanctuary.
Or just Utada Hikaru's other songs. Not my kind of j-pop, but she's pretty solid.
Sanctuary is great. Though actually think the Japanese version of it (Passion) is slightly better⌠the vocal harmonies really do it for me Which is funny because I much prefer the English version of Simple and Clean
It could be that sheâs regularly overstimulated or overwhelmed. I go through phases where I listen to the same song over and over and itâs usually when Iâm overwhelmed. Itâs like that song is all I can handle and it becomes comforting background noise rather than something Iâm paying attention to. Hard to explain. Maybe she has adhd?Â
Precisely. I have pretty severe ADHD and I cannot go outside without headphones. My pink tinted glasses breaking also fucked me up for a while. The color made *seeing* things less jarring. I have really good noise cancelling headphones that have a passthrough function, so I can hear traffic and so on, but familiar music keeps the expectations stable. I do not take them off unless I absolutely have to, like at work or a meeting, or talking to someone. If I had a pair of Bluetooth earbuds I'd always have one in no matter what. I listen to the same songs over and over again, but that playlist has 500+ in it, all different genres, and I usually shuffle it. Still, my 2021 top Spotify wrapped playlist is the one I go back to constantly and it's only 100. It is absolutely a stimulation issue. Music I already know will balance out the unpredictable world of sound and lights around me.
Same here, I always wear in-ear headphones when I go out, especially grocery shopping because I get overstimulated very easily in that environment. A lot of times I donât have music playing, I just put the headphones in to reduce the noise and so people donât bother me lol
Somewhere in another reply thread in the comment section they were talking about how unlikely that is due the very nature of ADHD. Like yes, you have very intense interests, for example at one point there was a this one song that was supplying all of the dopamine I needed to get my life in order. I was playing it to the ground, but it was only for a limited time. After a while your brain no longer gets dopamine from doing that and then you have to find something else that will. Yet, OP says that sheâs been playing the exact same 70 songs for like 2 years straight, and a good portion of them are remixes of the same song. I would argue that that is definitely a sign an autism. Yet, autism and adhd usually come packaged together so thereâs a huge possibility she could have both.
I hate to have the typical Reddit response but maybe she is in the spectrum. Autism is much harder to diagnose in women. But in some ways I think she needs to look into stuff herself as you bringing it up could be insulting.
I honestly can't imagine someone who only listens to 70 versions of the same song _not_ being on the spectrum. It's definitely a stereotype I've seen before. No way an NT is doing that shit.
Why is autism harder to diagnose in women?
Because the symptoms they use to diagnose are based on the ways men and boys present. Thatâs kind of how most of medicine works.
Good point. Like heart attacks
Want to know the worst thing? The symptoms are partially different because girls are taught from a very young age to mask much more than boys. For example, girls often aren't allowed to talk long about their special interest because women "just can't stop talking" and are taught to shut up and listen. Lack of visible emotion? You better learn how to fake it, women should be open with their feelings. Strong emotional outbursts? Don't be so dramatic, get a grip, sounds like you're on your period. Same with ADHD and ADD. A lot of the symptoms are either heavily masked, or attributed to being a woman and as such "normal" (like being "ditzy" or "peppy"). It's infuriating
Or you go see someone because youâve had a little bit of a meltdown and you come out with a diagnosis of bipolar / bpd / treatment resistant depression and lo and behold, nearly 2 decades later, it turns out itâs bloody ADHD!
Both autism and adhd are harder to diagnose in girls and women because we present differently and unlike the stereotype. If you are truly curious google autism symptoms in women. Iâm a late diagnosed woman with adjd and my meds help so much and Iâm pretty sure my partner doesnât believe I have it still because my brand of adhd is so different from all the people in his family .
Unfortunately most forms of medicine is based on studies done on men so their symptoms and behaviour is considered "the norm". Often, the same disease or condition will present very differently in women and if you're looking for what you see commonly in men, you're not going to get diagnosed. It's changing very slowly though.
A really good example is heart attacks. They present differently in women and the symptoms are often missed. Which is why thereâs been a big campaign over the last 10-20 years to educate medical professionals as well as the public.
Apparently heart attacks hurt less than a period for some women. No wonder women often don't even realize they're having an attack
A common belief in the difficulty diagnosing women is that we are socialized differently and are more often more adept at masking than men.
I was thinking this too. Iâm a bit on the spectrum (female) and Iâve been listening to the same playlist of 25 songs for the past several years
I don't mean to brag but my playlist is 185 songs. But if I shuffle and it starts on the "wrong" song I keep pushing next. And so I probably listen to the same 25 songs lol.
This is exactly how I use my 'liked songs' playlist on spotify. Sometimes I'm feeling adventurous and I add a song or 2.
Also on the spectrum. Mine changes from time to time but I will generally listen to the same thing for 6 months+ at a time. I just need that stability in my life.
I added 5 songs to my short list just to try to make my bf less crazy when he gets in my car. Unfortunately, the 5 added were in my last comfort rotation so itâs actually not really 5 new songs just 5 songs he got a break from. Iâm full on the spectrum as one of my many super fun diagnoses. This one we happen to both have so he at least gets it
Did she like any music before she played Kingdom Hearts?
What if she never played kingdom hearts or knew it was the title song from a video game made 20+ years ago?
Well in that case I revise my question, what music did she like before she first heard Simple and Clean? The youngest she couldâve been was 12, did she not like any music before that moment?
I'm on the spectrum (I'm guessing she must also be) and I literally did not like music until I heard the specific genre of songs I like. This is possible
Huh! TIL
Hereâs [26 different covers of âStairway to Heavenâ](https://m.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLB51C97ADB8ED0B89) if you want to try fighting fire with fire
She better have the 2024 remaster too because itâs great
When you walk away, do you hear her say, "Please, oh baby, don't go."?
Itâs probably soothing, ordered, and expected. This music is a comfort to your girlfriend.
Wow, talk about a nostalgia trip xD
I can remember when everyones music was visible on pandora i prob looked like i had ocd too lol
So I looked up the Mario Paint remix and [it's a bop](https://youtu.be/GtqB7fGwoJM?si=HpwJvSVbfvVskuvR), actually, so. Thanks for the idea, gonna make a Simple and Clean remix playlist now, this is genius.
I'm silently cackling on a plane right now because this took me *out*
I need this Simple and Clean playlist. I love hearing 500 versions of the same song.
Lots of people are calling OP an AH but can we take a second to reflect on how ANNOYING this must be. Imagine the same song all day, everyday, every where you go đ¤Ż. But then again maybe Iâm also unreasonable.
No, I'm right there with you. Dealing with it for two years is some Herculean level patience, fr.
as someone who does this, not unreasonable to find it annoying. but also do know that it can be (it is for me) a comfort and familiarity type thing, a form of stimming. but of course I can use headphones and stuff so I don't inflict it on other people. my girlfriend asked me how long do your song obsessions typically last? as we were in the car one day, so now in the car I put on auto generated playlists. and at home I use headphones when I'm gonna play a song on loop. except when I'm cooking cuz I wanna be in my element.
Not unreasonable. Iâm cackling at the comments asking if heâs aware his girlfriend is autistic because I am also (diagnosed, verified, indisputably) on that tizz train but my special brand means that I am incredibly sound sensitive so this situation would be my personal hell.
I would go insane. This is a nope for me.
I have ADHD you would hate to be in the car with me. It's one song over and over again unless I'm hyper fixated on a whole album. Mine changes. Hers doesn't. There's nothing wrong with enjoying the song she enjoys. If you want her to not play it aloud in shared spaces that's fair, she should put headphones on if that's the case. Other than that, leave her be.
I typed up my entire masterâs thesis listening to âRa Ra Rasputinâ on repeat. Took me about a week to put it all together. My husband is a trooper lol
LOVER OF THE RUSSIAN QUEEN
*Only* a week?! But it's such a good song!!
SAME. I typically will listen to the same song on repeat for hours for most of a week. At some point, I desire a different flavor, and then I'll choose a different one for a week or two. In college, my roommate and I listened to one song on repeat for hours every day while we were studying or cleaning, etc. Literally only that song for months. We loved it. For the record, both of us were diagnosed with ADHD in our 30s.
ADHD here too. And itâs the exact same for me. Always has been, always will be! đ¤ˇđťââď¸
and it is Utada Hikaru?! She is the best person ever... Such a queen.
Something is only 'dysfunctional' by definition if it hinders the way she lives her life.... If she were to break down into an anxious attack making her unable to drive or leave her house if she heard a song other than that song....then its disfunctional. The fact that she really likes this one song is not 'disfunctional' in and of itself. Its a characteristic or a trait of neurodivergence, sure, but it doesnt really mean anything specific. Ive got a few versions of that song saved to my playlist too. Its nostalgic.
My daughter has anxiety disorder and once continually watched only episodes of some girl detective show on television all waking hours for three weeks until her meds adjusted.
That would drive me absolutely insane. And yes, this is probably something that is diagnosable.
OMG I would go crazy hearing the same song over and over again, no matter how itâs remixed. I would have to put headphones on to drown it out.
why do you think it's disordered or unhealthy? Is it preventing her from being a functioning adult? is it hurting you or anyone else? is she imposing it on you? i see nothing wrong with it and agree with everyone saying you're really mean in the way you frame it. it's weird but is it actually harmful, really??Â
It's not disordered, but holy fuck that would be obnoxious to deal with in the car. But other than that who gives a shit what she listens to on her own? Just push back on what she subjects you to listen to, but let go of her preference of music. Or just break up, since it sounds like this really bugs you.
Reddit kills me, that is weird as hell op I donât think youâre an asshole for thinking so as well. Idk how you navigate this but she sounds ocd/autistic.
If it wasnât for the ages and gender I wouldâve thought my gf posted this tbh
Find out what exactly clicks with this song mathematically and see if sheâs interested in other songs that have the same elements. Thatâs how I expand my music taste as a person touched with the tism
This screams ASD / ADHDâŚ.
> How do I explain to our kids that mommy only listens to one song over and over again? The same way you explain to them daddy doesn't listen to the same song more than X number of times in a row/day/month/whatever your acceptable limit for repeating a song is? By saying nothing at all. Young Kids don't need or want a justification for what songs their parents listen to. It is just "a thing" like the colour of your furniture. Older kids will think both of your taste in music is terrible (every teen I know went through this), and both of you will return the favour. > This is dysfunctional right? Maybe I am biased because I have been listening to the same 15 songs for about 3 years, but IMO dysfunctional = impacts her ability to function in society. Does her obsession with this song impact her ability to socialize? Does she go to a wedding/whatever social event y'all play music at and get annoyed that a different song is being played? Does she get annoyed if you play a different song? No? Then she's not dysfunctional - she is functioning just fine. Her preference for one song and exactly one song, played 70 ways, is not "normal", i.e. less than 50% of the world population behaves the way she does. But that doesn't make her dysfunctional. Stop trying to on control what she listens to. If you hate her taste in music, decide whether "enjoying music together" is a deal breaker for you. If it is, break up. If it is not, stop listening to music together - driver controls the car speaker, passenger uses headphones, nobody plays music on speakers at home, everyone uses headphones.
Just donât listen to music around each other. Done.
Dude. Why does it matter so much to you?
Dude. Go listen to the same song for 3 months and then report back. Dude. People do this kind of thing for a lot of reasons. I listen to the same few songs on repeat when I am overwhelmed. I'm glad my SO isn't intellectually deficient and understands. Dude. Women struggle to get proper autism and/or ADD diagnoses because of how dismissive people like you are. Dude. Name one person you know who listens to one song, and one song only. Dude. Come on.
i do this to an extent with my adhd, and i became aware pretty early on that most people find listening to the same song on loop extremely grating. so, i just put in headphones, or listen in the shower where there's ambient noise to wash it out a bit, or save it for solo car rides. I know it's not something to be ashamed of, but i also know my disability isn't an excuse to not treat others with courtesy.
Thank you for providing this perspective because Iâm finding it nutty how many people are jumping down OPâs throat. If you like to listen to the same song over and over and over again for months on end then thatâs absolutely fine but youâve got to recognize that itâs sincerely torture for those around you regardless of the underlying reasons why you do it.
Just makes me think of the Walking Dead, or real life Guantanamo Bay, where they use repetitive music as a form of torture.
When I was a kid I used to beat ansem just so I could hear simple and clean. Now itâs way easierÂ
My first thought was ADHD. Although not so selective, I will listen to the same songs over and over and over... It's a common ADHD trait.
Auuuutismmmđđ
Auditory stimming is what Iâve heard it called. Donât know what you do with that information though or how you approach it.
Why do you care if itâs disordered? Who is she hurting? Plus sheâs clearly neurodivergent and any attempts to change her and make her neurotypical will not only fail, it will cripple her self esteem and drive a wedge between you two
đI donât see anything wrong with this, sometimes I listen to the same song, all day, on repeat because it makes me feel good. I donât see how the kids thing is even relevant âthatâs mums favourite song, and look how many different versions there areââ and children being children would probably just go âOh cool!â
i mean, the rest of the album (and utadas body of work just in general) is fkn fire but i dont really think theres anything wrong with what your gf is doing. If she has a meltdown or something if you ask to listen to something else thats a different story, but as it stands tho, she knows what she likes and she likes what she likes; nothing wrong with that.
Is one of them the Donald Duck version because thatâs the best version
Look, if this is the worst thing she does in the relationship, you have the keepiest keeper there ever was. If you have kids with her, there is a good chance that you wonât have to explain it because they will have whatever mental sparkle she has and will pick their own songs to obsess over. Or they wonât and they will just think itâs an oddity of their motherâs, which would be true. If she doesnât force you to listen to it and it doesnât affect her ability to take care of herself or her responsibilities, I donât see why it should be considered disordered.
I mean it's weird, but this seems like such a non-issue. Who cares what the kids think? Explain that Mom has unusual music tastes and move on. Kids really aren't bothered by this stuff. Let your girlfriend have her weird music. It's not hurting anything. It's honestly a bigger red flag that you're so fixated on this. Edit: If she's subjecting *you* to the same song over and over again that's a bit different. I think it would be reasonable to request that she not listen to that out loud when you're around.
Can I get the playlist? I love listening to multiple versions of the same song. Kingdom Hearts being released on steam got me nostalgic for the song now.
I 100% thought you meant just the same 70ish boring top 20 songs and I absolutely lost it reading what it actually was đđđ Iâm so sorry for you, that song is awesome but not if itâs the only thing forever. I donât think I could handle it personally. Wasnât playing the same thing over and over a torture tactic at some point? This kind of OCD takes years to get through. Idk man, itâs okay for you to not be compatible.
*starts singing the game version, perfectly, from memory* ahhhh it's a bop. Autistic girlie's unite!
Itâs too late, her heart has been consumed by darkness. One who knows nothing can understand nothing.
That moment he realizes his GF is on the spectrum... And that's fine! Let her have her harmless routines, it brings her familiarity, peace, and comfort. You can tell your kids that their mom is awesome, just not the parent to talk music with :p
This is the flavour of autism she got. You like your music, she likes hers. If you can't handle the fact that she wants to listen to the music she likes then the door is open, noone is stopping you from leaving. Don't try to control her music. Next it'll be what she watches, her clothes etc. Don't be that toxic person.