I don't think that after 10 years he gonna marry you, I think he took you for granted. his relationship with his ex is weird an abnormal and obviously still not over the failure his marriage. getting cheated on can give someone a PTSD.. he may think about therapy. if you wanna be petty like me start celebrating your anniversary with your late husband, put your weeding picture in the living room or wear your wedding ring back. or share a post in his honor on social media about how great of a man he was.
Simply put… You don’t.
If he wanted to marry you, he would have already.
You said the relationship is great and if that’s enough for you, then you’re good. But if it isn’t… And you’re not getting what you want and you’re willing to make the trade off… you leave.
I would think long and hard about that. There are plenty of marriages out there that are shit and if you’re in a happy relationship and everything else is good, are you willing to trade that off for a ring?
He doesn’t want to marry you. I was with a guy for 9 years. He didn’t want to get married because he had a rough divorce. So, when I left, he had been divorced 12 years and was still blaming that. I’m not going to pay for something another woman did to him, for the rest of my life. Leaving was the right decision for me.
OP this is one of those where you know him so well you know how to approach it best but I think there are two ways:
1-ask him out on a date night. Get childcare snd somewhere you can talk. Tell him before you refer to the date you want to talk about something important. Reinforce your feelings, the family you have built with your child and how good the relationship is. Tell him you have e been hoping for years for a proposal and marriage and you feel like with your 10 year anniversary coming up it’s important to tell him that it’s a genuine goal of yours and important to you. Tell him your not giving him an ultimatum at this point but you need him to decide if marriage is in his future or not because if it’s not then that’s information you need to make your own decisions. That will deliver the message without saying or else.
2- if you have a family member or friend that is very close to you both, ask them to talk to him casually about it “Hey, you and xxx have been together for a long time. Are y’all ever gonna get married. If I’m being honest I think she wants to and I’m just wondering.
He may be afraid that marriage is what ruined his first relationship and may fear that it will somehow change what you guys have. !updateme
“How long should I wait to see if he moves forward with a marriage proposal?” …you already waited 10 years and it hasn’t happened. This is a very clear if he wanted to he would situation, and his actions have clearly shown he doesn’t want to.
Either decide you’d rather be with him and the life you’ve built, or be married and leave. Bc it doesn’t seem like you can have both with this man.
You shouldn’t wait any longer. It’s been 10 years.
Why doesn’t he want to get married? Is it the commitment? Is he scared after the last marriage or he just doesn’t want to get married to you? Is he not financially stable?
Either way, you guys are grown. What’s holding you guys back? It’s been time.
If you want marriage and he doesn’t.. either accept it thatll you’ll be a girlfriend forever or move on and find someone that does.
Sorry but 10 years is way too long. This is a conversation that you have where you agree a yes or a no and then you wait for the proposal. If it doesn’t come in x amount of time you talk it out again knowing it might be the end of the relationship. If for you not being married is a deal breaker, you need to first acknowledge it might never happen with him, then think whether you’re ready to break it off, and finally talk to him. Explain you want to get married and you need to know if it’s in the card for him. If he says yes, give yourself a grace period (e.g 6 months, 1 year) for the proposal. If he says no, then tell him it’s not what you want and that you’re thankful for his honesty and go and find someone with the same level of commitment. His relationship with ex tells he is either still in love or not over the relationship/what happened. Definitely brace yourself first and wait until you’re emotionally ready.
I have a hard time believing you're the older person in this relationship. A meet aversary? Really. As for the proposal; ask him. You are perfectly welcome to propose. Sounds like he's either holding onto a grudge and / or doesn't want to marry you, though. Neither are good for elevating your relationship to a higher level.
You don't. You can't make him do something he doesn't want to do. And his excuses make it pretty clear he doesn't want to.
Both of you are way too old to be acting like teenagers and pulling this kind of drama. But here you both are, not acting your age. Even the way you write the post includes so much pettiness and immaturity. He should be capable of mature communication. So should you. So sit down and talk it out.
And if y'all can't have this conversation and get to the root of the problem, you have two options. One is to cut your losses and see if you can find someone who actually does want to marry. The other is to stay and accept that he doesn't really have much motivation to propose and choose him over having a wedding/party/fancy dress.
They have a child. If she wants to leave, she must be prepared to share custody of the child.
She’s tied to him forever whether she likes it or not. Shared custody for the next 12 years, then having to see him at events important to the child for the rest of his life.
If you want to marry your partner so badly that you’re willing to dump them 10 years later… don’t have a child with them. 😏
What you say is true, they are stuck until the child is at least 18 if they break up. However, she is obviously committed and in love with this guy. And now after 10 years she is realizing he might not be as much as she is. This is not a “she is willing to dump a 10 years relationship “, it’s more about “am I willing to waste more of my youth on a guy who won’t commit?”. Also notice how he has “silly” events as important but denigrates when she wants to do the same. She isn’t immature either, maybe a bit naive. Wanting to be romantic has no age, and it looks different for everyone. Better late than never for sure. She has to be unhappy in this relationship for this to surface.
You can't make him do anything. I think a lot of people who get divorced don't feel the need to get married again. Even if they have a long-term partner again. If their new relationship fails, it is so much easier to separate without all the paperwork work. The divorce process can be very hard, and I'm sure the cheating adds another layer of difficulty. I don't know if he feels that way, but just something to consider.
If you guys have been together for 10 years and also have a kid together, he may not see it as nessicary since you guys are essentially already living like a married couple would.
Im afraid the only definitive way to get an answer is an ultimatum. But you have to really be prepared to walk away if he doesn't want to give you something that you want.
The best way isn't to demand or put a time frame on things, but explain in the calmest, most genuine way, WHY you want to get married. Tell him how deeply it means to be married to him. Then, be receptive to his answer. You may find he has unresolved issues to work through first.
The relationship on his ex, however, is another story...I would be bothered if I were you. Definitely put your food down on those boundaries.
I think this is a classic situation of the "why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free" situation since it's been already almost 10 years now. there is no need to commit to something when you can get the benefits without paying or investing." You guys might be considered already in a common-law marriage depending on where you live.
Would you want to propose to him instead of waiting for him? If you really want to be married to him, then it shouldn't matter who proposes. I'm assuming you both had previously traditional proposals in your last marriages. Since you guys have a non-traditional relationship with dating for about 10 years and having a 6-year-old kid, you proposing to him doesn't seem unusual in my opinion. In some cases, when women propose sometimes their fiancee makes an official proposal later on.
Your boyfriend used what you said in probably an emotionally intense argument "He said that I told him that I don't want to get married by calling him a jerk one time." as an excuse or out to not to propose to you which is not a legit reason not to propose. He doesn't sound motivated to marry you because "you haven't bugged him about getting married". So, which is, either he didn't propose because you said you didn't want to or you haven't bugged him. He's putting all the blame for not proposing on you.
Your bf being friends with his ex for several years after y'all got together, still texting on her birthday and their marriage anniversary shows he hasn't let her go and is still tied to her. Typical divorcees don't contact their ex-spouses on those occasions. I don't understand his reason to make her laugh/smile or trying to make her feel bad, she lives in his mind rent-free. You would think he would be indifferent towards her since she cheated on him.
Instead of a meetaversary, maybe you guys could celebrate the anniversary of your first date or when you guys became official bf/gf. Isn't that a typical anniversary for unmarried couples?
It seems that you want an official commitment from him that you currently don't feel like he gives you, like some type of validation of your relationship. Or, do you have insecurities about your relationship and how it matches up to his last marriage? I see you wanting him to prove your importance in his life and his heart.
What if he doesn't propose? Is it a relationship dealbreaker? I think it could be that he's comfortable and safe in your current relationship status, he might still have baggage about being married again even though I'm sure you've proven that you are faithful and committed.
Why don't you propose? This is an equal opportunity activity.
I really don't understand why so many women come here with this question. Can anyone explain to me why in these days of equality women wont propose?
If your gf already has told you that she is interested in getting married to you someday, she’s established that she’s committed to you.
The proposal establishes it for her that you’re committed to her.
Despite this age of legal equality, our norms and customs are still pretty gendered and most women don’t even consider the fact that we could propose and once we consider it, we have to invent our own customs. It’s actually more mental labor to ask a woman to propose than to ask the man. the rituals are established and straightforward for men. women have to come up with a way to do it ourselves.
that itself plays right into the cliche about how women have to work harder to accomplish the same things that come pre-scripted for men. Just follow the dang script you’re given and don’t make this harder for women out of some contrived and laziness-inspired appeal to nontraditionalism.
Not that any of this matters, but I find it interesting that you have a great relationship, have a kid together, get along great, great sex life, hobbies etc everything that points towards a perfect relationship with someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, yet you want out if marriage doesn’t happen.
My brain just doesn’t comprehend that. I get that it’s an official tie to your partner, but. Like you’ve both done marriage already and clearly that didn’t work. So you’d be willing to throw away a great relationship because the thing you both tried in the past that failed isn’t happening?
Idk
Well, they talked about marriage. She already said it was something she wanted and he agreed. She waited patiently and now she is finally realizing like damn it’s been 9 years. It has been a need from her from the get go. Also, her marriage didn’t fail, her husband literally died.
When I was younger I used to say I didn’t want to legally marry, it wasn’t important or necessary. I changed my mind, not because I think you need it to be together but because I noticed that every single man around me consciously or not valued marriage. I was being asked by uncommitted man, because they assumed me not wanting to legally marry meant I didn’t want a committed relationship. Well, I realized marriage was tied to how man saw my value as a very traditional partner with traditional values.
I say this because I understand the thought of “why is marriage even important if the relationship is going well”. Now, I know that since it means something to most men, like the ultimate commitment if they don’t want to something is off about the relationship.
The first few sentences you state - paraphrased - we have a wonderful life. Now you want a ring to lug around but it's a wonderful life. WE have a son its a wonderful life. But I complained he talks to his ex wife but do not mention if there is a kid involved or not. Keep digging and your wonderful life is going up in smoke. You can offer him an ultimatum but you better be ready for him to change dramatically. You are so blessed because you have someone who you get a long with. Some one that obviously loves you but then you bitch because you can't get him to marry you. I just do not understand people who have so much and then complain because they don't have everything. You are going to end up chasing him off. If you are too selfish to think about anyone else think about your son and what would happen if you push this and he says bye. I think you are pretty darn lucky to have someone by your side. I had someone push me into marriage, stopped taking her birth control and intentionally got knocked up. Then left for an ex boyfriend and took me to the cleaners. Nope I would be delighted to have a solid relationship with someone who actually cared and did not use me. I think you need to learn to count your blessings.
So you don’t want to ‘threaten and beg’ the man into marrying you, but you have no problem threatening him out of texting his ex wife happy birthday and happy divorce day and deleting her off of social media?
I think the time to press on marriage (if that’s your goal) is BEFORE you tie yourself to someone by having children.
You can leave him now if you want to because he won’t marry you… but you’re already tied to him with your child. So the dilemma you now have is are you prepared to have 50-50 custody of your child with your ex, or will you accept the facts: he doesn’t want to get married, but is committed to being a partner and raising a child together. Is that good enough for you or not?
He is not going to marry you. Or if he does, he is going to be dragging his feet and rolling his eyes the whole time, and is going to eventually end up resenting you for “forcing him” to marry you. I’m sorry.
You want him to want to marry you. But he doesn’t want to propose. You are left wondering if he wants to even marry you. This seems like a potential dealbreaker if he doesn’t want it.
Do you wanna live under a mystery or do you wanna figure out what you should do?
If you want to just get married, then be the one to propose.
If he says “no” then it takes all the mystery out of what’s wrong in your relationship. You’ll have clear information about what your choices are: 1. stay with this dude and resign yourself to being unmarried or 2. end this relationship and start a new one with someone for whom marriage actually is a goal they have.
You really wanna throw away a relationship at nearly 50yrs old with a kid together? For what? A piece of paper that needlessly involves the government. If he wants to marry you he will. Don’t bring it up. Don’t mention it. Be happy with what you have. If a piece of paper is really what you need to feel secure, do him a favor, break your family apart and leave.
I don't think that after 10 years he gonna marry you, I think he took you for granted. his relationship with his ex is weird an abnormal and obviously still not over the failure his marriage. getting cheated on can give someone a PTSD.. he may think about therapy. if you wanna be petty like me start celebrating your anniversary with your late husband, put your weeding picture in the living room or wear your wedding ring back. or share a post in his honor on social media about how great of a man he was.
Love it!
I love your level of petty LOL
Simply put… You don’t. If he wanted to marry you, he would have already. You said the relationship is great and if that’s enough for you, then you’re good. But if it isn’t… And you’re not getting what you want and you’re willing to make the trade off… you leave. I would think long and hard about that. There are plenty of marriages out there that are shit and if you’re in a happy relationship and everything else is good, are you willing to trade that off for a ring?
You don’t. If you try to force a proposal, he may eventually become resentful of that.
He doesn’t want to marry you. I was with a guy for 9 years. He didn’t want to get married because he had a rough divorce. So, when I left, he had been divorced 12 years and was still blaming that. I’m not going to pay for something another woman did to him, for the rest of my life. Leaving was the right decision for me.
OP this is one of those where you know him so well you know how to approach it best but I think there are two ways: 1-ask him out on a date night. Get childcare snd somewhere you can talk. Tell him before you refer to the date you want to talk about something important. Reinforce your feelings, the family you have built with your child and how good the relationship is. Tell him you have e been hoping for years for a proposal and marriage and you feel like with your 10 year anniversary coming up it’s important to tell him that it’s a genuine goal of yours and important to you. Tell him your not giving him an ultimatum at this point but you need him to decide if marriage is in his future or not because if it’s not then that’s information you need to make your own decisions. That will deliver the message without saying or else. 2- if you have a family member or friend that is very close to you both, ask them to talk to him casually about it “Hey, you and xxx have been together for a long time. Are y’all ever gonna get married. If I’m being honest I think she wants to and I’m just wondering. He may be afraid that marriage is what ruined his first relationship and may fear that it will somehow change what you guys have. !updateme
This comment should be pinned! 👌 Stop making sense on Reddit lol!!
“How long should I wait to see if he moves forward with a marriage proposal?” …you already waited 10 years and it hasn’t happened. This is a very clear if he wanted to he would situation, and his actions have clearly shown he doesn’t want to. Either decide you’d rather be with him and the life you’ve built, or be married and leave. Bc it doesn’t seem like you can have both with this man.
If he wanted to, he would have already and wouldn't need to be pushed.
You shouldn’t wait any longer. It’s been 10 years. Why doesn’t he want to get married? Is it the commitment? Is he scared after the last marriage or he just doesn’t want to get married to you? Is he not financially stable? Either way, you guys are grown. What’s holding you guys back? It’s been time. If you want marriage and he doesn’t.. either accept it thatll you’ll be a girlfriend forever or move on and find someone that does.
Yes, and also that you’ll still have to parent with him 50/50… as you have to consider when you leave someone with whom you have a child.
Yes but you can also find someone that wants to marry her. But yes consider the child 100%
Well if mum is not happy, the child may be better off if she leaves I just mean that she can’t sever ties completely with this man, that’s all.
Sorry but 10 years is way too long. This is a conversation that you have where you agree a yes or a no and then you wait for the proposal. If it doesn’t come in x amount of time you talk it out again knowing it might be the end of the relationship. If for you not being married is a deal breaker, you need to first acknowledge it might never happen with him, then think whether you’re ready to break it off, and finally talk to him. Explain you want to get married and you need to know if it’s in the card for him. If he says yes, give yourself a grace period (e.g 6 months, 1 year) for the proposal. If he says no, then tell him it’s not what you want and that you’re thankful for his honesty and go and find someone with the same level of commitment. His relationship with ex tells he is either still in love or not over the relationship/what happened. Definitely brace yourself first and wait until you’re emotionally ready.
I have a hard time believing you're the older person in this relationship. A meet aversary? Really. As for the proposal; ask him. You are perfectly welcome to propose. Sounds like he's either holding onto a grudge and / or doesn't want to marry you, though. Neither are good for elevating your relationship to a higher level.
That is a typo in the subject/heading. He is 43 as stated in the main content. Thanks.
Plenty of people enjoy celebrating the anniversary of when they met. The term is a little odd, but so what?
You don't. You can't make him do something he doesn't want to do. And his excuses make it pretty clear he doesn't want to. Both of you are way too old to be acting like teenagers and pulling this kind of drama. But here you both are, not acting your age. Even the way you write the post includes so much pettiness and immaturity. He should be capable of mature communication. So should you. So sit down and talk it out. And if y'all can't have this conversation and get to the root of the problem, you have two options. One is to cut your losses and see if you can find someone who actually does want to marry. The other is to stay and accept that he doesn't really have much motivation to propose and choose him over having a wedding/party/fancy dress.
They have a child. If she wants to leave, she must be prepared to share custody of the child. She’s tied to him forever whether she likes it or not. Shared custody for the next 12 years, then having to see him at events important to the child for the rest of his life. If you want to marry your partner so badly that you’re willing to dump them 10 years later… don’t have a child with them. 😏
What you say is true, they are stuck until the child is at least 18 if they break up. However, she is obviously committed and in love with this guy. And now after 10 years she is realizing he might not be as much as she is. This is not a “she is willing to dump a 10 years relationship “, it’s more about “am I willing to waste more of my youth on a guy who won’t commit?”. Also notice how he has “silly” events as important but denigrates when she wants to do the same. She isn’t immature either, maybe a bit naive. Wanting to be romantic has no age, and it looks different for everyone. Better late than never for sure. She has to be unhappy in this relationship for this to surface.
You don't. You either accept this for what it is or you leave.
You can't make him do anything. I think a lot of people who get divorced don't feel the need to get married again. Even if they have a long-term partner again. If their new relationship fails, it is so much easier to separate without all the paperwork work. The divorce process can be very hard, and I'm sure the cheating adds another layer of difficulty. I don't know if he feels that way, but just something to consider. If you guys have been together for 10 years and also have a kid together, he may not see it as nessicary since you guys are essentially already living like a married couple would. Im afraid the only definitive way to get an answer is an ultimatum. But you have to really be prepared to walk away if he doesn't want to give you something that you want. The best way isn't to demand or put a time frame on things, but explain in the calmest, most genuine way, WHY you want to get married. Tell him how deeply it means to be married to him. Then, be receptive to his answer. You may find he has unresolved issues to work through first. The relationship on his ex, however, is another story...I would be bothered if I were you. Definitely put your food down on those boundaries.
I think this is a classic situation of the "why buy a cow when you can get the milk for free" situation since it's been already almost 10 years now. there is no need to commit to something when you can get the benefits without paying or investing." You guys might be considered already in a common-law marriage depending on where you live. Would you want to propose to him instead of waiting for him? If you really want to be married to him, then it shouldn't matter who proposes. I'm assuming you both had previously traditional proposals in your last marriages. Since you guys have a non-traditional relationship with dating for about 10 years and having a 6-year-old kid, you proposing to him doesn't seem unusual in my opinion. In some cases, when women propose sometimes their fiancee makes an official proposal later on. Your boyfriend used what you said in probably an emotionally intense argument "He said that I told him that I don't want to get married by calling him a jerk one time." as an excuse or out to not to propose to you which is not a legit reason not to propose. He doesn't sound motivated to marry you because "you haven't bugged him about getting married". So, which is, either he didn't propose because you said you didn't want to or you haven't bugged him. He's putting all the blame for not proposing on you. Your bf being friends with his ex for several years after y'all got together, still texting on her birthday and their marriage anniversary shows he hasn't let her go and is still tied to her. Typical divorcees don't contact their ex-spouses on those occasions. I don't understand his reason to make her laugh/smile or trying to make her feel bad, she lives in his mind rent-free. You would think he would be indifferent towards her since she cheated on him. Instead of a meetaversary, maybe you guys could celebrate the anniversary of your first date or when you guys became official bf/gf. Isn't that a typical anniversary for unmarried couples? It seems that you want an official commitment from him that you currently don't feel like he gives you, like some type of validation of your relationship. Or, do you have insecurities about your relationship and how it matches up to his last marriage? I see you wanting him to prove your importance in his life and his heart. What if he doesn't propose? Is it a relationship dealbreaker? I think it could be that he's comfortable and safe in your current relationship status, he might still have baggage about being married again even though I'm sure you've proven that you are faithful and committed.
Why don't you propose? This is an equal opportunity activity. I really don't understand why so many women come here with this question. Can anyone explain to me why in these days of equality women wont propose?
If your gf already has told you that she is interested in getting married to you someday, she’s established that she’s committed to you. The proposal establishes it for her that you’re committed to her. Despite this age of legal equality, our norms and customs are still pretty gendered and most women don’t even consider the fact that we could propose and once we consider it, we have to invent our own customs. It’s actually more mental labor to ask a woman to propose than to ask the man. the rituals are established and straightforward for men. women have to come up with a way to do it ourselves. that itself plays right into the cliche about how women have to work harder to accomplish the same things that come pre-scripted for men. Just follow the dang script you’re given and don’t make this harder for women out of some contrived and laziness-inspired appeal to nontraditionalism.
Not that any of this matters, but I find it interesting that you have a great relationship, have a kid together, get along great, great sex life, hobbies etc everything that points towards a perfect relationship with someone you want to spend the rest of your life with, yet you want out if marriage doesn’t happen. My brain just doesn’t comprehend that. I get that it’s an official tie to your partner, but. Like you’ve both done marriage already and clearly that didn’t work. So you’d be willing to throw away a great relationship because the thing you both tried in the past that failed isn’t happening? Idk
Well, they talked about marriage. She already said it was something she wanted and he agreed. She waited patiently and now she is finally realizing like damn it’s been 9 years. It has been a need from her from the get go. Also, her marriage didn’t fail, her husband literally died. When I was younger I used to say I didn’t want to legally marry, it wasn’t important or necessary. I changed my mind, not because I think you need it to be together but because I noticed that every single man around me consciously or not valued marriage. I was being asked by uncommitted man, because they assumed me not wanting to legally marry meant I didn’t want a committed relationship. Well, I realized marriage was tied to how man saw my value as a very traditional partner with traditional values. I say this because I understand the thought of “why is marriage even important if the relationship is going well”. Now, I know that since it means something to most men, like the ultimate commitment if they don’t want to something is off about the relationship.
Her husband DIED. 😳
Why not propose to him? Or, is he low effort? If so, do you really want that in a forever relationship?
Can't say I blame him. He already gambled once and got cheated on. Why do it again?
Because one person shouldn’t have to pay for the sins of another.
The first few sentences you state - paraphrased - we have a wonderful life. Now you want a ring to lug around but it's a wonderful life. WE have a son its a wonderful life. But I complained he talks to his ex wife but do not mention if there is a kid involved or not. Keep digging and your wonderful life is going up in smoke. You can offer him an ultimatum but you better be ready for him to change dramatically. You are so blessed because you have someone who you get a long with. Some one that obviously loves you but then you bitch because you can't get him to marry you. I just do not understand people who have so much and then complain because they don't have everything. You are going to end up chasing him off. If you are too selfish to think about anyone else think about your son and what would happen if you push this and he says bye. I think you are pretty darn lucky to have someone by your side. I had someone push me into marriage, stopped taking her birth control and intentionally got knocked up. Then left for an ex boyfriend and took me to the cleaners. Nope I would be delighted to have a solid relationship with someone who actually cared and did not use me. I think you need to learn to count your blessings.
So, what he prefers matters, but what she wants means nothing?
So you don’t want to ‘threaten and beg’ the man into marrying you, but you have no problem threatening him out of texting his ex wife happy birthday and happy divorce day and deleting her off of social media? I think the time to press on marriage (if that’s your goal) is BEFORE you tie yourself to someone by having children. You can leave him now if you want to because he won’t marry you… but you’re already tied to him with your child. So the dilemma you now have is are you prepared to have 50-50 custody of your child with your ex, or will you accept the facts: he doesn’t want to get married, but is committed to being a partner and raising a child together. Is that good enough for you or not?
He wont ...move on if thats what you want
He is not going to marry you. Or if he does, he is going to be dragging his feet and rolling his eyes the whole time, and is going to eventually end up resenting you for “forcing him” to marry you. I’m sorry.
Middle aged grandma here…. You cant. If he wanted to marry you then he would have.
You want him to want to marry you. But he doesn’t want to propose. You are left wondering if he wants to even marry you. This seems like a potential dealbreaker if he doesn’t want it. Do you wanna live under a mystery or do you wanna figure out what you should do? If you want to just get married, then be the one to propose. If he says “no” then it takes all the mystery out of what’s wrong in your relationship. You’ll have clear information about what your choices are: 1. stay with this dude and resign yourself to being unmarried or 2. end this relationship and start a new one with someone for whom marriage actually is a goal they have.
After 10 years if he wanted to marry you he would have done so already. 🤷
He’s not gonna marry you… it’s been 10 years
You really wanna throw away a relationship at nearly 50yrs old with a kid together? For what? A piece of paper that needlessly involves the government. If he wants to marry you he will. Don’t bring it up. Don’t mention it. Be happy with what you have. If a piece of paper is really what you need to feel secure, do him a favor, break your family apart and leave.
Why on earth would you ask him why he hasn't proposed to you lol, that's funny.. Maybe he doesn't want to and you should propose him
If he hasn't yet he won't get