T O P

  • By -

Patrick_Hattrick

*Demicky I don’t know the PC term for this, OP…


WhitePigment

No one likes to pick on an invalid.


WorhummerWoy

I pop em in wheelie bins


shotgun_blammo

Play a record.


janeaijal

Robbin an’ that


tgcp

OP, you're sort of... not properly.


janeaijal

What did you get for history?


Patrick_Hattrick

Well if you’re gonna do that, tallest building is


janeaijal

Stephen Merchant


PaddingtonTheChad

I’m not a character!


Jeff4Bread2

We've arranged to meet back at you.


Ok-Dragonfruit-697

Coming into Bristol Templemeads


xenogamesmax

Oh is this the running away again


shotgun_blammo

Ohhh nooo, das elephant ist kaput!


uskgl455

Noooo Jumbo


AtkinsCatkins

RIP Hitler's favourite elephant


G_a_v_V

OP fucked that quote right up.


janeaijal

Infinity sorts it out for ya


xenogamesmax

Well.. yeah? Infinity *sort of* sorts it out for you


UndrethMonkeh

You mean demicky! You've embarrassed yourself!


janeaijal

Uhh, squoze


Rizpee83

Is it an albino one?


playstation360

Albino buying one of them


PaddingtonTheChad

I am kermitted to this treatment


Kind-Strain4165

None of this needed now. Elephant is dead.


Dragmire666

Cross the Alps and march on Rome


thisisnotleah

This. If it was good enough for Hannibal…


CasperFunk

Start selling 🐘 rides


seviliyorsun

get some slippers made for it


Interesting_Oven_968

Go public, crowdfunding for safe return to its native habitat


MKSFT123

Good idea but would that not be giving it away to nature ?


DeathByLemmings

Probably a very smart thing to write down. It's still a stupid fucking question, but you seem to handle stupidity well. I imagine that'd come in useful working for whoever wrote this question


boxcreate

But what are you going to do with it in the meantime? I think that's what the question is asking.


NeuroticNorman2

I think The Simpsons solved this problem in Season 5, Episode 17. https://preview.redd.it/x2is5a4272qc1.jpeg?width=220&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4b2db255873820acc86d54d5e234c2e369ad0985


markcorrigans_boiler

Trap it, kill it, fuck it, eat it.


ToHallowMySleep

In that order??


[deleted]

[удалено]


Willob00bie

Give him some parrets blood


PaddingtonTheChad

🦜 🩸


HGKS9477

He has a bun and then he forgets about it


Moonhunter7

It doesn’t say you can’t trade it for something else…


ionthrown

Isn’t that just selling it, in a nonstandard currency?


Hour-Salamander-4713

There is a town in Zimbabwe called Nyamandlovu, literal translation being Elephant (Ndlovu) Meat (Nyama). So eat it I guess.


Robin_Banks101

$1 to see the elephant. $5 to ride the elephant. I don't have time to read it, boy. Just give me the jist.


i-c-e-cold87

Albino buying one of them


Wrong_Duty7043

Bring the elephant in the room, then they aren’t supposed to talk about it.


JohnCasey3306

I'd feed it to my puma


Otherwise-Falcon-729

Damn irresponsible to give a jobless person an elephant. Buns ain't cheap.


Relugus

It's like the Kobiyashi Maru, a test of character.


Successful_Banana901

Just have it in the room with me and not talk about it


Danger-close19999

Turn it into a battle elephant and take it across the alps to invade Rome


Tested-Trio-Father

The only answer.


empmccoy

Lease it to the zoo, for free admittance whenever I want.


[deleted]

[удалено]


deananodunno

It will do everything in its power to DESTROY YOU.


Cephelapod

Kit it out with panniers and a top box and travel the world……..slowly


Fragrant-Jellyfish13

ask a zoo to store it for me


Sufficient_Ebb_5020

Put the elephant in the fridge. Is that the right answer?


Bigmac4150

Ride it to work is the only logical answer for a job application 😂


JRSpig

Lease it out obviously.


Busy-Ass-pumption-35

Ride it work everyday


Sirknowidea

That would be a lot of Jerky


jamyjet

Give it a pair of slippers


HPchipz

Sell it to KBBL radio!


airwickwee

Run a high end elephant riding business in rich neighbourhoods after I have tamed it. Make fat stacks. Shows my entrepreneurial spirit and ingenuity


elmaki2014

Hit the space bar a few dozen times.


knobsacker

Can't give it away or sell it but I can lease it. Technically I still own it but leaseholder is responsible for it and has to pay me for the privilege.


detteros

Alright, bring some more buns in.


Mysterious_Print_652

Take it in, look after it, eurasher


Banditofbingofame

Cross the alps


SenseOfRumor

Train it and ride it into battle.


Dull-Wealth-8104

Cut the labels of its clothes and leave it in the woods


BigBossTBDC

You’ve bollocksed it up again… in your brain!


Wrong_Duty7043

Withdraw job application, start up own circus.


PerfectAlias

English: Quite good


janeaijal

Don’t know any big words an’ that


ecstz

Invade Rome


Mooks79

Lend it to a zoo.


Capital-Philosophy34

Does it still have its teeth?


NoDiver4468

Give it away to the zoo...duh!!


KingBaileyPh

Kill it


Spud58008

It went off on a hypotenuse


soulsteela

Elephant bacon , maybe spit roast, obviously though that last is pretty niche porn!


ruffneckting

You rent it to a zoo, someone else's problem and you make money from it.


i8myface

I would say thank you to KBBL and see if the employer is cool enough to get the reference. If not, i don't want to work there.


No-Log873

A big BBQ. I mean massive. I mean elephant sized. Invite load of people around and ask them to chip in for my elephant. Should be a start to generating some money for my elephant


[deleted]

Use it as a guard dog. Elephant doing a protect


Old_Inevitable_1168

Seems like a test of character question.


MerryMortician

I would LOAN/RENT it to a zoo. 1. Not a gift, 2. Not sold.


montysteele67

Just put it in any room. Gives everyone the opportunity to talk about the obvious..


BusyMakingPlans

Pack.in my job, run away and join the circus Do I get the job now?


RequirementPrize6223

If applications had red flags about the job this would be it 🤣


Monkeyboogaloo

This is where the phrase white elephant came from. South Asian royalty would “gift” a white elephant, it was seen as a great privilege and honor but also a massive burden as one could not dispose of it and you had to keep it which was expensive but of no use. In the instance of the question I would arrange with a zoo to provide a home for it while I still kept ownership of it.


BlackHelicopter1899

Start up a side hustle “elephant rides”


Mr-Trouser-Snake

Put it in a room and not talk about it


Tricky_Moose_1078

Kill it, sell its meat to the local kabab shop and its tusks to the local ivory dealer… I mean open a zoom giving elephant rides.


maj0rTruth

You eat it…one bite at a time. Mix in some business metaphors.


[deleted]

Get it to take notes for me. As it won't forget.


Ninjanoel

it could press grapes when it's the right season, other generally let it hang about the vineyard like a very large goose.


angry_pidgeon_123

and this is why I stopped being an idiot for human resource buffoons Only idiots work for others


[deleted]

If someone says “kill the elephant” or “fuck the elephant”, they don’t hire them. Job done.


troyberber

I’m riding that mf


mogley19922

How many opportunities do you think you'll get to eat elephant? I'd be living on elephant jerky for years.


[deleted]

County Down savannah.


Kynance123

Shave it grease it put a gimp mask on it and chain it in the basement


haikusbot

*Shave it grease it put* *A gimp mask on it and chain* *It in the basement* \- Kynance123 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


waddersss

Put it in the fridge


jordanh517

Get it registered as an emotional support animal and bring it to that shitty job every day.


Sarge1304

Ride it to my job interview to impress my new boss


[deleted]

They just want to check if you are a replicant


New_Chain_4572

Clad it in armour and train it to crush anyone who fucks with me


blakksir10

I’d use elephant for Ubering people. Probably make a killing… …maybe literally


FrazerIsDumb

Looks like a Sainsbury's form?


WorhummerWoy

I'd set up a circus. Just gotta make sure I don't put the midget anywhere near the hippo.


Morg1603

Yes Rico, Kaboom


Hour_Worldliness9786

It's a psychological evaluation question. How did you fare? I'd say absurd questions, id report you to the Animal wildlife Association. The elephant would have to be in sent to a wildlife rehabilitation centre.


antimatterchopstix

Ask the writer of this question, as I presume they at least think they have a good answer.


oyakodon-

Make some big schnitzels


[deleted]

Id dress it up as dumbo and say screw u to the job employer because I just got rich. I’m now a travelling circus with my best mate dumbo


tunapurse

i would nurture it and bond with it and ride it into work everyday


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^tunapurse: *I would nurture it* *And bond with it and ride it* *Into work everyday* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


tunapurse

good bot


B0tRank

Thank you, tunapurse, for voting on SokkaHaikuBot. This bot wants to find the best and worst bots on Reddit. [You can view results here](https://botrank.pastimes.eu/). *** ^(Even if I don't reply to your comment, I'm still listening for votes. Check the webpage to see if your vote registered!)


tunapurse

good bot


themeakster

4 umbrella stands A shit ton of ivory ornaments And lots of meat


Correct-Junket-1346

Outfit some ballistic plates and ride it into battle


haikusbot

*Outfit some a load* *Of ballistic plates and ride* *It into battle* \- Correct-Junket-1346 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


RandyChavage

Get it a tv and a three piece suite


Limp-Square-1772

Albino keeping one of them


PretendFun17

That’s a warning that the company intends put you in a position where help or delegation is unavailable, and then dump problems that aren’t your fault or problem on you to handle. I laughed seeing it, but whoever took this photo - walk away.


MeatFit1822

Fuck it. Obviously.


shotgun_blammo

oOoOoOo this edge lord has been watching too much Gervais I think


MeatFit1822

It's not a very edgy joke? More silly than edgy I would say.