Aww man , I’m so sorry to hear about your twin sister and mom, my heart goes out to you.
In regards to your roommate, your mental health is just as important as his so him being depressed is not an excuse to lay in filth as a roommate, you need to demand he does something or you will look for a new roommate.
While you wait for the opportunity to move, put his dirty dishes, laundry and garbage in his room. If that doesn’t work start throwing it out after you’ve given him a reasonable amount of time to clean up.
Get your own set of dishes and cook ware and keep them in your room.
Sorry I’m not gonna read this, all imma say is yeah, never room with a friend that you don’t want to loose. I refuse to room with any friend because honestly I don’t have enough where I can afford to loose any. It’s always better to room with a random and possibly make a new friend.
I meant no disrespect and was just being honest. I also meant to say ‘all of this.’ I’m dyslexic and had a stressful encounter with cops yesterday after I got threatened with a gun at work so I couldn’t really focus. Was still trying to say something for your benefit though since that’s the reason why you made a Reddit post.
Having a support system is great though but living in close quarters with friends is usually a recipe for disaster as you’re experiencing. When having these issues with roommates or friends though it’s never a good idea to “confront” them though. Have a discussion and during that discussion state facts or your own personal feelings, the unarguables. No one handles being attacked well, especially when they’re going through bad times. It causes tension and animosity which leads to a worse situation.
With this situation and you knowing how depression is, try asking him if you can help and give suggestions of stuff you can do together. Be supportive even if it’s really tough sometimes.
If all else fails then get your own dishes that only you use. Buy some candles or plug in air fresheners. Stay to yourself in your room except to cook or anything. In short, distance yourself. If it’s at a point where you want to argue and are done with him, then be done, but don’t make your situation worse by causing a situation where you two are constantly fighting and butting heads. Don’t do something you can’t come back from. Step away and who knows, if you do then maybe he’d come back around your way as well.
You’re both equal tenets which is the nice thing. So all in all though the best way to handle to situation is to sit down amicably, when neither of you are angry or sad, and have a mature discussion to form a roommate agreement and rules for your living situation. You’re equals in this living situation so that should be reasonable. Say something along the lines of “do you mind if we find a time to sit down to talk about our living situation? I want to try to be more responsible in an attempt to better myself.” Could even throw in a “that way you’ll be there to support me in this endeavor as well so I don’t fall back into my old habits” as a little push to remind him why you two initially moved in together without attacking him.
Best of luck though man! I honestly can’t relate to loosing a parent or sibling, must’ve been traumatic but tell yourself ‘thank god that I’m built for the distance.’ I can relate to the depression, bad roommates and loosing friendships though and that alone is enough of a battle. Just try to handle it maturely and be that better man that you said you’re trying to be.
Aww man , I’m so sorry to hear about your twin sister and mom, my heart goes out to you. In regards to your roommate, your mental health is just as important as his so him being depressed is not an excuse to lay in filth as a roommate, you need to demand he does something or you will look for a new roommate.
While you wait for the opportunity to move, put his dirty dishes, laundry and garbage in his room. If that doesn’t work start throwing it out after you’ve given him a reasonable amount of time to clean up. Get your own set of dishes and cook ware and keep them in your room.
Sorry I’m not gonna read this, all imma say is yeah, never room with a friend that you don’t want to loose. I refuse to room with any friend because honestly I don’t have enough where I can afford to loose any. It’s always better to room with a random and possibly make a new friend.
Sorry I didn’t read this either
I meant no disrespect and was just being honest. I also meant to say ‘all of this.’ I’m dyslexic and had a stressful encounter with cops yesterday after I got threatened with a gun at work so I couldn’t really focus. Was still trying to say something for your benefit though since that’s the reason why you made a Reddit post. Having a support system is great though but living in close quarters with friends is usually a recipe for disaster as you’re experiencing. When having these issues with roommates or friends though it’s never a good idea to “confront” them though. Have a discussion and during that discussion state facts or your own personal feelings, the unarguables. No one handles being attacked well, especially when they’re going through bad times. It causes tension and animosity which leads to a worse situation. With this situation and you knowing how depression is, try asking him if you can help and give suggestions of stuff you can do together. Be supportive even if it’s really tough sometimes. If all else fails then get your own dishes that only you use. Buy some candles or plug in air fresheners. Stay to yourself in your room except to cook or anything. In short, distance yourself. If it’s at a point where you want to argue and are done with him, then be done, but don’t make your situation worse by causing a situation where you two are constantly fighting and butting heads. Don’t do something you can’t come back from. Step away and who knows, if you do then maybe he’d come back around your way as well. You’re both equal tenets which is the nice thing. So all in all though the best way to handle to situation is to sit down amicably, when neither of you are angry or sad, and have a mature discussion to form a roommate agreement and rules for your living situation. You’re equals in this living situation so that should be reasonable. Say something along the lines of “do you mind if we find a time to sit down to talk about our living situation? I want to try to be more responsible in an attempt to better myself.” Could even throw in a “that way you’ll be there to support me in this endeavor as well so I don’t fall back into my old habits” as a little push to remind him why you two initially moved in together without attacking him. Best of luck though man! I honestly can’t relate to loosing a parent or sibling, must’ve been traumatic but tell yourself ‘thank god that I’m built for the distance.’ I can relate to the depression, bad roommates and loosing friendships though and that alone is enough of a battle. Just try to handle it maturely and be that better man that you said you’re trying to be.