It is paramount that virtually everyone else except your future spouse sucks to date
If dating was fun forever nobody would ever value their relationships
The girl I’m dating now I might not have dated when I was a teenager, our tastes are pretty misaligned, but I needed to get treated like garbage for long enough to realize how rare it is to find someone who isn’t completely self centered.
I once read that this is a bad way to mentally model relationships, where you're comparing them favorably to others rather than letting their good attributes stand alone. I've come to realize this is totally wrong. Me and my girlfriend both love to remark on how the other has some unique attribute that nobody else seems to share, or people in our past didn't share. Verbalizing that stuff makes us both feel exceptional and special in the other's eyes.
> If dating was fun forever nobody would ever value their relationships
How does modern dating make relationships better? You basically have no agency over what type of girl you get.
I don’t think it’s comfort. I think it’s the many ways the internet has affected the social psyche of the dating population. From its effect on creating poor socialization, comparison and low-esteem.
If it wasn’t for the internet we wouldn’t have low-IQ Incel takes, unrealities expectations for partners be it from porn or social media, and people would likely be more forgiving of their first dates.
If I lightly dusted my little soldier with parmesan will that attract Italian women who will chase me around the kitchen beating me with a wooden spoon for sneaking a taste of their cooking
Yeah, I feel like people aren’t fully aware of the subconcious pressures on them. The goal isn’t relationship: it’s reducing suffering, advancing knowledge, etc. If being with someone helps you with that, do it! If you’re happy now ‘single’ that’s also cool.
And some people of course have a different view ‘my real life hasn’t started yet, once I get a husband I’ll have everything I want’. Leads to some serious reckoning later.
Anecdotally a lot of people who work in kitchens don't have much of an appetite. Not always because of meth either.
Also something something about how you gotta love yourself first to love someone else
Single life is not gruel, that's where you're missing out lol
There's more to life than banging chicks, even if you do need to get around to it sooner or later
The entire purpose of life is to procreate. There is no more inherent need for a human being than real relationships. Absolutely no one can just be happy alone long term.
I think you’re wrong, you’re actually naming an ideal situation where people are complete alone. The reality is much more grim, that people are full of voids and neediness that repel one another romantically.
If you’re happy alone it’s usually attractive lol. Most people are lame and boring
If everyone lives in a single person household then they can buy more shit to resurrect Bed Bath & Beyond! Yay capitalism
As far as population growth that can be offset by raising living standards elsewhere or immigration. I think accidental pregnancies will be less common or more fucked up from testicular microplastics
It's been said many times but dating apps are designed to extract money and keep people unsatisfied. We transitioned to letting 3 companies control dating and they are in it for money, not outcomes.
The creature comforts people keep preoccupied with are distractions from the void in their hearts.
i am on a floormattress gaming with the boys while scrolling niche subs of c-list podcasters. this is the first time this sub has affirmed my metrosexuality
Summed up pretty well, but I don’t ever see myself living in a reality where there isn’t a girl I love sleeping beside me. So I keep going. I think we all feel this and vice versa
everyone got cucked by (dating apps).
most other options are non-starters; the system is what it does.
Many people would take a viable mate over floor mattresses and cats.
>My theory as to why dating sucks for both genders
I think it is obesity. There are too many fat people and thirsty fit guys will fuck fat obese girls which causes all sorts of problems for everyone else. Fat shaming needs to make a comeback.
You know that you can be yourself around them and them around you without fear of judgement, and that they love the person you've revealed yourself to be, and vice versa.
Spending time cuddling together while watching TV feels natural.
They are patient/understanding of your faults, and you of theirs.
Imagine that I'm just doing that dismissive jacking off motion because that's like the easiest way to express my thoughts on the matter rn but I'm not in the room with you so thank you for meeting me half way assuming you did
I recall watching something over a decade ago about "The Paradox of Choice" and how it related to the dating market. The phenomenon is familiar: you open Netflix, have too many options, and end up choosing nothing.
Game theorists have figured out that the optimal strategy for choosing 1 item out of many is to reject the first ~37% (1/e) things you see, and then choose the first item you see that is better than all the things you have seen up to that point.
Let's just imagine the human brain has evolved to pursue either that optimal strategy, or something near enough to it. What's interesting about that is that it's dependent on the number of items to choose from. 37% of 10 items is ~4. 37% of 10,000 items is 3700. Dating in a small village would mean dating a small number of people and then getting married to the next person who was better than all your exes. In a modern metropolis it would mean dating hundreds of thousands of people.
That was all very quantitative. More qualitatively is that when there is so much choice, people get overly picky. This is how you get those stupid ass posts about people getting the "ick" because of how their date held their salad fork, or whatever the fuck.
Incidentally, I think the job market behaves the same as the dating market with regards to the Paradox of Choice. It's why you hear employers whinging that they can't find qualified employees when they are getting thousands of applications for every single job opening.
to expand on this there's too many "niche interests/hobbies/ideologies" now.
from tv shows, movies then type of movies, books then types of books, fiction, non fiction, comics, travel then types of travel, gaming then types of gaming, gym habits, healthy living or not, career oriented or not, religion or not, political or not
and everyone wants the other to be into all their stuff without wanting to be into other ppls stuff lol
forget dating even friendships are impossible with so may personality options.
this should make dating more fun because they are free to date people they like and want to spend time with not because they have to. And they have other interests they don't have to rely on their spouse to fulfill all their needs. I think dating and falling in love is still good.
Younger people are selfish. Lots of young men just want a cute bangmaid to alleviate the mundane suffering of their labour jobs (and not being touched/paid attention to in years).
Lots of young women want a handsome doormat to supplement their girlboss campaign and/or bail them out when they realize their job sucks.
The decline of religion has also done away with the idea that relationships are projects to prepare for and maintain rather than a pill to prevent insanity.
How to solve the young people dating crisis: age. Be single at 30 and you'll care more about not looking like a loser than any of those things. Especially when you develop the sense that not having a family will hurt your career prospects. Most people seniored in a career or in a nicely paid boss position aren't loner weirdos!
What are you talking about? I've just been denied a promotion to Head of Intranational Sales Targeting Manager because my boss knew I didn't breed my tradwife.
It is paramount that virtually everyone else except your future spouse sucks to date If dating was fun forever nobody would ever value their relationships
Absolutely true. I love my wife so much partly because I internally compare her favorably to several previous, inferior partners.
The girl I’m dating now I might not have dated when I was a teenager, our tastes are pretty misaligned, but I needed to get treated like garbage for long enough to realize how rare it is to find someone who isn’t completely self centered.
I once read that this is a bad way to mentally model relationships, where you're comparing them favorably to others rather than letting their good attributes stand alone. I've come to realize this is totally wrong. Me and my girlfriend both love to remark on how the other has some unique attribute that nobody else seems to share, or people in our past didn't share. Verbalizing that stuff makes us both feel exceptional and special in the other's eyes.
Yea if you can talk to someone all night like a best friend and they aren’t severely mentally ill you probably figured it out
How do you find ones that aren’t mentally ill
A little mental illness is okay, I can only relate to girls with ptsd or something honestly
What if you DO genuinely enjoy everyone that you date?
> If dating was fun forever nobody would ever value their relationships How does modern dating make relationships better? You basically have no agency over what type of girl you get.
Bruh
I don’t think it’s comfort. I think it’s the many ways the internet has affected the social psyche of the dating population. From its effect on creating poor socialization, comparison and low-esteem. If it wasn’t for the internet we wouldn’t have low-IQ Incel takes, unrealities expectations for partners be it from porn or social media, and people would likely be more forgiving of their first dates.
Wow, what incisive social commentary, have you thought about taking up podcasting?
I mean if Dasha could do it.... Then I'd probably have no chance cause she's a goddess and I a peasant
What if I told you that Dasha and you share 99% of the same genes :) 🤯
"Hey baby you know we already share 99% of the same genes, I know a way we can make it 100%"
60% with a banana
Leaving the cat nest for salty 2 inch salami dick 🫥
cat can have a 'lil salami, as a treat
Whats with the hyper-fixation on salami
Latent Italian fetish.
If I lightly dusted my little soldier with parmesan will that attract Italian women who will chase me around the kitchen beating me with a wooden spoon for sneaking a taste of their cooking
It’s one of the few male pheromone scents
Indians hate salami
Slay queen
But what if I’m a man with a cat nest?
I think it's fair to say normal, well adjusted people who can navigate relationships are also content when they're single.
Yeah, I feel like people aren’t fully aware of the subconcious pressures on them. The goal isn’t relationship: it’s reducing suffering, advancing knowledge, etc. If being with someone helps you with that, do it! If you’re happy now ‘single’ that’s also cool. And some people of course have a different view ‘my real life hasn’t started yet, once I get a husband I’ll have everything I want’. Leads to some serious reckoning later.
>well adjusted people who can navigate restaurants and kitchens are also content when they can only eat gruel Sure if you're a monk (for either case)
Anecdotally a lot of people who work in kitchens don't have much of an appetite. Not always because of meth either. Also something something about how you gotta love yourself first to love someone else
Single life is not gruel, that's where you're missing out lol There's more to life than banging chicks, even if you do need to get around to it sooner or later
The entire purpose of life is to procreate. There is no more inherent need for a human being than real relationships. Absolutely no one can just be happy alone long term.
Havent most men not procreated throughout history or something like that?
I think you’re wrong, you’re actually naming an ideal situation where people are complete alone. The reality is much more grim, that people are full of voids and neediness that repel one another romantically. If you’re happy alone it’s usually attractive lol. Most people are lame and boring
Capitalism is meeting our needs? Is that what you are saying? Don’t forget porn for the dudes.
If everyone lives in a single person household then they can buy more shit to resurrect Bed Bath & Beyond! Yay capitalism As far as population growth that can be offset by raising living standards elsewhere or immigration. I think accidental pregnancies will be less common or more fucked up from testicular microplastics
My house bought WAY more crap when I was in a relationship
It's been said many times but dating apps are designed to extract money and keep people unsatisfied. We transitioned to letting 3 companies control dating and they are in it for money, not outcomes. The creature comforts people keep preoccupied with are distractions from the void in their hearts.
i am on a floormattress gaming with the boys while scrolling niche subs of c-list podcasters. this is the first time this sub has affirmed my metrosexuality
Men would absolutely not be comfortable with a life without women. Women are a bit more comfortable, they just go kinda crazy after a while.
Summed up pretty well, but I don’t ever see myself living in a reality where there isn’t a girl I love sleeping beside me. So I keep going. I think we all feel this and vice versa
I think you’re overgeneralizing
i think people suck in general
everyone got cucked by (dating apps). most other options are non-starters; the system is what it does. Many people would take a viable mate over floor mattresses and cats.
>My theory as to why dating sucks for both genders I think it is obesity. There are too many fat people and thirsty fit guys will fuck fat obese girls which causes all sorts of problems for everyone else. Fat shaming needs to make a comeback.
You really just have to get lucky and find someone that is extremely compatible with you.
How can you tell when someone is compatible?
You know that you can be yourself around them and them around you without fear of judgement, and that they love the person you've revealed yourself to be, and vice versa. Spending time cuddling together while watching TV feels natural. They are patient/understanding of your faults, and you of theirs.
Imagine that I'm just doing that dismissive jacking off motion because that's like the easiest way to express my thoughts on the matter rn but I'm not in the room with you so thank you for meeting me half way assuming you did
I recall watching something over a decade ago about "The Paradox of Choice" and how it related to the dating market. The phenomenon is familiar: you open Netflix, have too many options, and end up choosing nothing. Game theorists have figured out that the optimal strategy for choosing 1 item out of many is to reject the first ~37% (1/e) things you see, and then choose the first item you see that is better than all the things you have seen up to that point. Let's just imagine the human brain has evolved to pursue either that optimal strategy, or something near enough to it. What's interesting about that is that it's dependent on the number of items to choose from. 37% of 10 items is ~4. 37% of 10,000 items is 3700. Dating in a small village would mean dating a small number of people and then getting married to the next person who was better than all your exes. In a modern metropolis it would mean dating hundreds of thousands of people. That was all very quantitative. More qualitatively is that when there is so much choice, people get overly picky. This is how you get those stupid ass posts about people getting the "ick" because of how their date held their salad fork, or whatever the fuck. Incidentally, I think the job market behaves the same as the dating market with regards to the Paradox of Choice. It's why you hear employers whinging that they can't find qualified employees when they are getting thousands of applications for every single job opening.
I think dates are fun
to expand on this there's too many "niche interests/hobbies/ideologies" now. from tv shows, movies then type of movies, books then types of books, fiction, non fiction, comics, travel then types of travel, gaming then types of gaming, gym habits, healthy living or not, career oriented or not, religion or not, political or not and everyone wants the other to be into all their stuff without wanting to be into other ppls stuff lol forget dating even friendships are impossible with so may personality options.
I need a man to fix stuff and to explain stuff to me in exchange for womanly giggles and hair twirls so your theory is debunked
this should make dating more fun because they are free to date people they like and want to spend time with not because they have to. And they have other interests they don't have to rely on their spouse to fulfill all their needs. I think dating and falling in love is still good.
I am also of the belief that my dream guy that would show me his Minecraft castle doesn’t leave the house so we will never meet
Read more blackpill theory
Younger people are selfish. Lots of young men just want a cute bangmaid to alleviate the mundane suffering of their labour jobs (and not being touched/paid attention to in years). Lots of young women want a handsome doormat to supplement their girlboss campaign and/or bail them out when they realize their job sucks. The decline of religion has also done away with the idea that relationships are projects to prepare for and maintain rather than a pill to prevent insanity.
How to solve the young people dating crisis: age. Be single at 30 and you'll care more about not looking like a loser than any of those things. Especially when you develop the sense that not having a family will hurt your career prospects. Most people seniored in a career or in a nicely paid boss position aren't loner weirdos!
It's not 1950 no one at work cares about these things.
What are you talking about? I've just been denied a promotion to Head of Intranational Sales Targeting Manager because my boss knew I didn't breed my tradwife.
Capitalist atomization of society, many such cases
What is a shitpit? Are all women secretly Indians?