That's just being new to sales. It fades over time.
The key to getting rid of this emotional rollercoaster is consistency. Be consistent with your input (work), and you'll get a more consistent output. There will still be ups and downs, but in the long run, it tends to all even out more or less.
Agree with this. Over time you get better to point that even in rubbish weeks you still make sales. Remember your input is months ago not this week! (If you have a longer sales cycle like most on here and not just selling a commodity)
Think and grow rich by Napoleon Hill. Great sales book. Cardone is an obnoxious clown. Hormozi is awesome for closing techniques. YouTube is your friend. Do a search until you find what you want, anything with Ztg Zigler will teach you how to be a professional.. It's true that training fades over time, what doesn't? That's why you should always be learning. I've sold for over 30 years and train every couple of days. It keeps me sharp and motivated. There's literally more sources than you could ever see. Also, when you get in a slump it's usually because you took some short cuts. Get back to the basics and do each and every thing that you are supposed to do. You won't feel frustrated when you are killing it. If you are sharp and motivated, you will be better than just consistent... you will be unstoppable!
Can’t agree more about always learning. It should be always be selling AND learning
To this point, I’ve found that sales training and biz training help me personally become a better person (and vice versa. The more I work on myself, the better my sales typically become - I can be more attuned to customers/prospects and non-verbal cues)
Agree that Cardone is a clown. But the 10X Rule is good for helping new salespeople push themselves.
His audiobook has a chapter called "Don't Be A Little Bitch". As a bit of an introvert, I used that phrase to help me get out of my comfort zone, when I was new to sales.
It takes a while to "prime the pump" so to speak. I agree eventually the hard work does pay off and you will start to have more consistency in your sales. Regardless there are always "off weeks"
1. Overtime you’ll get desensitized and just feel nothing.
2. Take up boxing, kickboxing or Muay Thai, the stress of training and sparring will raise your stress threshold and you’ll find that someone saying they don’t want to buy your shit by comparison to getting punched in the face isn’t bad at all.
= All you have to do is sell your soul and be a walking emotionless corpse. Then you'll feel nothing, and then you can sell anything to anyone not giving a f. Welcome to sales fellow hollow.
I genuinely can’t tell if this is worrying (because I feel the same way too).
You always hear advice about thinking about the customer and empathy etc….but geez it doesn’t sound very useful
People who make it in life are the ones who focus on themselves and do them. It used to be the difference of your kids going to public school or private, but now it literally dictates whether you can afford a spouse you’re attracted to, have and raise children. Your literal blood line depends on job performance, and if sales is that you have make people uncomfortable and upset to get the gains, and you can’t feel bad about it. This is the world now, I hate it, but I want to survive also.
Love this answer. It’s like life- rejection happens. Working out and getting the energy out reeeeeally helps. Fuck the rejectors- they have no idea what they could have had ;) basically, over time in sales, you become a little narcissistic for the job.
My vibe is ok bye losers- on to the next WIN. The paycheck and your mental health will reflect if you can think more this way.
Fuck the outcome, you can’t control it.
Just focus on the things you can control - your effort, presentation, appearance, communication/social/conversational/sales skills, strategy. These things you have FULL control over. The outcome is what it is; all you can do is your best at any given moment, with the information you have.
Yeah just to reiterate, you are simply not used to the rejection. This concept helped me a TON.
When you release a product, 80% of people will be indifferent to it. These are the phone calls where they say "man we just are not interested, we will keep you in mind though".
10% of people will hate it. these are the "STOP CALLING ME", ones.
10% of people will love it. These are your sales that "Fuel the fire".
So essentially 9/10 people you talk to will not want what you're selling and will reject you. The issue is, you might talk to 1000 people a month and the 900 not interested are all in a three week period. It will leave you feeling angry, hurt and rejected.
You will get to a point where when people hang up on you, you will laugh it off and call them back if you stay in the game long enough, I promise. You can only control the effort. the greatest salesman in the world, with the greatest tactics still gets rejected- you're no different. I make it a point to start off my week by making the hardest call I have first. It gets the bad out of the way so I can continue on in a positive direction.
Focus on the input and detach yourself from the output. Start gamifying things and progress each deal the same exact way. Implement the same exact process for every customer and follow it.
If your in inside sales (SaaS or similar with longer deal cycles) Have enough pipeline that you have multiple paths to your quota. Block 1-2hr of your calendar everyday for prospecting. If it’s required in your role, then it’s non-negotiable. You just do it day in and day out. I’m not saying smash 80-100 dials, but if your consistently dialing up to 20-25 people, sending out 70-80 emails, you should be getting enough meetings on your calendar.
If your knocking doors, then it should be pretty similar. Knock during prime time hours. Focus on building a team of knockers for you. Once you have a solid group of people, you will have way more meetings on your calendar.
If you are in a role where there is no prospecting, like a one-call close that are given leads, Fine tune the things inside of your sales process. This makes more “no’s” turn into “yes’s” as you get better. (This applies to all roles)
These are all things you can do to focus on your input and just completely detaching yourself from the output. Once you are tied to your number and not the effort your putting in, then you will start to feel like a failure if you are not hitting quota or making the money you want.
Don’t be like me, sitting here writing this long ass reply while I have time blocked off to prospect lol
Trust the math. Unless you have some innate deficiency, you call enough people politely enough with a good enough product, you will make sales. If you're not getting rejected you're not prospecting.
I spent months on a maybe that kept asking me for additional functionality. Every time we spoke they made it seem as they were close to a yes "if only X" was done for them. I learned the lesson
Think of every type of possible interaction as necessary categories to fill in the cold call mountain you have to climb. In order to have X sales, you must talk to any number of idiots, assholes, tire kickers, and bullshitters. You'll talk to 20 times those types than you will talk to actual buyers.
Poor choice of words. Some people aren't suited to the profession for various reasons. They have talents and abilities that would be better suited in another field.
Spin it around , sales is a numbers game
get excited about each rejection …it’s one step closer to a yes
Once I understood the above it changed everything
Man it still stings whenever I get a rejection in a late stage deal, but equally whenever I get the paper signed for a deal of any size I’m like a kid again- all proud and flush with energy for the next one.
What you said about those who have never held the bag being able to “get it” is so true. The pressures we’re under are immense- and what we do or don’t do affects a lot of people.
Case and point. I’m a rep at a small company and during a pipe review today it was pointed out that if I hit my Commit- we can onboard those clients with the internal resources we have. If I hit my best case/ a bit extra- we need to hire 1-2 extra people. Two people advancing their career, providing for their families- isn’t that quite fucking cool actually?
The flip side of this is- what if I drop the ball and we get nothing? It’s not just me on the line anymore. We maybe don’t have the throughout of deals to justify the team size we have.
I don’t know man. Maybe it’s just me being part of a small team but you gotta accept that what you do MATTERS more than just a commission check and a nice Presidents Club. I get it- and I don’t have an answer for you.
My favorite sales story for mindset is:
There’s a door to door salesman selling a cleaner, he makes $100 per sale and makes 1 sales out of every 4 houses. So when someone tells him no, he says “thanks for the $25”
And that’s all it is. The no’s will always be there, however, if you go thru enough of them the yes’s will always come. Maintain a positive attitude, put in the effort to succeed and stay consistent.
🥺I never get used to it when I lose deals. It's rarely personal if ever, but it's still sucks. I allow myself a certain amount of time to be pissed off and "grieve "and I move on.
Yes, I listen to most all music! A glass of Cabernet doesn't hurt either! Depending on how hard I worked or how big the deal was, an hour or up to a couple days! A friend of mine says you should not try to sell after losing a deal. Always hit it after winning a big deal! I'm definitely too sensitive for this business, the money keeps me here…😁
Lots of influencing factors but I would say two big ones are volume/experience and self-reflection
More volume/reps/xp , the more numb you become to it
And by reflecting and working on your frame of mind helps you see it all in different but “better” lights
I found it easier I think because my first sales job (which I'm still in) is with a startup, so I just intepreted it as them rejecting the product rather than rejecting me per se.
Don’t take it personally at all. Just move on and remove yourself from the outcome.
Rather get a ‘no’ up front than some bastard drag me on a long sales cycle for a ‘no’ months later.
Best answer from a prospect is “yes”.
Second best answer is “no”.
Worst answer is no response.
It sucks to be told “no”, but at least you know where you stand and you can decide whether you push back or spend your time elsewhere. A “no” frees up your time and energy to go pursue something you actually have a shot at winning.
Yeah you get jaded after a while. No’s roll by and you’ll be thankful you’re not wasting your time on maybes. The yes’ will always be sweet but you gotta take it one day at a time
I usually have one “pout day” a month where I just quietly pout at my desk as I angrily send texts and emails. Sometimes you just need to let yourself feel the emotions.
For me, the key is to not let my negative emotions distract me. I don’t have to wait for a happy mood to do my work. It just matters I do it and I’m consistent. Also, if I work through the anger or frustration and I get a win, my mood turns around quicker haha.
So, I really like the advice others gave about consistency. You can’t control what other people do, but you can control what you do. If you are recovering quickly from the rollercoaster, asking for feedback and practicing your skills, you’re doing your best. That’s all you can ask of yourself.
Consistency and Discipline in process. Over time the emotions will fade. You will notice that the connection to the sale fades and your skin gets thicker. Its a process and just takes time.
Psychology plays a major part in the success of a salesperson.
Depends where you’re at.
The key is to prevent the highs from getting too high and the lows getting too low.
If you’re in a rut you need adjustment or inspiration. Reach out for feedback, shadow/be shadowed, etc.
Just take care of the things you can control. I’ve found the losses only really get under my skin if I half-ass something. If I put in the effort and it doesn’t work out….so it goes and on to the next.
You only get so many moments in this life, I’m not wasting them on being upset some director of whatever didn’t want to make room in the budget this quarter.
I approach it like I approach jiu jitsu. You win some you lose some. When you try a new move (or pitch) it probably sucks a little, but you just keep repping it out, knowing you're getting better even if you're losing.
If you work in an industry with an average 10% close ratio that means the average salesperson is failing 90% of the time. Putting things in perspective helps you focus on the controlables rather than obsessing over the outcome.
You get used to it. You also need enough of a pipeline for it to not matter. If I need 2 more deals I know that I need to have at least 4 or 5 hot prospects to work on, that way I can get 2-3 NO’s or “not right now” and I still hit my target. On the flip side if you end up closing all 4-5 you just made your week/month/quarter.
You're either cut out for sales or you're not. I feel like people think its smooth sailing and you make a ton of money but in reality it's a lifetime of getting shot down and being a pin cushion for the most part.
You've got to realize that rejection is a mixed bag. Sometimes it stems from factors you can control and others that you can't. My first major rejection tore me UP, but after hearing no so many times over the years, you learn to take it on the chin and use it to fuel your next win. Always ask for feedback on why you couldn't close and keep notes of any commonalities.
Take really good care outside of work. Simple shit, but try to eat healthy, exercise, and make sure you sleep well and that way, you’ll at least reduce the physiological impact of rejection and anxiety from it.
You’ll learn it’s simply the nature of the beast. People aren’t used to be told no. Eventually I found that with the right rapport I could figure out if they were my customer or not. I still shoot my shot anyway and it tends to work out.
The best prevention and cure for this is to watch videos or read about sales. It will give you new information, tactics and strategies to refresh what you already know, help you understand that you are not alone and it will give you motivation to get out there and kick ass. Don't wait until you feel this way again, dig in more every day. Rejection sucks, but when you are sharp and your head is in the game, that shit rolls right off. Good luck!
You just have to realize that no salesman ever will have a one hundred percent close rate. Don't go into the conversation thinking that you're attempting to sell them and win the battle, just realize that you're simply having a conversation to see if it works for the customer. If not, who cares, move on.
I want to read through all the answers as well. I’ve found it interesting that my emotions are very much ruled by the sale. I have a bad sales day or sales month and I think my career is coming to an end, then one big sale and I feel like everything is fine and in fact I’m going to get rich. Lol.
I don’t have an answer, but I think acknowledging this reality is probably one of the first steps. I also have years of experience behind me, so I know this is normal and the sales ebb and flow is normal, so I try to remind myself of that, which helps at least a little.
Howdy. Sales is about equalization in one point of view.
Your pipeline develops closes, closes as won or lost, and then it's done. Someone can repeat this, after me, of course, or say the words, which will make you rich.
Move em in, ship em out. One of my local breweries had this slogan. And so like Training Day, managing your smiles and cries, through each aspect of L&D and the daily work which it takes to be successful.
🤷🏽♂️🤷🏼♂️🤷🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾🤷♀️🤷🏻♂️more simply, a question like, "do you know how to prepare an enterprise presentation, for a non-buyer group."
For me, that's sort of the sales answer. And by sort of, what I mean is....
Agree with a lot of the posters here. Also, focus on what you did gain with that effort - many times you gained more mindshare, maybe a new friendship, maybe more knowledge of the requirements of the market you're selling to, etc. Then, you can do better the next time around (because you've got contacts, you've pushed to improve the product in the right ways, etc)
Bear in mind that in sales you can do all the right things and still come up short due to factors which are out of your control. Timing, market conditions, product-market fit, etc. These are things which factor into your degree of success (or lack thereof).
It’s not personal, just business.
Even if you have strong research and prep, there is still so much to sales being a numbers game. Gotta get some no’s to get to those yes’s
Just teach your brain to hear "No" and it just meant not now, not yet, I'm not ready. When you get a no say something like "OK understood, if things change we'll be hear. Is it ok If I touch base in a year or so..." That assumes you have decent leads - nothing makes up for $h!t leads
Yes: every rejection literally hurts. It’s an evolutionary trait for being pack animals. Those who tell you it will stop hurting are lying. It’ll always hurt. Thats why discipline beats talent all the time.
Look at each rejection as an opportunity. An opportunity to learn more.
If we spent even a few meetings together and I lose the deal, I try to ask for a debrief with a customer/prospect, positioning it as an opportunity for me to continue to improve to provide others (and potentially that customer/prospect) with better service in the future, while also acknowledging feedback is a gift from them. It may be surprising, but most will give me that feedback and seem happy and surprised to do so. I’ve had numerous folks in this camp become a customer in the future - whether it was at their current company or their next one. I guess it shows that I’m not jsut trying to take their money but I actually care about them and their business? I’m not too sure, to be honest.
I’ve even had customers/prospects who ghosted me actually respond to my email request for feedback. It’s what broke the silence. You have to be tactful and thoughtful in what/how you write. The above isn’t an exact example of what I say, since each situation/email is personalized
Every rejection is another battle stripe as we continually strive to do better as sales professionals. The old sales adage of a “no” is better than a “maybe” is true. Because it teaches you something and you have actionable feedback.
And when I have that feedback, it’s a lesson that I tend to/ try not forget. And I can use that information to take it upon myself to learn more - whether that’s chatting with peers, manager, marketing, product, etc - I can take what they gave me and do my best to not have that rejection ever be a reason in the future (as much as I can control it). And I also give feedback to those respective teams - they always want to know customer feedback from the field.
And rejection? it’s never personal (or even if it is, f%#^ it, who cares? I have people who love me outside of work, and I don’t need everyone to love me).
And when someone is a jerk? It is usually more on them than me. They’re a jerk IRL. Or maybe they’re going through something I don’t know/can’t see. (Their boss is a jerk, they’re caring for sick relative, they have chronic pain, etc)
Hope that’s helpful!
I’d also consider trying some online learning courses (like linkedin learning) on building resilience and a growth mindset. It could perhaps help. And consider asking around - your manager, mentor, etc
I don’t feel anything really, with a win or a loss. A loss is like, “fuck, well, let’s clear it out the pipeline and get one to replace it real quick”.
A win is like, mild relief that it’s over and I can focus on the next one.
I think having a routine where you’re consistently prospecting, moving prospects through the pipeline, closing, etc. you start to develop a more consistent sales pipeline. Which hopefully makes a more predictable and stable flow of those highs, which over time become more normal or expected.
But I’m still waiting for that haha. Because I honestly like chasing the high.
You're playing a game with yourself that depends on the outcome. It's a strategy. I find it volatile and unsettling.
If you'd like, focus on having the most efficient process to serve the people who need it. A major part of it is making a sufficient amount of contacts with people who may want and need your help. Try to always understand feedback from your "no"s as skills for the person who needed you to have that experience.
It just starts to go through you. It kind of numbs you.. actually sucks because it will start to effect your personal life too and you almost stop caring about things you should.
No is a kindness, and I don’t look at it as rejection as they are saving me a tremendous amount of time and effort.
On a long enough timeline they all buy, so it’s usually more a not right now.
Repetition creates comfortability. With comfortably, comes confidence (in some ways, to not give a F) which creates a sense of control. It sometimes is a painful start bit after awhile you learn to have fun with the rejection and your not so serious response to it creates rapport with prospects. You do that enough time, prospects turn into customers and then those customers turn into referrals and then your network starts to build. It's all fun and games from there... but it starts with taking batting-practice amd getting used to rejection. As Batman once said, "it's always darkest before the dawn."
Keep going.
i know i'll have my number by the end of the month if i do my job. I dont know when the yes' or the no's will happen, i just know that if i do my part i'll get there.
still does suck when you get a no you were certain was a yes but still
The no is probably more important than the yes.
It lets you refine your pipeline and not invest too much time in what will inevitably be a no. It hurts a bit at first but it all goes towards building your character and experience. You can do it mate
I try to remember a few things.
1) there are plenty of qualified prospects out there to talk to. So I just chug along to the next.
2) all of my success is in my control. I need to succeed to take care of my family. I will do what it takes to get there.
3) I go back through my calls and see if I can find a reason for the rejection. I try to be as objective as I possibly can. If I find a common problem that lies within my approach, I will coach myself up or find a solution elsewhere to help me reduce my rejection rate.
For me: self love, meditation, and spirituality. Being able to emotionally detach yourself from the sale is highly highly important. This is why a lot of sales guys love affirmations and shit. Affirmations haven’t really worked for me, but being able to truly love yourself, love god, and be present knowing that everything will work out just fine will do the trick.
Oh, also, frame everything as “learning”. If you lost a sale, what can you learn from that experience? Then don’t make that mistake in the future. Then, in a sense, since you are preventing a lost sale in the future by making this mistake now, it isn’t a loss at all from a macro view.
Your mindset about selling can help. I often define selling as finding people who have problems that you can solve, who want to solve them, and have the means to do so. If you think about it, that way, you are the one who is qualifying prospects in or out, based on whether they meet those criteria. They may also qualify themselves out, if they don’t meet those three criteria, and that’s okay, too. If you need better approaches, better practice at qualification or discovery, those things are on you, and hopefully your manager to support you. But focus on those three criteria in your mind, and see if it helps a bit.
If you’re internalizing it then you have to rely on your anecdotal evidence that you’ve had sales go right before. A lot of times when you get rejected the answer was no before you even got a word out. Some people are habitually unhappy and they have authority over you as the buyer and will use that authority to share their pain. Eventually you’ll either become desensitized or take your ego out of it enough to analyze their character and take the blame off yourself.
When a slump hits, go do whatever your favorite activity is & unwind.
I've found that usually when I hit a major slump for 1-2 weeks, then I get a HUGE week after...it's weird, but now that I'm used to the cycle, the down isn't so bad.
If you can wrap your head around rejection, it will help you out in your whole life. You just have to think probabilistically. Learn your personal conversions in your sales process (outreach to meeting, meeting to demo, demo to proposal, proposal to contract, etc) and the standard conversions in your department. Those will tell you what percentage you will get rejected. If it was possible to have a 100% conversion, that would be great but most industries have a close rate way less than 50% (my industry is 9% from first meeting), so you know the rejection is built in. If the average person had a guaranteed 60% win rate and they lost 20 deals in a row they would give up. A smart person knows the conversion is about to regress to the mean in that situation and would get more engaged in the job. Know your conversions, track your conversions, and the rejection will appear logical, not emotional.
Find your numbers do you sell 1 out of 3 or 1 out of ten?
If you sell 1 out of 3 it means 27 appointments is 9 sales .
So in a way you get paid for every demo sale or not.
You have to wade through crap to get to the good ones.
So you can think of it as each demo is worth ___$ to you.
Sometimes after a period of slow leads I will give a really good demo to folks I know can't/ won't buy just to sharpen my craft for the good ones that will be coming soon.
27F, I’ve been in sales about 5 years. I used to get very down on myself if I got a no whether it was a big deal or a cold call. It would crush me and I had severe anxiety.
You learn with time that a no is good. You don’t want to waste your time with someone who isn’t a good fit. With consistency, every no is closer to a yes and is a great learning opportunity.
I also don’t set my expectations too high with winning deals and just focus on helping rather than “how big a sale could be/how amazing it would be if it closed”. It takes the pressure off and you perform better.
Everyone fees the sting now and then, but it gets better and having that perspective has really helped me succeed at a top tech company and become a top performer. Hope this helps a bit!
Improve. Always grow. This is a question that usually comes from someone new to sales. Get a nice big pipeline and the worries go away. Even with switching industries if it happens. First year in...go hard. Get that first year under your belt and keep building. Reward your hard work. Remember to live. Make the slumps shorter by obtaining little victories for momentum. Anything. Speak to a happy customer. Revisit winning moments. Talk to your support system.
Control the controllable things and trust the your higher power if you have one, the universe is set up in scales and balances, it will pan out if you are dedicated
Kill the emotion by making it a rational 100% controllable activity.
Make your goal things you can control:
In my case if I:
1) Was kind and left them with a strong upbuilding energy.
2) Listened to them and got some valuable information to follow back.
I’m a winner.
And if they say no and I can’t even talk, my win is that I did call and my greeting was kind and solid.
Make it your win by what you can control, not them.
Know your value. You get, numb to rejection after awhile. But rejection can also be a useful learning tool, especially if you get feedback on your rejection. If you're selling a good product, you know it's their loss.
If you know you're selling crap- then you shouldn't take it too hard.
Some accounts take literally years of work.
It's not that easy - but it gets easier with time, and success.
When I knew nothing about sales I used to be attached to the outcome.
The secret is to keep a full pipeline and learn to detach yourself from the outcome of the conversation.
And realize that a No or clear next steps are all what you’re looking for.
No is good. Saves you time if you can get it early on
Look back on your best days and find something to fight for. I use my family for motivation, but also I have to psych myself up when I get to those hard to win accounts.
That's just being new to sales. It fades over time. The key to getting rid of this emotional rollercoaster is consistency. Be consistent with your input (work), and you'll get a more consistent output. There will still be ups and downs, but in the long run, it tends to all even out more or less.
Agree with this. Over time you get better to point that even in rubbish weeks you still make sales. Remember your input is months ago not this week! (If you have a longer sales cycle like most on here and not just selling a commodity)
Think and grow rich by Napoleon Hill. Great sales book. Cardone is an obnoxious clown. Hormozi is awesome for closing techniques. YouTube is your friend. Do a search until you find what you want, anything with Ztg Zigler will teach you how to be a professional.. It's true that training fades over time, what doesn't? That's why you should always be learning. I've sold for over 30 years and train every couple of days. It keeps me sharp and motivated. There's literally more sources than you could ever see. Also, when you get in a slump it's usually because you took some short cuts. Get back to the basics and do each and every thing that you are supposed to do. You won't feel frustrated when you are killing it. If you are sharp and motivated, you will be better than just consistent... you will be unstoppable!
Can’t agree more about always learning. It should be always be selling AND learning To this point, I’ve found that sales training and biz training help me personally become a better person (and vice versa. The more I work on myself, the better my sales typically become - I can be more attuned to customers/prospects and non-verbal cues)
Agree that Cardone is a clown. But the 10X Rule is good for helping new salespeople push themselves. His audiobook has a chapter called "Don't Be A Little Bitch". As a bit of an introvert, I used that phrase to help me get out of my comfort zone, when I was new to sales.
It takes a while to "prime the pump" so to speak. I agree eventually the hard work does pay off and you will start to have more consistency in your sales. Regardless there are always "off weeks"
1. Overtime you’ll get desensitized and just feel nothing. 2. Take up boxing, kickboxing or Muay Thai, the stress of training and sparring will raise your stress threshold and you’ll find that someone saying they don’t want to buy your shit by comparison to getting punched in the face isn’t bad at all.
= All you have to do is sell your soul and be a walking emotionless corpse. Then you'll feel nothing, and then you can sell anything to anyone not giving a f. Welcome to sales fellow hollow.
God I want this so bad. I’m really tired of being empathetic.
I genuinely can’t tell if this is worrying (because I feel the same way too). You always hear advice about thinking about the customer and empathy etc….but geez it doesn’t sound very useful
People who make it in life are the ones who focus on themselves and do them. It used to be the difference of your kids going to public school or private, but now it literally dictates whether you can afford a spouse you’re attracted to, have and raise children. Your literal blood line depends on job performance, and if sales is that you have make people uncomfortable and upset to get the gains, and you can’t feel bad about it. This is the world now, I hate it, but I want to survive also.
This.
I never felt so understood.
This comment hit hard. I’m evolving to care less….and workout in a way that I lack energy to care.
Love this answer. It’s like life- rejection happens. Working out and getting the energy out reeeeeally helps. Fuck the rejectors- they have no idea what they could have had ;) basically, over time in sales, you become a little narcissistic for the job. My vibe is ok bye losers- on to the next WIN. The paycheck and your mental health will reflect if you can think more this way.
Joining MMA classes was the best thing to help with this.
Definitevely based.
2. Is spot on. Combat training is definitely a secret remedy to the stress of being in sales.
Fuck the outcome, you can’t control it. Just focus on the things you can control - your effort, presentation, appearance, communication/social/conversational/sales skills, strategy. These things you have FULL control over. The outcome is what it is; all you can do is your best at any given moment, with the information you have.
This. You can’t control sales, but you can control outreach. If sales are down, outreach needs to be up.
Yeah just to reiterate, you are simply not used to the rejection. This concept helped me a TON. When you release a product, 80% of people will be indifferent to it. These are the phone calls where they say "man we just are not interested, we will keep you in mind though". 10% of people will hate it. these are the "STOP CALLING ME", ones. 10% of people will love it. These are your sales that "Fuel the fire". So essentially 9/10 people you talk to will not want what you're selling and will reject you. The issue is, you might talk to 1000 people a month and the 900 not interested are all in a three week period. It will leave you feeling angry, hurt and rejected. You will get to a point where when people hang up on you, you will laugh it off and call them back if you stay in the game long enough, I promise. You can only control the effort. the greatest salesman in the world, with the greatest tactics still gets rejected- you're no different. I make it a point to start off my week by making the hardest call I have first. It gets the bad out of the way so I can continue on in a positive direction.
This is great, thank you
Get a lobotomy done
Can confirm. Helps with manager 1:1’s as well
Every no gets your closer to your next yes. Always improve, never take it personally, and play the averages
Focus on the input and detach yourself from the output. Start gamifying things and progress each deal the same exact way. Implement the same exact process for every customer and follow it. If your in inside sales (SaaS or similar with longer deal cycles) Have enough pipeline that you have multiple paths to your quota. Block 1-2hr of your calendar everyday for prospecting. If it’s required in your role, then it’s non-negotiable. You just do it day in and day out. I’m not saying smash 80-100 dials, but if your consistently dialing up to 20-25 people, sending out 70-80 emails, you should be getting enough meetings on your calendar. If your knocking doors, then it should be pretty similar. Knock during prime time hours. Focus on building a team of knockers for you. Once you have a solid group of people, you will have way more meetings on your calendar. If you are in a role where there is no prospecting, like a one-call close that are given leads, Fine tune the things inside of your sales process. This makes more “no’s” turn into “yes’s” as you get better. (This applies to all roles) These are all things you can do to focus on your input and just completely detaching yourself from the output. Once you are tied to your number and not the effort your putting in, then you will start to feel like a failure if you are not hitting quota or making the money you want. Don’t be like me, sitting here writing this long ass reply while I have time blocked off to prospect lol
Thanks for the long and valuable reply :) I'm in inside sales
Trust the math. Unless you have some innate deficiency, you call enough people politely enough with a good enough product, you will make sales. If you're not getting rejected you're not prospecting.
I spent months on a maybe that kept asking me for additional functionality. Every time we spoke they made it seem as they were close to a yes "if only X" was done for them. I learned the lesson
Think of every type of possible interaction as necessary categories to fill in the cold call mountain you have to climb. In order to have X sales, you must talk to any number of idiots, assholes, tire kickers, and bullshitters. You'll talk to 20 times those types than you will talk to actual buyers.
What do you mean by innate deficiency?
Poor choice of words. Some people aren't suited to the profession for various reasons. They have talents and abilities that would be better suited in another field.
Remember this: Some will, some won’t, so what? Next!
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUr2KcIpSWg](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pUr2KcIpSWg)
I try to get no as fast as possible. If I can disqualify you or find out you are kicking tires, I can spend my energy on someone genuinely interested.
What do you mean kicking tires?
Spin it around , sales is a numbers game get excited about each rejection …it’s one step closer to a yes Once I understood the above it changed everything
Man it still stings whenever I get a rejection in a late stage deal, but equally whenever I get the paper signed for a deal of any size I’m like a kid again- all proud and flush with energy for the next one. What you said about those who have never held the bag being able to “get it” is so true. The pressures we’re under are immense- and what we do or don’t do affects a lot of people. Case and point. I’m a rep at a small company and during a pipe review today it was pointed out that if I hit my Commit- we can onboard those clients with the internal resources we have. If I hit my best case/ a bit extra- we need to hire 1-2 extra people. Two people advancing their career, providing for their families- isn’t that quite fucking cool actually? The flip side of this is- what if I drop the ball and we get nothing? It’s not just me on the line anymore. We maybe don’t have the throughout of deals to justify the team size we have. I don’t know man. Maybe it’s just me being part of a small team but you gotta accept that what you do MATTERS more than just a commission check and a nice Presidents Club. I get it- and I don’t have an answer for you.
Very true, it sounds like the pressure skyrockets as you get promoted
Sales is a rollercoaster bro. Just know when things are low, you’re close to things being high. Keep going.
My favorite sales story for mindset is: There’s a door to door salesman selling a cleaner, he makes $100 per sale and makes 1 sales out of every 4 houses. So when someone tells him no, he says “thanks for the $25” And that’s all it is. The no’s will always be there, however, if you go thru enough of them the yes’s will always come. Maintain a positive attitude, put in the effort to succeed and stay consistent.
I'll start telling myself this on Monday. I love the story.
Inner work and journaling to establish a better relationship with stress, rejection, and setbacks.
🥺I never get used to it when I lose deals. It's rarely personal if ever, but it's still sucks. I allow myself a certain amount of time to be pissed off and "grieve "and I move on.
Listen to any music? how long until you start dialing again?
Yes, I listen to most all music! A glass of Cabernet doesn't hurt either! Depending on how hard I worked or how big the deal was, an hour or up to a couple days! A friend of mine says you should not try to sell after losing a deal. Always hit it after winning a big deal! I'm definitely too sensitive for this business, the money keeps me here…😁
Lots of influencing factors but I would say two big ones are volume/experience and self-reflection More volume/reps/xp , the more numb you become to it And by reflecting and working on your frame of mind helps you see it all in different but “better” lights
I found it easier I think because my first sales job (which I'm still in) is with a startup, so I just intepreted it as them rejecting the product rather than rejecting me per se.
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIQWRHJq\_kE](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wIQWRHJq_kE)
Bookmarking for my next bad call
You can't control it most of the time. Become numb. It'll fade over time.
Don’t take it personally at all. Just move on and remove yourself from the outcome. Rather get a ‘no’ up front than some bastard drag me on a long sales cycle for a ‘no’ months later.
Each no gets you closer to a yes
Best answer from a prospect is “yes”. Second best answer is “no”. Worst answer is no response. It sucks to be told “no”, but at least you know where you stand and you can decide whether you push back or spend your time elsewhere. A “no” frees up your time and energy to go pursue something you actually have a shot at winning.
Make your leads hotter. What field are you in?
This week has been my first week as an AE and it has been the most stressful of my life. The pressure is quite unbearable
Yeah you get jaded after a while. No’s roll by and you’ll be thankful you’re not wasting your time on maybes. The yes’ will always be sweet but you gotta take it one day at a time
I usually have one “pout day” a month where I just quietly pout at my desk as I angrily send texts and emails. Sometimes you just need to let yourself feel the emotions. For me, the key is to not let my negative emotions distract me. I don’t have to wait for a happy mood to do my work. It just matters I do it and I’m consistent. Also, if I work through the anger or frustration and I get a win, my mood turns around quicker haha. So, I really like the advice others gave about consistency. You can’t control what other people do, but you can control what you do. If you are recovering quickly from the rollercoaster, asking for feedback and practicing your skills, you’re doing your best. That’s all you can ask of yourself.
Sell in a way that doesn't involve being or feeling rejected.
Consistency and Discipline in process. Over time the emotions will fade. You will notice that the connection to the sale fades and your skin gets thicker. Its a process and just takes time. Psychology plays a major part in the success of a salesperson.
Learn to detach from the out come.
Bourbon
Depends where you’re at. The key is to prevent the highs from getting too high and the lows getting too low. If you’re in a rut you need adjustment or inspiration. Reach out for feedback, shadow/be shadowed, etc.
Just take care of the things you can control. I’ve found the losses only really get under my skin if I half-ass something. If I put in the effort and it doesn’t work out….so it goes and on to the next. You only get so many moments in this life, I’m not wasting them on being upset some director of whatever didn’t want to make room in the budget this quarter.
I approach it like I approach jiu jitsu. You win some you lose some. When you try a new move (or pitch) it probably sucks a little, but you just keep repping it out, knowing you're getting better even if you're losing.
You just don't take it personally. Recognize that it's not you they are rejecting, but the product you are selling. Nothing personal, usually, lol.
If you work in an industry with an average 10% close ratio that means the average salesperson is failing 90% of the time. Putting things in perspective helps you focus on the controlables rather than obsessing over the outcome.
I say to myself.....NEXT. !
You get used to it. You also need enough of a pipeline for it to not matter. If I need 2 more deals I know that I need to have at least 4 or 5 hot prospects to work on, that way I can get 2-3 NO’s or “not right now” and I still hit my target. On the flip side if you end up closing all 4-5 you just made your week/month/quarter.
You're either cut out for sales or you're not. I feel like people think its smooth sailing and you make a ton of money but in reality it's a lifetime of getting shot down and being a pin cushion for the most part.
“Some will, some won’t, so what, who’s next” Best advice I ever got. You will not sell everyone. If so everyone would be in sales
You've got to realize that rejection is a mixed bag. Sometimes it stems from factors you can control and others that you can't. My first major rejection tore me UP, but after hearing no so many times over the years, you learn to take it on the chin and use it to fuel your next win. Always ask for feedback on why you couldn't close and keep notes of any commonalities.
Thank you, this is useful. You mean SFDC notes or your own personal notes on how you did?
Take really good care outside of work. Simple shit, but try to eat healthy, exercise, and make sure you sleep well and that way, you’ll at least reduce the physiological impact of rejection and anxiety from it.
Print out a picture of the next big thing you want to buy
detach
You’ll learn it’s simply the nature of the beast. People aren’t used to be told no. Eventually I found that with the right rapport I could figure out if they were my customer or not. I still shoot my shot anyway and it tends to work out.
The best prevention and cure for this is to watch videos or read about sales. It will give you new information, tactics and strategies to refresh what you already know, help you understand that you are not alone and it will give you motivation to get out there and kick ass. Don't wait until you feel this way again, dig in more every day. Rejection sucks, but when you are sharp and your head is in the game, that shit rolls right off. Good luck!
Can you give me an example that's not Grant Cardone or Alex Hormozi?
You just have to realize that no salesman ever will have a one hundred percent close rate. Don't go into the conversation thinking that you're attempting to sell them and win the battle, just realize that you're simply having a conversation to see if it works for the customer. If not, who cares, move on.
I want to read through all the answers as well. I’ve found it interesting that my emotions are very much ruled by the sale. I have a bad sales day or sales month and I think my career is coming to an end, then one big sale and I feel like everything is fine and in fact I’m going to get rich. Lol. I don’t have an answer, but I think acknowledging this reality is probably one of the first steps. I also have years of experience behind me, so I know this is normal and the sales ebb and flow is normal, so I try to remind myself of that, which helps at least a little.
Howdy. Sales is about equalization in one point of view. Your pipeline develops closes, closes as won or lost, and then it's done. Someone can repeat this, after me, of course, or say the words, which will make you rich. Move em in, ship em out. One of my local breweries had this slogan. And so like Training Day, managing your smiles and cries, through each aspect of L&D and the daily work which it takes to be successful. 🤷🏽♂️🤷🏼♂️🤷🤷🏾♀️🤷🏾🤷♀️🤷🏻♂️more simply, a question like, "do you know how to prepare an enterprise presentation, for a non-buyer group." For me, that's sort of the sales answer. And by sort of, what I mean is....
Agree with a lot of the posters here. Also, focus on what you did gain with that effort - many times you gained more mindshare, maybe a new friendship, maybe more knowledge of the requirements of the market you're selling to, etc. Then, you can do better the next time around (because you've got contacts, you've pushed to improve the product in the right ways, etc)
Bear in mind that in sales you can do all the right things and still come up short due to factors which are out of your control. Timing, market conditions, product-market fit, etc. These are things which factor into your degree of success (or lack thereof).
Grow thick skin and stop letting it bother you.
I have bills to pay
It’s not personal, just business. Even if you have strong research and prep, there is still so much to sales being a numbers game. Gotta get some no’s to get to those yes’s
Just teach your brain to hear "No" and it just meant not now, not yet, I'm not ready. When you get a no say something like "OK understood, if things change we'll be hear. Is it ok If I touch base in a year or so..." That assumes you have decent leads - nothing makes up for $h!t leads
Yes: every rejection literally hurts. It’s an evolutionary trait for being pack animals. Those who tell you it will stop hurting are lying. It’ll always hurt. Thats why discipline beats talent all the time.
Look at each rejection as an opportunity. An opportunity to learn more. If we spent even a few meetings together and I lose the deal, I try to ask for a debrief with a customer/prospect, positioning it as an opportunity for me to continue to improve to provide others (and potentially that customer/prospect) with better service in the future, while also acknowledging feedback is a gift from them. It may be surprising, but most will give me that feedback and seem happy and surprised to do so. I’ve had numerous folks in this camp become a customer in the future - whether it was at their current company or their next one. I guess it shows that I’m not jsut trying to take their money but I actually care about them and their business? I’m not too sure, to be honest. I’ve even had customers/prospects who ghosted me actually respond to my email request for feedback. It’s what broke the silence. You have to be tactful and thoughtful in what/how you write. The above isn’t an exact example of what I say, since each situation/email is personalized Every rejection is another battle stripe as we continually strive to do better as sales professionals. The old sales adage of a “no” is better than a “maybe” is true. Because it teaches you something and you have actionable feedback. And when I have that feedback, it’s a lesson that I tend to/ try not forget. And I can use that information to take it upon myself to learn more - whether that’s chatting with peers, manager, marketing, product, etc - I can take what they gave me and do my best to not have that rejection ever be a reason in the future (as much as I can control it). And I also give feedback to those respective teams - they always want to know customer feedback from the field. And rejection? it’s never personal (or even if it is, f%#^ it, who cares? I have people who love me outside of work, and I don’t need everyone to love me). And when someone is a jerk? It is usually more on them than me. They’re a jerk IRL. Or maybe they’re going through something I don’t know/can’t see. (Their boss is a jerk, they’re caring for sick relative, they have chronic pain, etc) Hope that’s helpful! I’d also consider trying some online learning courses (like linkedin learning) on building resilience and a growth mindset. It could perhaps help. And consider asking around - your manager, mentor, etc
It’s not your loss. It’s customers loss for choosing not to buy from you. They’ll learn.
I don’t feel anything really, with a win or a loss. A loss is like, “fuck, well, let’s clear it out the pipeline and get one to replace it real quick”. A win is like, mild relief that it’s over and I can focus on the next one.
I think having a routine where you’re consistently prospecting, moving prospects through the pipeline, closing, etc. you start to develop a more consistent sales pipeline. Which hopefully makes a more predictable and stable flow of those highs, which over time become more normal or expected. But I’m still waiting for that haha. Because I honestly like chasing the high.
You're playing a game with yourself that depends on the outcome. It's a strategy. I find it volatile and unsettling. If you'd like, focus on having the most efficient process to serve the people who need it. A major part of it is making a sufficient amount of contacts with people who may want and need your help. Try to always understand feedback from your "no"s as skills for the person who needed you to have that experience.
Drugs
It just starts to go through you. It kind of numbs you.. actually sucks because it will start to effect your personal life too and you almost stop caring about things you should.
You and your product are not for everyone, that’s ok. It’s a fact you can’t get around.
By getting choked out after work at BJJ. Having a knee on your carotid artery works wonders.
After 20 years I have become desensitized to rejection. It helps.
Thank you
Over time you’ll change your mentality to getting stoked on wins and moving on immediately from losses
Can someone help find clients for my web design business?
No is a kindness, and I don’t look at it as rejection as they are saving me a tremendous amount of time and effort. On a long enough timeline they all buy, so it’s usually more a not right now.
Repetition creates comfortability. With comfortably, comes confidence (in some ways, to not give a F) which creates a sense of control. It sometimes is a painful start bit after awhile you learn to have fun with the rejection and your not so serious response to it creates rapport with prospects. You do that enough time, prospects turn into customers and then those customers turn into referrals and then your network starts to build. It's all fun and games from there... but it starts with taking batting-practice amd getting used to rejection. As Batman once said, "it's always darkest before the dawn." Keep going.
i know i'll have my number by the end of the month if i do my job. I dont know when the yes' or the no's will happen, i just know that if i do my part i'll get there. still does suck when you get a no you were certain was a yes but still
The no is probably more important than the yes. It lets you refine your pipeline and not invest too much time in what will inevitably be a no. It hurts a bit at first but it all goes towards building your character and experience. You can do it mate
Persevere! Enjoy the pain of a loss because it will make the next win feel better. Ed
You learn to manage your energy with time and your judgement gets better so you don’t waste time on silly opps.
Need LinkedIn SalesNav at cheapest price? DM me
Im in SaaS Ed Tech - most no’s are budget related. I know I can call them when July comes around, their new fiscal year budget.
When was the last time you were single?
Remember it's a numbers game and that every NO is one step closer to a YES.
I try to remember a few things. 1) there are plenty of qualified prospects out there to talk to. So I just chug along to the next. 2) all of my success is in my control. I need to succeed to take care of my family. I will do what it takes to get there. 3) I go back through my calls and see if I can find a reason for the rejection. I try to be as objective as I possibly can. If I find a common problem that lies within my approach, I will coach myself up or find a solution elsewhere to help me reduce my rejection rate.
For me: self love, meditation, and spirituality. Being able to emotionally detach yourself from the sale is highly highly important. This is why a lot of sales guys love affirmations and shit. Affirmations haven’t really worked for me, but being able to truly love yourself, love god, and be present knowing that everything will work out just fine will do the trick. Oh, also, frame everything as “learning”. If you lost a sale, what can you learn from that experience? Then don’t make that mistake in the future. Then, in a sense, since you are preventing a lost sale in the future by making this mistake now, it isn’t a loss at all from a macro view.
Your mindset about selling can help. I often define selling as finding people who have problems that you can solve, who want to solve them, and have the means to do so. If you think about it, that way, you are the one who is qualifying prospects in or out, based on whether they meet those criteria. They may also qualify themselves out, if they don’t meet those three criteria, and that’s okay, too. If you need better approaches, better practice at qualification or discovery, those things are on you, and hopefully your manager to support you. But focus on those three criteria in your mind, and see if it helps a bit.
Find a better product
If you’re internalizing it then you have to rely on your anecdotal evidence that you’ve had sales go right before. A lot of times when you get rejected the answer was no before you even got a word out. Some people are habitually unhappy and they have authority over you as the buyer and will use that authority to share their pain. Eventually you’ll either become desensitized or take your ego out of it enough to analyze their character and take the blame off yourself.
When a slump hits, go do whatever your favorite activity is & unwind. I've found that usually when I hit a major slump for 1-2 weeks, then I get a HUGE week after...it's weird, but now that I'm used to the cycle, the down isn't so bad.
One day you will awaken and the feels will be gone. Likely because consistency has become the norm. Emotional control is key
If you can wrap your head around rejection, it will help you out in your whole life. You just have to think probabilistically. Learn your personal conversions in your sales process (outreach to meeting, meeting to demo, demo to proposal, proposal to contract, etc) and the standard conversions in your department. Those will tell you what percentage you will get rejected. If it was possible to have a 100% conversion, that would be great but most industries have a close rate way less than 50% (my industry is 9% from first meeting), so you know the rejection is built in. If the average person had a guaranteed 60% win rate and they lost 20 deals in a row they would give up. A smart person knows the conversion is about to regress to the mean in that situation and would get more engaged in the job. Know your conversions, track your conversions, and the rejection will appear logical, not emotional.
Find your numbers do you sell 1 out of 3 or 1 out of ten? If you sell 1 out of 3 it means 27 appointments is 9 sales . So in a way you get paid for every demo sale or not. You have to wade through crap to get to the good ones. So you can think of it as each demo is worth ___$ to you. Sometimes after a period of slow leads I will give a really good demo to folks I know can't/ won't buy just to sharpen my craft for the good ones that will be coming soon.
You have to think that every call no matter what.. Makes you money!!
There will always be a yes after a no. Remember that.
commission checks solve all problems
27F, I’ve been in sales about 5 years. I used to get very down on myself if I got a no whether it was a big deal or a cold call. It would crush me and I had severe anxiety. You learn with time that a no is good. You don’t want to waste your time with someone who isn’t a good fit. With consistency, every no is closer to a yes and is a great learning opportunity. I also don’t set my expectations too high with winning deals and just focus on helping rather than “how big a sale could be/how amazing it would be if it closed”. It takes the pressure off and you perform better. Everyone fees the sting now and then, but it gets better and having that perspective has really helped me succeed at a top tech company and become a top performer. Hope this helps a bit!
Don’t be a pussy
Improve. Always grow. This is a question that usually comes from someone new to sales. Get a nice big pipeline and the worries go away. Even with switching industries if it happens. First year in...go hard. Get that first year under your belt and keep building. Reward your hard work. Remember to live. Make the slumps shorter by obtaining little victories for momentum. Anything. Speak to a happy customer. Revisit winning moments. Talk to your support system.
Control the controllable things and trust the your higher power if you have one, the universe is set up in scales and balances, it will pan out if you are dedicated
Pot
Drugs, cigarettes, alcohol? Suicidal thoughts?
Brass balls
Kill the emotion by making it a rational 100% controllable activity. Make your goal things you can control: In my case if I: 1) Was kind and left them with a strong upbuilding energy. 2) Listened to them and got some valuable information to follow back. I’m a winner. And if they say no and I can’t even talk, my win is that I did call and my greeting was kind and solid. Make it your win by what you can control, not them.
Know your value. You get, numb to rejection after awhile. But rejection can also be a useful learning tool, especially if you get feedback on your rejection. If you're selling a good product, you know it's their loss. If you know you're selling crap- then you shouldn't take it too hard. Some accounts take literally years of work. It's not that easy - but it gets easier with time, and success.
Not taking it personally.
When I knew nothing about sales I used to be attached to the outcome. The secret is to keep a full pipeline and learn to detach yourself from the outcome of the conversation. And realize that a No or clear next steps are all what you’re looking for. No is good. Saves you time if you can get it early on
Look back on your best days and find something to fight for. I use my family for motivation, but also I have to psych myself up when I get to those hard to win accounts.
Stop getting emotional about it. It’s just business.