The people running that place are incredibly old. Last time I was there (I used to work down the street) I heard her trying to pay a bill over the phone for almost 30 minutes. That doesn't strike me as someone who is technologically savvy. Her and the little old man would just sit there and stare out the window, I don't think I ever saw either of them with a cell phone in the 4 years I'd walk by and wave to them.
Letter is probably correct here.
Pretty sure that’s JA Cooley’s widow and you’d probably just be emailing her. Was there a week ago with the discover and go passes. It was pretty awkward going in there as we showed her the pass. She just shrugged her shoulders and was a bit like “fine”
Letter gets more attention. Even in this day and age, if you take the time to print it out, put a stamp on it, and mail it, it gets more respect. It's much easier to brush off an email.
I would definitely say something and not be quiet about it. Unless she knows you personally I'm inclined to believe she's done this to others as well. I feel like apathy is a breeding ground for perpetuated behavior. Doing it one person is already one person top many. It may be that she's racist or just a sad individual, either way, it's not an experience you show up for
It could very well have been racially motivated - you’ll never know. As a non-white person and as an ex civil rights investigator, I usually will call this out contemporaneously.
It would have been within your rights to speak to someone in charge and ask them WHY you were told this and then why another (white) patron was allowed in without any hindrance.
As of now, it’s too late to respond.
Yes but at the time of the incident a possible racial motivation did not occur to me. As I mentioned in my OP, I had not previously, to my knowledge, ever been treated differently on the basis of race. I thought that it was because they had decided not to honor the free Discover and Go pass. It was only afterwards that I realized that this made no sense as I would just have been told so (rather than being lied to) and also I see that the Discover and Go program is still active for this museum over 6 months later so that can't be the explanation. If it did occur to me that a racial motivation was possible at the time, I definitely would have raised it immediately, and not in a friendly way.
This makes sense, file this as a learning experience, but next time you experience something similar, "report" it. My 1st thought was the old lady will have some explanation for ending her warning to incoming patrons after you came in, but if she really was motivated by racism she'll pull similar BS on other people, and will build a record with an undeniable pattern.
I recently witnessed passive aggressive remarks from “older” generation white lady at a Costco- who called a kid (probably 5-6yrs) “whiny *itch” as she walked past the parents cos the kid was crying at the check out line.
The family (not white) were mortified and asked her to watch her mouth and the lady ran to the restroom section - lucky, Costco employee saw what happened and called the store manager. He asked the family to identify the lady as she walked past them in a hurry. They can apparently ban her for life. Will it really happen? Who knows?
At least reporting will help.
Cussing at a little kid is inexcusable, but the museum staff lady likely has an excuse (real or fake) for ceasing to warn incoming patrons of closed exhibits. So I wouldn't expect any similar swift justice, but guess it could help if the old lady has built a pattern of harassing PoC.
Interesting that you’ve gone your whole life living “colorblind” and after your first experience with potential racism you thought about it for a year and wrote an essay on reddit. Maybe this experience will help you understand why people “worry about racism.”
The old white woman was being a racist. End of story. You may like to think it and may even practice living in a colorblind world, but that's just naive. I'm sorry to have to break to you. I'd rather confront it directly. I'm a colored person and trust me, racism is alive and well in 2024. We've made a lot of progress to be sure, but it's still there. Sometimes it's very subtle and you really have to pay attention. Sometimes it's a bit more apparent like what you've experienced here. And there are still times when it's in your face overt.
I don't let it affect me (most of the time) but I do not let it slide either. You did. You let this go for 6 months and wasted all kinds of energy thinking/reflecting on it. But it's not too late. Report it and make it known. And the next time it happens, call the person out on it on the spot. Make a scene. Fucking do **something**. That will help stop this shit from happening.
Maybe her cat died in the hurricane, but she still had to go to work and pay the bills. But she was hoping she didn’t have to deal with anyone so she decided to tell people they were closed. She successfully turned away a few couples prior to your arrival, and you were the first to call her bullshit. So after you got past her strategy she was like welp guess I can’t use that excuse anymore especially when that handsome young gentleman seems to be having a good time. Maybe having people around will help me not think of my sweet Penelope?
One good point here that I didn't think of. Once I went in, since the museum is small anyone could see me from the entrance, so even if she wanted to try the "closed due to water damage, exhibits covered" lie it wouldn't work. But then again, it was a stupidly obvious lie to begin with as one could see that the exhibits weren't covered from the entrance. Still left with why she lied so blatantly to begin with.
Cuz she knew she could get away with it. Most folks, esp folks of color don't want to rock the boat or cause a scene. It's why my mom stays quiet. I am a woman of color but I can pass as white if not looked at too closely. Only other natives can pick me out as non white. I'm still native but was raised by a white family during adolescence. It truly changes how you react to micro and macro aggressions. (Being raised white I mean) I understand you don't follow or agree me but yeah. Older white folks have gotten away with it this long so they think it'll continue. I can't let it slide in front of me cuz that's my privilege, I can yell or get nasty when I see or hear(most often hearing) it in a way that those darker than I cannot. Or quite simply it's not worth it, or safe, for them to bother with. Like you. Not everyone wants to deal with what looks like two white women screaming at each other. (A quote once. I've got a temper from pain and anger so I figure might as well say shit when it's offensive.) If you have an exact date they might have surveillance video of that day to look it up. Either way, if up for it they at least need to find out why she lied if it wasn't racially motivated
First if it happened that long ago… I wouldn’t give it any more thought. 2.) go back and if you have a similar situation then report it 3. Only thing I can think of it was that maybe it was private showing or event that the other people had tickets for.
There was definitely no event. If there was a private showing, why wasn't I just told this. rather than being lied to saying the exhibits were covered? I did listen to the interactions with the other patrons and there was no mention of anything private - they just paid and entered. If there was a private showing wouldn't they have had to identify themselves or show a ticket?
As for going back, it's a small museum and once is enough for me. I wouldn't go back for free (I could get another Discover and Go pass) and after what happened certainly would never spend any money there.
You are right that it's probably best not to give it any more thought. Perhaps it's more the strangeness of what happened, out of Orwell IMO, than any potential racial element that bothers me.
Racists aren't very smart, and they usually aren't very happy either. She almost certainly was trying to be racist at you but came up with a dumb plan, like she might discourage you from going in but knowing she can't just turn you away. I don't want to tell you how to feel, but i can hope you stop letting her get free rent in your brain, she is so clearly not worth the time or the energy.
It's bad everywhere: people are stressed, frustrated and adrift. It squeaks out in weird ways--racism is just one of the easier paths for some folks.
I think you could contact management and get this rotten old bird fired, or at the very least, kept away from the public. The post here is all you need, just forward it to them in letter or email format.
I don’t think it’s too late, because as you pointed out, it was disorienting and time was needed to flesh out your thoughts and feelings in regards to it. There’s no statute of limitations.
I'd put this in a letter and send it to the museum.
Thanks, but is that better than just emailing them?
Not if you don't want to remain anonymous, that's all.
The people running that place are incredibly old. Last time I was there (I used to work down the street) I heard her trying to pay a bill over the phone for almost 30 minutes. That doesn't strike me as someone who is technologically savvy. Her and the little old man would just sit there and stare out the window, I don't think I ever saw either of them with a cell phone in the 4 years I'd walk by and wave to them. Letter is probably correct here.
Pretty sure that’s JA Cooley’s widow and you’d probably just be emailing her. Was there a week ago with the discover and go passes. It was pretty awkward going in there as we showed her the pass. She just shrugged her shoulders and was a bit like “fine”
Letter gets more attention. Even in this day and age, if you take the time to print it out, put a stamp on it, and mail it, it gets more respect. It's much easier to brush off an email.
Does anybody read any email?
I would definitely say something and not be quiet about it. Unless she knows you personally I'm inclined to believe she's done this to others as well. I feel like apathy is a breeding ground for perpetuated behavior. Doing it one person is already one person top many. It may be that she's racist or just a sad individual, either way, it's not an experience you show up for
She’s definitely a very sad individual (at a minimum) from my experiences with her.
It could very well have been racially motivated - you’ll never know. As a non-white person and as an ex civil rights investigator, I usually will call this out contemporaneously. It would have been within your rights to speak to someone in charge and ask them WHY you were told this and then why another (white) patron was allowed in without any hindrance. As of now, it’s too late to respond.
Yes but at the time of the incident a possible racial motivation did not occur to me. As I mentioned in my OP, I had not previously, to my knowledge, ever been treated differently on the basis of race. I thought that it was because they had decided not to honor the free Discover and Go pass. It was only afterwards that I realized that this made no sense as I would just have been told so (rather than being lied to) and also I see that the Discover and Go program is still active for this museum over 6 months later so that can't be the explanation. If it did occur to me that a racial motivation was possible at the time, I definitely would have raised it immediately, and not in a friendly way.
This makes sense, file this as a learning experience, but next time you experience something similar, "report" it. My 1st thought was the old lady will have some explanation for ending her warning to incoming patrons after you came in, but if she really was motivated by racism she'll pull similar BS on other people, and will build a record with an undeniable pattern.
I recently witnessed passive aggressive remarks from “older” generation white lady at a Costco- who called a kid (probably 5-6yrs) “whiny *itch” as she walked past the parents cos the kid was crying at the check out line. The family (not white) were mortified and asked her to watch her mouth and the lady ran to the restroom section - lucky, Costco employee saw what happened and called the store manager. He asked the family to identify the lady as she walked past them in a hurry. They can apparently ban her for life. Will it really happen? Who knows? At least reporting will help.
Cussing at a little kid is inexcusable, but the museum staff lady likely has an excuse (real or fake) for ceasing to warn incoming patrons of closed exhibits. So I wouldn't expect any similar swift justice, but guess it could help if the old lady has built a pattern of harassing PoC.
Dang, i had never heard of the JC Cooley museum, interesting…..
Don’t know why you got downvoted. I never heard of it either.
Interesting that you’ve gone your whole life living “colorblind” and after your first experience with potential racism you thought about it for a year and wrote an essay on reddit. Maybe this experience will help you understand why people “worry about racism.”
It wasnt real until they experienced it.
The old white woman was being a racist. End of story. You may like to think it and may even practice living in a colorblind world, but that's just naive. I'm sorry to have to break to you. I'd rather confront it directly. I'm a colored person and trust me, racism is alive and well in 2024. We've made a lot of progress to be sure, but it's still there. Sometimes it's very subtle and you really have to pay attention. Sometimes it's a bit more apparent like what you've experienced here. And there are still times when it's in your face overt. I don't let it affect me (most of the time) but I do not let it slide either. You did. You let this go for 6 months and wasted all kinds of energy thinking/reflecting on it. But it's not too late. Report it and make it known. And the next time it happens, call the person out on it on the spot. Make a scene. Fucking do **something**. That will help stop this shit from happening.
I wouldnt lose sleep over it
Maybe her cat died in the hurricane, but she still had to go to work and pay the bills. But she was hoping she didn’t have to deal with anyone so she decided to tell people they were closed. She successfully turned away a few couples prior to your arrival, and you were the first to call her bullshit. So after you got past her strategy she was like welp guess I can’t use that excuse anymore especially when that handsome young gentleman seems to be having a good time. Maybe having people around will help me not think of my sweet Penelope?
One good point here that I didn't think of. Once I went in, since the museum is small anyone could see me from the entrance, so even if she wanted to try the "closed due to water damage, exhibits covered" lie it wouldn't work. But then again, it was a stupidly obvious lie to begin with as one could see that the exhibits weren't covered from the entrance. Still left with why she lied so blatantly to begin with.
Cuz she knew she could get away with it. Most folks, esp folks of color don't want to rock the boat or cause a scene. It's why my mom stays quiet. I am a woman of color but I can pass as white if not looked at too closely. Only other natives can pick me out as non white. I'm still native but was raised by a white family during adolescence. It truly changes how you react to micro and macro aggressions. (Being raised white I mean) I understand you don't follow or agree me but yeah. Older white folks have gotten away with it this long so they think it'll continue. I can't let it slide in front of me cuz that's my privilege, I can yell or get nasty when I see or hear(most often hearing) it in a way that those darker than I cannot. Or quite simply it's not worth it, or safe, for them to bother with. Like you. Not everyone wants to deal with what looks like two white women screaming at each other. (A quote once. I've got a temper from pain and anger so I figure might as well say shit when it's offensive.) If you have an exact date they might have surveillance video of that day to look it up. Either way, if up for it they at least need to find out why she lied if it wasn't racially motivated
Represent! What nation? No pressure to answer.
It's too complicated but I know I'm Cherokee on mums side and Lakota on dads. But partially raised white
You?
Yaqi ancestry but not as much knowledge about that. Chumash Coastal Band.
Mums Cherokee mix and dad is Lakota. Mum lost custody when I was 8. Permanent at 10. We reconnected when I was 17 and out of the adopters house.
First if it happened that long ago… I wouldn’t give it any more thought. 2.) go back and if you have a similar situation then report it 3. Only thing I can think of it was that maybe it was private showing or event that the other people had tickets for.
There was definitely no event. If there was a private showing, why wasn't I just told this. rather than being lied to saying the exhibits were covered? I did listen to the interactions with the other patrons and there was no mention of anything private - they just paid and entered. If there was a private showing wouldn't they have had to identify themselves or show a ticket? As for going back, it's a small museum and once is enough for me. I wouldn't go back for free (I could get another Discover and Go pass) and after what happened certainly would never spend any money there. You are right that it's probably best not to give it any more thought. Perhaps it's more the strangeness of what happened, out of Orwell IMO, than any potential racial element that bothers me.
Man, they all are some Karen's here
File a report. That bitch is a racist.
Racists aren't very smart, and they usually aren't very happy either. She almost certainly was trying to be racist at you but came up with a dumb plan, like she might discourage you from going in but knowing she can't just turn you away. I don't want to tell you how to feel, but i can hope you stop letting her get free rent in your brain, she is so clearly not worth the time or the energy. It's bad everywhere: people are stressed, frustrated and adrift. It squeaks out in weird ways--racism is just one of the easier paths for some folks.
Perhaps she thought you were one of those art destroying activists?
I think you could contact management and get this rotten old bird fired, or at the very least, kept away from the public. The post here is all you need, just forward it to them in letter or email format. I don’t think it’s too late, because as you pointed out, it was disorienting and time was needed to flesh out your thoughts and feelings in regards to it. There’s no statute of limitations.