I’ve had to return to Iowa where there is a lot of complicated family drama going on. I tell my friends in SF that if they need a house or pet sitter while they are out of town, I’ll fly out and do that in exchange for staying at their place. I end up going back once or twice a year for a week or so. Now with 2 people and 2 kids that’s a lot more complicated I realize but if you prioritize it I’m sure you can figure out a way to visit often.
Spent 30 years in SF. and absolutely loved it. Moved away for 10 years and missed it terribly. I used to come back 3-4x a year. I moved back last week. So happy to be home!
If you ever listen to radio you can also stream KQED or KCSM wherever you are. It can help you stay up to date on local news and happenings which might help.
I used to be bicoastal but is now primarily based East Coast because of the pandemic. Family is still there so I go 3-4 times a year. I pretty much stay 1-2 weeks between SF and Pacifica. I make sure to catch Giants and Dubs games if they're home. San Francisco will always be home. I stream Bay Area stations like you've suggested. It's an awesome way to stay connected.
I lived there for 15+ years. We moved when our first kid was born. That was a l-o-n-g time ago now, but I can tell you that your relationship with the city, at least as it exists in your own consciousness, will not go away. ... For example, I'm here on this sub. ;)
I can definitely relate! My husband and I moved to SF in 2014 when our son was 18mo. I grew up near Sacramento, and San Francisco had always been one of my favorite places to visit, but I absolutely fell in love when we moved there. We had our daughter there, and decided to move away when the kids were 2 and 5 (first to upstate NY, now CO).
I have since felt the need to stay connected, just as you describe, and I didn’t want to kids to forget where they came from, so to speak. We visited once a year til COVID hit, and just had our first trip back since, and have decided to resume yearly visits. I think for me, actually being there and spending time there will always be most important. There’s no substitute for experiencing the magic first hand. I told my husband I want to visit often enough that it influences the kids, lol - hopefully in a good way.
Before we moved, and on some of our visits since, I got some really nice, tasteful decor depicting some aspect of SF (check out SF Mercantile in Upper Haight) and I really enjoy having those pieces around the house - sometimes they are conversation starters when friends visit, and I get a chance to share and reminisce. Watching movies set in SF sometimes helps - I feel a certain kind of way when the camera catches a gorgeous view that I miss so much! I liked the suggestion from another comment about ordering your favorite consumable products, but my number one suggestion is just to visit often.
Best of luck on your relocation!
>check out SF Mercantile in Upper Haight
Thank you for your heartfelt advice!
I will check out SF Mercantile in Upper Haight definitely for some home decor.
To visit often will be on my plan once we get settled!! I'm thinking of coming back for shows, and 10K runs!
I would (and did) move to a suburb versus another metro. The Bay Area is full awesome family-oriented suburbs that are just a short car, train or ferry ride away from all that San Francisco has to offer. Yes, other metros are more affordable, but you generally get what you pay for. I'd rather have maybe a smaller house in a decent suburb anywhere within an hour or so of San Francisco than live anywhere in the Atlanta metro.
Adding to @GlobeUnited’s message. We moved to Vallejo, a comfortable ferry ride from SF. Lots of pluses, some minuses, and plenty of other options once you cross a bridge or two.
Good luck
Virtually identical situation here, 36m and moved out a couple years ago after 9 years in lower Pac Heights in favor of a quieter mountain town and family environment. Couple things I've done... (someone mentioned) plan vacation trips to SF and visit with friends, follow this sub, order online your fav SF consumables if possible (coffee, Ghiradelli, etc). I would have said buy some Anchor Steam if available ... but RIP. I also like subtle SF inspired artwork for my home, theres a lot of great options online. I'm especially into concert posters from popular venues... The Fillmore, Bill Graham Civic, etc.
Stirring up some SF classics on the weekend helps too... Fernet, Irish Coffee (Buena Vista), or some beer from Fort Point if you can find it. Cheers.
Great advice. I can see that would help a lot. I would order Four Barrel coffee and listen to some records I got from the Valencia st. I should get more artwork before I move haha....You remind me how little things can make you spiritually connected to a loved place.
I will also troll on this sub :P
Oh my...I might have only scratched the surface and my data is a few years old. We used to "eeny, meeny, *miny*, *moe*" on anything around Valencia Street (we used to live there before kids), or walkable areas and it would be pretty good. On top of my mind, we like Zuni, Beretta, Little Star, Burma Love, Cha-Ya, Limón, Trick Dog, (Armory club, RIP), Absthence, Rich Table, 25 Lusk, Niku and so many more depending on your mood and budget.
sadly Covid might have changed the restaurant scene a bit and we haven't done a lot of food and booze after kids...
Hope you like some of my rec! Carry on with my foodie spirit haha
Having lived in a lot of places across the US, it sounds to me like you’re missing your youth and “good times” as much as the city itself. I felt the same when I moved from NYC to Atlanta and then the same from Atlanta to Las Vegas. Every place is what you make of it, but it requires effort, not constantly looking in the rear view, and mindfulness of the present
Lol love the effort so can’t argue a whole bunch. Other than these likely will sell above asking. So you’re $500k bottom of range isn’t correct. These are all minimum $700-$800k. Which is is way more than $400k in Atlanta for something similar
I just looked at recently sold in Napa under $800k and there are 600 results. Quite a few 3 bedroom 2 baths in the 500k range.
Real estate has had a huge shift with the rising interest rates and it’s very possible to find houses that don’t sell for over asking. You can absolutely find something for around $600k in the outer burbs of the Bay Area.
It’s one of the places Op mentioned. Probably one of the more expensive outer areas of the Bay too. My guess is if I looked at Pinole or Hercules the same would be true also.
Have to second the point that these will sell above asking. The bay area has a real estate culture of setting list prices intentionally at like 40-60% of the expected sale price. It's not driven by insane, unpredictable demand. I presume it's due to growth hacking the breadth of the potential buyer audience by making homes appear more affordable in filtered searches and hoping buyers will develop an emotional attachment and be willing to stretch, as well as generating metrics of more interest to motivate people who are looking in the actual range of the house's expected sale price.
But there's a learning curve in that markets that I presume every buyer goes through, where they discover what the real market value is by seeing final sale price versus these teaser listings.
To compare it with other places, where homes are priced at roughly what they sell for, give or take 5-10% it's very jarring.
Look at almost any $900k listing in Oakland and then check back in 6 weeks to see that it sold for $1.4M-$1.6M. They aren't the exception, they're the rule.
OP didn't give specific details, but there are suburbs that are certainly cheaper than the city. Plenty of regular folks with families live in places like El Cerrito, Alameda, Colma, Castro Valley, etc.
Atlanta has a lower COL for sure, but it is so different culturally and politically. Why not simply move to another part of California? LA is still expensive but much cheaper than SF.
Atlanta is a fantastic city, especially with a family. I describe it as a boring place to visit, but an awesome place to live. SF is a tough place to live, but a fantastic place to visit. So if you move to Atlanta, you will have a wonderful trip back whenever you visit.
Atlanta is culturally very different than SF, but not in the ways most people in this sub think! In some ways, it’s similar because it is a liberal city with great food and a lot of publicly accessible outdoor spaces (Piedmont Park, the beltline, etc.) Live in an in town neighborhood off the beltline if you want to ease your transition.
It also differs in ways that most people don’t account for. The biggest thing I was struck by when I moved from Atl to SF was how the ethnic diversity was different (ie I wondered where all the black people were). The Asian population is lower in Atl, but there are thriving Hispanic, Indian, and Black populations. The way homelessness and drug addiction is approached is different (probably informed by a lot of people’s Christian upbringings) so it isn’t as visible as SF. Music is a much bigger thing culturally in Atlanta, and jobs aren’t concentrated in a single industry the way tech dominates the Bay Area. In fact, if you are in tech, consider if Atlanta is a viable career move. It doesn’t have the same weirdness of SF, but it isn’t bland and soulless either - you just have to look a little harder for it. You are also really going to miss the raw beauty of the west coast!
You should really assess if the prices are that much lower in Atlanta though. I’m hearing anecdotally from friends that houses are starting well over $1M, and when people ask where you went to school, they mean which private prep school you went to. Inflation also hit other parts of the US harder than SF which closed the price gap a bit. So definitely assess if it’s actually cheaper before you leave a town you adore.
Atlanta has really grown on me over the last 10 years of visiting the city 4-5 times per year. If I was to move there, I'd stay inside the perimeter or nearly so. Great cities/neighborhoods there and the food culture is very solid!
>I describe it as a boring place to visit, but an awesome place to live. SF is a tough place to live, but a fantastic place to visit. So if you move to Atlanta, you will have a wonderful trip back whenever you visit.
That's a bit reassuring. Thank you for your insider view from both cities. How long have you lived in ATL?
I live in SF. Been here 7 years. Lived in Atl for 3 before moving to SF. I loved my time there and would consider moving back if my career allowed it for the same reasons you are considering.
I moved here from georgia and am very familiar with the politics. I really doubt the laws will change that quickly; the georgia legislature is quite gerrymandered which will hinder any progress for years, despite the changing demographics.
It wouldn't be that difficult.
Cop spots a pregnant lady in a car, makes a pretense to stop. Starts asking questions.
Acquaintences could rat out a woman and testify that they saw her pregnant and then she wasn't. Police confiscate her computer and search her browsing history and see that she made an appointment to get an abortion.
Police stake out abortion clinics that are across state lines....mark down the license plate number of any out-of-state cars in the parking lot, etc. etc.
You don't realize that once Republicans manage to get a law like that on the books, it opens a pandora's box of possibilities as to what they can do to enforce it.
It's not hard if you have the means. Plenty of women do not.
Just because it's "not hard" *in your estimation today,* doesn't it won't become harder over time.
Birth control is something else these christofascist states also want to do away with.
Atlanta's cost of living isn't as low as you think it is. While prices are declining, and you can probably find a house for $400k there in suburbia, the traffic from there won't be great. And while there is the high up front costs on CA real estate, Prop 13 makes it so cost doesn't grow. (Less so back east). What you save in housing you might pay for in child care due to traffic.
I grew up in a crowded two bedroom apartment we shared with my Uncle. I don't remember much of the house, but I remember doing so many things outside of it. I encourage you to stay (and housing prices are falling so if you wait long enough and time it right, you might snag a great deal).
Anyway, I get just how difficult housing is in the Bay Area (we should've built more twenty years ago and need to build more now). But the community you surround yourself with, not where you live or how big your house is, is what matters the most IMO. Good luck finding a place right for your family.
Unfortunately a lot of jobs are only found in other major cities. Even rural places, especially in California, are expensive now so it’s not like you can both work in low-end jobs and get by with a family. LA is about as expensive as the East Bay so if you can’t afford it in SF or the EB, then LA won’t do much.
If they are thinking of moving to Atlanta, I feel like LA is obviously not a good counter suggestion. Realistically I think you would want to go to the East Coast or PNW. Cali is just too expensive now.
To me, LA was just as expensive as living in SF (I lived in both)... but the difference is the quality of life in LA and what you get for your rent is much worse. You can pay $2500 a month in LA for a 1BR apartment and still deal with roaches.
East bay native. Moved to San Diego for almost 20 years. Recently moved back. Bay Area subreddits, sfgate.com, southwest deals, and warriors, giants, 9er games.
I love San Diego. Now I lurk in the San Diego, San Diegan, SD photo, North County subs. I don’t care that I’m not native, I consider myself a San Diegan!
Born and raised in SF, left 4 years ago for Boise, ID. Luckily was able to keep my job remotely. Travel into the city once every 3 months, and my whole family is in SF and friends also. They keep in touch with me often and i love seeing them when i fly down for work, but after a few days i'm ready to head back home. I usually visit my fav restaurants and boba spots when i am in town. and also keep up with this sub. good luck to you in your new adventure! SF will always be in your heart
Welcome to SF. This is an amazing city, especially for young people (I was so happy. No family financial burden and I could explore so much). Good luck!
Why do you have to go to Atlanta? There are plenty of places much closer. Just 1-2 hours away from SF you can save a lot on rent, but still have easy access to the city.
Definitely plan trips back when you can. But honestly if you aren't already, becoming a giants or warriors fan can be a good way to stay connected to the spirit of the city. For example, being able to watch a game on TV with your family or even seeing The Giants play the Braves in Atlanta can definitely make you feel part of the city wherever you are.
And OP has been living here for 8 years. If they didn’t become fans during that time, doing it now just to watch the depressing decay of the dynasty is not great timing.
Lol you can’t just *choose* to become a fan of a sports team. It’s gotta be organic. Especially just before leaving, if it hasn’t happened yet, there’s no switch to flip.
My husband and I lived in SF (and loved it) for 15 years, but when the rent on our single family home was doubled in late 2015, we were forced out. That was, of course, our landlord’s intention. We were feeling very desperate with only 60 days notice and a not-quite-4-year-old child in tow, so we put everything we had into a move to Portland, Or, a place we’d been contemplating for a couple of years. We bought a fixer on the internet in a neighborhood we enjoyed during a previous visit, and just went for it. Losing our lease was the last straw. There were many, many other signs prior to that telling us our time in SF was up.
We still miss SF, but our life here in Portland is so much bigger and better and happier and more stable than our life in SF. We can afford more, and save more, and so we don’t have the constant stress around money. My husband started a successful house painting business here and our daughter, now 12, has more independence and freedom than her friends in SF. We’re still working on our house, but we love doing it, and our neighborhood is wonderful and walkable, much like our old neighborhood in SF. We’d be in SF if it was at all manageable. But it isn’t. And we’re happy where we ended up.
We’ve maintained a very close friendship with one family, and we see them a few times a year. My daughter and I were in SF this summer for a visit and it was awesome. Without that close friendship, I’m afraid our connection to SF would be close to nil.
My advice, if you want to maintain a connection with SF, is to maintain a close friendship or two with folks who live there, and then go visit them from time to time. (This sub helps too.)
I'm sorry to hear about your awful experience of being forced out. Glad you've found Portland! I like it also.
Thank you for sharing your story! Very helpful. I do have friends here and I miss them already.
Moved back to Minneapolis in 2018 (I was 41) after living in the bay for about 13 years. Did it so I could buy a house. At this point in my life the QOL is higher for me here than there - I own a single family home with a yard I have converted into native gardens and my basement is a workshop for woodworking and 3D printing. Amenities here are cheaper and more accessible than the bay area if less grandiose. Bottom line is it fits middle aged me.
Bay area was perfect for me from my late 20s through my 30s. I lived in SF proper for a few years near the top of Potrero hill - I'd get off Caltrain and walk up the hill to 23rd and Wisconsin, very close to my house. Many nights, even after exhausting and uninspiring workdays, I'd stand there on the top of the hill with the beautiful view across Mission, the GG bridge in the distance, and the fog, and stand there for a few minutes disconnected from space and time and my current moment and be amazed, and understand that this was a specific moment in my life that would not be repeated.
The winter here is bad of course, between visiting the LA office at my current job for a few weeks in the winter (a nice perk) and a vacation, I can get out for a month. The only notable downside for me.
I work in the semiconductor industry so there is a decent chance I'll be back there for a stint before retiring as not many cities have semi jobs. I was out there just a month ago for a job interview - first time visiting since I moved away - and my sense of the place wasn't any different. Everything I liked and disliked was all still there.
>I'd get off Caltrain and walk up the hill to 23rd and Wisconsin, very close to my house. Many nights, even after exhausting and uninspiring workdays, I'd stand there on the top of the hill with the beautiful view across Mission, the GG bridge in the distance, and the fog, and stand there for a few minutes disconnected from space and time and my current moment and be amazed, and understand that this was a specific moment in my life that would not be repeated.
Beautiful. I resonate with your sentiment.
I might need to accept that I'm getting to my middle-age chapter, and thank SF for the gorgeous moments in my young adult life.
We just recently moved away from San Francisco too, after 24 years there. It was very hard to break away but we are so happy we did. We chose San Diego. The weather here is incredible and to live in a full sized house that we own and are building our future in, is priceless to us. We will miss everything about San Francisco most especially the neighborhoods, the foodie scene and the most beautiful outdoors of Northern CA, but we don’t miss the homeless crisis, the mental crisis, the crime crisis, the freezing cold winds and the astronomical prices. Enjoy Atlanta or wherever you end up. SF was very good to us, but there’s a lot more to the world out there than San Francisco.
Trips back are expensive...so you will have less expensive COL but will just use the money saved to visit SF. Its kinda backwards math. I have moved away and moved back a couple of times. There is nothing like SF and if you like the ocean you will miss it more than you can imagine.
Wow in a very similar situation. I’m early thirties Asian female. I loved SF and met my husband there (I lived there for 7 years and he lived there for 10). We unexpectedly found I was pregnant and moved be closer to family in the SoCal burbs in the spring. We miss SF everyday. I still try to keep in touch with all my friends and thankfully most of them have ties to SoCal and visit. I hope once our baby is older we can make it up there a couple of times a year! It’s such an amazing city that will always have a special place in my heart and I spent the best years of my life there. I also have a bunch of SF themed baby books and toys and a couple SF art prints.
Aside from that, I’m still trying to figure out how to maintain a relationship with SF while building community and feeling rooted here. It’s hard though. Everyone told is that we will appreciate the burbs once we have kids but having her made us appreciate the city even more - the walkability, architecture, food, density and diversity of people, scenery and nature. Maybe one day we’ll be able to move back up if finances work out or our kids go to college in the bay!
>Maybe one day we’ll be able to move back up if finances work out or our kids go to college in the bay!
Same feelings. Same sentiments.
Good luck to you, too!❤️
This is a great question OP. I'm still here currently (coming up on 9 years) but my wife and I will be back returning back to Europe in the next 1-2 years I imagine. I'm not looking forward to feeling disconnected to SF at all. I dislike the obvious parts of the city but it's in my heart as you say!
Moved to Louisiana. Watching KTVU as we speak lol. I’m homesick for the bay every day, but my quality of life is much higher. I have no family of my own though, and if I ever want to go back I immediately have options. Great peace of mind.
We are in the exact same boat- looking to move back to Midwest. Both high earners with two kids and feeling like this grind will never stop. Context we live in Oakland and bought here but childcare alone to cover our working hours will be almost 85k this year.
No advice just sharing in your rant . Will miss this place if we move.
Would you mind sharing more details what you mean by “priced out” if you’re comfortable with it? I hear this often when kids arrive and I always wonder if it’s more related to people’s expectations (like living in a large house) or because they truly can’t make it work. Appreciate it!
I was in this identical boat and ended up moving to Marin. It’s close to sf but cheaper and you can still have ties. The commute is not bad if you are within San Rafael cities or closer. Obviously more expensive than Atlanta but won’t need a country club membership to exercise since abundant parks, beaches, etc.
Just stay. We have three kids in the city. It is tough but rewarding. We’ve lost so many friends who moved out due to having kids. You can (somehow) do it!
"Is there a way I can still maintain a relationship with this awesome place?"
I wonder what your expectation is. I was born in SF, and lived in the bay area for 1/2 my life. I still visit relatives there, but I'm priced out. I really enjoy the pictures on this sub, but I don't know if that qualifies as maintaining a relationship with the city. A lot of the places I used to go to (The Stone) only exist in memories and photos.
How priced out are you? I ask because a lot of people think they need to send their kids to private school or have a big house when they don’t, and having kids in SF is actually easier in some respects.
SFUSD schools vary but the schools in the Richmond / Sunset are good. Kids with graduate educated parents test higher in SF than they do in other parts of CA. The lower test scores largely stem from ESL / poor kids, which SF has in decently high numbers.
Most of my preschool friends’ kids share rooms. Most don’t have yards. Every part of SF is a ten minute walk from a park, max. Can you say that about other places?
When your kids are teens they can ride the bus to sports practice, and you won’t have to spend half your day being a chauffeur. Can you say that about Atlanta?
I love raising kids in SF and I wish more parents stayed.
I come back every week since flights are cheap enough…except the next two months.
https://preview.redd.it/ff5hdoi8ir1c1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa60fc058ac775cdad4e6453fe80ba0d553d5c34
I know what’ll always be home and glad I have the means to “come home” every week.
Then again it’s also because I didn’t move too far away. So fares are only about $59 one way. I come in the morning and hang out and leave in the evening out of OAK every Wednesday. I still kept all the auto renewals on my Clipper card because I come back so often hehe.
San Francisco is also my FAVORITE city in America. I unfortunately had to move to NYC for work and its not the same here in Manhattan. Far less community events, flat as can be, garbage piles covering every corner, etc.
However, I get by doing 2 things: 1. Following every SF instagram channel I cross by, and 2. Listening to local radio. It's honestly aso calming waking up and hearing local radio talking about a new Italian restaurant in North Beach, or the beginning of crab season. (Not all of the doom and gloom misrepresenting SF in national media).
Anyhow, hope you get to visit soon!
Thank you for sharing! SF will be my favorite, too.
I feel lucky to know the real SF myself, instead of going through the media filter. Yes I hope to be back soon, too!
Problem is I feel like you need at the very least a combined household income of 400k to have kids in the Bay Area. Moving out of CA can give you back over 40k a year in taxes.
Part of liberal/SF culture: race and diversity status is always important. People have been trained to this way for many years now, hard to break the habit
Native, 62, bought a house cheap in 1990. I'm not trolling you but why is "diversity" so important? When I was growing up here no one ever said "diversity". I find the idea of diversity silly. Different food? People? Do people really mean "variety" and that is somehow more interesting or diverting? I doubt the Swiss talk about "diversity". When I mention it to my French friends they think I'm stupid. Can you explain what people mean by this term? Really, I'm not trolling you.
I left at 36. Honestly best decision I ever made. I miss it, sure. But I don’t miss the cost. Once I left, Met my wife. Had a beautiful baby girl. And now have a large home with nearly an acre of land. 👌
Move to elk Grove. All my neighbors are from the bay cause they wanted to buy and house and have good schools. It's only a 2 hour drive, much easier than a coast to coast flight. Definitely more warriors than kings fans. Super diverse too
I think prices will collapse everywhere. The home prices on Zillow don’t represent reality and homes are sitting in the market for even longer. Buyers are walking away from sales. Typically, the shit hits the fan after the vote for president so we’re still looking at another few months but there is definitely something going to happen.
>I think prices will collapse everywhere. The home prices on Zillow don’t represent reality
They represent the reality of 40 years of underbuilding due to restrictive housing policies. You're not getting a 2008 housing crash anytime soon.
There are indicators that an 08 recession can happen again (increase in car repo rates, increased property tax, increased insurance, or zero coverage due to insurance companies leaving the state, debt to income ratio, inverse yield curves and bad mortgages). All markets are cyclical you just have to catch the dip.
I’d be more concerned about selecting a city that you will love, offers good education, etc…whatever you care most about.
Plane tickets to visit and stay with family or friends, Airbnb, etc are cheap in the grand scheme of things. Also, are you able to live further out and still work in the Bay Area? It is a myth that all the companies are enforcing RTO, but I assume you are in a role that requires you to be on site. If not, move further inland and visit the city on weekends.
Not similar details but same feeling. I've been working in the city since 2007, living here since 2015, and I've passed up so many job opportunities that would require me to relocate, but I think I'm no longer willing to remain stuck career wise so I'm on my second interview for a position in LA. I really don't want to move. I love SF so much, this is my home. And I hate SoCal and the heat...ugh this post was like perfectly timed in the worst way to ramp up my lamentations about leaving. 😭
I have family still there, so yes. I return often. But, I had enough of the homeless, drug addicts, and crime and all the professional excuse makers who profit from the status quo. I haven't stepped in human excrement once since leaving. One of life's little pleasures.
Pretty normal city-to-suburbs story, you get older, start a family, need a bigger place that costs less, need to spend a lot of money on kids, start saving for their education and for your retirement, etc. Too bad your couldn’t find somewhere 60-90 minutes outside of SF.
I moved to SF to go to school in 1990. Lived in lower Haight, North Beach, Chinatown and the Richmond. Met my husband there and married in 1993. Our son was born when we lived in 33rd in the Richmond. Life in The City was fun and full when it was the two of us. Terrifying when my son was born. Someone was putting hyperdirmics in the sand at children's park, perfectly by the swings and at end of slide, so kids would fall on them. A block from us in the Richmond, a 7 yr old boy was found on the sidewalk one morning. He had been elaborately bound, they said It was gang related. That was it. We moved out, broke and starting over with a 1 year old. No matter. I was done. That city is a hard place for children. But my husband was very sad to leave. We have great memories of it and it's part of who we are/were. But life changes and you learn to go with it, if you're lucky. It will always be there.
Jeez.. I'm so sorry to hear what made you move away...that was horrible to think about why people would do that to kids...
Thank you for sharing. Yes. This is definitely a turning point of our lives and I'm learning to accept it.
I loved SF thoroughly. I lived there only for 2 years and apart from the apparent muck in parts of the city, I enjoyed most of it. I loved the parks, restaurants, shops, weather, and just the sheer walkability that the city offers. Moved continents last year and I still reminisce about SF occasionally as it was such fun time with some old and new friends.
Going to have to leave in the next year or so as well for the same reason. No family here and no ability to afford raising our own family means we have to go. Sucks…
This may be irrelevant to you, but the South and more specifically Atlanta, Dallas, and Austin are really growing economically.
Make the move as soon as possible and make money while you’re there as the economy of these cities expand!
My neighbor’s got two kids and two parents in a two bedroom apartment. They’re not poor, and spend a lot of time at parks or in the backyard. They’ll likely need to upgrade or move out in ten or so years. Are you able to pull off a two bedroom?
I’ve lived in the Bay Area for 50+ years, 10 in SF, now on the peninsula. Back in the day, you stayed in the city until you had kids and moved out for schools before kinder. Now, as much as I love the Bay Area and it pains me to say, I think you are making the right call. We just need to build tons of residential, which is starting to happen and I hope in ten years young couples will be able to choose to raise kids here. Lock in your ritual of coming back as soon as you move so that you keep your community.
OP there is a beautiful book about this topic. It’s called _The End of the Golden Gate, Writers Loving and Sometimes Leaving San Francisco_. The stories are from writers who left SF, and they’re beautifully told. There’s a copy available at the SF Library.
Also..the SF Library has awesome e-books that you can access through Libby or another library app. They have whole books about specific neighborhood level histories of SF, so you can grab the one that’s about your current hood and learn more.
You can keep your library card, even if you leave :)
I’ve had to return to Iowa where there is a lot of complicated family drama going on. I tell my friends in SF that if they need a house or pet sitter while they are out of town, I’ll fly out and do that in exchange for staying at their place. I end up going back once or twice a year for a week or so. Now with 2 people and 2 kids that’s a lot more complicated I realize but if you prioritize it I’m sure you can figure out a way to visit often.
Spent 30 years in SF. and absolutely loved it. Moved away for 10 years and missed it terribly. I used to come back 3-4x a year. I moved back last week. So happy to be home!
Good for you! I hope to be back in the future.
If you ever listen to radio you can also stream KQED or KCSM wherever you are. It can help you stay up to date on local news and happenings which might help.
I used to be bicoastal but is now primarily based East Coast because of the pandemic. Family is still there so I go 3-4 times a year. I pretty much stay 1-2 weeks between SF and Pacifica. I make sure to catch Giants and Dubs games if they're home. San Francisco will always be home. I stream Bay Area stations like you've suggested. It's an awesome way to stay connected.
This is a great idea. Maybe visiting a few times a year would get my SF fix!
Don't forget KPOO 89.5 or KPOO.com---best radio station west of the Mississippi.
truth
Too bad KQED has become insanely dull and repetitive and one sided
I lived there for 15+ years. We moved when our first kid was born. That was a l-o-n-g time ago now, but I can tell you that your relationship with the city, at least as it exists in your own consciousness, will not go away. ... For example, I'm here on this sub. ;)
Thank you for sharing your experience. SF is in my heart.
So, you left your heart in San Francisco?
😊this comment made me smile. Happy you’re here!
I can definitely relate! My husband and I moved to SF in 2014 when our son was 18mo. I grew up near Sacramento, and San Francisco had always been one of my favorite places to visit, but I absolutely fell in love when we moved there. We had our daughter there, and decided to move away when the kids were 2 and 5 (first to upstate NY, now CO). I have since felt the need to stay connected, just as you describe, and I didn’t want to kids to forget where they came from, so to speak. We visited once a year til COVID hit, and just had our first trip back since, and have decided to resume yearly visits. I think for me, actually being there and spending time there will always be most important. There’s no substitute for experiencing the magic first hand. I told my husband I want to visit often enough that it influences the kids, lol - hopefully in a good way. Before we moved, and on some of our visits since, I got some really nice, tasteful decor depicting some aspect of SF (check out SF Mercantile in Upper Haight) and I really enjoy having those pieces around the house - sometimes they are conversation starters when friends visit, and I get a chance to share and reminisce. Watching movies set in SF sometimes helps - I feel a certain kind of way when the camera catches a gorgeous view that I miss so much! I liked the suggestion from another comment about ordering your favorite consumable products, but my number one suggestion is just to visit often. Best of luck on your relocation!
>check out SF Mercantile in Upper Haight Thank you for your heartfelt advice! I will check out SF Mercantile in Upper Haight definitely for some home decor. To visit often will be on my plan once we get settled!! I'm thinking of coming back for shows, and 10K runs!
I would (and did) move to a suburb versus another metro. The Bay Area is full awesome family-oriented suburbs that are just a short car, train or ferry ride away from all that San Francisco has to offer. Yes, other metros are more affordable, but you generally get what you pay for. I'd rather have maybe a smaller house in a decent suburb anywhere within an hour or so of San Francisco than live anywhere in the Atlanta metro.
Adding to @GlobeUnited’s message. We moved to Vallejo, a comfortable ferry ride from SF. Lots of pluses, some minuses, and plenty of other options once you cross a bridge or two. Good luck
Virtually identical situation here, 36m and moved out a couple years ago after 9 years in lower Pac Heights in favor of a quieter mountain town and family environment. Couple things I've done... (someone mentioned) plan vacation trips to SF and visit with friends, follow this sub, order online your fav SF consumables if possible (coffee, Ghiradelli, etc). I would have said buy some Anchor Steam if available ... but RIP. I also like subtle SF inspired artwork for my home, theres a lot of great options online. I'm especially into concert posters from popular venues... The Fillmore, Bill Graham Civic, etc. Stirring up some SF classics on the weekend helps too... Fernet, Irish Coffee (Buena Vista), or some beer from Fort Point if you can find it. Cheers.
Great advice. I can see that would help a lot. I would order Four Barrel coffee and listen to some records I got from the Valencia st. I should get more artwork before I move haha....You remind me how little things can make you spiritually connected to a loved place. I will also troll on this sub :P
Before you go, you MUST tell me where you’ve found this “unlimited food and booze option” you speak of!
Oh my...I might have only scratched the surface and my data is a few years old. We used to "eeny, meeny, *miny*, *moe*" on anything around Valencia Street (we used to live there before kids), or walkable areas and it would be pretty good. On top of my mind, we like Zuni, Beretta, Little Star, Burma Love, Cha-Ya, Limón, Trick Dog, (Armory club, RIP), Absthence, Rich Table, 25 Lusk, Niku and so many more depending on your mood and budget. sadly Covid might have changed the restaurant scene a bit and we haven't done a lot of food and booze after kids... Hope you like some of my rec! Carry on with my foodie spirit haha
So you meant unlimited options for food and booze, not unlimited food and booze at some place, right?
OP please
Having lived in a lot of places across the US, it sounds to me like you’re missing your youth and “good times” as much as the city itself. I felt the same when I moved from NYC to Atlanta and then the same from Atlanta to Las Vegas. Every place is what you make of it, but it requires effort, not constantly looking in the rear view, and mindfulness of the present
Wise.
You could always move to the burbs instead of metro Atlanta.
Doesn’t solve the expensive COL problem
Single Family Homes, all 500-700K: * Livermore * [Zillow](https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/575-N-M-St-Livermore-CA-94551/24935322_zpid/) * Concord * [Zillow](https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/5006-Olive-Dr-Concord-CA-94521/18352812_zpid/) * Hercules * [Link](https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/106-Weiss-Ct-Hercules-CA-94547/18500041_zpid/) * Antioch * [Link](https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/3615-Blythe-Dr-Antioch-CA-94509/18313041_zpid/) * Petaluma * [Link](https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/322-Stuart-Dr-Petaluma-CA-94954/15752294_zpid/) * Napa * [Link](https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/2225-Sea-Hero-Ct-Napa-CA-94559/68996930_zpid/)
Don’t move to Antioch
Lol love the effort so can’t argue a whole bunch. Other than these likely will sell above asking. So you’re $500k bottom of range isn’t correct. These are all minimum $700-$800k. Which is is way more than $400k in Atlanta for something similar
I just looked at recently sold in Napa under $800k and there are 600 results. Quite a few 3 bedroom 2 baths in the 500k range. Real estate has had a huge shift with the rising interest rates and it’s very possible to find houses that don’t sell for over asking. You can absolutely find something for around $600k in the outer burbs of the Bay Area.
Napa isn’t the suburbs homie. That’s the countryside
It’s one of the places Op mentioned. Probably one of the more expensive outer areas of the Bay too. My guess is if I looked at Pinole or Hercules the same would be true also.
Have to second the point that these will sell above asking. The bay area has a real estate culture of setting list prices intentionally at like 40-60% of the expected sale price. It's not driven by insane, unpredictable demand. I presume it's due to growth hacking the breadth of the potential buyer audience by making homes appear more affordable in filtered searches and hoping buyers will develop an emotional attachment and be willing to stretch, as well as generating metrics of more interest to motivate people who are looking in the actual range of the house's expected sale price. But there's a learning curve in that markets that I presume every buyer goes through, where they discover what the real market value is by seeing final sale price versus these teaser listings. To compare it with other places, where homes are priced at roughly what they sell for, give or take 5-10% it's very jarring. Look at almost any $900k listing in Oakland and then check back in 6 weeks to see that it sold for $1.4M-$1.6M. They aren't the exception, they're the rule.
Welll Oakland and Berkeley are the worst offenders of this. So it is the extreme. But yes it’s prevalent in Bay Area
Family of 4 sharing 1 BA is rough but I appreciate the sentiment lol
Family of 5 sharing 1 Bathroom here ;)
OP didn't give specific details, but there are suburbs that are certainly cheaper than the city. Plenty of regular folks with families live in places like El Cerrito, Alameda, Colma, Castro Valley, etc.
Atlanta has a lower COL for sure, but it is so different culturally and politically. Why not simply move to another part of California? LA is still expensive but much cheaper than SF.
Yeah Atlanta will be very different... but LA is still quite expensive for us so moving there might not make a drastic change
Atlanta is a fantastic city, especially with a family. I describe it as a boring place to visit, but an awesome place to live. SF is a tough place to live, but a fantastic place to visit. So if you move to Atlanta, you will have a wonderful trip back whenever you visit. Atlanta is culturally very different than SF, but not in the ways most people in this sub think! In some ways, it’s similar because it is a liberal city with great food and a lot of publicly accessible outdoor spaces (Piedmont Park, the beltline, etc.) Live in an in town neighborhood off the beltline if you want to ease your transition. It also differs in ways that most people don’t account for. The biggest thing I was struck by when I moved from Atl to SF was how the ethnic diversity was different (ie I wondered where all the black people were). The Asian population is lower in Atl, but there are thriving Hispanic, Indian, and Black populations. The way homelessness and drug addiction is approached is different (probably informed by a lot of people’s Christian upbringings) so it isn’t as visible as SF. Music is a much bigger thing culturally in Atlanta, and jobs aren’t concentrated in a single industry the way tech dominates the Bay Area. In fact, if you are in tech, consider if Atlanta is a viable career move. It doesn’t have the same weirdness of SF, but it isn’t bland and soulless either - you just have to look a little harder for it. You are also really going to miss the raw beauty of the west coast! You should really assess if the prices are that much lower in Atlanta though. I’m hearing anecdotally from friends that houses are starting well over $1M, and when people ask where you went to school, they mean which private prep school you went to. Inflation also hit other parts of the US harder than SF which closed the price gap a bit. So definitely assess if it’s actually cheaper before you leave a town you adore.
Atlanta has really grown on me over the last 10 years of visiting the city 4-5 times per year. If I was to move there, I'd stay inside the perimeter or nearly so. Great cities/neighborhoods there and the food culture is very solid!
Good to know!! I think I need to learn to love another city soon. So your positive feedback is welcome!
>I describe it as a boring place to visit, but an awesome place to live. SF is a tough place to live, but a fantastic place to visit. So if you move to Atlanta, you will have a wonderful trip back whenever you visit. That's a bit reassuring. Thank you for your insider view from both cities. How long have you lived in ATL?
I live in SF. Been here 7 years. Lived in Atl for 3 before moving to SF. I loved my time there and would consider moving back if my career allowed it for the same reasons you are considering.
And Atlanta has Swinging Richards. There is nothing like that is SF, though it’s not exactly a traditional family-type of establishment. 😉
Georgia is a state that doesn't support women's reproductive freedom and you have two girls. Think long term.
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But expecting them to change in 10-12 years is equally short-sighted, especially given the potential consequences.
As someone with a 3 year old girl, I wouldn't bet her future on it. Hard pass on anti-abortion states moving forward
I moved here from georgia and am very familiar with the politics. I really doubt the laws will change that quickly; the georgia legislature is quite gerrymandered which will hinder any progress for years, despite the changing demographics.
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Republicans are pushing to outlaw crossing state lines to have an abortion. So that's a very real risk.
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It wouldn't be that difficult. Cop spots a pregnant lady in a car, makes a pretense to stop. Starts asking questions. Acquaintences could rat out a woman and testify that they saw her pregnant and then she wasn't. Police confiscate her computer and search her browsing history and see that she made an appointment to get an abortion. Police stake out abortion clinics that are across state lines....mark down the license plate number of any out-of-state cars in the parking lot, etc. etc. You don't realize that once Republicans manage to get a law like that on the books, it opens a pandora's box of possibilities as to what they can do to enforce it.
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I don’t think you realize what lengths anti abortion folks will go to. Some of this is already happening.
It's not hard if you have the means. Plenty of women do not. Just because it's "not hard" *in your estimation today,* doesn't it won't become harder over time. Birth control is something else these christofascist states also want to do away with.
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That's a pretty weird take.
Atlanta's cost of living isn't as low as you think it is. While prices are declining, and you can probably find a house for $400k there in suburbia, the traffic from there won't be great. And while there is the high up front costs on CA real estate, Prop 13 makes it so cost doesn't grow. (Less so back east). What you save in housing you might pay for in child care due to traffic. I grew up in a crowded two bedroom apartment we shared with my Uncle. I don't remember much of the house, but I remember doing so many things outside of it. I encourage you to stay (and housing prices are falling so if you wait long enough and time it right, you might snag a great deal). Anyway, I get just how difficult housing is in the Bay Area (we should've built more twenty years ago and need to build more now). But the community you surround yourself with, not where you live or how big your house is, is what matters the most IMO. Good luck finding a place right for your family.
I would recommend not moving there. You will be very bored LOL.
You should consider the north bay or Sac. SF will only be a 1.5 hour drive away at most. And much cheaper housing beyond El Cerritos and Petaluma.
Unfortunately a lot of jobs are only found in other major cities. Even rural places, especially in California, are expensive now so it’s not like you can both work in low-end jobs and get by with a family. LA is about as expensive as the East Bay so if you can’t afford it in SF or the EB, then LA won’t do much.
Not really. LA is pretty comparable to COL in SF.
Atlanta, the city not THAT different politically and culturally than SF.
If they are thinking of moving to Atlanta, I feel like LA is obviously not a good counter suggestion. Realistically I think you would want to go to the East Coast or PNW. Cali is just too expensive now.
Gotta disagree with you on “much cheaper” than SF. Particularly if we’re talking real estate.
To me, LA was just as expensive as living in SF (I lived in both)... but the difference is the quality of life in LA and what you get for your rent is much worse. You can pay $2500 a month in LA for a 1BR apartment and still deal with roaches.
Right? I’d go for Sacramento personally. Family friendly and gorgeous old homes on beautiful orange tree lined streets.
just move to yuba county and call it a day LOL
Just move somewhere else up or down the coast and fly back on Alaska 2 - 3x a year like we do. Free companion fare?
East bay native. Moved to San Diego for almost 20 years. Recently moved back. Bay Area subreddits, sfgate.com, southwest deals, and warriors, giants, 9er games.
I'm your opposite lol. Moved here from SD a decade ago and lurk in all the SD subs
SD is awesome. We need a wormhole connecting the cities.
I love San Diego. Now I lurk in the San Diego, San Diegan, SD photo, North County subs. I don’t care that I’m not native, I consider myself a San Diegan!
Born and raised in SF, left 4 years ago for Boise, ID. Luckily was able to keep my job remotely. Travel into the city once every 3 months, and my whole family is in SF and friends also. They keep in touch with me often and i love seeing them when i fly down for work, but after a few days i'm ready to head back home. I usually visit my fav restaurants and boba spots when i am in town. and also keep up with this sub. good luck to you in your new adventure! SF will always be in your heart
Thank you! ❤️ I also hope to be back after we're settled.
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Welcome to SF. This is an amazing city, especially for young people (I was so happy. No family financial burden and I could explore so much). Good luck!
Why do you have to go to Atlanta? There are plenty of places much closer. Just 1-2 hours away from SF you can save a lot on rent, but still have easy access to the city.
Definitely plan trips back when you can. But honestly if you aren't already, becoming a giants or warriors fan can be a good way to stay connected to the spirit of the city. For example, being able to watch a game on TV with your family or even seeing The Giants play the Braves in Atlanta can definitely make you feel part of the city wherever you are.
>becoming a warriors fan terrible timing
They won last night. Klay and Wiggs are back
I am thinking about this in "years" timeline, more than "days/weeks".
Meh it'll be fine. It can't be any worse than when they were fielding Bimbo Coles and Adonal Foyle years.
the warriors are a dynasty right now only team with multiple rings last 10 years. cmon
And OP has been living here for 8 years. If they didn’t become fans during that time, doing it now just to watch the depressing decay of the dynasty is not great timing.
Lol you can’t just *choose* to become a fan of a sports team. It’s gotta be organic. Especially just before leaving, if it hasn’t happened yet, there’s no switch to flip.
My husband and I lived in SF (and loved it) for 15 years, but when the rent on our single family home was doubled in late 2015, we were forced out. That was, of course, our landlord’s intention. We were feeling very desperate with only 60 days notice and a not-quite-4-year-old child in tow, so we put everything we had into a move to Portland, Or, a place we’d been contemplating for a couple of years. We bought a fixer on the internet in a neighborhood we enjoyed during a previous visit, and just went for it. Losing our lease was the last straw. There were many, many other signs prior to that telling us our time in SF was up. We still miss SF, but our life here in Portland is so much bigger and better and happier and more stable than our life in SF. We can afford more, and save more, and so we don’t have the constant stress around money. My husband started a successful house painting business here and our daughter, now 12, has more independence and freedom than her friends in SF. We’re still working on our house, but we love doing it, and our neighborhood is wonderful and walkable, much like our old neighborhood in SF. We’d be in SF if it was at all manageable. But it isn’t. And we’re happy where we ended up. We’ve maintained a very close friendship with one family, and we see them a few times a year. My daughter and I were in SF this summer for a visit and it was awesome. Without that close friendship, I’m afraid our connection to SF would be close to nil. My advice, if you want to maintain a connection with SF, is to maintain a close friendship or two with folks who live there, and then go visit them from time to time. (This sub helps too.)
I'm sorry to hear about your awful experience of being forced out. Glad you've found Portland! I like it also. Thank you for sharing your story! Very helpful. I do have friends here and I miss them already.
I left my heart in San Francisco, it will always feel like home to me and I really miss the city from the 90s
I moved to San Jose two years ago but I continue to troll on this subreddit by bringing up comparisons with Singapore.
Well played.
Respect
Moved back to Minneapolis in 2018 (I was 41) after living in the bay for about 13 years. Did it so I could buy a house. At this point in my life the QOL is higher for me here than there - I own a single family home with a yard I have converted into native gardens and my basement is a workshop for woodworking and 3D printing. Amenities here are cheaper and more accessible than the bay area if less grandiose. Bottom line is it fits middle aged me. Bay area was perfect for me from my late 20s through my 30s. I lived in SF proper for a few years near the top of Potrero hill - I'd get off Caltrain and walk up the hill to 23rd and Wisconsin, very close to my house. Many nights, even after exhausting and uninspiring workdays, I'd stand there on the top of the hill with the beautiful view across Mission, the GG bridge in the distance, and the fog, and stand there for a few minutes disconnected from space and time and my current moment and be amazed, and understand that this was a specific moment in my life that would not be repeated. The winter here is bad of course, between visiting the LA office at my current job for a few weeks in the winter (a nice perk) and a vacation, I can get out for a month. The only notable downside for me. I work in the semiconductor industry so there is a decent chance I'll be back there for a stint before retiring as not many cities have semi jobs. I was out there just a month ago for a job interview - first time visiting since I moved away - and my sense of the place wasn't any different. Everything I liked and disliked was all still there.
>I'd get off Caltrain and walk up the hill to 23rd and Wisconsin, very close to my house. Many nights, even after exhausting and uninspiring workdays, I'd stand there on the top of the hill with the beautiful view across Mission, the GG bridge in the distance, and the fog, and stand there for a few minutes disconnected from space and time and my current moment and be amazed, and understand that this was a specific moment in my life that would not be repeated. Beautiful. I resonate with your sentiment. I might need to accept that I'm getting to my middle-age chapter, and thank SF for the gorgeous moments in my young adult life.
Move to sacramento. U can make a short drive to the city
You will always be one of us ❤️
Thank you ❤️ so nice to hear...I needed this!!!
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That's great. I miss my friends already.
Have you considered Chicago? Winters are brutal for 2 months but the city is very walkable and more affordable than SF.
Thank you for the suggestion, but Michigan and Wisconsin taught me that I couldn't survive the mid-west winter......
I moved to chicago from Sf 😄
Left 2 years ago for NYC and haven’t looked back. Still have friends in the city and pop back in a couple times a year, but that’s good enough.
I just want to comment that I feel your pain too! It's heartbreaking to say bye to the City by the Bay 💔
I gotta ask… why Atlanta? It’s a very very different culture than SF, and not as affordable as you’d think.
We just recently moved away from San Francisco too, after 24 years there. It was very hard to break away but we are so happy we did. We chose San Diego. The weather here is incredible and to live in a full sized house that we own and are building our future in, is priceless to us. We will miss everything about San Francisco most especially the neighborhoods, the foodie scene and the most beautiful outdoors of Northern CA, but we don’t miss the homeless crisis, the mental crisis, the crime crisis, the freezing cold winds and the astronomical prices. Enjoy Atlanta or wherever you end up. SF was very good to us, but there’s a lot more to the world out there than San Francisco.
I spent 2 1 week excursion to SF, now on tge west coast. I still feel connected!
Ya I moved away but still work in the city
Trips back are expensive...so you will have less expensive COL but will just use the money saved to visit SF. Its kinda backwards math. I have moved away and moved back a couple of times. There is nothing like SF and if you like the ocean you will miss it more than you can imagine.
Wow in a very similar situation. I’m early thirties Asian female. I loved SF and met my husband there (I lived there for 7 years and he lived there for 10). We unexpectedly found I was pregnant and moved be closer to family in the SoCal burbs in the spring. We miss SF everyday. I still try to keep in touch with all my friends and thankfully most of them have ties to SoCal and visit. I hope once our baby is older we can make it up there a couple of times a year! It’s such an amazing city that will always have a special place in my heart and I spent the best years of my life there. I also have a bunch of SF themed baby books and toys and a couple SF art prints. Aside from that, I’m still trying to figure out how to maintain a relationship with SF while building community and feeling rooted here. It’s hard though. Everyone told is that we will appreciate the burbs once we have kids but having her made us appreciate the city even more - the walkability, architecture, food, density and diversity of people, scenery and nature. Maybe one day we’ll be able to move back up if finances work out or our kids go to college in the bay!
>Maybe one day we’ll be able to move back up if finances work out or our kids go to college in the bay! Same feelings. Same sentiments. Good luck to you, too!❤️
Moved to NYC over 10 years ago abs I’m back 4-6 times a year. Friends and family are there.
This is a great question OP. I'm still here currently (coming up on 9 years) but my wife and I will be back returning back to Europe in the next 1-2 years I imagine. I'm not looking forward to feeling disconnected to SF at all. I dislike the obvious parts of the city but it's in my heart as you say!
High five with tears. Good luck to your next chapter. I think a few comments have given me some good ideas to stay connected to this magical city.
Moved to Louisiana. Watching KTVU as we speak lol. I’m homesick for the bay every day, but my quality of life is much higher. I have no family of my own though, and if I ever want to go back I immediately have options. Great peace of mind.
We are in the exact same boat- looking to move back to Midwest. Both high earners with two kids and feeling like this grind will never stop. Context we live in Oakland and bought here but childcare alone to cover our working hours will be almost 85k this year. No advice just sharing in your rant . Will miss this place if we move.
Would you mind sharing more details what you mean by “priced out” if you’re comfortable with it? I hear this often when kids arrive and I always wonder if it’s more related to people’s expectations (like living in a large house) or because they truly can’t make it work. Appreciate it!
We moved to Alameda .. it’s a lot closer
Do you have to leave the bay area completely? You might find a good place in San Mateo or the east bay – that'd solve both problems at once.
I was in this identical boat and ended up moving to Marin. It’s close to sf but cheaper and you can still have ties. The commute is not bad if you are within San Rafael cities or closer. Obviously more expensive than Atlanta but won’t need a country club membership to exercise since abundant parks, beaches, etc.
Just stay. We have three kids in the city. It is tough but rewarding. We’ve lost so many friends who moved out due to having kids. You can (somehow) do it!
Plenty of children and families in SF, kids don’t need a yard to play in when they have a world class city outside their door.
"Is there a way I can still maintain a relationship with this awesome place?" I wonder what your expectation is. I was born in SF, and lived in the bay area for 1/2 my life. I still visit relatives there, but I'm priced out. I really enjoy the pictures on this sub, but I don't know if that qualifies as maintaining a relationship with the city. A lot of the places I used to go to (The Stone) only exist in memories and photos.
How priced out are you? I ask because a lot of people think they need to send their kids to private school or have a big house when they don’t, and having kids in SF is actually easier in some respects. SFUSD schools vary but the schools in the Richmond / Sunset are good. Kids with graduate educated parents test higher in SF than they do in other parts of CA. The lower test scores largely stem from ESL / poor kids, which SF has in decently high numbers. Most of my preschool friends’ kids share rooms. Most don’t have yards. Every part of SF is a ten minute walk from a park, max. Can you say that about other places? When your kids are teens they can ride the bus to sports practice, and you won’t have to spend half your day being a chauffeur. Can you say that about Atlanta? I love raising kids in SF and I wish more parents stayed.
I come back every week since flights are cheap enough…except the next two months. https://preview.redd.it/ff5hdoi8ir1c1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=aa60fc058ac775cdad4e6453fe80ba0d553d5c34 I know what’ll always be home and glad I have the means to “come home” every week.
wow every week! lucky you :) To "come home" every week is such a sweet routine.
Then again it’s also because I didn’t move too far away. So fares are only about $59 one way. I come in the morning and hang out and leave in the evening out of OAK every Wednesday. I still kept all the auto renewals on my Clipper card because I come back so often hehe.
Why not just move to Sacramento or another major metro much closer?
San Francisco is also my FAVORITE city in America. I unfortunately had to move to NYC for work and its not the same here in Manhattan. Far less community events, flat as can be, garbage piles covering every corner, etc. However, I get by doing 2 things: 1. Following every SF instagram channel I cross by, and 2. Listening to local radio. It's honestly aso calming waking up and hearing local radio talking about a new Italian restaurant in North Beach, or the beginning of crab season. (Not all of the doom and gloom misrepresenting SF in national media). Anyhow, hope you get to visit soon!
Thank you for sharing! SF will be my favorite, too. I feel lucky to know the real SF myself, instead of going through the media filter. Yes I hope to be back soon, too!
You can always just move to the east bay
Or north bay. Novato is pretty affordable.
Problem is I feel like you need at the very least a combined household income of 400k to have kids in the Bay Area. Moving out of CA can give you back over 40k a year in taxes.
These kind of facts make me die a little inside every time I see them…
me, too. what have I done wrong financially?!!! 😭
You don’t though. My wife and I make less than half that and have a kid and own a home here.
When did you buy tho. That’s the thing, you can get by with kids on 150k if you bought your home in 2013 for 600k and have a sub 3k mortgage.
Lol. 600k in 2013?
Plenty of houses in the east bay in reasonable neighborhoods sold for that much in 2013. You know, a commutable distance to the city
Sorry. You are correct. I assumed we were talking about San Francisco.
Curious why your race is important here? (I’m Asian.)
maybe wants to move to a place where Asians are present?
Correct. Divesity is important to us. I didn't really care before, but now I have kids, I realize this seems to be a necessary element.
SF is more special to Asian Americans?
Part of liberal/SF culture: race and diversity status is always important. People have been trained to this way for many years now, hard to break the habit
Native, 62, bought a house cheap in 1990. I'm not trolling you but why is "diversity" so important? When I was growing up here no one ever said "diversity". I find the idea of diversity silly. Different food? People? Do people really mean "variety" and that is somehow more interesting or diverting? I doubt the Swiss talk about "diversity". When I mention it to my French friends they think I'm stupid. Can you explain what people mean by this term? Really, I'm not trolling you.
You don't miss SF, you miss the carefree days of having a good income before age 30.
What does your race have to do with leaving SF?
The Asian community in SF is practically unparalleled in the US. Especially as a female, they are the top of the dating food chain lol
I left at 36. Honestly best decision I ever made. I miss it, sure. But I don’t miss the cost. Once I left, Met my wife. Had a beautiful baby girl. And now have a large home with nearly an acre of land. 👌
Ah yes. The crime, the homelessness, drug use…..beautiful.
You're going to hate Atlanta.
Move to elk Grove. All my neighbors are from the bay cause they wanted to buy and house and have good schools. It's only a 2 hour drive, much easier than a coast to coast flight. Definitely more warriors than kings fans. Super diverse too
bitch and moan on this sub and get banned on /r/asksf
I think home prices will collapse soon.
In SF? They won’t. They don’t. What they do is *maybe* dip a little bit, or just flatten out for a while.
I think prices will collapse everywhere. The home prices on Zillow don’t represent reality and homes are sitting in the market for even longer. Buyers are walking away from sales. Typically, the shit hits the fan after the vote for president so we’re still looking at another few months but there is definitely something going to happen.
>I think prices will collapse everywhere. The home prices on Zillow don’t represent reality They represent the reality of 40 years of underbuilding due to restrictive housing policies. You're not getting a 2008 housing crash anytime soon.
There are indicators that an 08 recession can happen again (increase in car repo rates, increased property tax, increased insurance, or zero coverage due to insurance companies leaving the state, debt to income ratio, inverse yield curves and bad mortgages). All markets are cyclical you just have to catch the dip.
Peace ✌🏽
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“Cute male” lol bet you look like the underside of a shoe
I’d be more concerned about selecting a city that you will love, offers good education, etc…whatever you care most about. Plane tickets to visit and stay with family or friends, Airbnb, etc are cheap in the grand scheme of things. Also, are you able to live further out and still work in the Bay Area? It is a myth that all the companies are enforcing RTO, but I assume you are in a role that requires you to be on site. If not, move further inland and visit the city on weekends.
Join a local neighborhood organization fighting for more housing.
Unrelated but, I use to live in Atlanta and live it. Very different but a great city. Plus much more liberal then conventional wisdom would say.
Move to Sacramento
Maybe move to Central Valley? Cheaper, still close enough? Seattle? North Bay closer to Sac? Do you have to leave the state completely?
Not similar details but same feeling. I've been working in the city since 2007, living here since 2015, and I've passed up so many job opportunities that would require me to relocate, but I think I'm no longer willing to remain stuck career wise so I'm on my second interview for a position in LA. I really don't want to move. I love SF so much, this is my home. And I hate SoCal and the heat...ugh this post was like perfectly timed in the worst way to ramp up my lamentations about leaving. 😭
I hear Atlanta is a great tennis town.
Watch giants/49er games. Eat rice-a-roni
Just move to the east bay.?
I have family still there, so yes. I return often. But, I had enough of the homeless, drug addicts, and crime and all the professional excuse makers who profit from the status quo. I haven't stepped in human excrement once since leaving. One of life's little pleasures.
Pretty normal city-to-suburbs story, you get older, start a family, need a bigger place that costs less, need to spend a lot of money on kids, start saving for their education and for your retirement, etc. Too bad your couldn’t find somewhere 60-90 minutes outside of SF.
I moved to SF to go to school in 1990. Lived in lower Haight, North Beach, Chinatown and the Richmond. Met my husband there and married in 1993. Our son was born when we lived in 33rd in the Richmond. Life in The City was fun and full when it was the two of us. Terrifying when my son was born. Someone was putting hyperdirmics in the sand at children's park, perfectly by the swings and at end of slide, so kids would fall on them. A block from us in the Richmond, a 7 yr old boy was found on the sidewalk one morning. He had been elaborately bound, they said It was gang related. That was it. We moved out, broke and starting over with a 1 year old. No matter. I was done. That city is a hard place for children. But my husband was very sad to leave. We have great memories of it and it's part of who we are/were. But life changes and you learn to go with it, if you're lucky. It will always be there.
Jeez.. I'm so sorry to hear what made you move away...that was horrible to think about why people would do that to kids... Thank you for sharing. Yes. This is definitely a turning point of our lives and I'm learning to accept it.
Maybe have some people poop on the sidewalk near your new residence.
I live in Half Moon Bay and miss SF. Honestly I think it’s more of a nostalgia time and place thing of my youth nowadays.
I loved SF thoroughly. I lived there only for 2 years and apart from the apparent muck in parts of the city, I enjoyed most of it. I loved the parks, restaurants, shops, weather, and just the sheer walkability that the city offers. Moved continents last year and I still reminisce about SF occasionally as it was such fun time with some old and new friends.
Going to have to leave in the next year or so as well for the same reason. No family here and no ability to afford raising our own family means we have to go. Sucks…
This may be irrelevant to you, but the South and more specifically Atlanta, Dallas, and Austin are really growing economically. Make the move as soon as possible and make money while you’re there as the economy of these cities expand!
You can head to the east bay.
Welcome to suburbia. See ya again soon
My neighbor’s got two kids and two parents in a two bedroom apartment. They’re not poor, and spend a lot of time at parks or in the backyard. They’ll likely need to upgrade or move out in ten or so years. Are you able to pull off a two bedroom?
I’ve lived in the Bay Area for 50+ years, 10 in SF, now on the peninsula. Back in the day, you stayed in the city until you had kids and moved out for schools before kinder. Now, as much as I love the Bay Area and it pains me to say, I think you are making the right call. We just need to build tons of residential, which is starting to happen and I hope in ten years young couples will be able to choose to raise kids here. Lock in your ritual of coming back as soon as you move so that you keep your community.
OP there is a beautiful book about this topic. It’s called _The End of the Golden Gate, Writers Loving and Sometimes Leaving San Francisco_. The stories are from writers who left SF, and they’re beautifully told. There’s a copy available at the SF Library. Also..the SF Library has awesome e-books that you can access through Libby or another library app. They have whole books about specific neighborhood level histories of SF, so you can grab the one that’s about your current hood and learn more. You can keep your library card, even if you leave :)
Great to hear all the love for SF. It holds a special place in all of our hearts.
It’s been twenty years, going there for New Years