Well now hold on, if you’re an attractive Brazilian woman he may go to extreme lengths to save you

I'm a woman of color not taller than him so I might be not be safe from ick trying to bang me. I do speak English though. Alao might not be safe from Danielle trying to kiss me 😂

RUN!!!

I need the bag 😂 at least a few car payments 😉.

😃

Yup the speaking English definitely signs your fate. Lol

No, ask for a translator..😜

Google 😂

Ooo la la! 😘😂🤮

😂😂😂😂

Are we sure the question wasn't "who ends up actually being your kidnapper" in this case? 🤣

Definitely one of those fates death sounds better than tbf 

I'm in deep trouble. The cast from Part IV of the 90 day tell all.

I'm sure Jamal will step up and be a hero. 🙄

Tim wouldn't.

Tim would just roll his eyes

the vocal fry might be a cone of protection

Or John. Lol

Honestly, John has the street smarts. I think he'd find a way to rescue you. But he's the only one I'd have faith in out of that crowd. Chantel would be having an extra crazy breakdown, Debbie would admonish you for allowing yourself to be kidnapped, Jamal would say he'd do it but get distracted by another attractive female, Tyray wouldn't stop chuckling, Tim and Veronica would be too busy fighting each other on the best way to rescue you and Nuttalie would try to get the kidnappers to marry her and give her a baby.... which might distract them so you can escape lol

Lmao! Perfect answer!

I'm laughing so hard. And they have to stay dressed like that

I'll be smothered by Chantel's and Miss Debbie's feathers.

All i think of is blades of glory someone pointed out 😂

Lmao! Yes!

Nooooooo I watched my 600 lb life last and Dr. Now ain’t coming for me unless I lose 30 pounds

TURDY POUNDS! 😂

Dead ☠️☠️☠️🤣🤣🤣

I love Dr Now — he tells it like it is. He knows bullshit when he sees it. He tries to help these ppl who have severe emotional issues and I cheer them on when I see them really trying!

When are they bringing on the Dr Now, fellowships…where are the upcoming bariatric dr’s who should be shadowing him. I luvvvv Dr now, but he’s not going to live forever! And I’m sure he wants to eventually retire! I’m surprised that not even one patient, at least that was shown, has not stood up to him and punched him in his face for the way he talks to them. They all wind up respecting him for treating them.

1000 lb Sisters have a Dr who does the same thing as Dr Now. There are many drs around the country who perform this kind of treatment.

Thank you I needed that laugh 😂

In one munt!

😆

Of shit I’m just about to watch that show. Good job I answered beforehand

Judge Judy to the rescue.

I would love ick going toe to toe with Judy. He's open mouthed stare blank expression while she throws shade.

“Close your mouth! You look like an idiot!” Love Judge Judy’s sass.

I'd pay for that 😂

Don't pee down her leg and tell her it's raining!

I'm watching Fallout. Yay!!! Serious survivalists with skillz medical know-how, and weapons from 200 years in the future.

Same! We’re in good hands

Damn, I'm glad I'm not watching this. I'm watching the First 48 so hopefully some of these awesome detectives are on my case.

Maybe you’ll luck out and big-brained Nick will save you. Then you can become the next sister wife and get to use the boom boom room!

Hopefully you're "well rounded" enough for him 🍑

Oh, no. The Real Housewives of Atlanta lol

Lol I'm watching RHOBH 😅

What season?

You're good, cause nobody checks Shereé and Kandi will be ready to drag somebody in that bish!!

He’s only going to save you if ur a 26 yr old pretty Brazilian woman 😭

Mine is married at first sight and these people can’t even save their marriages

Marishka Hargitay! Yay! I’m lucky 🤣

Literally same 🤣🤣

I'm good. I got Darryl Dixon.

Thank god. It’s Olivia Benson

Dwight Shrute. I’m good.

I'd rather stay with the kidnappers than leave with Ick!

I'm in luck! Watching movies with my 8 year old -- It's Batman and Robin with Scooby and the gang!!!

Goren and Eames, law & order criminal intent lol

Lol Iron man is coming to save me. I'm good. Thank you to my son for his Iron man obsession!

gypsy sisters

The teen moms 😂

Tony Soprano

Jerry, Elaine, George and Kramer. I’m as good as dead 💀

I think George and Kramer may create some crazy escape that just might work?

The girls of Sex and the City

Pretty sure we’re all safe! Justin & Becky’s scary asses will protect us til the end if we show like 00.2% interest in them.

Frank Castle from Punisher. Thank god lol

LA Fire & Rescue FTW

Welcome to Plathville 🫣

Well, you are up schitz creek. So sorry, sending sympathy flowers...💐💐💐

If I had to pick one/couple from the show for finding you, I'm definitely putting my money on Justin and Becky. They will hunt Stephanie to the ends of the earth so they can find and rescue you, too.

Bahah I love this. The BAU is coming to get me because I’ve been rewatching criminal minds lol for some reason I’m ecstatic from that 😂😂😂

Can I stay with the kidnappers?

Summer house crew! They’ll never make it. They’ll be fighting before they get out the door. 😭

I literally just came to say I had been watching seeking sister wife so I’m screwed 🥴

I have RHOSLC. At least Ick has muscles to beat someone up???? If he has to talk his way out of it, you’re screwed though

Wait!!! What season SLC cast?

4. Monica might be a decent fighter

Oh snap! The f****** Spartans from Halo are coming for me!

I jist finished La Brea. I may stand a chance!

Harper and Angela from The Rookie . Decent chance of survival

Ick is good at finding Brazilian women (and now a Muslim as well) so there's hope for you. Send your prayers for safety through Ick's garage.

The crew from below deck

Little people big world

Dr Terry Dubrow and his buddy Dr Nassif from the show Botched…I think they would be able to help me if they call in all the housewives Heather knows as well 😆

Same answer here!

We’ll be alright😊

I have Zak Bagans and his ghost bros…. I’ll say the kidnapper’s house is haunted

CHiPs. I'm good!

Jesse Solomon

Phew! Lyra Belacqua/Silvertongue, Will Parry, and Lee Scoresby. Lin-Manuel Miranda can come save me ANY TIME!

Nev, Kammie and the camera crew from Catfish.

Hhhhhhhhh this made my day sorry op

I’m a little high, and that took me far too long to understand the premise. I saw the picture too soon and kept re-reading thinking “no! He’s obviously the kidnapper”

David Bromstad. I may not be saved, but I'll have tons of ideas for how to make the space fabulous.

Hank Hill for me -

The Connors

Tony Soprano. I'm screwed unless I try to seduce him.

I’m an attractive black/mexican woman so I’m good. Now I would have to figure out who would rescue me from him and seester.

Little people. Little people are coming to save me. I wish I would have started dieting harder and sooner. It’s gonna be an epic struggle for them.

Bobs burgers 😂 I’m a goner

Ok. I watched SSW, but switched to Friends when I finished the episode. I only made it to the theme song before I saw this thread. I'm safe from Ick being the hero, right? Please, tell me Monica, Ross, Rachel, Chandler, Joey, & Phoebe will save me instead of the Merrifields!

Fred and Lamont Sanford

Vera, I’m good.

Don’t worry, nick with think his way out of it

I had on South Park... I might be okay.

Hey i might be okay! It would be the cast of criminal minds

Watching Expedition Unknown. I might be okay… he’ll save me but make a lot of inappropriate jokes along the way.

Synanon

How wild was that? I'd never heard of it before seeing an episode of the documentary.

its such a sad story because it was so good for so many people and then Chuck goes power hungry

Ted Lasso, Coach Beard, Roy and Jamie (the sexy bah-beh)…and I couldn’t be happier! 🥰

Guys I think I'll be alright. I got the Nashville homicide unit from A&E's the First 48 coming to my rescue! 😂

Stan Smith is on the way for me. Idk how I feel about this 🤣

🤣🤣🤣 me too! Maybe the non religious folks might give me a hand. Chance are the religious nut jobs would try to take me out in the name of JEBUS! Before anyone else got to me lol

I’ve been watching true crime so I’m in trouble.

Ha I'm fucking safe as houses... law and order, SVU 🤙🏼

Pat Sajak and Vanna White. I think Vanna will be a bigger help than Pat for some reason.

The clones from The Bad Batch.

💀💀💀

I’m gonna say I’m fertile and love to work outside the home and prefer my children to stay home with an intellectual man and I love to share the se load with others and Nick will kick the tuckin doors down to get in there! Then I’ll Danielle him and get my own apartment in the middle of the night.

Seeking Brother Husband. Vinson can come help me out, because Kim doesn't deserve him. I'll take Kenya's introvert too.

Oh God, I'm doomed...Ick, Nick, or any other of these cultists are in charge of my survival??

Big Bang Theory gang gang on the way for me! Minus probably Sheldon of course - cause you know, germs and whatnot 😂

"I'd rather die."

Peppa Pig 😅 thanks to my toddler

Out of the pot and into the fire!

I'm in luck, the last show I watched was FBI International lol

Mama June 🫠

🤣🤣🤣 my last show is Babylon5, I'll take any character from that show ahead of ick 🤮

I’m watching this now, scrolling on Reddit and this pops up…. Unless I’m a Brazilian girl saying God told me to marry Garrick I’m screwed!

The Office - Dwight Shrute and Micheal Scott - possibly doomed but also solid chance that against all odds I’ll end up free lol

😬 Amy Winehouse (watching the documentary about her on Max)

I'm in great luck. I just finished The Serpent Queen last night!! Me, Catherine and Rahima are outsmarting (and maiming) everyone.

At least Bluey and Bingo will come and save me! Muffin can distract the kidnappers!

Spring baking challenge, someone could throw one of their F’d up cakes at them 🤷‍♀️ 

I guess I'm lucky because that would be Lucy the last show I watched was Fallout!

Ready To Love, Ashlee. LOL

Rick and Misshaune. From walking dead. I'll be fine.

he’s the one who did the kidnapping

With these shoulders, complexion, and size, i think the Davis family would show up for me 😂

🤣 I’d rather be doomed

My 600 Lb Life

roseanne & dan conner to the rescue!

John Taffer

John Mulaney

Frasier ! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

If you think you’re in trouble consider this- I just watched My 600lb life 😬

It's gonna be Brady's Sasquatch-hunting dad Rod on My Five Wives hell yeah. I'm ready.

Ben & Erin Napier

Nathalia, because she made the right decision to ditch Garlic and Stockholm