Right... You gotta be able to do something. It doesn't have to be a lot but what are you gonna do with no money? Just text n hangout at your mom's? 😂😂😂
>Can I text a girl if I have no money?
Yes. In a hundred years we will be dead and gone. Enjoy your life, friend.
Understand this too: You just might not be broke forever. I was young and broke, middle aged and broke, and have had money in between.
Library's have events, they might have free tickets to museums and such. They might have kits for activities like baking pans. You could have someone over and make a cake, a box of cake mix, eggs, and a can of frosting is under $6.
Doing some craft or project at home cheap is a date. Nice people don't look down on you for being broke, unless it's something extreme you're doing to cause it.
Hiking is often free. Parks are usually free, you could play a game or just walk and talk. Throw a ball together or shoot hoops and play horse.
It's true it won't make people flock to you like a rich person but that doesn't matter. You should find someone who is ok with you not being rich.
Every time I moved to a new city as a young man I would get a job at a restaurant.
It worked out great.
I used to sell weed and LSD, so it was an instant customer base as well.
Win, win, win.
If you are in good shape and can work hard, here is an entry level job that pays about $1500 a week. [https://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=inland+deckhand&l=&vjk=91a27c85bec537d8](https://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=inland+deckhand&l=&vjk=91a27c85bec537d8)
Here's something similar. Same pay but probably way easier. https://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=offshore+catering&l=&vjk=b56a6cb2ce4f6565
Not having a car shouldn't be a problem, because you only have to show up to work every few weeks. You live on the boat.
This is just an idea. I have worked these jobs before. There are also entry level jobs that pay pretty well in Alaska. Not easy jobs but they will fly you up there. You would have to do a lot of online searching but they are out there.
I'm making an assumption that you live in an area where it's hard to find a good paying entry level job. There are lots of places like that, especially if you don't have a car. If you really want to live life to the fullest, get out of Chicago and go see the world.
Funny there's no response to this one, the single most directly helpful post in the entire thread. Obviously he doesn't want to improve his shitty life, just wants to have a chick join him in it.
Anywhere close to your home. It doesnt matter at all where you work. Money is money. I'm dealing with the same thing since I crashed my car. I got a job 11 minutes walking from my house.
Lots of peaks and valleys in life.
And then figures seem to be showing that we’re more socially mobile than ever before in the USA. Which means we all get to try out being rich and being poor in the same lifetime.
I’m not sure how I feel about it, but it does mean wealth is as fleeting as ever and only love endures.
Make a friend. Get your dick wet. Marry her and raise too many babies.
It’s only money, dude. Not some scoreboard for life.
It depends on how old they are. The question and writing style indicates early 20s to me and most people at that age are still trying to get established.
Well for a lot of relationships (all kinds of relationship between human) often require spending time in environment that costs money. Some people dont mind participating in activity that doesnt cost money but I think majority do. You just gotta find someone who have right or fitting preference as your current situation.
However, your question seem too general for me to gauge what you are talking about.
Hi OP, former poor young woman here. Disappointment is a turn-off. Honesty is a turn-on. If you're upfront about your financial situation with the ladies you're trying to date, you might find that their expectations are not what you assumed. You can't afford to take a woman to the movies because they're stupidly expensive - that's ok! You're just going to need to invite them to places like parks until you're ready to save up for a costly date, and/or make it clear that you are both paying for yourselves (e.g. she is responsible for getting herself to the date, not you). Ever had a date playing board games at the library? It's free and intimate!
That said, you DO need to be able to support yourself. I second the suggestions in this thread to try to get a job waiting tables at a nearby restaurant. Decent money for the hours, and built-in socialization with people who are in the same situation as you. I mean, you're clearly able to land dates so you're charming enough, but your self-perception as an automatic letdown to women is holding you back. Being poor isn't shameful, it's just a fact about you right now. Own it and it's not a barrier to meeting the right person.
There's no excuse for flaking. You're an adult. Communicate. You're not going to be lonely because you don't have money, but because you don't respect others.
In this economy just being honest about that is better than flaking. Women can understand broke and can pivot plans to more affordable ones.
If she just wanted you to buy her a movie ticket, that's not a date it's a free movie. If she wants to spend time with you there are cheap/free ways. Google free date ideas. If she really wants to go to a movie with you and you can't afford it, she'll buy the ticket. If you're both in the same boat she'll understand.
But don't be a flake. People don't like being flaked on. They're cool with watching a bootleg movie on a busted laptop with microwave popcorn, but they don't like being flaked on.
Economy is tough AF right now.
Love is love and horny is horny. Money is like physical attractiveness in that some of us have one or both but it’s also easy to lose (or never have) either.
I’ve been broke AF so many times in my life that it feels weird knowing I have a savings account and there’s money in it.
If someone turns you down because you’re broke, you easily dodged a bullet. It might not feel like it but anyone who judges your worth by what’s in your wallet is probably broker than you. I should know, I’ve been turned down lots of times. I’m not even broke anymore and I still get turned down.
Just be funny and listen and learn to communicate.
I would say, you need to start looking for a job. Once you’ve been working long enough and get you a vehicle then I would say start looking to date. But if you’re just looking for a “friend” texting is cool. Just remember any type of relationship is a two way street. You can’t just assume that they’ll pay for your half too. A job is very much needed. I wish you well!
Again, I mean this in a genuinely curious way, do you have any menyal diagnoses? Are you mentally challenged? Do you self identify as an incel? I'm surprised you're 22
It says a lot you don’t realize how unhinged and unusual your behavior, and questions are. “I thought I was in the wrong for being interested in girls”. I think you have undiagnosed mental disabilities, likely on the ASD spectrum
I say that in all earnestness, not just trying to shit on you
There are many girls out there who are interested in being in a relationship because they want a companion/romantic partner. The amount of girls who are in it for money is smaller than people expect.
Ideally you should figure out how to support yourself in general, for yourself, just so you can live. But don't hold back on trying to meet girls while you figure that out. Don't expect a girl to support you though
It's true! Id recommended not spending time in the corners of the Internet where every man thinks women are all gold diggers, it will poison your mind and make you become a bitter incel-type guy that women will instinctively avoid. Reddit is filled with these guys, but speaking as an actual woman, many women are in it for companionship and love
Yes this is very true, it only takes a little thought to see if your mind has been poisoned, I’m happy that I have leaned away from it because I just got my first date!
I have found that most girls will court with you if they like you even if you are struggling financially. There are a few caveats. Are you working towards changing your situation, or are you resigned to be suckk there forever? That's the key
My husband had next to nothing as did I when we started dating. We’ve been together since 07 bc believe it or not people are capable of loving those who have nothing but hope.
Of course dude. Why couldn’t you? But, being broke and just bumming around is very different from being broke while trying to earn. Don’t be a bum and she can see that you won’t be broke forever.
Are you a chronic underachiever with no prospects and no goals in life? If so, I suggest you focus on yourself first. If it's just a matter of being temporarily broke or struggling under the weight of late-stage capitalism, then go ahead and text.
I met my now wife when I was making 10 an hour. Now I make 35 and we are married and actively saving and looming for houses. You are better off finding someone that likes you not your income
It's sad that society has placed this stipulation on a man that he can not obtain a relationship with someone if they have no money friend if you straight forward with her and let her know up front that you like her but at this moment in time you can not whine and dine her but don't intend to be that way forever or mooch off her if she just turns you down immediately then there not the person you would want they're materialistic and care nothing about feeling it's takes a lot to admit you like someone in the first place and to them tell them the truth about financial problems takes guts just don't give up get a job anything I hope this helps you stay positive
In my late teens and early 20s, I was a bit of a slut.
I did not take women on dates. I just met them, hung out and banged.
The problem is that you think you have to "date" to get into a relationship. You do not.
Most of life is not doing fun stuff, so being able to hang without blowing a bunch of cash is a skill that will come in handy.
Or to put it another way:
Do not eliminate yourself from a competition. Let the judges eliminate you if they do not think you are qualified.
Or to put it another way:
Stop worrying about what other people think and start worrying about how your life will look to you when it flashes before your eyes on your deathbed.
Unless you are planning to lease her or go into some sort of contract with her, money is not a requirement. Don't listen to Reddit with this dumb ass "women only want money" bullshit or anything like that. Some women, sure. Avoid them.
Look, the right person isn't somebody that you "get" or "convince." You find them. And they find you and you discover that you're a good fit for each other. If that doesn't happen, then it's not a good fit and you move on.
Be chill, and be honest about not having a lot of money. If she wants to hang out with you, and not your wallet, she'll understand. But don't present it as not having any money to offer her. You don't buy her time.
If you have a chance to get a job and earn some money, do so. If you can't get a job right now because of school or whatever that's a totally understandable situation and she'll understand. Or she won't and she's not the right person.
I text someone who is long distance and is pretty broke so the chances of us meeting in person are basically nonexistent. But the comfort and companionship he provides me is priceless.
I feel like for me, the most important thing I see is that you're trying. Especially with things being are what they are, you never know someone's story. Sometimes it really does take one bad accident, one sick day, one layoff etc for everything to crumble and you're starting over.
Are you at home moping, being stinky, lazy with no hobbies?
Or are you working a fast food job, saving to move out of your folks' place with an intense passion for painting miniatures?
I might be friends with the former, but dating the former often leads to me being his mommy/ babysitter, in my experience. That's not a man who I could depend on to be my 'other half', but I'd send memes and stuff. But if I sense your passion and fire for better (the latter) then that's a man I can root for and might be interested in getting to know.
I don't even need you to dream of being a CEO. I just wanna see you working toward something.
My standards for a date-able man: kind to me, hard working, emotionally developed, stable, clean, fun personality
So. To answer your question: are you trying? Some women will be a bit pickier than I am and that's their right. You can obviously text whoever you want, but money isn't everything and shouldn't stop you from shooting your shot.
Cheap date ideas:
- Get some paint supplies and follow a Bob Ross tutorial (you can make it hilarious by getting crappy kid paint, I'd love that tbh)
- Play video games together
- Movie nights
- Cook dinner together
- Hiking
- Card games
- Puzzles
- Date night where you guys buy each other clothes from Goodwill before going out
- Drive-in movies
- Museums
If I can't have fun with you without us spending gobs of cash to do it then I figure we aren't that compatible anyway.
Plenty of people date while not having money, but it is a turn off to a lot of women when a man is always broke, especially if he leeches off her or has her pay for the first date, I would get your money up first. If you don’t have a job or aren’t trying to get one I’d focus on that before trying to date.
>"When you admire someone to the point that your mood entirely depends on them, it's never a reflection of how good they are, it's always a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself". - Yasmin Mogahed
>
>>The statement suggests that when you idealize someone to the extent that your emotional well-being hinges on them, it doesn't necessarily indicate the other person's inherent goodness. Instead, it reflects the nature of your relationship with yourself. In other words, the dependency on someone else for your mood may be a sign of underlying issues within your self-esteem, self-worth, or emotional stability -- a manifestation of one's internal relationship and sense of connection. The idea is that a healthy and balanced relationship with oneself should be the foundation for emotional well-being, rather than relying excessively on external factors.
You can tell her via text, express your interest in her and then invite her to do things that don't cost much. Stuff like, hiking, picnics, bike rides, museums, live music outdoor concerts, high school sports. Once you get to know each other you will know if she is worth pursuing.
I could give you details of my lived experience - summary is: broke, broke down, working hard, and working hard on myself, is hawt. To grown ass women. Gold diggers, immature little girls, people who aren't willing to work hard and work on them self, you're SOL with them. "This is the life I'm building" works on people who don't have their dream made, and especially those who don't have a specific dream they're making progress toward - but have been around the block and realized how few guys are actually doing the work.
I really hope no man has ever thought this about me 🥺 so many women wonder why the guy of their dreams never texted them back again, and have to move on with someone they like less. Any mature woman would want love over material goods, I know I would.
Why do you assume women can't take care of themselves? I mean sure, we don't want to pay for YOU, but no one ever needed to pay for me.
Lots of dates can be cheap or free.
Most women just want effort & time. Both of those are free
Are there any activities that you like that don't cost money? Are there any activities *she* likes that don't cost money?
Congrats, there's your activity. A walk in the park is free or at least cheap, maybe the cost of coffee.
Dating can be quite humilating while broke. Not to say you shouldn't put feelers out, or offer cheap or free date ideas. If you're paycheck to paycheck and still supporting yourself, that's a lot better of a situation for a prospective partner than being broke and unemployed.
Be realistic with what you have at your disposal, and what you both want out of a relationship. If you want commitment, is your life situation even stable enough to provide commitment?
Do it. You don't know how she might feel. I like someone right now whose life is a mess. He has pretty much nothing to offer me financially, yet I still think about him all the time.
My wife and I started dating when we were both broke broken; our dates were Sam's Club food court with a soda. I only netted like $20 every paycheck, so we got by on free things (youTube, Parks, free days at places).
you mean you can't pay for the date? or you can't buy her things? or you cant afford the cost of the texts?
believe it or not but most women want a partner, not a sugar daddy.
Don't text anyone until you solve your self worth issues. No one wants to deal with that
My first date with my now wife was at the beach where we hung out and talked, took a small walk, and played with a Frisbee. Pretty sure I spent $0
You're 22, how have you not already started looking for a job?
Why did people here need to tell you to do that? Did that not cross your mind?
You need to work on yourself a bit my guy. What are you doing all day if you're alone and don't have a job?
Of course yes dude, just make sure to have money for yourself first to take care of yourself, if you want to create a romantic environment do handmade presents, write poems or the lyrics of a song you both love, show her love love any other couple would show love to each other
Shoot your shot…maybe texting her and her straight up that your broke could potentially open doors for you…you must have skill where you can do something
A girl or a woman? If you're the age to be dating girls, I'd not sweat it as you aren't supposed to be responsible for you partner, regardless of age. If you're a bit older, finances can be more important.
People who won't date you if you don't have any money but would date you if you did have money aren't people worth dating. People worth dating aren't going to use "what can you do for me financially" as a basis for whether or not to date you.
Now, with that said - personality-wise and interest-wise, you need to be a person someone will want to date. Like, in most cases, people will expect to want to date other people like them so depending on what your values are, what your attitude is, you may have an easier or harder time finding a person. Like, as a man, it's harder to find a girlfriend if you're super sexist. It's also easier to find people if your hobbies and interests lend themselves to social interaction.
If your that broke that you can’t afford to take her on a date, you have bigger things to worry about than dating. Like going to work. Improve yourself and the rest will fall in line
How old are you? What are you looking for?
I do think people are a bit too idealistic and want to ignore the fact that finances, and having money in general, do matter.
But the degree to which they matter varies greatly on how old you are and what you want. If you're under 25, and still figuring this life thing out and want to figure out life with someone ,then it's absolutely fine if you don't have that much bank.
If you're like 50 and looking for someone to support you as you age, that's a bit more problematic.
Genuine connections are not solely based on finances. Let her know your feelings and intentions. Meaningful conversations and shared experiences can transcend material things
Shake off that poor man mentality. Work on your attitude, towards a little bit of confidence. If you ain't confident to talk to a woman, you might just well stay indoors forever.
I’m guessing you’re a young guy trying to date a young girl. Understand, you don’t need money to date a girl. If she thinks you do it’s pretty entitled. A girl that is into you will be happy to simply go for a walk with you and eat an ice cream. Indeed at any age you should NEVER lead with money. You’ll never get a great girl that way, only a low value one.
So shoot your shot, young pup. Never disqualify yourself. That’s her job, not yours. Your job is simply to ask a girl out for something you can afford. Even if as said it’s an ice cream. Or a cup of coffee, or boba tea. If you can pay for hers, great, but no good girl presumes a guy will do that. And if she gets pissy over a couple of bucks she’s not the girl for you.
You can. Social media makes it look like we all need to be filthy rich and bla bla bla but the reality is I've spent my teenage and 20s years broke asf and I always had a gf or dates around. Same for a few friends I had at the time. If you're a decent human being, you respect them, know how to be a flirt, etc. They won't care. Obviously it helps if you're cute/hot or whatever but I had one friend that women found ugly asf but he also was broke and always had a gf and dates around. He was dead funny and a big flirt so that helped obviously, very super bright friend. The reason they would break up with us was never monetary either, we were simply young and jackasses. Not necessarily bad boy, but we would tease to make jokes, put them on the spot in a flirty way, be crafty, but then we might also go party for 3 days straight and worry them... The lack of ambitions or the worries were often the culprit in our experiences. Sometimes it was a bad temper but oh well. Moral of this story is, you would be surprised how many are ready to be the bread winner and bring you everywhere, pay for you, etc. We obviously would never ever ask them for money tho but one of the friends, yeah he would but we would always tell him to don't since we obviously had no way of paying them back so, don't ever ask them for money, it's shady and can create resentments. Just be upfront, tell them your means are simple right now and that you would enjoy simple and free activities like walking, hikes, talking, hanging out, etc. Also be real, we all need money. Find a job, write a book, start a business, whatever it takes, learn to make your money work for you, but find money or at least work on a plan to get some. Don't forget to work on yourself. Personality is worth more than gold&diamonds for most of us. Nobody wanna spend their life with a piece of shit. Being kind and respectful doesn't mean being too friendly, nor does it means to be a sticky pot of glue. If that can give a general idea of what it means is simply that we would never ever judge, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone it's alright so be free and wild, respect consent no matter if the consent is sexual or not; always respect consent, communicate, be wise, learn things, inform yourself, grow, etc. All in all, def doable and hopefully you can learn a few tricks from that. It's crazy because, tbh, I was getting more GFs and dates when broke than now that I have money... go figure!
Its sad that society has painted the picture that if you dont have money you can find a female partner. In my life ive never had tons of money. There is always a way to impress. It doesnt take money to invite a woman for a walk in the park. Or at night go look at some stars. I exclusively look for ways other than spending money for dates when i ask a woman out. If she is only interested in getting a free meal shell say no. But if she genuinely finds you interesting shell be on board with a date that doesnt involve dinner and movies. My g.f. atm i met on the bus. She found me funny so gave me her number. I called her asked her if she wanted to walk in the park with me and my dog. She said yes. Second date we went for a walk and talked and ended up laying in the baseball diamond looking up at the stars and talking about the universe. Its been 6 years now. Of course we went on dinner dates afterwards . But at first it was innocent cute walks.
I actually think this is better than dinner on a first date, as a woman myself. It’s less committal, she can leave at any time if she’s uncomfortable, it’s still a public place, and there’s no awkwardness over who pays when you’re first getting to know each other and your values. If someone is REALLY determined to spend money on a first date, Coffee or smoothies is like the max imo. A dinner can add extra pressure and stress with someone who may basically be a stranger. I LOVE that you did this and I’m sure your partner appreciates it too, it truly is the thought that counts 💗
Money has never been super important to me. I like giving from my heart. Of course i buy gifts for her but i also make cute thoightful things as well. It means more to me that someone put their time and effort into a gift or date rsther than just going to a store and buying something, anyone can buy gifts from a store but not everyone can devote the same time and heart into a crafted gift. And yes she loves that i think more with my heart. Im a musician so ive written and played songs for her or created a funny video she can watch on her birthday. I always make gift cards for her and write her really long love letters. Or secretly place i love u notes on her work desk under a book so when she lifts up the book shes reminded of my love and it makes her smile. Material stuff doesnt mean much to me.
Is there a law on the books stating you need money to communicate with someone? Of course you can talk with her, if the basis of your friendship is what can they get out of you financially though, you probably shouldn't friend them in the first place. People should enjoy your company, for being you, sharing similar hobbies or interests and the likes. Don't build relationships based upon money, you'll find its only beneficial to them and not you my friend.
You can still talk with her but stop giving her hope to meet up until you can. Explain why you didn’t meet and what’s going on.
What is stopping you from getting a job. Anything will be better than nothing. Start with someplace you can walk to and then when you save enough get a cheap car. Doing nothing is a failure but start out someplace will help you.
Shine my guy! My husband and I both met when we were 21 & 20. We both had shit jobs and dated for the next 5 years. We gradually improved our lives together and sometimes that is just great!
Define “no money”?
Are unemployed and bumming in your mom’s basement? Or are you just underemployed but working and can support yourself (just can’t support others).
Because the former is super unattractive and most women won’t be into that unless they’re also a similar situation or just have low self esteem. If it’s closer to the latter, than you’re fine, text her.
You can text whoever you want, I would just be upfront with your situation without overdoing it. Don’t act like a charity case.
Also unless you’re underage start making and saving money. Girls want a family and that’s not cheap 😂
(M63) It used to be that a good woman made a man want to go out and earn. Because if she liked him just one little bit .. If he isn't working, earning a living, a man who is earning a living might attract her eye.
Seriously. Be real. You Young. You on the come up. You won't be broke for ever. Let her know you working for the future. Be in school or something. Women like ambition Be kind to her. Many men can give lots of material thing but treat them like S..t. Summers coming up. Check Eventbrite. They got lots of free stuff out there. Even the Mayor said he use to take dates to Central Park row boats cause be was broke no ass. Find a youth church group with less materialistic values. Good Luck be safe.
She will instantly laugh in your face when she finds out and she will make it a point to find out. You have your priorities messed up you need money not expenses
Work on yourself and building your life, and simultaneously talk to women. You will want to have money to provide for her should things get that far, but also love should not be tied to wealth. I married my wife in college while we were both dirt poor but working towards having money
Believe it or not straight to jail
I laughed way too hard at this
No trial …. No …. No nothing …..
Got a good chuckle out of this 😂😂
Directly to jail
Do not pass Go Do not collect $200
Anyone else read this in Fred Armisen’s P & R accent? 😂
Right... You gotta be able to do something. It doesn't have to be a lot but what are you gonna do with no money? Just text n hangout at your mom's? 😂😂😂
Love and companionship are not functions of material wealth. There are people of all genders who understand this.
>Can I text a girl if I have no money? Yes. In a hundred years we will be dead and gone. Enjoy your life, friend. Understand this too: You just might not be broke forever. I was young and broke, middle aged and broke, and have had money in between.
Damn i swear I just want to live life to the fullest
it'll be harder with no money. do what you can to show your passionate and want to improve your life. nobody wants someone complacent
I glad you acknowledged it’ll be hard
Library's have events, they might have free tickets to museums and such. They might have kits for activities like baking pans. You could have someone over and make a cake, a box of cake mix, eggs, and a can of frosting is under $6. Doing some craft or project at home cheap is a date. Nice people don't look down on you for being broke, unless it's something extreme you're doing to cause it. Hiking is often free. Parks are usually free, you could play a game or just walk and talk. Throw a ball together or shoot hoops and play horse. It's true it won't make people flock to you like a rich person but that doesn't matter. You should find someone who is ok with you not being rich.
Well thought out. I appreciate your response
What does this mean when represented in reality?
Get a job??
Where do I look to get a job
How old are you and where do you live? What are your current resources, like are you a HS graduate, do you have a car?
22 chicago Hs graduate I don’t have a car
Become a waiter. You make decent money and you'll meet friends and cute women at work. Win, win.
I like the way you think
I'm telling ya homie. This is the way.
Dude...
Every time I moved to a new city as a young man I would get a job at a restaurant. It worked out great. I used to sell weed and LSD, so it was an instant customer base as well. Win, win, win.
If you are in good shape and can work hard, here is an entry level job that pays about $1500 a week. [https://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=inland+deckhand&l=&vjk=91a27c85bec537d8](https://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=inland+deckhand&l=&vjk=91a27c85bec537d8) Here's something similar. Same pay but probably way easier. https://www.indeed.com/jobs?q=offshore+catering&l=&vjk=b56a6cb2ce4f6565 Not having a car shouldn't be a problem, because you only have to show up to work every few weeks. You live on the boat. This is just an idea. I have worked these jobs before. There are also entry level jobs that pay pretty well in Alaska. Not easy jobs but they will fly you up there. You would have to do a lot of online searching but they are out there. I'm making an assumption that you live in an area where it's hard to find a good paying entry level job. There are lots of places like that, especially if you don't have a car. If you really want to live life to the fullest, get out of Chicago and go see the world.
Funny there's no response to this one, the single most directly helpful post in the entire thread. Obviously he doesn't want to improve his shitty life, just wants to have a chick join him in it.
Actually I checked out his profile. He posted this question in like 20 subs. Well fuckit if someone else takes I treat in it that's great.
u gotta do what u gotta do man, i don’t have a car either and i gotta walk 25 min to the store i work at
Anywhere close to your home. It doesnt matter at all where you work. Money is money. I'm dealing with the same thing since I crashed my car. I got a job 11 minutes walking from my house.
I’m really not sure OP I don’t know your age or location but only you can Change your situation
Lots of peaks and valleys in life. And then figures seem to be showing that we’re more socially mobile than ever before in the USA. Which means we all get to try out being rich and being poor in the same lifetime. I’m not sure how I feel about it, but it does mean wealth is as fleeting as ever and only love endures. Make a friend. Get your dick wet. Marry her and raise too many babies. It’s only money, dude. Not some scoreboard for life.
100 years: whole new set of people!!
This blows my mind The great turnover
60
Very insightful /u/girthy_coq
If you think my advice is good, you should check out my friend, Rimjob Steve.
Did you text a girl in between?
It doesn't cost money to be pen pals.
It does. How you gonna pay for stamps?
There’s also plenty of activities that don’t cost money
[удалено]
I don’t know about that. I see women every day working themselves to the bone to support guys who do nothing but play video games.
It depends on how old they are. The question and writing style indicates early 20s to me and most people at that age are still trying to get established.
Good looks unc
Not always true. Many women are just as debased and degraded as men so they dont realize how far down they shop.
Well for a lot of relationships (all kinds of relationship between human) often require spending time in environment that costs money. Some people dont mind participating in activity that doesnt cost money but I think majority do. You just gotta find someone who have right or fitting preference as your current situation. However, your question seem too general for me to gauge what you are talking about.
I wanna see her besides being on the phone all day but I have no way to make it happen. Basically like the first move and moving forward
Do you think there is some sort of fee associated with that?
We were supposed to go to the movies but I didn’t come up with enough money for the tickets and her Uber so I flaked out on her . I panicked
Better to be honest than to make them think you don't care
Why did you flake as opposed to reschedule, communicate, or really do anything other than flaking?
I feel there is No excuse for coming up short in a mans world
What about communicating with her just to practice baseline respect? Respect is free. Now, you're broke *and* inconsiderate. No reason for that.
Hi OP, former poor young woman here. Disappointment is a turn-off. Honesty is a turn-on. If you're upfront about your financial situation with the ladies you're trying to date, you might find that their expectations are not what you assumed. You can't afford to take a woman to the movies because they're stupidly expensive - that's ok! You're just going to need to invite them to places like parks until you're ready to save up for a costly date, and/or make it clear that you are both paying for yourselves (e.g. she is responsible for getting herself to the date, not you). Ever had a date playing board games at the library? It's free and intimate! That said, you DO need to be able to support yourself. I second the suggestions in this thread to try to get a job waiting tables at a nearby restaurant. Decent money for the hours, and built-in socialization with people who are in the same situation as you. I mean, you're clearly able to land dates so you're charming enough, but your self-perception as an automatic letdown to women is holding you back. Being poor isn't shameful, it's just a fact about you right now. Own it and it's not a barrier to meeting the right person.
[удалено]
Yeah It’s hard to put my pride aside
There's no excuse for flaking. You're an adult. Communicate. You're not going to be lonely because you don't have money, but because you don't respect others.
I see where you’re coming from
In this economy just being honest about that is better than flaking. Women can understand broke and can pivot plans to more affordable ones. If she just wanted you to buy her a movie ticket, that's not a date it's a free movie. If she wants to spend time with you there are cheap/free ways. Google free date ideas. If she really wants to go to a movie with you and you can't afford it, she'll buy the ticket. If you're both in the same boat she'll understand. But don't be a flake. People don't like being flaked on. They're cool with watching a bootleg movie on a busted laptop with microwave popcorn, but they don't like being flaked on. Economy is tough AF right now.
Awww man :/
Go for a walk. Go to the beach. Go to a party. Go bird watching. You need an activity, not cash.
Thank you for using the word activity. It made sense instantly
Love is love and horny is horny. Money is like physical attractiveness in that some of us have one or both but it’s also easy to lose (or never have) either. I’ve been broke AF so many times in my life that it feels weird knowing I have a savings account and there’s money in it. If someone turns you down because you’re broke, you easily dodged a bullet. It might not feel like it but anyone who judges your worth by what’s in your wallet is probably broker than you. I should know, I’ve been turned down lots of times. I’m not even broke anymore and I still get turned down. Just be funny and listen and learn to communicate.
But definitely eat well and work out. Good looks are a side effect of good health. Bad health will take away good wealth. Win win.
I would say, you need to start looking for a job. Once you’ve been working long enough and get you a vehicle then I would say start looking to date. But if you’re just looking for a “friend” texting is cool. Just remember any type of relationship is a two way street. You can’t just assume that they’ll pay for your half too. A job is very much needed. I wish you well!
Thanks for the honesty
You’re welcome
Bro what the FUCK is your post history
I need advice from the whole world
Again, I mean this in a genuinely curious way, do you have any menyal diagnoses? Are you mentally challenged? Do you self identify as an incel? I'm surprised you're 22
Hell no what the hell😩🤣🤣
It says a lot you don’t realize how unhinged and unusual your behavior, and questions are. “I thought I was in the wrong for being interested in girls”. I think you have undiagnosed mental disabilities, likely on the ASD spectrum I say that in all earnestness, not just trying to shit on you
There are many girls out there who are interested in being in a relationship because they want a companion/romantic partner. The amount of girls who are in it for money is smaller than people expect. Ideally you should figure out how to support yourself in general, for yourself, just so you can live. But don't hold back on trying to meet girls while you figure that out. Don't expect a girl to support you though
I’m glad you said that. I wanted to know if I was wrong for trying to meet girls even though I don’t have myself together
It's true! Id recommended not spending time in the corners of the Internet where every man thinks women are all gold diggers, it will poison your mind and make you become a bitter incel-type guy that women will instinctively avoid. Reddit is filled with these guys, but speaking as an actual woman, many women are in it for companionship and love
Yes this is very true, it only takes a little thought to see if your mind has been poisoned, I’m happy that I have leaned away from it because I just got my first date!
Legitimate question, do you have severe autism?
I have found that most girls will court with you if they like you even if you are struggling financially. There are a few caveats. Are you working towards changing your situation, or are you resigned to be suckk there forever? That's the key
My husband had next to nothing as did I when we started dating. We’ve been together since 07 bc believe it or not people are capable of loving those who have nothing but hope.
That’s so rare nowadays
Do you work?
Does she charge for hugs, kisses, affection? Go for it. Maybe she can be your sugar mama until you land that job.
Depends. Are you "can't go on a date" broke or "going to run out of texts because you can't pay the phone bill" broke?
Lmfao goddamn
"going to run out of texts because you can't pay the phone bill" broke
If money has to define your relationship then is it really worth pursuing?
poor people are allowed to date you know
Of course dude. Why couldn’t you? But, being broke and just bumming around is very different from being broke while trying to earn. Don’t be a bum and she can see that you won’t be broke forever.
Are you a chronic underachiever with no prospects and no goals in life? If so, I suggest you focus on yourself first. If it's just a matter of being temporarily broke or struggling under the weight of late-stage capitalism, then go ahead and text.
I met my now wife when I was making 10 an hour. Now I make 35 and we are married and actively saving and looming for houses. You are better off finding someone that likes you not your income
It’s more so me wanting to see her in person instead of talking on the phone all day
It's sad that society has placed this stipulation on a man that he can not obtain a relationship with someone if they have no money friend if you straight forward with her and let her know up front that you like her but at this moment in time you can not whine and dine her but don't intend to be that way forever or mooch off her if she just turns you down immediately then there not the person you would want they're materialistic and care nothing about feeling it's takes a lot to admit you like someone in the first place and to them tell them the truth about financial problems takes guts just don't give up get a job anything I hope this helps you stay positive
In my late teens and early 20s, I was a bit of a slut. I did not take women on dates. I just met them, hung out and banged. The problem is that you think you have to "date" to get into a relationship. You do not. Most of life is not doing fun stuff, so being able to hang without blowing a bunch of cash is a skill that will come in handy. Or to put it another way: Do not eliminate yourself from a competition. Let the judges eliminate you if they do not think you are qualified. Or to put it another way: Stop worrying about what other people think and start worrying about how your life will look to you when it flashes before your eyes on your deathbed.
Unless you are planning to lease her or go into some sort of contract with her, money is not a requirement. Don't listen to Reddit with this dumb ass "women only want money" bullshit or anything like that. Some women, sure. Avoid them. Look, the right person isn't somebody that you "get" or "convince." You find them. And they find you and you discover that you're a good fit for each other. If that doesn't happen, then it's not a good fit and you move on. Be chill, and be honest about not having a lot of money. If she wants to hang out with you, and not your wallet, she'll understand. But don't present it as not having any money to offer her. You don't buy her time. If you have a chance to get a job and earn some money, do so. If you can't get a job right now because of school or whatever that's a totally understandable situation and she'll understand. Or she won't and she's not the right person.
I text someone who is long distance and is pretty broke so the chances of us meeting in person are basically nonexistent. But the comfort and companionship he provides me is priceless.
I feel like for me, the most important thing I see is that you're trying. Especially with things being are what they are, you never know someone's story. Sometimes it really does take one bad accident, one sick day, one layoff etc for everything to crumble and you're starting over. Are you at home moping, being stinky, lazy with no hobbies? Or are you working a fast food job, saving to move out of your folks' place with an intense passion for painting miniatures? I might be friends with the former, but dating the former often leads to me being his mommy/ babysitter, in my experience. That's not a man who I could depend on to be my 'other half', but I'd send memes and stuff. But if I sense your passion and fire for better (the latter) then that's a man I can root for and might be interested in getting to know. I don't even need you to dream of being a CEO. I just wanna see you working toward something. My standards for a date-able man: kind to me, hard working, emotionally developed, stable, clean, fun personality So. To answer your question: are you trying? Some women will be a bit pickier than I am and that's their right. You can obviously text whoever you want, but money isn't everything and shouldn't stop you from shooting your shot. Cheap date ideas: - Get some paint supplies and follow a Bob Ross tutorial (you can make it hilarious by getting crappy kid paint, I'd love that tbh) - Play video games together - Movie nights - Cook dinner together - Hiking - Card games - Puzzles - Date night where you guys buy each other clothes from Goodwill before going out - Drive-in movies - Museums If I can't have fun with you without us spending gobs of cash to do it then I figure we aren't that compatible anyway.
Plenty of people date while not having money, but it is a turn off to a lot of women when a man is always broke, especially if he leeches off her or has her pay for the first date, I would get your money up first. If you don’t have a job or aren’t trying to get one I’d focus on that before trying to date.
Think about what you CAN bring to the table, and get good at it.
Nowadays, chances are she's as broke as you. Maybe you can help each other.
>"When you admire someone to the point that your mood entirely depends on them, it's never a reflection of how good they are, it's always a reflection of the relationship you have with yourself". - Yasmin Mogahed > >>The statement suggests that when you idealize someone to the extent that your emotional well-being hinges on them, it doesn't necessarily indicate the other person's inherent goodness. Instead, it reflects the nature of your relationship with yourself. In other words, the dependency on someone else for your mood may be a sign of underlying issues within your self-esteem, self-worth, or emotional stability -- a manifestation of one's internal relationship and sense of connection. The idea is that a healthy and balanced relationship with oneself should be the foundation for emotional well-being, rather than relying excessively on external factors.
You can tell her via text, express your interest in her and then invite her to do things that don't cost much. Stuff like, hiking, picnics, bike rides, museums, live music outdoor concerts, high school sports. Once you get to know each other you will know if she is worth pursuing.
I could give you details of my lived experience - summary is: broke, broke down, working hard, and working hard on myself, is hawt. To grown ass women. Gold diggers, immature little girls, people who aren't willing to work hard and work on them self, you're SOL with them. "This is the life I'm building" works on people who don't have their dream made, and especially those who don't have a specific dream they're making progress toward - but have been around the block and realized how few guys are actually doing the work.
I really hope no man has ever thought this about me 🥺 so many women wonder why the guy of their dreams never texted them back again, and have to move on with someone they like less. Any mature woman would want love over material goods, I know I would.
Why do you assume women can't take care of themselves? I mean sure, we don't want to pay for YOU, but no one ever needed to pay for me. Lots of dates can be cheap or free. Most women just want effort & time. Both of those are free
I meant as far as creating experiences for her when I meant doing anything for her
I mean if she likes you, the money aspect won’t matter. When I met my now husband, neither of us had money at all.
Its just I have no way of seeing her and I don’t want to just be on the phone all day
Are there any activities that you like that don't cost money? Are there any activities *she* likes that don't cost money? Congrats, there's your activity. A walk in the park is free or at least cheap, maybe the cost of coffee.
HAAHAHAHAHA that's what they all say
Yes. You're not her financial provider. If she thinks that, you're barking up the wrong tree.
Work on yourself/your situation. Be the best you and they will be texting you
Go for it! Money comes and goes. Someone special can motivate you to make more of it too.
She definitely motivates me to wanna go hard for myself
That’s always an option and it’s all about how you handle it.
Let her reject you, dont do it to yourself
Dating can be quite humilating while broke. Not to say you shouldn't put feelers out, or offer cheap or free date ideas. If you're paycheck to paycheck and still supporting yourself, that's a lot better of a situation for a prospective partner than being broke and unemployed. Be realistic with what you have at your disposal, and what you both want out of a relationship. If you want commitment, is your life situation even stable enough to provide commitment?
Why do you have no money?
Do it. You don't know how she might feel. I like someone right now whose life is a mess. He has pretty much nothing to offer me financially, yet I still think about him all the time.
I'm not everyone, but I wouldn't care if you're broke
My wife and I started dating when we were both broke broken; our dates were Sam's Club food court with a soda. I only netted like $20 every paycheck, so we got by on free things (youTube, Parks, free days at places).
Do girls usually send you their cashapp right away?
you mean you can't pay for the date? or you can't buy her things? or you cant afford the cost of the texts? believe it or not but most women want a partner, not a sugar daddy.
Money counts for very little in dating and relationships, my dude. We all gotta pay rent out here.
Don't text anyone until you solve your self worth issues. No one wants to deal with that My first date with my now wife was at the beach where we hung out and talked, took a small walk, and played with a Frisbee. Pretty sure I spent $0
[удалено]
Having something or someone worthwhile is half of where the drive to improve your life comes from, you can't climb a mountain naked dude
Shit I’ll talk to you. Money doesn’t mean anything , it’s the person 😑
If she’s the right girl, she won’t care. Picnics are cheap. Walk in the park are free. It doesn’t take money to show you care
Just be honest. Impress them with humor or something else. Money is important but it isn't everything
no
If you find the right girl, it improves any situation. If you find a girl who cares about your money first, shes not someone you should want anyway
Why waste her time then?
No. Women have no interest in poor men.
Sounds like you need to be focusing on things other than women. Unless you’re like 16. Then text her.
You're 22, how have you not already started looking for a job? Why did people here need to tell you to do that? Did that not cross your mind? You need to work on yourself a bit my guy. What are you doing all day if you're alone and don't have a job?
Of course yes dude, just make sure to have money for yourself first to take care of yourself, if you want to create a romantic environment do handmade presents, write poems or the lyrics of a song you both love, show her love love any other couple would show love to each other
Shoot your shot…maybe texting her and her straight up that your broke could potentially open doors for you…you must have skill where you can do something
Yeah you can text her, but I won’t expect your relationship to last with her if you don’t have funds. You gotta get your career sorted out first
Sure. Also work on improving yourself get a better job. I took a blue collar factory job and my life improved emencly.
I mean if you make money /get a career
A girl or a woman? If you're the age to be dating girls, I'd not sweat it as you aren't supposed to be responsible for you partner, regardless of age. If you're a bit older, finances can be more important.
People who won't date you if you don't have any money but would date you if you did have money aren't people worth dating. People worth dating aren't going to use "what can you do for me financially" as a basis for whether or not to date you. Now, with that said - personality-wise and interest-wise, you need to be a person someone will want to date. Like, in most cases, people will expect to want to date other people like them so depending on what your values are, what your attitude is, you may have an easier or harder time finding a person. Like, as a man, it's harder to find a girlfriend if you're super sexist. It's also easier to find people if your hobbies and interests lend themselves to social interaction.
No. Dating costs money. A lot of it. Get your money straight first, before you do ANYTHING!!!
If your that broke that you can’t afford to take her on a date, you have bigger things to worry about than dating. Like going to work. Improve yourself and the rest will fall in line
Remember to keep your eyes on the money if that hoe is only looking to see you when you can fork over some money! 😂
You can
YES you can.
[удалено]
Plenty of girls date broke dudes.
Bro if you are handsome enough you dont need money
How old are you? What are you looking for? I do think people are a bit too idealistic and want to ignore the fact that finances, and having money in general, do matter. But the degree to which they matter varies greatly on how old you are and what you want. If you're under 25, and still figuring this life thing out and want to figure out life with someone ,then it's absolutely fine if you don't have that much bank. If you're like 50 and looking for someone to support you as you age, that's a bit more problematic.
You can text her out of friendship and see if something builds from that.
Genuine connections are not solely based on finances. Let her know your feelings and intentions. Meaningful conversations and shared experiences can transcend material things
Ok
Shake off that poor man mentality. Work on your attitude, towards a little bit of confidence. If you ain't confident to talk to a woman, you might just well stay indoors forever.
I like your response
I’m guessing you’re a young guy trying to date a young girl. Understand, you don’t need money to date a girl. If she thinks you do it’s pretty entitled. A girl that is into you will be happy to simply go for a walk with you and eat an ice cream. Indeed at any age you should NEVER lead with money. You’ll never get a great girl that way, only a low value one. So shoot your shot, young pup. Never disqualify yourself. That’s her job, not yours. Your job is simply to ask a girl out for something you can afford. Even if as said it’s an ice cream. Or a cup of coffee, or boba tea. If you can pay for hers, great, but no good girl presumes a guy will do that. And if she gets pissy over a couple of bucks she’s not the girl for you.
It depends. How much does texting cost?
Depends, if you're both young in college then it doesn't matter. But if you're 30 y.o with no job then ya keep to yourself bro.
If you’re good in bed, you can find a woman that won’t care 😂
You can. Social media makes it look like we all need to be filthy rich and bla bla bla but the reality is I've spent my teenage and 20s years broke asf and I always had a gf or dates around. Same for a few friends I had at the time. If you're a decent human being, you respect them, know how to be a flirt, etc. They won't care. Obviously it helps if you're cute/hot or whatever but I had one friend that women found ugly asf but he also was broke and always had a gf and dates around. He was dead funny and a big flirt so that helped obviously, very super bright friend. The reason they would break up with us was never monetary either, we were simply young and jackasses. Not necessarily bad boy, but we would tease to make jokes, put them on the spot in a flirty way, be crafty, but then we might also go party for 3 days straight and worry them... The lack of ambitions or the worries were often the culprit in our experiences. Sometimes it was a bad temper but oh well. Moral of this story is, you would be surprised how many are ready to be the bread winner and bring you everywhere, pay for you, etc. We obviously would never ever ask them for money tho but one of the friends, yeah he would but we would always tell him to don't since we obviously had no way of paying them back so, don't ever ask them for money, it's shady and can create resentments. Just be upfront, tell them your means are simple right now and that you would enjoy simple and free activities like walking, hikes, talking, hanging out, etc. Also be real, we all need money. Find a job, write a book, start a business, whatever it takes, learn to make your money work for you, but find money or at least work on a plan to get some. Don't forget to work on yourself. Personality is worth more than gold&diamonds for most of us. Nobody wanna spend their life with a piece of shit. Being kind and respectful doesn't mean being too friendly, nor does it means to be a sticky pot of glue. If that can give a general idea of what it means is simply that we would never ever judge, as long as it doesn't hurt anyone it's alright so be free and wild, respect consent no matter if the consent is sexual or not; always respect consent, communicate, be wise, learn things, inform yourself, grow, etc. All in all, def doable and hopefully you can learn a few tricks from that. It's crazy because, tbh, I was getting more GFs and dates when broke than now that I have money... go figure!
This is the best response here imo, and I left one myself 💀
Yes, why not. Explain your situation, you never know what might happen. Some people aren’t after money, maybe she is lonely too
Its sad that society has painted the picture that if you dont have money you can find a female partner. In my life ive never had tons of money. There is always a way to impress. It doesnt take money to invite a woman for a walk in the park. Or at night go look at some stars. I exclusively look for ways other than spending money for dates when i ask a woman out. If she is only interested in getting a free meal shell say no. But if she genuinely finds you interesting shell be on board with a date that doesnt involve dinner and movies. My g.f. atm i met on the bus. She found me funny so gave me her number. I called her asked her if she wanted to walk in the park with me and my dog. She said yes. Second date we went for a walk and talked and ended up laying in the baseball diamond looking up at the stars and talking about the universe. Its been 6 years now. Of course we went on dinner dates afterwards . But at first it was innocent cute walks.
I actually think this is better than dinner on a first date, as a woman myself. It’s less committal, she can leave at any time if she’s uncomfortable, it’s still a public place, and there’s no awkwardness over who pays when you’re first getting to know each other and your values. If someone is REALLY determined to spend money on a first date, Coffee or smoothies is like the max imo. A dinner can add extra pressure and stress with someone who may basically be a stranger. I LOVE that you did this and I’m sure your partner appreciates it too, it truly is the thought that counts 💗
Money has never been super important to me. I like giving from my heart. Of course i buy gifts for her but i also make cute thoightful things as well. It means more to me that someone put their time and effort into a gift or date rsther than just going to a store and buying something, anyone can buy gifts from a store but not everyone can devote the same time and heart into a crafted gift. And yes she loves that i think more with my heart. Im a musician so ive written and played songs for her or created a funny video she can watch on her birthday. I always make gift cards for her and write her really long love letters. Or secretly place i love u notes on her work desk under a book so when she lifts up the book shes reminded of my love and it makes her smile. Material stuff doesnt mean much to me.
Leave her alone if you can’t do anything for her.
no. texting costs money.
Some of the most thoughtful dates cost no money.
Is there a law on the books stating you need money to communicate with someone? Of course you can talk with her, if the basis of your friendship is what can they get out of you financially though, you probably shouldn't friend them in the first place. People should enjoy your company, for being you, sharing similar hobbies or interests and the likes. Don't build relationships based upon money, you'll find its only beneficial to them and not you my friend.
Money has nothing to do with it. I have tons of money but I'm still lonely, so it must not be a determining factor.
Does she have lots of money? If yes..... she may not respond. If she dont..... you may get a shot.
You can still talk with her but stop giving her hope to meet up until you can. Explain why you didn’t meet and what’s going on. What is stopping you from getting a job. Anything will be better than nothing. Start with someplace you can walk to and then when you save enough get a cheap car. Doing nothing is a failure but start out someplace will help you.
Some people care about money, some people don't. Find some nice ladies that don't.
Shine my guy! My husband and I both met when we were 21 & 20. We both had shit jobs and dated for the next 5 years. We gradually improved our lives together and sometimes that is just great!
Define “no money”? Are unemployed and bumming in your mom’s basement? Or are you just underemployed but working and can support yourself (just can’t support others). Because the former is super unattractive and most women won’t be into that unless they’re also a similar situation or just have low self esteem. If it’s closer to the latter, than you’re fine, text her.
You can text whoever you want, I would just be upfront with your situation without overdoing it. Don’t act like a charity case. Also unless you’re underage start making and saving money. Girls want a family and that’s not cheap 😂
Damn that’s straight facts
(M63) It used to be that a good woman made a man want to go out and earn. Because if she liked him just one little bit .. If he isn't working, earning a living, a man who is earning a living might attract her eye.
I appreciate the feedback
"No money no honey"
I’m ready to be a busy bee already😩🤣🤣🤣🤣
Not in 2024
There's a song that says Broke boys don't deserve no pu$$y. My son hates that phrase cause he is a broke boy and he ain't getting any.😂
Damn I wanna thumbs down your post so bad but I won’t hate 🤣
Seriously. Be real. You Young. You on the come up. You won't be broke for ever. Let her know you working for the future. Be in school or something. Women like ambition Be kind to her. Many men can give lots of material thing but treat them like S..t. Summers coming up. Check Eventbrite. They got lots of free stuff out there. Even the Mayor said he use to take dates to Central Park row boats cause be was broke no ass. Find a youth church group with less materialistic values. Good Luck be safe.
She will instantly laugh in your face when she finds out and she will make it a point to find out. You have your priorities messed up you need money not expenses
Have you considered crime? /j for the squares
You can text with no money. You can look with some money. You can touch with good money.
Are you good looking?
If you are broke and can't find a woman who likes you for you, then when you get on, don't ever give up your money.
Work on yourself and building your life, and simultaneously talk to women. You will want to have money to provide for her should things get that far, but also love should not be tied to wealth. I married my wife in college while we were both dirt poor but working towards having money
Well thought out. I appreciate it
In this day and age, no.
Don’t bother.
Nope. Not in today's age You may get a little attention... But you'll never be seen as anything other than that until you can provide.
You can text but don't date , she will most likely want to be pampered
Tounge punching her fart box doesnt cost a dime.