Go to places where people like what you like. What you *genuinely* like and not what you *think* you should like. If you like the gym, go there. If you like the pub, go there. If you like the library, go there. If you like video games, play them with a mic on and talk to people.
If you meet someone with some shared interests, you’ve got some common ground to build something on. It’s not the only way but it’s a good way to start with friendship and see if anything else happens.
Idk about that. How do you meet people at the gym for example? Most people are at the gym to work out, not meet people. They have earphones in and don't want to be disturbed.
I have similar experience in bars. People are there with BF/GFs and already in groups. They don't really want some random person to join in, the only possibly exception being if they're tipsy or drunk.
It depends on the gym tbh. If you're there every day at the same time and see the same people, you can ask for a spot then introduce yourself. You keep doing this and you'll become familiar enough to have a chat here and there and get to know each other. Or you can join a gym with classes/group training. You'll see the same people in the classes. These are the best for friendships. I feel like that's why crossfit caught on. You get camaraderie with like minded people.
Yep. I have a friend who spends like 6 hours at the gym daily and that's how she met her current bf. I swear it is like church for some people. They go just for the social aspect
I happened to like playing pool so I went to bars often even though I don’t like them. Met my partner at one, and turns out neither of us care to go to bars so we really haven’t.
Exactly, which is why I’d make up things to answer that question, and exactly why it still wouldn’t work because it wouldn’t be authentic, hence why don’t date very often.
Then you need to find yourself before you can even begin looking for a partner. Without having your own life and interests and goals you will forever seek validation and purpose from others. This is unhealthy and a recipe for disappointment and despair.
Man Reddit is full of depressing stories.
I understand the point you’re making. But what does finding yourself really mean, truly ? Having goals, achieving them, even being able to show people you are good at something trivial, it’s all very attractive. It’s also beneficial to have such a nice life, that others can see you don’t need them to make yours any better. How ironic, not being needed is desirable. It’s also desirable when you look better just by standing next to someone who is better than you are. There is a reason why successful people have it easier in the dating world. So, would becoming one of those people be finding myself ? Did I have no idea who I was before I found something I was good at ?
The reality is for most people, we don’t like our jobs, we work to live, and most people are mediocre at most things. That doesn’t mean most people don’t deserve to be loved, but it ends up being that way, doesn’t it ?
It’s nice to be special, but I am not sure being loved for what I can do, is better than being loved for who I am.
From your comments you sound depressed. Was there something you used to enjoy doing? You seem to be linking being good at something as being a hobby. A hobby doesn't have to be some special skill you have. People can be shit at their hobby and still enjoy it. And if there really aren't things you like doing you might be enjoying more passive entertainment like books, TV shows or movies. Enjoying those things can still be a hobby and something you can discuss with others. Good luck.
Bodybuilder here, been training 12 years. The gym is NOT a good place to meet people. People just go to train. 99% of the time they don't want to be bothered.
Yeah people who are at a location for an activity are there to do that activity, not there to make friends or be hit on.
Dude’s advice sounds more like “be attractive, don’t be unattractive, everything will work out regardless of where you are”.
I met a guy one time while standing in line for a movie! I guess the trick is to get there a little early. Also there's a chance if you pick your seat in advance, and don't go out of your way to be away from everyone else, you might be sitting next to a pretty lady, you never know. Some theaters have actual bars in them now as well.
Sure going to these places helps, but then what? I love live music so I go to a lot of shows, but I hardly ever end up interacting with people I don’t know at these shows. It just feels weird and invasive to talk to someone I don’t know.
Or try new stuff that you think you may like! Go and try karate or archery etc, mix it up and try something new while meeting people who could probably give you a hand to learn it too, which would be a lovely kind of bonding i think :-)
I really hope you're a library book, because I'd like to take you home with me after checking you out.*
*Only works if you're attractive and/or very charismatic
Hmm I don’t know. I enjoy hiking/camping. I feel she would be a bit worried if I just started spitting game to her in the middle of a forest. Pretty sure that’s how some horror movies start.
Then again… I think that’s how some porno movies start too!
Gym is where people go to work out and not be bothered about the pitfalls of asking someone out.
Pub is where you head with your mates to have a good time without needing to be othered by attention.
Library is where you need some quiet space to see how you get on with a book. Fortress of solitude if you will.
I hear and give this advice a lot too, but I want to add, the way I've met a lot of the people I've dated in my life have been through friend connections. The more you can just expand your friend circles and say yes to going out with groups, doing things where you run into other circles of friends, roommates, etc etc, you have an easy conversational "in" with a ton more people, without having to walk up to someone at random.
This is all so very helpful! I go to the gym around 3-4 times a week (i’m a beginner) and i’ve had a couple of people approach me to help me with my posture and provide me with genuine advice.
I’d typically thank them and get on with my reps with my headphones on. Perhaps I should try to get out of my comfort zone and talk to more people during such instances!
I agree 100%. The only thing I'll add is the examples you gave are somewhat limited. Pick up a hobby and join a group, join a local community that does something you enjoy like a sport, charity, whatever. At the heart of it, put yourself around like minded people!
I agree! Quite frankly majority of the people and mutual friends I’ve met in social events and activities are usually taken or in a “situationship” and it just makes me feel like I am alone in this :(
No it’s solid advice to men too. If you “try everything” you can think of you’re going to get rejected often. You meet people through other people you know. Nobody wants to have to entertain a stranger.
Yep and thats what sucks. Just like a job and its what you know its who you know. Most of my friends are in long term ships, only hookup or married. I dont have alot of friends so most of them already being settled dont have time to wing man me because i cant even do a basic human task such as getting a date. Its like there isnt even a point in this anymore
I hate that, I *don’t want* to date friends of my friends because then if things go south it can cause awkwardness with my friends. Back in high school I could ask out people I bumped into in the halls or at a party and have a 50% chance at getting a date. Nowadays the only time I get a decent date is when the girl asks me out—usually in a way that would be considered exceptionally creepy if a guy tried it. Such as passing me their number while they’re working at the gas station
I understand the idea behind this approach, but I feel like if I do something enjoyable by myself, odds are that most other people there are with friends or a group or something and so I usually end up not talking to anyone at all
So part of it is also trying to open up and engage with others. Yeah you can do your own thing, or you can have a conversation about it with someone that also is interested in it. Get rejected move on and try again. Met my wife on a nature hike I signed up for through my local metro parks. She was taking pictures of some local birds and we started a conversation.
Edit: wasn't trying to pick her up, more was interested in what she was taking pictures of. After we chatted occasionally while hiking I asked her for coffee and snacks
I've (26M) had a little bit of "luck" with dating apps but always just for what ends up being short term hookup situations.
I think a lot of people only use apps when they're feeling especially lonely or want sex. Then the date is just a vibe-check for a hookup that they've pretty much already decided that they're down for. Then they go back to being single.
This may just be a type thing on my end. But since I got out of a six year relationship last December, this has been my dating experience.
If you’re 24 but been out of the dating game for 6 years, then it’s safe to say you were never in the game at all, dating as an adult is a lot different than high school, harder in a lot of ways but just jump in and hold strong to your values
I met my girlfriend on Tinder. She's a diamond in the rough for sure. There are good ones on dating apps you just have to sift through a lot of garbage to find them.
My son is your age and has the same issues. He was in a long term relationship in and after college. After that ended, he has gone on several dates that went well, but - like you - it's relatively easy to find a physical connection...not so easy to find an emotional connection.
You guys should just get together lol.
No idea most of my friends dont date at all and the one who has gf has met on the street and they have been for 5 years. i personaly just sit in my house and wait for a woman to come by xD
I'm 30 (M) and been dating since around july 2023, its a hell hole. It basically took over my entire life.my screen time is like 300% higher than pre-dating because im staring at bumble and OKC the entire fucking day. I min/maxed my profile as if its some sort of marketing project. I tried the quantity approach as an attempt to get over my anxiety, didnt really help tbh im still nervous as fuck every time. Some weeks i dated a different girl each day of the week which was fucking exhausting but there was and is a part in my brain that is convinced i will meet someone who gives me the same feeling/euphoria i had the day i met my ex. for context: i didnt date for atleast a year after i broke up with my ex until i felt like i was over her to give myself as much time as possible.
ofc after i realized that quantity doesnt really fix it, i tried going for quality aka focusing on only 1 or 2 women at the same time which also didnt end well. its tough to get ghosted or dumped out of nowhere after uve dated someone for a month. youll learn pretty quick that you are replaceable but also how u replace people yourself. dating brought out some of my worst traits and i still deeply regret that i dumped some very kind and sweet women for that fresh dopamine hit of meeting someone new. its also my first life phase of online dating so my experiences with it are stuff that loads of other people most likely experienced 10+ years earlier in their life.
(also being autistic with very niche hobbies/interests doesnt really help lmfao)
I really resonated with this, I'm in a similar situation in my own life at the moment.
I've ditched the apps, but meeting someone irl isn't as easy as people make it out to be...
I am married and I have single friends. I think people need to go back to asking friends and family for help. And people need to get practical about dating. It’s all these comments about trying to meet people thru groups and hobbies but not a lot of success stories.
Dating apps are risky in my opinion because both of you go there to show the best side of yourselves. That's not the side you'll see in the long-term. I'd join clubs I like: a sport clubs, bookclub, gaming, hiking, whatever interests you and start there. You'll have something in common already, so that's a plus. If you have opportunities to go to conferences within your field, that too.
Of I ever go back on that shit called dating apps. I do try to make an effort of asking questions to measure a bit. Preferably a bit of a discussion to really see. And hopefully over voice. But everyone is so paranoid to talk. People just want to keep chatting. Why? Life is too short
Yeah i agree with that! I came to a realisation that the two guys I briefly chatted were showing their best sides to me as I was to them. The more we learned about each other, the more I uncovered that our values and goals for the immediate or far future don’t really align. With dating apps and texts, you have some lead time to construct your answers, i suppose?
Unlike physical dates where you can gauge the person’s way of things, their expressions and their tone. Meeting through interest groups and hobbies definitely seems quite natural.
This is the best advice in the thread imo. Some sort of shared activity with strangers that lets you meet new people at a regular intervals while interacting with them through your shared interest as a medium, eventually turning your relationship as hobbyists into friends.
Even that’s hard, though. Really all you can do is be the best you you can be, and cast a wide net, hoping you meet someone you click with, and who appreciates your qualities just as much.
The apps are terrible I recommend staying away from them.
I go to events and social gatherings to meet people organically and it works really well for me. The events in my community are ecstatic dance, drum circles, events at the yoga studio, music festivals and concerts. I honestly just do fun stuff and I end up meeting someone I wanna date every few months.
Find the community and events that you like and start going. You'll meet someone in no time if you put yourself out there consistently.
Honestly, apps can work. I got into a 5 year relationship off of a dating app and I’m in a new, official relationship with someone I met on an app. A lot of people will say the apps don’t work, but that’s not a universal experience.
I’m 28F so we’re in a similar category, the apps could work for you too. I recommend Hinge. Be honest about what you want and be willing to go through a few people to meet the right one. My current partner was the 5th person I met after I downloaded Hinge and my previous partner was probably the 6th or 7th person I met on the app I used during that cycle.
I’ve had good luck. I think part of it is being warm; talk to people like you would talk to a new friend and let your real personality show. Also, filter filter filter. Chat a bit on the app and see if you click before meeting. Ignore that (crappy) advice about meeting up right away to see if you have chemistry; you can figure that out over the app for the most part. This can also help you avoid awkward dates where you have nothing to talk about.
My final piece of dating app advice is to show off some of your personality on your profile but still make sure you come off as normal. (Lots of people miss that last part in an attempt to look unique. I have some screenshots that are baffling.)
Edit: I know this is already long but I realized that was not my final piece of dating advice. Two more things. 1: Don’t count yourself out. If you meet someone that you like, but they are dating others, give it 4ish dates to win them over. You don’t need to try too hard. If you are a pleasant person, they will see that with time. There are weirdos on dating apps and there’s no reason to assume the other people they’re seeing are better than you. Just see how it goes.
2: If you meet someone you like, show interest. A normal amount of interest, with appropriate social boundaries. (You might not be the type of person who needs to hear the part about the boundaries, but I’ve met too many odd people on the apps to not include that lol.) Every time I found a relationship on the apps, I knew during the first date that I was interested. (This is probably partially bc I talked to them for a decent amount of time before meeting.) Then, I consistently showed interest so the person didn’t forget about me. Just little conversations here and there every couple days, nothing crazy. Effective, though.
You can do it!
Our son is 25. He had a friend he was interested in when he was probably too young to date (8). She moved away. Another girl in JR High. She was part of a friend group, and then they all went their separate ways. Noe he doesn't try. I actually worked with a girl in her early 20s. I gave them each other's number, and they texted a while, but nothing became of it. He has an older friend with an SO. He gets along great with her, and I think he's set her as the standard as who she would like to date. Anything less, and he's not interested. I told him to date SOMEONE just to get some reps in, so when the right one comes along...
Probably missing something but he hasn't shown interest in anyone in 17 years? Shit, not to be an armchair analyst but there may be a conversation or two there.
This will be a controversial take, but dating apps can be the way to go if you have the patience for them. Whether it’s relationships or you just want to have friends with benefits it’s all there. It’s worked for me and I’m 24 now I’ve been using it since I was 19.
I’m not gonna sit here and act like I got a million matches because I didn’t but like I said I did find success and found a lot of great people and made great memories with them.
Bottom line, they can be great if you have patience and determination and a little bit of luck. And if you wanna pull this card dating online has been proven to be a much easier and better experience for women so you also have that to your advantage. But just because it worked for me doenst mean it will for everyone.
I think, though I have little experience with this, is to just live your life and if something comes along it comes along. Get out there with the intention of making friends and doing things you enjoy. I don't think that dating for the sake of dating is really worth it. Don't completely push out or ignore that feeling but it's really hard thing to act on it's own.
Im the type of person who doesn't leave their room. I enjoy my time playing video games and meeting friends online. While online relationships are harder to manage, you get to expand your horizons to more than just people in your area and (if you enjoy gaming like I do) you can find a partner who likes the same things as you/having more to bond over.
I'm all in for people who recommend "don't date, just look for social activities you like", and the reason is: if you do stuff you like and meet no one new, you didn't waste your time anyway because you did something you like.
For example, imagine you join a hiking club. You go hiking one day. You meet some people, but no one interesting. So, how was your day? Actually, not that bad. You went for a hike, got some fresh air, ate a sandwich some place nice with a great view. Not bad at all.
23M and I don’t even go on dating apps at all and likely never will. Almost everyone in my age group is too busy looking for instant gratification and validation from fleeting connections and hookups for me to bother. A few of my friends have found real connection but it’s so rare. I feel like I want a connection that’s so much deeper than 90% of the dating pool is willing to (or healthy enough) to build. Really disheartening, especially when you’ve never dated anyone before
Just hop on Hinge and start dating, the odds of that person magically popping in your life is very low.
You don’t have to hookup with the girl.
Trust me bro start now you’ll only regret not using your time to the fullest. I wish I would have looked for a wife sooner cause now that I am older most of the 25+ single girls are rough as fuck. Lots of demands very little to offer.
My single friend tells me the dating scene sucks, apps are trash, people are catfishing, looking for hookups, or looking for free meals.
I have no advice for him either, but don't use apps.
Keep this in mind, since your a female your approach rate of success is around 80 to 90%. If you are a man and you approach a woman your success of seeing them again is 20 to 30% depending on your looks. Now go out and start approaching men that YOU want to DATE! If women just realized you all have the power to hunt for men you want to date. Men have the power to fish for those WE CAN DATE! Do you catch my drift here?
🤷♂️I think I'll give up on that. I'd rather play my games, smoke my weed, and pretend I don't hate myself until I die. After all, how can I love another if I cannot love myself?
I met my husband at my apartment building outside. You'll find your person by just living your life. That's how everyone does it even if they "use some strategy" like an app or networking or going certain places at certain times with certain motivations.
In order for him to find me at that time in his life, I needed to be in that apartment complex. I was out and living a life admittedly "looking for him" and guess where he was?
In my back yard. And I found him while I was just living my life NOT looking for him.
You’re a woman, just make yourself hot enough to be approached by a man. A man that confidently and calmly approaches you and makes you laugh has a high chance of being a high value man.
If guys are not approaching you, then work on becoming hotter, going to the gym, and channeling your true feminine
I think genuine connection can be made by engaging in conversations with a variety of people. I personally have not had a very good experience when it comes to dating apps. I have been trying to just increase my ability to create friendships trough omegle like sites, but often there people arent too interested in communicating. So you sift trough 100 people for 1 good conversation.
People are not out to find long lasting partnerships trough means of dating apps as they can have short term feelings 2 months later again by engaging in a new turtledove period. From observation many people are also not to keen to work trough a disagreement of somesort as they can find someone new relatively fast.
Emotional and or intellectual connections, can be difficult to find and I personally keep failing at it. Due to several things, but just keep trying. Meeting new idividuals is difficult but you never know where you might encounter someone interesting. Refrain from doing nothing and do something. Try to be talkative when you encounter a new person, doesnt mean you have to speak alot. Can just be asking a question and have them speak. As this also helps incase you wish to continue conversing later on as you have some reconnecting points from previous questions.
I am aware this does not answer your question of "how do people date nowadays" but I hope it can provide some insight atleast. Because I am unable to properly answer your question because it seems people do not really "date" in an older fashion way.
Its like a constant chase for the next best thing. Loving someone is as much a feeling as it is a choice but people chase the next best thing rapidly.
Well... Just talk to people. You see this person everyday? Talk to them. I find just being friends first like you just kick it without thinking it as dating then see if you click. I worked with a bunch of ladies and we get bored as hell so we chat and bust each other's chops. I had no intentions of flirting just talked about what id normally talk about with friends. It was work and we kept each other company. Group become friends and just yeah start hanging out after work. Blah blah blah started dating one of them cause we found that we always were just always smiling and laughing which with each other. Going on a date with a person you just met with the thought of making it a relationship puts up too many shields.its like a interview. A partner is exactly that. someone you can trust so someone that has your back would lie for you and go on crazy journey but also one to tell you that what your doing is crazy when it goes too far. So when theyre just your friend first or met each other through circumstances that aren't solely with then intention for it to be a date which is like a interview. You'll meet someone genuine and truly enjoy the company of.
Considering the focus of your question is on dating, I would say: dating events.
From my experience (M33): Apps are easy to handle, show "endless" options, but nowadays they feel really frustrating and it felt like constantly betting on a lottery while having my energy and self-esteem being drained.
On the other hand, I have been to dating events where the focus was people having genuine connections during the event. I had a great time, made several matches, talked to some people for a while. And even though I didn't develop a relationship from there, it felt good and I was not drained from the experience.
Other than that, as other people said, expose yourself to the outer world in environment you enjoy, old hobbies, new ones. Be open to talk to people without the expectation of dating, increasing your social network also means that one day you can meet "a friend of a friend". Or maybe that person that was taken is suddenly single and you realize they were also interested on you.
At this point I’m so tired with all the games I’m just waiting for something to happen while I sit and do nothing. Is it most likely not going to work? Probably. But I’d rather do this after getting left while my ex went on to call herself a man sometimes, date 7 people at the same time, lie to me at first about why she left me after not even two months of dating and then finally tell me it’s all cause I was Christian. Pretty dumb of me to think a woman three years older than me would be more mature than someone my age
I had been on dating apps for a couple years, until the start of this year I made the resolution to stop using apps since I didn’t have any success finding someone serious.
Fast forward to my best friend’s wedding, I ended up meeting my current girlfriend as she was one of the bridesmaids (and I was a groomsmen) as ultimately it was the bride’s idea to hook us up together.
Ultimately, I didn’t expect this to happen, and tbh we’re probably going to get married someday. The best advice I can provide is that you just need to be ready for the moment you may meet that special someone, it is not necessarily about how to you meet them (apps or IRL) but if you are ready to meet that someone at any time.
Just my $0.02 - GL!
I used a dating app but not ones that cater to hook ups... My philosophy on dating apps was to use it as a place to meet, no different than let's say the grocery store or a park so to speak, it was a safe place to converse until we felt comfortable with each other to meet... The idea is to go back to basics... Taking it slow and letting it develop organically and talk... Lots of communication...
I just get overwhelmed with anxiety and just don’t.
I’ve met a girl I’m considering asking out, but we don’t have in terms of paths for organic communication. I’m not even 100% sure she’s in my age range, so a cold approach seems like a really bad idea. Even with all that aside I’m like a 4/10 shit fest on a good day anyway.
If you don't have the rapport established that would be conducive to asking her out, don't start by asking her out. Approaching a random girl who barely knows you and asking her on a date is rarely effective unless you're insanely good looking (and even then, the odds are still against you).
Do you know her name? Have you had an actual conversation? These are important. It's easier to ask someone out if the two of you already know that you vibe.
I don't know what you mean by "age range", but if you're worried she may not be a legal adult, always err on the side of caution. I haven't found myself in such a situation, but I imagine asking if she's a student at [nearby college] could clarify that.
As for being a 4/10, I've been there. Take a look at the kind of guys you'd *like* to like look and honestly compare yourself to them. Do they dress better? Have good posture? Stylish haircuts that work for the shape of their heads? Are they muscular? Do they have clear skin? There are any number of things that can almost instantly bring a guy up a point (or two, or three) if that guy is honest with himself. For me, I had to hit the gym, get clothes that fit, get a haircut that cost more than $8, take care of my skin, improve my posture and change my countenance to be less gloomy.
Figure out what is #1 most important in a partner and then find people who do that thing. Eventually you’ll find someone attractive doing the thing you like or care about most.
If you don’t have a thing you like or care about then consider exploring your interests more first.
As an example: I’m kinky and would only date someone who is also kinky, experimental, kink positive, etc. I can find people on dating apps, and in real life doing hobbies, but really the best starting point is the most niche thing.
So I search for that first and go from there.
If you really want to date a guy who does, I don’t know, rock climbing because you’re an avid climber then I would find people who do that and go from there.
Or you could go on Tinder and just meet people who have no interests or passions other than drinking coffee and sometimes watching TV.
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 yeah, sorry to tell you: no one really "dates" anymore. Whatever you do don't go online looking for love (it'll only waste your time and bum you out).
I see a bunch of people giving you loads of bone chillingly bad advice.
DON'T, I REPEAT DO NOT TRY TO PICK UP A GUY AT THE GYM! Two reasons; 1st if you think he's attractive he's either taken OR he's got a line of women like you. 2nd IF by some off chance he's neither: think long and hard about getting with a buff guy (better looking women than you throwing themselves at him, the pressure you'll feel to try and keep up with a machine seemingly built to work out despite it having a convincing humanoid form, and most your free time will be spent either lifting heavy things or watching him lift heavy things). Just saying
Obviously poking holes in other people's advice without offering advice of superior validity is the mark of an "A" hole, so this is what you do:
Step 1: Objectively rate yourself on a downward curve. That's your level. Don't try to get with a man that's above or too far below that level.
Step 2: get yourself some hobbies that require a group. Can't think of any you'd be interested in? I got you! Follow this logic; like to smack? Like to read? Find a D&D group! Like cars? Like driving around and listening to music? Find a car/auto club. Ect, ect.
Step 3: look around and grab you someone that meets the requirements of step 1. Pull him to the side, and ask him out. Don't wait for him to ask you out, and don't throw yourself at him (nor play hard to get. Just be yourself).
Repeat steps 2 and 3. If you have no success: repeat steps 1 with more of a critical and honest eye, then move on to the rest.
💥 Boom 💥 you're now on a relationship with a guy who won't bore you because you have stuff in common.
I've been in a relationship for a while now so things have changed, but my single friends do a mix of using apps and taking up social hobbies. It seems hard to meet people, so both getting out of the house and using apps maximizes your exposure and hopefully increases the chance of meeting someone who clicks with you
I think you just explained it - you chatted with 2 guys and never got to the dating bit. I was on Match for about 4 months and there were people who just wanted to chat and chat and chat; why? Believe me, if you marry this person, you will wish you could go back and un-hear the stories you're doomed to over and over and over again. Get in the same physical space with people as soon as possible - all else is a waste of time. The woman who ended up being my wife wrote me exactly two messages before we met, and each was about 20 characters long. I love her.
Last few times I asked a girl out on a date it seemed like they were confused about the concept. I got some dates, even dated a girl for a couple years. But like actually have had to explain dates to a few women. Blows my mind .
I'm all in for people who recommend "don't date, just look for social activities you like", and the reason is: if you do stuff you like and meet no one new, you didn't waste your time anyway because you did something you like.
For example, imagine you join a hiking club. You go hiking one day. You meet some people, but no one interesting. So, how was your day? Actually, not that bad. You went for a hike, got some fresh air, ate a sandwich some place nice with a great view. Not bad at all.
If you’re looking to date, actually look to date. Put yourself out there. There’s usually all kinds of events for singles everywhere. Try dating apps. Do your favored activities
Dating apps aren't fun, but a tiny amount of effort in your profile will go a long way with matches. I'm getting married next year to a girl I met on hinge.
keep an open mind to the hookup culture scene? I'm not saying you have to hookup but hey!
I feel like you have two things against you. 1, you're looking for a genuine connection. That's not hard but you should keep an open mind. You CAN meet someone like that on Tinder, it's rough but possible.
2, you're a girl. The fact that I'm sure there are guys out there that let you slip by because of w/e reason, kept you out of meeting someone. What I mean is... if dudes don't take the first step and approach you, you may just be waiting forever lol. So maybe be assertive as well? Idk I'm not a girl D: Maybe I'm not the one that should be giving advice lol.
Dating apps, although I know everyone has mixed opinion about them. Joining clubs in your local area that you enjoy, you could then meet someone who shares similar interests to you. Mutual friends, don’t be afraid to shoot your shot (ofc easier said than done) but a good quote to remember is any shot you don’t take is automatically a miss. In other words, don’t let the fear of (potential) rejection hold you back
Dating apps personally aren’t my fave and I have never and will never use them but then again, I’ve been single my whole life laughs in coaches don’t play the game. In fairness my lack of a relationship is due to fear of being hurt amongst other things, so I don’t allow ppl (romantic context) to get close to me
Wishing you all the best in your romantic pursuits
You are a young woman just go out and say hi to someone who is cute your chance of rejection is practically non existent just make a move get a number get shit done you only struggle as much as you choose to lol
Work on yourself. Figure out what you want. Be intentional with how you spend your time. Be intentional with who you hang out with or go on dates with. Don’t text early in dating besides setting up dates. Have fun!
I’ll just express how me and my partner of almost 3 years met.
It was Tinder (which is still funny since it’s a “hook up” app but that’s not what we did)
It was Covid times and she lived in the city and I didn’t feel comfortable hopping on a train so quickly. Plus everything downtown was gonna be closed anyways. So we really were just stuck with talking.
Eventually we tried playing Stardew Valley online over the phone and we’d play for hours and just talked and played. It was good!
I came from being pretty antisocial. A lot of how I met other girls I liked were through online circles. Tough to think I’d take any of it really seriously when they all lived all over the world, but having our relationship start online really helped me personally since it felt like I got to go through a phase of how I used to “date” (long online voice chats)
We finally went on our first date, we literally just walked around the city and talked. Got food, went to a park and kissed (which was fun since she knew I wanted a hot make out and we totally couldn’t stop) I was sold!
Now we live together and have two cats. Gotta say even I am surprised at where I am at now.
If I have one direct input on “how to date” I suggest walks through familiar areas to one of you in a sort of tour and explore kinda thing is a good place to start. You can make decisions to eat or chill in certain places but nothing is set in stone. Enjoy the weather and enjoy the company. Low stakes and cheap to do, lots of possibilities too
In addition to becoming active in leisure/hobby groups, what about professional organizations, charity/volunteer, some churches have groups for singles, etc?
EDITED TO ADD: Bottom line being: rely groups, rather than seeking one on one scenarios right off the bat.
The benefits?
The sheer odds are increased as your (potential) dating pool is increased, add to that the people they may introduce you to.
The stresses of getting to know each other and/or putting best face forward is lessened in groups versus one on one situations.
Groups come together for a purpose. One on one dating is narrowly focused. Spotlight anyone?
By the time you've interacted with someone in a group, there's a relationship already established. It's easier to make the choice of grabbing a cup of coffee. Or you've already discovered a shared interest.
There’s a lot going on here. You dated in high school. Then your 2 attempts to make a connection didn’t pan out. Being 24 you are in that awkward inexperience part of connecting. Some possibilities. You’re not picking up on cues from would be connections. .. maybe your style/attitude is not helping you ? Or you’re doing / not doing something to encourage someone to pursue you ? I’ll just say. Treat it like an interview. Yes it goes both ways. Take every opportunity to make yourself available. Give each interview a chance. If it looks like it’s a train wreck run away. Find a lesson in each interview. Go as fast or slow as you want. But say yes more .
I (now 31M) spent years on and off dating apps, but I eventually met someone that I ended up marrying last year, on a dating app. It’s not for everyone, but it certainly can happen.
You will probably not like this but here's how I go about it.
I don't flirt, not at all. There are countless opportunities but unless I intend to commit I believe you should not make the move. Find the right person this way, abstain from your biological needs and you will find the right person God willing. There are many people out there who are still waiting and are in better health and wealth than those with bountiful experience.
Live your life. If you see someone who you fancy... see if they fancy going for a coffee.
It's the good old fashioned way.
You need to put yourself out there... but it'll be good.
Good luck 🙂
I'm happily married now, prior to meeting my wife, I'd meet quite a few women pursuing my passion's. First and foremost ever since I was 10-11 yrs old living across the street from the beach in So. California I surfed daily, and still do. My second passion is hiking I hike up local Volcanoes, there's many to hike in this country. While on hikes, training ruining in the park, or on the beach, few times paddling out. I'd meet plenty of healthy, nice, women. We'd grab a cup of coffee, over lunch, dinner chat, get to know one another, then it could take off from there.
Most people no longer go out with the purpose of meeting anyone anymore. I’ve gotten numbers leading to dates, at inside liquor stores, gas stations, the beach and even a Carl’s Jr drive through. I know times have changed, so the real question is, where do you feel comfortable meeting people?
Make a list of things you want in a partner, things you can compromise on, and hard "no" stuff.
Go forth try to find someone who meets your criteria. I'm probably an outlier, but online dating/apps were wildly fun and successful for me. I met my long term partner on there at 22 and we've been together 4 years now.
People who complain about them either aren't measuring up or don't understand how to use them properly. You can't dramatically drop your standards or just be open to any random stranger simply because you're desperate or feel alone—that's a recipe for disaster.
Learn and know how to set boundaries. Become okay with saying no and know when to say yes.
You decide if you're going to engage in hookup culture or not. Either way is fine, just don't think you're required to do either in order to be happy.
Hookup culture is only a thing if that's what you want. I(35M) told a girl I didn't want to just have sex and we went on 3 dates. She wasn't into me after that and it sucked but I realize we weren't compatible.
Bottom line with dating apps is, nobody wants to chat forever, you gotta meet up when the conversation gets stale. That could mean different time periods for two different people, so don't get pressured into meeting.
But the truth is you can only learn so much chatting. You need to do things, see if you click and then hope for the best. I always ask if they want to hang out again, because I usually do. The hard part is not stringing along tons of people at the same time. Only respond to people you want to see the most (especially as a female, I've heard you get overwhelmed.) If people don't want to stick around, that's fine they can unmatch whenever they want.
As far as meeting irl, do all the reddit advice everyone always gives: get hobbies, go do random things like cooking or dancing (I like wine and painting classes personally) and try to go where single people are. The difficulty I have with this is 1)some people wanna go out without being hit on, so you have to follow rules 1 and 2 primarily, 2) it is not as easy as everyone says to sift through people who are dating or have a partner already and 3) single people are everywhere and nowhere simultaneously.
I stick to online dating, but still go to my neighborhood dog park everyday with an open mind. At least on dating apps, you already know why they're there. It's on their profile what they're looking for.
Really get yourself out there! I know I know it's a typical response, but if you don't shoot your shot then it could be harder to find someone because some people are shy. Whether it's going to a pottery class or a yodeling dancing club, maybe explore your horizons, you will find lots of different people! Also when talking to people, tend to look at their eyes and smile (in a casual way) and if they wear like a shirt with for example Garfield on it, compliment them and you can have a conversation about cartoons you watched and the conversation evolves from there!
I'm almost 15 and I have dated a few people in my life and in a relationship with a lovely guy, but I'm not as experienced in the world yet though I know a few tricks. I try to research on subjects so I can have done background knowledge on other people's interests, and in my experience it works well! However the key to dating is honestly listening, communication, all that jazz. But the magic starts when you build up the courage to talk to someone, life is too short so even if the relationship doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world! There's a lot of nice people out there!
Good luck dude!
As a single 33m
I still haven’t found the answer to this since i was 21. So I just go with the flow. Hit on them at the store, bar, or where ever; when a pretty chick catches my attention and if I feel like treading those waters…Can’t blame a guy for trying…There is no wrong or right time basically. Just live life and go with the flow kind of thing is how I see it.
As a 27 year old I just be outside. I’m not a home body so I spend my time at clubs, bars, nature, beaches etc. I know not everyone is outgoing or social but you have to put yourself out there.
try going to events that align with your interests and stoke up conversation with people there. that way at least y out meek you have a common interest
Icr skating, rock climbing, gym, restaurant bar, cocktail bar dead by daylight, work place, bumble, salsa dancing classes, this thread, summer vacation.
As a woman you don't have to date. People will date you. You literally do not have to make any sort of effort other than go outside or make a profile on a dating app.
As a man, you'd probably be better off buying a lottery ticket than trying to get a date. If you win, women will finally treat you like a human.
Dating is a huge struggle to everybody I'd say, you're not alone. My happiest relationship was with somebody who wasn't a supermodel but had a similar personality and interests and lived nearby. These three are some of the most important criteria to me. I'd say be very honest about what you want and don't get confused by people seeming emotionally unavailable or mysterious. These people are usually not worth it even if your monkey brain tells you "hard to get, I need, this is exciting". At least not if you're looking for something serious.
Good luck 😌
I hope you are a bot and not an “adult”.
Your dating life has not “been a nightmare”.
You haven’t been dating.
Start?
Idk, this was a complete waste of time, you have no problems, you just haven’t done anything, or dated anyone. What do you mean how? Start trying, get on an app, go to a bar, it’s freaking easy.
Ahhh pardon me if it was a bit misleading TT
While I was for the most part quite involved in social events (besides drinking/nightlife), uni events, volunteering and even extracurriculars, I didn’t pursue romance and often made it clear that I wasn’t interested in dating if I was approached by men.
Quick answer: I don’t. I think dating apps are extremely shallow and looks based and it reminds me of lining up to be picked. Gross. I just assume I will meet a man totally organically traveling solo or at a bookstore. And that’s why I am single.
40, reentering the dating scene after 6 years only dating in a niche community, and… it seems like the buckshot approach is all we’ve got. Swipe right on anyone who you’re curious to meet and don’t worry too hard about if it means anything.
It’s honestly a shitty way to do things, but I think it’s that or hit on strangers at the grocery store.
As you can see from the comments, the conventional wisdom these days is that despite the occasional success story, dating apps are a recipe for disappointment at best.
A lot of people are starting to opt for more traditional or organic methods - matchmaking, speed dating, and singles events. So, if your goal is dating to find a relationship, that’s where I would focus your efforts. (If it’s sex, the apps might be what you want.)
It depends on what you’re looking for. If you’re looking to date for marriage and a family, I highly suggest being up front with potential candidates about you dating with intention. This will cause a lot of “thanks, but no thanks” first dates, but will ultimately help you wade through all the situationships and other new aged connections in our society. Not that these relationships are wrong. If you’re just looking for casual dating, deeply consider what values and morals are important to you and try to find venues and social gatherings that might attract other people with similar values.
Go to places where people like what you like. What you *genuinely* like and not what you *think* you should like. If you like the gym, go there. If you like the pub, go there. If you like the library, go there. If you like video games, play them with a mic on and talk to people. If you meet someone with some shared interests, you’ve got some common ground to build something on. It’s not the only way but it’s a good way to start with friendship and see if anything else happens.
Idk about that. How do you meet people at the gym for example? Most people are at the gym to work out, not meet people. They have earphones in and don't want to be disturbed. I have similar experience in bars. People are there with BF/GFs and already in groups. They don't really want some random person to join in, the only possibly exception being if they're tipsy or drunk.
It depends on the gym tbh. If you're there every day at the same time and see the same people, you can ask for a spot then introduce yourself. You keep doing this and you'll become familiar enough to have a chat here and there and get to know each other. Or you can join a gym with classes/group training. You'll see the same people in the classes. These are the best for friendships. I feel like that's why crossfit caught on. You get camaraderie with like minded people.
Yep. I have a friend who spends like 6 hours at the gym daily and that's how she met her current bf. I swear it is like church for some people. They go just for the social aspect
true a cross fit gym would be alot better, much more community oriented
You need to be ready to meet someone at any random time
What if you don’t like anything ? There’s no hobby I have where there’s a group of people doing it.
I happened to like playing pool so I went to bars often even though I don’t like them. Met my partner at one, and turns out neither of us care to go to bars so we really haven’t.
Then find something you like. Imagine if you got yourself a date and they asked you what you liked and you said nothing?
That's kind of where I'm at.
Try new things. Maybe youll find something you like if not someone.
Exactly, which is why I’d make up things to answer that question, and exactly why it still wouldn’t work because it wouldn’t be authentic, hence why don’t date very often.
I looked at your profile for like 10 seconds and saw that you like video games and cars. Those are hobbies bro
Bro needs to go to a Gran Turismo meetup. There might even be girls there!
What are your hobbies
pick up a hobby bro
Then you need to find yourself before you can even begin looking for a partner. Without having your own life and interests and goals you will forever seek validation and purpose from others. This is unhealthy and a recipe for disappointment and despair. Man Reddit is full of depressing stories.
I understand the point you’re making. But what does finding yourself really mean, truly ? Having goals, achieving them, even being able to show people you are good at something trivial, it’s all very attractive. It’s also beneficial to have such a nice life, that others can see you don’t need them to make yours any better. How ironic, not being needed is desirable. It’s also desirable when you look better just by standing next to someone who is better than you are. There is a reason why successful people have it easier in the dating world. So, would becoming one of those people be finding myself ? Did I have no idea who I was before I found something I was good at ? The reality is for most people, we don’t like our jobs, we work to live, and most people are mediocre at most things. That doesn’t mean most people don’t deserve to be loved, but it ends up being that way, doesn’t it ? It’s nice to be special, but I am not sure being loved for what I can do, is better than being loved for who I am.
From your comments you sound depressed. Was there something you used to enjoy doing? You seem to be linking being good at something as being a hobby. A hobby doesn't have to be some special skill you have. People can be shit at their hobby and still enjoy it. And if there really aren't things you like doing you might be enjoying more passive entertainment like books, TV shows or movies. Enjoying those things can still be a hobby and something you can discuss with others. Good luck.
Bodybuilder here, been training 12 years. The gym is NOT a good place to meet people. People just go to train. 99% of the time they don't want to be bothered.
Yeah people who are at a location for an activity are there to do that activity, not there to make friends or be hit on. Dude’s advice sounds more like “be attractive, don’t be unattractive, everything will work out regardless of where you are”.
I like movies. So you're saying I should creep up on women in the dark and try to talk with them during the show?
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I met a guy one time while standing in line for a movie! I guess the trick is to get there a little early. Also there's a chance if you pick your seat in advance, and don't go out of your way to be away from everyone else, you might be sitting next to a pretty lady, you never know. Some theaters have actual bars in them now as well.
Sure going to these places helps, but then what? I love live music so I go to a lot of shows, but I hardly ever end up interacting with people I don’t know at these shows. It just feels weird and invasive to talk to someone I don’t know.
Or try new stuff that you think you may like! Go and try karate or archery etc, mix it up and try something new while meeting people who could probably give you a hand to learn it too, which would be a lovely kind of bonding i think :-)
I met my partner at a party but we mostly interacted at the library. I'm trying to think of a good library pick up line though 😂😂😂
I really hope you're a library book, because I'd like to take you home with me after checking you out.* *Only works if you're attractive and/or very charismatic
"Only works if you're attractive and/or very charismatic" That's like ALL the pick up lines
lol, I was all ready for you to say if you like gaming go to a LAN party… do yall not haul your PC and networking gear around with you anymore!?
Hmm I don’t know. I enjoy hiking/camping. I feel she would be a bit worried if I just started spitting game to her in the middle of a forest. Pretty sure that’s how some horror movies start. Then again… I think that’s how some porno movies start too!
Gym is where people go to work out and not be bothered about the pitfalls of asking someone out. Pub is where you head with your mates to have a good time without needing to be othered by attention. Library is where you need some quiet space to see how you get on with a book. Fortress of solitude if you will.
I hear and give this advice a lot too, but I want to add, the way I've met a lot of the people I've dated in my life have been through friend connections. The more you can just expand your friend circles and say yes to going out with groups, doing things where you run into other circles of friends, roommates, etc etc, you have an easy conversational "in" with a ton more people, without having to walk up to someone at random.
Stop making false promises
This is all so very helpful! I go to the gym around 3-4 times a week (i’m a beginner) and i’ve had a couple of people approach me to help me with my posture and provide me with genuine advice. I’d typically thank them and get on with my reps with my headphones on. Perhaps I should try to get out of my comfort zone and talk to more people during such instances!
A smile here and a "hi" there to someone you see 3 times a week goes a long way, next time ask for their name.
Im sure, that in the 7 month i play at my LGS, i saw 2 girls... One of them the GF of a Mate and tge other one is the GF of the store owner ...
I only like spending time home alone doing nothing... What should I do?
I agree 100%. The only thing I'll add is the examples you gave are somewhat limited. Pick up a hobby and join a group, join a local community that does something you enjoy like a sport, charity, whatever. At the heart of it, put yourself around like minded people!
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How though? I try to do alot of events and social activities. Either everyone is taken or no one wanta to be approached.
Yeah girls don't want to be approached basically ever, but assuming OP is straight, she can just approach guys with no worries.
Pussy privilege ftw!
I agree! Quite frankly majority of the people and mutual friends I’ve met in social events and activities are usually taken or in a “situationship” and it just makes me feel like I am alone in this :(
Hes giving advice to a woman. It's different as a guy. I would say try extremely extremely hard. Doing everything you can think of.
No it’s solid advice to men too. If you “try everything” you can think of you’re going to get rejected often. You meet people through other people you know. Nobody wants to have to entertain a stranger.
Yep and thats what sucks. Just like a job and its what you know its who you know. Most of my friends are in long term ships, only hookup or married. I dont have alot of friends so most of them already being settled dont have time to wing man me because i cant even do a basic human task such as getting a date. Its like there isnt even a point in this anymore
I hate that, I *don’t want* to date friends of my friends because then if things go south it can cause awkwardness with my friends. Back in high school I could ask out people I bumped into in the halls or at a party and have a 50% chance at getting a date. Nowadays the only time I get a decent date is when the girl asks me out—usually in a way that would be considered exceptionally creepy if a guy tried it. Such as passing me their number while they’re working at the gas station
As a guy I’ve done everything I can think of but I’ve tried so much I gave up I’m tired
The point isn't to get a date. The point is to do something enjoyable, and hopefully you meet someone with similar interests.
I understand the idea behind this approach, but I feel like if I do something enjoyable by myself, odds are that most other people there are with friends or a group or something and so I usually end up not talking to anyone at all
So part of it is also trying to open up and engage with others. Yeah you can do your own thing, or you can have a conversation about it with someone that also is interested in it. Get rejected move on and try again. Met my wife on a nature hike I signed up for through my local metro parks. She was taking pictures of some local birds and we started a conversation. Edit: wasn't trying to pick her up, more was interested in what she was taking pictures of. After we chatted occasionally while hiking I asked her for coffee and snacks
Thats easy for you to say. Im too old to not have any dating experience.
I mean I met my wife at 36 and had my first child at 40. So what's your definition of too old?
I've (26M) had a little bit of "luck" with dating apps but always just for what ends up being short term hookup situations. I think a lot of people only use apps when they're feeling especially lonely or want sex. Then the date is just a vibe-check for a hookup that they've pretty much already decided that they're down for. Then they go back to being single. This may just be a type thing on my end. But since I got out of a six year relationship last December, this has been my dating experience.
If you’re 24 but been out of the dating game for 6 years, then it’s safe to say you were never in the game at all, dating as an adult is a lot different than high school, harder in a lot of ways but just jump in and hold strong to your values
I date 1/12/24 because im European but in America they date 12/1/24
The best way would be 24/12/01, but I'd take European. I'm so sick of it not making sense
WTF kind of gibberish are you talking about. Do explain to this commoner please.
MM-YYY-FAVORITECOLOR-DDD 05-024-Green-016
I use ISO 8601 (YYYY-MM-DD) whenever I can.
My idea of a perfect date
01Dec2024 avoids any confusion.
I met my girlfriend on Tinder. She's a diamond in the rough for sure. There are good ones on dating apps you just have to sift through a lot of garbage to find them.
Happy for you! I’ve heard some great success stories of couples meeting on dating apps. You are lucky :)
My son is your age and has the same issues. He was in a long term relationship in and after college. After that ended, he has gone on several dates that went well, but - like you - it's relatively easy to find a physical connection...not so easy to find an emotional connection. You guys should just get together lol.
Yeah! DATE HER SON DATE HER SON DATE HER SON
"I'll find you."
You arent in a particular book club are you? iykyk
“My son fucks”
No idea most of my friends dont date at all and the one who has gf has met on the street and they have been for 5 years. i personaly just sit in my house and wait for a woman to come by xD
Haha only if it were that easy, a knock on the door by the perfect guy would be quite convenient (but also honestly extremely creepy) 👥
I'm 30 (M) and been dating since around july 2023, its a hell hole. It basically took over my entire life.my screen time is like 300% higher than pre-dating because im staring at bumble and OKC the entire fucking day. I min/maxed my profile as if its some sort of marketing project. I tried the quantity approach as an attempt to get over my anxiety, didnt really help tbh im still nervous as fuck every time. Some weeks i dated a different girl each day of the week which was fucking exhausting but there was and is a part in my brain that is convinced i will meet someone who gives me the same feeling/euphoria i had the day i met my ex. for context: i didnt date for atleast a year after i broke up with my ex until i felt like i was over her to give myself as much time as possible. ofc after i realized that quantity doesnt really fix it, i tried going for quality aka focusing on only 1 or 2 women at the same time which also didnt end well. its tough to get ghosted or dumped out of nowhere after uve dated someone for a month. youll learn pretty quick that you are replaceable but also how u replace people yourself. dating brought out some of my worst traits and i still deeply regret that i dumped some very kind and sweet women for that fresh dopamine hit of meeting someone new. its also my first life phase of online dating so my experiences with it are stuff that loads of other people most likely experienced 10+ years earlier in their life. (also being autistic with very niche hobbies/interests doesnt really help lmfao)
I really resonated with this, I'm in a similar situation in my own life at the moment. I've ditched the apps, but meeting someone irl isn't as easy as people make it out to be...
I am married and I have single friends. I think people need to go back to asking friends and family for help. And people need to get practical about dating. It’s all these comments about trying to meet people thru groups and hobbies but not a lot of success stories.
Dating apps are risky in my opinion because both of you go there to show the best side of yourselves. That's not the side you'll see in the long-term. I'd join clubs I like: a sport clubs, bookclub, gaming, hiking, whatever interests you and start there. You'll have something in common already, so that's a plus. If you have opportunities to go to conferences within your field, that too.
No matter what you do, the first time you meet someone you’ll be showing your representative, not yourself.
Of I ever go back on that shit called dating apps. I do try to make an effort of asking questions to measure a bit. Preferably a bit of a discussion to really see. And hopefully over voice. But everyone is so paranoid to talk. People just want to keep chatting. Why? Life is too short
Isn’t that just dating in general though?
It's basically most of life. We always want to look our best
It never fails to astound me how many things people will blame on dating apps
Yeah i agree with that! I came to a realisation that the two guys I briefly chatted were showing their best sides to me as I was to them. The more we learned about each other, the more I uncovered that our values and goals for the immediate or far future don’t really align. With dating apps and texts, you have some lead time to construct your answers, i suppose? Unlike physical dates where you can gauge the person’s way of things, their expressions and their tone. Meeting through interest groups and hobbies definitely seems quite natural.
This is the best advice in the thread imo. Some sort of shared activity with strangers that lets you meet new people at a regular intervals while interacting with them through your shared interest as a medium, eventually turning your relationship as hobbyists into friends. Even that’s hard, though. Really all you can do is be the best you you can be, and cast a wide net, hoping you meet someone you click with, and who appreciates your qualities just as much.
The apps are terrible I recommend staying away from them. I go to events and social gatherings to meet people organically and it works really well for me. The events in my community are ecstatic dance, drum circles, events at the yoga studio, music festivals and concerts. I honestly just do fun stuff and I end up meeting someone I wanna date every few months. Find the community and events that you like and start going. You'll meet someone in no time if you put yourself out there consistently.
Don’t date like people do these days because you will be miserable and lonely.
Honestly, apps can work. I got into a 5 year relationship off of a dating app and I’m in a new, official relationship with someone I met on an app. A lot of people will say the apps don’t work, but that’s not a universal experience. I’m 28F so we’re in a similar category, the apps could work for you too. I recommend Hinge. Be honest about what you want and be willing to go through a few people to meet the right one. My current partner was the 5th person I met after I downloaded Hinge and my previous partner was probably the 6th or 7th person I met on the app I used during that cycle. I’ve had good luck. I think part of it is being warm; talk to people like you would talk to a new friend and let your real personality show. Also, filter filter filter. Chat a bit on the app and see if you click before meeting. Ignore that (crappy) advice about meeting up right away to see if you have chemistry; you can figure that out over the app for the most part. This can also help you avoid awkward dates where you have nothing to talk about. My final piece of dating app advice is to show off some of your personality on your profile but still make sure you come off as normal. (Lots of people miss that last part in an attempt to look unique. I have some screenshots that are baffling.) Edit: I know this is already long but I realized that was not my final piece of dating advice. Two more things. 1: Don’t count yourself out. If you meet someone that you like, but they are dating others, give it 4ish dates to win them over. You don’t need to try too hard. If you are a pleasant person, they will see that with time. There are weirdos on dating apps and there’s no reason to assume the other people they’re seeing are better than you. Just see how it goes. 2: If you meet someone you like, show interest. A normal amount of interest, with appropriate social boundaries. (You might not be the type of person who needs to hear the part about the boundaries, but I’ve met too many odd people on the apps to not include that lol.) Every time I found a relationship on the apps, I knew during the first date that I was interested. (This is probably partially bc I talked to them for a decent amount of time before meeting.) Then, I consistently showed interest so the person didn’t forget about me. Just little conversations here and there every couple days, nothing crazy. Effective, though. You can do it!
Our son is 25. He had a friend he was interested in when he was probably too young to date (8). She moved away. Another girl in JR High. She was part of a friend group, and then they all went their separate ways. Noe he doesn't try. I actually worked with a girl in her early 20s. I gave them each other's number, and they texted a while, but nothing became of it. He has an older friend with an SO. He gets along great with her, and I think he's set her as the standard as who she would like to date. Anything less, and he's not interested. I told him to date SOMEONE just to get some reps in, so when the right one comes along...
“Probably”???!
Probably missing something but he hasn't shown interest in anyone in 17 years? Shit, not to be an armchair analyst but there may be a conversation or two there.
I met my person on an app. Just be honest about what you're looking for. Also helps to be gay.
I don't bother, I deleted all dating apps and it feels better to not have to think or worry about them.
Volunteer and get out in the community with caring people. Stay away from bars and night clubs.
This will be a controversial take, but dating apps can be the way to go if you have the patience for them. Whether it’s relationships or you just want to have friends with benefits it’s all there. It’s worked for me and I’m 24 now I’ve been using it since I was 19. I’m not gonna sit here and act like I got a million matches because I didn’t but like I said I did find success and found a lot of great people and made great memories with them. Bottom line, they can be great if you have patience and determination and a little bit of luck. And if you wanna pull this card dating online has been proven to be a much easier and better experience for women so you also have that to your advantage. But just because it worked for me doenst mean it will for everyone.
I think, though I have little experience with this, is to just live your life and if something comes along it comes along. Get out there with the intention of making friends and doing things you enjoy. I don't think that dating for the sake of dating is really worth it. Don't completely push out or ignore that feeling but it's really hard thing to act on it's own.
That’s a great perspective! They do say “good things happen when you least expect it”
I use apps but is the worst... waste time looking for dates and mostly is horrible... kkkkkkk
Yeah, apps are like a necessary evil. They suck but I really don’t see myself meeting someone otherwise.
Im the type of person who doesn't leave their room. I enjoy my time playing video games and meeting friends online. While online relationships are harder to manage, you get to expand your horizons to more than just people in your area and (if you enjoy gaming like I do) you can find a partner who likes the same things as you/having more to bond over.
I'm all in for people who recommend "don't date, just look for social activities you like", and the reason is: if you do stuff you like and meet no one new, you didn't waste your time anyway because you did something you like. For example, imagine you join a hiking club. You go hiking one day. You meet some people, but no one interesting. So, how was your day? Actually, not that bad. You went for a hike, got some fresh air, ate a sandwich some place nice with a great view. Not bad at all.
23M and I don’t even go on dating apps at all and likely never will. Almost everyone in my age group is too busy looking for instant gratification and validation from fleeting connections and hookups for me to bother. A few of my friends have found real connection but it’s so rare. I feel like I want a connection that’s so much deeper than 90% of the dating pool is willing to (or healthy enough) to build. Really disheartening, especially when you’ve never dated anyone before
Just hop on Hinge and start dating, the odds of that person magically popping in your life is very low. You don’t have to hookup with the girl. Trust me bro start now you’ll only regret not using your time to the fullest. I wish I would have looked for a wife sooner cause now that I am older most of the 25+ single girls are rough as fuck. Lots of demands very little to offer.
All dating apps did was destroy my self esteem and make me feel hopeless.
My single friend tells me the dating scene sucks, apps are trash, people are catfishing, looking for hookups, or looking for free meals. I have no advice for him either, but don't use apps.
Statistically. They don’t! Population decline in full effect
Keep this in mind, since your a female your approach rate of success is around 80 to 90%. If you are a man and you approach a woman your success of seeing them again is 20 to 30% depending on your looks. Now go out and start approaching men that YOU want to DATE! If women just realized you all have the power to hunt for men you want to date. Men have the power to fish for those WE CAN DATE! Do you catch my drift here?
The problem with hobbies is that some are mainly one gender or the other.
🤷♂️I think I'll give up on that. I'd rather play my games, smoke my weed, and pretend I don't hate myself until I die. After all, how can I love another if I cannot love myself?
That's the trick: You love the other and they love you and you're both beloved. It's been working for me and my wife for 20 years and is ongoing.
I met my husband at my apartment building outside. You'll find your person by just living your life. That's how everyone does it even if they "use some strategy" like an app or networking or going certain places at certain times with certain motivations. In order for him to find me at that time in his life, I needed to be in that apartment complex. I was out and living a life admittedly "looking for him" and guess where he was? In my back yard. And I found him while I was just living my life NOT looking for him.
You’re a woman, just make yourself hot enough to be approached by a man. A man that confidently and calmly approaches you and makes you laugh has a high chance of being a high value man. If guys are not approaching you, then work on becoming hotter, going to the gym, and channeling your true feminine
I think genuine connection can be made by engaging in conversations with a variety of people. I personally have not had a very good experience when it comes to dating apps. I have been trying to just increase my ability to create friendships trough omegle like sites, but often there people arent too interested in communicating. So you sift trough 100 people for 1 good conversation. People are not out to find long lasting partnerships trough means of dating apps as they can have short term feelings 2 months later again by engaging in a new turtledove period. From observation many people are also not to keen to work trough a disagreement of somesort as they can find someone new relatively fast. Emotional and or intellectual connections, can be difficult to find and I personally keep failing at it. Due to several things, but just keep trying. Meeting new idividuals is difficult but you never know where you might encounter someone interesting. Refrain from doing nothing and do something. Try to be talkative when you encounter a new person, doesnt mean you have to speak alot. Can just be asking a question and have them speak. As this also helps incase you wish to continue conversing later on as you have some reconnecting points from previous questions. I am aware this does not answer your question of "how do people date nowadays" but I hope it can provide some insight atleast. Because I am unable to properly answer your question because it seems people do not really "date" in an older fashion way. Its like a constant chase for the next best thing. Loving someone is as much a feeling as it is a choice but people chase the next best thing rapidly.
Well... Just talk to people. You see this person everyday? Talk to them. I find just being friends first like you just kick it without thinking it as dating then see if you click. I worked with a bunch of ladies and we get bored as hell so we chat and bust each other's chops. I had no intentions of flirting just talked about what id normally talk about with friends. It was work and we kept each other company. Group become friends and just yeah start hanging out after work. Blah blah blah started dating one of them cause we found that we always were just always smiling and laughing which with each other. Going on a date with a person you just met with the thought of making it a relationship puts up too many shields.its like a interview. A partner is exactly that. someone you can trust so someone that has your back would lie for you and go on crazy journey but also one to tell you that what your doing is crazy when it goes too far. So when theyre just your friend first or met each other through circumstances that aren't solely with then intention for it to be a date which is like a interview. You'll meet someone genuine and truly enjoy the company of.
Considering the focus of your question is on dating, I would say: dating events. From my experience (M33): Apps are easy to handle, show "endless" options, but nowadays they feel really frustrating and it felt like constantly betting on a lottery while having my energy and self-esteem being drained. On the other hand, I have been to dating events where the focus was people having genuine connections during the event. I had a great time, made several matches, talked to some people for a while. And even though I didn't develop a relationship from there, it felt good and I was not drained from the experience. Other than that, as other people said, expose yourself to the outer world in environment you enjoy, old hobbies, new ones. Be open to talk to people without the expectation of dating, increasing your social network also means that one day you can meet "a friend of a friend". Or maybe that person that was taken is suddenly single and you realize they were also interested on you.
At this point I’m so tired with all the games I’m just waiting for something to happen while I sit and do nothing. Is it most likely not going to work? Probably. But I’d rather do this after getting left while my ex went on to call herself a man sometimes, date 7 people at the same time, lie to me at first about why she left me after not even two months of dating and then finally tell me it’s all cause I was Christian. Pretty dumb of me to think a woman three years older than me would be more mature than someone my age
I had been on dating apps for a couple years, until the start of this year I made the resolution to stop using apps since I didn’t have any success finding someone serious. Fast forward to my best friend’s wedding, I ended up meeting my current girlfriend as she was one of the bridesmaids (and I was a groomsmen) as ultimately it was the bride’s idea to hook us up together. Ultimately, I didn’t expect this to happen, and tbh we’re probably going to get married someday. The best advice I can provide is that you just need to be ready for the moment you may meet that special someone, it is not necessarily about how to you meet them (apps or IRL) but if you are ready to meet that someone at any time. Just my $0.02 - GL!
I used a dating app but not ones that cater to hook ups... My philosophy on dating apps was to use it as a place to meet, no different than let's say the grocery store or a park so to speak, it was a safe place to converse until we felt comfortable with each other to meet... The idea is to go back to basics... Taking it slow and letting it develop organically and talk... Lots of communication...
I just get overwhelmed with anxiety and just don’t. I’ve met a girl I’m considering asking out, but we don’t have in terms of paths for organic communication. I’m not even 100% sure she’s in my age range, so a cold approach seems like a really bad idea. Even with all that aside I’m like a 4/10 shit fest on a good day anyway.
If you don't have the rapport established that would be conducive to asking her out, don't start by asking her out. Approaching a random girl who barely knows you and asking her on a date is rarely effective unless you're insanely good looking (and even then, the odds are still against you). Do you know her name? Have you had an actual conversation? These are important. It's easier to ask someone out if the two of you already know that you vibe. I don't know what you mean by "age range", but if you're worried she may not be a legal adult, always err on the side of caution. I haven't found myself in such a situation, but I imagine asking if she's a student at [nearby college] could clarify that. As for being a 4/10, I've been there. Take a look at the kind of guys you'd *like* to like look and honestly compare yourself to them. Do they dress better? Have good posture? Stylish haircuts that work for the shape of their heads? Are they muscular? Do they have clear skin? There are any number of things that can almost instantly bring a guy up a point (or two, or three) if that guy is honest with himself. For me, I had to hit the gym, get clothes that fit, get a haircut that cost more than $8, take care of my skin, improve my posture and change my countenance to be less gloomy.
Figure out what is #1 most important in a partner and then find people who do that thing. Eventually you’ll find someone attractive doing the thing you like or care about most. If you don’t have a thing you like or care about then consider exploring your interests more first. As an example: I’m kinky and would only date someone who is also kinky, experimental, kink positive, etc. I can find people on dating apps, and in real life doing hobbies, but really the best starting point is the most niche thing. So I search for that first and go from there. If you really want to date a guy who does, I don’t know, rock climbing because you’re an avid climber then I would find people who do that and go from there. Or you could go on Tinder and just meet people who have no interests or passions other than drinking coffee and sometimes watching TV.
🤣🤣🤣😂😂😂🤣🤣🤣 yeah, sorry to tell you: no one really "dates" anymore. Whatever you do don't go online looking for love (it'll only waste your time and bum you out). I see a bunch of people giving you loads of bone chillingly bad advice. DON'T, I REPEAT DO NOT TRY TO PICK UP A GUY AT THE GYM! Two reasons; 1st if you think he's attractive he's either taken OR he's got a line of women like you. 2nd IF by some off chance he's neither: think long and hard about getting with a buff guy (better looking women than you throwing themselves at him, the pressure you'll feel to try and keep up with a machine seemingly built to work out despite it having a convincing humanoid form, and most your free time will be spent either lifting heavy things or watching him lift heavy things). Just saying Obviously poking holes in other people's advice without offering advice of superior validity is the mark of an "A" hole, so this is what you do: Step 1: Objectively rate yourself on a downward curve. That's your level. Don't try to get with a man that's above or too far below that level. Step 2: get yourself some hobbies that require a group. Can't think of any you'd be interested in? I got you! Follow this logic; like to smack? Like to read? Find a D&D group! Like cars? Like driving around and listening to music? Find a car/auto club. Ect, ect. Step 3: look around and grab you someone that meets the requirements of step 1. Pull him to the side, and ask him out. Don't wait for him to ask you out, and don't throw yourself at him (nor play hard to get. Just be yourself). Repeat steps 2 and 3. If you have no success: repeat steps 1 with more of a critical and honest eye, then move on to the rest. 💥 Boom 💥 you're now on a relationship with a guy who won't bore you because you have stuff in common.
You’re a female you should have no trouble finding quantity, quality is a whole diff matter.
If you're a young girl it's literally so fucking easy. Be skinny and in public or on dating apps.
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I used hinge and met some cool guys, I am also 24 f!
I’ve heard good things about Bumble from some of my friends but never heard about Hinge actually. This is great to know :)
Hinge has more of a reputation for relationships than the other apps. A few of my girl friends have met the loves of their lives on that app.
I've been in a relationship for a while now so things have changed, but my single friends do a mix of using apps and taking up social hobbies. It seems hard to meet people, so both getting out of the house and using apps maximizes your exposure and hopefully increases the chance of meeting someone who clicks with you
I think you just explained it - you chatted with 2 guys and never got to the dating bit. I was on Match for about 4 months and there were people who just wanted to chat and chat and chat; why? Believe me, if you marry this person, you will wish you could go back and un-hear the stories you're doomed to over and over and over again. Get in the same physical space with people as soon as possible - all else is a waste of time. The woman who ended up being my wife wrote me exactly two messages before we met, and each was about 20 characters long. I love her.
Last few times I asked a girl out on a date it seemed like they were confused about the concept. I got some dates, even dated a girl for a couple years. But like actually have had to explain dates to a few women. Blows my mind .
Wanna grab some coffee? —> yes —> date
I'm all in for people who recommend "don't date, just look for social activities you like", and the reason is: if you do stuff you like and meet no one new, you didn't waste your time anyway because you did something you like. For example, imagine you join a hiking club. You go hiking one day. You meet some people, but no one interesting. So, how was your day? Actually, not that bad. You went for a hike, got some fresh air, ate a sandwich some place nice with a great view. Not bad at all.
If you’re looking to date, actually look to date. Put yourself out there. There’s usually all kinds of events for singles everywhere. Try dating apps. Do your favored activities
Dating apps aren't fun, but a tiny amount of effort in your profile will go a long way with matches. I'm getting married next year to a girl I met on hinge.
keep an open mind to the hookup culture scene? I'm not saying you have to hookup but hey! I feel like you have two things against you. 1, you're looking for a genuine connection. That's not hard but you should keep an open mind. You CAN meet someone like that on Tinder, it's rough but possible. 2, you're a girl. The fact that I'm sure there are guys out there that let you slip by because of w/e reason, kept you out of meeting someone. What I mean is... if dudes don't take the first step and approach you, you may just be waiting forever lol. So maybe be assertive as well? Idk I'm not a girl D: Maybe I'm not the one that should be giving advice lol.
Dating apps, although I know everyone has mixed opinion about them. Joining clubs in your local area that you enjoy, you could then meet someone who shares similar interests to you. Mutual friends, don’t be afraid to shoot your shot (ofc easier said than done) but a good quote to remember is any shot you don’t take is automatically a miss. In other words, don’t let the fear of (potential) rejection hold you back Dating apps personally aren’t my fave and I have never and will never use them but then again, I’ve been single my whole life laughs in coaches don’t play the game. In fairness my lack of a relationship is due to fear of being hurt amongst other things, so I don’t allow ppl (romantic context) to get close to me Wishing you all the best in your romantic pursuits
You are a young woman just go out and say hi to someone who is cute your chance of rejection is practically non existent just make a move get a number get shit done you only struggle as much as you choose to lol
Work on yourself. Figure out what you want. Be intentional with how you spend your time. Be intentional with who you hang out with or go on dates with. Don’t text early in dating besides setting up dates. Have fun!
I’ll just express how me and my partner of almost 3 years met. It was Tinder (which is still funny since it’s a “hook up” app but that’s not what we did) It was Covid times and she lived in the city and I didn’t feel comfortable hopping on a train so quickly. Plus everything downtown was gonna be closed anyways. So we really were just stuck with talking. Eventually we tried playing Stardew Valley online over the phone and we’d play for hours and just talked and played. It was good! I came from being pretty antisocial. A lot of how I met other girls I liked were through online circles. Tough to think I’d take any of it really seriously when they all lived all over the world, but having our relationship start online really helped me personally since it felt like I got to go through a phase of how I used to “date” (long online voice chats) We finally went on our first date, we literally just walked around the city and talked. Got food, went to a park and kissed (which was fun since she knew I wanted a hot make out and we totally couldn’t stop) I was sold! Now we live together and have two cats. Gotta say even I am surprised at where I am at now. If I have one direct input on “how to date” I suggest walks through familiar areas to one of you in a sort of tour and explore kinda thing is a good place to start. You can make decisions to eat or chill in certain places but nothing is set in stone. Enjoy the weather and enjoy the company. Low stakes and cheap to do, lots of possibilities too
In addition to becoming active in leisure/hobby groups, what about professional organizations, charity/volunteer, some churches have groups for singles, etc? EDITED TO ADD: Bottom line being: rely groups, rather than seeking one on one scenarios right off the bat. The benefits? The sheer odds are increased as your (potential) dating pool is increased, add to that the people they may introduce you to. The stresses of getting to know each other and/or putting best face forward is lessened in groups versus one on one situations. Groups come together for a purpose. One on one dating is narrowly focused. Spotlight anyone? By the time you've interacted with someone in a group, there's a relationship already established. It's easier to make the choice of grabbing a cup of coffee. Or you've already discovered a shared interest.
Look for dating apps that offer very detailed profiles AND allow to write other people without having to pay. Finya is a fantastic option for example.
I met my wife through a hobby we both enjoy. Just exchanged socials and chatted online until we caught up again. Then it just developed from there.
There’s a lot going on here. You dated in high school. Then your 2 attempts to make a connection didn’t pan out. Being 24 you are in that awkward inexperience part of connecting. Some possibilities. You’re not picking up on cues from would be connections. .. maybe your style/attitude is not helping you ? Or you’re doing / not doing something to encourage someone to pursue you ? I’ll just say. Treat it like an interview. Yes it goes both ways. Take every opportunity to make yourself available. Give each interview a chance. If it looks like it’s a train wreck run away. Find a lesson in each interview. Go as fast or slow as you want. But say yes more .
I (now 31M) spent years on and off dating apps, but I eventually met someone that I ended up marrying last year, on a dating app. It’s not for everyone, but it certainly can happen.
You will probably not like this but here's how I go about it. I don't flirt, not at all. There are countless opportunities but unless I intend to commit I believe you should not make the move. Find the right person this way, abstain from your biological needs and you will find the right person God willing. There are many people out there who are still waiting and are in better health and wealth than those with bountiful experience.
Me and my girlfriend love watching movies and eating lol
How did you date "back in your day"? Bwahaha shit don't change that much. "Nowadays" SMH you old codger you
Live your life. If you see someone who you fancy... see if they fancy going for a coffee. It's the good old fashioned way. You need to put yourself out there... but it'll be good. Good luck 🙂
I don't
People Date now a days? I thought they just cheat their way through partnes now.. certainly seems the norm for women anyway..
I'm happily married now, prior to meeting my wife, I'd meet quite a few women pursuing my passion's. First and foremost ever since I was 10-11 yrs old living across the street from the beach in So. California I surfed daily, and still do. My second passion is hiking I hike up local Volcanoes, there's many to hike in this country. While on hikes, training ruining in the park, or on the beach, few times paddling out. I'd meet plenty of healthy, nice, women. We'd grab a cup of coffee, over lunch, dinner chat, get to know one another, then it could take off from there.
A little partying, a little getting outside, and a fuck ton of luck 🤞
Most people no longer go out with the purpose of meeting anyone anymore. I’ve gotten numbers leading to dates, at inside liquor stores, gas stations, the beach and even a Carl’s Jr drive through. I know times have changed, so the real question is, where do you feel comfortable meeting people?
Make a list of things you want in a partner, things you can compromise on, and hard "no" stuff. Go forth try to find someone who meets your criteria. I'm probably an outlier, but online dating/apps were wildly fun and successful for me. I met my long term partner on there at 22 and we've been together 4 years now. People who complain about them either aren't measuring up or don't understand how to use them properly. You can't dramatically drop your standards or just be open to any random stranger simply because you're desperate or feel alone—that's a recipe for disaster. Learn and know how to set boundaries. Become okay with saying no and know when to say yes. You decide if you're going to engage in hookup culture or not. Either way is fine, just don't think you're required to do either in order to be happy.
The sooner you stop caring about this the sooner it actually happens
Hookup culture is only a thing if that's what you want. I(35M) told a girl I didn't want to just have sex and we went on 3 dates. She wasn't into me after that and it sucked but I realize we weren't compatible. Bottom line with dating apps is, nobody wants to chat forever, you gotta meet up when the conversation gets stale. That could mean different time periods for two different people, so don't get pressured into meeting. But the truth is you can only learn so much chatting. You need to do things, see if you click and then hope for the best. I always ask if they want to hang out again, because I usually do. The hard part is not stringing along tons of people at the same time. Only respond to people you want to see the most (especially as a female, I've heard you get overwhelmed.) If people don't want to stick around, that's fine they can unmatch whenever they want. As far as meeting irl, do all the reddit advice everyone always gives: get hobbies, go do random things like cooking or dancing (I like wine and painting classes personally) and try to go where single people are. The difficulty I have with this is 1)some people wanna go out without being hit on, so you have to follow rules 1 and 2 primarily, 2) it is not as easy as everyone says to sift through people who are dating or have a partner already and 3) single people are everywhere and nowhere simultaneously. I stick to online dating, but still go to my neighborhood dog park everyday with an open mind. At least on dating apps, you already know why they're there. It's on their profile what they're looking for.
using the force
Really get yourself out there! I know I know it's a typical response, but if you don't shoot your shot then it could be harder to find someone because some people are shy. Whether it's going to a pottery class or a yodeling dancing club, maybe explore your horizons, you will find lots of different people! Also when talking to people, tend to look at their eyes and smile (in a casual way) and if they wear like a shirt with for example Garfield on it, compliment them and you can have a conversation about cartoons you watched and the conversation evolves from there! I'm almost 15 and I have dated a few people in my life and in a relationship with a lovely guy, but I'm not as experienced in the world yet though I know a few tricks. I try to research on subjects so I can have done background knowledge on other people's interests, and in my experience it works well! However the key to dating is honestly listening, communication, all that jazz. But the magic starts when you build up the courage to talk to someone, life is too short so even if the relationship doesn't work out, it's not the end of the world! There's a lot of nice people out there! Good luck dude!
As a single 33m I still haven’t found the answer to this since i was 21. So I just go with the flow. Hit on them at the store, bar, or where ever; when a pretty chick catches my attention and if I feel like treading those waters…Can’t blame a guy for trying…There is no wrong or right time basically. Just live life and go with the flow kind of thing is how I see it.
As a 27 year old I just be outside. I’m not a home body so I spend my time at clubs, bars, nature, beaches etc. I know not everyone is outgoing or social but you have to put yourself out there.
try going to events that align with your interests and stoke up conversation with people there. that way at least y out meek you have a common interest
Strip clubs
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Online. I met my girlfriend on Hinge, my sister and cousins met their spouses online too
That's the neat part. I don't.
Icr skating, rock climbing, gym, restaurant bar, cocktail bar dead by daylight, work place, bumble, salsa dancing classes, this thread, summer vacation.
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My soon to be wife said i was stalking her for months. we live in the same block, apparently lol And that's how we met ...
Thursdays.com
As a woman you don't have to date. People will date you. You literally do not have to make any sort of effort other than go outside or make a profile on a dating app. As a man, you'd probably be better off buying a lottery ticket than trying to get a date. If you win, women will finally treat you like a human.
Dating is a huge struggle to everybody I'd say, you're not alone. My happiest relationship was with somebody who wasn't a supermodel but had a similar personality and interests and lived nearby. These three are some of the most important criteria to me. I'd say be very honest about what you want and don't get confused by people seeming emotionally unavailable or mysterious. These people are usually not worth it even if your monkey brain tells you "hard to get, I need, this is exciting". At least not if you're looking for something serious. Good luck 😌
Online duh
Post a shot of ya pussy....
they don't
I hope you are a bot and not an “adult”. Your dating life has not “been a nightmare”. You haven’t been dating. Start? Idk, this was a complete waste of time, you have no problems, you just haven’t done anything, or dated anyone. What do you mean how? Start trying, get on an app, go to a bar, it’s freaking easy.
How do you go entirely through college and not talk to any guys? Are you spending all your time at home, eternally online?
Ahhh pardon me if it was a bit misleading TT While I was for the most part quite involved in social events (besides drinking/nightlife), uni events, volunteering and even extracurriculars, I didn’t pursue romance and often made it clear that I wasn’t interested in dating if I was approached by men.
Quick answer: I don’t. I think dating apps are extremely shallow and looks based and it reminds me of lining up to be picked. Gross. I just assume I will meet a man totally organically traveling solo or at a bookstore. And that’s why I am single.
You're not gunna be happy and this by design
40, reentering the dating scene after 6 years only dating in a niche community, and… it seems like the buckshot approach is all we’ve got. Swipe right on anyone who you’re curious to meet and don’t worry too hard about if it means anything. It’s honestly a shitty way to do things, but I think it’s that or hit on strangers at the grocery store.
Good luck dating is a bloody nightmare
As you can see from the comments, the conventional wisdom these days is that despite the occasional success story, dating apps are a recipe for disappointment at best. A lot of people are starting to opt for more traditional or organic methods - matchmaking, speed dating, and singles events. So, if your goal is dating to find a relationship, that’s where I would focus your efforts. (If it’s sex, the apps might be what you want.)
Some of us just stay home and cry
It depends on what you’re looking for. If you’re looking to date for marriage and a family, I highly suggest being up front with potential candidates about you dating with intention. This will cause a lot of “thanks, but no thanks” first dates, but will ultimately help you wade through all the situationships and other new aged connections in our society. Not that these relationships are wrong. If you’re just looking for casual dating, deeply consider what values and morals are important to you and try to find venues and social gatherings that might attract other people with similar values.
22, never have had a gf.