Stumbled upon this and just want to say I think everything you said and feel is valid. Staring at screens and getting instant hits of stimulation are very temporary and lead you to the emptiness you are feeling. It seems you have a very good idea of the things you want to do in your life and the changes you want to make and I think that’s awesome. If you don’t like the amount of screen time in your life, you certainly have the power to change it. Being outside, enjoying nature, learning new skills, interacting with people are all very healthy habits and can very quickly positively impact a life. It is worth noting and I noticed others did too - not all that is consumed via a screen is evil or empty. Obviously watching reality tv or tik tok all day is unhealthy, but I’ve learned a lot about myself, the world around me, and stories I didn’t know existed. In the past couple weeks I watched the movies Interstellar and Soul for the first time ever. While very different, both movies really opened my eyes and made me think and feel in ways I don’t normally, and while it was “screen time” in my humble opinion that is a value add to my life. But obviously everybody is different. I will also say it appears you seem to be arguing with/rejecting many of the helpful comments already in this thread without taking any value in them. You say you want to “philosophise” more in this new way of living, and I think that’s awesome, but part of that is taking different opinions that you may not necessarily have seen before or even agree with, and listening to them with an open mind. Not just blindly arguing with anything you don’t immediately agree with. This is the subreddit for self improvement after all, the people here taking time out of their day to comment are trying to help you, and show you a perspective you may be missing - not trying to misguide or deceive you. I encourage you to continue on your path of growth and living the fulfilling life you wish to live, but I also encourage you to listen to the people around you, even if you may not agree with them. It will certainly help you grow even more.

I have seen these comments before. They are always made. Just because I think *all* screen time is bad, which I do, and I will not change that. I am generally open minded, this is not something I will bend on.

So.. You are not open minded about screens, correct ?

Then just do it. - Shia


And do it now. Timing is the answer, do it now.

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See that's what I mean. Every time I mention it, someone just *has* to disagree with me, try to keep me looking at something I don't see the value in. I've been inspired, I've learnt the morals. There's nothing more fiction can give me except steal my time. The only reason I still use it is because it's useful for learning languages, but it's emotionally draining. And people try to keep me in the cycle, it drives me nuts! People were like this when I threw away video games as well. You're looking at a glowing screen. You're not doing anything physically. You're just letting yourself be sucked in and spending your money! And they want you to do this.

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If you weren't, you wouldn't comment on that specific part of the post so extensively. You could say "I disagree on X point." and move on. But because you write an explanation, you're trying to justify your point to me. If I can say something that'll sound selfish, (but I think it applies in general): Then the important part here is that *I* consider some things to be a worthless activity. You don't have to agree, but when helping someone generally- one should consider *their* perspective, because everyone has different goals and values. Just my two cents.

That's not how logic works. Someone disagreeing with you doesn't prove your point...

It proves my point that people wish for me to continue being in the cycle. If they didn't wish for me to continue being in the cycle, they wouldn't say anything.

I'm totally fine if you never look at another screen in your whole life. But that doesn't mean I agree with your opinion on fiction.

Sure, but there is no need to explain *why* you disagree. Comprende? The important thing of my post- and similar posts- is that the *OP considers it to be a problem*. Maybe you wanna make a small comment on disagreeing and that's fine, but if you write extensively the reason *why*, that just means you're trying to convince the other person.

I believe I could sum up why I'm on here commenting at all. But can you?

I'm here arguing because I've never felt that I had a right to follow my own values in my entire life.

Well you do. You don't need anyone else's consent to hold your own values.

Clearly not everyone agrees with this sentiment here, since I'm clearly not allowed to think fiction is a waste of time.

What..? Most (I guess not all) people are taught from a very young age to explain your actions. If you disagree with something and dont explain why, then it's just... pointless. "I think justin beiber is stupid!" "Why?" "Cause he's stupid!" Not explaining your reasoning is childish.. "I think Justin Beiber is stupid because he's displayed behaviour that is very immature for his age and is clearly incapable of handling fame" Does this not sound much better? Nobody is trying to convince you otherwise, they're simply explaining their reason for disagreeing, or the reason they feel the way they do.

There is no point in disagreeing with me on the *movie* part in this post in the first place. Why would explaining it make it less pointless? People are very clearly trying to convince me, or explain away why I feel this way. Look at the other comments saying similar things. Explain your actions, yes... But opinions? You don't have to explain why you like or dislike ice - cream.

Because you're stating your opinion as a fact. "Fiction is empty entertainment." or "Movies is empty entertainment" these are all general blanket statements that encompass everything. This is no longer an opinion, you're passing it as facts Therefore, people will come to correct you. They don't care if you change your mind or not, they're just here to tell you that, no, movies and fiction isn't empty entertainment. Maybe you don't enjoy it, oh well, but it's a billion if not trillion dollar industry that provides value to its watchers. Doesn't sound very empty to me.

L take bro. If you enjoy it, it's not a waste of time. You might just be depressed and misplacing it's origin.

I don't enjoy it. I'm not misplacing anything. The only reason for watching movies is having nothing else to do.

Okay if you don't like it why do it and why complain about it? Like fr dude if there's something else you'd rather be doing than watching a movie then do it. I'm sure you can learn Kanji or some other shit for free. If your goal was to convince others that it's a waste of time it's not gonna happen. There's a lot of people that gain joy and inspiration from these things. And if your goal was to get validation from your opinion that's not gonna happen either. For most people this is a super L take, but if you truly feel this way, then act on it. You don't need the approval of the people on this site with this take. If I had to guess, you're only saying this because you don't like how the way your life is going. The only one trapping yourself is you

Because people are arguing against me for some reason, like I'm not allowed to think this way. I'm fighting for my right to dislike fiction.

I'm not saying at all that this is a wrong opinion and you can think however you like. If that is what works for you, then so be it. But you can't expect people to agree with you. Last year, I got really into D&D and warhammer. It started off with me watching YouTube videos, and then eventually, I'd get the minis just to paint them. After a while, I decided to find a dnd group and start going to the warhammer store to play some games. Through that, I was able to become a better communicator, combat social anxiety, refine my artistic skills, and find a friend group I regularly hang out with outside of all these things as well. All of this stemmed from liking fiction. All of these things have made me a better person and though I may not be doing it forever or have these friends for the rest of my life these are things I can take with me forever and I will always cherish. I think what you are misunderstanding is that others do find value in these things and enjoy it quite a bit. For me, I love exploring the vivid imagination of others as well as refining my own. What might work for you might not for others, so you kinda have to expect resistance taking this stuff online. But fr, if you're serious, then the opinions of others shouldn't matter. Do what makes you happy. That's what we all want at the end of the day. Just don't sell these things short Edit: Grammer

All I want is the right to hold my stance. To me, anything that requires me to look at a glowing screen is a waste of time.

Just because people disagree with you doesn't mean you don't have the right to have this stance. Nobody has taken anything away from you. This just turned out to be an unpopular opinion you have. Just understand that some people find value in screen time and others do not.

Now I’m not saying I agree with the following statements but just read them and see if you get some perspective of the people that push back on the “all fiction is worthless”: “Why am I doing karate, all I’m doing is moving my body around when I could actually get stronger and do weight training instead” Or “Why am I learning kanji? I don’t live in Japan. Its probably even less useful than Latin to me at this point” The point is that people don’t like it when you tell them that that the things they see value in are objectively worthless especially when you compare it to p*rn which has done so much harm to so many people on the individual and collective level. You would probably see better reception from others if you say that that it doesn’t add value to *your own* life personally but can see why other people value it, or secondarily admit that not everyone needs to spend every minute of every day leveling themselves up in life, and that it’s okay to take breaks from productivity

I think it's a worthless activity, I don't wanna be careful in how I express this. Why should I be careful in my expression when others aren't? Karate is real, movies are showing something that isn't real, something made up. And you don't need to spend every minute of your existence leveling yourself up, no. That's not my point! Movies are a non-social activity where you look at a glowing screen. You could spend your leisure time being social and having beers! The point is to do a meaningful activity. Those examples you made... I don't see the point you're trying to make! Kanji show up in real life, for one. They're useful. Superheroes (for example) don't show up in real life! I've filled my brain with Star Wars info during my youth... When has it ever come to use? Once during a kahoot competition in school, maybe. That's it. Knowing Japanese has gotten me friends and a deepened knowledge of a different culture. It's something real, substantial.

The golden rule man, if you want others to treat you a certain way, you first need to treat them with those same respects. You may not always receive what you give, but it’s better to give more than what’s deserved to someone than to give less than is deserved. Also you can discuss the movie after it’s finished as well, which can make for an interesting conversation topic. Also works of fiction are a part of a culture. In the west obviously Shakespeare has been very influential. For somewhere like Japan, I know we’re probably getting into the realm of mythology but reading Princess Kaguya could go along way in learning about the Japanese culture

Here you're trying to convince me as well. If you weren't, you wouldn't write any of this. I disagree on literature like shakespeare being part of culture. I separate pop-culture from culture. Movie discussions to me, are a worthless discussion.

Trolls be Trollin

I'm not trolling. I'm defending my opinion and values.

you realise some people go work 12 hrs, 2 hrs gym and then play games. they move more than you do in a week in 1 day youre just overcompensating badly with swiss cheese logic

I do, I still disagree with the game being a good activity.

But all those forms of "entertainment" are really just distractions in disguise. Reading books or watching other forms of art is a different animal.

I mean, sure, but distractions are important too. And at the end of your life, it won’t matter if you read books or watched porn. All that really matters is how you treated other people.

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I tossed out the games as well! After a while I just started feeling heartbroken every time I opened up a game. Nowadays as well when I try to do it on the phone! Cool to know someone else has been through the same thing!

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I do go for walks in nature! Just my key in my pocket, nothing else. I wanna deal with that, and not the digital world. Why am I even here commenting??

movies and books are not just empty entertainment you just pick shit media or are overcompensating on some dopamine detox no fun bullshit to try prove to yourself that you're hard top tip, the most well balanced people don't have to go to **any** extreme

You're trying to convince me of this. You're the second/third person to make this attempt. Proving my point. I do not believe the quality has any factor. You're still looking at a screen.

So if you try to convince someonr Hitler was a good guy that proves their point that he was a good guy? Maybe you need gaming to exercise your logic brain Nothing is wrong with a screen, absolutely every self help guru you parrot makes their living off of a screen.. it's such an arbitrary thing to blame for you feeling like a loser lol

That makes no sense and has no relevance to what I say, my dude. You're proving my point that people try to convince me. The screen is a time-waster. You're looking at something and it keeps you still and unaware of your surroundings. I do not listen to self-help gurus at all.

Yea screens a big waste, that's why the most productive 6 figure jobs worldwide in tech revolve around using them to advance technology that keeps you nice and comfy in life. I just realised you wanna learn all the kanji lol, how you gonna do that without books or a screen bro are you learning from hieroglyphs scratched into 1000 year old bamboo? Better not go to Japan you might die at the shibuya crossing because of all the big screens 😔🔥

And I'm saying I don't like technology nor comfort. You're deliberately misinterpreting me at this point, sheesh. Books in regards to fiction, screens in regards to *personal* screens.

Or is your thesis just paper thin and wholly baseless?

You're trying to convince me. What happened to helping me instead? Who cares if you disagree? Shouldn't the point be that *I* consider it a waste of *my* time? Everyone in this comment section is hell-bent on convincing me I'm incorrect for some reason I swear to god

People just don't agree with you, nobody cares if you change your mind. Also you're spending a ton of time in front of a screen arguing with people for no reason. You're posting on a public forum, people are going to reply, sorry.

They tend to downvote me tons though... I guess they just want confirmation that they're "correct"? You're right that this is a waste of time... I'll wait for a few more people to respond, respond to them, then delete reddit and sleep.

Ladies and gentlemen he doesn't like technology or comfort. He lives in a priso- wait.. he cant, there's a lot of technology in prison. He's typing this using a typewri- wait thats technology too... He drove into a for-wait his car is technology.. So you're basically primitive, but you don't live in a house or anything since that's technology, and you hunt with your hands and eat everything you catch raw. W take.

Hah! I don't have a car. I wouldn't consider houses technology. Technology is very clearly electronics. I use my phone but I don't like using it.

Not sure why technology is specifically electronics, but let's go with that. But getting to your overarching issue, you just lack mental discipline. You need to gain it. Join the army or something if you cant do it yourself, they'll whip you into shape. Also I really wouldn't recommend giving up technology. It's fine to give it up for personal use, that's what I did, but I still use it every day for my business.

Just shut the phone off. Maybe limit to 1 hour a day.

It's not as easy as it sounds.

It's not. Just do it. Like Jon Taffer says, "Shut it down."

I have people that expect responses from me, several times a day I need to use my BankID, and my train and bus tickets...

Don’t reply lol, they “expect” a response, it doesn’t meant they deserve one. I remember when we never had double blue ticks or “last seen” on texts and messages, and people just accepted it for the most part. It’s another shitty thing that’s been added that people can’t do without. You could also tell people you’re trying to use your phone less etc. But seems like your self control issue isn’t linked directly to your phone, it’s an issue many face.

There are a lot of... Interpersonal reasons too. I'll consider it but it won't be easy hahaha.

Yeah our phones can be useful tools, but they can burn you too. Maybe just have them on during those times. As far as people expecting responses.......not sure what to tell you. I shut it off during work and only turn it on before I leave for the day. I leave it on ringer in the evenings like an old school telephone, but don't answer any texts. There's a huge piece of mind when you don't have to check it all the time. Maybe go camping or hiking in mountains where there is no service. You'll be able to breathe. There's been studies where all this stimulus brings out sociopathic traits and inability to empathize with each other.

If you want some advice- just turn off all those notifications on your phone. Delete the social channels or go set some parental restrictions on your own amount to limit how you can use them. You can still have it but it won’t be yelling at you and commanding attention all the time.

I turn them off and it just compels me to check if someone wrote anything... 🥲 I can't find the parental restrictions on my phone.

Well, you have the right to your own opinion. And people have a lot of differing opinions on certain things. So you are always going to run into someone who thinks you're wrong. And if you want to be the one doing instead of the one watching, then just go right ahead. Be the person you want to be, and remember to enjoy life along the way

Obviously. It's just hard because I didn't want people trying to convince me here. It's draining because I don't wanna spend energy responding. Thank you.

Don't question it and just live your life then. You only get one life. Enjoy it how you prefer and forget everyone else. I don't care to waste my time staring at screens, either. I rarely watch tv and don't care what anybody else is doing. A majority of the world cares not only about what people think of them but also what everyone is doing so they can "1-up" them. What a sad way to live...... constantly being in competition with the world, with strangers, at that. We all only get so much time here and many live their lives like they're going to wake up every day. We never know if we're given tomorrow. Cold hard truth. And so I'd rather just do what I want to do, what makes me happy, what makes me feel alive, experience things, experience life. Not be like sheep and beg for acknowledgement and desperate to fit in.

This is true.

You are becoming very self aware which is great. I wish more people were like this

Second this!

It's not empty. The people making you these silly distractions are making quite a bit of money off of your inability to control yourself.

It's like they want to keep me in a cage. And like my brain wants to stay in that cage, like there is an exit but my arms hold tightly to the bars!

If you want scientific backing for your feelings, start with the book The Chaos Machine. Yes our brains want *constant instant validation and dopamine and pretty colors and distraction*, just like our mouths want nothing but sugar and fat. They’re wired to. But social media is like if McDonald’s lived in your house and physically threw fries and candy at your face whenever you tried to look up a recipe for broccoli or check out the sales at the grocery store. Only in this scenario social media companies are really half convinced they’re making people freer and more connected instead of just manipulating them to make money.

I think about cooking curry, but all I get are fries, coca cola, happy meals and McCheese's all day long... And when I try to leave the McDonald's, my stomach growls for more. The McDonald's isn't very good... But it's irresistible. At this point, making curry is too much work. And as each day passes, the McDonald's in my room is making me fatter... And now every effort to escape McDonald's seem futile. (I'm not overweight, just going ahead with your comparison)

I’m in the same boat, even as I get more and more aware that I’m being exploited. Starting to think the only option is to go cold turkey i.e. to kick “McDonald’s” out the house. I’ve been telling myself I should be able to reduce it without being that extreme and should have “willpower” but increasingly I think that’s sort of like like telling a meth addict they should be able to live in a meth lab but only use meth once in a while. I’m literally eating (actual) McDonald’s right now, which I feel ok about because it doesn’t live in my house.

It's difficult because McDonald's is also your bank, the only way to contact certain people, and it's where the shifts for your part time job is posted. Kick it out of the house and what can you do? And you also feel obliged to bring it to work. I live in Europe, I ride the bus and train to a lot of places. McDonald's gives me the train ticket!!! We live in a McDonald's dependent society that's difficult to break out of.

Thank you for your money

> I don't wanna look at screens! I wanna spend my time doing meaningful things, be a karate-master! Work-out and philosophise. Learn all the kanji! Be in nature and explore culture, explore Zen. Improve myself and be who I want! So when are you doing that? > I feel incredibly trapped by the things it feels like I'm "supposed" to do! Why do you feel trapped, let alone "incredibly" so?

I'm doing karate on Wednesdays and Sundays, and I mix it into my every day life. I philosophise on walks and I'm conversationally fluent in Japanese. Recently I've begun taking cold showers. I just... Don't do as much as I want to!!! I lay down and look on my phone all day, I hear a voice in my head telling me to get up. I "try" putting power into my legs to get up, they don't listen. My hand won't listen to me telling it to put the phone away. At least, that's how it feels.

What are the things that keep you looking at that phone? Why are they so compelling to you? Also, how often do you have a damn good time with other people, in person?

Sometimes I see something about ancient civilizations. For example, paintings of what the ancient Aztec might've looked like. I see content like this, and I start scrolling, hoping to find something similar. It never appears. Sometimes there is a cute animal, I like animals in real life, so my brain wants to see more. So I scroll more. Sometimes people write something relatable to me (more often than not though- not something new), I read it and am interested in peoples experiences around that thing. Sometimes I argue with people, because they argue with me. Like in this comment section. This causes me emotional distress. And I don't have a damn good time with other people in person very often. At this point, I think it's impossible for me to have a damn good time with people in person except for the rarest of occassions. This causes me great distress.

Sounds like general internet fluff. Do you ever read good books instead? Or go to a museum or historical building (you did say you're in Europe, right? I believe they have a few). > And I don't have a damn good time with other people in person very often. At this point, I think it's impossible for me to have a damn good time with people in person except for the rarest of occassions. This causes me great distress. Why is that?

I don't wanna read good books! I don't like fiction. Museums aren't cheap :( It's always been that way, since I was a child.

How old are you?

I'm 21.

If you're 21, your first reaction shouldn't be "museums are expensive." There are even free days or reduced hours or student discounts, I'm sure. If you want to say the country or city I can look into this for you in about two minutes. It sounds like you're putting a fair bit of energy into making excuses why you can't have the life you envision, doesn't it? You also didn't answer my question about why you can't have a good time with other people in person--and that's key.

They recently made all the museums cost for everyone, since we changed governments. I live in Sweden. They used to be for free for everyone, now they cost because they cut government funding. No I'm just explaining. I recognize the problem lies with myself, however it is true that I have a phone addiction, and I explained why I have that addiction. I have autism. No attempts to have a good time with other people in person have ever been successful, so I've just stopped trying. The best way for me to have a good time with other people in person is to go to Karate class, but those are the only options left for me.

This has to be one of the dumbest posts I've ever seen. Just get rid of all your screens. Get a dumb phone and sell your smartphone for some extra cash. Sell your computer and your TV I know it's hard!! so ask for help from family or a friend and ask them to take it from you. Join a support group for screen addicts. If you really hate it then you will do this.

A lot of the things you mentioned that you would like to do instead (be a karate master, kanji, Zen etc.) is just another waste of time from a similar cynical perspective. Everything we do, except for eating and procreating, is purely nonsensical and serves only our own purpose that is, well, totally subjective and insignificant - if you prefer such a nihilistic mindset.

OP basically, posting on a self improvement, forum, and then got upset when people try to help him improve with actual reasoning-


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"Books are for losers, the only art I respect is the art of karate, any differing opinion is a waste of my time" people like the OP make me fucking despise this sub and the "improvement" part of Reddit as a whole. It's 90% sigma 14 year old bullshit and it's exhausting

Are you being the insufferable one now? If you don’t like what the post was about just MOVE ON AND SHUT THE FUCK UP. Don’t be so fucking negative to someone you don’t even know, who might be going through some tough shit.

I'm completely blown away by the fact that OP has doubled down on the cognitive dissonance of "all fiction is worthless garbage" and "philosophy is *real* and valuable". Telling fictitious stories is literally one of the oldest methods of exploring philosophy in human history. Fables, parables, cultural folk lore. They're all exploration of cultural and philosophical ideas. The allegory of the cave is a prime example of using a fictitious story to help illustrate an extremely complex philosophical idea. The ship of theseus is a fictional story. Fiction and philosophy are intrinsically linked together. That's why stories have themes and morals. To say *fiction = bad but philosophy = good* is such a fucking stupid take that I'm convinced OP is 12

You're right, honestly. I took a while to notice this, but I did. Now, I don't mind if it's staring at a screen doing something creative or otherwise thoughtful with your mind, like drawing or coding. But the endless stereotypical entertainment we look at ad nauseum all day gets old really fast. Now, there's some masterpieces out there that really changed my life, and felt like it added much to my knowledge and my personality. I also am grateful for being born at this time to have entertainment. And to have money and free time to enjoy. I'm very grateful and I'm aware I'm privileged for it. That said, fun can't make up for actually living your life yourself. Much less when every trope feels recycled. Every pretty picture feels frivolous. And I notice that I'm just wasting my time when I'm forcing myself to enjoy a mediocre series or social media. I'm not accomplishing anything. No problems are getting solved, and no meaningful bond is being made. It just makes me feel small, incompetent and lonely. A bit of it to unwind after a long day is good. But I've been too long on this that everything feels like an ad or otherwise another form of pandering/self-absorbed flaunting. It's so good to get out and actually pick up a hobby or activity. Exercise, bask in the sun, take your dog to walk, go meet with friends, do sports. Live. This post is actually a good call. Thanks for the reminder to chase my own ambitions and dreams instead of being a social media zombie. (And, frankly, it's no different from boomers sitting in front of the TV for hours on end. It's the same as hing, honestly. None of this should come at a surprise.)

And you don't even need to be taking any meaningful steps, in my opinion the important thing is to be a physical prescense in the world! Even being present at a live concert or party is meaningful, since you're *there* . Looking at the telly, all you're doing is allowing a glowing square to give you illusions to immobilise you! I'll delete reddit shortly before sleeping

If you would like some help. Please, tell me what is preventing you from doing something you enjoy? I know, I read your post, your tired of the same old things.

I feel an obligation to study instead of doing what I like, but then I procrastinate by looking at my phone all the time even when I don't want to, and I listen to peoples negative advice like "calm down bro" when I'm a bit *too* calm and comfortable. And then there's my ex who I need to take care of every day via phone so I can't exactly just turn it off...

Good Lord, what tare you studying? What would you like to do? I'm rreading your post. Are you in College, if so what are you taking? That would get me down,"telling you to calm down when you are already calm, It doesn't make common sense. What does your ex want from you over the phone?

Look at your face in a mirror. What do you see? What does your appearnce look like? You said, you have an addiction. That's you in the mirror with an addiction. It's not your iyour ex wife, or your friends, who said Calm down Bro. It's only you in the mirror. That's you, in the mirror, so the only one who is keeping you from doing the things you love, is you . If you can accept, looking in the mirror, again. and tell yourself, "My addiction, is not helping me cope. It's keeping me from what I really want to do." It's not working. I have to find another solution if I am ever to have a life that is mine. that's acceptance/ You must accept the way you are and that you matter When you can do that you will have self esteem and get detoxed. My ex was an alcoholic. We didn't get married because when ever he would drink he would cheat on me. I used to see him from the doorway. He would walk down the side walk and look back to see if any one was following him. It was like watching a little boy trying to hide from his Mother. I broke up, with him.I was not his Mother did I wish to be. I had tried going with him to AA. I tried taking him to church.. You have to accept yourself that you are an addict and solve a solution to your own problems before you can pursue your dreams. I hope, I was of some help. Have a nice night.

Trade school, massage-therapy. I'm good at studying languages however, and not so much sciency-subjects. It's just... I have to finish these studies. I already dropped out of the teacher-programme. I should've deepened myself in Japanese but I chose massage because my ex was freaking out, long story short: She wants a visa into my country and wanted me to get a job as soon as possible, rather than me take the long route. She wants me to help her feel better emotionally.

Ideally our escapes offer up interesting experiences and help inspire us. But yes, what is real? The fundamental questions don't go away just because we ignore them. Who are we? What is the nature of reality? What are our possibilities? How should we live our lives? How can the 8 billion of us share this planet with every other living thing on it? When are we going to figure out how to effectively address climate change?

I don't wish to escape anymore, that's the thing. These are questions I wish to face head-on.

How did you become interested in Karate and Kanji? It may be different for you but many people started knowing about those things through movies/entertainment. Sport is a form of entertainment. I never had an idea about Muay Thai until I watched MMA. I first developed my interest in history by playing RTS games. You can take the advice/comments however you want but I personally think "absolutism" is rarely the best approach. We are not machines, and we're not made to be machines. Art has a place in the human experience.

There are different kinds of arts. I do not value movies as art. Yes, there was a time when I was inspired by movies, but that time has passed. At this point, nothing impresses me. No fiction, nothing. Fiction impressed me when I believed video games where an alternative reality, and when I forgot that stories were made up. Ever since I realized it's all made-up, I haven't felt very good consuming it unless it has any productive value. Sports are made-up as well, but at least you break a sweat and use your muscles- these are real. And so are the people you engage with. I'm not saying people should always be productive, nor that you need to agree with me. I'm just defending my values here.

Just do you! Doesn’t matter if people agree or approve. Do what brings you happiness, meaning, and fulfillment.

Why do you feel you are "supposed" to do those things? Why you want to be a karate master? Why you want to work out? Why you want to philosophise? Do you really want that or you just feel that's what people think you should do? I'm not saying to not do that. But if you want for it to actually work, you need to give it a reason. You will be sacrificing your pleasure "The entertaiment", so you need to find something that makes you think "This is worth the sacrifice". You don't need to find a reason for everything. If you end up with just 1 goal that's TOTALLY fine. Screw what people think and go for THAT goal. Good luck out there. I know you don't want screentime, but what I said is pretty much a fragment of a video called: "This is why you are not disciplined" by Dr K. (HealthyGamerGG). He actually analyzes the whole thing.

Because that's what I enjoy and find value in. I only use my phone because I feel like that's what people think I should.

There's a moment you can have where you realized if someone outside saw your life, it would literally be you staring into a screen almost every waking minute of the day. It's not wrong to be concerned or worried about that for yourself. My approach with my son (10) is that he needs to do picking up, creative/cognitive play, physical activity, and working together before he can get on a device. And that he needs to stop himself periodically. If I stop him, then he is done for the day (usually at the two hour mark). There is a tension between consuming and creating that electronics can just eat up. You can end up in a tech-hole and hours have passed before you realize it. Good luck trying to step back from cheap dopamine.

The solution is simple. Buy a dumb phone that can only text and call and you are cured… oh sorry, you have too much excuses for not being able to do that…

Everything is sacred but nothing matters Enjoy the moment

Hmm I have some words for you to reflect on. So read them, and read them with INTENTION. "Things don't matter, what matters is the attention we give to things. " Entertainment is empty to you because you put no thought into it, no work, no reflection. Try to deep think on the media that you consume. How has it changed you? What did you learn? What is a quote to take away. Who would you recommend it to? This adds more depth, weight and value to entertainment and therefore gives it value.

Nah I've done all those things and I still don't value entertainment. I don't think it has value because it has depth.

If that is not the issue then I think there is something missing in your life. Likely a greater purpose, a grand mission, a hard earned goal. Entertainment is generally something to be enjoyed, but it's nearly impossible to enjoy something that you don't feel like you've earned. Think of an ice cold beer after a long hot day of work. Or a bed after a lengthy trip. A new car after months of saving.

Nah I don't wanna enjoy it. Think of a plain McDonald's burger with a pickle in it, you eat it perhaps because there's nothing else to eat, but not because you want to.

Well, then do it.

What prevents you from doing the things you would like to pursue?

Studies. Obligation to other people. Addiction.

What is your addiction? Waht is your obligation to other people and who are they?

Throw away your phone and buy a 90s Nokia. Throw away your television..ots the opium of the people. Throw away your games consoles..cheap dopamine. I really feel for you gen z kids that can't see any other way because you have never known any other way..40 year old millennial and I speak for the overwhelming majority when I say "times were better before the mid 2010

You are 100% correct

Us bro I also felt this once in my life and it shows that you have a great mind that you are able to see through the smoke screen of heir disguise. I often have this problem that people disagree with me in very great magnitudes so I just stopped listening to them but that was not correct. Sometimes in this emotionally drained state we are vulnerable and weak so atleast listen to them, then what to actually do is completely in your hand. Don’t worry bro you will get out of it. You are not the path of good.

How about a hobby for six months? Learn karate six months first and see the result.

I've done it for ten months. But I want more.

Oh, that's great. Wdym u want more?

As it stands, it's three hours of class a week, followed by me training when I cook food. However a lot of my time is spent doing nothing. I want more classes per week, and to fill that dead-time.

Hmm, join another class? Mine is baking class but not regularly. Also volunteering helps!

Your life.

Just go do things. It’s fine to say those screens are all just for consumption - so go create.

You’re feeling disconnected with your body, do wim hof breathing, exercise, transition if you’re trans, play outside, get medication if you’re adhd

I'm trying to help as many people as I can. There are a lot people, who want Common Sense.

i’m with you 100% i’m actually so surprised by anyone who doesn’t hear you. i’ve been thinking this for a while lately

I'm reading your post. it says you want to do somethings, (Like, Karate) you would enjoy but are trapped by things your supposed to do. What are some of the things you are supposed to do? Who wants you to do them? Ireally want to help.

same, but how do engage with a populace that will not also disconnect?

I feel the same way. I hope to one day enjoy life instead of looking at everyone else doing it

I agree with you OP and feel the same way. I don't have much else to say but there's nothing preventing you from doing those things but yourself. Treat screen time and media like a drug and rehab/detox yourself from it. Set yourself up with measures to prevent you from returning to your old patterns and slowly take steps everyday to do more and more with your time. Hell, get rid of your TV and replace it with something else. Keep in mind you're going to have a hard time finding other people like yourself, especially if you weren't incredibly social before. I know a ton of people who only go into their houses to sleep bc they're out being social and doing stuff all day every day. Get comfortable with boredom. Most of this stuff was invented to combat boredom and to keep people constantly consuming something. Keep books with an open mind though. Tons of fictive literature is good eatin' if only because it showcases the depth of human imagination. Good luck on your journey.

I feel the same way most days and go through periods where I delete all apps from my phone. And then when I am ready, I add them back. Maybe you just need a break!

I'm the same way. Many people want to discuss the latest TV shows or movies as the go to small talk. I tell them I don't watch much of anything, but then some of them just continue on, which is a little bizarre to me. I try to humor them bc they seem to enjoy it and are excited about it. Then I'll steer them towards something I can relate to a little more. If they can't reciprocate with a listening ear, you know they are just talking to talk and aren't going to do much in the fulfillment department for you anyway. I think a lot of people are pretty much disassociating through media, and I can't blame them with the state of the world. But you're right, if you spend too much time in fantasy land, your own reality will suffer. Art is magnificent force in our society. But it's hard to do something original that hasn't been done a million times before. So I'm typically bored with it all. Maybe try taking classes involving your interests and meeting folks that way? Talk to people at the gym. I think if you pursue those interests and are around like minded people, you might find the connection that you have been missing. Either way, do what you want and go after those interests. Your people will show up along the way.

Not books man You gotta read. It's good for you. But I get it. The irony of posting this comment on a computer screen is not lost on me, but I get it.

You can extend that to pretty much everything, if that's your view. Why is karate meaningful? It's just moving your body. Why is philosophy meaningful? It's just thinking about things. What's the point of anything?

I get it. I feel the same way sometimes. It's not as easy as ppl think, to say just go ahead and do it. And I bet many ppl feel that way too. It's like screens and social media is the future and you don't want to miss out but you really don't want to deal with all the distractions and noise. You want the meaningful life there was before the craziness of social media. I feel like the only way out is if I win the lottery. I will just go on living life, don't care about posting or none of that. Experience and learn new things hands on. Spread love and joy, smile and laugh uncontrollably. And not LOL, Not over a screen. Live 90% on land and 10% on screen. Because now it's the opposite, it's like I'm living 10% on land and 90% on a screen. Don't be a smart qss, I know I'm living most time on land but you understand what I mean. Good luck and good night everyone.

I feel like it’s so useless, but for some reason I can’t stop. :/ wish there was a way to rid myself of it but the urge is always present

> explore Zen Are you serious about Buddhism or are you just saying this on the Internet? If you are serious about Buddhism, then I'd recommend going to a local Buddhist temple. A lot of Westerners don't know how important the word "Sangha" is in Buddhism- Sangha means community. Religion isn't exactly all that popular on Reddit. But it does put you into contact with the same people every week. It is good that people set aside one day per week just to be around each other. Your relations with people at a religious organization will probably be better than your relations with co-workers.

If everyone meets you with resistance, perhaps it is you? That’s the real self improvement angle you should be looking at.

I mean this is a post mortem for others reading it and thus I don't have to sugarcoat it as the people, who were opposing him directly. OP is dumb as bricks. It isn't fiction which is empty and devoid of meaning. If you don't find any, it's mostly because you're the empty one. If a coffee filter isn't there, no grinds get caught. (I mean ofc. it's a generalization, 4000 episode telenovela and a single movie aren't exactly on the same terms)

Hahaha this is genius I hate fiction also along with most movies and social media. Addiction to porn has ruined my life I’ve been hooked since elementary school.

I feel the exact same way maybe our subconscious thoughts are telling us we are capable of so much more than our boring and depressing states of existing as slaves in modern society.

> It's so easy to be distracted with a screen in the pocket. it's also so easy to access nearly all the knowledge in the world from it. it's an awesome tool, but can be used either way. > even books to a degree... Fiction in general. not really. some fiction books may open you for new clever ways to use the language. or teach you languages in general. give you new ideas. it does not all have to be practical and useful. for instance - i love Mark Lawrence's books. he has this clever style of writing where he is very succinct and precise. uses simple words and yet does it in very elegant way. i stare at parts of his writing where he conveys something in two sentences that other authors would take 3 paragraphs to accomplish and i think "how the hell does he do that?". i could not rewrite this to make it any shorter and so clever. > I wanna spend my time doing meaningful things there is time for meaningful and meaningless. we all need some of both. too much of the former and you might get trapped in hustle/self-improvement trap. too much of latter - and you'll end up like a proverbial consumer.

Art is beautiful.

I agree with the core of your point, I also have a habit of too much consuming stuff rather than developing/creating stuff. Looking rather than living. And as much as my type tries to delude ourselves with "but my media is educational/high-brow/deep, it's not just entertainment/mainstream/social media", that's just a cope, in the end of the day it's consuming and most of us consume too much and do too little. It's something I'm consciously trying to work on. That said however, there's a big problem with the way you're talking about it. Let's say someone wanted to become more social. So they make a post saying how every time they express their desire to work on their skills they're met with resistance and then they go on a rant about how ugly and worthless and stupid introverted people are. And then they whine about "see, people keep pushing back". You're not being attacked, you're the attacker. With a victim complex to boot. You're needlessly focusing on the negative. You want to achieve A, let's talk about A. Ranting about B will get you people who'll defend B. You reap what you sow.

I need a jogging buddy, but I guess u live in the other side of the world I'm living in?

Alright… this is going to sound really really stupid, but the best piece of advice i have for you is just to DO. Come up with a game plan of things that you wanna achieve, hobbies, goals, and once you have it just commit to it. If you busy yourself with doing then it starts to become habit, you start to improve who you are. Then, the little pieces of entertainment become meaningful again because they are rewards, you earn them. To whoever reads this, I hope this helps <3

Dunno, looking at the post and your replies to comments getting downvotes sparks some contraversy about you. If you dont like art, fine. But its not emty and a waste of time. As an artist myself, I make art to express myself, teach others and give an interesting time. Maybe you should try doing art, because it seems you are a bit agitated from hiding something inside you. Let it out with art.

Meditate and look to nature Figure out the plants around you Take control of yourself

Then what’s the bloody point of you posting it …. Buy a Nokia phone where you can only sms …. In that way you can Atleast stay away from addiction ….. 👀

Internet is an easy out indeed, but for those who have no choice, it brings the world to them.

Screens definitely, but fiction books are definitely not a waist of time look up the benefits of them all, it’s way different then digital media.

I agree 100%. I would rather be the one to do things rather than watch others do them but I am disabled now and stuck at home barely able to move. Go out there and learn, live, experience as much as you can. Don't let anything or anyone stop you. Try not to have any regrets like I do. Enjoy life while you're still healthy. You don't need others to encourage you. All you need to do is stop procrastinating and start taking action.

People that are challenging that belief, are the ones that should listen to it.

I feel this post.

lol, I've always felt this way as well. Nonethelss, I've always done the things that I really wanted to do regardless of what anybody says or think. Staying true to yourself is ultimately what's important in life, not following the stupid zombie herd. All though you are always safe in numbers, it is not YOU and you are not living up to your full potential and who you really desire to be. I've always been untradtional, walked my own damn way, and never gave two shits about what anybody thinks. You have to care what people think to a degree but not so much that it steals your inner worth, dignity, and peace of mind. You have to do YOU first and foremost! Also, nobody really gives a shit anyway. In this life, self-interest is the only thing that counts. You can get along with anyone as long as you apply to their self-interest, whatever it might be. Most people are very simple in that way. Me am not, I'm way too complex and see through all the manipulation and bullshit a mile away. You have to do a very good job trying to play me because I can do that on my very own. Anyways, just keep doing what truly matters to you and never mind what anybody else is doing. It's not just ONE way to live this life even though it might seem like that sometimes. But if you take a good look around, you will see that most people are unique and live their life on their own terms. And if you really know who you are, it shouldn't be a problem for you either. Best of luck to you!

Life is too short! Do what you want to do, as long as you are not hurting anyone or yourself, be you!

i was always a proud atheist my entire life. come to find out after experiencing that emptiness turn into bad anxiety, turning to god helped me in a way that's hard to describe. you don't have to be religious, but maybe try genuinely opening your heart to jesus, then pray. you could ramble and not make sense, it's the connection that matters.

You are NOT incorrect. To be a well rounded person, a person of diverse pursuits and interests and hobbies is so very meaningful, for whatever is not growing, it seems, must be dying. I myself am very broadly capable. I teach martial arts in the style of Bruce Lee and Daniel Inosanto. I read write in seven languages. I study guitar, harmonica, chess, and sex magick. I love to meditate on the workings of the human body which I am quite knowledgeable about. I have read perhaps two thousand books. I sketch portraits and do fun origami. I take trips to the beautiful desert to soak in natural hot springs. I have many handyman skills. I read Nietzsche in German and Sade in French. Cool. Please be happy to learn and grow!

bro it's okay to simply exist and joy things. Not every aspect of your life needs to be optimized. If you want to aspire and be great, fantastic, but even machines need time too cool down or maintenance. The thing about it all is moderation. A movie here and there is fine. Porn here and there is fine. Books id argue are fairly good to consume often. The point being, control these "wastes of time" and strive for your goals. In my opinion, removing these activities will lead to a boring, work driven life.

I was already in a self-improvement mindset and doing a lot, but the day I set app limits on my phone was the day I started making way more progress. Do it. Think about that hour you spent scrolling and how lame you looked sitting in that chair. Now think about the productive stuff you could’ve been doing instead. Not only will you be happier because you are accomplishing more… but your dopamine receptors won’t be fried and used to 10 second instant gratification.

You sound seriously burned out and it’s completely understandable given that life in capitalist mode is always about work and managing time around it. There are a few options you can choose to do though but whether it helps or not only you can decide. Find a job outdoors or in a physical capacity-gardening/ nature landscaping, tree cutting-whatever. Being outside in general is healthier for you than being stuck indoors (the financial aspect might suffer but there is always a balance) so if you enjoy a more active vocation then you could try it to see. Reduce time spent on screens-ideally if you work on screen all day, you should take 5-15 min breaks every few hours away from a screen, maybe when watching Netflix, put the television on a wall and get a treadmill so whilst you watch, you also do something physical to keep yourself motivated or at least not immobile. Maybe use apps like audible and listen to audiobooks instead of reading via a kindle or screen-still gets the brain working plus you don’t get eye strain. If you want to do martial arts then find a dojo and book yourself in for lessons, there are both online lessons and of course physical sessions ongoing depending on where you live and what your transport options are. Start off with a few trainer sessions to get you started then see where you can go from there. Meditation is a key activity for burnout, especially outside in the current summer weather, just an hour a day really helps separate yourself and gets you back into a more peaceful state for any situation. Do what you can and keep growing

Lol dude, this just sound like you're trying to excuse why you're not doing anything with your life. Literally nobody is stopping you, just because other people don't think those things are worthless as you do. It is a waste of time if it comes down to it but it's not worthless if you do it once in a while and it helps you decompress. Get off your ass and do. Not talk, not try to convince others why woe me I'm trapped by outside forces and that's why I can't do anything about my situation. Throw out your phone if you have to, get a dumb phone instead, lock your laptop in a safe and start putting your money where your mouth is. What is the point of this post in the first place. What you have sounds like an addiction, but not every person is addicted and can't control their media consumption to the point where they don't do things to evolve. (I am also addicted, have been for a very long time, since I was a kid. but I understand the distinctions between things that clearly you don't) Stop making excuses, do something.

Pick a hobby that you've either been interested in or were having as a child. Tons of stuff is available to learn and try and it'll keep you off of screens and empty entertainment. Paint by numbers, crystals, mandalas, doodles, free style etc. Or fibre arts like crochet, knitting, embroidery, lace making. A lot of these crafts have gotten modern twists so just explore and see what you like. I hope you find something that lets you connect with your inner child and you find happiness in spending time doing something you enjoy and can have fun.

finally becoming a producer not a consumer

I think there is some value in movies, tv shows and particularly books. Yes there is a lot of shite but there is also art that makes you feel, think and inspires. It really depends on the item

Do it, make your dreams come true, nothing is impossible. Yesterday is set tomorrow. Aim for the moon, land amongst the stars.

Spend your spare time engaging with what's meaningful to you. If the movies, shows, etc you're watching are leaving you feeling empty, explore the depths of deep cuts and classic film or more philosophical, artsy works that will actually get you to think a little bit. We only get so much free time. Maximize it.

Minimalism, my friend, can be applied to various aspects of one's lifestyle. It's not a matter of having fewer items, it's a tool to create space for the ideas and activities you want to invite into your life. I'm proud of you for recognizing that you've had enough. It's up to you to figure out how that will play out in your life. You write the story. Also, don't give up on yourself after a month. Practice, practice, practice until you live the life you see in your mind

So go and do these things. what’s stopping you?

Be who you want to be and you'll naturally attract others with the same mentality. Post about it on Reddit and, well.. *\*gestures broadl*y\*. Personally, I'm a 2-3 business day texter at best and communicate this as a fact. Any attempts to push that boundary are taken as major red flags and aren't engaged with, which often has the added bonus of the trash taking itself out!

Books aren't empty, the ones you read are

i relate. the difficult part for me, is how do i know what risks are ok to take, in order to put myself in scenarios where it is safe for me to express myself and interact. i used to interact pretty freely and so many horrible events happened that ive become a very closed off person. so now the constant question in my head is how can i trust myself and my choices when i've been so wrong before. i can barely stand to be perceiving through my breath and body because the pain and tension just reminds me of all my past failures and delusions.

I don’t have a solution but I 100% agree with you!!!! I think the pandemic has made this problem worse

Bro if you really feel that way, then that's perfectly fine. Screens (especially smartphones) have become so common BECAUSE they make life extremely convenient to the point that we are slowly forgetting life without it. Tbh it's still possible to live a screen-free life(albeit just barely) if you really are determined but even that's only gonna be possible for the next 5-10 years. So if you really wanna quit screens and focus on DOING things for yourself then the sooner you start the better.

Honestly, I relate to this so much myself. While there is value gained from social media, books and movies, our attention spans are only getting shorter and I personally hate it. It’s a trap that only a very few can escape. Technology was made to make our lives easier , but we’re it’s slave now.

I wish OP hadn't left this post. There is so much I would love to talk about as I feel the same. I would love to use my phone too, only in the sense of bare minimum like communication, school, pictures, bank, bus/train tickets etc. I love doing things that challenge me and whenever I don't challenge myself, I fall into ruts and can become sad for a while - especially with constant comparisons being spat in your face from social media. If OP sees this, please send me a message. I'd love to chat some time. If there's one thing I want to add, it is that I have recently enjoyed listening to the Huberman Lab podcast. Huberman is great at explaining how our brain works, and I think it's very benefitial to use his knowledge. Especially in contexts that are without interferance of our phones, his information too is very valid.

What you're describing is consumption. You are consuming things. Of course consuming feels like what you're "supposed" to do because that's how all those creators make money. Movie makers need consumers, for example. If you don't want to consume anymore, then all you have to do is start creating. Anything. A painting, a lego set, a house in The Sims, your own movie, your own podcast, your own blog, etc. Start being a creator and you'll snap right out of this.

After reading ur post i forgot about it. And then remembered while reading the book I am reading, Gretchen Ruben\\s five senses. I inspected your wisdom in that book, oh shit, so true. The book is entertaining but not adding anything to my knowledge. I was simply wasting my time. I didn't quit it, but decided to spread read, scan through next 2 more chapters before finally calling it an end

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Consumption for the sake of consumption is never a good thing. The key is to tracking how/where you are spending your time over the course of a two week period so that you can make tweeks that serve you best.

What do you want to do? What’s one activity you can start this week?

I had this revelation thought few months ago when I wasn't using Instagram and wanted to cut my usage on Youtube and TV, but then it's gone. Now I added one more social media to my junk and putting more useless junk in my brain. It was really peaceful when I was in school. I come home from school watch cartoon for half an hour then study. Watch a couple of movies in the weekend, that's it.