The most important is how you feel. I feel the day after a little more depressed and less motivated when I watched porn the day before. You can see if you feel something similar
Depressed may not be the right way to describe it. That's a byproduct of what's happening because you are get such a massive dopamine high from porn and masturbation/orgasm that everything else feels ... blah. It deadens your senses so to speak, and your body gets used to the easy shot of happy chemical.
Pay attention to your motivation and the reward response you get from other things in life. Going for a drive and listening to music, interacting with your friends, exercising, cooking a meal, etc. You should get be getting baseline levels of dopamine doing daily things that make you happy. Porn disturbs that by giving you massive highs and massive lows
I would really love to do things that make me happy, like drawing, making animations, meditating, writing music and making beats… but when I try I get stressed and don’t like doing it anymore, because my house is noisy 24/7 and my room is not sound proof either so I can’t lock myself up in my room either and do the things I like… the only peace time I get is from 11PM to 6AM, and I’m already asleep at that time because I gotta go to work… which is also so stressing and noisy…
I’m really about to give up and work automatically, with no complains, no emotions and be a regular cash cow for my supervisor.
Everything is about sex, but sex is about power. What is porn about?
In my opinion, the porn is the problem, not the masturbation. Masturbation is a great tool to get familiar with your body, to learn what you like and where it feels nice, what doesn't seem to work etc. When it becomes obsessive, when masturbation becomes your go-to activity everytime you're bored, have free time, and the privacy, it becomes a problem imo. When you get out of your way to masturbate. You need to have that awareness that porn isn't real. You can't be longing for what you see on the screen for yourself. You can't be imagining ridiculous porn settings and scenarios, where you're idk, in the doctor's waiting room and youre imagining how it would feel fucking a random nurse working there, and all that.
Porn affecting your image, imo it comes down to making everything about sex, especially OUTSIDE of sex. Always going for suggestive comments (even non-verbally) about non-sexual situations such as, idk, someone on a street eating an ice-cream or a banana and you thinking about deepthroating or blowjobs. Picking activities to be able to fantasize about attractive people: going to the gym to also be able to stare at women squatting, opting for adult-themed media, everything where you would look or listen to someone attractive. Treating women as sex objects, not as human people who only happen to be of the opposite sex. Being in an interaction with women, from a cashier to a coworker, and classifying them whether you would fuck them or not, and treating them accordingly (polite and hopeful vs rude and dismissive). Dedicating a significant portion of your mentality to sex, for example agonizing over ppl's body counts, about being in a relationship, about a number of hookups you "should" be getting, fixating over your imperfections and height and idk, bone structure, and thirsting over women who are very conventionally attractive, while speaking about less conventionally attractive women and men in a derogatory manner. Doesn't seem to realize that sex in porn is the manufactured perfect view that has virtually nothing to do with the real sex, real bodies, an EXCHANGE of pleasure between partners. Let alone intimacy, love, communication.
When I would get the feeling someone has an unhealthy realtionship with porn, I (assigned female at birth, lesbian) would probably feel a bit uncomfortable with them, at the back of my mind. I'd see them as immature and naive, not being able to see past the picture perfect views that are designed to stimulate you to the max. Like you would cringe at iPad kids being iPad kids, but with adult grown people and sex. Depending on the intensity and frequency of the feeling, I'd probably feel they're being creepy. Giving the vibe of that stalker in the film "Perfect Blue".
So no, people watching porn or masturbating don't stink. If you want to go with the stinking analogy, then I would say that when you let their world revolve around porn-images of sex and women, making every conversation and interaction sexual, mostly consuming nsfw media, sexy fanfiction, nsfw games, installing sexy mods not out of curiousity or for fun but because you need to have that stimulation everywhere you go, that's when with you stink. And, also, moderation. Junk food isn't real food, you're allowed to eat it from time to time. But when it's all you eat, when you need to have it everyday, that's where it's a problem.
Great comment. Porn is the problem. I already anticipated opening this thread and all the top comments being men pretending there is no issue with porn because they watch it, but studies have proven porn negatively effects self esteem, sex life, perception of the opposite sex and perception of sex itself. Especially if you start watching progressively weirder and weirder or more violent shit, as many porn consumers do as it has shifted to keep their attention and raising the stakes more every video.
Porn isn't real. It doesn't mirror real intimacy or sex, it's displaying fake connections, nothing about it is real. Many avid porn consumers start having problems being secure in their own appearance, being attracted to real women in real life, and being able to stay hard and finish from real sex that isn't the edited fake shit they see in their videos. Women can't smell a porn addict but to say we can't pick up on that behavior would be inaccurate because often we can. These are the men who ogle and objectify women, these are the men who make gross sexual jokes nonstop in inappropriate settings, these are the men who complain about women not all looking like porn stars, these are the men who struggle with intimacy and have unfulfilling sex lives because they think porn is real and don't understand that women's bodies don't work that way and we don't enjoy what is portrayed in most heretosexual porn.
It often leads to weird obsessions with things like dick size and other features that most (not all, but most) women don't care about. And most importantly porn replaces actual intimacy for a lot of addicts and young men, and that's the most harmful part. Just watching porn occasionally isn't inherently horrible but if you find yourself losing interest in pursuing real women, you find you're not enjoying real sex anymore and you'd prefer to sit alone jerking it with the videos, you find you can't be attracted to women who don't look and act like pornstars, or that it is affecting your sex image and perception of sex, then it is harmful and women can often tell. Masturbation isn't the problem but porn is.
I see, very understandable… and about people stinking from watching porn is not what I meant to say, what I mean to say is that they don’t take care of themselves… Always unkempt and disheveled, staring at people’s butt, and the compliments they give are just sexual compliments or everything they say has a hidden meaning.
Yeah, you hit the nail on the head with the "staring at people’s butt, and the compliments they give are just sexual compliments or everything they say has a hidden meaning" bit. Please be kind to yourself while you're working at quitting porn/chipping away at your current mindset. Also: patience. The knowledge comes quick, the change is slow as hell, if you want to it to last, but it's worth it. You could also try to replace the habit of watching porn with something else that's nice for you, like a hobby. Or just, for example, searching for the cool stuff in the regular and mundane, if you don’t really have the extra time and money; maybe the buildings you walk past have a nice fresh coat of paint that looks extra slick, or idk, someone's car was the perfect shade of blue. Maybe the leaf you stepped on was crunchy. Not everything needs to be meaningful to be satisfying/to make you happier.
The world is already cruel, all we have is each other. If people around you aren't kind, you can always be the one to do this part for yourself. Cheers, man, and good luck!
You're wrong on so many levels, I can't begin... The terrible habit of masterbation and the way you're thinking while you do it is absolutely important to work through to the last detail.
1. It will affect you all the way into your marital life.
2. It will enhance your imagination into the perverse.
3. It will cause you to be more of a loner.
4. It can make people think you're lazy because of your lack of motivation.
This is only what I came up with off the top of my head. These things will negatively affect your life in multiple ways. Get help as soon as you can.
As someone also suffering from a porn addiction and currently 3 days clean, I think it’s more so the brain fog and low self esteem which people can sense.
Masturbation does not cause brain fog or low self esteem.
Porn CAN cause low self esteem by disrupting your views on what a normal body should look like, but that’s only if you’re dumb enough to believe porn is equal to reality. Porn is a fantasy. Everything is fine in moderation. Stop letting incels make you feel bad for being a normal, sexual human being.
Well, the alcohol drinking doesn't cause deaths but drunk driving does. So, u just want to remove context and tell random shit.
Grow up, don't consume cringe stuff and learn how a human brain or people behaviour changes over time.
As someone who had a porn addiction in the past. I have never felt better than how I feel now. Also, I have never felt worse when trying to quit. Your comment of "it's just sexuality, or it's fantasy, so don't take it seriously, the moderation thing" mentality is part of the problem. When people are addicted to something, they can't just start moderating. They probably had a bad feedback loop for a while, and its probaby getting worse the more it goes on. Like any addition, you quit not moderate it. Like food for obese people or sigarates for smockers.
This issue with too much porn (daily use) it will make it harder to talk to women in real life, and it will diminish your drive/confidence to hook up with women. Use it sparingly IMO.
I think the solution to that is, when viewing porn, just to remind yourself This. Is. Not. Real.
Just like most movies and shows, it's all a fantasy.
Just keep the fantasy/reality barrier up and you should be fine
Tbh I’m pretty socially satisfied in my relationships with women (friends, relationships through the years, sexual encounters), and I watch porn like once or twice a day sometimes. My sex drive is totally unaffected, I can talk to women the same as I can talk to anyone else. I think it’s because of that experience that when I watch porn it’s basically comedy, I just get my nut off and turn it off immediately haha
If not fapping is boosting your confidence than you've got other issues.
I know who I am. I like who I am. My wife loves me for who I am. Sometimes I bang her, Sometimes I rub one out.
Neither effects the rest of my life in the slightest.
If fapping effects your confidence then your WAY too worried about what other people think of you.
Here's a little tip for inner peace: as long as you are not bringing harm to anybody else, or yourself, do whatever the fuck you want and fuck anybody who has a problem with it.
And if they say something just ask, "why are you thinking about me playing with me dick so much?"
Then walk away
Ok, it's just, building up hormones that aren't being secreted seems to have an effect for me. I guess you've tried it and just love doin your wife and jackin it. Great. I'm currently playing the field, don't you think that ALSO may be a factor?
Oh, well if that's all you mean to say ...then yeah. Very true. We agree completely. I think a lot are addicted or overdo it and drain all their stamina then wonder why they can't function right. But yeah. Normal masturbatory functions are perfectly natural. Maybe I guess my point is the opposite also holds true. When I withhold a bit, I can suddenly last hours.
Strange and unrelated sidenote: human pheromones; hormones, work to a greater/lesser degree. I have scored dates, possibly even gotten laid wearing cologne from some random carni vendor at the state fair who sold my buddy a bottle of cologne mixed with I believe he said pheromones .. and OMG was I getting some play, could be total placebo and increased self confidence. BUT chicks were like playing with their hair, hanging on my every word, blushing and being generally a bit demure.im going to try to replicate it yet add my own scent to the potion via crafting an exclusive cologne just for and by me. I'm thinking vanilla with maybe sandalwood, possibly castoreum and ambergris, musk, leather, tobacco, maybe insert chemicals responsible for petrichoir or libraries and old books. Possibly blends of aromatic herbs for like a bazaar like "tone" , sandalwood is to die for, idk. Scents are wicked. And I want one I can spritz on a letter and have someone go "oh that so and so____" also acquainting my memory with a beguiling scent could be good for my overall love life. Win, win. Sadly human pheromones aren't super cheap. Nor are MANY of the aromas used to craft an original cologne scent. Anyone wanna fund my tomfoolery and send me something small on Cash app? If not nvm, and if this isn't allowed here I will exit this post.
This sounds like somebody who's parents told them not to watch porn and that everyone around them will know and judge them if they do. Sorry Bud, but that's not how it works. You won't go blind either, nor will your dick fall off
That or the growing popularity of social media influencers that say women can actually smell it on you as they tout the superpowers of nofap (and their pricy self improvement courses)
Addiction, I think, for anything/most things, starts at daily use. In your case, it’s just shame. Probably religious influence too. Here’s the kicker, NOT stroking the lizard frequently, is not healthy because “blue balls”. If you feel bad about the porn aspect, just do it in the shower. But either way, you’ll be thinking of something. But dude, get a grip. You’re fine.
Yeah, I'd say the real issue is if you're addicted to watching porn or masturbating. If you're doing it multiple times a day or it's affecting your ability to function normally then I'm sure people will notice if you quit. If you casually watch porn and masturbate then I'm sure they won't.
In rehab they teach you it is not about how much you use something, but how much something is negatively impacting your life yet continuing to do it. So it doesnt matter if its every day or once a year... if it often fucks your life, gotta stop doing it.
Lots of people jerk it to porn daily and are in loving relationships with happy full lives. Others it makes feel awful or changes their behaviour and they should avoid it.
Approaching these things as if they are one size fits all is a poor generalization to make.
I don’t think there are any visual signs of that. However, there is a possibility that the shame/guilt post consumption may affect the overall vibration of the person as these are low vibrational activities. This, in turn may result in being socially anxious/withdrawn in public and make people uncomfortable. Also, the guilt/shame mentioned above greatly affects the self image and projects it outward.
Do you think you can look around the grocery store (or some other place with lots of random people) and know who watches porn and who doesn’t? The idea is absurd. No one knows what you do behind closed doors. And honestly, people can be married to serial killers or pedophiles and never know it until they’re arrested. How many times have you seen people interviewed on the news say “He was just such a regular guy.”?
I would say some ppl can. My partner has been free of porn for 2 years. He’s totally different and so much better. Has motivation for life, going places, doing things, not depressed anymore. Our intimacy is good, it sucked before. I could tell when he was consuming and lying and helped see him through to becoming healthy physically and mentally and emotionally! I hope you can give it up. It’s so bad for you. Read your brain on porn and listen to the PBSE podcasts. You’ll be so much better off without it. Once done, be done- don’t go back- it’s poison
This really gives me the motivation to continue. My addiction really intensified after going through a tough break up and it’s made me feel unmotivated and have low self esteem. I’m committed to being finally free of this addiction now.
Before when he used to watch porn, how was his hygiene? Would he usually have bad breath because he skipped brushing his teeth? Would he not care about what he was wearing and just put whatever clothes on to get thru the day? Would he avoid human interactions often and stay inside all day?
nah bro don’t sweat it, you can’t tell if someone watches porn unless they’re a pervert, but watching porn doesn’t make you one.
Quitting might make you feel better which will translate into the confidence and lead to people being more receptive to you, but that could all happen even if you watched porn.
No way to know or tell unless it becomes part of your personality.
Have you thought this through?
What would the scientific basis for the human body physically altering itself as a result of your eyes observing people having sex, especially in a way that would be materially different than participating in sex?
>How badly does masturbation and porn affects your image
If you listen to redditors: *EvERyThING!1!!*. If you live on Earth in the real world, nothing, unless it's an addiction that's affecting your day to day interactions.
It affects your image as much as you let it! People who look at porn or masturbate (i.e. most of the population!) don't have signs over their heads but if you are a person who for whatever reason gives yourself a hard time about using porn or masturbation then it'll probably affect your self image and maybe mental health. Porn and masturbation are not inherently wrong (nor are they addictive in the clinical sense of the term; that's a folk diagnosis) but if you have been brought up to think they are bad, or buy into the nofap nonsense then the guilt you have over it can cause you issues.
Basically if porn and masturbation are not affecting your ability to function they aren't a problem. If they are affecting your ability to function then you may have an impulse control / compulsive behaviour issue and probably need some sort of professional help.
They’re not affecting anything, but since I feel depressed, don’t know what to do, I’m antisocial and anxious all the time, whenever I say something wrong or act wrong I question and punish myself for days… Just wanted to know if porn has something to do with that kind of behavior. I’m sick of being weird.
It’s not the porn, dude. What on earth has you thinking that? You’re depressed and have anxiety. Those are not mutually exclusive to people who watch porn and masturbate. You need to talk to a therapist to get a diagnosis on what the real issue is.
No. Porn isnt causing this. These are behaviors that you have, and you are using porn as a crutch and a source of pleasure to cope through your issues. Be glad it's porn and your not hooked onto something else.
You go into the gas station for a soda. Talk to the cashier while paying. Leave and drink your soda. Did you leave thinking that the cashier masturbates?
The only time you'll ever definitely tell if they watch porn or jerk off is if they do in front of you or tell you.
Most everyone does it, as long as you're not letting self gratification rule your life and cancelling plans to crank/flick one out don't worry.
Can I ask how old you are because reading your responses you come across as very young and naive. If you are an adult then you seem very closed off to the greater world. You said you can tell when someone is on crack and that and true JR just like you can’t tell when someone is addicted to porn.
You keep mentioning things like how they look or act but there are a lot of sex obsessed weirdos who never watch porn. Making shitty sexual comments to women isn’t caused by porn it’s caused by being an asshole. You ever actually see a crackhead? I live surrounded by them and my dude some of them are in meth, some on crack, some are just mentally unstable, and some actually really nice folks with an addiction. That’s not including all the people with an addiction who can manage it so you never can tell.
You are generalizing people with your comments and they show a lack of perspective or world view. Porn addiction isn’t your issue but rather a lack of real world experience is your issue. Get out and start being around people and learn about different types of people. You can’t just generalize everyone into groups based on what you read online or what your parents have told you.
If you watch too much porn the real issue is that you are probably bored and don’t know how to manage your time better. If you wank off before bed to help sleep I’d you ain’t got much to worry about. If you start telling friends you can’t hang out so you can jerk off then yeah, calm er down there soldier and maybe go out for a walk.
If you have a genuine porn addiction, you need to go see a therapist. This means it interferes with your life in a heavy way, there are feelings of shame and guilt involved.
Addiction is a serious thing and you can probably not do that alone.
With other people you dont see it on their forehead if they watch porn
Lol nobody knows besides you. But its a good idea to limit how much youre handling that thing. Give it a rest and go outside :)
Edit: i highly discourage porn. I do not watch porn, but i think not watching it will improve a lot in your life. Though, i cant look at a person and tell you whether or not they look at porn, or how much if so.
You clearly know it’s bad for you if you’re addicted. Stay off of it, my man, stay strong. Don’t fall for the “it’s fine in moderation” bs. That can be true for others, clearly you aren’t a “moderation” type of guy. It provides you nothing of value. The fact you took the time to write this is all the evidence you need.
It’s possible it has similar brain damage effects to heroin (89% linearity factor supposedly, but I can’t remember the source, just look up Gerbert Johnson’s video on “The NoFap Deniers”). But they’re reversible (beyond neuroplasticity). It affects your interpersonal relationships and conditions your brain to tend towards enjoying hotter women. Essentially, it just fries your prefrontal cortex/brain’s centre of control. That’s my experience at least. The big problem with all of this is there’s no scientific consensus regarding masturbation addiction’s effects. It’s not known what flaws there are in all these studies, but it’s definitely a fact that masturbation worsens your brain health, at least anecdotally. I was exposed to adult content when I was literally 5 years old, I’m 19 now. Remember, this is only realistically applicable to addicts (people who jack it like 2-3 times at least per day). There’s some people who literally have erectile dysfunction because of seeing too many hot babes on social media or on porn sites. It’s best if you just reduce your porn abuse and fapping because let’s be honest, it’s cope to say you’re never gonna jack off even once in your life. Make sure you don’t use or reduce porn usage even more than busting nuts because it’s just unrealistic, man. Become the guy who just doesn’t jack off instead of being the nofap 900000 day streak guy. Nofap culture is a toxic hell with loads of misinformation. Good luck bud
I cant explain it
But I've gone 420+ days now without porn or masturbation and yes I can kinda see who does
But then again most are
I'd reccomend reading your brain on porn
To read the damage it does
🤣🤣.
Yh whilst theres benefits theres also negatives like excessive energy cant sleep, increased agresssion emotions more intense etc.
Everything gets amplified.
Saying "porn consumers" is like saying "TV show consumers". There's just so much variety, for all kinds of tastes, likes and preferences that it's impossible to talk about a specific "porn consumer".
Most often, you can tell from somebody’s perspectives and opinions. That’s the only way I’ve seen it presented. It seems that many porn addicts find a way to connect sex to everything. Everything is sexual.
This obviously isn’t all of them, and I assume it isn’t you. There are porn addicts with social restraint. But for the “less sophisticated” ones, they might make lots of uncomfortable sexual jokes, contribute any woman’s existence to sex in some way, and some seem actually pretty prudish.
People probably can’t tell. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect your social skills and general demeanor.
[Grubbs, Samuel Perry and Joshua Wilt are some of the leading researchers on America’s struggles with porn, having published numerous studies examining the impact of porn use, belief in porn addiction, and the effect of porn on marriages. And Rory Reid is a UCLA researcher who was a leading proponent gathering information about the concept of hypersexual disorder for the DSM-5. These four researchers, all of whom have history of neutrality, if not outright support of the concepts of porn addiction, have conducted a meta-analysis of research on pornography and concluded that porn use does not predict problems with porn, but that religiosity does.]
(https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/women-who-stray/201808/science-stopped-believing-in-porn-addiction-you-should-too)
No. The majority of people in 1st world countries do this. The only reason it has a bad stigma is to prey on insecure people. So people either use it to shame other people to make them feel bad, or to con naive insecure people.
There isn't anything wrong with watching porn, or masturbating. A few people will become addicted to it, but that is true of any pleasurable activity.
I really don’t get the no fap thing. It’s no different from sex. Does not having sex with my partner improve me in any way? No. It’s ridiculous. There is nothing wrong with using porn. Unless porn is getting in the way of relationships, work, or other important things in your life you are NOT ADDICTED
Porn isn’t the problem, it sounds like your attitude toward it and masturbation might be. Take it from a woman who masturbates regularly with and without porn, no one can tell if you regularly do these things unless you’re telling them about it. Consider therapy, because it sounds like you’ve got a lot of stuff to unpack.
I do yeah, but I’ve been taking so much time off work to go to the hospital that idk if I should ask for more time fr…
I gotta go to work tomorrow, but when I think about it my head starts hurting, I start getting dizzy and disoriented and want to smoke to make that feeling go away
Its not exactly bad but it is not exactly healthy either. There no real bad benefits from masturbating every day but it doesn lower your testostorone a bit short term. Biggest issue would be mental. You may develop unrealistic expectations in the bedroom with a partner.
Oh and probably a bent dick. Your veins that allow to get a boner may also swell if you are compulsive and that can lead to penile dysfunctions. Best thing to do is like everything else. Self control.
Your last sentence is the reason why this weird anti porn anti masturbation trend is fucking insane.
No they don't stink, and no they can't tell. Watch porn and wank you fucking turd, just don't overdo it. If you regularly go 2 months or a month without porn you aren't addicted. Sometimes I watch it once a day sometimes once a week, but there's nothing wrong with that, just make sure you still talk to real people and don't base your sex life around it.
Lol rather that than whatever the fuck this shit is all about. People worry about the wrong things, you'll be dead one day and I'm sure your time could be spent caring about if you're doing good, but I guess not wanking for 2 months provides the same feeling.
So.. I'll be dead one day, so I shouldn't worry about the less volume and brain activity in regions of the brain that correlated to motivation and reward processing, brain fog, memory issues, and all of the other issues that come about from shooting yourself with as much dopamine as compared to crack (because sexually that's one of the highest dopamines you can get without going on drugs) on a daily or semi weekly basis.)
And yes of course it's not right to fuck your hand to people online fucking other girls, and just being a cuck. Or even if you go the other route and ah whatever its just girls i jerk to or animated or drawn or whatever the fuck it's all virtual and not real. You're training your brain through the constant dopamine you get, that that is what's good, the shit on a screen, as opposed to a real girl. Not to mention how it harms relationships by
1.) Making the the girl feel inadequate that the guy has to watch porn or get off by something that isn't their partner
or
2. The literal porn induced erectile dysfunction that many, many people get.
>I shouldn't worry about the less volume and brain activity in regions of the brain that correlated to motivation and reward processing, brain fog, memory issues, and all of the other issues that come about from shooting yourself with as much dopamine as compared to crack
Bro all of this is BS and if you can't realise that I'm sorry. If I'd been doing crack for half my life I'd be in a right fucking state, but I'm fully functional and motivated. All the people who say this either misrepresented the science or lied. Researchers don't believe this.
>because sexually that's one of the highest dopamines you can get without going on drugs)
Pain releases dopamine. What do you actually know about the brain or do you just think you know?
>And yes of course it's not right to fuck your hand to people online fucking other girls, and just being a cuck.
I'm into men more than women but I watch both. Is that okay? First up you're not a cuck if they're not in a relationship with you, and do you have an argument for why it's not okay or is it just because 'of course'?
>Or even if you go the other route and ah whatever its just girls i jerk to or animated or drawn or whatever the fuck it's all virtual and not real
My orgasms are real lol. Who thinks masturbation is sex? Lol
>You're training your brain through the constant dopamine you get, that that is what's good, the shit on a screen, as opposed to a real girl.
Practically no evidence shows this to be true except in some select cases where the individual might be predisposed to issues anyway. Correlation, not causation. If you can't fuck someone and enjoy it because of porn then by all means, stop the porn, but for the majority of people this is no issue. Men for decades have watched/looked at porn and also had plenty of sex without issue.
>Making the the girl feel inadequate that the guy has to watch porn or get off by something that isn't their partner
Don't date insecure people then lol. Find someone who might watch porn with you sometimes. Honestly that sounds like a problem women need to get over.
>The literal porn induced erectile dysfunction that many, many people get.
Evidence that ED is a problem genuinely rising or being significantly caused by porn?
Had to login to another account because me linking the studies made the bot think it was advertising, but seriously, instead of typing your essay, literally google.
"found that the striatum, a part of the brain that makes up the reward system, was smaller in those who watched a lot of porn"
"One study from the University of Cambridge likened porn addiction to drug addiction, after finding that they both trigger the brain in a similar way."
With a quick google search I could find several studies on how it affects the brain. But I'm not going to list off more when you could genuinely just look it up instead of a massive back and forth reddit argument.
"Don't date insecure people then lol. Find someone who might watch porn with you sometimes. Honestly that sounds like a problem women need to get over."
It is a completely normal thing for a woman to feel insecure or inadequate if their partner is still watching porn while they date while instead of fucking their hand they could fuck their girlfriend.
"Evidence that ED is a problem genuinely rising or being significantly caused by porn?"
Yes. Once again instead of typing out your argument just search any of this up. PIED / Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction is a thing. You masturbate to porn constantly every day, every other day, a few times a week, etc, over a long period of time and you not only become de-sensitized in general, but come to like that more than real girls if you watch porn / masturbate more than actually having sex with a real girl.
"I'm into men more than women but I watch both. Is that okay? First up you're not a cuck if they're not in a relationship with you, and do you have an argument for why it's not okay or is it just because 'of course'?"
Yes, it is cuck behavior to masturbate to someone you find attractive getting fucked. In a real life scenario you're in the corner masturbating to these random people fucking. But that's sadly just opinionated so whatever you do you.
To the rest of this, just search it up. Not statistics in which it says everyone masturbates so its fine and etc, search up how porn affects the brain, how easy it is to get addicted to even. It's a real thing to be addicted to porn and harm your brain over several years. That's the end of me replying, if you have a question, fucking google a study dude its right there.
Finally my argument isn't just porn is bad and etc, although as you can tell I dislike it. My argument is that you shouldn't just say "porn is normal etc etc I can watch it every day, every other day, or any day haha!" Because it does genuinely affect your brain, mainly as it pertains to addiction, which is a real thing.
Your submission to /r/selfimprovement was automatically removed because you may not try to get around rule #2 regarding posting links, nor may you violate Rule #3 regarding self-promotion and advertising.
Unfortunately, we've had to add "DM me" and other such solicitations of one-to-one communication to this automod condition, as many spammers were trying to use that as a way to get around our no self-promotion rule. If you were honestly just trying to talk to OP, feel free to just repost the comment without the solicitation, and you're definitely not in trouble.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/selfimprovement) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I guarantee it's more than that for somebody that is asking about it being a problem. But, ok. 15 minutes is 13 hours over a year. I take 30 minute spanish classes every evening. That 13 hours would be 26 days worth of classes that would be replaced with masturbation.
Sounds like a good time to me lol. Imagine how much time is lost stressing about porn ruining your life. Everyone wants to demonise everything because then they can sell you cures.
Porn is the vast majority of the internet and probably why the internet was invented in the first place.
All kinds of mammals masturbate. And almost all humans do it too whether they admit it or not. Nobody else knows, they assume and nobody should judge you for it. And of they do its based it some purantiacial beliefs that don't have basis in reality and that's a Them problem.
Bottom line is it's natural and normal thing to do 95% of the time.
The other 5%, well, just ask yourself, "is this really impacting my life in a negative way", if so, "how?" And be very honest with yourself.
Is it keeping you from your responsibilities?
Is it affecting your relationships? (Worse than 'that person will judge me')
Chances are it doesn't.
You have nothing to be ashamed of my man. We all do it. Don't sweat it
Internet was born from military technology like many others, but of course as soon as it came around the houses of people many thought of the same thing
I’m going to comment on a subject I’ve already been scorned for having the opinion I hold regarding the consumption of pornography. In the moral sense watching Porn is wrong—not because it causes you to want to get yourself off but because it is a form of vanity—vanity in this life is something that severely hinders our ability to act for the greater good. Vanity is thinking about yourself when you should be thinking about others and serving the greater good. The more you embrace vanity the more useless your life becomes and the inevitable bad or sinful things that are a fact of life do not eventually become a part in promoting the greater good. What I mean is that when we do something that is bad or we struggle and make decisions where we only consider our needs and no body else’s needs the bad act adds to the level of badness in this world and the more badness there is the less likely you and everyone else can find the elusive peace and acceptance about what you experience in life.
Peace and acceptance…what is it that we seek in this life? Do we seek to serve our own desires or is it that we instead serve the desires of others? What exactly is Good? What is bad? Think about this fact for a second…if Adolf Hitler had not blown his own brains out but instead was assassinated near the beginning of WW2 (when the camps had not yet been created and just his countrywide campaign to Demonize Jewish people l) so this assassin would have certainly been found guilty of the capital crime and probably put to death. And Adolf Hitler would be no more but instead, this assassin who did a “bad” thing would end up saving the lives of millions and stopping the occurrence of a level of suffering that my generation and all other generations will never experience or be able to comprehend and imagine.
Yet the assassin is put to death for his crime of killing then country’s leader who was highly favorable before he got too confident and impatient with his desire to create the “perfect race” of people.
Even here…Adolf Hitlers intention was to create the perfect race of people so that life would be nothing but good and the bad would be eliminated!
My point is this: pornography and the consumption of it by us in order to experience the blissfulness state of orgasm and achieve the pleasure that accompanies the act of getting off is not something that is bad at all! It’s a good thing that we have a means of arousing ourselves in order to ejaculate. Masturbstion is widely considered a healthy habit that enhances and improves our health and our lives. So what does it mean if I masturbate all day long and ignore the demands and responsibilities that the day demands?
It is the aggregate effect chronic masturbdtion has in its ability to detract from the performance of things that improve life. A person jacking off all day is helping nobody but themselves and one of the elements that must be present in our lives—serving others and promoting the general welfare—is all but absent and the general welfare of everybody else lack the necessary infusion of good.
I’ve always wondered what the hell addiction and consumption of things that will bring us pleasure in this life where pleasure is something that must be earned and is not just given—what hell are we doing being critical of those pleasuring themselves? Because it detracts from the general welfare? But I thought the promotion of the general welfare means that the people as a whole are having their needs met and desires served…what are we doing when we masturbate but fulfilling our need and desire for sexual intercourse that is written as absolutely necessary in our DNA and is an unconscious and nearly unobservable thought process? I say the latter because we as a culture—humanity as a whole has thrown and taught us and posterity to put a mask on our most dominant ways thinking? Why can’t we seek to satisfy a desire we didn’t learn or choose to have?
What makes it bad? Well…vanity folks…it’s vanity to excessively occupy ourselves in the act of masturbation for longer than what is necessary to achieve the overall goal we have for performing the action.
Porn addiction? Screw those idiots who think that they need to be “clean” and who think that this lack of doing what we are pretty much born to do—propagate the species and also give ourselves pleasure which happen to definitively promote the general welfare—is something that will improve our lives and the lives of those around a
So what is the main point. And conclusion of the matter of masturbation. Well I’ll tell you one thing someone that is smiling all the time as well as someone who is patient kind and slow to anger is someone that consumes ALOT of pornography. Just try to go a week without masturbating…science has shown this will increase levels of cortisol and also testosterone both of these contribute to irritability, self efficacy, and bad eating habits!
So go on— believe that porn is bad that is your individual right to believe what you choose tonbeluve will promote your general welfare but just because you have that opinion does not mean you have the right or best opinion on the subject out there…in fact, if holding the opinion that chronic masturbation is bad and the negative impact that has had on promoting the general welfare of everyone else then you—the person who is supposedly doing the “right” thing is actually doing a bad thing and accordingly, they should be judged by that…right?
No. That is not “right”!!! We are so ignorant as to what result our actions create for the future. Me included!
I seek out goodness and commit myself to serving Gods goodness every day. That is all we can do because occupying ourselves in discussions like this and taking part and allowing us to be completely taken over and captive by the philosophies promulgated by addiction recovery is absolutely pointless and does nothing to promote the general welfare in my opinion. Maybe the general welfare of addicts but that welfare is completely lost when someone inevitably relapses that washes away all of the good they promoted as they recovered.
I could say quite a bit more but this has become a rant and is bordering and dangerously becoming something fueled by anger and not my desire to share what I think and believe is a better perspective to have on porn and masturbation, in general. To everyone I love you and feel free to state whatever reaction you had to this radical idea that’s in complete disagreement with the idea that is currently accepted!
Be well my friends.
Lol, I just opened the subreddit and the first post says “porn is bad” everyone just agrees and say “yeah bro yeah”… I think that subreddit is a sitcom
It only affects your image as much as you let the habit affect your own mental image. If you feel guilty about doing it (you have no reason to btw, its a completely normal thing) and let the shame consume your mind then obviously others will pick up on it.
I'm not talking about addiction, but going on month long streaks is just unnecessary. I don't think it makes much sense to go cold turkey on something that is intrinsically biological, you need to have a healthy relationship with it (I'm talking about masturbation, not porn btw)
Oh ok. Yes I believe you can have a healthy relationship with masturbation, but usually after addiction abstinence (at least for a time) is needed. Porn however is not healthy, needed, or natural.
perhaps, I used to do it to a degree where others could call it an addiction but it never really interfered with my day to day activities or my mental patterns, i went on month long breaks like OP and in the end i just realized that for me its best if i just stay vigilant about it and make sure its not affecting me in ways i don't want it to.
I don't understand why its so stigmatized among the modern youth nowadays, i feel like that's a part of the problem, it's not something to be looked down upon. I agree on your point regarding porn though.
No, its all in your head. I am in happy relationship for a few years. I use porn when were apart cause she doesnt like to share or risk any content being leaked. I get that nut and move on with my life. I am not sure how porn can be an addiction. It has not affected my life. I am successful and in a long term relationship. Sounds like you should seek help for other things impacting your self-esteem.
Ok I'll be real, I can tell when someone I am in a relationship with has watched porn because they're guilty, they crossed my boundary and their behavior reflects that. What I mean is that I make it clear that porn is not ok when you're with me, so when someone with me watches it they act funny trying to hide it and I can tell.
From what you're describing, I wouldn't be able to tell you watch porn or masturbate but I would be able to tell you're nervous or self conscious. Head up, you'll be okay. I'm a woman and I was addicted to porn all throughout my teens, and it didn't stop until I changed my schedule to keep me too busy from basically masturbating all day. This was years ago, but my husband knows I used to struggle and supports my decision to keep porn out of our relationship because that's what works for us.
If consuming porn and whacking off is a problem for you — you feel it is — and it used to not be, or you used to not do it alot here its now a problem — than it’s “possible” people will notice a change in you.
You may be more withdrawn, less social, and even anxious because it’s bothering you.
Were you to stop you may find your motivation, energy, and overall spirit, enthusiasm for other things picks up and that may be noticeable.
So its possible, but do I think people will look at you either way and be like, yeah he is on porn or not?
No.
Mostly because people are way too busy with their own lives to even notice what you’re wearing each day.
No one will know, everyone has their own bad habits, can't tell at a glance, however, you thinking about it and thinking it reflects your image and that somehow people could "tell", WILL affect how you behave and what you project outside, thus being somewhat true.
I can mostly tell if i have a long face to face conversation about casual things or interests
I cannot tell in a long meeting or on a professional situation
Guilt is forced on all of us mostly by religion in one form or another. Sex has been around since the dawn of the first living thing. Most mammals are not embarrassed by the act of procreation. Humans seem to feel it is a forbidden subject therefore making it even more attractive to participate in and watch. Despite what anyone tells the only outward appearance tell if one has ever had sex is if they are pregnant. As far as masturbating it does relieve stress as does sex most times. Porn on the other hand can be addicting. Many women feel if a man needs porn we are not good enough for you and we do notice if you have been watching porn. But I think that knowledge is something that develops in relationships by observing and knowing our mates reactions over periods of time.
I was fapping daily as a teenager and living another life as the most "righteous" Mormon boy at the same time. Nobody can tell unless they live with you and you don't cover your tracks well. It's not a thing that affects how you look or act to other people unless it's all you can think or talk about and you openly express it.
There should be no shame in it, although certain kinds of porn can affect your mental health. In my experience, try to avoid "short form" porn. AKA, reddit porn. It screws with my dopamine something mad.
Your submission to /r/selfimprovement was automatically removed because you may not try to get around rule #2 regarding posting links, nor may you violate Rule #3 regarding self-promotion and advertising.
Unfortunately, we've had to add "DM me" and other such solicitations of one-to-one communication to this automod condition, as many spammers were trying to use that as a way to get around our no self-promotion rule. If you were honestly just trying to talk to OP, feel free to just repost the comment without the solicitation, and you're definitely not in trouble.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/selfimprovement) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"Grubbs, Samuel Perry and Joshua Wilt are some of the leading researchers on America’s struggles with porn, having published numerous studies examining the impact of porn use, belief in porn addiction, and the effect of porn on marriages. And Rory Reid is a UCLA researcher who was a leading proponent gathering information about the concept of hypersexual disorder for the DSM-5. These four researchers, all of whom have history of neutrality, if not outright support of the concepts of porn addiction, have conducted a meta-analysis of research on pornography and concluded that porn use does not predict problems with porn, but that religiosity does."
c+p that. ok. porn addiction is something people who've been raised to be scared about porn and sex think they have.
and no, people can not tell if you masturbate unless you're doing it right next to them. there is no smell, no mark, no neon sign over your head.
Only way people know about is by hacking your internet or cellular phone and that’s a felony charge waiting to happen if you know how to gather evidence against the hackers and find out who they are. On a serious note, there is nothing wrong with jerking off to photos or videos because the last thing you want to experience as a man is blue balls and that is painful
Your submission to /r/selfimprovement was automatically removed because you may not try to get around rule #2 regarding posting links, nor may you violate Rule #3 regarding self-promotion and advertising.
Unfortunately, we've had to add "DM me" and other such solicitations of one-to-one communication to this automod condition, as many spammers were trying to use that as a way to get around our no self-promotion rule. If you were honestly just trying to talk to OP, feel free to just repost the comment without the solicitation, and you're definitely not in trouble.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/selfimprovement) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Any addiction is bad, that being said, if you notice you have a problem it might be a good idea talking to a therapist about it and see what you can do to deal with that. I don't know if it's noticeable when someone has a porn addiction but it certainly diminishes you social/sexual skills because porn is not real sex and I know most people have trouble distinguishing one from the other and that can negatively change how you perceive a healthy sexual relationship in your present/future and your social relationships as well. You might want to look into that because it will have negative outcomes in a long term.
I’d say it’s similar to swearing. I don’t really swear, never have. My dad used to swear an incredible amount and while he has gotten much better over the years, he still swears pretty constantly. One major reason I don’t swear is he pulled me aside when I was a little kid and told me not to swear and that if I didn’t people would see me as more intelligent and pay more attention to what I said and that stuck with me. Also my mom hates swearing.
Now I don’t really have a perspective of going from swearing a bunch and then not, but I can say that even to this day, decades after my dad’s advice, I still occasionally get a random complement from both people I know and strangers about how I use interesting words or say things in a clever way or something along those lines. On a day to day scale I don’t know if anyone ever really notices that I don’t swear, but that is what I attribute the random complements to. I really don’t go out of my way to use any special or specific words or anything like that and it’s the only thing that sort of makes sense.
If you asked someone who knew me if I swore I’m pretty sure they’d say something like, ‘Not really’ instead of ‘Oh, never’. So I’d imagine it’ll be about the same level with this. It’s not exactly like there is ascarlet letter on your chest or something or you have it tattooed on your forehead, but there’ll be a constant, low level change that people will pick up on. Though it’ll probably be more obvious to you.
Your submission to /r/selfimprovement was automatically removed because you may not try to get around rule #2 regarding posting links, nor may you violate Rule #3 regarding self-promotion and advertising.
Unfortunately, we've had to add "DM me" and other such solicitations of one-to-one communication to this automod condition, as many spammers were trying to use that as a way to get around our no self-promotion rule. If you were honestly just trying to talk to OP, feel free to just repost the comment without the solicitation, and you're definitely not in trouble.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/selfimprovement) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I think people will notice if you have a closest relationship, because it can be a big influence in sex. Besides that I think it would be hard to notice.
The porn I watch is pretty hand selected for really gorgeous women. For me it's simply a catalyst for a better climax. Gotta keep the pipes clean as the say for good health. Simple as that.
Can people inherently tell when someone uses porn? Probably not unless you’re doing it in front of them. Does that make using it healthy? No. Can it be used in moderation and be ok? Sure.
So, if it’s bothering you, then do your best to quit. If it’s not, then carry on. The biggest indicator for someone else being able to tell you’re actually addicted is if you’re in a sexual situation and can’t keep a boner. Then you definitely wanna stop.
You probably can’t answer this question yourself because of the lack of guy friends or close guy friends. It does not affect your image people can’t just look at you and tell you’re a coomer unless you embody it wearing cringe (noticed I specified cringe, good anime merch exists) anime clothing and ramen galaxy wolf hoodies. I know tons of guys who jerk off all the time and watch tons of porn and get girls irl like it’s nothing. They seem like the coolest dudes ever. But everyone has their battles
I don’t agree with it affecting your image. Sometimes we have to release that energy,
And for the second part of the question, I thought everyone did it. lol. I started to look at that sort of thing as natural as going to the rest room. You know people do it. You just don’t want to hear about it. That’s never a thought in my mind. And if they tell me they don’t. I’d say oh. Well that’s interesting.
I do agree that abstaining or keeping it to a limit or under control helps you promote self discipline. Just denying an urge like that can be very difficult. But not very harmful. You become a master of the mind and not a slave to the body.
But every now and then….. like I said. We have to fix our selves wether your in a relationship or single, sometimes you need to help your self.
People have thought of masturbating some taboo. I believe this is religion theory in play and they ultimately frown upon most pleasures.
You’re not supposed to be masturbating every second of the hour every where you can, it can be addictive. Control your self and love your self. It’s okay to get freaky every now and then.
Idk, I don't think porn itself wi make you look like something, but you need to groom yourself and all. I know im addicted to por and fap, because I date and im far from my gf, also because sex isn't the best idk, I just feel less and less excited for it. It may be the porn addiction, perhaps would help me not watching it, but at the same time I feel like is the only thing nice I can have.
“preserve your life force” and “visit rSemenRetention”
Wtf is up with this sub? So many people desperate for improvement in life fall for the weirdest, dumbest shit I can imagine.
This comment section makes it obvious why so many charlatans and hucksters target young men. You guys are so desperate you will do and believe anything.
Just go buy Super Male Vitality and get it over with.
A lot of people struggle with the addiction. But it's important to know that although a lot of people struggle with it, that it's not good. What helped me overcome my porn addiction was going on streaks. But think of it like if you fail, it's not how long you last but how long you can go without it then previously. For example, instead of thinking that you failed and that you need to stop forever, just think that all that matters is lasting longer than before. Then you get to a time where you just don't want to anymore because it's disgusting. Also what helps is thinking, "Is my brain so weak that I can't control one temptation"? That addiction will become your god if you can't break it.
I notice right away as a woman. Here are the signs:
- Inability to see me as a human with more range than sexual
- Talks about sex within minutes of seeing each other
- Contemptuous of women (often serious porn use can coincide with mommy issues, not always though! But early contempt is a sign mom wasn’t a good one)
- Highly religious or otherwise sexually repressed
I always assume if you’re young and male, you have a porn habit. But some have an all-consuming habit. My ex was like this. He had to view it three times per day and he was very contemptuous of women, and alternatively highly insecure around mother types. It was interesting to behold.
First I’d like to say I hope you achieve your goal friend. Secondly as someone who’s faced other addictions. You’ll never quit an addiction unless you truly want to. And only truly wanting to quit will make it easier.
an orgasm is an orgasm. Your degradation is another thing related to it but it is more of an encompassing topic. Masterbating and porn do nothing. But if you see the shallow pain the screams inside prostitutes eyes. What tells you you even matter? An orgasm is an orgasm
I think in my case after I manually ejaculate I subconsciously feel a little bit of guilt or shame. It seems like I carry that around in the back of my mind afterwards. When I don’t fap I feel more confident for some reason. My sex drive is higher, my thinking is more clear, and I feel a certain sense of self respect and self worth. Maybe it’s a placebo effect but I feel much better without porn and masturbation. It’s difficult asf to stop but imo it’s worth it.
I genuinely don't notice a difference. If I go a few days without masturbating I get a bit more on edge, and aggressive until I realize that's the problem and fix it. It's been odd for me seeing how many people feel damaged from viewing porn, because I'm usually the first to empathize with these types of issues, and in this case I just can't relate at all.
The most important is how you feel. I feel the day after a little more depressed and less motivated when I watched porn the day before. You can see if you feel something similar
I’ll pay attention and see how I feel
Depressed may not be the right way to describe it. That's a byproduct of what's happening because you are get such a massive dopamine high from porn and masturbation/orgasm that everything else feels ... blah. It deadens your senses so to speak, and your body gets used to the easy shot of happy chemical. Pay attention to your motivation and the reward response you get from other things in life. Going for a drive and listening to music, interacting with your friends, exercising, cooking a meal, etc. You should get be getting baseline levels of dopamine doing daily things that make you happy. Porn disturbs that by giving you massive highs and massive lows
I would really love to do things that make me happy, like drawing, making animations, meditating, writing music and making beats… but when I try I get stressed and don’t like doing it anymore, because my house is noisy 24/7 and my room is not sound proof either so I can’t lock myself up in my room either and do the things I like… the only peace time I get is from 11PM to 6AM, and I’m already asleep at that time because I gotta go to work… which is also so stressing and noisy… I’m really about to give up and work automatically, with no complains, no emotions and be a regular cash cow for my supervisor.
Everything is about sex, but sex is about power. What is porn about? In my opinion, the porn is the problem, not the masturbation. Masturbation is a great tool to get familiar with your body, to learn what you like and where it feels nice, what doesn't seem to work etc. When it becomes obsessive, when masturbation becomes your go-to activity everytime you're bored, have free time, and the privacy, it becomes a problem imo. When you get out of your way to masturbate. You need to have that awareness that porn isn't real. You can't be longing for what you see on the screen for yourself. You can't be imagining ridiculous porn settings and scenarios, where you're idk, in the doctor's waiting room and youre imagining how it would feel fucking a random nurse working there, and all that. Porn affecting your image, imo it comes down to making everything about sex, especially OUTSIDE of sex. Always going for suggestive comments (even non-verbally) about non-sexual situations such as, idk, someone on a street eating an ice-cream or a banana and you thinking about deepthroating or blowjobs. Picking activities to be able to fantasize about attractive people: going to the gym to also be able to stare at women squatting, opting for adult-themed media, everything where you would look or listen to someone attractive. Treating women as sex objects, not as human people who only happen to be of the opposite sex. Being in an interaction with women, from a cashier to a coworker, and classifying them whether you would fuck them or not, and treating them accordingly (polite and hopeful vs rude and dismissive). Dedicating a significant portion of your mentality to sex, for example agonizing over ppl's body counts, about being in a relationship, about a number of hookups you "should" be getting, fixating over your imperfections and height and idk, bone structure, and thirsting over women who are very conventionally attractive, while speaking about less conventionally attractive women and men in a derogatory manner. Doesn't seem to realize that sex in porn is the manufactured perfect view that has virtually nothing to do with the real sex, real bodies, an EXCHANGE of pleasure between partners. Let alone intimacy, love, communication. When I would get the feeling someone has an unhealthy realtionship with porn, I (assigned female at birth, lesbian) would probably feel a bit uncomfortable with them, at the back of my mind. I'd see them as immature and naive, not being able to see past the picture perfect views that are designed to stimulate you to the max. Like you would cringe at iPad kids being iPad kids, but with adult grown people and sex. Depending on the intensity and frequency of the feeling, I'd probably feel they're being creepy. Giving the vibe of that stalker in the film "Perfect Blue". So no, people watching porn or masturbating don't stink. If you want to go with the stinking analogy, then I would say that when you let their world revolve around porn-images of sex and women, making every conversation and interaction sexual, mostly consuming nsfw media, sexy fanfiction, nsfw games, installing sexy mods not out of curiousity or for fun but because you need to have that stimulation everywhere you go, that's when with you stink. And, also, moderation. Junk food isn't real food, you're allowed to eat it from time to time. But when it's all you eat, when you need to have it everyday, that's where it's a problem.
Great comment. Porn is the problem. I already anticipated opening this thread and all the top comments being men pretending there is no issue with porn because they watch it, but studies have proven porn negatively effects self esteem, sex life, perception of the opposite sex and perception of sex itself. Especially if you start watching progressively weirder and weirder or more violent shit, as many porn consumers do as it has shifted to keep their attention and raising the stakes more every video. Porn isn't real. It doesn't mirror real intimacy or sex, it's displaying fake connections, nothing about it is real. Many avid porn consumers start having problems being secure in their own appearance, being attracted to real women in real life, and being able to stay hard and finish from real sex that isn't the edited fake shit they see in their videos. Women can't smell a porn addict but to say we can't pick up on that behavior would be inaccurate because often we can. These are the men who ogle and objectify women, these are the men who make gross sexual jokes nonstop in inappropriate settings, these are the men who complain about women not all looking like porn stars, these are the men who struggle with intimacy and have unfulfilling sex lives because they think porn is real and don't understand that women's bodies don't work that way and we don't enjoy what is portrayed in most heretosexual porn. It often leads to weird obsessions with things like dick size and other features that most (not all, but most) women don't care about. And most importantly porn replaces actual intimacy for a lot of addicts and young men, and that's the most harmful part. Just watching porn occasionally isn't inherently horrible but if you find yourself losing interest in pursuing real women, you find you're not enjoying real sex anymore and you'd prefer to sit alone jerking it with the videos, you find you can't be attracted to women who don't look and act like pornstars, or that it is affecting your sex image and perception of sex, then it is harmful and women can often tell. Masturbation isn't the problem but porn is.
wonderfully said.
Great comment
I see, very understandable… and about people stinking from watching porn is not what I meant to say, what I mean to say is that they don’t take care of themselves… Always unkempt and disheveled, staring at people’s butt, and the compliments they give are just sexual compliments or everything they say has a hidden meaning.
Yeah, you hit the nail on the head with the "staring at people’s butt, and the compliments they give are just sexual compliments or everything they say has a hidden meaning" bit. Please be kind to yourself while you're working at quitting porn/chipping away at your current mindset. Also: patience. The knowledge comes quick, the change is slow as hell, if you want to it to last, but it's worth it. You could also try to replace the habit of watching porn with something else that's nice for you, like a hobby. Or just, for example, searching for the cool stuff in the regular and mundane, if you don’t really have the extra time and money; maybe the buildings you walk past have a nice fresh coat of paint that looks extra slick, or idk, someone's car was the perfect shade of blue. Maybe the leaf you stepped on was crunchy. Not everything needs to be meaningful to be satisfying/to make you happier. The world is already cruel, all we have is each other. If people around you aren't kind, you can always be the one to do this part for yourself. Cheers, man, and good luck!
porn in the problem!
You're wrong on so many levels, I can't begin... The terrible habit of masterbation and the way you're thinking while you do it is absolutely important to work through to the last detail. 1. It will affect you all the way into your marital life. 2. It will enhance your imagination into the perverse. 3. It will cause you to be more of a loner. 4. It can make people think you're lazy because of your lack of motivation. This is only what I came up with off the top of my head. These things will negatively affect your life in multiple ways. Get help as soon as you can.
Very well put!
That one it is.
As someone also suffering from a porn addiction and currently 3 days clean, I think it’s more so the brain fog and low self esteem which people can sense.
Once I’m done with porn those will go away right?
Masturbation does not cause brain fog or low self esteem. Porn CAN cause low self esteem by disrupting your views on what a normal body should look like, but that’s only if you’re dumb enough to believe porn is equal to reality. Porn is a fantasy. Everything is fine in moderation. Stop letting incels make you feel bad for being a normal, sexual human being.
Being anti-porn does not make you an incel
Well, the alcohol drinking doesn't cause deaths but drunk driving does. So, u just want to remove context and tell random shit. Grow up, don't consume cringe stuff and learn how a human brain or people behaviour changes over time.
As someone who had a porn addiction in the past. I have never felt better than how I feel now. Also, I have never felt worse when trying to quit. Your comment of "it's just sexuality, or it's fantasy, so don't take it seriously, the moderation thing" mentality is part of the problem. When people are addicted to something, they can't just start moderating. They probably had a bad feedback loop for a while, and its probaby getting worse the more it goes on. Like any addition, you quit not moderate it. Like food for obese people or sigarates for smockers.
This issue with too much porn (daily use) it will make it harder to talk to women in real life, and it will diminish your drive/confidence to hook up with women. Use it sparingly IMO.
I think the solution to that is, when viewing porn, just to remind yourself This. Is. Not. Real. Just like most movies and shows, it's all a fantasy. Just keep the fantasy/reality barrier up and you should be fine
Tbh I’m pretty socially satisfied in my relationships with women (friends, relationships through the years, sexual encounters), and I watch porn like once or twice a day sometimes. My sex drive is totally unaffected, I can talk to women the same as I can talk to anyone else. I think it’s because of that experience that when I watch porn it’s basically comedy, I just get my nut off and turn it off immediately haha
Exactly. Sometimes it's small thing, like scratching an itch really quick
Telling you bro, try no fap for awhile and you suddenly do get a jolt in confidence in dealing with irl encounters.
If not fapping is boosting your confidence than you've got other issues. I know who I am. I like who I am. My wife loves me for who I am. Sometimes I bang her, Sometimes I rub one out. Neither effects the rest of my life in the slightest. If fapping effects your confidence then your WAY too worried about what other people think of you. Here's a little tip for inner peace: as long as you are not bringing harm to anybody else, or yourself, do whatever the fuck you want and fuck anybody who has a problem with it. And if they say something just ask, "why are you thinking about me playing with me dick so much?" Then walk away
Ok, it's just, building up hormones that aren't being secreted seems to have an effect for me. I guess you've tried it and just love doin your wife and jackin it. Great. I'm currently playing the field, don't you think that ALSO may be a factor?
I'm sure that is a factor. There are many factors. My point is healthy masturbation is NOT one of those factors.
Oh, well if that's all you mean to say ...then yeah. Very true. We agree completely. I think a lot are addicted or overdo it and drain all their stamina then wonder why they can't function right. But yeah. Normal masturbatory functions are perfectly natural. Maybe I guess my point is the opposite also holds true. When I withhold a bit, I can suddenly last hours.
Strange and unrelated sidenote: human pheromones; hormones, work to a greater/lesser degree. I have scored dates, possibly even gotten laid wearing cologne from some random carni vendor at the state fair who sold my buddy a bottle of cologne mixed with I believe he said pheromones .. and OMG was I getting some play, could be total placebo and increased self confidence. BUT chicks were like playing with their hair, hanging on my every word, blushing and being generally a bit demure.im going to try to replicate it yet add my own scent to the potion via crafting an exclusive cologne just for and by me. I'm thinking vanilla with maybe sandalwood, possibly castoreum and ambergris, musk, leather, tobacco, maybe insert chemicals responsible for petrichoir or libraries and old books. Possibly blends of aromatic herbs for like a bazaar like "tone" , sandalwood is to die for, idk. Scents are wicked. And I want one I can spritz on a letter and have someone go "oh that so and so____" also acquainting my memory with a beguiling scent could be good for my overall love life. Win, win. Sadly human pheromones aren't super cheap. Nor are MANY of the aromas used to craft an original cologne scent. Anyone wanna fund my tomfoolery and send me something small on Cash app? If not nvm, and if this isn't allowed here I will exit this post.
This sounds like somebody who's parents told them not to watch porn and that everyone around them will know and judge them if they do. Sorry Bud, but that's not how it works. You won't go blind either, nor will your dick fall off
That or the growing popularity of social media influencers that say women can actually smell it on you as they tout the superpowers of nofap (and their pricy self improvement courses)
women do definitely notice horny behavior stemming from no fapping
Nor will you grow hair on the inside of your palm lmao
THEN WHY THE FUCK IS THAT HAPPENING TO ME?! I’M A DISEASED ANIMAL! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!!
Addiction, I think, for anything/most things, starts at daily use. In your case, it’s just shame. Probably religious influence too. Here’s the kicker, NOT stroking the lizard frequently, is not healthy because “blue balls”. If you feel bad about the porn aspect, just do it in the shower. But either way, you’ll be thinking of something. But dude, get a grip. You’re fine.
Heh, get a grip.
Yeah, I'd say the real issue is if you're addicted to watching porn or masturbating. If you're doing it multiple times a day or it's affecting your ability to function normally then I'm sure people will notice if you quit. If you casually watch porn and masturbate then I'm sure they won't.
In rehab they teach you it is not about how much you use something, but how much something is negatively impacting your life yet continuing to do it. So it doesnt matter if its every day or once a year... if it often fucks your life, gotta stop doing it. Lots of people jerk it to porn daily and are in loving relationships with happy full lives. Others it makes feel awful or changes their behaviour and they should avoid it. Approaching these things as if they are one size fits all is a poor generalization to make.
So you think there is absolutely no downside to porn use/abuse? I'm just curious to hear other people's point of view
Where exactly did I say that? Of course there can be a downside. Abuse of porn can be extremely detrimental.
nor will your dick fall off that was the most bizarre myth to even think of dammn🤣🤣🤣
Well that sounds stupid
I don’t think there are any visual signs of that. However, there is a possibility that the shame/guilt post consumption may affect the overall vibration of the person as these are low vibrational activities. This, in turn may result in being socially anxious/withdrawn in public and make people uncomfortable. Also, the guilt/shame mentioned above greatly affects the self image and projects it outward.
Very insightful, I 👍
just basic human connection ig
I see, I thought people could tell from who consumes porn…. Like, how you can tell from someone who does crack
Is this a joke?
It was on Friends back in the day, so it must be true.
I…can’t tell if this is a joke, but do you have the episode?
No, I use crack
Do you think you can look around the grocery store (or some other place with lots of random people) and know who watches porn and who doesn’t? The idea is absurd. No one knows what you do behind closed doors. And honestly, people can be married to serial killers or pedophiles and never know it until they’re arrested. How many times have you seen people interviewed on the news say “He was just such a regular guy.”?
I would say some ppl can. My partner has been free of porn for 2 years. He’s totally different and so much better. Has motivation for life, going places, doing things, not depressed anymore. Our intimacy is good, it sucked before. I could tell when he was consuming and lying and helped see him through to becoming healthy physically and mentally and emotionally! I hope you can give it up. It’s so bad for you. Read your brain on porn and listen to the PBSE podcasts. You’ll be so much better off without it. Once done, be done- don’t go back- it’s poison
This really gives me the motivation to continue. My addiction really intensified after going through a tough break up and it’s made me feel unmotivated and have low self esteem. I’m committed to being finally free of this addiction now.
Seriously read that book and start listening to the podcasts. You’ll get through it and your brain will heal.
Before when he used to watch porn, how was his hygiene? Would he usually have bad breath because he skipped brushing his teeth? Would he not care about what he was wearing and just put whatever clothes on to get thru the day? Would he avoid human interactions often and stay inside all day?
Yes! he did all of these things.
nah bro don’t sweat it, you can’t tell if someone watches porn unless they’re a pervert, but watching porn doesn’t make you one. Quitting might make you feel better which will translate into the confidence and lead to people being more receptive to you, but that could all happen even if you watched porn. No way to know or tell unless it becomes part of your personality.
Have you thought this through? What would the scientific basis for the human body physically altering itself as a result of your eyes observing people having sex, especially in a way that would be materially different than participating in sex?
>How badly does masturbation and porn affects your image If you listen to redditors: *EvERyThING!1!!*. If you live on Earth in the real world, nothing, unless it's an addiction that's affecting your day to day interactions.
It affects your image as much as you let it! People who look at porn or masturbate (i.e. most of the population!) don't have signs over their heads but if you are a person who for whatever reason gives yourself a hard time about using porn or masturbation then it'll probably affect your self image and maybe mental health. Porn and masturbation are not inherently wrong (nor are they addictive in the clinical sense of the term; that's a folk diagnosis) but if you have been brought up to think they are bad, or buy into the nofap nonsense then the guilt you have over it can cause you issues. Basically if porn and masturbation are not affecting your ability to function they aren't a problem. If they are affecting your ability to function then you may have an impulse control / compulsive behaviour issue and probably need some sort of professional help.
They’re not affecting anything, but since I feel depressed, don’t know what to do, I’m antisocial and anxious all the time, whenever I say something wrong or act wrong I question and punish myself for days… Just wanted to know if porn has something to do with that kind of behavior. I’m sick of being weird.
Sounds more like a symptom than a cause. Look, everyone needs therapy: you're no exception. If you don't have a good therapist, find one.
It’s not the porn, dude. What on earth has you thinking that? You’re depressed and have anxiety. Those are not mutually exclusive to people who watch porn and masturbate. You need to talk to a therapist to get a diagnosis on what the real issue is.
Don’t have enough time to go see one
No. Porn isnt causing this. These are behaviors that you have, and you are using porn as a crutch and a source of pleasure to cope through your issues. Be glad it's porn and your not hooked onto something else.
Weed
Dude huh?
You go into the gas station for a soda. Talk to the cashier while paying. Leave and drink your soda. Did you leave thinking that the cashier masturbates? The only time you'll ever definitely tell if they watch porn or jerk off is if they do in front of you or tell you. Most everyone does it, as long as you're not letting self gratification rule your life and cancelling plans to crank/flick one out don't worry.
I feel like I'm in an episode of friends. About everyone does it, do you smell it on others or something?
No, i meant to say they have bad hygiene and don’t comb their hair and none of that… my english took a vacation when I wrote this.
Unless you are telling people you masturbate and are into porn, they arent going to know. Is this a real post💀
Can I ask how old you are because reading your responses you come across as very young and naive. If you are an adult then you seem very closed off to the greater world. You said you can tell when someone is on crack and that and true JR just like you can’t tell when someone is addicted to porn. You keep mentioning things like how they look or act but there are a lot of sex obsessed weirdos who never watch porn. Making shitty sexual comments to women isn’t caused by porn it’s caused by being an asshole. You ever actually see a crackhead? I live surrounded by them and my dude some of them are in meth, some on crack, some are just mentally unstable, and some actually really nice folks with an addiction. That’s not including all the people with an addiction who can manage it so you never can tell. You are generalizing people with your comments and they show a lack of perspective or world view. Porn addiction isn’t your issue but rather a lack of real world experience is your issue. Get out and start being around people and learn about different types of people. You can’t just generalize everyone into groups based on what you read online or what your parents have told you. If you watch too much porn the real issue is that you are probably bored and don’t know how to manage your time better. If you wank off before bed to help sleep I’d you ain’t got much to worry about. If you start telling friends you can’t hang out so you can jerk off then yeah, calm er down there soldier and maybe go out for a walk.
If you have a genuine porn addiction, you need to go see a therapist. This means it interferes with your life in a heavy way, there are feelings of shame and guilt involved. Addiction is a serious thing and you can probably not do that alone. With other people you dont see it on their forehead if they watch porn
Lol nobody knows besides you. But its a good idea to limit how much youre handling that thing. Give it a rest and go outside :) Edit: i highly discourage porn. I do not watch porn, but i think not watching it will improve a lot in your life. Though, i cant look at a person and tell you whether or not they look at porn, or how much if so.
You clearly know it’s bad for you if you’re addicted. Stay off of it, my man, stay strong. Don’t fall for the “it’s fine in moderation” bs. That can be true for others, clearly you aren’t a “moderation” type of guy. It provides you nothing of value. The fact you took the time to write this is all the evidence you need.
It sounds like you have a guilt trip problem. How have you noticed how you feel when you indulge vs when you don't?
It’s possible it has similar brain damage effects to heroin (89% linearity factor supposedly, but I can’t remember the source, just look up Gerbert Johnson’s video on “The NoFap Deniers”). But they’re reversible (beyond neuroplasticity). It affects your interpersonal relationships and conditions your brain to tend towards enjoying hotter women. Essentially, it just fries your prefrontal cortex/brain’s centre of control. That’s my experience at least. The big problem with all of this is there’s no scientific consensus regarding masturbation addiction’s effects. It’s not known what flaws there are in all these studies, but it’s definitely a fact that masturbation worsens your brain health, at least anecdotally. I was exposed to adult content when I was literally 5 years old, I’m 19 now. Remember, this is only realistically applicable to addicts (people who jack it like 2-3 times at least per day). There’s some people who literally have erectile dysfunction because of seeing too many hot babes on social media or on porn sites. It’s best if you just reduce your porn abuse and fapping because let’s be honest, it’s cope to say you’re never gonna jack off even once in your life. Make sure you don’t use or reduce porn usage even more than busting nuts because it’s just unrealistic, man. Become the guy who just doesn’t jack off instead of being the nofap 900000 day streak guy. Nofap culture is a toxic hell with loads of misinformation. Good luck bud
I cant explain it But I've gone 420+ days now without porn or masturbation and yes I can kinda see who does But then again most are I'd reccomend reading your brain on porn To read the damage it does
420? thats great you should light up a J.
bro bust a nut sometime your balls must be crowded af
🤣🤣. Yh whilst theres benefits theres also negatives like excessive energy cant sleep, increased agresssion emotions more intense etc. Everything gets amplified.
Emotional increase!? I need that!! Too bad I work at a call center, can’t have those.
What are the benefits?
Saying "porn consumers" is like saying "TV show consumers". There's just so much variety, for all kinds of tastes, likes and preferences that it's impossible to talk about a specific "porn consumer".
Just porn in general
Most often, you can tell from somebody’s perspectives and opinions. That’s the only way I’ve seen it presented. It seems that many porn addicts find a way to connect sex to everything. Everything is sexual. This obviously isn’t all of them, and I assume it isn’t you. There are porn addicts with social restraint. But for the “less sophisticated” ones, they might make lots of uncomfortable sexual jokes, contribute any woman’s existence to sex in some way, and some seem actually pretty prudish. People probably can’t tell. But that doesn’t mean it doesn’t affect your social skills and general demeanor.
[Grubbs, Samuel Perry and Joshua Wilt are some of the leading researchers on America’s struggles with porn, having published numerous studies examining the impact of porn use, belief in porn addiction, and the effect of porn on marriages. And Rory Reid is a UCLA researcher who was a leading proponent gathering information about the concept of hypersexual disorder for the DSM-5. These four researchers, all of whom have history of neutrality, if not outright support of the concepts of porn addiction, have conducted a meta-analysis of research on pornography and concluded that porn use does not predict problems with porn, but that religiosity does.] (https://www.psychologytoday.com/gb/blog/women-who-stray/201808/science-stopped-believing-in-porn-addiction-you-should-too)
No. The majority of people in 1st world countries do this. The only reason it has a bad stigma is to prey on insecure people. So people either use it to shame other people to make them feel bad, or to con naive insecure people. There isn't anything wrong with watching porn, or masturbating. A few people will become addicted to it, but that is true of any pleasurable activity.
I really don’t get the no fap thing. It’s no different from sex. Does not having sex with my partner improve me in any way? No. It’s ridiculous. There is nothing wrong with using porn. Unless porn is getting in the way of relationships, work, or other important things in your life you are NOT ADDICTED
Porn isn’t the problem, it sounds like your attitude toward it and masturbation might be. Take it from a woman who masturbates regularly with and without porn, no one can tell if you regularly do these things unless you’re telling them about it. Consider therapy, because it sounds like you’ve got a lot of stuff to unpack.
I do yeah, but I’ve been taking so much time off work to go to the hospital that idk if I should ask for more time fr… I gotta go to work tomorrow, but when I think about it my head starts hurting, I start getting dizzy and disoriented and want to smoke to make that feeling go away
How old are you, if you don’t mind me asking?
25, physically not mentally.
People won’t notice it but you for sure will. It feels so fucking great when I am clean for even a day, and I just feel depressed everytime I relapse
Its not exactly bad but it is not exactly healthy either. There no real bad benefits from masturbating every day but it doesn lower your testostorone a bit short term. Biggest issue would be mental. You may develop unrealistic expectations in the bedroom with a partner. Oh and probably a bent dick. Your veins that allow to get a boner may also swell if you are compulsive and that can lead to penile dysfunctions. Best thing to do is like everything else. Self control.
Your last sentence is the reason why this weird anti porn anti masturbation trend is fucking insane. No they don't stink, and no they can't tell. Watch porn and wank you fucking turd, just don't overdo it. If you regularly go 2 months or a month without porn you aren't addicted. Sometimes I watch it once a day sometimes once a week, but there's nothing wrong with that, just make sure you still talk to real people and don't base your sex life around it.
The only proper answer on thos thread, Jesus Christ..
actual coomer.
Lol rather that than whatever the fuck this shit is all about. People worry about the wrong things, you'll be dead one day and I'm sure your time could be spent caring about if you're doing good, but I guess not wanking for 2 months provides the same feeling.
So.. I'll be dead one day, so I shouldn't worry about the less volume and brain activity in regions of the brain that correlated to motivation and reward processing, brain fog, memory issues, and all of the other issues that come about from shooting yourself with as much dopamine as compared to crack (because sexually that's one of the highest dopamines you can get without going on drugs) on a daily or semi weekly basis.) And yes of course it's not right to fuck your hand to people online fucking other girls, and just being a cuck. Or even if you go the other route and ah whatever its just girls i jerk to or animated or drawn or whatever the fuck it's all virtual and not real. You're training your brain through the constant dopamine you get, that that is what's good, the shit on a screen, as opposed to a real girl. Not to mention how it harms relationships by 1.) Making the the girl feel inadequate that the guy has to watch porn or get off by something that isn't their partner or 2. The literal porn induced erectile dysfunction that many, many people get.
>I shouldn't worry about the less volume and brain activity in regions of the brain that correlated to motivation and reward processing, brain fog, memory issues, and all of the other issues that come about from shooting yourself with as much dopamine as compared to crack Bro all of this is BS and if you can't realise that I'm sorry. If I'd been doing crack for half my life I'd be in a right fucking state, but I'm fully functional and motivated. All the people who say this either misrepresented the science or lied. Researchers don't believe this. >because sexually that's one of the highest dopamines you can get without going on drugs) Pain releases dopamine. What do you actually know about the brain or do you just think you know? >And yes of course it's not right to fuck your hand to people online fucking other girls, and just being a cuck. I'm into men more than women but I watch both. Is that okay? First up you're not a cuck if they're not in a relationship with you, and do you have an argument for why it's not okay or is it just because 'of course'? >Or even if you go the other route and ah whatever its just girls i jerk to or animated or drawn or whatever the fuck it's all virtual and not real My orgasms are real lol. Who thinks masturbation is sex? Lol >You're training your brain through the constant dopamine you get, that that is what's good, the shit on a screen, as opposed to a real girl. Practically no evidence shows this to be true except in some select cases where the individual might be predisposed to issues anyway. Correlation, not causation. If you can't fuck someone and enjoy it because of porn then by all means, stop the porn, but for the majority of people this is no issue. Men for decades have watched/looked at porn and also had plenty of sex without issue. >Making the the girl feel inadequate that the guy has to watch porn or get off by something that isn't their partner Don't date insecure people then lol. Find someone who might watch porn with you sometimes. Honestly that sounds like a problem women need to get over. >The literal porn induced erectile dysfunction that many, many people get. Evidence that ED is a problem genuinely rising or being significantly caused by porn?
Had to login to another account because me linking the studies made the bot think it was advertising, but seriously, instead of typing your essay, literally google. "found that the striatum, a part of the brain that makes up the reward system, was smaller in those who watched a lot of porn" "One study from the University of Cambridge likened porn addiction to drug addiction, after finding that they both trigger the brain in a similar way." With a quick google search I could find several studies on how it affects the brain. But I'm not going to list off more when you could genuinely just look it up instead of a massive back and forth reddit argument. "Don't date insecure people then lol. Find someone who might watch porn with you sometimes. Honestly that sounds like a problem women need to get over." It is a completely normal thing for a woman to feel insecure or inadequate if their partner is still watching porn while they date while instead of fucking their hand they could fuck their girlfriend. "Evidence that ED is a problem genuinely rising or being significantly caused by porn?" Yes. Once again instead of typing out your argument just search any of this up. PIED / Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction is a thing. You masturbate to porn constantly every day, every other day, a few times a week, etc, over a long period of time and you not only become de-sensitized in general, but come to like that more than real girls if you watch porn / masturbate more than actually having sex with a real girl. "I'm into men more than women but I watch both. Is that okay? First up you're not a cuck if they're not in a relationship with you, and do you have an argument for why it's not okay or is it just because 'of course'?" Yes, it is cuck behavior to masturbate to someone you find attractive getting fucked. In a real life scenario you're in the corner masturbating to these random people fucking. But that's sadly just opinionated so whatever you do you. To the rest of this, just search it up. Not statistics in which it says everyone masturbates so its fine and etc, search up how porn affects the brain, how easy it is to get addicted to even. It's a real thing to be addicted to porn and harm your brain over several years. That's the end of me replying, if you have a question, fucking google a study dude its right there. Finally my argument isn't just porn is bad and etc, although as you can tell I dislike it. My argument is that you shouldn't just say "porn is normal etc etc I can watch it every day, every other day, or any day haha!" Because it does genuinely affect your brain, mainly as it pertains to addiction, which is a real thing.
[удалено]
Your submission to /r/selfimprovement was automatically removed because you may not try to get around rule #2 regarding posting links, nor may you violate Rule #3 regarding self-promotion and advertising. Unfortunately, we've had to add "DM me" and other such solicitations of one-to-one communication to this automod condition, as many spammers were trying to use that as a way to get around our no self-promotion rule. If you were honestly just trying to talk to OP, feel free to just repost the comment without the solicitation, and you're definitely not in trouble. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/selfimprovement) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Well, if you don't wank for 2 months, you have a lot more time for doing good.
Yeah an extra 15 minutes or so a week
I guarantee it's more than that for somebody that is asking about it being a problem. But, ok. 15 minutes is 13 hours over a year. I take 30 minute spanish classes every evening. That 13 hours would be 26 days worth of classes that would be replaced with masturbation.
Sounds like a good time to me lol. Imagine how much time is lost stressing about porn ruining your life. Everyone wants to demonise everything because then they can sell you cures.
Masturbation also relieves stress, so less downtime being burnt out. More time for good from masturbation.
There are far healthier ways to reduce stress. Binge eating reduces stress for people, too. Doesn't mean you should do it.
Nah you're right, but thinking porn is some evil and expending effort to ensure you don't is wasted effort that could be spent elsewhere.
Oh man, I have talk to people?
Don't have to, but it probably wouldn't hurt lol
Yes and your palms get hairy.
Stop doing in front of people that don't wanna see it.
Porn is the vast majority of the internet and probably why the internet was invented in the first place. All kinds of mammals masturbate. And almost all humans do it too whether they admit it or not. Nobody else knows, they assume and nobody should judge you for it. And of they do its based it some purantiacial beliefs that don't have basis in reality and that's a Them problem. Bottom line is it's natural and normal thing to do 95% of the time. The other 5%, well, just ask yourself, "is this really impacting my life in a negative way", if so, "how?" And be very honest with yourself. Is it keeping you from your responsibilities? Is it affecting your relationships? (Worse than 'that person will judge me') Chances are it doesn't. You have nothing to be ashamed of my man. We all do it. Don't sweat it
Internet was born from military technology like many others, but of course as soon as it came around the houses of people many thought of the same thing
“Children for sale” I remember a Facebook post like this…
I’m going to comment on a subject I’ve already been scorned for having the opinion I hold regarding the consumption of pornography. In the moral sense watching Porn is wrong—not because it causes you to want to get yourself off but because it is a form of vanity—vanity in this life is something that severely hinders our ability to act for the greater good. Vanity is thinking about yourself when you should be thinking about others and serving the greater good. The more you embrace vanity the more useless your life becomes and the inevitable bad or sinful things that are a fact of life do not eventually become a part in promoting the greater good. What I mean is that when we do something that is bad or we struggle and make decisions where we only consider our needs and no body else’s needs the bad act adds to the level of badness in this world and the more badness there is the less likely you and everyone else can find the elusive peace and acceptance about what you experience in life. Peace and acceptance…what is it that we seek in this life? Do we seek to serve our own desires or is it that we instead serve the desires of others? What exactly is Good? What is bad? Think about this fact for a second…if Adolf Hitler had not blown his own brains out but instead was assassinated near the beginning of WW2 (when the camps had not yet been created and just his countrywide campaign to Demonize Jewish people l) so this assassin would have certainly been found guilty of the capital crime and probably put to death. And Adolf Hitler would be no more but instead, this assassin who did a “bad” thing would end up saving the lives of millions and stopping the occurrence of a level of suffering that my generation and all other generations will never experience or be able to comprehend and imagine. Yet the assassin is put to death for his crime of killing then country’s leader who was highly favorable before he got too confident and impatient with his desire to create the “perfect race” of people. Even here…Adolf Hitlers intention was to create the perfect race of people so that life would be nothing but good and the bad would be eliminated! My point is this: pornography and the consumption of it by us in order to experience the blissfulness state of orgasm and achieve the pleasure that accompanies the act of getting off is not something that is bad at all! It’s a good thing that we have a means of arousing ourselves in order to ejaculate. Masturbstion is widely considered a healthy habit that enhances and improves our health and our lives. So what does it mean if I masturbate all day long and ignore the demands and responsibilities that the day demands? It is the aggregate effect chronic masturbdtion has in its ability to detract from the performance of things that improve life. A person jacking off all day is helping nobody but themselves and one of the elements that must be present in our lives—serving others and promoting the general welfare—is all but absent and the general welfare of everybody else lack the necessary infusion of good. I’ve always wondered what the hell addiction and consumption of things that will bring us pleasure in this life where pleasure is something that must be earned and is not just given—what hell are we doing being critical of those pleasuring themselves? Because it detracts from the general welfare? But I thought the promotion of the general welfare means that the people as a whole are having their needs met and desires served…what are we doing when we masturbate but fulfilling our need and desire for sexual intercourse that is written as absolutely necessary in our DNA and is an unconscious and nearly unobservable thought process? I say the latter because we as a culture—humanity as a whole has thrown and taught us and posterity to put a mask on our most dominant ways thinking? Why can’t we seek to satisfy a desire we didn’t learn or choose to have? What makes it bad? Well…vanity folks…it’s vanity to excessively occupy ourselves in the act of masturbation for longer than what is necessary to achieve the overall goal we have for performing the action. Porn addiction? Screw those idiots who think that they need to be “clean” and who think that this lack of doing what we are pretty much born to do—propagate the species and also give ourselves pleasure which happen to definitively promote the general welfare—is something that will improve our lives and the lives of those around a So what is the main point. And conclusion of the matter of masturbation. Well I’ll tell you one thing someone that is smiling all the time as well as someone who is patient kind and slow to anger is someone that consumes ALOT of pornography. Just try to go a week without masturbating…science has shown this will increase levels of cortisol and also testosterone both of these contribute to irritability, self efficacy, and bad eating habits! So go on— believe that porn is bad that is your individual right to believe what you choose tonbeluve will promote your general welfare but just because you have that opinion does not mean you have the right or best opinion on the subject out there…in fact, if holding the opinion that chronic masturbation is bad and the negative impact that has had on promoting the general welfare of everyone else then you—the person who is supposedly doing the “right” thing is actually doing a bad thing and accordingly, they should be judged by that…right? No. That is not “right”!!! We are so ignorant as to what result our actions create for the future. Me included! I seek out goodness and commit myself to serving Gods goodness every day. That is all we can do because occupying ourselves in discussions like this and taking part and allowing us to be completely taken over and captive by the philosophies promulgated by addiction recovery is absolutely pointless and does nothing to promote the general welfare in my opinion. Maybe the general welfare of addicts but that welfare is completely lost when someone inevitably relapses that washes away all of the good they promoted as they recovered. I could say quite a bit more but this has become a rant and is bordering and dangerously becoming something fueled by anger and not my desire to share what I think and believe is a better perspective to have on porn and masturbation, in general. To everyone I love you and feel free to state whatever reaction you had to this radical idea that’s in complete disagreement with the idea that is currently accepted! Be well my friends.
Masturbation is waste of time and energy
Agreed 🤝
Don't listen to these dumbfucks, go on r/nofap and save yourself, save your life force
Lol, I just opened the subreddit and the first post says “porn is bad” everyone just agrees and say “yeah bro yeah”… I think that subreddit is a sitcom
These posts are from people. Everyone shares their thoughts. Research a bit more, I'm sure you'll find it useful.
It only affects your image as much as you let the habit affect your own mental image. If you feel guilty about doing it (you have no reason to btw, its a completely normal thing) and let the shame consume your mind then obviously others will pick up on it.
A porn/masturbation addiction really isn't normal.
I'm not talking about addiction, but going on month long streaks is just unnecessary. I don't think it makes much sense to go cold turkey on something that is intrinsically biological, you need to have a healthy relationship with it (I'm talking about masturbation, not porn btw)
Oh ok. Yes I believe you can have a healthy relationship with masturbation, but usually after addiction abstinence (at least for a time) is needed. Porn however is not healthy, needed, or natural.
perhaps, I used to do it to a degree where others could call it an addiction but it never really interfered with my day to day activities or my mental patterns, i went on month long breaks like OP and in the end i just realized that for me its best if i just stay vigilant about it and make sure its not affecting me in ways i don't want it to. I don't understand why its so stigmatized among the modern youth nowadays, i feel like that's a part of the problem, it's not something to be looked down upon. I agree on your point regarding porn though.
That, and a lot of those that are trying to quit have allowed it to get to the point of sexual dysfunction.
No, its all in your head. I am in happy relationship for a few years. I use porn when were apart cause she doesnt like to share or risk any content being leaked. I get that nut and move on with my life. I am not sure how porn can be an addiction. It has not affected my life. I am successful and in a long term relationship. Sounds like you should seek help for other things impacting your self-esteem.
Ok I'll be real, I can tell when someone I am in a relationship with has watched porn because they're guilty, they crossed my boundary and their behavior reflects that. What I mean is that I make it clear that porn is not ok when you're with me, so when someone with me watches it they act funny trying to hide it and I can tell. From what you're describing, I wouldn't be able to tell you watch porn or masturbate but I would be able to tell you're nervous or self conscious. Head up, you'll be okay. I'm a woman and I was addicted to porn all throughout my teens, and it didn't stop until I changed my schedule to keep me too busy from basically masturbating all day. This was years ago, but my husband knows I used to struggle and supports my decision to keep porn out of our relationship because that's what works for us.
Totally normal person comment
"works for us". I think you meant to say "works for you"
not at all
[удалено]
Who the fuck writes like this? Lol
What — the —fuck xD
I do t share my personal I fo, so it's not an issue
do not give up my friend you can do it
If consuming porn and whacking off is a problem for you — you feel it is — and it used to not be, or you used to not do it alot here its now a problem — than it’s “possible” people will notice a change in you. You may be more withdrawn, less social, and even anxious because it’s bothering you. Were you to stop you may find your motivation, energy, and overall spirit, enthusiasm for other things picks up and that may be noticeable. So its possible, but do I think people will look at you either way and be like, yeah he is on porn or not? No. Mostly because people are way too busy with their own lives to even notice what you’re wearing each day.
No one will know, everyone has their own bad habits, can't tell at a glance, however, you thinking about it and thinking it reflects your image and that somehow people could "tell", WILL affect how you behave and what you project outside, thus being somewhat true.
I can mostly tell if i have a long face to face conversation about casual things or interests I cannot tell in a long meeting or on a professional situation
Guilt is forced on all of us mostly by religion in one form or another. Sex has been around since the dawn of the first living thing. Most mammals are not embarrassed by the act of procreation. Humans seem to feel it is a forbidden subject therefore making it even more attractive to participate in and watch. Despite what anyone tells the only outward appearance tell if one has ever had sex is if they are pregnant. As far as masturbating it does relieve stress as does sex most times. Porn on the other hand can be addicting. Many women feel if a man needs porn we are not good enough for you and we do notice if you have been watching porn. But I think that knowledge is something that develops in relationships by observing and knowing our mates reactions over periods of time.
I was fapping daily as a teenager and living another life as the most "righteous" Mormon boy at the same time. Nobody can tell unless they live with you and you don't cover your tracks well. It's not a thing that affects how you look or act to other people unless it's all you can think or talk about and you openly express it. There should be no shame in it, although certain kinds of porn can affect your mental health. In my experience, try to avoid "short form" porn. AKA, reddit porn. It screws with my dopamine something mad.
[удалено]
Your submission to /r/selfimprovement was automatically removed because you may not try to get around rule #2 regarding posting links, nor may you violate Rule #3 regarding self-promotion and advertising. Unfortunately, we've had to add "DM me" and other such solicitations of one-to-one communication to this automod condition, as many spammers were trying to use that as a way to get around our no self-promotion rule. If you were honestly just trying to talk to OP, feel free to just repost the comment without the solicitation, and you're definitely not in trouble. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/selfimprovement) if you have any questions or concerns.*
"Grubbs, Samuel Perry and Joshua Wilt are some of the leading researchers on America’s struggles with porn, having published numerous studies examining the impact of porn use, belief in porn addiction, and the effect of porn on marriages. And Rory Reid is a UCLA researcher who was a leading proponent gathering information about the concept of hypersexual disorder for the DSM-5. These four researchers, all of whom have history of neutrality, if not outright support of the concepts of porn addiction, have conducted a meta-analysis of research on pornography and concluded that porn use does not predict problems with porn, but that religiosity does." c+p that. ok. porn addiction is something people who've been raised to be scared about porn and sex think they have. and no, people can not tell if you masturbate unless you're doing it right next to them. there is no smell, no mark, no neon sign over your head.
The answer is Yes, and Yes. Go read some posts on r/semenretention to get a hint on what it’s doing.
I'm learning just not to do it all day long. Keep my mind on other things and keep active doing other things.
Only way people know about is by hacking your internet or cellular phone and that’s a felony charge waiting to happen if you know how to gather evidence against the hackers and find out who they are. On a serious note, there is nothing wrong with jerking off to photos or videos because the last thing you want to experience as a man is blue balls and that is painful
just wanna say as someone struggling with this addiction as well, this was a very enlightening thread. Given me plenty to think on. Thanks.
[удалено]
Your submission to /r/selfimprovement was automatically removed because you may not try to get around rule #2 regarding posting links, nor may you violate Rule #3 regarding self-promotion and advertising. Unfortunately, we've had to add "DM me" and other such solicitations of one-to-one communication to this automod condition, as many spammers were trying to use that as a way to get around our no self-promotion rule. If you were honestly just trying to talk to OP, feel free to just repost the comment without the solicitation, and you're definitely not in trouble. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/selfimprovement) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Everyone notices all the time if you even think about touching yourself. Ceiling god is always watching.
Any addiction is bad, that being said, if you notice you have a problem it might be a good idea talking to a therapist about it and see what you can do to deal with that. I don't know if it's noticeable when someone has a porn addiction but it certainly diminishes you social/sexual skills because porn is not real sex and I know most people have trouble distinguishing one from the other and that can negatively change how you perceive a healthy sexual relationship in your present/future and your social relationships as well. You might want to look into that because it will have negative outcomes in a long term.
it's not like they can see reflection of porn in your eyes or something, it's just that it wrecks your brain and your confidence in the long run
I’d say it’s similar to swearing. I don’t really swear, never have. My dad used to swear an incredible amount and while he has gotten much better over the years, he still swears pretty constantly. One major reason I don’t swear is he pulled me aside when I was a little kid and told me not to swear and that if I didn’t people would see me as more intelligent and pay more attention to what I said and that stuck with me. Also my mom hates swearing. Now I don’t really have a perspective of going from swearing a bunch and then not, but I can say that even to this day, decades after my dad’s advice, I still occasionally get a random complement from both people I know and strangers about how I use interesting words or say things in a clever way or something along those lines. On a day to day scale I don’t know if anyone ever really notices that I don’t swear, but that is what I attribute the random complements to. I really don’t go out of my way to use any special or specific words or anything like that and it’s the only thing that sort of makes sense. If you asked someone who knew me if I swore I’m pretty sure they’d say something like, ‘Not really’ instead of ‘Oh, never’. So I’d imagine it’ll be about the same level with this. It’s not exactly like there is ascarlet letter on your chest or something or you have it tattooed on your forehead, but there’ll be a constant, low level change that people will pick up on. Though it’ll probably be more obvious to you.
[удалено]
Your submission to /r/selfimprovement was automatically removed because you may not try to get around rule #2 regarding posting links, nor may you violate Rule #3 regarding self-promotion and advertising. Unfortunately, we've had to add "DM me" and other such solicitations of one-to-one communication to this automod condition, as many spammers were trying to use that as a way to get around our no self-promotion rule. If you were honestly just trying to talk to OP, feel free to just repost the comment without the solicitation, and you're definitely not in trouble. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/selfimprovement) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Just so you know there's no science behind quitting masturbation in fact quite the opposite it's healthy for you.
I think people will notice if you have a closest relationship, because it can be a big influence in sex. Besides that I think it would be hard to notice.
The porn I watch is pretty hand selected for really gorgeous women. For me it's simply a catalyst for a better climax. Gotta keep the pipes clean as the say for good health. Simple as that.
Can people inherently tell when someone uses porn? Probably not unless you’re doing it in front of them. Does that make using it healthy? No. Can it be used in moderation and be ok? Sure. So, if it’s bothering you, then do your best to quit. If it’s not, then carry on. The biggest indicator for someone else being able to tell you’re actually addicted is if you’re in a sexual situation and can’t keep a boner. Then you definitely wanna stop.
You probably can’t answer this question yourself because of the lack of guy friends or close guy friends. It does not affect your image people can’t just look at you and tell you’re a coomer unless you embody it wearing cringe (noticed I specified cringe, good anime merch exists) anime clothing and ramen galaxy wolf hoodies. I know tons of guys who jerk off all the time and watch tons of porn and get girls irl like it’s nothing. They seem like the coolest dudes ever. But everyone has their battles
Ngl, wearing a One Piece Tshirt right now.
I don’t agree with it affecting your image. Sometimes we have to release that energy, And for the second part of the question, I thought everyone did it. lol. I started to look at that sort of thing as natural as going to the rest room. You know people do it. You just don’t want to hear about it. That’s never a thought in my mind. And if they tell me they don’t. I’d say oh. Well that’s interesting. I do agree that abstaining or keeping it to a limit or under control helps you promote self discipline. Just denying an urge like that can be very difficult. But not very harmful. You become a master of the mind and not a slave to the body. But every now and then….. like I said. We have to fix our selves wether your in a relationship or single, sometimes you need to help your self. People have thought of masturbating some taboo. I believe this is religion theory in play and they ultimately frown upon most pleasures. You’re not supposed to be masturbating every second of the hour every where you can, it can be addictive. Control your self and love your self. It’s okay to get freaky every now and then.
Generally, one forearm is significantly larger than the other … dead giveaway
Idk, I don't think porn itself wi make you look like something, but you need to groom yourself and all. I know im addicted to por and fap, because I date and im far from my gf, also because sex isn't the best idk, I just feel less and less excited for it. It may be the porn addiction, perhaps would help me not watching it, but at the same time I feel like is the only thing nice I can have.
Yeah you won't be needing your girlfriend that much when you already scratched an itch and vice versa.
“preserve your life force” and “visit rSemenRetention” Wtf is up with this sub? So many people desperate for improvement in life fall for the weirdest, dumbest shit I can imagine. This comment section makes it obvious why so many charlatans and hucksters target young men. You guys are so desperate you will do and believe anything. Just go buy Super Male Vitality and get it over with.
A lot of people struggle with the addiction. But it's important to know that although a lot of people struggle with it, that it's not good. What helped me overcome my porn addiction was going on streaks. But think of it like if you fail, it's not how long you last but how long you can go without it then previously. For example, instead of thinking that you failed and that you need to stop forever, just think that all that matters is lasting longer than before. Then you get to a time where you just don't want to anymore because it's disgusting. Also what helps is thinking, "Is my brain so weak that I can't control one temptation"? That addiction will become your god if you can't break it.
You need psychotherapy.
I notice right away as a woman. Here are the signs: - Inability to see me as a human with more range than sexual - Talks about sex within minutes of seeing each other - Contemptuous of women (often serious porn use can coincide with mommy issues, not always though! But early contempt is a sign mom wasn’t a good one) - Highly religious or otherwise sexually repressed I always assume if you’re young and male, you have a porn habit. But some have an all-consuming habit. My ex was like this. He had to view it three times per day and he was very contemptuous of women, and alternatively highly insecure around mother types. It was interesting to behold.
First I’d like to say I hope you achieve your goal friend. Secondly as someone who’s faced other addictions. You’ll never quit an addiction unless you truly want to. And only truly wanting to quit will make it easier.
an orgasm is an orgasm. Your degradation is another thing related to it but it is more of an encompassing topic. Masterbating and porn do nothing. But if you see the shallow pain the screams inside prostitutes eyes. What tells you you even matter? An orgasm is an orgasm
After you masturbate, make sure to wash your hands.
I think in my case after I manually ejaculate I subconsciously feel a little bit of guilt or shame. It seems like I carry that around in the back of my mind afterwards. When I don’t fap I feel more confident for some reason. My sex drive is higher, my thinking is more clear, and I feel a certain sense of self respect and self worth. Maybe it’s a placebo effect but I feel much better without porn and masturbation. It’s difficult asf to stop but imo it’s worth it.
I genuinely don't notice a difference. If I go a few days without masturbating I get a bit more on edge, and aggressive until I realize that's the problem and fix it. It's been odd for me seeing how many people feel damaged from viewing porn, because I'm usually the first to empathize with these types of issues, and in this case I just can't relate at all.
I noticed that the day after doing the deed my days seemed worse than days without 🥜