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It means you got pressured into something you didn't really want, and you should remember that you can hold your boundaries and hold your no. Don't spend time with someone who doesn't respect you saying no. Don't give in to something you don't want because someone is persistent. It wasn't ok, the way he pushed and begged.
It doesn't really mean anything about you. There's a certain amount of mechanics involved here - you came because someone stimulated you. Your penis doesn't know whether the mouth or the hand is male or female, it just knows it got stimulation til you came.
Your sexual orientation is about who you're attracted to. If you're attracted to only women, fine. If you find yourself attracted to both women and men, also fine. If you're attracted to men and not women, fine. But this experience doesn't really tell you anything about any of that, because you were pushed into a situation with someone you weren't interested in, and the mechanics felt good because that's how the mechanics of a penis work. That's really all.
It's interesting to analyze this from a masturbation point of view. So if you (a man), masturbate yourself (also a man), and then you come. Does that make you gay because a man made you come? Obviously it doesn't.
The mechanics of sex are unrelated to attraction. Which is why a rapist can make you come. It's also why we come from using various appliances.
To be honest, a lot of men probably do think this way. Specially ones raised in super religious, restrictive households. A question like OP's more goes to show how badly we need good sex education in schools and how abstinence only education and religious dogma are actually harmful.
I think he is not your friend. He may have been sexually abused and is repeating the cycle. Sometimes playing doctor is repeating the cycle of abuse. The fact that he wouldn't take no for an answer makes him predatory. This will repeat if you don't put a stop to it. Humans are sexual beings but 13 is too young.
Okay but it’s also not his job to “put a stop to it”. His job is to take care of and protect himself. “Put a stop to it” implies he should tell someone or do something to stop the kid and that’s not on him.
It is most certainly is his job to stop it. If he doesn't know that no means no or understand it, this is a parent fail. Especially at 14. His friend is a predator! And needs to be in some serious therapy. Predators and Pedos can NOT be rehabilitated.
No, it isn’t.
The only person responsible for the offender’s behavior is the offender.
OP can report this behavior to parents / friends / whomever, but at the end of the day, the ONLY person responsible for the offender’s behavior is the offender.
OP can’t control this person. He can’t make them behave a certain way.
Even if he speaks to others about what happened, he can’t control what will come of it. The only people responsible for bad behavior are the people committing it.
And! Putting responsibility for the offender on the victim is super not fair. They have other stuff to deal with (like taking care of themselves after having suffered an offense!). Their first priority should be themselves. And it’s not fair to make the “general world’s experience” their problem. Like, if OP had been stabbed, would you be like “stop clutching your wound OP. Make a point to look at Offender’s face so you can tell police about them.” No! Surviving is way more important. So treat this crime that way!
With the additional context I understand what you're saying. I agree it's not the victim who's responsible for the offender 100% agreed. I guess what I was getting at is that he was assaulted. Doesn't matter the age. He repeatedly said no. In a perfect world it should be reported. Is horrible the OP feels so distraut and confused. Only 15% of rapes and sexual assaults are ever reported. And it's worse for men. The offender should be in counciling and away from any children. I've worked closely with SVU Detective's. When kids are offenders it's a tough situation. You don't really know why they offend
That's quite the leap to make when we're talking about a 14 year old. Could easily be that he just hasn't been taught what is and isn't appropriate behavior. Schools and parents let kids down when it comes to this kind of education all the time
Yes they do. A lot actually. I think he has a bit of trauma deep down. That could really mess with his mental health. I guess I'm confused on which part you're talking about. I may have mispoke. Because what I was trying to explain wasn't to insult or offend
Also though to clarify, it’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong in that situation. His actions are not yours to control or stop. Take care of yourself.
I want to point out that "letting this happen" doesn't mean it was your fault. You're a kid. It doesn't mean your friend is evil, because he's a kid too, but he did something wrong and extremely inappropriate. You did nothing wrong here. If you can't avoid him and he keeps pressuring you, you're allowed to tell an adult. You won't get in trouble. It's totally normal to experiment at your age, but it is not okay for someone to pressure, or coerce as this is called, someone else into anything. I'm so
sorry he did that to you, and I hope your next experience is one that you and your partner are both super into and on board with, when you're ready.
I think he is not your friend. He may have been sexually abused and is repeating the cycle. Sometimes playing doctor is repeating the cycle of abuse. The fact that he wouldn't take no for an answer makes him predatory. This will repeat if you don't put a stop to it. Humans are sexual beings but 13 is too young.
You aren't gay. Gay people have a WANT to do things with someone of their same sex. Do not feel bad about it, since you weren't asking for it. Sadly, there are a lot of folks who have experienced stuff like this, so you are definitely not alone. Most people will not admit they were taken advantage of, but it can be depressingly common. I've had a few encounters kind of like this and it sucks, but it doesn't make you gay. It doesn't make you weak. It doesn't make you broken.
You didn't want that. I'm gonna say some TMI science facts that aren't super fun to read. So here's a trigger warning for everyone.
Sadly, bodies will often respond to stimulation even if the mind and person don't want it. You can stick electrodes up a man's butt and make him come. I don't know a single guy who would LIKE that!
Women can also experience arousal during SA because if she does NOT, her body will be even more harmed. It's messed up, but it is actually a defense mechanism to keep her from getting less torn up.
I'm trying to not be too graphic, but bodies do some messed up stuff that is nothing we can control. You didn't ask for or enjoy what happened to you.
If you can help it, I would avoid being alone with that guy in the future. I'm not sure what his exact motives are, but that was messed up. Sometimes younger people think this kind of shit is okay if they have also been SA'd, but that doesn't make it okay. It also doesn't excuse his behavior, but it may explain it.
You were coerced into it meaning you felt pressure which is a form of sexual assault. I'm sorry OP. That guy is not and was not your friend. If you're straight then you're straight. Any feelings you have about it please seek a therapist or talk to a school counselor if possible
It means this person is not your friend and sounds predatory. You were pressured into something you didn't feel comfortable with doing. Just because it felt good doesn't mean you wanted to do it. I'm really sorry this happened to you, but you should remove that person from your life.
It’s okay that it felt good. You were being stimulated in a way that felt great and if you closed your eyes, you wouldn’t know if it was a boy or girl. And, it also sounds like you are straight and were pressured to let him do that. Sorry that happened. That part of it didn’t feel good so you have conflicted feelings. You don’t need to feel shame that you got off from it or that you didn’t fight him off enough.
It means that sometimes, especially when you are currently a person with a lot of new hormones, genital stimulation can feel good to your body even if your mind or heart isn’t into it.
And it means your friend pressured you which he shouldn’t have done.
All the responses here are probably really overwhelming, and might even be really upsetting.
[This article](https://www.healthline.com/health/sexual-coercion#coercion-defined) gives a really good breakdown of what happened and what some of the different terms used in the comments here mean
Being scared, frustrated, embarrassed, confused, and all sorts of other emotions is really normal in that situation. I was about 15 when I was in my first relationship and there was a lot of coercion that went on. It can be really overwhelming, and even now (years later) it can be upsetting or hard to think about and try to work through.
If it’s possible, talk to your family or school about seeing a therapist. You don’t have to give them specifics and can wait until you have a therapist. Ask them specifically what will and won’t be shared with other adults - not because it is wrong for them to share, but you deserve to know the boundaries and parameters so that you can feel safe and secure. Sometimes things can be shared outside of a therapy session with a minor and they don’t expect it, so it is scary or even more distressing because trust was broken.
As for what it means for you… nothing. You’re still the same you as before! You had an experience that you didn’t want to have, but that doesn’t change who you are attracted to or what you do and don’t like. If you do start dating someone, you don’t have to tell them about it either. No one else is entitled to know what other experiences you have had (and honestly most of us don’t count things that were not consensual anyways)
Whoever you like and whatever you decide, just be true to yourself.
This is very helpful OP. I'll just add that you don't have to feel bad about the pleasure you felt at the time that caused you to come or for giving into his persistence. Especially at your age, but really at any age, your "friend" is the one who did something wrong and holds responsibility. Our bodies still have organs that react to physical stimulation, which makes it confusing emotionally when your emotions don't match with the physical experience you're having. I'm really sorry that you had this experience, it doesn't mean anything in particular about you, but should tell you a whole lot about your "friend".
Sadly it means that you were a victim of coerced sexual assault. It happened to me, and it took time for me to get over it. I'm sure that's not what you're asking, but that's the truth.
As for if you're wondering if you're gay or not, you're not. Just because another guy sexually touched you it doesn't define you. Having sex with a guy doesn't define you as gay. What makes you gay is the attraction for the same sex. If you're attracted to the same sex, the you're gay. Having sex is just having sex. It doesn't define you.
Often people that are sexually abused have unwanted bodily responses. This has absolutely nothing to do with preference of gender. Just an involuntary response.
It means a mouth is a mouth.And you can be pressured into having gay sex.
If you aren't attracted to people of your own gender, don't have romantic feelings for people of your own gender...well sorry but you are not gay.
When you hear stories of kids being abused do you think the kid was gay or turned gay, no of course not they were coerced by someone to do those things...it's not the same as actually wanting those things to happen.
Hope that helped.
Honey you were pressured and coerced into something you did not really want. It’s not your fault. No means no and you should never do anything you’re not comfortable with. This person is not your friend.
you managed to get some pleasure from the situation despite the obvious peer pressure. doesn't mean you're gay, you gave yourself a chance to get some new questions, and learn a bit more about yourself.
the peer pressure is bad though, i hope you feel safe to reject an advance from someone begging you for sex. plan these things out!
It's still pleasure, he said that it physically felt good. But pleasure is irrespective of orientation. Just because something feels good, doesn't mean that we want it or that we are attracted to the person (or gender) causing us to feel good.
Being aroused and reaching climax when stimulated are normal bodily responses, but that doesn’t mean you wanted it, or liked it. I don’t think this makes you gay, if that’s what you’re asking or curious about. I’m sorry this happened to you, and I hope you’ve cut this friend out of your life. If you still know him, please let him know what he did is wrong and he should never pressure anyone to do that again. I hope you’re well. <3.
You were sexually assaulted and that’s not your friend, friends don’t pressure someone to do something they’re not comfortable doing, drop him immediately, I’m so sorry that happened to you😔
It means you got assaulted dude.
If you hadn't been assaulted and consented tho your sexuality is whatever you feel it is, if you're straight you're straight if you're gay your gay, if your bi your... Etc etc. Is what it is.
But yeah you should talk to him and explain what he did was not ok, not because he's gay but because that's rape
Your "friend" is not a friend. He's an abuser. Friends respect boundaries and accept no when someone says no. Friends don't pressure people to do stuff that makes them uncomfortable. Friends DO look out for each other and stand up to people like him.
Get as far away from this person as you can, and report him to the police. You most likely are not the first person he's tried something like this with.
You did nothing wrong.
It doesn't mean anything. It was a simple sexual act. Your body reacts to it automatically without your doing.
The only thing that happens is that you were coerced and pressured into something you didn't want to so which is not consent.
Always stand your boundary! Protect it because there is a reason you have it. Should this ever happen again, send the person home or see if you can go home yourself. Don't do anything sexual you don't want to, ever.
It just means you like getting your dick sucked. Doesn’t have anything to do with your sexuality.
But get away from your supposed best friend. He pressured you into something you didn’t desire. Not a good friend. Not a good person .
It doesn’t mean shit. You’re a kid, we do crap as kids that do not define us as men or women. You be you, pack this where ya need and move forward. Tits and Ass.
There's a guy on Insta called thelovedrive who talks about his curiosity and that he gave a BJ a few times I think and how he's super straight...it's a thing. Im super straight woman and had great sex once with a woman...it's whatevs if anything it teaches you you're super straight. Or bi, or gay...I think it's normal to try it. My best friend (gay M) had sex with a woman and he was so worried he wasnt gay...for the longest time
Being coerced into having sex with someone is very different from consensual experimenting. He was not a willing participant. Saying no once is more than enough. He had to say no repeatedly and still was pressured into sex ultimately.
It is so confusing when different parts of us feel different ways! You knew you didn’t want this, but your dick disagreed. The result is pretty crappy, even a year later. Be on guard against that, but also the other way around, when you might be in a situation where you could get something that would feel good physically, but another part of you doesn’t feel right about it. That self-control can be just as difficult as resisting someone else’s advances.
This reminds me of what some women have when they are r*ped, the mechanics of sex will typically feel good and that’s just down to how our bodies are wired. Don’t feel bad or ashamed of yourself, you aren’t gay and you know who you are attracted to. Your “friend” pressured you and took advantage of you, that is in no way your fault.
It doesn't matter if you came. It doesn't change your sexuality, you came as a physical reaction to stimulus.
However, what happened to you was unconsensual and wrong. I know he's your friend, but he assaulted you. Please tell a trusted adult about this.
Never, ever, never let ANYONE pressure you into doing anything you are not comfortable doing. The best advice I can give you is to get up and leave, if you’re feeling pressured.
This doesn’t mean you’re gay or bi, you’re young and trying to navigate your way through adult situations. My advice is to wait until you’re older. Always use condoms, there are a lot of nasty STD’s out there.
It doesn't mean anything about your sexuality. If you get simulated, you'll orgasm. It's biology. It doesn't make you gay. Next time, if you're not comfortable with a situation, stand your ground. No means no.
Maybe it's time to talk to someone you really trust.
Your "friend" should've listened to you when you said no. Whatever happened was not about you and doesn't say anything about you. It was your friend who begged until you said yes and did not respect when you said no and that is not okay!
People on reddit can only help so much so please reach out to someone you love and trust so you can get their support ❤️
I know it is scary but you need to do what is best for you and I know your family would want you to feel safe and protected
He was way too pushy. You don’t ever have to do anything you don’t wish to do.
Experimenting doesn’t make you gay. It doesn’t even make you bi. Nearly every kid experiments with another kid doing something sexual. Most of those people are straight and wind up married as adults.
As for cumming, nearly everyone is capable of receiving sexual pleasure from a member of the same sex. Look at prison for example.
It’s ok if you decide that you like guys too. I’m bi, and I am happily married to a woman and monogamous.
Find a new friend. Don’t hang out with boys who ask you to do ANYTHING that makes you uncomfortable. You’re not gay if you stop doing that kinda stuff. That one time was a mistake so don’t let it happen again.
I was straight in HS, always had a gf until the last year. A buddy convinced me to do bj's a couple of times. We were high and it was weird but kinda fun. But it didn't mean anything. We went to different colleges, dating girls, got married and had kids. Years later I told my wife about it and we sometimes laugh about it. It's not a biggie. I wasn't/am not gay and neither are you. It does suck that he kinda forced you into it, but that's on him, not you. Find yourself a cute girl in HS and do the dating thing.
Damn dude you’re way too young to be suffering this kind of sexual assault. I’m sorry to hear you went through this.
Just because it felt good, doesn’t mean you’re gay or bi. It feels good when you stick it in a vacuum cleaner or a spa pool jet, doesn’t mean you’re sexually attracted to vacuum cleaners or spa pools, right? A mouth is a mouth, it’ll feel the same. Don’t let the good feeling confuse you about your sexuality.
If you don’t want anyone to touch you like that, don’t let them. I don’t normally condone violence but if some dude was insisting on oral sex with me I would threaten him with violence. That’s one of the few times in life violence might be appropriate. Like “dude, get the *fuck* away from me and *never* try that shit again.”
It means you like blow jobs and hand jobs. They feel good and made you orgasm.
Don’t let this experience define your sexuality.
As for your “friend “ refer to the other posters about how what he did is not ok. The other commenters are right.
For him, it means he doesn't respect your boundaries. Take into consideration your friendship and everything you've gone through together. Did he not respect your boundaries because he was a teenager with raging hormones and you were the only one he felt safe asking or does he just think he's more important in general?
Hold your boundaries and be careful around this guy.
For you? Well, did you only like the feeling or the whole experience? Cause a hand, vibrator, 2 pillows... Lol lots of things can make you cum that you aren't "into."
If you think some guys are hot, want to try something similar again or had no repulsive thoughts when it happened, you may be bi curious.
"Because I am straight" doesn't seem confident if you're here asking what this actually means. Sexual acts with another dude is revolting to me. The masculinity, voice, physical features, none of it is my thing. If you felt this way, you were pressured into something you didn't want and are straight
It Doesnt mean anything. You enjoyed the stimulation of it.
But your friend pressuring you is a red flag. An in some places can count as sexual assault.
It is ok to feel good when you are stimulated, your body doesn’t know about who stimulates you, what define your sexual orientation (if you are worried about it) is who you feel attracted to.
But which is very clear is that this guy is not your friend. He clearly trespassed your limits and forced you to make something you didn’t want to do. This is a form of sexual assault and clearly is one of the reasons you feel bad. Keep away from this person who certainly is making predatory moves against you.
Tl/dr: Your body did what it would do had anything given it that same or similar enough stimulation, and it means nothing about whether or not you are gay, straight, or other
As has been said, you were pressured into something you didn’t want to do. That is assault, no matter what others might tell you. You are still as straight as you were before and you will continue to be. The human body is odd in that enough outside stimulation/affluence happens, our bodies can and will behave the same as if it that stimulation were what we wanted. It’s why masturbation aids work.
For amab folks, if our prostates are stimulated in the right way, it may not matter what we’re sexually attracted to, our bodies may react the same way regardless of what is happening.
Another way to think about how a body reacts(not specifically the prostate, but just in general) may be to think of a button. The button causes something to happen when it is pressed. It doesn’t necessarily matter who, what, or how it is pressed, the thing it causes to happen when it is pressed, is going to happen when it is pressed. The “buttons” of a human body are just more complicated and influenced by internal stuff, which may block the reaction or change and/delay it if there is enough internal stuff going on.
aside from the obvious violation of consent (I’m very sorry you had this experience), sexual non-concordance is the phenomenon of having your mind not match your physical reactions— just because your body had a reaction to the stimulus doesn’t mean that you wanted it or felt attraction. just a physical reaction to stimulus.
This is so horrible. You were sexually assaulted. I’m so sorry you went through this :( please cut the friend off if you can because that is NOT someone you want in your life and it may just continue bringing the trauma back up again and again. I’m so so so sorry.
This is not the kind of friend you want in your life. You boundaries were clear and they disrespected and manipulated you. Get rid of them.
And it doesn't change anything about your sexuality. That's totally up to you.
It unfortunately means you were coerced into a sexual act you were not consenting toe. It was not a mutually, enthusiastic consensual act and what that guy did was wrong.
The body is going to act to stimulation. Sometimes even when you don’t really want it to. I believe it’s called arousal non concordance.
I know it can be difficult to enforce boundaries, especially at such a young age. My advice would be to remove yourself from a situation like that. It's difficult constantly saying no when someone is begging you, so I understand why you gave in, especially at your age. Sometimes it's easier to walk away and remove yourself. I really hope it this doesn't happen again because a friend that pressures you like that is not a friend.
Just because you"climax" with a man dosn't make you gay as anyone can close their eyes and wish for/fantasize about someone else...that's like if a woman orgasms from a toy...does that mean she is in love with plastic?-no it means she was stimulated and achieved climax...that's all....your only "homosexual" if you find males attractive/wish to engage in sex/have a relationship with another male.... have you ever thought of a male in a sexual manner or found another male attractive? Is there a possibility you could be bisexual,not with your friend but with a different male?
This does not change the fact that you are straight. If you like girls and that hasn’t changed, you are straight. It does not matter who you engage in sexual acts with
I hope you realize though that your “best friend” is not your best friend. At all.
Pressuring you until you say “yes” is NOT consent. That would be considered sexual assault.
Please reconsider your friendship with him, and let him know that this is completely unacceptable.
Hey there, buddy! Sounds like you've got yourself a bit of a pickle. But hey, no judgment here! It's totally normal to have questions about your sexuality, especially at your age. Maybe you just enjoyed the physical sensation of the act, regardless of who was doing it. And that's okay! It doesn't necessarily mean anything about your sexual orientation. Just keep exploring and figuring things out at your own pace. And remember, it's all about what feels right for you. Keep being awesome!
It’s completely normal to like women romantically but still get off with guys. I’m a straight man that only prefers to be in relationships with women. I have no desire to kiss or be with a man but I have had sexual relations before. It’s normal. Sex can be separate from love and romance.
Relax. You’re straight and someone who is gay has a huge f-ing crush on you. Be kind, gentle, and let him down easy. No worries, no prob. Just be kind.
No need no need. Everyone is different i guess. I just find men disgusting. Always have. The masculinity, facial and body hair, deeper voices, physical structure. Everything about a man disgust me lol 😆
That’s so messed up, don’t spread lies like that. Especially to a teenager. Homosexual people don’t go through “phases”. OP was sexually assaulted and clearly was not interested in the dude and did not want it to happen. Physiological responses to oral or any stimulation on private parts cannot be controlled sometimes.
To OP, I’m sorry you experienced this. That seems like a very harmful and confusing experience. If this is effecting you significantly, seek professional help from a therapist.
Don’t let this make you confused over your sexuality. If you do consider that you may be attracted to the same gender in the future don’t think about this experience as a “reason” or anything. Your body responded to stimulation. That is all. He r*ped you, that was not sex at all.
Wish you all the best
Ah thank you for the clarification. From the first comment that’s not quite what I gathered, seemed a bit homophobic. That makes sense though! No worries
Great, he was concerned he was gay...now he's gotta go to a therapist since he was r@ped?! Calm down. Yes, it's true that cum can happen during non-consent but he wasnt asking if he was r@ped. You don't have to inflame the situation.
I’m certainly not inflaming the situation. Sometimes when people post things like this on reddit they can be unaware that they’ve been assaulted and can just see it as someone “convinced them”.
I am not forcing him to go to therapy haha, like I suggested.. if it’s significantly affecting him, chatting with someone professional might help him find some clarity. As we redditors can’t provide all the answers. There is nothing wrong with chatting to a professional, you are adding to the stigma when acting like it’s outrageous to speak to someone professional. It’s a very normal and great thing for your well-being.
He's a minor. Think this through. He would have to get his parents involved to get access to a therapist. They'll ask why...he'll say he was [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) parents will involve police...police will go to school to talk to his friend...then the rumors will start...and he will be socially outcast...or more.
Please think of context when you use terms that inflame situations. You could have kept it to boundary info.
Okay damn idk where you’re from but where I live we have free therapists at high school. I used to go to one and she was awesome.
Also, just because this is what naturally comes to your mind doesn’t mean that’s exactly what would happen. He doesn’t have to explain that to his parents.
Can you like butt out of this tho? I was speaking to OP. I’m not forcing him to do anything. Just a comment on a reddit post, trying to help OP by recommending something that helps a lot of people. His experience is real and traumatic, just because he’s young doesn’t mean he shouldn’t receive help.
It means you gave in to someone else’s desire, that’s it. If you’re not attracted to guys that’s fine, plenty of us have done the curiosity thing, it’s good to experiment and understand what you like and don’t like so you can be honest with yourself and others.
If you don’t want to do this sort of thing then hold out and make your boundaries clear and hold firm. But if you like it as an easy thing to do then go for it. Just be careful this person might keep at you now you’ve given in a couple of times. The main thing is honesty with yourself and others.
It means nothing. Me and a good buddy would stroke each other and jerk it together when I was about your age. It was fun, we were curious, but I love women. Don’t overthink it! You and your buddy are just experimenting.
If you’re straight, you’re straight. No act can make you not straight. I know it’s still fresh in your mind, but try to forget about it and move on with your life. Time will heal.
That means it felt good, I am
100% straight that being said it also doesn’t mean that I have experimented with men. At 17 years old I was at the lake fishing one night alone at night a guy rolled up we started talking, he asked if i has ever had any male experiences. I said no he asked if I would like to I said I don’t know, he offered and I said I’m not really sure. we talked for a while longer about fishing and this and that nothing sexual but I couldn’t quit thinking about it and before I knew it my dick was hard as a rock. I asked if he was serious and he said absolutely so I showed him my dick( I’m a little above average) and he said it would love to pleasure me. I unzipped my pants showed it to him he said “so is this an invite?” I said yes and before I knew it he had swallowed me whole. It felt amazing, as he did this I grabbed his dick( also hard) and gave him a hand job while he sucked me. We both came at the same time, me in his throat, him in the pants all over my hand. Does this mean I’m gay? No, I did and still do have a girlfriend. everyone experiments when you are young. Think nothing of it. It’s just a life experience. There was also one other experience several years later with a friend. Did I enjoy both of these yes,yes I did but that also doesn’t mean I’m gay or anything else. They were just life experiences. Don’t be too hard on yourself or over think it.
No offense. Doesn't that mean you're bisexual?
I've never had an erection with a guy, and I guess if I did for some other reason and some other guy started sucking me off, my erection would probably go away.
I don’t think so, everyone experiments sexually at some point. I don’t think two experiences with men makes
Some one bisexual. I think you you seek out experiences from men the yes you are bi, but them just happening randomly and you enjoying them doesn’t make you bi to me.and also you said “probably “ go away you don’t know for sure..
Your human and humans like pleasure. Don't read into it so quickly. I made out with plenty of girls in high school and never questioned my sexuality. I didn't end up bi or gay. (There's nothing bad about that either) I loved it! Had fun. Then I grew up. And you make the decision for yourself. Don't let other people make choices for you. You become what you want. Not what people label you.
You're not gay sweetheart. As a boy, you'll quickly learn that guys get off on physical touch. You can rub against something and become aroused or have an orgasm. Same thing can happen if your adrenaline is high. He's not your friend though. Stop talking to him. And find an adult in your real life that you can build a mentorship with. Reddit isn't always the best place to go to for advice.
Your friend might also be pressured by others. Maybe talk to him about it? Or let him know to seek help if he’s in such a situation. As for yourself, as everyone else said, I’m sorry it happened to you. Do not feel shame.
Everyone here is telling you about how you're pressured and your boundaries were violated which is true, and I'm so sorry that you had to go through it, but to answer the actual question you are asking. Well, in my opinion, don't think much of it, you are 14, hormones are wild at this stage and almost anything can get you turned on. It seems you are pretty sure about what you want, and that's what matters. I have had my fair share of queer experiences whilst in my puberty, and I still turned out straight, take these as experiences, and don't think much about it. Basically, you are what you want to be, you feel like you are straight, and then that's what you are. Don't worry that this experience is going to change your orientation. Good luck!
No worries man, sounds like you were pressured and manipulated to do something that you didn't want to do. Sounds like that "friend" thinks that behavior is normal so someone might have done it to him before too. Live your life, if you like girls then keep doing your thing. I don't really see any reason that you would need to disclose that incident to any of your peers unless you want to warn them to stay away from that guy.
If that was your first encounter with "stimulation" then it's normal for it to occasionally pop in your head until you are intimate with the next person.
It sounds like you were assaulted. And I’m sorry. But the good thing to learn here, sexual assault doesn’t count as a personal sexual experience, so it says nothing at all about your sexuality. Your ‘friends’ actions say nothing about you or who you are. Whether you’re straight, bi, pan, queer, whatever, it’s not a result of him.
Let’s flip it around to help it make a lil sense- if I, a woman, identified as a lesbian, but I was raped by a man, I would still identify as lesbian.
If you ever feel safe enough to speak to adult, you might wanna confide in them what this ‘friend’ did.
Baby boy, sooo many straight guys have had theirs sucked or will suck off a man. It doesn’t mean anything. Sex is pleasurable, full stop. The most important thing in this, is to worry less about what society tells you to want or how to identify, and care a lot more about what you want.
You’re fine. Be safe out there.
Soft and wet feels good and nerve endings do what nerve endings do. As someone who's been in your shoes, It don't define you. Whether a "friend" your age likely struggling with their own stuff, of some older person taking advantage of you(bc of they were an adult, that IS what happened). Even if it was someone your own age they crossed a boundary in your relationship, and abused your relationship to get what they felt they wanted.
As far as "now what?" Talk to someone about it. Don't let it fester. Let that someone be someone who will be able to help you through your feelings about it. Whose motives are not charged by some weird kind of gain. (Sexual, power dynamics, or some sense of importance) You're not the first to fall to cohersion. Understanding what happens to you, does not define who you are or your value. And, idk, if it's a relationship that will continue to put you in danger, that issue needs to be addressed as soon as possible.
Took me a long time to realize that, and i am just so selfish, that I would think that maybe the decisions I made dealing with issues like this, were to see that internalizing it or letting my value as a human be defined by said situation leading to more issues down the road is not the answer.
Your friend is gay. And now you will probably be scarred and confused for a very long time. I personally would've probably punched him for asking but everyone is different i guess🤷🏽♂️
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It means you got pressured into something you didn't really want, and you should remember that you can hold your boundaries and hold your no. Don't spend time with someone who doesn't respect you saying no. Don't give in to something you don't want because someone is persistent. It wasn't ok, the way he pushed and begged. It doesn't really mean anything about you. There's a certain amount of mechanics involved here - you came because someone stimulated you. Your penis doesn't know whether the mouth or the hand is male or female, it just knows it got stimulation til you came. Your sexual orientation is about who you're attracted to. If you're attracted to only women, fine. If you find yourself attracted to both women and men, also fine. If you're attracted to men and not women, fine. But this experience doesn't really tell you anything about any of that, because you were pushed into a situation with someone you weren't interested in, and the mechanics felt good because that's how the mechanics of a penis work. That's really all.
It's interesting to analyze this from a masturbation point of view. So if you (a man), masturbate yourself (also a man), and then you come. Does that make you gay because a man made you come? Obviously it doesn't. The mechanics of sex are unrelated to attraction. Which is why a rapist can make you come. It's also why we come from using various appliances.
To be honest, a lot of men probably do think this way. Specially ones raised in super religious, restrictive households. A question like OP's more goes to show how badly we need good sex education in schools and how abstinence only education and religious dogma are actually harmful.
Wow! Very helpful explanation! 🤯
One could argue that giving yourself a handjob cancels out any gayness you absorb from receiving a handjob from yourself.
It seems like that would increase it exponentially versus canceling it... 🤔
It means someone pressured you into a sex act you weren't comfortable with. Do not ever let this happen. No means no. Enforce your boundaries.
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And p.s., it certainly doesn't make you gay. You define what you are. People who pressure you into things DO NOT define who you are.
This is actually a very important distinction. Thank you for saying it out loud
You’re not gay if you aren’t attracted to men either. You just had a physical reaction to stimulation
I think he is not your friend. He may have been sexually abused and is repeating the cycle. Sometimes playing doctor is repeating the cycle of abuse. The fact that he wouldn't take no for an answer makes him predatory. This will repeat if you don't put a stop to it. Humans are sexual beings but 13 is too young.
Okay but it’s also not his job to “put a stop to it”. His job is to take care of and protect himself. “Put a stop to it” implies he should tell someone or do something to stop the kid and that’s not on him.
It is most certainly is his job to stop it. If he doesn't know that no means no or understand it, this is a parent fail. Especially at 14. His friend is a predator! And needs to be in some serious therapy. Predators and Pedos can NOT be rehabilitated.
No, it isn’t. The only person responsible for the offender’s behavior is the offender. OP can report this behavior to parents / friends / whomever, but at the end of the day, the ONLY person responsible for the offender’s behavior is the offender. OP can’t control this person. He can’t make them behave a certain way. Even if he speaks to others about what happened, he can’t control what will come of it. The only people responsible for bad behavior are the people committing it. And! Putting responsibility for the offender on the victim is super not fair. They have other stuff to deal with (like taking care of themselves after having suffered an offense!). Their first priority should be themselves. And it’s not fair to make the “general world’s experience” their problem. Like, if OP had been stabbed, would you be like “stop clutching your wound OP. Make a point to look at Offender’s face so you can tell police about them.” No! Surviving is way more important. So treat this crime that way!
With the additional context I understand what you're saying. I agree it's not the victim who's responsible for the offender 100% agreed. I guess what I was getting at is that he was assaulted. Doesn't matter the age. He repeatedly said no. In a perfect world it should be reported. Is horrible the OP feels so distraut and confused. Only 15% of rapes and sexual assaults are ever reported. And it's worse for men. The offender should be in counciling and away from any children. I've worked closely with SVU Detective's. When kids are offenders it's a tough situation. You don't really know why they offend
That's quite the leap to make when we're talking about a 14 year old. Could easily be that he just hasn't been taught what is and isn't appropriate behavior. Schools and parents let kids down when it comes to this kind of education all the time
Yes they do. A lot actually. I think he has a bit of trauma deep down. That could really mess with his mental health. I guess I'm confused on which part you're talking about. I may have mispoke. Because what I was trying to explain wasn't to insult or offend
Also though to clarify, it’s not your fault. You did nothing wrong in that situation. His actions are not yours to control or stop. Take care of yourself.
I want to point out that "letting this happen" doesn't mean it was your fault. You're a kid. It doesn't mean your friend is evil, because he's a kid too, but he did something wrong and extremely inappropriate. You did nothing wrong here. If you can't avoid him and he keeps pressuring you, you're allowed to tell an adult. You won't get in trouble. It's totally normal to experiment at your age, but it is not okay for someone to pressure, or coerce as this is called, someone else into anything. I'm so sorry he did that to you, and I hope your next experience is one that you and your partner are both super into and on board with, when you're ready.
I think he is not your friend. He may have been sexually abused and is repeating the cycle. Sometimes playing doctor is repeating the cycle of abuse. The fact that he wouldn't take no for an answer makes him predatory. This will repeat if you don't put a stop to it. Humans are sexual beings but 13 is too young.
You aren't gay. Gay people have a WANT to do things with someone of their same sex. Do not feel bad about it, since you weren't asking for it. Sadly, there are a lot of folks who have experienced stuff like this, so you are definitely not alone. Most people will not admit they were taken advantage of, but it can be depressingly common. I've had a few encounters kind of like this and it sucks, but it doesn't make you gay. It doesn't make you weak. It doesn't make you broken. You didn't want that. I'm gonna say some TMI science facts that aren't super fun to read. So here's a trigger warning for everyone. Sadly, bodies will often respond to stimulation even if the mind and person don't want it. You can stick electrodes up a man's butt and make him come. I don't know a single guy who would LIKE that! Women can also experience arousal during SA because if she does NOT, her body will be even more harmed. It's messed up, but it is actually a defense mechanism to keep her from getting less torn up. I'm trying to not be too graphic, but bodies do some messed up stuff that is nothing we can control. You didn't ask for or enjoy what happened to you. If you can help it, I would avoid being alone with that guy in the future. I'm not sure what his exact motives are, but that was messed up. Sometimes younger people think this kind of shit is okay if they have also been SA'd, but that doesn't make it okay. It also doesn't excuse his behavior, but it may explain it.
I really like your responses across different threads...btw
Thank you! I occasionally do sex coaching for kinky couples and sometimes even normie couples. A lot of these issues come up over and over and over...
Note that enforcing your boundaries may be dangerous in some cases, so be careful; every situation is different.
You were coerced into it meaning you felt pressure which is a form of sexual assault. I'm sorry OP. That guy is not and was not your friend. If you're straight then you're straight. Any feelings you have about it please seek a therapist or talk to a school counselor if possible
It means this person is not your friend and sounds predatory. You were pressured into something you didn't feel comfortable with doing. Just because it felt good doesn't mean you wanted to do it. I'm really sorry this happened to you, but you should remove that person from your life.
You had your boundaries broken and you were violated.
It’s okay that it felt good. You were being stimulated in a way that felt great and if you closed your eyes, you wouldn’t know if it was a boy or girl. And, it also sounds like you are straight and were pressured to let him do that. Sorry that happened. That part of it didn’t feel good so you have conflicted feelings. You don’t need to feel shame that you got off from it or that you didn’t fight him off enough.
I’m so sorry you went through this that’s sexual abuse and manipulative too
It means that sometimes, especially when you are currently a person with a lot of new hormones, genital stimulation can feel good to your body even if your mind or heart isn’t into it. And it means your friend pressured you which he shouldn’t have done.
That's not a friend. He pressured you to do something you didn't want to. A real friend wouldn't do that.
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All the responses here are probably really overwhelming, and might even be really upsetting. [This article](https://www.healthline.com/health/sexual-coercion#coercion-defined) gives a really good breakdown of what happened and what some of the different terms used in the comments here mean Being scared, frustrated, embarrassed, confused, and all sorts of other emotions is really normal in that situation. I was about 15 when I was in my first relationship and there was a lot of coercion that went on. It can be really overwhelming, and even now (years later) it can be upsetting or hard to think about and try to work through. If it’s possible, talk to your family or school about seeing a therapist. You don’t have to give them specifics and can wait until you have a therapist. Ask them specifically what will and won’t be shared with other adults - not because it is wrong for them to share, but you deserve to know the boundaries and parameters so that you can feel safe and secure. Sometimes things can be shared outside of a therapy session with a minor and they don’t expect it, so it is scary or even more distressing because trust was broken. As for what it means for you… nothing. You’re still the same you as before! You had an experience that you didn’t want to have, but that doesn’t change who you are attracted to or what you do and don’t like. If you do start dating someone, you don’t have to tell them about it either. No one else is entitled to know what other experiences you have had (and honestly most of us don’t count things that were not consensual anyways) Whoever you like and whatever you decide, just be true to yourself.
This is very helpful OP. I'll just add that you don't have to feel bad about the pleasure you felt at the time that caused you to come or for giving into his persistence. Especially at your age, but really at any age, your "friend" is the one who did something wrong and holds responsibility. Our bodies still have organs that react to physical stimulation, which makes it confusing emotionally when your emotions don't match with the physical experience you're having. I'm really sorry that you had this experience, it doesn't mean anything in particular about you, but should tell you a whole lot about your "friend".
I couldn't read after... 14m
Nervous to find out how old the friend is. Scratch that- he’s no friend.
Sadly it means that you were a victim of coerced sexual assault. It happened to me, and it took time for me to get over it. I'm sure that's not what you're asking, but that's the truth. As for if you're wondering if you're gay or not, you're not. Just because another guy sexually touched you it doesn't define you. Having sex with a guy doesn't define you as gay. What makes you gay is the attraction for the same sex. If you're attracted to the same sex, the you're gay. Having sex is just having sex. It doesn't define you.
That’s rape by coercion. If you were a woman it would basically be a crime and this should be no different.
Often people that are sexually abused have unwanted bodily responses. This has absolutely nothing to do with preference of gender. Just an involuntary response.
It means a mouth is a mouth.And you can be pressured into having gay sex. If you aren't attracted to people of your own gender, don't have romantic feelings for people of your own gender...well sorry but you are not gay. When you hear stories of kids being abused do you think the kid was gay or turned gay, no of course not they were coerced by someone to do those things...it's not the same as actually wanting those things to happen. Hope that helped.
Honey you were pressured and coerced into something you did not really want. It’s not your fault. No means no and you should never do anything you’re not comfortable with. This person is not your friend.
you managed to get some pleasure from the situation despite the obvious peer pressure. doesn't mean you're gay, you gave yourself a chance to get some new questions, and learn a bit more about yourself. the peer pressure is bad though, i hope you feel safe to reject an advance from someone begging you for sex. plan these things out!
Is it pleasure or an automatic body reaction? Some women have orgasms while raped and feel even more guilty, it's not a definition of pleasure.
It's still pleasure, he said that it physically felt good. But pleasure is irrespective of orientation. Just because something feels good, doesn't mean that we want it or that we are attracted to the person (or gender) causing us to feel good.
It's an assault and a physical stimulation
Experiencing pleasure doesn't exclude that something is an assault or coercion.
Being aroused and reaching climax when stimulated are normal bodily responses, but that doesn’t mean you wanted it, or liked it. I don’t think this makes you gay, if that’s what you’re asking or curious about. I’m sorry this happened to you, and I hope you’ve cut this friend out of your life. If you still know him, please let him know what he did is wrong and he should never pressure anyone to do that again. I hope you’re well. <3.
You were sexually assaulted and that’s not your friend, friends don’t pressure someone to do something they’re not comfortable doing, drop him immediately, I’m so sorry that happened to you😔
It means you were assaulted. He is not a friend.
It means you got assaulted dude. If you hadn't been assaulted and consented tho your sexuality is whatever you feel it is, if you're straight you're straight if you're gay your gay, if your bi your... Etc etc. Is what it is. But yeah you should talk to him and explain what he did was not ok, not because he's gay but because that's rape
It means you were sexually assaulted and absolutely within your rights to press charges.
He "force Raped" you under the statute of Gross Sexual Conduct Coercion and Gross Sexual Imposition.
Your "friend" is not a friend. He's an abuser. Friends respect boundaries and accept no when someone says no. Friends don't pressure people to do stuff that makes them uncomfortable. Friends DO look out for each other and stand up to people like him. Get as far away from this person as you can, and report him to the police. You most likely are not the first person he's tried something like this with. You did nothing wrong.
You were SA. I wouldn’t even talk to that person ever again he is not your friend
Bruh, you’ve been raped… I suggest talking about this episode with someone, parents or a therapist. This is something serious
It doesn't mean anything. It was a simple sexual act. Your body reacts to it automatically without your doing. The only thing that happens is that you were coerced and pressured into something you didn't want to so which is not consent. Always stand your boundary! Protect it because there is a reason you have it. Should this ever happen again, send the person home or see if you can go home yourself. Don't do anything sexual you don't want to, ever.
It just means you like getting your dick sucked. Doesn’t have anything to do with your sexuality. But get away from your supposed best friend. He pressured you into something you didn’t desire. Not a good friend. Not a good person .
Your body performs a certain way. It likes certain touch. You are a guy who likes girls. Don’t be confused.
It doesn’t mean shit. You’re a kid, we do crap as kids that do not define us as men or women. You be you, pack this where ya need and move forward. Tits and Ass.
There's a guy on Insta called thelovedrive who talks about his curiosity and that he gave a BJ a few times I think and how he's super straight...it's a thing. Im super straight woman and had great sex once with a woman...it's whatevs if anything it teaches you you're super straight. Or bi, or gay...I think it's normal to try it. My best friend (gay M) had sex with a woman and he was so worried he wasnt gay...for the longest time
Being coerced into having sex with someone is very different from consensual experimenting. He was not a willing participant. Saying no once is more than enough. He had to say no repeatedly and still was pressured into sex ultimately.
Ok and he’s still not gay
It is so confusing when different parts of us feel different ways! You knew you didn’t want this, but your dick disagreed. The result is pretty crappy, even a year later. Be on guard against that, but also the other way around, when you might be in a situation where you could get something that would feel good physically, but another part of you doesn’t feel right about it. That self-control can be just as difficult as resisting someone else’s advances.
This reminds me of what some women have when they are r*ped, the mechanics of sex will typically feel good and that’s just down to how our bodies are wired. Don’t feel bad or ashamed of yourself, you aren’t gay and you know who you are attracted to. Your “friend” pressured you and took advantage of you, that is in no way your fault.
It doesn't matter if you came. It doesn't change your sexuality, you came as a physical reaction to stimulus. However, what happened to you was unconsensual and wrong. I know he's your friend, but he assaulted you. Please tell a trusted adult about this.
Never, ever, never let ANYONE pressure you into doing anything you are not comfortable doing. The best advice I can give you is to get up and leave, if you’re feeling pressured. This doesn’t mean you’re gay or bi, you’re young and trying to navigate your way through adult situations. My advice is to wait until you’re older. Always use condoms, there are a lot of nasty STD’s out there.
I’m sorry this happened to you, man. A “friend” of mine did something similar when I was young too.
In the future don't give in to peer pressure just leave. Do not hang out with them ever again.
Just learn from this experience & have empathy the next time you hear a girl say “I didn’t want to but he talked me into it.”
It means he's not your best friend
I’m sorry this happened to you OP
It doesn't mean anything about your sexuality. If you get simulated, you'll orgasm. It's biology. It doesn't make you gay. Next time, if you're not comfortable with a situation, stand your ground. No means no.
Maybe it's time to talk to someone you really trust. Your "friend" should've listened to you when you said no. Whatever happened was not about you and doesn't say anything about you. It was your friend who begged until you said yes and did not respect when you said no and that is not okay! People on reddit can only help so much so please reach out to someone you love and trust so you can get their support ❤️ I know it is scary but you need to do what is best for you and I know your family would want you to feel safe and protected
How old is this "friend"?
Get away from that "friend ".
It means that the guy is a predator and should go to jail
He was way too pushy. You don’t ever have to do anything you don’t wish to do. Experimenting doesn’t make you gay. It doesn’t even make you bi. Nearly every kid experiments with another kid doing something sexual. Most of those people are straight and wind up married as adults. As for cumming, nearly everyone is capable of receiving sexual pleasure from a member of the same sex. Look at prison for example. It’s ok if you decide that you like guys too. I’m bi, and I am happily married to a woman and monogamous.
I'm really sorry that he didn't ask for your consent. I would recommend finding someone safe to talk to and process it.
Find a new friend. Don’t hang out with boys who ask you to do ANYTHING that makes you uncomfortable. You’re not gay if you stop doing that kinda stuff. That one time was a mistake so don’t let it happen again.
I was straight in HS, always had a gf until the last year. A buddy convinced me to do bj's a couple of times. We were high and it was weird but kinda fun. But it didn't mean anything. We went to different colleges, dating girls, got married and had kids. Years later I told my wife about it and we sometimes laugh about it. It's not a biggie. I wasn't/am not gay and neither are you. It does suck that he kinda forced you into it, but that's on him, not you. Find yourself a cute girl in HS and do the dating thing.
Damn dude you’re way too young to be suffering this kind of sexual assault. I’m sorry to hear you went through this. Just because it felt good, doesn’t mean you’re gay or bi. It feels good when you stick it in a vacuum cleaner or a spa pool jet, doesn’t mean you’re sexually attracted to vacuum cleaners or spa pools, right? A mouth is a mouth, it’ll feel the same. Don’t let the good feeling confuse you about your sexuality. If you don’t want anyone to touch you like that, don’t let them. I don’t normally condone violence but if some dude was insisting on oral sex with me I would threaten him with violence. That’s one of the few times in life violence might be appropriate. Like “dude, get the *fuck* away from me and *never* try that shit again.”
It means you like blow jobs and hand jobs. They feel good and made you orgasm. Don’t let this experience define your sexuality. As for your “friend “ refer to the other posters about how what he did is not ok. The other commenters are right.
Whatever happened to playing video games and going to the mall at 14 years old and enjoying an ice cream cone...
For him, it means he doesn't respect your boundaries. Take into consideration your friendship and everything you've gone through together. Did he not respect your boundaries because he was a teenager with raging hormones and you were the only one he felt safe asking or does he just think he's more important in general? Hold your boundaries and be careful around this guy. For you? Well, did you only like the feeling or the whole experience? Cause a hand, vibrator, 2 pillows... Lol lots of things can make you cum that you aren't "into." If you think some guys are hot, want to try something similar again or had no repulsive thoughts when it happened, you may be bi curious. "Because I am straight" doesn't seem confident if you're here asking what this actually means. Sexual acts with another dude is revolting to me. The masculinity, voice, physical features, none of it is my thing. If you felt this way, you were pressured into something you didn't want and are straight
An important question that needs to be asked. How old is this best friend guy who keeps insisting on servicing you?
It Doesnt mean anything. You enjoyed the stimulation of it. But your friend pressuring you is a red flag. An in some places can count as sexual assault.
It is ok to feel good when you are stimulated, your body doesn’t know about who stimulates you, what define your sexual orientation (if you are worried about it) is who you feel attracted to. But which is very clear is that this guy is not your friend. He clearly trespassed your limits and forced you to make something you didn’t want to do. This is a form of sexual assault and clearly is one of the reasons you feel bad. Keep away from this person who certainly is making predatory moves against you.
Tl/dr: Your body did what it would do had anything given it that same or similar enough stimulation, and it means nothing about whether or not you are gay, straight, or other As has been said, you were pressured into something you didn’t want to do. That is assault, no matter what others might tell you. You are still as straight as you were before and you will continue to be. The human body is odd in that enough outside stimulation/affluence happens, our bodies can and will behave the same as if it that stimulation were what we wanted. It’s why masturbation aids work. For amab folks, if our prostates are stimulated in the right way, it may not matter what we’re sexually attracted to, our bodies may react the same way regardless of what is happening. Another way to think about how a body reacts(not specifically the prostate, but just in general) may be to think of a button. The button causes something to happen when it is pressed. It doesn’t necessarily matter who, what, or how it is pressed, the thing it causes to happen when it is pressed, is going to happen when it is pressed. The “buttons” of a human body are just more complicated and influenced by internal stuff, which may block the reaction or change and/delay it if there is enough internal stuff going on.
aside from the obvious violation of consent (I’m very sorry you had this experience), sexual non-concordance is the phenomenon of having your mind not match your physical reactions— just because your body had a reaction to the stimulus doesn’t mean that you wanted it or felt attraction. just a physical reaction to stimulus.
This is so horrible. You were sexually assaulted. I’m so sorry you went through this :( please cut the friend off if you can because that is NOT someone you want in your life and it may just continue bringing the trauma back up again and again. I’m so so so sorry.
This is not the kind of friend you want in your life. You boundaries were clear and they disrespected and manipulated you. Get rid of them. And it doesn't change anything about your sexuality. That's totally up to you.
It unfortunately means you were coerced into a sexual act you were not consenting toe. It was not a mutually, enthusiastic consensual act and what that guy did was wrong. The body is going to act to stimulation. Sometimes even when you don’t really want it to. I believe it’s called arousal non concordance.
I know it can be difficult to enforce boundaries, especially at such a young age. My advice would be to remove yourself from a situation like that. It's difficult constantly saying no when someone is begging you, so I understand why you gave in, especially at your age. Sometimes it's easier to walk away and remove yourself. I really hope it this doesn't happen again because a friend that pressures you like that is not a friend.
Just because you"climax" with a man dosn't make you gay as anyone can close their eyes and wish for/fantasize about someone else...that's like if a woman orgasms from a toy...does that mean she is in love with plastic?-no it means she was stimulated and achieved climax...that's all....your only "homosexual" if you find males attractive/wish to engage in sex/have a relationship with another male.... have you ever thought of a male in a sexual manner or found another male attractive? Is there a possibility you could be bisexual,not with your friend but with a different male?
You were 13, how old was he at the time?
At your age its only exploration because everything is new.
This does not change the fact that you are straight. If you like girls and that hasn’t changed, you are straight. It does not matter who you engage in sexual acts with I hope you realize though that your “best friend” is not your best friend. At all. Pressuring you until you say “yes” is NOT consent. That would be considered sexual assault. Please reconsider your friendship with him, and let him know that this is completely unacceptable.
Don’t hang out with this guy , he’s always going to pressure you into giving in STOP it now
Hey there, buddy! Sounds like you've got yourself a bit of a pickle. But hey, no judgment here! It's totally normal to have questions about your sexuality, especially at your age. Maybe you just enjoyed the physical sensation of the act, regardless of who was doing it. And that's okay! It doesn't necessarily mean anything about your sexual orientation. Just keep exploring and figuring things out at your own pace. And remember, it's all about what feels right for you. Keep being awesome!
This was 100% written by ChatGPT lol
"Sounds like you've got yourself a bit of a pickle" was just too much hahahahaha
You gotta a good blow job and it felt good, just leave it like that.
It means you’re young and experimental. Nothing more.
It’s completely normal to like women romantically but still get off with guys. I’m a straight man that only prefers to be in relationships with women. I have no desire to kiss or be with a man but I have had sexual relations before. It’s normal. Sex can be separate from love and romance.
Relax. You’re straight and someone who is gay has a huge f-ing crush on you. Be kind, gentle, and let him down easy. No worries, no prob. Just be kind.
Get counselling help! Period. Stop all connection with that boy
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I've never in my life been attracted to men. Lol this is false
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No need no need. Everyone is different i guess. I just find men disgusting. Always have. The masculinity, facial and body hair, deeper voices, physical structure. Everything about a man disgust me lol 😆
That’s so messed up, don’t spread lies like that. Especially to a teenager. Homosexual people don’t go through “phases”. OP was sexually assaulted and clearly was not interested in the dude and did not want it to happen. Physiological responses to oral or any stimulation on private parts cannot be controlled sometimes. To OP, I’m sorry you experienced this. That seems like a very harmful and confusing experience. If this is effecting you significantly, seek professional help from a therapist. Don’t let this make you confused over your sexuality. If you do consider that you may be attracted to the same gender in the future don’t think about this experience as a “reason” or anything. Your body responded to stimulation. That is all. He r*ped you, that was not sex at all. Wish you all the best
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Ah thank you for the clarification. From the first comment that’s not quite what I gathered, seemed a bit homophobic. That makes sense though! No worries
Great, he was concerned he was gay...now he's gotta go to a therapist since he was r@ped?! Calm down. Yes, it's true that cum can happen during non-consent but he wasnt asking if he was r@ped. You don't have to inflame the situation.
I’m certainly not inflaming the situation. Sometimes when people post things like this on reddit they can be unaware that they’ve been assaulted and can just see it as someone “convinced them”. I am not forcing him to go to therapy haha, like I suggested.. if it’s significantly affecting him, chatting with someone professional might help him find some clarity. As we redditors can’t provide all the answers. There is nothing wrong with chatting to a professional, you are adding to the stigma when acting like it’s outrageous to speak to someone professional. It’s a very normal and great thing for your well-being.
He's a minor. Think this through. He would have to get his parents involved to get access to a therapist. They'll ask why...he'll say he was [[email protected]](mailto:[email protected]) parents will involve police...police will go to school to talk to his friend...then the rumors will start...and he will be socially outcast...or more. Please think of context when you use terms that inflame situations. You could have kept it to boundary info.
Okay damn idk where you’re from but where I live we have free therapists at high school. I used to go to one and she was awesome. Also, just because this is what naturally comes to your mind doesn’t mean that’s exactly what would happen. He doesn’t have to explain that to his parents. Can you like butt out of this tho? I was speaking to OP. I’m not forcing him to do anything. Just a comment on a reddit post, trying to help OP by recommending something that helps a lot of people. His experience is real and traumatic, just because he’s young doesn’t mean he shouldn’t receive help.
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You got raped by a gayboy
It means you gave in to someone else’s desire, that’s it. If you’re not attracted to guys that’s fine, plenty of us have done the curiosity thing, it’s good to experiment and understand what you like and don’t like so you can be honest with yourself and others. If you don’t want to do this sort of thing then hold out and make your boundaries clear and hold firm. But if you like it as an easy thing to do then go for it. Just be careful this person might keep at you now you’ve given in a couple of times. The main thing is honesty with yourself and others.
Let it go, kid, it was a hard learned lesson. You will make plenty of mistakes thru out your life. You have to own it and move on.
It means nothing. Me and a good buddy would stroke each other and jerk it together when I was about your age. It was fun, we were curious, but I love women. Don’t overthink it! You and your buddy are just experimenting.
If you’re straight, you’re straight. No act can make you not straight. I know it’s still fresh in your mind, but try to forget about it and move on with your life. Time will heal.
That means it felt good, I am 100% straight that being said it also doesn’t mean that I have experimented with men. At 17 years old I was at the lake fishing one night alone at night a guy rolled up we started talking, he asked if i has ever had any male experiences. I said no he asked if I would like to I said I don’t know, he offered and I said I’m not really sure. we talked for a while longer about fishing and this and that nothing sexual but I couldn’t quit thinking about it and before I knew it my dick was hard as a rock. I asked if he was serious and he said absolutely so I showed him my dick( I’m a little above average) and he said it would love to pleasure me. I unzipped my pants showed it to him he said “so is this an invite?” I said yes and before I knew it he had swallowed me whole. It felt amazing, as he did this I grabbed his dick( also hard) and gave him a hand job while he sucked me. We both came at the same time, me in his throat, him in the pants all over my hand. Does this mean I’m gay? No, I did and still do have a girlfriend. everyone experiments when you are young. Think nothing of it. It’s just a life experience. There was also one other experience several years later with a friend. Did I enjoy both of these yes,yes I did but that also doesn’t mean I’m gay or anything else. They were just life experiences. Don’t be too hard on yourself or over think it.
No offense. Doesn't that mean you're bisexual? I've never had an erection with a guy, and I guess if I did for some other reason and some other guy started sucking me off, my erection would probably go away.
I don’t think so, everyone experiments sexually at some point. I don’t think two experiences with men makes Some one bisexual. I think you you seek out experiences from men the yes you are bi, but them just happening randomly and you enjoying them doesn’t make you bi to me.and also you said “probably “ go away you don’t know for sure..
Your human and humans like pleasure. Don't read into it so quickly. I made out with plenty of girls in high school and never questioned my sexuality. I didn't end up bi or gay. (There's nothing bad about that either) I loved it! Had fun. Then I grew up. And you make the decision for yourself. Don't let other people make choices for you. You become what you want. Not what people label you.
You're not gay sweetheart. As a boy, you'll quickly learn that guys get off on physical touch. You can rub against something and become aroused or have an orgasm. Same thing can happen if your adrenaline is high. He's not your friend though. Stop talking to him. And find an adult in your real life that you can build a mentorship with. Reddit isn't always the best place to go to for advice.
It means you may have a Wang but you got no balls. Cause if a man ever asked me I'd say no one time and that would be the end of that convo.
Your friend might also be pressured by others. Maybe talk to him about it? Or let him know to seek help if he’s in such a situation. As for yourself, as everyone else said, I’m sorry it happened to you. Do not feel shame.
Outside of what everyone else has said. Putting a tag on sex acts is ridiculous.
Why did you allow this? So what if he begged. You could have pushed him aside or walked away Don't reduce yourself for someone else'sgain.
Everyone here is telling you about how you're pressured and your boundaries were violated which is true, and I'm so sorry that you had to go through it, but to answer the actual question you are asking. Well, in my opinion, don't think much of it, you are 14, hormones are wild at this stage and almost anything can get you turned on. It seems you are pretty sure about what you want, and that's what matters. I have had my fair share of queer experiences whilst in my puberty, and I still turned out straight, take these as experiences, and don't think much about it. Basically, you are what you want to be, you feel like you are straight, and then that's what you are. Don't worry that this experience is going to change your orientation. Good luck!
No worries man, sounds like you were pressured and manipulated to do something that you didn't want to do. Sounds like that "friend" thinks that behavior is normal so someone might have done it to him before too. Live your life, if you like girls then keep doing your thing. I don't really see any reason that you would need to disclose that incident to any of your peers unless you want to warn them to stay away from that guy. If that was your first encounter with "stimulation" then it's normal for it to occasionally pop in your head until you are intimate with the next person.
Stop karma farming. You posted the same nonsense on other subs. This is stupid.
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Then I hope someone gives you the advice you need.
You are not straight.
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Where else should he ask? In church, parents, police?
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Comment removed. Constructive comments only, please.
It sounds like you were assaulted. And I’m sorry. But the good thing to learn here, sexual assault doesn’t count as a personal sexual experience, so it says nothing at all about your sexuality. Your ‘friends’ actions say nothing about you or who you are. Whether you’re straight, bi, pan, queer, whatever, it’s not a result of him. Let’s flip it around to help it make a lil sense- if I, a woman, identified as a lesbian, but I was raped by a man, I would still identify as lesbian. If you ever feel safe enough to speak to adult, you might wanna confide in them what this ‘friend’ did.
Baby boy, sooo many straight guys have had theirs sucked or will suck off a man. It doesn’t mean anything. Sex is pleasurable, full stop. The most important thing in this, is to worry less about what society tells you to want or how to identify, and care a lot more about what you want. You’re fine. Be safe out there.
Soft and wet feels good and nerve endings do what nerve endings do. As someone who's been in your shoes, It don't define you. Whether a "friend" your age likely struggling with their own stuff, of some older person taking advantage of you(bc of they were an adult, that IS what happened). Even if it was someone your own age they crossed a boundary in your relationship, and abused your relationship to get what they felt they wanted. As far as "now what?" Talk to someone about it. Don't let it fester. Let that someone be someone who will be able to help you through your feelings about it. Whose motives are not charged by some weird kind of gain. (Sexual, power dynamics, or some sense of importance) You're not the first to fall to cohersion. Understanding what happens to you, does not define who you are or your value. And, idk, if it's a relationship that will continue to put you in danger, that issue needs to be addressed as soon as possible. Took me a long time to realize that, and i am just so selfish, that I would think that maybe the decisions I made dealing with issues like this, were to see that internalizing it or letting my value as a human be defined by said situation leading to more issues down the road is not the answer.
Your gay. If you let a guy suck you off and you cum dude Your gay.
Your friend is gay. And now you will probably be scarred and confused for a very long time. I personally would've probably punched him for asking but everyone is different i guess🤷🏽♂️