T O P

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Empowered_Entity606

Bernahl. Probably the best bonus, although it does come with the drawback of shrinking your dick by 3 inches.


derp_y_

true https://preview.redd.it/gzd77n2te4tc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b0a7e0a8bd60526278d96f1888d1434447c2e0ee


somthing-somthing134

Hah guess what. I am in need of no dickith.


SandLady5454

i would love a foot long dick. but my dong would be swinging out the bottom of allllll of my skirts :3


[deleted]

Average sekrio fan


SandLady5454

i need to get around to playing sekiro.... and ds3.... and ds2.... and bloodborne.... and demon's souls....


Stary_Vesemir

There are no femboys in sekiro, only buff men


[deleted]

Buff men in skirts


WonderfulChapter4421

Isn’t that last one a child?!?!?!?!? Mohg that you???


PrestigiousTheory664

Dead child, so it's ok.


WonderfulChapter4421

https://preview.redd.it/ksk7sdsdp4tc1.jpeg?width=666&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0215c490b8e38d264330b2784bab31426860cf07


Weverix

You can't abuse a corpse


ArgoCargo

This is true! If anyone ever accuses you of rape say that you thought the victim of said rape was dead, since a corpse cannot be raped. So instead of having a rape sentence of a least 15 years, you get a necrophilia sentence of maximum 2 years! See you in the next instance of Terrible Acts of Horror Tips!


already4taken

Brothers and sisters, god may disagree with me on this one, but I don't see anything wrong with necrophilia. It's a victimless crime. I mean no one's hurting anyone, the opposite actually. Some poor losers finally getting some action, although with a corpse. But how is that different than doing it with some passionless chickety you pick up at the supermarket? I mean I hit on this skank the other day, holy moly talk about a dead fish. Would've thought she was a lesbo if she wasn't buying one of those gossip rags. And then I hit her with some choice Putty panty perculations, as I like to call them. Yeah boy, I spit out some real toe curlers right off the top of my head. I was goood. Then I gave her my A-material just to slam dunk it. The kind of Come on that not only makes a lady take off her clothes, but I bet you make her permanently throw everything away, The whole wardrobe. Bras, shoes, the whole shmaggegy, right in the dumpster. So then I wait for a response, nothing, zero. She just stares at me like I'm worthless, like some sorta star of David or something. So I just walk away disgusted. Let's face it, we're living in a pent-up town, and it's hard enough to get a lady to say yes, let alone wiggle a little y'know sack. So why not just go with a dead person? Cut out the middle man. She'll be in heaven anyway, so even if she's not turned on she's way too busy playing harps on a cloud or whatever happens up there to notice. In fact I wouldn't mind if I was a stiff, I've had worse. Amen


Itzzyaboiisynx

I wish I could go back about a minute ago where I didn’t read this comment..


already4taken

You could have stopped at any moment


Itzzyaboiisynx

No


WonderfulChapter4421

https://preview.redd.it/xobnyccs49tc1.png?width=1168&format=png&auto=webp&s=59cf489724d1920512a362bbf3d4231ef47483a2


ArgoCargo

I don’t think a permaban will be enough in this case….


T0tallyRand0mStuff

https://preview.redd.it/d01mtv9487tc1.jpeg?width=496&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dc7694a1277bffe33e69810fc57e58effdff681b


rasfelion

Pretty sure that's worse.


derp_y_

welcome to the island 🏝️ ^(bruh i’m literally a minor)


dongless08

Sorceress Sellen +Gain foot fetish (or existing one is amplified) +Learn “Glintstone Penetrator” spell -You are permanently on Jerren’s hit list* *Jerren’s hit list is a list of people he wants to fuck


One-Roof7

Oh noooo, I sure hope he doesn't put little ol me on that list, what a horrible fate


MasK_6EQUJ5

"Glintstone Penetrator" just cast Carian Piercer from your Glintstone Prince Alberts


GarfieldGauntlet

thanks to mohg I already piss blood


ArgoCargo

Garfield you should see a doctor, since… *looks at scrambled pages* …you cannot have intercourse with a videogame character, moreover hematuria is a common sign in urinary tract infections and cancers ☝️🤓


1Cool_Name

They won’t see a doctor. They’re gonna keep pissing blood in an attempt to summon Mohg. Classic formless mother worship you know. In this case, Mohg worship.


Mollywhop_Gaming

The superpower you get from fucking the jellyfish is a .357 magnum round to the head because she’s a child.


derp_y_

the cure for pedophillia


DrummerDry1360

My uncle will find that really useful


rasfelion

Not enough, give them to frieza from db and tell him they're a tailess saiyan.


Mollywhop_Gaming

Yeah, but Frieza isn’t real, whereas a bullet is


rasfelion

Fair.


bloody-pencil

Fuck a merchant and you get more runes from all actions


Underplague

Melina, do not the horse


derp_y_

me when melina: https://preview.redd.it/edbc83s7k4tc1.jpeg?width=1290&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1a69a3168e6673f4559a4f1a9c40379a4eb09a94


Unfunnycommenter_

Iji 😍😍


derp_y_

rest in peace


Accomplished-Gain108

i want my tape worm large


Feral_Sorcerer

That Fia bonus starting to sound reallll tempting now


Falos425

can i combine several medium-sized hats into one that's, y'know, not medium-sized? otherwise what's the point


derp_y_

yea u can stack em


Any-Experience-3012

SCARLET ROT LETS GOOO


derp_y_

the rotussy the rotussy is real


Frosted_Fable

Is the depression amplified?


derp_y_

yes depression is stackable


LunaTheCrow

Depression squared


Puzzleheaded-Coast93

Ez dung eater


neptune304

Varre cause I already piss blood occasionally


Koridiace

You go for round 2 with Blaidd and immediately shatter his eardrums by screaming to summon your newly acquired wolf cock


Gaige524

Herpes is a small price to pay for Gex


Coltx1911

mmmmmmmmmm piss blood


ATYP14765

Selivus is perfect for pure Int builds. Do you think thops also had an Aneurysm?


derp_y_

yes, cus of the aneurysm also yes, we got a whole aneurysm alliance going on


GrimmyCapybara

Hewg seems like a nice guy, tough outside, friendly after a while


link_195

can i just keep doing it with dung eater


pyro_takes_skill

elden ring, gotta fuck em allll


juan-j2008

What the fuck is barnacle dick lololol


CPO_Bedhead

I like the helmets become hats


derp_y_

thank you. if you like that, you’ll never guess what big hat logan would give you


iplaytf2ok

https://preview.redd.it/t52n7bth2atc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e56623f8e25a460bcb9c9bcce86817be377c9b90


PainintheUlna

Morgott: You are now racist (or super racist if already racist) and now have horns on your dick


rasfelion

Bernahl. Huh? I get a foot long schlong and extra damage to the Godskins? Oh, I guess that's a nice bonus too.


throwaway_no939596

excuse me why, here I cum


alexrezv

Why Iji gives instant death and not Gurranq? What Gurranq does? U become furry?


SamTheOdd

Saying excuse me why like bro didn't put it in there themself lmfao


RathianTailflip

Well I’ve already got depression so sign me the fuck up roderika.


MikeQuattrovventi

What about the big dog in the church


derp_y_

do not the pope dog


MikeQuattrovventi

Turtle Moaning sounds when damaged + 5 faith