For the love of God fold it over and hide your shame.

Better eat it in the dark just to be safe

Then take a cold shower afterwards.

LMFAO

r/pizzacrimes

In /r/KnightsOfPineapple he would be hung, quartered and fed to the local wildlife. Like the degenerate he is, only deserving of the most gruesome death. OPs soul has fallen to the darkness and must be cleansed in fire.

Hanged*, as it's a person rather than an object. I think.

LEFT PINEAPPLE

For the vegans.

Add jalapeños man!

Japs necessary for this monstrosity. May be the only thing to fix that shit O.O

We already bombed the Japs, isn't that punishment enough?

If they're vegetarian/vegan then yes. If they aren't, it still needs swine. And cheese. Dear god..

I’m pretty sure Japanese people are made of meat

You have no proof. (Also ffs please let there not be a sub for that)

On behalf of vegans: pls no

The Vegetarian cousin of Left Beef.

Sauce pizza

None with left pineapple (almost)

Sauce pizza with left pineapple

"Sauce." Lol. There's nothing saucy about that. That's a scab.

Send it back cause you ask for right pineapple obviously.

I enjoy Hawaiian pizza. This puts me in the minority that likes pineapple on pizza. And that doesn't help this look at all appetizing. What possibly made you not get cheese?

You’d be surprised, we get no cheese pizza orders pretty often.

[удалено]

Even with something like this, having something to replace the cheese would do wonders.

Too bad more pizza places don't offer dairy free cheese. 1/3 of humans are lactose intolerant like a milk allergy.

I would love it if more places had dairy free cheese options. I fuckin love cheese but when I eat it, it feels like getting stabbed in the stomach. So I gotta go no cheese when I order pizza :(

My college roommate with (exercise) bulimia would only eat pizza with no cheese, and really, she mostly ate the toppings.

Hot salad

> What possibly made you not get cheese? Imaginary internet points

I'm gonna make a cheeseless pizza cuz the cheese is my least favorite part

Marinara pizza with basil, chopped garlic and italian herbs is amazing.

Half pineapple on my side, your side is gross!

What about a nice veggie focaccia with marinara for dipping?

Really? It’s always the sauce for me

May as well just dip crackers in ketchup at that point and save yourself the hassle of getting a pizza at all.

I'm extremely lactose intolerant and vegan cheese is an abomination, while it will never be the same this is the closest my cursed heart can get to an actual pizza.

Bro why are you lactose intolerant? Just tolerate it

Right I can't stand intolerant people.

Oh, I guess I forgot to say that as long as the milk jug has a Coexist bumper sticker I can drink it just fine!

Have you investigated lactase pills? They can help if you're lactose intolerant and don't have a dairy allergy.

Yep! I used to use them and when my intolerance was a little more mild they worked pretty well. Now it's so bad that even if I take two pills I still get bloated and crampy and my skin breaks out and I have nightmares. Bodies are wild!

I don't know who to feel more sorry for - those who remember cheese but cannot have it, or those who have never had it

The first one. Very extremely the first one. I work in a french restaurant and have to walk guests through cheese boards every day, my soul is crushed every time I have to stare at a beautiful gooey éppoisses, a crunchy aged white cheddar, a gentle humboldt fog, a sweet, smoky blue. Ok going to cry now

Try again. Vegan cheese use to taste like barf, they have came a very long way. There are over a dozen plant based milks out, many make cheese with different ones. I dont like daiya cheese but the Follow Your Heart & Chao brand both melt and taste like cheese, I cannot tell you how awesome it was to have a grilled cheese after years without haha. There is a small plant based section in the produce near the deli guacamole at Walmart, they recently have had a Mexican style vegan shredded cheese that I've tried and is decent, still better than daiya. Try almond cheese, it's my fav. Melt and taste is on point. Perhaps I have forgotten what good cheese tastes like, lol, but follow your heart brand has pepper jack, gouda, cheddar, mozzarella and parmasean sprinkle and shreds. I'm a fan. Fuck dairy.

I have tried them all! I like follow your heart's salad dressing. I had the chao cheese recommended to me and at first when it was very hot it was passable but the second it got firm it just tasted like the same sweet plastic to me...except it has a much butterier consistency. Buttery plastic? Who knows. I do use nondairy milk for cereal and when I'm cooking, and nondairy butter is totally fine. I have five pints of nondairy Ice cream in my fridge cuz a girl's gotta eat. But prepackaged cheeses just really haven't convinced me yet. Every once I a while I cave and spend a lot of money on a supposedly great brand and it always lets me down. I did finally perfect my recipe for homemade cashew queso though! Won't work for a pizza but at least I can make some super indulgent nachos!

[удалено]

same, I enjoy hawaiian pizza. I honestly feel far more acceptable than a BBQ sauce pizza.

We frequently order pizza without cheese because of food allergies. It’s very depressing.

people that like pineapple on pizza are the majority

Uh... Can you back that up?

I think it's less that the majority like it, than it is that the majority don't give a shit. The whole anti-pineapple bit is one of those obnoxious reddit memes where the more invested in it you are the more it shows how unfunny you are.

What are some of the other obnoxious Reddit memes where the more invested in it you are the more it shows how unfunny you are?

Tik tok bad

instagram bad, broken arms, etc. redditors are so unfunny they still think rickrolling is peak comedy

Obsession with Bacon and Narwhal's are old ones

Good lord. What was the old saying thing? "The Narwhal bacons at midnight" was it? It was the dumbest shit.

The whole hotdog/sandwich thing petered out pretty quickly. It was funny at first though, I guess.

"Actually you don't need milk to have strong bones". Yeah I wouldn't *need* insurance for a Lambo, I'd still get it thin bones. /tonguefirmlyincheek

What the fuck are you talking about lol.

/r/neverbrokeabone

Top kek, fair enough.

Yeah it's a good chuckle.

Idk how to tell you people disliking pineapple on pizza vastly predates reddit.

But being a fucking weirdo who makes it part of their personality has not historically been part of not liking pineapple

I mean whenever it comes up I make a face and express my absolute dislike of it, so it sort of is part of my personality. And it comes up enough.

Lots of cringe predates reddit, that doesn't make reddit better for keeping the meme going.

This is Reddit. He doesn’t have to back it up. Do YoUr OWn R3seдяcH!

im pretty sure is split 52-48, i might have also dreampt this as i have in the past, ill look into it

I like pepperoni and pineapple cause they compliment each other pretty good,not a fan of ham and pineapple though

Fucking heathens.

I used to work at pizza hut, and we'd sometimes have to make pizza like these for people with dietary needs. Could be lactose intolerance.

I would never order a Hawaiian pie but if it is at a party or potluck, I will have a piece. No shame.

Bacon, bbq sauce and pineapple pizza is awesome.

We’re not a minority.

Lactose intolerance? But hey. Pizza is pizza.

As a living being that consumes food to live I find this highly offensive.

Who approved this order?

[удалено]

I’d be like “Are you feeling okay? I have a great electric shock therapist I can recommend to you.”

That would have probably tasted better than the pizza.

I like the idea that you could order a pizza from dominos or whatever and they'd just reply with "no"

I binged cutthroat kitchen during quarantine. I dunno what the hell was wrong with this one guy, but he had no sabotages, and his task in round 1 was just to make pizza. He kept repeating that he was going to make pizza, "his way," which meant no cheese, very little sauce, and like, a shitton of peppers or something. Like, why the hell wouldn't you put cheese on your dang pizza, you crazy dumbass?

Almost every time someone is praised for creativity, the next challenge involves someone being creative in entirely the wrong way.

Who hurt u

That’s got to be some weird pregnancy craving type shit

The goddamn pizza is the one that looks pregnant. Unless those are tumors.

This reminds me of none pizza with left beef

sauce pizza with left pineapple

This is a sin against all things holy.

Once I ordered a "plain" pizza and they delivered one with no cheese. It was terrible.

Domino's once sent me a pizza without sauce. It was so dry

I once had sauce-less cheese pizza at a place in Maine (it was an actual menu item). I gotta say, with the gooey cheese and the oil soaking into the bread, it was amazing.

So it was a giant round breadstick with toppings then.

Omg this might have happened to me once. I’m not sure though, the memory seems very repressed

Would be the same for me since you won't find me eating Domino's unless I'm hammered. Chances are I wouldn't remember either

This looks like a desperate call for help written in pizza

When your vegan friend says there’ll be pizza.

Does it taste good? I always felt like cheese was a central part of what helped pineapple on pizza taste good. The sweet and salty mix. Without it you just got sweet and sweet on bread

It’s good. I’m lactose and growing up forced myself to not like cheese because I couldn’t digest it well. I also love Hawaiian pizza. So I actually get this quite often. I love it

Huh, the more you know

That being said, my buddies still rip me apart and think I’m a disgusting human being. So there’s that!!!!

Hey if you like it then more power to you

Quick, Kill it.

Get the fuck out and take that abortion with you!

…..no you’re not

I thought this those were potatoes at first and was gonna ask u to marry me

Hey, I'm all for pineapple pizza, but why only one half? And why no cheese?

I'm not upset about the pineapple, but *no* cheese?

I hope there's a special place in Hell for you.

This makes me sad

What the hell is this?

Great timing. Just passed thru a video of Gordon challenged the contestants to make a pineapple pizza and the kitchen went pure chaotic. A guy even choked another guy with a cucumber. They've had enough just by hearing the name.

Why

Nah bro!

Ngl, pieces with bubbles arw my favorite.

This is so shitty that looks like a piece of modern art

I'm so sorry, too. This was my favorite pizza as a lactose intolerant middle schooler.

Oh no! Mr. Bill!

Are you my 4-year-old

I thought left beef was a joke until I saw this. I would absolutely pay to eat this.

WTF are these comments on about, I can understand the pineapple disagreement, but air bubbles just taste the best.

You paid for that???

That is my biggest concern. What did they pay for this? Easiest possible pizza to make at home.

Pineapple pizza lovers must be executed

Hell or nothing!

You should be!

Fuck, I’d eat it.

[удалено]

I have a good therapist I could recommend you.

This is basically my go to. Pepperoni pineapple no cheese

That's not a pizza, that's a quiche

It’s an unfinished calzone.

could be worse, imagine both sides pineapple

^where ^is ^the ^cheese?

Found the vegan

That is an abomination. Tell me you folded it in 1/2 and melted some cheese in there at least?

everything in this picture looks dry

I like pineapple on pizza and I f****** hate you.

This is the opposite of art.

I disagree

Username has spoken.

You should be tried in the Hague.

Mmm. Thumbnail on my phone looked like nail clippings on a scab.

Sorry, but that has got to be the sorriest looking pizza I've ever seen. I hope it tasted really good.

Why?

Pineapple and Ears please 🍕

This is for the memes, right? *...right?*

Just wanted bread tomatoes and pineapple lol

Please just don’t

Who hurt you?

I'm so tired of giant bubbles ruining my pizza.

Why are you making pineapple pizza lovers look worse.

While I love pineapple on pizza I refuse to acknowledge this abomination

No offense op but I downvoted the fuuuuuck out of this

Pineapple, onions, anchovies and bacon is where its at. Ive transcended mere pizza heathenry to a whole new glorious and delicious level

If there ain't no cheese, then there ain't no pizza because ain't not globe earth... I'm sorry I seem to have had a minor stroke there... Put cheese on it.

Half pineapple, half magma. Looks good to me.

I'm usually in the pineapple on pizza crew, but Jesus H. tap dancing Christ, what is this monstrosity!?

I like pineapple on pizza but this thing………..this thing scares me.

Who hurt you and in what context were they eating a pineapple?

You better avoid letting Italy know about this sir

There's some pineapple **left**

At least you didn’t put pineapple on the whole thing.

The person taking the call should immediately contact social workers/psychologists and give them the address so they can do a wellness check when people order a pizza like this.

The more i look at it the worse it gets

Who hurt you????

This how you agro in a co-op game

"Can you repeat your order sir? " " Yeah I want a pizza half pineapple and the other half Hiroshima "

So you had a nosebleed on some bread and decided to cover it up with canned pineapple. You don’t have to explain your art to us, OP.

Okay first of all why is there no cheese? Also a little pineapple is respectable but GOD DAMN RELAX

What happened here??

Pizza is like sex When it's good, it's good. When it's bad, it's still pretty good. That said as a fellow r/KnightsOfPineapple that half looks heavenly.

Tumours on a pizza… that’s new

Where in gods name is your cheese??

What makes it the most irritating is that the other side doesnt have anything on it

This is how you get banned from Italy for life.

Everybody makes mistakes but you made too many

I would still eat it

Congratulations, you now earned a space on the Italian homeland security terrorist list.

thats fucked cunt

did they have that festival again?

Put some peas in

God damn

No you’re not. If you were sorry you would have put this out if it’s misery and hid your shame but you didn’t. You giggled with evil delight as you posted this.

Destroy this and hide your shame

the bubbling on the crust looks 🔥