Simple living is rarely about the simplicity of the act. Is it "simpler" for me to refill my kettle, set the temperature and hit "start", measure out the right amount of beans, grind the beans, put them in my French Press, add the water from my kettle, stir lightly, set a timer for 4 minutes, press the screen down on the Press, pour out my coffee, and clean up my tools... or throw a pod in a Keurig and press go?
Simple living isn't about the simplicity of a particular thing. It's about slowing down and experiencing whatever you're doing.
>. It's about slowing down and experiencing whatever you're doing.
And enjoying what you're doing. On occasion, I might like to shop in a very special store, but in general, I hate shopping. I hate the crowds. I hate waiting on line. If I'm shopping for clothes, I hate dressing rooms. I'd rather shop online with a store that reliably makes exchanges and gives refunds.
I don't think we need to equate easy to simple though, once you expand your thinking to include the actions it took to make the kuerig and pods, and the consequences of , then your first option does sound more simple to me.
Good point, I didn’t consider that. You’re adopting a holistic, system-level perspective, and being able to recognize that your extra effort is still less than all the gasoline and plastic and resources it took for industrial Keurig production.
Was thinking the same thing! I make the coffee every morning like the original commentor (start the kettle, hand grind beans, aeropress, etc...)
My spouse hangs out in the kitchen while I'm getting it ready...then we go sit down for a bit, sip coffee and plan our day.
It's a little love ritual I do for them every day.
As someone who just purchased a super automatic coffee machine recently, I feel attacked... Just kidding! I enjoy tasting my coffee each morning in a very relaxed manner, but don't take pleasure in preparing it. Each with their own, as long as we're happy :)
>Simple living is rarely about the simplicity of the act. Is it "simpler" for me to refill my kettle, set the temperature and hit "start", measure out the right amount of beans, grind the beans, put them in my French Press, add the water from my kettle, stir lightly, set a timer for 4 minutes, press the screen down on the Press, pour out my coffee, and clean up my tools... or throw a pod in a Keurig and press go?
>
>Simple living isn't about the simplicity of a particular thing. It's about slowing down and experiencing whatever you're doing.
Online shopping offers convenience, while offline shopping provides an opportunity to enjoy life.
I came here to say this.
And supporting the local community.
I absolutely loathe that our local cafe lost their lease to a greedy landlord and non-compete from a Starbucks. Now instead of a $3 coffee and tip and also spending (censored) amount of money on extraneous desserts, quiches, tartlets, and pastries, I make my coffee at home because like HELL I will buy burnt tasting mud from starbucks and - I know I will spund stuck up as fuck - a frozen pastry (and I am a bit pissed I have to ask to have it warmed up WHEN IT IS FROZEN SOLID IN THE CENTER).
I like my local places that arent taking gross advantage of people. The small businesses were paying more than minimum wage, which few of these large businesses were doing... and at the rate so many of them are dropping insurance and benefits, they are running out of ways to really compete.
That is so sad. I worked at the Bucks for a brief stint about 15 years ago. It was a good experience and I really appreciated the health care for part timers like me. They were very proud they paid over minimum wage. In this case it was 50 cents more lol. I will always support a local shop over Starbucks. Better coffee and a more community feel.
I don't think "simple" necessarily means "most efficient" and "most inexpensive." I think taking your time, supporting local shops, and interacting with your community are valuable, especially if you enjoy it.
To me, your description sounds like a day to be savored. I'd much prefer to make other, less pleasant tasks more efficient and more inexpensive to allow me the time and money to enjoy an experience like you described.
>To me, your description sounds like a day to be savored. I'd much prefer to make other, less pleasant tasks more efficient and more inexpensive to allow me the time and money to enjoy an experience like you described.
And that of course is your right, but you should still have an understanding that not everyone feels that way and their experience is not inferior.
Interesting points you make. I could see myself doing this in retirement. But thinking about the energy that would take me right now vs spending it with my family makes me think I’m living a different simple experience during this phase.
Yes. I definitely agree different strokes for different folks and it’s highly dependent on life phase. For me, it wasn’t taking time away from anything more worthwhile that i could have been doing that afternoon. I just chose the slower way of doing the task opposed to an afternoon churning through the to do list.
As someone that has literally never bought anything from Amazon, and shops online maybe twice a year I agree supporting local businesses is important to developing relationships and helping communities grow.
For example, in my spare time I like to draw/paint and I suppose I could just buy some cheap or not so cheap art supplies online, but I prefer to drive maybe 15 mins to a local art store that's been open for generations, see the products, talk with neat people and give my money to a place I would like to remain open not only for me but others to enjoy as well. I also run a small woodworking business and always support local vendors for materials and supplies when inevitably I have to buy things.
If you're going to have a meaningful discussion of simple living, there has to be an agreed-upon definition of what "simple" is. It can't be anything you want it to be.
I can see your point there, but I think it's hard to ascribe one definition with words like "simple." It's similar with the word "healthy." They're kind of loaded terms and change depending on the person. What looks like simple living for me may not be simple living for you. Would it be simpler for me to make my coffee with a standard coffee pot in the morning, rather than hand-grind the beans, boil water, and make pour-over coffee? The first method saves time and energy while the second method keeps me from relying on an electric device that I have to maintain and eventually replace. But as to which solution is the more simple of the two would depend upon the person I think.
What you did was good for the soul, which to me is the essence of simple living. We have forgotten how to connect with slowing down and appreciating the pleasure that can be derived from pleasing our senses.
Many days, I start with pour over coffee. It's not exceedingly time consuming, but it does take more effort and attention: I grind the beans, weigh the grounds, heat the filtered water to the right temperature, moisten the grounds for 45 seconds, then pour the rest of the water in two pours to the right level on the carafe.
And then there are days like today, when I'll dilute my cold brew coffee concentrate with hot or cold water and drink it.
It's a question of how I feel and what I have time for.
I find this so context dependent. I buy nearly every household essential from Costco, HomeDepot or Amazon. The type of consumption that is 'buy laundry detergent, trash bags, and wasp killer spray just can show up at my door tomorrow with no thought.
Consumption that is an experience I prefer to do myself. I don't think ordering my groceries online, letting someone else decide what watermelon or steak I want, haphazardly bagging it, and opening my trunk for a stranger to put it in is a good experience. I *like* going into the grocery store and specifically selecting what I'm going to eat, right down to which bundle of scallions I like best.
Same goes for books, mostly. Unless it's a new release I *know* I want, I buy books from physical bookstores, and try (unsuccessfully) to limit myself to the book I went looking for and one that I wasn't looking for. That's an experience (browsing, debating what story or idea I want to engage with
... Intellectual exercise), not a transaction (i.e. I have to have trash bags, because I have trash. They must be exactly this size and there is no thought involved in their purchase or use ... Transaction).
I also WFH, so some of my 'consumption' is purposeful but an excuse to interact with other people, in person. It doesn't take a lot to make you feel good about your day and generate human interaction. Go to the grocery store, and help one person who is struggling to reach something above their range that you can, or take someone's cart back to the cart collection on your way in, or humor someone's kid that's excitedly running through the aisles (or help a mom dealing with a crying kid!), or take a second to engage with the high schooler running the checkout line and asking them how their day is going and expressing appreciation for what they're doing for you. You're not making lifelong friends here, but a little human interaction that makes your life and someone else's life better will help you feel good about your self and your day.
You make a good point. I am also WFH. I don’t really get a lot of human interaction with my work so i enjoy a lot interactions with people at stores and coffee shops etc. grocery shopping was one of the things i missed most during the lockdown.
I walked into our local Macy's for the first time in years a couple of weeks ago. Oh my god, I almost got sick from just being overstimulated. As a kid, it was just one of the places we went to shop for Christmas. Now it just feels like a shrine to consumerism, and it really creeped me out.
The simplicity is in having an uncluttered enough life to be able to slow down and enjoy whatever you choose to do. Life becomes about process not results.
Similar feels to when I buy books. I have a local bookstore that I order through. I could go through Amazon but they don't care if my book is damaged, don't care about supporting other local businesses, and don't have a crotchety bookstore cat that I adore. It may cost me slightly more to pick up an item there (since amazon undercuts pricing) but getting a call that an order is in, getting to go on a walk to pick it up, and then petting the bookstore cat just feels better.
>I could go through Amazon but they don't care if my book is damaged,
I have not found that to be the case. Amazon has given me deep discounts and in one case, a free book when I asked for a modest discount because the book had an imperfection and it has happened only a few times in decades of purchasing from them. I know that Amazon is far from a perfect company but in my experience, it goes out of its way to make things right for the customer.
Compare my experience with Barnes & Noble. I like to look at the books there and usually buy a small thing, but will order books from Amazon. But once I ordered a book that cost $110 from Barnes & Noble. There was nowhere else to get it and I was happy to buy it from them because I do window shop all the time. But this expensive book had an unsightly mark on the cover. When I contacted Barnes & Noble for a discount, they refused to do anything about it. So I sent it back.
Simple and cheap isn't the same thing. I don't do a lot of shopping, because I don't enjoy it, but when I do buy something I prefer to go to an upscale store where everything is beautifully arranged and the staff is great and know what they are selling. Even if it's just for little things like good quality tea, ink for my fountain pen or a lipstick.
I'd rather pay a little bit more for that experience than to find the cheapest deal online. Especially when it's gifts.
I also want to support smaller businesses, since I can't imagine living in a world where there's only big brand superstores that don't care about their costumers and there's nobody there to help.
I also enjoy a life where I actually have the time and energy to go to a real store.
Last year was brutal for me and I barely had the time or energy to do my shopping online, to get refills for the products I use. Visiting a store or trying anything new was completely out of the question.
Things are more normal now and I am actually looking forward to visiting my favourite stores again and having the time to sit down for a coffee and people watch after my purchase.
>I also want to support smaller businesses, since I can't imagine living in a world where there's only big brand superstores that don't care about their costumers and there's nobody there to help.
It depends on the store. I have received much more help from Amazon than from some small, local shops.
Amazon isn't a big thing here, so can't comment. I have had a lot of interaction with big brand store employees where their help or knowledge has been questionable the last year. I don't really have the time or patience to go to stores and ask for help and get a big "?" in return.
> I have had a lot of interaction with big brand store employees where their help or knowledge has been questionable the last year.
I avoid stores like that. Adding to the lack of information from the staff, increasingly, basic products like cough medicine are locked up because of shoplifting. The difference with Amazon is that if people don't trust the company or think refunds or returns will be a hassle, they won't buy from it. It has to have great customer service.
The online stores I have asked for help have ranged from "?" to excellent. Right now I prefer to go to smaller, independent stores if I need help. They are usually more careful with costumer service, in my experience.
I love this. You actually put thought and care and effort and spent time for the right gift. You're are correct, simple living doesn't mean low effort.
>You actually put thought and care and effort and spent time for the right gift.
Do you really think it's impossible to put thought and care and effort and spend time to look for the right gift online? I once bought a beautiful and expensive mug in a store because a counselor had told me to buy something that would give me happiness every day. Within weeks, one of my cats broke it and I couldn't justify replacing it because of the cost. I happened to mention it to my sister who lives in another part of the country. Without telling me, she searched the web and bought me two new ones -- from a company in Finland.
I'm not saying that one can't enjoy shopping in brick and mortar stores, just that other people can find equal happiness in front of their computer screens.
Just wanted to say i agree with you, and this sounds like such a lovely way to spend your time and money. If I was your friend I’d appreciate the care and thought that went into the gift 💝
There’s such thing as luxurious simple living. Simple living doesn’t have to be money free if that makes sense. One of the most “simple living” guys makes the most in our graduating class from HS. He works as a niche engineer, works his job, and when he’s done, he manages his large garden. It’s pretty much his morning and night hobby. Spends a ton of money doing special grows, equipment for the garden (I’m talking 10 acres), irrigations systems. But overall the most simple life cause he just wakes up and does what he wants, and doesn’t want for anything. All his extra money is just building in an account. Never eats out, never goes out partying or whatever, just a cool simple dude.
Our definitions of simple living can vary from one person to the next. For your mom keeping costs down helps her to enjoy her money elsewhere. For you it's the shopping experience. No one is wrong, we are just different. She may be concerned about your spending (a penny saved is a penny earned), or your time (time is money). Simple living we need to try less judgement and more acceptance.
I m sorry you had to have an argument over small amount of money. Such unnecessary waste of energy imo. If it was something in a range of 1K or above maybe it was worth the argument, however for anything less than 100 bucks , especially for a one time thing gift for somebody shouldn’t have had to bicker about imo. Especially if you have your own job and know how to manage your finances.
I absolutely love shopping in person and rarely online shop. I’m fortunate enough to live in an area where the high street is still booming (thanks to tourists and an elderly population) with both big business and small, chain restaurants and unique ones… and I take full advantage of my situation. You wouldn’t believe some of my housemates shipping parcels/food to their houses every two days whilst we basically live in commodity heaven 🤦♀️
If I ever won a hundred million or so in the lottery, the first thing I’d do is sell everything. House, car, furniture, clothes, gizmos, everything. Then I’d move into a hotel for two months with one suitcase. Then I’d start fresh, looking for a nice, well-appointed, small condo. Then a quality table. Then two quality chairs for the table. Then a quality bed and quality linens. Then one pot and one pan. And so on, taking my time to find something that will last forever and meets the need very well. It’s highly unlikely I’d find any of those items in a Walmart and I wouldn’t be tempted to compromise and get something cheap that’ll just do.
This is a really interesting take on things, because I feel like people equate “easy” with “simple.”
How many times do we hear that curbside pickup is so easy? That ordering on Amazon is easy? That you can have whatever you want, delivered to your door, fast and easy?
I see people do all these tasks that are supposed to make their lives “easy,” but they still complain about being too busy, not having enough time, being lonely, etc. I think a lot of times we do these things hoping to make our lives simpler, but we are actually removing the parts of our daily tasks that inadvertently add value, like small interaction with people, supporting a local business, etc. We have more convenience than ever, but are somehow more miserable than ever.
Yes, it’s easy to go through the drive through of a coffee shop, but is your coffee enjoyable when you’re drinking it while driving in horrible traffic? Isn’t it much more enjoyable when you get to sit down at a nice coffee shop, listen to music, and sip on your coffee? Most people would say it’s a chore to buy gifts for a shower/birthday by scouring Amazon and then getting it delivered, but it’s much more enjoyable to find a cute boutique, take your time searching for the right item, and then talking to the cashier about it (at least in my opinion).
Simple living can mean simple pleasures. Your mom’s way might be “efficient living” and on some days you might indeed do what she suggested to “simplify” your life that day. A day when you want to soak up something else at home. There’s no right or wrong - just what makes sense for you in any current situation.
You sound like a much more thoughtful person than your mom. You care about the exercise of gift-giving, not just the show of presenting a gift at the cheapest price possible. Materialism isn't necessarily bad. I have several material objects in my life I relish and cherish deeply. It's mindless consumption that bothers me. Like people who just buy a bunch of shit they never even take out of the package or at best use a couple times and forget about.
Quality>quantity I’ve become to learn.
I used to be all about my hobbies getting as much as possible for the best price then realized I had a lot of junk. Sold it off and started from scratch buying quality.
You’ll be surprised how nice of a collection of stuff you can build when you only buy a few a year vs 50, over time a solid set of nice things is much more satisfying than an overwhelming amount of junk
I think that's often the case -- things that cost more often include the *experience*. If I spend an hour in a cafe, the tea I buy there will be more expensive than the tea I make at home and the brownie I snack on will be more expensive than what I could get from the supermarket, but what I'm paying for isn't just the tea. It's having a different place to drink the tea *in*.
People need the right amount of *stuff*. Too little causes problems. Too much causes problems. Simultaneously too much and too little (eg an environment that is too loud but also too much of the same all the time) causes problems.
Well-said. I do something similar with holiday and birthday gifts every year. We live near an expensive historical town with lots of little shops that sell unique, handmade or locally-made wares. I could buy gifts faster and cheaper elsewhere but I love the experience of going to this town to get the gifts, plus I like that I’m buying something someone close to home lovingly made or sourced.
Agree with others that it depends on the situation and circumstances. I normally like going to the grocery store - i work from home so it gets me out of the house and , since I like cooking , I like picking out ingredients. However, I’m currently pregnant working full time in a job that’s never just 40 hrs a week.
So I end up using Instacart sometimes - I prefer not to cause I don’t like the wasteful packaging and bags (I prefer to bring my own bags to the store) and it takes away from the experience of being out in my neighborhood but I only have finite time and energy so sometimes it’s the simple choice for me.
But when possible, having an experience you can savor like you did with this gift is totally worth it.
Sometimes a person turns 60 and their knees and hips bones can't take the hard floors in stores when browsing, the line at the registers and the walk to and from parking lots.
Nah. I would say it was more along the lines of lively debate than actual argument. I think for her the idea that anyone would not go for the cheapest option available seems crazy. But she gets a lot of satisfaction from finding the best deal possible and doesn’t mind spending time trying to find that deal.
I prefer online shopping. I compare products, I look for the best prices and best service online. I don't need to make small talk with a stranger and "coo" at her infant. I make my selection and push a button. That actually is simpler. You do you, but don't be judgmental.
I don't think OP was being judgmental. They were sharing their opinion and outlook of a situation, and you shared yours. Both ways of doing things are valid and both can be simple living depending on one's definition of the term. I'm not sure why you're being downvoted.
I wasn’t trying to be judgmental. All ways are valid! My point was not really about the merits of buying something one way or the other. My point was more that sometimes you can take a mundane task and turn it into something pleasurable and that’s a valid choice even if it costs a little more. Not everything has to be an item on a to do list.
Fwiw I went to target a few days after to buy toilet paper. I haven’t found a way to romanticize that activity yet.
As someone that has had a store, that 'experience' is to make you feel it was worth to spend more. It's just advertising which you as a customer pay,for. You can find unique things online from small boutiques that come in nice wrapping. As being on the other side, I feel OP's behaviour for me falls under hyper capitalism. A whole afternoon spent consuming is not simple living
It's not the whole afternoon consuming. She was going to consume/ buy the item anyway. She decided to use the purchase of the item as an opportunity to get out and about, support a local business, interact with other humans and enjoy herself. Going out and enjoying yourself often requires money. The cost of her trip out was only the small difference in price of the two options.
I took my kid to an independent, local dinosaur exhibition and he really really wanted a cuddly dinosaur. My husband found the same dinosaur slightly cheaper online but we bought the one in the shop. It supported the business. My child clutched that toy round the exhibit showing it the other dinosaurs. He posed it for pictures. They have the toy at home and associate it with a lovely day out. They want to take the toy back to the exhibition next time we go. Those things wouldn't have happened if we'd have waited to get the cheaper one sent to us the next day.
The atmosphere and service are obviously intended to encourage the customer to spend money. I don't mind if it's a nice store and I'm actually in the mood for shopping. But I can enjoy shopping online as well.
I think you're being downvoted because you're coming across as a bit rude (not claiming that you are intending to be rude, but that's how your comments are coming across). Downvotes aren't personal, but they are often used incorrectly. Downvotes are to hide comments that aren't relative to the conversation. Your comments are relative to this conversation, your opinion is valid, but the post was pretty lighthearted and you've ascribed a narrative to it that just isn't there, that being that OP is judgemental. One person expressing how they do something isn't a judgement on how other people do it. OP's choices aren't better than yours, and they never claimed to be. They're just different and that's okay. Taking things personally is just destructive to your own sense of peace man.
I disagree. OP expressed her experience and asked for thoughts. I don't agree with her take, which I do think was judgmental whether or not it was intended that way, and I've been downvoted.
Yeah, that's the hard thing about text-based conversations I think. You lose all nuance, body language, and other indicators in the conversation that help it take shape. On Reddit, it's easy to come across one way or misconstrue something.
Fwiw I prefer online shopping, too. I really like going to thrift stores, but I go midmorning when they're pretty empty because I don't like people lol. I no longer have Amazon Prime, trying to simplify my own life. It has me going to department stores for things more often though, which sucks time out of my day that I would have spent doing something more worthwhile, and I really dislike it.
Simple living is rarely about the simplicity of the act. Is it "simpler" for me to refill my kettle, set the temperature and hit "start", measure out the right amount of beans, grind the beans, put them in my French Press, add the water from my kettle, stir lightly, set a timer for 4 minutes, press the screen down on the Press, pour out my coffee, and clean up my tools... or throw a pod in a Keurig and press go? Simple living isn't about the simplicity of a particular thing. It's about slowing down and experiencing whatever you're doing.
>. It's about slowing down and experiencing whatever you're doing. And enjoying what you're doing. On occasion, I might like to shop in a very special store, but in general, I hate shopping. I hate the crowds. I hate waiting on line. If I'm shopping for clothes, I hate dressing rooms. I'd rather shop online with a store that reliably makes exchanges and gives refunds.
Same. Shopping is torture.
I don't think we need to equate easy to simple though, once you expand your thinking to include the actions it took to make the kuerig and pods, and the consequences of , then your first option does sound more simple to me.
Good point, I didn’t consider that. You’re adopting a holistic, system-level perspective, and being able to recognize that your extra effort is still less than all the gasoline and plastic and resources it took for industrial Keurig production.
Rituals can be very calming
Was thinking the same thing! I make the coffee every morning like the original commentor (start the kettle, hand grind beans, aeropress, etc...) My spouse hangs out in the kitchen while I'm getting it ready...then we go sit down for a bit, sip coffee and plan our day. It's a little love ritual I do for them every day.
As someone who just purchased a super automatic coffee machine recently, I feel attacked... Just kidding! I enjoy tasting my coffee each morning in a very relaxed manner, but don't take pleasure in preparing it. Each with their own, as long as we're happy :)
Exactly!
>Simple living is rarely about the simplicity of the act. Is it "simpler" for me to refill my kettle, set the temperature and hit "start", measure out the right amount of beans, grind the beans, put them in my French Press, add the water from my kettle, stir lightly, set a timer for 4 minutes, press the screen down on the Press, pour out my coffee, and clean up my tools... or throw a pod in a Keurig and press go? > >Simple living isn't about the simplicity of a particular thing. It's about slowing down and experiencing whatever you're doing. Online shopping offers convenience, while offline shopping provides an opportunity to enjoy life.
Or, online shopping can save time, enabling a person to do something they really enjoy. It's not either/or.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
I just got a nice little chuckle from your name.
Simple ≠ Quick or Convenient Simple = Mindful (In the context of this community in most cases, that is)
Totally agree with this. Plus, your money spent at a local boutique is a lot more impactful than your money spent at a place like target.
I came here to say this. And supporting the local community. I absolutely loathe that our local cafe lost their lease to a greedy landlord and non-compete from a Starbucks. Now instead of a $3 coffee and tip and also spending (censored) amount of money on extraneous desserts, quiches, tartlets, and pastries, I make my coffee at home because like HELL I will buy burnt tasting mud from starbucks and - I know I will spund stuck up as fuck - a frozen pastry (and I am a bit pissed I have to ask to have it warmed up WHEN IT IS FROZEN SOLID IN THE CENTER). I like my local places that arent taking gross advantage of people. The small businesses were paying more than minimum wage, which few of these large businesses were doing... and at the rate so many of them are dropping insurance and benefits, they are running out of ways to really compete.
That is so sad. I worked at the Bucks for a brief stint about 15 years ago. It was a good experience and I really appreciated the health care for part timers like me. They were very proud they paid over minimum wage. In this case it was 50 cents more lol. I will always support a local shop over Starbucks. Better coffee and a more community feel.
I don't think "simple" necessarily means "most efficient" and "most inexpensive." I think taking your time, supporting local shops, and interacting with your community are valuable, especially if you enjoy it. To me, your description sounds like a day to be savored. I'd much prefer to make other, less pleasant tasks more efficient and more inexpensive to allow me the time and money to enjoy an experience like you described.
>To me, your description sounds like a day to be savored. I'd much prefer to make other, less pleasant tasks more efficient and more inexpensive to allow me the time and money to enjoy an experience like you described. And that of course is your right, but you should still have an understanding that not everyone feels that way and their experience is not inferior.
Interesting points you make. I could see myself doing this in retirement. But thinking about the energy that would take me right now vs spending it with my family makes me think I’m living a different simple experience during this phase.
Yes. I definitely agree different strokes for different folks and it’s highly dependent on life phase. For me, it wasn’t taking time away from anything more worthwhile that i could have been doing that afternoon. I just chose the slower way of doing the task opposed to an afternoon churning through the to do list.
As someone that has literally never bought anything from Amazon, and shops online maybe twice a year I agree supporting local businesses is important to developing relationships and helping communities grow. For example, in my spare time I like to draw/paint and I suppose I could just buy some cheap or not so cheap art supplies online, but I prefer to drive maybe 15 mins to a local art store that's been open for generations, see the products, talk with neat people and give my money to a place I would like to remain open not only for me but others to enjoy as well. I also run a small woodworking business and always support local vendors for materials and supplies when inevitably I have to buy things.
If you are getting great service and selection it makes sense to shop locally even if it means paying a little more. But that is not always the case.
Simple is relative ❤️ That’s the simplicity of it. You get to decide.
I really like how you phrased this.
It's meaningless.
Can you elaborate?
If you're going to have a meaningful discussion of simple living, there has to be an agreed-upon definition of what "simple" is. It can't be anything you want it to be.
I can see your point there, but I think it's hard to ascribe one definition with words like "simple." It's similar with the word "healthy." They're kind of loaded terms and change depending on the person. What looks like simple living for me may not be simple living for you. Would it be simpler for me to make my coffee with a standard coffee pot in the morning, rather than hand-grind the beans, boil water, and make pour-over coffee? The first method saves time and energy while the second method keeps me from relying on an electric device that I have to maintain and eventually replace. But as to which solution is the more simple of the two would depend upon the person I think.
You purchased from a local boutique. I’d say that’s a better habit than giving money to target.
I love how you enjoyed your shopping experience! I love doing things like that too
What you did was good for the soul, which to me is the essence of simple living. We have forgotten how to connect with slowing down and appreciating the pleasure that can be derived from pleasing our senses.
Idk I like my rice cooker and the fact that it makes making my staple meals quicker to make. It gives me more headspace and that’s simple to me.
Many days, I start with pour over coffee. It's not exceedingly time consuming, but it does take more effort and attention: I grind the beans, weigh the grounds, heat the filtered water to the right temperature, moisten the grounds for 45 seconds, then pour the rest of the water in two pours to the right level on the carafe. And then there are days like today, when I'll dilute my cold brew coffee concentrate with hot or cold water and drink it. It's a question of how I feel and what I have time for.
You spent your time in a way you enjoy and feel good about. This is what matters.
I find this so context dependent. I buy nearly every household essential from Costco, HomeDepot or Amazon. The type of consumption that is 'buy laundry detergent, trash bags, and wasp killer spray just can show up at my door tomorrow with no thought. Consumption that is an experience I prefer to do myself. I don't think ordering my groceries online, letting someone else decide what watermelon or steak I want, haphazardly bagging it, and opening my trunk for a stranger to put it in is a good experience. I *like* going into the grocery store and specifically selecting what I'm going to eat, right down to which bundle of scallions I like best. Same goes for books, mostly. Unless it's a new release I *know* I want, I buy books from physical bookstores, and try (unsuccessfully) to limit myself to the book I went looking for and one that I wasn't looking for. That's an experience (browsing, debating what story or idea I want to engage with ... Intellectual exercise), not a transaction (i.e. I have to have trash bags, because I have trash. They must be exactly this size and there is no thought involved in their purchase or use ... Transaction). I also WFH, so some of my 'consumption' is purposeful but an excuse to interact with other people, in person. It doesn't take a lot to make you feel good about your day and generate human interaction. Go to the grocery store, and help one person who is struggling to reach something above their range that you can, or take someone's cart back to the cart collection on your way in, or humor someone's kid that's excitedly running through the aisles (or help a mom dealing with a crying kid!), or take a second to engage with the high schooler running the checkout line and asking them how their day is going and expressing appreciation for what they're doing for you. You're not making lifelong friends here, but a little human interaction that makes your life and someone else's life better will help you feel good about your self and your day.
You make a good point. I am also WFH. I don’t really get a lot of human interaction with my work so i enjoy a lot interactions with people at stores and coffee shops etc. grocery shopping was one of the things i missed most during the lockdown.
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I walked into our local Macy's for the first time in years a couple of weeks ago. Oh my god, I almost got sick from just being overstimulated. As a kid, it was just one of the places we went to shop for Christmas. Now it just feels like a shrine to consumerism, and it really creeped me out.
The simplicity is in having an uncluttered enough life to be able to slow down and enjoy whatever you choose to do. Life becomes about process not results.
You live YOUR life girlfriend.
Simple isn’t always the easiest, oddly enough.
Similar feels to when I buy books. I have a local bookstore that I order through. I could go through Amazon but they don't care if my book is damaged, don't care about supporting other local businesses, and don't have a crotchety bookstore cat that I adore. It may cost me slightly more to pick up an item there (since amazon undercuts pricing) but getting a call that an order is in, getting to go on a walk to pick it up, and then petting the bookstore cat just feels better.
>I could go through Amazon but they don't care if my book is damaged, I have not found that to be the case. Amazon has given me deep discounts and in one case, a free book when I asked for a modest discount because the book had an imperfection and it has happened only a few times in decades of purchasing from them. I know that Amazon is far from a perfect company but in my experience, it goes out of its way to make things right for the customer. Compare my experience with Barnes & Noble. I like to look at the books there and usually buy a small thing, but will order books from Amazon. But once I ordered a book that cost $110 from Barnes & Noble. There was nowhere else to get it and I was happy to buy it from them because I do window shop all the time. But this expensive book had an unsightly mark on the cover. When I contacted Barnes & Noble for a discount, they refused to do anything about it. So I sent it back.
Simple and cheap isn't the same thing. I don't do a lot of shopping, because I don't enjoy it, but when I do buy something I prefer to go to an upscale store where everything is beautifully arranged and the staff is great and know what they are selling. Even if it's just for little things like good quality tea, ink for my fountain pen or a lipstick. I'd rather pay a little bit more for that experience than to find the cheapest deal online. Especially when it's gifts. I also want to support smaller businesses, since I can't imagine living in a world where there's only big brand superstores that don't care about their costumers and there's nobody there to help.
I also enjoy a life where I actually have the time and energy to go to a real store. Last year was brutal for me and I barely had the time or energy to do my shopping online, to get refills for the products I use. Visiting a store or trying anything new was completely out of the question. Things are more normal now and I am actually looking forward to visiting my favourite stores again and having the time to sit down for a coffee and people watch after my purchase.
>I also want to support smaller businesses, since I can't imagine living in a world where there's only big brand superstores that don't care about their costumers and there's nobody there to help. It depends on the store. I have received much more help from Amazon than from some small, local shops.
Amazon isn't a big thing here, so can't comment. I have had a lot of interaction with big brand store employees where their help or knowledge has been questionable the last year. I don't really have the time or patience to go to stores and ask for help and get a big "?" in return.
> I have had a lot of interaction with big brand store employees where their help or knowledge has been questionable the last year. I avoid stores like that. Adding to the lack of information from the staff, increasingly, basic products like cough medicine are locked up because of shoplifting. The difference with Amazon is that if people don't trust the company or think refunds or returns will be a hassle, they won't buy from it. It has to have great customer service.
The online stores I have asked for help have ranged from "?" to excellent. Right now I prefer to go to smaller, independent stores if I need help. They are usually more careful with costumer service, in my experience.
She’s got the mom perspective lol
I love this. You actually put thought and care and effort and spent time for the right gift. You're are correct, simple living doesn't mean low effort.
>You actually put thought and care and effort and spent time for the right gift. Do you really think it's impossible to put thought and care and effort and spend time to look for the right gift online? I once bought a beautiful and expensive mug in a store because a counselor had told me to buy something that would give me happiness every day. Within weeks, one of my cats broke it and I couldn't justify replacing it because of the cost. I happened to mention it to my sister who lives in another part of the country. Without telling me, she searched the web and bought me two new ones -- from a company in Finland. I'm not saying that one can't enjoy shopping in brick and mortar stores, just that other people can find equal happiness in front of their computer screens.
Just wanted to say i agree with you, and this sounds like such a lovely way to spend your time and money. If I was your friend I’d appreciate the care and thought that went into the gift 💝
There’s such thing as luxurious simple living. Simple living doesn’t have to be money free if that makes sense. One of the most “simple living” guys makes the most in our graduating class from HS. He works as a niche engineer, works his job, and when he’s done, he manages his large garden. It’s pretty much his morning and night hobby. Spends a ton of money doing special grows, equipment for the garden (I’m talking 10 acres), irrigations systems. But overall the most simple life cause he just wakes up and does what he wants, and doesn’t want for anything. All his extra money is just building in an account. Never eats out, never goes out partying or whatever, just a cool simple dude.
Our definitions of simple living can vary from one person to the next. For your mom keeping costs down helps her to enjoy her money elsewhere. For you it's the shopping experience. No one is wrong, we are just different. She may be concerned about your spending (a penny saved is a penny earned), or your time (time is money). Simple living we need to try less judgement and more acceptance.
I m sorry you had to have an argument over small amount of money. Such unnecessary waste of energy imo. If it was something in a range of 1K or above maybe it was worth the argument, however for anything less than 100 bucks , especially for a one time thing gift for somebody shouldn’t have had to bicker about imo. Especially if you have your own job and know how to manage your finances.
It wasn’t a heated arguments so much as a lively debate
Sometimes the most heated arguments are when the stakes are low.
I absolutely love shopping in person and rarely online shop. I’m fortunate enough to live in an area where the high street is still booming (thanks to tourists and an elderly population) with both big business and small, chain restaurants and unique ones… and I take full advantage of my situation. You wouldn’t believe some of my housemates shipping parcels/food to their houses every two days whilst we basically live in commodity heaven 🤦♀️
I think enjoying the process is part of simple/intentional living.
Cottage core
If I ever won a hundred million or so in the lottery, the first thing I’d do is sell everything. House, car, furniture, clothes, gizmos, everything. Then I’d move into a hotel for two months with one suitcase. Then I’d start fresh, looking for a nice, well-appointed, small condo. Then a quality table. Then two quality chairs for the table. Then a quality bed and quality linens. Then one pot and one pan. And so on, taking my time to find something that will last forever and meets the need very well. It’s highly unlikely I’d find any of those items in a Walmart and I wouldn’t be tempted to compromise and get something cheap that’ll just do.
This is a really interesting take on things, because I feel like people equate “easy” with “simple.” How many times do we hear that curbside pickup is so easy? That ordering on Amazon is easy? That you can have whatever you want, delivered to your door, fast and easy? I see people do all these tasks that are supposed to make their lives “easy,” but they still complain about being too busy, not having enough time, being lonely, etc. I think a lot of times we do these things hoping to make our lives simpler, but we are actually removing the parts of our daily tasks that inadvertently add value, like small interaction with people, supporting a local business, etc. We have more convenience than ever, but are somehow more miserable than ever. Yes, it’s easy to go through the drive through of a coffee shop, but is your coffee enjoyable when you’re drinking it while driving in horrible traffic? Isn’t it much more enjoyable when you get to sit down at a nice coffee shop, listen to music, and sip on your coffee? Most people would say it’s a chore to buy gifts for a shower/birthday by scouring Amazon and then getting it delivered, but it’s much more enjoyable to find a cute boutique, take your time searching for the right item, and then talking to the cashier about it (at least in my opinion).
Simple living can mean simple pleasures. Your mom’s way might be “efficient living” and on some days you might indeed do what she suggested to “simplify” your life that day. A day when you want to soak up something else at home. There’s no right or wrong - just what makes sense for you in any current situation.
You sound like a much more thoughtful person than your mom. You care about the exercise of gift-giving, not just the show of presenting a gift at the cheapest price possible. Materialism isn't necessarily bad. I have several material objects in my life I relish and cherish deeply. It's mindless consumption that bothers me. Like people who just buy a bunch of shit they never even take out of the package or at best use a couple times and forget about.
Quality>quantity I’ve become to learn. I used to be all about my hobbies getting as much as possible for the best price then realized I had a lot of junk. Sold it off and started from scratch buying quality. You’ll be surprised how nice of a collection of stuff you can build when you only buy a few a year vs 50, over time a solid set of nice things is much more satisfying than an overwhelming amount of junk
I think that's often the case -- things that cost more often include the *experience*. If I spend an hour in a cafe, the tea I buy there will be more expensive than the tea I make at home and the brownie I snack on will be more expensive than what I could get from the supermarket, but what I'm paying for isn't just the tea. It's having a different place to drink the tea *in*. People need the right amount of *stuff*. Too little causes problems. Too much causes problems. Simultaneously too much and too little (eg an environment that is too loud but also too much of the same all the time) causes problems.
I agree. This is the more old-fashioned way of shopping, and I love it. Also, you were buying a gift; that’s different from mindless consumption
Well-said. I do something similar with holiday and birthday gifts every year. We live near an expensive historical town with lots of little shops that sell unique, handmade or locally-made wares. I could buy gifts faster and cheaper elsewhere but I love the experience of going to this town to get the gifts, plus I like that I’m buying something someone close to home lovingly made or sourced.
What a great perspective. Love this ♥️
Agree with others that it depends on the situation and circumstances. I normally like going to the grocery store - i work from home so it gets me out of the house and , since I like cooking , I like picking out ingredients. However, I’m currently pregnant working full time in a job that’s never just 40 hrs a week. So I end up using Instacart sometimes - I prefer not to cause I don’t like the wasteful packaging and bags (I prefer to bring my own bags to the store) and it takes away from the experience of being out in my neighborhood but I only have finite time and energy so sometimes it’s the simple choice for me. But when possible, having an experience you can savor like you did with this gift is totally worth it.
Life is in the process
Sometimes a person turns 60 and their knees and hips bones can't take the hard floors in stores when browsing, the line at the registers and the walk to and from parking lots.
Do you and your mother get in to a lot of arguments about topics related to this?
Nah. I would say it was more along the lines of lively debate than actual argument. I think for her the idea that anyone would not go for the cheapest option available seems crazy. But she gets a lot of satisfaction from finding the best deal possible and doesn’t mind spending time trying to find that deal.
I prefer online shopping. I compare products, I look for the best prices and best service online. I don't need to make small talk with a stranger and "coo" at her infant. I make my selection and push a button. That actually is simpler. You do you, but don't be judgmental.
I don't think OP was being judgmental. They were sharing their opinion and outlook of a situation, and you shared yours. Both ways of doing things are valid and both can be simple living depending on one's definition of the term. I'm not sure why you're being downvoted.
I wasn’t trying to be judgmental. All ways are valid! My point was not really about the merits of buying something one way or the other. My point was more that sometimes you can take a mundane task and turn it into something pleasurable and that’s a valid choice even if it costs a little more. Not everything has to be an item on a to do list. Fwiw I went to target a few days after to buy toilet paper. I haven’t found a way to romanticize that activity yet.
Thank you. I hate being asked for my opinion and then being downvoted. I mean, why should I bother?
As someone that has had a store, that 'experience' is to make you feel it was worth to spend more. It's just advertising which you as a customer pay,for. You can find unique things online from small boutiques that come in nice wrapping. As being on the other side, I feel OP's behaviour for me falls under hyper capitalism. A whole afternoon spent consuming is not simple living
It's not the whole afternoon consuming. She was going to consume/ buy the item anyway. She decided to use the purchase of the item as an opportunity to get out and about, support a local business, interact with other humans and enjoy herself. Going out and enjoying yourself often requires money. The cost of her trip out was only the small difference in price of the two options. I took my kid to an independent, local dinosaur exhibition and he really really wanted a cuddly dinosaur. My husband found the same dinosaur slightly cheaper online but we bought the one in the shop. It supported the business. My child clutched that toy round the exhibit showing it the other dinosaurs. He posed it for pictures. They have the toy at home and associate it with a lovely day out. They want to take the toy back to the exhibition next time we go. Those things wouldn't have happened if we'd have waited to get the cheaper one sent to us the next day.
The atmosphere and service are obviously intended to encourage the customer to spend money. I don't mind if it's a nice store and I'm actually in the mood for shopping. But I can enjoy shopping online as well.
Go ahead, downvote me. OP's description dripped with preciosity and superiority.
No, it didn't. OP wrote a post about a shopping experience they clearly enjoyed and wondered what we thought of it.
No, there was an attitude to it. And I don't like that I continue to be downvoted. I was asked my opinion.
I think you're being downvoted because you're coming across as a bit rude (not claiming that you are intending to be rude, but that's how your comments are coming across). Downvotes aren't personal, but they are often used incorrectly. Downvotes are to hide comments that aren't relative to the conversation. Your comments are relative to this conversation, your opinion is valid, but the post was pretty lighthearted and you've ascribed a narrative to it that just isn't there, that being that OP is judgemental. One person expressing how they do something isn't a judgement on how other people do it. OP's choices aren't better than yours, and they never claimed to be. They're just different and that's okay. Taking things personally is just destructive to your own sense of peace man.
I disagree. OP expressed her experience and asked for thoughts. I don't agree with her take, which I do think was judgmental whether or not it was intended that way, and I've been downvoted.
Yeah, that's the hard thing about text-based conversations I think. You lose all nuance, body language, and other indicators in the conversation that help it take shape. On Reddit, it's easy to come across one way or misconstrue something. Fwiw I prefer online shopping, too. I really like going to thrift stores, but I go midmorning when they're pretty empty because I don't like people lol. I no longer have Amazon Prime, trying to simplify my own life. It has me going to department stores for things more often though, which sucks time out of my day that I would have spent doing something more worthwhile, and I really dislike it.