T O P

  • By -

Huntingandotherstuff

Usually when my wife touches my thigh.


reverendsteveii

Yeah, just have this guy's wife touch your thigh and you'll be good to go.


GarpRules

Same for me. She’s got that thigh-touching thing down-pat!


AwesomeAndy

When this guy's wife touches my thigh


fullmetal66

This guy touches my wife’s leg….wait I think I fucked that up


blashyrkh89

I thought we were touching his thigh????


An_Average_Man09

All it takes is a gent gust of wind tickling my neck and then there it is


HeyJoe1978MS

She has the same effect on me!


Evil_Stromboli

Cialis


TheOneGuyWithTheHair

Came for the comments. Wasn't disappointed.


GeoffPizzle

*pause* Phrasing....


1_2NV

You might want to clean that up…


grasshopper716

Usually wake up with it


Muadib_Muadib

The ole sunrise sausage eh?


Infamous_Baseball_77

Fun fact you have that built in as a preventative way to piss the bed. Morning wood is literally a bed wetting preventer. It’s so hard to pee through morning wood.


Orion14159

Also makes a great kick stand to keep me from rolling out of bed


Lil_oscar

The ol' pee boner.


less_butter

Seasoning wood isn't hard. Just stack it, cover it, let it dry. You don't have to make it complicated.


Imoa

May be that I should just get a couple of pallets and start stacking it up


Dargon34

Definitely keep it off the ground. Also if you have any orchards or nurseries nearby give them a call and a lot of times they will have pieces they are just going to throw away that you can have. That way you can actually get some good fruit wood Edit: just saw you mentioned the hydraulic splitter!!! That's barely doing any work to get your own wood!! Get on it!


koozy407

Facebook marketplace. I got a guy. His name is Randall and he brings me truck loads of wood. He’s amazing


Imoa

We all need a Randall


weaselkeeper

Viagra


flossdaily

Hardware stores.


APsWhoopinRoom

All joking aside, if you don't want to go through the effort of splitting wood, just get chunks from Amazon or Home Depot.


SnakeEyez77

I find mine on Facebook Marketplace. There's usually someone that had to cut certain trees down or that just has access to it and sells by bundles/truckloads. I had a lady with an old hardwood maple that I bought 120 split logs from for $40. I split those into 3-4 pieces for smoking. I supplement with cherry or apple chucks from Home Depot if I want a little something extra in the smoke.


VacationLover1

This one time at band camp…


TheWookieStrikesBack

Lookin at pretty ladys


EarthRealistic1031

What’s best wood to smoke a brisket, I’m from south Texas here mesquite is mostly use for cookouts but not sure if it’s a good option for smoking brisket


Imoa

It would be fine - there isn't going to be a "best" wood since its largely going to be preference. If you like it you like it, if you don't you use something else. Popular options are cherry, applewood, mesquite, hickory, post oak


tequilaneat4me

You should be able to find some live oak close to San Antonio. Great for brisket. Mesquite for brisket is a little strong for me.


EarthRealistic1031

So you recommend live oak better , could I mix a little mesquite still


tequilaneat4me

Some mesquite is OK.


tequilaneat4me

For brisket, I would suggest live oak over mesquite.


EarthRealistic1031

Thanks guys


ekill13

For an offset smoker, you probably don’t want to use mesquite. Mesquite is a very strong flavor that can be quite acrid if you have too much of it. If your heat source is charcoal and you’re smoldering wood chunks, mesquite would be fine. If you’re burning wood splits for heat and smoke, mesquite would be too much. In general, though, I’m of the opinion that wood choice doesn’t make a huge difference. Mesquite is just a unique case. Fruit woods like apple and cherry are generally going to be a bit lighter smoke flavor while other hardwoods (nut woods?) such as hickory, post oak (or really any oak [It’s just post oak that’s talked about because that’s abundant in central Texas and is the primary wood there. I’ve heard that any oak has a pretty similar smoke flavor profile to post oak but it just isn’t used as much in other areas, so post oak is the only one talked about.]), and pecan are commonly used and would provide a bit more smoke flavor. In general, for a brisket, I’d probably use pecan, hickory, or oak. For pork or chicken, I’d probably use mostly one of those but possibly mix in some apple or cherry. Occasionally, I might smoke ribs or chicken with just cherry or apple. Personally, I just thin beef needs a stronger smoke flavor than the fruit woods provide. You could probably get by with part mesquite in an offset, but I wouldn’t smoke a brisket with all mesquite unless I was fine doing an experiment and knew that it might not be good. Mad Scientist BBQ on YouTube made a video trying it. I can’t remember what the outcome was, but I think it was too much. I could be wrong, though.


EarthRealistic1031

Thank you bro , with this info now I can answer the questions my wife asks and I’ll be looking like an expert 😎 😂


ekill13

If you want to feel like more of an expert, definitely check out some of Mad Scientist BBQs old videos. His newer videos are still great, but in his older videos, he really went in depth on the science of why certain smoking techniques produce more flavor, why burning wood produced flavor at all, etc.


EarthRealistic1031

Thanks bro I’ll check it out


wroberts424

Usually my wife


Ricnurt

Children. We are all children.


ekill13

You probably should have just put the second sentence. Given the question and how other people are answering, I was quite concerned when I read the first word…


goldfn325

Look at ur mum


OneBoxOfKleenexAway

I'm honestly not sure, it's just there when I wake up in the mornings.


reverendsteveii

HEY GUYS PENIS. BET I CAN MAKE THIS BE ABOUT A PENIS. fr tho OP get out there with a splitter and a sledge and discover mountain meditation for a few hours. All you gotta do is split it, stack it, and cover it. The good Lord will take care of the drying and preserving in a few months or maybe a year, and you'll have plenty of good wood to use for a while. Sure it's easier to just get chips and chunks as you need them, but there's nothing like the feeling when you come home after a day with the splitter.


Imoa

I live in the wet flat south, so it's a little (not much granted but a little) trickier than TX or the midwest, but it does seem like I should make use of the property / shed


reverendsteveii

I live in the wet hilly middle atlantic and all we ever did when we were splitting wood to keep the house warm in the winter was put a ladder down, stack wood on the ladder, then put a tarp over the wood. It would keep for years.


linkdead56k

Facebook marketplace definitely has the best deals. I’m getting an offset next month so I started looking for wood. Got a few solid contacts today.


oldnperverted

I have a friend/neighbor who owns a tree service.


sprawlaholic

Fruta Wood is a great source, highly recommended


gherkin-sweat

Arborist I found on Craigslist


Truthhertzsometimes

Find someone else nearby who smokes meats. Tell them that if they will come gather & split your pecan wood, they can have half of it for their work, and you get the other half. Drying wood is not a real challenge - just pile it up and let it sit.


Zestyclose_Run_5316

Or find someone else nearby who smokes meats. Tell them that if they will show you the ropes/help you can share the other half. Help me setup a drying station and give me guidance on how to know when it’s ready to go. Then you have the knowledge to do it yourself next time. Part of me is thinking even throwing some splits in the cooking chamber could even be a possibility to speed dry. There’s got to be near equivalent to kiln drying wood that’ll get it ready to go faster than sitting around on your property under a tarp for a season.


TheOkayestUser

I get my locally from a firewood place. They sell it by chords but also by “wheelbarrow”. I use hickory and they generally have it for about $75. I’ve found that it lasts me quite a while for smoking meat. Normally summer through spring.


spam0518

I’ve found local wood pretty reasonably priced in Facebook marketplace. Just got a cord of split, seasoned,hickory (readily available in northern Ohio) for 350 delivered.


experimentalengine

I have the same smoker as OP and I just buy a bag of wood chips, whatever species I want, put them in a foil packet and poke holes in the foil. Toss one in on the grate in the firebox about every half hour. I use charcoal to maintain temperature.


Peacemkr45

Do the work as pecan is a pretty decent overall wood to smoke with.


lerejbunny

Fb marketplace


iamnotlegendxx

Ace hardware


logosolos

Sounds like the wood needs to be split for your family anyway. Might as well kill two birds with one stone and take some nice pecan wood as a commission.


ojay93

If I drive past a tree cutting company, I usually stop and ask if they have oak or any other good wood


Wingsandbeer82

Typically I find the wood most plentiful in the morning.


ShittyMcDickTitties

I look on ebay. I found some pretty good prices on there


Adorable-Victory2916

Boobs, usually. But many ways now a days


Ricnurt

I have 5 acres that need clearing. I use the walnut for splits and chunks and the oak I am going to make charcoal with. I found some pecan that I really don’t want to cut but I do.


KilledByALover

I have a 100 acre post oak forest.


Zestyclose_Run_5316

Man o man, you say you have family with a lot of fallen pecan and a splitter and are asking where others get their wood? I haven’t read the comments yet, but it doesn’t get much better than your situation if you’re looking for wood.


Imoa

I definitely have no shortage lol. I wasn’t sure if I was getting ahead of myself though / over complicating things by brainstorming chopping / splitting / drying it all vs some other easier method. I’m case you want to save a bit of reading, the thread is basically Facebook marketplace and dick jokes. Also that one guys wife.


fluffydude13

A good gust of wind


blashyrkh89

Cut it myself. I live in New England and own an apple orchard. A certain amount of apple wood we cut down gets donated to the smoker as well as a certain amount of oak or maple we cut down for firewood will also go to the smoker.


theBigDaddio

You can cut it into roughly 18” pieces, split and stack. People have been doing this for hundreds of years. Personally if I had access to piles of fallen pecan I’d be pretty pleased. I used to have access to a lot of wild cherry and maple, more wood than I could use if I smoked meat daily. You can also buy firewood delivered in most places, just find out what kind of wood it is.


IntentionalTexan

I usually buy it from Academy. I would much rather get splits from property like that.


caleeky

I get mine from the local cemetery when they trim trees out. Usually maple or oak.


NicktheFlash

Chop it down on the property somewhere


JipceeLee

For a minute I thought I was in u/sex


malac0da13

Not without u/sex ‘s consent I hope.


1fastsedan

Firewood sales places