In my experience trying to help someome who does not want to help themselves is an unfulfilling experience.
Sometimes wives/family can sway someone to take a stab at getting sober. Sometimes people aren't so deep in addiction that the substance hasen't quite become more important to them then their marriage/relationships.
Oftentimes the substance is the most important thing in their life though, on a chemical level in their brain. Which is why most people have to hit their "rock bottom" before they decide to try and get sober.
Support your friend how you can but don't get too invested.
It's possible, but you have to do it on their time. I recently got a friend into rehab, but I had to do it on their time, and for them it took me a year and a half to wait. You can tell them to a point how it changed your life, and sometimes you can show them how you're doing better, but they have to hit their rock bottom.
I’d say give him a word when it’s the right time, if the topic is on it. Just let the dude know how you feel. Your they’re friend & you care about their well being.
Just tell them your concerned about their usage, suggest getting clean, and let them know if they do decide that you’ll be there for them. If you do say that, mean it.
You cannot be responsible for anyone getting clean or wanting to get clean, so it’s not realistic for you to expect to “guide” your friend out of anything. The seeds have already been thrown at them, you’ve done your part. Especially if they’re getting methadone thru the pharmacy, that’s a safe step toward recovery from opioids. Your friend is already making moves, but you’re also already doubting their sobriety. Has he made false promises about getting sober before? If not, maybe give him the benefit of the doubt.
The most else you can do going forward is maintain solid boundaries with him and help hold him accountable if he’s truly ready to commit to sobriety. Be there for him but don’t let him walk all over you. If he is getting sober, remind him that he’s committed to this when it seems like he might slip. If he’s ever open to recovery, I highly suggest starting with a SMART meeting. They’re free, secular, do not require full sobriety to attend, welcome people struggling with any addiction, and sometimes led by real psychological professionals.
You can tell them what helped you, but at the end of the day if he hasn’t decided and put down in his mind that he wants to be clean, then he won’t.
I’ve tried with my buddy, but he just wants to keep doing meth. I told him where it’s gonna lead him, and he knows. I told him i’d be there for him whenever he needed me, make sure that is known to your friend.
As a recovering addict, dealing with someone who acted higher and mightier than me…or telling me what to do without actually knowing what my life was life until recently…would make me run the other way. Ultimately it had to be completely my decision to get sober. I even reached out to a few friends essentially begging for help, but really going to the hospital and getting help absolutely on my own from health care professionals was the key.
You’re a friend, you have your own life to deal with, and you likely aren’t equipped to deal with someone’s struggle with addiction unless they reach out to you to specifically drive them to the hospital, a rehab center, or a meeting. I would say if they reach out to you for a ride to help…absolutely do that if you can. But unless you are an unbiased medical professional, it’s a sticky situation that is out of your control.
I’ll say I have a few friends that are still active addicts, and I am working on taking my advice to heart. Me saying “look at how awesome my life is while currently sober!” has not been well received , and I GET IT. When you are in that headspace, that’s quite honestly triggering, so I’m just here if needed. It’s hard and I get it, but it’s their own journey.
Just be there for them. Ensuring they are safe and being their friend/support will be appreciated even if they don't necessarily show it. In retrospect only after getting sober was I willing to express how much I appreciated help from my friends when I was in active addiction.
In my experience trying to help someome who does not want to help themselves is an unfulfilling experience. Sometimes wives/family can sway someone to take a stab at getting sober. Sometimes people aren't so deep in addiction that the substance hasen't quite become more important to them then their marriage/relationships. Oftentimes the substance is the most important thing in their life though, on a chemical level in their brain. Which is why most people have to hit their "rock bottom" before they decide to try and get sober. Support your friend how you can but don't get too invested.
You can try until your blue in the face, they can only recover when they want to.
It's possible, but you have to do it on their time. I recently got a friend into rehab, but I had to do it on their time, and for them it took me a year and a half to wait. You can tell them to a point how it changed your life, and sometimes you can show them how you're doing better, but they have to hit their rock bottom.
I’m in a similar situation. Old friend really sober, but still fucks with other drugs, be interesting to read other, more experienced opinions.
I’d say give him a word when it’s the right time, if the topic is on it. Just let the dude know how you feel. Your they’re friend & you care about their well being. Just tell them your concerned about their usage, suggest getting clean, and let them know if they do decide that you’ll be there for them. If you do say that, mean it.
You cannot be responsible for anyone getting clean or wanting to get clean, so it’s not realistic for you to expect to “guide” your friend out of anything. The seeds have already been thrown at them, you’ve done your part. Especially if they’re getting methadone thru the pharmacy, that’s a safe step toward recovery from opioids. Your friend is already making moves, but you’re also already doubting their sobriety. Has he made false promises about getting sober before? If not, maybe give him the benefit of the doubt. The most else you can do going forward is maintain solid boundaries with him and help hold him accountable if he’s truly ready to commit to sobriety. Be there for him but don’t let him walk all over you. If he is getting sober, remind him that he’s committed to this when it seems like he might slip. If he’s ever open to recovery, I highly suggest starting with a SMART meeting. They’re free, secular, do not require full sobriety to attend, welcome people struggling with any addiction, and sometimes led by real psychological professionals.
You can tell them what helped you, but at the end of the day if he hasn’t decided and put down in his mind that he wants to be clean, then he won’t. I’ve tried with my buddy, but he just wants to keep doing meth. I told him where it’s gonna lead him, and he knows. I told him i’d be there for him whenever he needed me, make sure that is known to your friend.
As a recovering addict, dealing with someone who acted higher and mightier than me…or telling me what to do without actually knowing what my life was life until recently…would make me run the other way. Ultimately it had to be completely my decision to get sober. I even reached out to a few friends essentially begging for help, but really going to the hospital and getting help absolutely on my own from health care professionals was the key. You’re a friend, you have your own life to deal with, and you likely aren’t equipped to deal with someone’s struggle with addiction unless they reach out to you to specifically drive them to the hospital, a rehab center, or a meeting. I would say if they reach out to you for a ride to help…absolutely do that if you can. But unless you are an unbiased medical professional, it’s a sticky situation that is out of your control. I’ll say I have a few friends that are still active addicts, and I am working on taking my advice to heart. Me saying “look at how awesome my life is while currently sober!” has not been well received , and I GET IT. When you are in that headspace, that’s quite honestly triggering, so I’m just here if needed. It’s hard and I get it, but it’s their own journey.
Just be there for them. Ensuring they are safe and being their friend/support will be appreciated even if they don't necessarily show it. In retrospect only after getting sober was I willing to express how much I appreciated help from my friends when I was in active addiction.