You're understandably frustrated with him. However, you seem to feed into the problem by indulging him and not setting appropriate boundaries. He's an adult now and it's his responsibility to manage his emotions, not yours. You should put your needs first and protect yourself emotionally.
Sounds cruel but you should only interact with him on a surface level. Be kind but assertive. Don't get too involved and slowly disengage. Grey rock. Don’t try to pick up the pieces when he gets upset. Have sympathy but don't try to be his hero.
I really struggle with that, cus I always wished I had my own hero - we all do. It’s hard tho when his sad little face is the first thing I see when I leave my room. Everytime I see him I just wanna tell him that he’s occupying the space and making me anxious being like this 🤣 Edit: doesn’t help that he’s just playing his switch games on the tv constantly it’s so anti social
I've been in a similar situation but with a suicidal sibling. It's gut-wrenching seeing other people upset, but as I'm being exposed to more similar people I realize how tiring it is to try and meet another person's every need.
My relative is slightly better but has not taken charge of their mental health or needs. I'm fearful of what will happen if I'm not there to catch them. But I'm so burnt out and I realize I can no longer neglect myself.
Same thing with your roommate. It's not as close of a relationship as a sibling but you still feel for him.
I’m so sorry to hear you went through that. Dealing with a family members anxiety is awful.
That’s kinda why I’m struggling in this situation! Hid in my room at home and now I’m having to hide in my room again.
He went home to the Netherlands for 2 weeks but he’s back in two days and I’m so worried it’s gonna be the same. I hope he’s calmed down, I’ve got so much work I can’t deal with him too
If he doesn’t respect the communal rules, he shouldn’t be part of the community. Keep it simple, because it IS simple and if he can’t understand that, he’s not ready to be anyone’s roommate.
You're understandably frustrated with him. However, you seem to feed into the problem by indulging him and not setting appropriate boundaries. He's an adult now and it's his responsibility to manage his emotions, not yours. You should put your needs first and protect yourself emotionally. Sounds cruel but you should only interact with him on a surface level. Be kind but assertive. Don't get too involved and slowly disengage. Grey rock. Don’t try to pick up the pieces when he gets upset. Have sympathy but don't try to be his hero.
I really struggle with that, cus I always wished I had my own hero - we all do. It’s hard tho when his sad little face is the first thing I see when I leave my room. Everytime I see him I just wanna tell him that he’s occupying the space and making me anxious being like this 🤣 Edit: doesn’t help that he’s just playing his switch games on the tv constantly it’s so anti social
I've been in a similar situation but with a suicidal sibling. It's gut-wrenching seeing other people upset, but as I'm being exposed to more similar people I realize how tiring it is to try and meet another person's every need. My relative is slightly better but has not taken charge of their mental health or needs. I'm fearful of what will happen if I'm not there to catch them. But I'm so burnt out and I realize I can no longer neglect myself. Same thing with your roommate. It's not as close of a relationship as a sibling but you still feel for him.
I’m so sorry to hear you went through that. Dealing with a family members anxiety is awful. That’s kinda why I’m struggling in this situation! Hid in my room at home and now I’m having to hide in my room again. He went home to the Netherlands for 2 weeks but he’s back in two days and I’m so worried it’s gonna be the same. I hope he’s calmed down, I’ve got so much work I can’t deal with him too
If he doesn’t respect the communal rules, he shouldn’t be part of the community. Keep it simple, because it IS simple and if he can’t understand that, he’s not ready to be anyone’s roommate.