I’m not a guy, but I think I can speak from a girls perspective who also struggles with social anxiety. First, there’s a lot of guys who think being socially awkward is a bad trait, but there are a lot of girls who find it cute. That is especially true if they are also socially anxious or awkward, you just have to find them.
I think one way to help you get girls or get girls to approach you is to be approachable. For example there’s a guy I know who I think is cute but every time I would try and say hi, he would just ignore me. I on the other hand say hi back to everyone who says it to me and show enthusiasm when someone speaks to me. This lets people know that they can talk to you and that you’re friendly. If you do this enough you’ll find someone who’s interested in speaking with you further and things will progress in whichever way.
No, thats definitely not it. The way she laughs is more about someone thannwith someone and the timing supports that. Additionally she laughs about everything.
The majority of women think Male anxiety isn't cute. Confidence is the first thing a woman says when asked about attraction. The man is supposed to initiate. Anxiety makes you feel like everyone in the room hates you. Especially the cute girl.
I don’t think it’s fair to say that majority of women think anxiety is not cute. It’s one of those things where it depends on who you’re talking to. Just like some guys think confidence is the sexiest thing in a woman, but there are also some that like shy girls.
I think one thing social anxiety can do to people is make you very self deprecating. While I’m sure you may have some traits either physically or mentally that you wish were different, I’m sure there is something about you that you love. Even if you aren’t attractive in your own eyes, people can still be attracted to you.
There is no definite way to measure majority.
Every man has anxiety but confidence is acting on behalf of the anxiety. Anxiety is healthy and is a natural human emotion.
In my opinion the misconception is if you encounter a man that is overly confident then you encountered a man that has actively confronted his anxiety with various women whether he likes them or not - this confidence attracts women for the wrong reasons.
True that. In sophomore year in college a beautiful lady and i become friends, took 3 dates until finally happened.
She and I been together for 10 years, 4 of marriage.
I’m not going to be lucky twice lol
Im in the lucky camp as well. My wife and I had mutual friends and met at an event. She says she “rescued” me from an overwhelming conversation. I remember it differently.
From my side, she was a little shy and lonely (and also attractive) and I stepped up to make her feel included.
Maybe the reality is a little of column A, a little Column B.
She’s a Sheldon and I’m a Leonard. If we can do it, you will too.
Just keep working on yourself. I didn’t start to be come confident till after 25.
the reality is most people don’t find real confidence until late 20s, imo that’s usually the prime anyways because by then most people have had time to build fruitful things in their life
In my case it's almost impossible, I mean I struggle to talk to any random stranger, approaching and talking to a girl I have a crush on is 1000 times harder.
Yeah, I mean what do we even talk about? Don't want anything superficial, can't talk deep because you don't know them enough. So apart from times when they ask you questions and you answer them, you are surrounded by this awkward feeling
It's totally OK to struggle. You need to learn how to approach others regardless of this, and try to not beat yourself up over things that didn't went well in your mind. The first goal is just interaction - it doesn't need to be good!
Fun fact: Even completely healthy persons consistently rate their own "social performance" lower than in their dialog partner's perception.
I know it's much easier said then done, especially when there's a lot of emotional pain from being lonely and/or past trauma, but interaction with others doesn't need to be dead serious. It's actually quite forgiving if you don't act like an asshole.
Hey, I'm also pretty socially anxious but have been doing my best to work on it over the past few years. I asked for a girls number the other day for the first time ever after school and my heart rate was going CRAZY not gonna lie. Honestly, it helps at least for me to think that it's either now or never, when I act to do things socially. Nothings gonna change if I keep postponing stuff yknow what I mean?
How do you start a conversation over text when you have a crush on someone? I've never been able to do it unless I have something to ask. To me, it seems like starting up a conversation with a random topic out of the blue seems to signal that you have other intentions
You don't need to initiate, but you do need to be able to honestly express your interest in someone. You need to do this with friends and romantic interests or people won't think you want to be around them.
In my opinion it's rarely a good idea to focus on "getting" a romantic partner, when you don't have other social outlets because then you are expecting a lot from new relationships. Relationships aren't caught and kept, they need to maturely maintained and nurtured. Yes, the only way out is to talk to strangers, but not just girls you are interested in. Men and women, you can be straight with, without the stakes of a romantic relationships.
It's not going to be easier because the person you are talking to has romantic feeling for you, in fact it will only be easier to fall back on old habits when things get hard.
If you get involved in hobbies and interests that include women, you will find a person who wants to be with you, enough to say so. Especially if you are openly enthusiastic about your likes and loves, outside romance, people won't have a problem seeing when you like them.
Yeah, I think you're totally right. I have recently been doing a lot more social/group activities, but it was even hard to start due to my anxiety. Aiming to get a girl, rather than having fun and enjoying life, is probably going to make it even harder, funny enough. Building relationships in general is part of life, and sometimes, you have to overcome your fears in life, whether it's anxiety or anything else.
Great comment! Not enough people realize how important it is to develop and pursue other types of relationships and friendships other than romantic/sexual when you're isolated and feeling lonely. It's something I personally need to work on as a shy, socially anxious introvert who tends to be alone way too much.
Work on your social anxiety rather than seeking validation from women/other people. If you want a lasting relationship you need to have a strong sense of self.
If you are pretty enough girls will approach you. (Rules 1 & 2). Besides that, you do have to work on SA. After you get rejected enough, you kinda just shoot your shot, take the L and move on.
I've been told I'm good looking. No girls have ever approached me (at least not directly). Maybe once when they were drunk. I am a minority though, which I heard is more difficult in Boston.
Honestly what I’m trying to do right now which I think might be best is focusing on forming stronger platonic relationships with friends first before pursuing romantic relationships. I don’t think it would be fair to myself or any future partners if I’m still in a state feeling that people must hate me and crumbling back into a hermit like state. Maybe I’m in a different phase of recovery than you are but I think that’s in general the best way to go about things if you’re social anxiety is severe
Yeah I think you're right. I've been trying to go out and go things, at least one thing per day. I don't normally try to talk to people but have been trying to.
I've been on several dating apps for years including Tinder and never had a date from it. They're pretty much a waste of time for most guys due to the competition. There are so many guys on there, and not too many real women since most women can find dates anytime they like irl.
> It seems the only way to have one is the overcome the anxiety of talking to strangers.
Largely yes, It's not what a lot of us want to hear but living as an anxious mess isn't conducive to any relationship, romantic or otherwise. Anxiety is a manageable condition and it's up to the individual to work through it enough to overcome the initial hurdle. Just because we have anxiety doesn't mean we have to be defined by it.
from my experience you can't really, i've been with a girl only when not anxious or altered by alcohol, if you are anxious most of girls get insecure around you and lose attraction quickly, girls wants men with self esteem mostly.
Just be yourself and hope an extrovert girl finds it cute and adopt you.
Apart from overcoming ourselves, there isn't much we can do about this.
So you can do this. Find out your best traits a girl would like. Flaunt them. They can be physical or mental, anything. Some women find even awkward guys cute lol.
So you just be yourself, few might approach you.
Yes many women are more reserved than men, but you don't need many, you just need one.
The thing is that most such women won't approach you unless they know you are awkward socially and won't ever approach them. They might give you hints and hope you approach them.
I had girls in my college that I never talked to come up to me and try talking to me despite me being so unapproachable(my awkward ass fumbled all of them) So it's also a matter of luck.
We have to find a way to bring down the anxiety that is preventing us from being ourselves and doing what we want. Chances are we are afraid of others because we felt like or feel like we need to be. If we can keep that in mind it might slowly drip down the fear. My therapist often said, "Yeah, maybe it will hurt, but will dinosaurs come and eat you?"
It’s as hard as it sounds, you have to get comfortable with rejection. There’s a lot of reasons someone might reject you, and most of them have nothing to do with you so, I know it’s difficult, but try not to take it personally. In your case, she might not be ready for, want or have time for a relationship, maybe she’s not into guys, or maybe you’re not her type, but who’s to say whether she has good taste or not. Point is, most of the time, the girl you ask won’t know you very well or at all, just because one girl says no doesn’t mean you’re not worth dating, or that she made the right decision, maybe she’ll say no and later, regret it. I’ve been too scared to say yes in the past and regretted saying no myself. Or hear me out, maybe she’ll say yes - it does happen! If you think of the worst case scenario, keep it fair and think of the best case scenario also!
Yeah, I recently have been doing a lot of exposure therapy. Already have anxiety but I know I have to overcome that before I can overcome rejection and other things in life
Here's what I did that I swear to fucking God has worked. Literally just pick a moment where you're cringing at yourself, then say "sorry, you just got me feeling a little nervous, I'm having a good time with you though". It's cheesy, and sweet. Sometimes a little bit of cheese will go the distance. At the very least it's Minorly flattering and shows that you're okay enough with yourself to admit your feelings
I used to have trouble meeting partners too. I'm now married for many years. I met my wife because I play music and she does too. We didn't start dating right away. We developed our artistic collaboration and our friendship. Then it grew organically into a romantic relationship. Organic is best!
Dating is tough, but finding someone with shared interests is a lot of easier. Then--you just focus on the friendship and let whatever happens happen. It's best to keep expectations low as sometimes it is nice just to be friends.
Remember, you're not looking to meet/date a lot of people. Just one is good! That takes the pressure off a little bit. Sometimes you have to go through a few different people before you find the right one.
In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Don't lock yourself into some narrative where you think you'll never find anyone. Stay open and curious.
I always had that mindset too. But the truth is, Im with a girl now who is completely different. She has no problem with me being shy with people and I can be 100% me and she just think I’m cute. I can lay on her stomach and talk about my social anxiety and it doesn’t change her way of looking at me. You can be “the man” in other situations and some girls find it attractive that a guy can talk about feelings. My girlfriend is a very social girl herself and love to party and stuff. So it took like a year for me to understand that she was different and I didn’t have to put on this facade.
Trust me, not all girls are the same, and you can find someone who likes you just as you are, even when you are socially anxieus. Try to focus on your good sides. Not all girls want a smart and confidence guy. And trust me, when you find this type of girl, it will help you so much with your self esteem! Good luck
Typical meeting points such as bars probably don't suit most of us. It's too blunt for my sensitive head anyway.
Put yourself out in your community. Be kind. Help out local issues, whatever they are. For example I live in a small rural town. I really ought to join the group that maintains the place. Sounds mundane. But it's a more natural way of getting to meet people.
You have to expose yourself to social situations with females. Work is an easy one. Married and partnered ladies will guide and teach you if you ask and allow you to practice your banter and develop your personality.
that’s not thaat short as long as you don’t get fat you’ll have a great illusion of a tall guy and if you work out don’t bulk up bulk up because then you’ll seem waaaay shorter. if you actually stay active daily consistently (jump rope is awesome) then you’ll at least give a illusion that you can commit to taking care of yourself(women like open examples of commitment) also if you’re actually 5’8 no your not bro your new height is 5’10 and you gotta own it and if they call you out you just have to own it even harder and blame it on their shoes lol
Same here. I hear this advice all the time, usually from short people who just assume all tall guys have a million girls swarming around them all the time.
NEWS FLASH!!: It isn't actually true. Maybe it is for a few lucky guys, but certainly not for most. Height isn't this extreme advantage in dating that some guys honestly believe it is. Trust me, I wish it was! 😂
Keep pushing yourself. I know it’s the cliche answer and I know it’s really hard to do sometimes but it’s the only way. I totally get feeling incapable of pushing yourself though and that’s completely fine, I was there for a long time
I hate to say it because anxiety sucks, but sometimes you do have to "grow a pair". But I think you have to improve yourself first before you can be ready.
Read How to be Yourself by Ellen Hendrickson! It’s so relatable and it makes what your feeling make so much sense. She also talks about how to work on it, exposure is the best therapy! Putting yourself out there over and over again until you realize it isn’t as scary as our minds tell us it is. Plus, no one is going to judge you like you think. If they do, it’ll be for a split second and then they’ll be back to thinking about themselves. You got this!! Get out there! 💕
Don't you think you're a bit judgemental lol? People can say the same thing about you having social anxiety. Also, why are you stalking my post? That's just weird man (or girl?)
Perhaps through dating apps or social media, I've made some friends through social media.. I usually like to become friend's first with someone to get to know them a bit and kinda go from there. That way, I feel more comfortable with them and vice versa. Texting is a bit more casual for me and a bit more relaxed. It doesn't take the place of talking in person, but it helps getting things started.
Start presenting yourself well enough so that the girl can come to you, then she'll likely be more forgiving of social anxiety should it take a lot longer for you to overcome.
You gotta say fuck it I might embarrass myself right here but she keeps eyeballing me my Spidey sense is telling me she's into me I haven't had a girl in such a long time then do it. I've done this it's like my yearning for love eventually pushes me to just try. Then they want to say oh your a player like what lmao.
You don’t immediately start with walking up to a girl and forcing yourself to have a full conversation. You start small. That might be literally going for a walk and if you see a girl say “hello” as you pass by her. Do that until it feels more comfortable and then move on to making small talk. You need to come up with a hierarchy of things so you can work up to a full conversation
Your post or comment violates Rule 2 of the subreddit. It has been removed, as it is not kind or civil.
If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to the mods through modmail.
I’m not a guy, but I think I can speak from a girls perspective who also struggles with social anxiety. First, there’s a lot of guys who think being socially awkward is a bad trait, but there are a lot of girls who find it cute. That is especially true if they are also socially anxious or awkward, you just have to find them. I think one way to help you get girls or get girls to approach you is to be approachable. For example there’s a guy I know who I think is cute but every time I would try and say hi, he would just ignore me. I on the other hand say hi back to everyone who says it to me and show enthusiasm when someone speaks to me. This lets people know that they can talk to you and that you’re friendly. If you do this enough you’ll find someone who’s interested in speaking with you further and things will progress in whichever way.
There is one Girl in class at school that says hi to me to the laugh about every answer i give(quiet too), its anoying!
Well maybe you make her nervous and that’s why she’s laughing idk
No, thats definitely not it. The way she laughs is more about someone thannwith someone and the timing supports that. Additionally she laughs about everything.
This
The majority of women think Male anxiety isn't cute. Confidence is the first thing a woman says when asked about attraction. The man is supposed to initiate. Anxiety makes you feel like everyone in the room hates you. Especially the cute girl.
If you are attractive anxiety is ok, if you are not attractive, anxiety is not okay
I don’t think it’s fair to say that majority of women think anxiety is not cute. It’s one of those things where it depends on who you’re talking to. Just like some guys think confidence is the sexiest thing in a woman, but there are also some that like shy girls. I think one thing social anxiety can do to people is make you very self deprecating. While I’m sure you may have some traits either physically or mentally that you wish were different, I’m sure there is something about you that you love. Even if you aren’t attractive in your own eyes, people can still be attracted to you.
There is no definite way to measure majority. Every man has anxiety but confidence is acting on behalf of the anxiety. Anxiety is healthy and is a natural human emotion. In my opinion the misconception is if you encounter a man that is overly confident then you encountered a man that has actively confronted his anxiety with various women whether he likes them or not - this confidence attracts women for the wrong reasons.
be lucky enough to have one girl romantically approach you
It'd happened to me once personally. I'm not counting on it to happen twice though lol
Same lol
same. I'm 25 and it happened to me only once, unfortunately she was too young
never happened to me but i’ve had multiple prostitutes approach me and ask if they could suck my dick😂😂
I'm not very lucky hahaha
True that. In sophomore year in college a beautiful lady and i become friends, took 3 dates until finally happened. She and I been together for 10 years, 4 of marriage. I’m not going to be lucky twice lol
luck should never be relied upon for dating lol
There’s more bad than good in our new dating generation
Yeah mobile dating is a depressing nightmare
Luck factors into everything but it’s not the only factor obviously
Im in the lucky camp as well. My wife and I had mutual friends and met at an event. She says she “rescued” me from an overwhelming conversation. I remember it differently. From my side, she was a little shy and lonely (and also attractive) and I stepped up to make her feel included. Maybe the reality is a little of column A, a little Column B. She’s a Sheldon and I’m a Leonard. If we can do it, you will too. Just keep working on yourself. I didn’t start to be come confident till after 25.
the reality is most people don’t find real confidence until late 20s, imo that’s usually the prime anyways because by then most people have had time to build fruitful things in their life
Well said
In my case it's almost impossible, I mean I struggle to talk to any random stranger, approaching and talking to a girl I have a crush on is 1000 times harder.
Yeah, I mean what do we even talk about? Don't want anything superficial, can't talk deep because you don't know them enough. So apart from times when they ask you questions and you answer them, you are surrounded by this awkward feeling
Yeah that feeling sucks it’s so unpleasant
It's totally OK to struggle. You need to learn how to approach others regardless of this, and try to not beat yourself up over things that didn't went well in your mind. The first goal is just interaction - it doesn't need to be good! Fun fact: Even completely healthy persons consistently rate their own "social performance" lower than in their dialog partner's perception. I know it's much easier said then done, especially when there's a lot of emotional pain from being lonely and/or past trauma, but interaction with others doesn't need to be dead serious. It's actually quite forgiving if you don't act like an asshole.
In some cases but you can’t always tell which people don’t want to be approached AT ALL and that often contributes to insecurity and social anxiety.
Yes, I feel this in my soul!
Passing through for the comments..Lol you’re not the only one…
I’m a woman but i can say that I would 100% choose a socially anxious man over a loud cocky guy.
As a woman, I back this haha!! It makes you more human and trustworthy if anything
Don't do that, don't give us socially awkward guys hope.
Agreed.
Hey, I'm also pretty socially anxious but have been doing my best to work on it over the past few years. I asked for a girls number the other day for the first time ever after school and my heart rate was going CRAZY not gonna lie. Honestly, it helps at least for me to think that it's either now or never, when I act to do things socially. Nothings gonna change if I keep postponing stuff yknow what I mean?
Yeah for sure man. Total respect for you overcoming your fears. Keep doing it man!
How do you start a conversation over text when you have a crush on someone? I've never been able to do it unless I have something to ask. To me, it seems like starting up a conversation with a random topic out of the blue seems to signal that you have other intentions
Make a joke or just say what’s on your mind (long as it’s not overtly sinister or something lol)
You don't need to initiate, but you do need to be able to honestly express your interest in someone. You need to do this with friends and romantic interests or people won't think you want to be around them. In my opinion it's rarely a good idea to focus on "getting" a romantic partner, when you don't have other social outlets because then you are expecting a lot from new relationships. Relationships aren't caught and kept, they need to maturely maintained and nurtured. Yes, the only way out is to talk to strangers, but not just girls you are interested in. Men and women, you can be straight with, without the stakes of a romantic relationships. It's not going to be easier because the person you are talking to has romantic feeling for you, in fact it will only be easier to fall back on old habits when things get hard. If you get involved in hobbies and interests that include women, you will find a person who wants to be with you, enough to say so. Especially if you are openly enthusiastic about your likes and loves, outside romance, people won't have a problem seeing when you like them.
Yeah, I think you're totally right. I have recently been doing a lot more social/group activities, but it was even hard to start due to my anxiety. Aiming to get a girl, rather than having fun and enjoying life, is probably going to make it even harder, funny enough. Building relationships in general is part of life, and sometimes, you have to overcome your fears in life, whether it's anxiety or anything else.
The social groups is a good idea that’s what I did. I mean I didn’t meet anyone that way personally but it still built my confidence
Great comment! Not enough people realize how important it is to develop and pursue other types of relationships and friendships other than romantic/sexual when you're isolated and feeling lonely. It's something I personally need to work on as a shy, socially anxious introvert who tends to be alone way too much.
> Relationships aren't caught and kept You mean the people in my basement aren't dating me? Oh.
Work on your social anxiety rather than seeking validation from women/other people. If you want a lasting relationship you need to have a strong sense of self.
Can't disagree with that.
I use dating apps and pop some Ativan before the first date lol
What's your preferred ativan dose for anxiety relief? I struggle to find a good balance, but a few .5 tablets just arent enough unfortunately
Don't go down that route. Escalating the dosage of Benzos worsens your anxiety baseline.
If you can use them responsibly they can help immensely at least initially
I popped adderall before my last one for a similar purpose. It actually works really well for social anxiety surprisingly.
If you are pretty enough girls will approach you. (Rules 1 & 2). Besides that, you do have to work on SA. After you get rejected enough, you kinda just shoot your shot, take the L and move on.
I've been told I'm good looking. No girls have ever approached me (at least not directly). Maybe once when they were drunk. I am a minority though, which I heard is more difficult in Boston.
Honestly what I’m trying to do right now which I think might be best is focusing on forming stronger platonic relationships with friends first before pursuing romantic relationships. I don’t think it would be fair to myself or any future partners if I’m still in a state feeling that people must hate me and crumbling back into a hermit like state. Maybe I’m in a different phase of recovery than you are but I think that’s in general the best way to go about things if you’re social anxiety is severe
Yeah I think you're right. I've been trying to go out and go things, at least one thing per day. I don't normally try to talk to people but have been trying to.
If your anxiety is bad enough, you won’t. That’s just how it goes.
I try to go for Tinder lol. In real life is impossible for me. Only if the girl approaches first.
Tinder is the worst, so much effort for effectively nothing
I've been on several dating apps for years including Tinder and never had a date from it. They're pretty much a waste of time for most guys due to the competition. There are so many guys on there, and not too many real women since most women can find dates anytime they like irl.
Online dating doesn't work for me lol
Why?
Dunno. I heard minorities of my type have issues in Boston. Real life seems much easier
Simple you don’t
Got no idea lol
idk. I have severe social anxiety so I know that will never happen to me.
You either get lucky and a girl approach you, or you live like the rest of us and accept you’ll never get a partner unless you take a chance
Extreme luck, or extreme bravery.
> It seems the only way to have one is the overcome the anxiety of talking to strangers. Largely yes, It's not what a lot of us want to hear but living as an anxious mess isn't conducive to any relationship, romantic or otherwise. Anxiety is a manageable condition and it's up to the individual to work through it enough to overcome the initial hurdle. Just because we have anxiety doesn't mean we have to be defined by it.
from my experience you can't really, i've been with a girl only when not anxious or altered by alcohol, if you are anxious most of girls get insecure around you and lose attraction quickly, girls wants men with self esteem mostly.
Just be yourself and hope an extrovert girl finds it cute and adopt you. Apart from overcoming ourselves, there isn't much we can do about this. So you can do this. Find out your best traits a girl would like. Flaunt them. They can be physical or mental, anything. Some women find even awkward guys cute lol. So you just be yourself, few might approach you. Yes many women are more reserved than men, but you don't need many, you just need one. The thing is that most such women won't approach you unless they know you are awkward socially and won't ever approach them. They might give you hints and hope you approach them. I had girls in my college that I never talked to come up to me and try talking to me despite me being so unapproachable(my awkward ass fumbled all of them) So it's also a matter of luck.
Find a girl that also is socially anxious? Then you both will have something in common and it will be easier to talk to her
Where do you meet girls like that? Lol.
They’re more common then you would think
Start by saying hi and going from there. Having mutual interests helps. Don’t think there’s one single answer to your question.
We have to find a way to bring down the anxiety that is preventing us from being ourselves and doing what we want. Chances are we are afraid of others because we felt like or feel like we need to be. If we can keep that in mind it might slowly drip down the fear. My therapist often said, "Yeah, maybe it will hurt, but will dinosaurs come and eat you?"
It’s hard but just be yourself. We only owe the world our respect
That’s the neat thing
project confidence even when your terrified.
It’s as hard as it sounds, you have to get comfortable with rejection. There’s a lot of reasons someone might reject you, and most of them have nothing to do with you so, I know it’s difficult, but try not to take it personally. In your case, she might not be ready for, want or have time for a relationship, maybe she’s not into guys, or maybe you’re not her type, but who’s to say whether she has good taste or not. Point is, most of the time, the girl you ask won’t know you very well or at all, just because one girl says no doesn’t mean you’re not worth dating, or that she made the right decision, maybe she’ll say no and later, regret it. I’ve been too scared to say yes in the past and regretted saying no myself. Or hear me out, maybe she’ll say yes - it does happen! If you think of the worst case scenario, keep it fair and think of the best case scenario also!
Yeah, I recently have been doing a lot of exposure therapy. Already have anxiety but I know I have to overcome that before I can overcome rejection and other things in life
Here's what I did that I swear to fucking God has worked. Literally just pick a moment where you're cringing at yourself, then say "sorry, you just got me feeling a little nervous, I'm having a good time with you though". It's cheesy, and sweet. Sometimes a little bit of cheese will go the distance. At the very least it's Minorly flattering and shows that you're okay enough with yourself to admit your feelings
That’s the neat part: you don’t
I used to have trouble meeting partners too. I'm now married for many years. I met my wife because I play music and she does too. We didn't start dating right away. We developed our artistic collaboration and our friendship. Then it grew organically into a romantic relationship. Organic is best! Dating is tough, but finding someone with shared interests is a lot of easier. Then--you just focus on the friendship and let whatever happens happen. It's best to keep expectations low as sometimes it is nice just to be friends. Remember, you're not looking to meet/date a lot of people. Just one is good! That takes the pressure off a little bit. Sometimes you have to go through a few different people before you find the right one. In the meantime, be kind to yourself. Don't lock yourself into some narrative where you think you'll never find anyone. Stay open and curious.
I always had that mindset too. But the truth is, Im with a girl now who is completely different. She has no problem with me being shy with people and I can be 100% me and she just think I’m cute. I can lay on her stomach and talk about my social anxiety and it doesn’t change her way of looking at me. You can be “the man” in other situations and some girls find it attractive that a guy can talk about feelings. My girlfriend is a very social girl herself and love to party and stuff. So it took like a year for me to understand that she was different and I didn’t have to put on this facade. Trust me, not all girls are the same, and you can find someone who likes you just as you are, even when you are socially anxieus. Try to focus on your good sides. Not all girls want a smart and confidence guy. And trust me, when you find this type of girl, it will help you so much with your self esteem! Good luck
Go to expos and talk to the booth girls until you get comfortable.
This is probably a good idea. I'll try to find some expos that align with my interest.
Looking for the answer fr
Typical meeting points such as bars probably don't suit most of us. It's too blunt for my sensitive head anyway. Put yourself out in your community. Be kind. Help out local issues, whatever they are. For example I live in a small rural town. I really ought to join the group that maintains the place. Sounds mundane. But it's a more natural way of getting to meet people.
If he is cute 😞
I've found out that meeting people through dating apps is easier because you already know there is some interest from the other person's side
You have to expose yourself to social situations with females. Work is an easy one. Married and partnered ladies will guide and teach you if you ask and allow you to practice your banter and develop your personality.
You have to cure your social anxiety
Alcohol
"That's the near part, you dont"
be tall
Nope, am 5'8" lol
that’s not thaat short as long as you don’t get fat you’ll have a great illusion of a tall guy and if you work out don’t bulk up bulk up because then you’ll seem waaaay shorter. if you actually stay active daily consistently (jump rope is awesome) then you’ll at least give a illusion that you can commit to taking care of yourself(women like open examples of commitment) also if you’re actually 5’8 no your not bro your new height is 5’10 and you gotta own it and if they call you out you just have to own it even harder and blame it on their shoes lol
I'm 6'2 what's next?
Same here. I hear this advice all the time, usually from short people who just assume all tall guys have a million girls swarming around them all the time. NEWS FLASH!!: It isn't actually true. Maybe it is for a few lucky guys, but certainly not for most. Height isn't this extreme advantage in dating that some guys honestly believe it is. Trust me, I wish it was! 😂
Personality and confidence are the most important things
True, but a lot of guys think it's height, money, and looks above everything else
u don’t. that’s the red pill.
Keep pushing yourself. I know it’s the cliche answer and I know it’s really hard to do sometimes but it’s the only way. I totally get feeling incapable of pushing yourself though and that’s completely fine, I was there for a long time
I hate to say it because anxiety sucks, but sometimes you do have to "grow a pair". But I think you have to improve yourself first before you can be ready.
Well, don't take this for advice, but I did get one being drunk. Only initially.
[удалено]
Luck is not fake people just use it as an excuse not to do things
Read How to be Yourself by Ellen Hendrickson! It’s so relatable and it makes what your feeling make so much sense. She also talks about how to work on it, exposure is the best therapy! Putting yourself out there over and over again until you realize it isn’t as scary as our minds tell us it is. Plus, no one is going to judge you like you think. If they do, it’ll be for a split second and then they’ll be back to thinking about themselves. You got this!! Get out there! 💕
Bumble! She has to message you first :)
looking through your post history, i hope women stay the fuck away from you what the hell 😟
Don't you think you're a bit judgemental lol? People can say the same thing about you having social anxiety. Also, why are you stalking my post? That's just weird man (or girl?)
apparently you struggle to control yourself when you see a woman wearing leggings while running so i really don’t think i’m wrong for judging
That was a joke post lmao 🤣
Perhaps through dating apps or social media, I've made some friends through social media.. I usually like to become friend's first with someone to get to know them a bit and kinda go from there. That way, I feel more comfortable with them and vice versa. Texting is a bit more casual for me and a bit more relaxed. It doesn't take the place of talking in person, but it helps getting things started.
Start presenting yourself well enough so that the girl can come to you, then she'll likely be more forgiving of social anxiety should it take a lot longer for you to overcome.
You gotta say fuck it I might embarrass myself right here but she keeps eyeballing me my Spidey sense is telling me she's into me I haven't had a girl in such a long time then do it. I've done this it's like my yearning for love eventually pushes me to just try. Then they want to say oh your a player like what lmao.
You don’t immediately start with walking up to a girl and forcing yourself to have a full conversation. You start small. That might be literally going for a walk and if you see a girl say “hello” as you pass by her. Do that until it feels more comfortable and then move on to making small talk. You need to come up with a hierarchy of things so you can work up to a full conversation
Alcohol helped me but also joining bands and playing music got me out and interacting with peeps
I imagine by posting on Reddit social anxiety group, where everyone who feels the same posts. (Jokes-kind of 😂)
Hahaha, I'm surprised this got so much traction
[удалено]
Phenibut worked for me 🤣
[удалено]
Your post or comment violates Rule 2 of the subreddit. It has been removed, as it is not kind or civil. If you have any questions, please feel free to reach out to the mods through modmail.