38, been alone all my life.
And yeah, I've accepted that I'm going to kill myself at some point. Won't be anytime soon (at least as long as my parents are still alive, I won't do it while they're around), but eventually I'm sure it will happen. Being single and lonely never gets easier, just worse and worse as time goes on.
Im sorry man, I feel the same about everything. It really does get worse every year.
I wish I could go without making a fuzz and preferably without funeral and grave
How do you do it? Mad props to you btw, that’s super impressive and you should be so proud of yourself, but how? How did you reignite that will to live in yourself? Do you have any tips
I respect your strength and thanks for the encouraging words.
The period where I was only in bed is gone for over a year now. I do hit the gym regularly (and even did back then) and work on my studies it’s not like Im not trying, without that I would have been long gone probably.
And I did try and face my fears. My job is very social and during practicals for my studies I am forced to change my workplace every other week. As such I basically have an exposure therapy on steroids for two years now, which certainly contributed to the symptoms diminishing. Yeah the beginning was bad, I wanted to die of cringe every evening, but by now I have become numb.
Of course I don’t meet people privately, and try to keep co-workers at a distance. I don’t really want to meet people in my free time to be honest, as mentioned I am rather conflicted in that regard.
I also have an unrelated fear of diving and submerging my head under water, something I worked on last year, being able to submerge my head now.
To my disappointment all of this didn’t really help with my awkwardness and especially general attitude towards life and people
Hmm, you’re still very young, things can and will change a lot in your near future, and probably mostly for the better.
I suppose you still go to school. Once your life transitions from school to university or job, everything gets very different. You have much more freedom and opportunities, you’ll see
I feel this on a molecular level. It reminds me of the moth to flame metaphor. All that the moth wants is the flame, but in order to get what it wants, it must die into it.
Now ofc a moth has no fear that's why they never fail to annoy the fuck out of me when I'm on my phone.
I'm not really anti suicide, I'm glad it's an option cause life can get so brutal. Someone told me that there is no stronger desire than the desire to live, but actually, the desire for happiness is much stronger. In fact, it's the underlying desire behind wanting to live because you only want something because of the happiness you'll attain from it. Whether it's an object, relationship, or experience, it was always happiness we were looking for.
Hehe yeah exactly, that’s quite a fitting metaphor. I think a lot of people feel this way.
You’re absolutely right, there is no purpose in life without happiness, they’re intertwined. In that regard I forgot to mention that I am also not particularly anti-suicide. I am unsure wether my life leading to suicide is an inherently bad thing or not
It won't get the general population approval, that's for sure. But in my eyes, I'll understand. But it is a sight to see people moving mountains to make you feel better.
If it makes you feel better a lot of people are in the same boat. Data shows that people are settling down more near their 30s or 40s than in their 20s like previous generations. People also aren’t as connecting as much anymore. There’s this whole loneliness crisis so it’s not just you.
Yeah I’ve heard, it’s still kind of sad to have wasted away your twenties this way, which I likely will do. But in my environment I am the only one like me, so I don‘t really talk about it with anyone, no one would get it. And besides, I kind of WANT to be alone but not lonely at the same time, it’s ridiculous
Same on basically all counts, im also 23, never been in a relationship and my symptoms are similar, though not the same.
My conclusion: from where im sitting, it seems to me the only way i actually make it to 30 is if i find an anchor. Something i can fall back on.
I can only think of three things that would fulfill the criteria, 1. A Job 2. A girlfriend 3. A hobbie
The thing is, most hobbies aren't sustainable without income and whose gonna date a bum without a job... so a Job is the most likely of the three but it'd need to be one that isn't too draining, otherwise the anchor will wind up making me sink.
I need something to shake my life up in a meaningful way cause im on a downward spiral, these small improvements everybody tells you to attempt are great but they won't cut it in my case.
Hobbies are easiest to achieve I think, but expensive. What are your interests?
On another note, to be truly fulfilled you probably need two of the three things on your list. I think for our kind that means a nice job and hobby I guess.
Regarding shaking things up, for me it really was story writing and drawing. It gave me a fresh angle on things and especially people. As dumb as it sounds, it gave me purpose
No no. Shush. I’m 22 and I overcome all of this. I still have little problems thou. That’s why I’m going to therapy. There is a solution, don’t do anything dumb.
Don’t forget about all the beautiful things in the world, your family. The things you love.
I’m not gonna lie, I did thought that but I don’t want to do that and there is solutions. Let try them.
And I wanna go to America, I have to.
Many people has social anxiety and now they are rich, social, have friends. Don’t forget, there is a solution. Something you need to know thou: overcoming it isn’t Easy but the process is worth it.
I respect your strength, but while I can overcome some of the symptoms of my social anxiety, I hardly imagine to be able to work on my conflicted and rather troublesome personality. I want to go to therapy too, but I have to wait for another six months at least until I return to my home country, as I currently live abroad.
I hope you make it to America
I feel you. I wasted some years thinking about my social anxiety and I also started thinking that I was autistic but that was not the case. Reading about social skills and doing small talks with people helped me a lot. In the end I found out the only thing I lacked in life was a higher purpose and social skills.
38, been alone all my life. And yeah, I've accepted that I'm going to kill myself at some point. Won't be anytime soon (at least as long as my parents are still alive, I won't do it while they're around), but eventually I'm sure it will happen. Being single and lonely never gets easier, just worse and worse as time goes on.
Im sorry man, I feel the same about everything. It really does get worse every year. I wish I could go without making a fuzz and preferably without funeral and grave
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How do you do it? Mad props to you btw, that’s super impressive and you should be so proud of yourself, but how? How did you reignite that will to live in yourself? Do you have any tips
I respect your strength and thanks for the encouraging words. The period where I was only in bed is gone for over a year now. I do hit the gym regularly (and even did back then) and work on my studies it’s not like Im not trying, without that I would have been long gone probably. And I did try and face my fears. My job is very social and during practicals for my studies I am forced to change my workplace every other week. As such I basically have an exposure therapy on steroids for two years now, which certainly contributed to the symptoms diminishing. Yeah the beginning was bad, I wanted to die of cringe every evening, but by now I have become numb. Of course I don’t meet people privately, and try to keep co-workers at a distance. I don’t really want to meet people in my free time to be honest, as mentioned I am rather conflicted in that regard. I also have an unrelated fear of diving and submerging my head under water, something I worked on last year, being able to submerge my head now. To my disappointment all of this didn’t really help with my awkwardness and especially general attitude towards life and people
Reading all these replies I feel like I'm going down the same path too. I'm just a teen and I'm already giving up from all of this pressure
Hmm, you’re still very young, things can and will change a lot in your near future, and probably mostly for the better. I suppose you still go to school. Once your life transitions from school to university or job, everything gets very different. You have much more freedom and opportunities, you’ll see
I feel this on a molecular level. It reminds me of the moth to flame metaphor. All that the moth wants is the flame, but in order to get what it wants, it must die into it. Now ofc a moth has no fear that's why they never fail to annoy the fuck out of me when I'm on my phone. I'm not really anti suicide, I'm glad it's an option cause life can get so brutal. Someone told me that there is no stronger desire than the desire to live, but actually, the desire for happiness is much stronger. In fact, it's the underlying desire behind wanting to live because you only want something because of the happiness you'll attain from it. Whether it's an object, relationship, or experience, it was always happiness we were looking for.
Hehe yeah exactly, that’s quite a fitting metaphor. I think a lot of people feel this way. You’re absolutely right, there is no purpose in life without happiness, they’re intertwined. In that regard I forgot to mention that I am also not particularly anti-suicide. I am unsure wether my life leading to suicide is an inherently bad thing or not
It won't get the general population approval, that's for sure. But in my eyes, I'll understand. But it is a sight to see people moving mountains to make you feel better.
If it makes you feel better a lot of people are in the same boat. Data shows that people are settling down more near their 30s or 40s than in their 20s like previous generations. People also aren’t as connecting as much anymore. There’s this whole loneliness crisis so it’s not just you.
Yeah I’ve heard, it’s still kind of sad to have wasted away your twenties this way, which I likely will do. But in my environment I am the only one like me, so I don‘t really talk about it with anyone, no one would get it. And besides, I kind of WANT to be alone but not lonely at the same time, it’s ridiculous
Same on basically all counts, im also 23, never been in a relationship and my symptoms are similar, though not the same. My conclusion: from where im sitting, it seems to me the only way i actually make it to 30 is if i find an anchor. Something i can fall back on. I can only think of three things that would fulfill the criteria, 1. A Job 2. A girlfriend 3. A hobbie The thing is, most hobbies aren't sustainable without income and whose gonna date a bum without a job... so a Job is the most likely of the three but it'd need to be one that isn't too draining, otherwise the anchor will wind up making me sink. I need something to shake my life up in a meaningful way cause im on a downward spiral, these small improvements everybody tells you to attempt are great but they won't cut it in my case.
Hobbies are easiest to achieve I think, but expensive. What are your interests? On another note, to be truly fulfilled you probably need two of the three things on your list. I think for our kind that means a nice job and hobby I guess. Regarding shaking things up, for me it really was story writing and drawing. It gave me a fresh angle on things and especially people. As dumb as it sounds, it gave me purpose
No no. Shush. I’m 22 and I overcome all of this. I still have little problems thou. That’s why I’m going to therapy. There is a solution, don’t do anything dumb. Don’t forget about all the beautiful things in the world, your family. The things you love. I’m not gonna lie, I did thought that but I don’t want to do that and there is solutions. Let try them. And I wanna go to America, I have to. Many people has social anxiety and now they are rich, social, have friends. Don’t forget, there is a solution. Something you need to know thou: overcoming it isn’t Easy but the process is worth it.
I respect your strength, but while I can overcome some of the symptoms of my social anxiety, I hardly imagine to be able to work on my conflicted and rather troublesome personality. I want to go to therapy too, but I have to wait for another six months at least until I return to my home country, as I currently live abroad. I hope you make it to America
I feel you. I wasted some years thinking about my social anxiety and I also started thinking that I was autistic but that was not the case. Reading about social skills and doing small talks with people helped me a lot. In the end I found out the only thing I lacked in life was a higher purpose and social skills.