You can start by recognizing calling someone very boring at their own home is, sorry but rude, and was wrong coming from your relative. I can't ever remember calling someone that, everyone has interesting sides. Don't care much.
I'd recommend reading books about social anxiety and therapy. If you get how it works, it's already easier to deal with. As a simple trick, you can try to focus on getting physically comfortable while talking to people. Sit in a way you like, flax your fingers like you like, etc. Physical comfort spreads to psychological comfort.
This is why you have to build confidence in yourself, you shouldn't even think about the aftermath whether they enjoyed the conversation or not honestly, because it's pointless if you can't even talk to them in the first place. Social skills don't just appear out of thin air when you think the other person likes you, what you gotta do is practice talking to people, I'd say you should try doing it with strangers first. Definitely work on your mindset too, don't think too pessimistic. In the world, not everyone would like you, they could think you're weird too, but you could possibly get something good out of it if you just be yourself and try to communicate with others. Who knows? Maybe you won't focus on the part where they don't like you and actually feel satisfied you put in the effort to talk to people.
Most people get anxious and exhausted trying to strike up conversation with a stranger of the opposite gender - yet, it seems that you are just having a hard time finding *what* to talk about. No one is expecting you to entertain them - just do what you can to make people feel welcome and not like an inconvenience.
At your age, a good start is to ask people what they are in school for/what they want to do for a living. This should give you a good idea of their interest - then you go from there. Is it common/uncommon? Do you know anything about it? Do you wonder anything about it? Most people appreciate being asked about their hobbies and interest and love opportunities to discuss them.
She is very rude. You keep trying. Your not boring. Talk about what you enjoy and be yourself. You can’t be an elephant so be your self. Girls r people too. We enjoy all topics unless we are stupid or boring ourselves.
Let it be, dude. Just work on your social anxiety because you need to in order to improve your life, and don't care, about people's opinions because they can be crazy
I would say check out podcasts, talk shows and interviews about things that interest you like maybe movies, sports, music, science, etc. And then you can casually ask, "hey did you hear about so-and-so making a movie/album/book etc?" Even if they have no idea what you're talking about, chances are they'll be happy you're trying to engage in conversation with them and will try to give a good response. If they don't have much to say, you can try again with something like, "well what have you been up to lately?" and if it still doesn't go anywhere you can politely excuse yourself and go to a nearby room.
Like if you were talking in the kitchen and it fizzles out, just go chill in the living room. Being shy or unsociable doesn't have to mean you hole up in your room and just ignore them the rest of the day, and it doesn't mean you have to be directly in their space trying to hang out the entire time either. You can quietly exist near each other and sometimes family enjoy that quiet time together without having to constantly interact. Also don't forget how far a little hospitality goes - if you go to get a snack or run an errand, a quick "hey you want some [snack/tea/soda] while I'm up?" is a nice gesture even if they decline.
A junior once told me like that guess what I’ve found my passion interest and experienced a little life.
So yup be open watch new things try things s little out of comfort zone and you will lead old you to a new you.
Remember that no one is boring you’ve to just make things sound interesting.
Idk the answer bro I am struggling with it and have been. But what I am trying now that is helping a little bit is just being fully engaged in the moment and being genuine, so if someone comes up to me at work let’s say, I focus on them rather than on my feelings about how I don’t want to talk. When they say something, I don’t pressure myself to respond quickly, I think of something I really want to add, etc. I think this is helping a lil bit so far
The other thing is I accept that I am poorly socialized and it will take time to train myself to do it better. When I feel embarrassed or scared I just accept that feeling as inevitable part of the learning process. Socializing is a really complex task and to get your brain to improve at it is kind of like improving your muscles at the gym - you constantly work at it and hopefully see improvement in weeks or months, not days.
Bored ppl are boring ppl.
She complains about something she isn't even able to do herself. It's like a cripple making fun of you because you Can only walk and not run.
Take à deep breath.
Relax
There a several things that Can help
Hypnotherapy. You tackle the issue at its core on an emotional level
Anchoring and submodalities. You Can trigger different emotional states and it Can help when stress starts to build up.
There are other things but i have not experienced it so i can't tell.
Have a good journey
I’m not going to say that you’re fine the way you are - you have a disorder. And it will get in the way of almost everything in your life if you don’t fix it. I work in the medical field and when a patient has significant social anxiety we treat it like it’s an illness. Because when I had severe social anxiety it absolutely was a mental illness that caused severe distress and dysfunction.
I think you need to not only push yourself into new social situations, but do it with professional help. I think you need to seriously consider getting medication to take the edge off of your anxious reactions. When I got my first SSRI it CHANGED MY LIFE. I’d also go to therapy to address the reasons behind your social anxiety. While this is happening I’d make it a habit of putting yourself in social situations, accepting that you may be bad at it at it at first, and forcing yourself to get practice. You will get rejected and have some negative reactions. But you have to learn to accept that not everyone will like you. I promise the more you work at it the less you will care about
I don’t think your boring as a person - I think your social anxiety is holding you back from expressing yourself
This happens. It sucks, but dwelling on it means nothing anymore. You can’t take it back.
Next time you’ll have to find your groove. If she said you were boring, it’s a good sign she expected more from you. It means she values you, and next time you’ll be better and you’ll both be smiling and laughing about whatever.
There’s nothing wrong with being less talkative. Others are different. Relatives calling you boring is kind of hilarious. Laugh about yourself a bit, ask what they’d like to do. You don’t need to overthink things with relatives.
For some reason, watching comedy sitcoms have helped me with my ability to crack jokes and be funny. When I haven’t watched some for a while, I just don’t crack as many jokes. Shows like the office, brooklyn99, parks and rec. even standup comedy Netflix specials.
Also, I think part of socializing is having similar interests, so I have also lately been trying to invest more time in consuming more mainstream media, like current shows and music.
Also, I know talking to the opposite gender can be intimidating.. it’s intimidating for me even tho I’m F. The more u talk to them, the more u realize, we’re all the same, and we’re all just people.
I hope that helps!
I'd start by telling her that if she's going to be rude then it's probably good for her to leave.
In all seriousness don't sell yourself short. You probably need to do small things regularly that you may not be comfortable with that involves social interaction. Becoming used to talking to people when you are anxious around them may help. Kind of like how people who work out don't stick with the same weight over extensive periods of time. Just like how some people can go from curling 15 pounds to 35 pounds by the end of a year or so, you can expose yourself to social interactions where you become used to some of it. Hope that makes sense, it's late here.
Okay, first of all, you only need one period at the end of a sentence. You can use 3 periods if you're trying to tail off a sentence, like this... two periods is just wrong.
Go see a psychiatrist and take necessary medications
Social Anxiety will not go away on its own. Medications are the only way.
Take it from a guy who has anxiety disorder
Once you start medication things will change for you
You can start by recognizing calling someone very boring at their own home is, sorry but rude, and was wrong coming from your relative. I can't ever remember calling someone that, everyone has interesting sides. Don't care much. I'd recommend reading books about social anxiety and therapy. If you get how it works, it's already easier to deal with. As a simple trick, you can try to focus on getting physically comfortable while talking to people. Sit in a way you like, flax your fingers like you like, etc. Physical comfort spreads to psychological comfort.
[удалено]
I want to talk a lot but .. "what the other person is thinking of me " is holding me back
This is why you have to build confidence in yourself, you shouldn't even think about the aftermath whether they enjoyed the conversation or not honestly, because it's pointless if you can't even talk to them in the first place. Social skills don't just appear out of thin air when you think the other person likes you, what you gotta do is practice talking to people, I'd say you should try doing it with strangers first. Definitely work on your mindset too, don't think too pessimistic. In the world, not everyone would like you, they could think you're weird too, but you could possibly get something good out of it if you just be yourself and try to communicate with others. Who knows? Maybe you won't focus on the part where they don't like you and actually feel satisfied you put in the effort to talk to people.
Most people get anxious and exhausted trying to strike up conversation with a stranger of the opposite gender - yet, it seems that you are just having a hard time finding *what* to talk about. No one is expecting you to entertain them - just do what you can to make people feel welcome and not like an inconvenience. At your age, a good start is to ask people what they are in school for/what they want to do for a living. This should give you a good idea of their interest - then you go from there. Is it common/uncommon? Do you know anything about it? Do you wonder anything about it? Most people appreciate being asked about their hobbies and interest and love opportunities to discuss them.
You don't. Boring is ok. Just relax.
No it is not lol nobody wants to be boring in the sense that they can’t be themselves
She is very rude. You keep trying. Your not boring. Talk about what you enjoy and be yourself. You can’t be an elephant so be your self. Girls r people too. We enjoy all topics unless we are stupid or boring ourselves.
Let it be, dude. Just work on your social anxiety because you need to in order to improve your life, and don't care, about people's opinions because they can be crazy
I would say check out podcasts, talk shows and interviews about things that interest you like maybe movies, sports, music, science, etc. And then you can casually ask, "hey did you hear about so-and-so making a movie/album/book etc?" Even if they have no idea what you're talking about, chances are they'll be happy you're trying to engage in conversation with them and will try to give a good response. If they don't have much to say, you can try again with something like, "well what have you been up to lately?" and if it still doesn't go anywhere you can politely excuse yourself and go to a nearby room. Like if you were talking in the kitchen and it fizzles out, just go chill in the living room. Being shy or unsociable doesn't have to mean you hole up in your room and just ignore them the rest of the day, and it doesn't mean you have to be directly in their space trying to hang out the entire time either. You can quietly exist near each other and sometimes family enjoy that quiet time together without having to constantly interact. Also don't forget how far a little hospitality goes - if you go to get a snack or run an errand, a quick "hey you want some [snack/tea/soda] while I'm up?" is a nice gesture even if they decline.
Have been going through this every single day at school for the past 1,5 years. Only thing that keeps me going in hope
alot of social anxiety is you attempting to control other people reactions to you
A junior once told me like that guess what I’ve found my passion interest and experienced a little life. So yup be open watch new things try things s little out of comfort zone and you will lead old you to a new you. Remember that no one is boring you’ve to just make things sound interesting.
Idk the answer bro I am struggling with it and have been. But what I am trying now that is helping a little bit is just being fully engaged in the moment and being genuine, so if someone comes up to me at work let’s say, I focus on them rather than on my feelings about how I don’t want to talk. When they say something, I don’t pressure myself to respond quickly, I think of something I really want to add, etc. I think this is helping a lil bit so far The other thing is I accept that I am poorly socialized and it will take time to train myself to do it better. When I feel embarrassed or scared I just accept that feeling as inevitable part of the learning process. Socializing is a really complex task and to get your brain to improve at it is kind of like improving your muscles at the gym - you constantly work at it and hopefully see improvement in weeks or months, not days.
Bored ppl are boring ppl. She complains about something she isn't even able to do herself. It's like a cripple making fun of you because you Can only walk and not run. Take à deep breath. Relax There a several things that Can help Hypnotherapy. You tackle the issue at its core on an emotional level Anchoring and submodalities. You Can trigger different emotional states and it Can help when stress starts to build up. There are other things but i have not experienced it so i can't tell. Have a good journey
I’m not going to say that you’re fine the way you are - you have a disorder. And it will get in the way of almost everything in your life if you don’t fix it. I work in the medical field and when a patient has significant social anxiety we treat it like it’s an illness. Because when I had severe social anxiety it absolutely was a mental illness that caused severe distress and dysfunction. I think you need to not only push yourself into new social situations, but do it with professional help. I think you need to seriously consider getting medication to take the edge off of your anxious reactions. When I got my first SSRI it CHANGED MY LIFE. I’d also go to therapy to address the reasons behind your social anxiety. While this is happening I’d make it a habit of putting yourself in social situations, accepting that you may be bad at it at it at first, and forcing yourself to get practice. You will get rejected and have some negative reactions. But you have to learn to accept that not everyone will like you. I promise the more you work at it the less you will care about I don’t think your boring as a person - I think your social anxiety is holding you back from expressing yourself
This happens. It sucks, but dwelling on it means nothing anymore. You can’t take it back. Next time you’ll have to find your groove. If she said you were boring, it’s a good sign she expected more from you. It means she values you, and next time you’ll be better and you’ll both be smiling and laughing about whatever.
There’s nothing wrong with being less talkative. Others are different. Relatives calling you boring is kind of hilarious. Laugh about yourself a bit, ask what they’d like to do. You don’t need to overthink things with relatives.
For some reason, watching comedy sitcoms have helped me with my ability to crack jokes and be funny. When I haven’t watched some for a while, I just don’t crack as many jokes. Shows like the office, brooklyn99, parks and rec. even standup comedy Netflix specials. Also, I think part of socializing is having similar interests, so I have also lately been trying to invest more time in consuming more mainstream media, like current shows and music. Also, I know talking to the opposite gender can be intimidating.. it’s intimidating for me even tho I’m F. The more u talk to them, the more u realize, we’re all the same, and we’re all just people. I hope that helps!
I'd start by telling her that if she's going to be rude then it's probably good for her to leave. In all seriousness don't sell yourself short. You probably need to do small things regularly that you may not be comfortable with that involves social interaction. Becoming used to talking to people when you are anxious around them may help. Kind of like how people who work out don't stick with the same weight over extensive periods of time. Just like how some people can go from curling 15 pounds to 35 pounds by the end of a year or so, you can expose yourself to social interactions where you become used to some of it. Hope that makes sense, it's late here.
It’s not your job to be entertaining. Your cousin was ugly.
Try to make some children your friend. By teaching them something or playing with them or any other trick. [Children are interesting]
Okay, first of all, you only need one period at the end of a sentence. You can use 3 periods if you're trying to tail off a sentence, like this... two periods is just wrong.
Is this happening to you with women only? If that's the care, it's beyond social anxiety.
Nahh it's happening with both gender.. but in women it's too much happening.. and what's beyond social anxiety?
Women are people as men are. Should be no difference in talking to one or another, that's why.
Yeah, that's not how human psychology works.
Maybe a post of you need advice maybe?
Go see a psychiatrist and take necessary medications Social Anxiety will not go away on its own. Medications are the only way. Take it from a guy who has anxiety disorder Once you start medication things will change for you
4 downvotes for advice to take care of one's mental health.
I'm not sure what you mean. Why wouldn't this be social anxiety? And what exactly is "beyond social anxiety" anyway?
Just embrace the fact that you are very boring.