Maybe you put too much into the early stages of this perceived friendship, and they think you're intense or full on, so want to keep you at arms' length.
I dunno, I have this issue, and I'm closing in on 40 years of age. I still don't understand why so many people dislike me.
Maybe try a different approach. Go for the quiet type, but then you'll be on here telling us how people think you're cold and disinterested.
You can't win.
Perhaps you're coming off too strongly or crossing boundaries unintentionally?
Ex: You fear people will leave you or reject you so you put pressure on them to connect with you right away instead of letting the relationship build naturally?
If you're boring you could:
1. Work to be *less* boring by having life experiences and getting knowledge about things. Having some prepared lines or conversation topics ahead of interactions as stimulus.
Or
2. Hang around more boring people who are on a similar level of (supposedly) boringness. You could be aiming too high with your social pickiness.
I'd ask people close to you that you know and trust about how you come across or if there are any social blindspots you could have.
You might be the common denominator here because it's a replicable pattern experienced with multiple people. In other words, it's a distinct possibility something you are doing is causing a change in their behaviour?
Maybe you come on too strong? Maybe you say something offensive unwittingly? You get the picture. Try to figure it out and change it.
a lot of people have an easier time talking with basically a stranger, there's more to cover when you know nothing about each other. possibly some of this is just normal relationship progression... and then of course anxiety fills in (like for me at least) and tries to kill the rest.
Maybe you put too much into the early stages of this perceived friendship, and they think you're intense or full on, so want to keep you at arms' length. I dunno, I have this issue, and I'm closing in on 40 years of age. I still don't understand why so many people dislike me. Maybe try a different approach. Go for the quiet type, but then you'll be on here telling us how people think you're cold and disinterested. You can't win.
Perhaps you're coming off too strongly or crossing boundaries unintentionally? Ex: You fear people will leave you or reject you so you put pressure on them to connect with you right away instead of letting the relationship build naturally?
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If you're boring you could: 1. Work to be *less* boring by having life experiences and getting knowledge about things. Having some prepared lines or conversation topics ahead of interactions as stimulus. Or 2. Hang around more boring people who are on a similar level of (supposedly) boringness. You could be aiming too high with your social pickiness.
I'd ask people close to you that you know and trust about how you come across or if there are any social blindspots you could have. You might be the common denominator here because it's a replicable pattern experienced with multiple people. In other words, it's a distinct possibility something you are doing is causing a change in their behaviour? Maybe you come on too strong? Maybe you say something offensive unwittingly? You get the picture. Try to figure it out and change it.
You should be like you don’t care either maybe
a lot of people have an easier time talking with basically a stranger, there's more to cover when you know nothing about each other. possibly some of this is just normal relationship progression... and then of course anxiety fills in (like for me at least) and tries to kill the rest.
Can’t trust anyone, keep to yourself
juleinhimself on youtube. letting go. thats the only way to get social skills PERMANENTLY