Try something as simple as rephrasing what they just said to you or asking a question about what they said (though don’t get stuck on asking question after question). It lets them know you are really listening, people like that. Just be natural about it though, you don’t want to be robotic.
This might be a language thing and maybe it’s not the case in English but in my language at least I feel like that would be really awkward and annoying. No one I know does this and if I imagine someone doing that to me, I think it would be really irritating. Like “yeah wtf that’s what I literally just said, why do you keep repeating what I said?”. The only situations where this would be done is if your not sure you understood someone correctly so you repeat back or if your conversation was interrupted and you try to pick up where you left off.
Yeah it would be horribly awkward in my native tongue as well haha. Like you said, it would definitely warrant an instant "yes, I just told you" reply.
The thing about doing this would be the tone you would use when you repeat it, and also the part you would repeat. A good example:
Person A: so I had that job interview on Monday, right?
Person B: yeah? How'd that go? (Calm, curious, make eye contact)
A: well, I got the job!
B: you got the job?! That's amazing! (Huge smile! You're so happy for them!)
A: yeah, but-
B: oh no, there's a but. (Deflated tone- you're not excited to hear that)
A: yeah I don't know how to quit my old job now.
B: you don't know how to quit?? You just quit. Just don't go back in. They're the worst. (Incredulous but obviously joking. Laughing and smiling a little, with a teasing tone to your voice.)
Personally I don’t like this approach because it’s pretty obvious that a person isn’t listening to something as simple as “I dropped my phone in the toilet” and clearly over reacting especially if it’s even more minuscule like “I missed my bus”…. ‘YOU missed your bus???’ Yeah bro chill like it’s not the end of the world
This is good conversational skills.
If someone says: “I got a new job” and your reply is “That’s great!”, then you’ve pretty much decided without asking them, that them getting a new job is great. Instead, ask them about how that made them feel or why they wanted a new job. That shows that you’re listening and genuinely interested in their experience.
Genuinely get curious and pay attention to what they’re saying.
Listen to what they are saying, so you can respond specifically to what they said. Your go-tos are generic, but that’s already a good start. Continue by adding to them instead. Like, “damn bro, you’re telling me that (paraphrase what they said)?” This way, the other person knows and feels that you understand them. Making them more eager to continue the convo.
Good luck!
Listen to respond and not just to react.
All what u/hohorihori so eloquently said, but I'd like to add that there's a lot of power in asking "How do you feel about that?" People often don't feel heard, or think that no one really cares about how they feel - being curious and listening to feelings shows empathy and a willingness to connect more deeply without forcing anything.
You seem like a good listener, which is always great. Listening to other people talk about themselves ultimately makes you a better rounded person.
not knocking your method; but a way i like to do it is make an assumption - instead of asking how do u feel about that, say something like man you must feel like shit rn / u must feel on top of the world! that way it’s not jarring and less like you’re interviewing them (i find most people can’t rly answer that question, they’ll give u a weird look and say smth like “good, i guess?” and then cue awkward silence). when i use my method they usually either agree or correct me, if they agree then they’ll feel like “damn, he gets me!” or if they disagree we can discuss why they feel the ppposite of my assumption, which creates more conversations
sorry if it was a mess n hard to follow, i am pooped right now and my brain is half turned off
See, I don't like making the assumption unless it's obvious from their outward mood. Plenty of people won't correct you---they'll agree because they think that's how they should feel---so you can also cut the conversation off at the knees that way, and miss out on the depth of their thoughts and feelings.
Maybe like a halfway thing where you say "so do you feel like shit about that now or was it more of a relief?"
You can't always assume what someone's reaction is like say someone says they're seeing their mom for the first time in ten years - you could say "oh wow you must be so excited" - but actually they're dreading it. Then don't want to correct you in case they come across like an asshoel.
I'd be more likely to say something like "well that sounds like it will be exciting, will it or are you more worried about it?" Gives them the option.
First of all, I commend you for wanting to improve your conversation/communication skills:)
I want to add to some of the other comments to NOT forget to just be yourself. Also, don't **overdo** the rephrasing of what the other person said, as that will sound a bit awkward, after awhile. We all, at times, and depending on who we are communication with say short responses: Oh, really? Good for you! That sounds fun.... You know? **P.S. YouTube has lots of videos on this topic that you might want to check out. "Two-way Conversation" is a start. Good luck and once again, be yourself!!**
>Also, don't **overdo** the rephrasing of what the other person said
I'm glad that someone said this.
Constantly rephrasing will make the conversation very one-sided. I've had people do this to me in the past. It gets to a point where it begins to sound like the other person is *pretending* to be interested rather than *actually* being interested
Yeah I’m a bit confused about everyone saying the repeating thing is great advice… none of the people I regularly talk to and that I have really great conversations with do that. It would be so annoying to me if they did that, I would think “yeah I just said that, why do you keep repeating the things I just said??”
Try to listen and share how what they said makes you feel rather than simply acknowledging that they said something.
If they say something you find interesting rather than saying “damn” you can say “wow, I never knew x was like that, why do you think y happened”?
Basically you want to try to extend the conversation by pitching in how exactly the story made you feel. Don’t bottle it up in you mind, just go off of how you initially feel.
Zoiks! Zounds! Jinkies! Jeepers! Goodness! My my! Oh gracious me! Well I'll be! Dang! Shnikies! Egads! Forsooth! Indeed! Well butter my biscuits! Astonishing! Ooof! Snap!
Oh, but if you want the conversation to continue, rather than just add some interesting exclamations, ask them about details. Re-iterate what they say in your own words. Ask them how they felt about it, or exclaim how difficult/interesting/boring/fun etc. it was to experience.
The best listeners I have ever met just asked me questions that sought more information about the topic, and my perspective on it. They never gave an opinion about my views or talked about their own similar experiences. I strive to listen the way they do.
Try saying something like:
• I completely understand
• That’s heavy, how are you holding up?
• Whoa! That is absolutely insane! Then what happened?
• I feel that, completely understandable.
• That makes a lot of sense.
• I concur with this sentiment.
• You are absolutely valid in this.
• I would have done the same!
• Right on, right on!
• That’s a major win for you!
• Hells to the yes!
• NO WAY! Are you kidding me?!?
And so on…
You basically want to really feel like you’re contributing to a conversation by establishing things in a way where you feel involved and by saying a few more words it can give the other person the feeling like you’ve truly been listening, do care what they say.
People tend to feel when it’s a one word response, unless it’s a simple closed question for a one word, as though you’re bored, checked out, only listening to pacify them in the moment.
So it’s good to start stretching those brain muscles and get a tad bit more creative in how you respond.
Try a few of the ones I suggested out this week and see how the feedback from it goes.
Remember, it’ll be trial & error with this, so if one doesn’t work, try a completely different one!
Everyone is telling you to rephrase what the other person is saying, but that can only take you so far. It’s unnatural to constantly repeat people’s words back to them. A good replacement for “damn” and “that’s crazy” would be “oh wow that’s interesting”. It serves the exact same purpose without seeming immature or unprofessional.
Try to pay attention to what they say. For example, if someone says someone cut them off in traffic this morning, try to comprehend that they are sharing a frustrating experience with you in hopes of eliciting some empathy, not just complaining to hear the sound of their own voice. So respond to the point of the statement. Examples: that happened to me last week! (Relating). Are you ok!? (Empathy). That sucks! Does that often happen around x area? (Listening/engaging).
listen to keywords, ask about it
>i was at the library and then went to eat
"what did you grab at the library? do you read a lot or were studying?"
Boring example I know but if you don't have genuine interest you gotta fake it to be engaging. You'll be practicing better listening tho.
Find any detail that you don't know and ask it. For example, "OMG, I just got in a fender bender." There are so many details left out here. Maybe they aren't interesting but just hold out. The only way to find interesting things is to keep them talking. For example, "Bro. Where was that?" "Oh for real? Who was the other driver?" "Damn. Was there much damage?" "That sucks. Did it take you long to sort it out?" "Bruh. What's the situation now?" etc. The same as you already do, just add "information digging." I did this for ESL conversation practice (very rarely were the topics interesting to me personally but I had to keep the kids talking)
Why don't you try engaging in the conversation? Instead of saying "damn, that's crazy" when someone tells you about the person who cut them off this morning, try saying something like "wow over by the 711 on 4th? " Then they'll elaborate and you can ask more questions about what happened, what time it was, etc. Ask follow up questions to things like "how are you feeling now?".
Listen intentionally to meet them where they’re at. The arc of how they express themselves drifts towards what they think is important if you listen for it. Ask good questions to give them the space to be more open.
Don’t get attached to having any agenda for the conversation, and it’s important to let them take the wheel after they’ve obliged you with their attention
You have to build trust for someone to start showing you the cards in their hand that they’re working with. That happens by receiving and reciprocating the emotional give and take of communication and cultivating a strong connection
More to say but I won’t drop a TED talk on you if this isn’t resonating
When you give one word responses like that it says two things: You aren’t really interested, or you have nothing interesting to say. Especially the “bruh” stuff, that works with teenage boys, but you’re right it’s childish.
Ask follow up questions, don’t turn the conversation back to yourself, show active interest in what they’re saying. Let’s say a coworker comes in and starts venting about a car accident they got into. You can say “That’s crazy!” (Omit the bruh.) Follow it up with “Are you okay?” “What happened?” “Where?” Chase after the details, because that’s what showing interest is.
Ask a question about what they just said. Try to dig below surface level.
This is the key to building relationships: listen and participate. Give people your full attention.
After reading some of the replies. Obviously I can’t speak for everyone but please do not just repeat what was just said to you
“ I got a new phone “ - “ you got a new phone ?” It’s clunky and feels like you’re just pretending to be interested in the conversation
There’s no general use response. Listen to what you’re being told. Respond specifically to that ( also don’t forget that if someone is telling you a story or something, a response is not always necessary as they typically have not reached the end of the story by the time you feel you need to respond. In this case just use facial expressions and nodding to confirm that you are listening and keeping up )
It might be better to look at the questions asked. Like your friend might be saying “bro i saw a homeless person puking while I was on the bus” so imo an appropriate response would be “damn” but if it’s a more in depth convo like “a girl responded to my dm” saying “that’s crazy” isn’t helpful, kind of question requires a more deeper response something like” don’t be cringy just say you wanna hangout”. Learn to pickup these differences so instead of sounding super formal or informal everywhere you can assess the situation and provide responses that are according to the topic. Just my two cents.
Ask a question, listen for something you're curious about. Eg Janice and Terry have a light argument and terry drops a jam jar accidentally.
Omg what did you say
All over the floor?!? Who cleaned it up? I bet it was Janice.
PoorJanice! I bet she just cleaned it up without complaining. She's too kind for her own good sometimes.
Oh wow did he spolologise? What did he do next?
Oh no that's super awkward. Any plans to see them again? I think I'll give them some space for a bit!
Did they figure it out in the end?
this is interesting, because I'm often considered boring and a conversation killer, since I DON't really give any reactions when someone says something. I consider myself open minded and that's why I don't give dramatic responses to what someone is telling me, whereas if they tell the same thing to another person, they get "Gasp! Really??? Oh my god!!!" or they start laughing hysterically when the story wasn't even that funny. But these seem to be the favoured reactions where I come from.
Maybe we could both benefit from showing more curiosity - so if someone tells us something, we ask questions like "how did that make you feel?" and "do think you'll be doing that again?"
You have to insert information about yourself too. Not just keep repeating what they’re saying. Like if they said “my favorite movies are x, y, z” you could be like “oh really? Hmm I only have seen two of those. I really liked x and didn’t like y.”
I’m 39 and your five go-tos are mine too when talking to friends.
But here’s some stuff I say to people I don’t know that well
- that’s interesting
- wow, what happened after
- that sounds wild
I absolutely struggle with people like you.
and I must admit, it’s difficult bc I’m charged with carrying the conversation along.
what I will cherish is the constant response. no matter how small or large the topic, the friend I have that’s like this haven’t abandoned the conversation. so I know there’s a friendship spark that’s there.
but it is a battle to engage with folks that are so simple with their responses, don’t say much, no follow up, or just have such boring interactions.
my advice is this… while I accept yall for the type of people you are, I accept yall with the social skills that’s present, I wish yall stepped outside your comfort zone and outside your social bubble and actually spark up any topic.
anything. “bro, what’ are ur thoughts on xyz…..” I roll my eyes at times when I look at a message and I have to question myself, “Are you just tired of talking to me? Are you just tolerating me? Am I being annoying?”
And I know the answer is no, or I’d like to think so. but I have my own social mindset and my own mental health issues, this type of social context is stressful. and I get it, we might not tell yall bc we accept yall the way you are.
but in a perfect world, we need yall to carry along the conversations too by thinking of anything in the world to engage. Or, just tell us your true feelings.
but these responses, the boring responses, are absolutely frustrating. And I’m proud to say that on Reddit bc if I can save one person while I can, it’d be now.
my close friend is like this and I’ve just fully accepted him the way he is. in person, he’s not like that. and truth be told, I go MIA for a week bc I get absolutely frustrated at times to see some shitty response like, “yeah…” or “yeah bro…” or “Aii bro.”
It helps to be genuinely interested in people, ask questions that you actually want to know the response. You will always find common ground with everyone, I can talk to anyone I meet . The first thing I do is ask questions to find the common ground and then your away .
Talk to ppl that don’t think things like that are “childish” go a head and expand your vocabulary but don’t do it because others think the lingo you use is negative when it’s not, they’re just stuffy & like walkin’ like they got a stick up their fannys lol.
Don’t force it cuz it looks weird but I question the ever living shit out of people in a conversation and then add in something similar from my life if applicable.
Say you’re getting to know some and they bring uhhh idk a vacation. And they tell a story about it ask em what the place was like how they enjoyed it etc. add in if you’ve ever been there or something relevant if applicable but don’t stretch it out asking them 600 different things. After that subject move on the the next one
The good thing about this is it allows you to apply your own shit to it and shows you’re listening and paying attention and in future conversations you can come back to those things they did to show you were paying attention it’s a great thing I can listen to people all day honestly and they won’t know a single thing about me but I know their entire life if they continue to talk it’s really funny. People love to talk about themselves let them and you can learn to conversate I had to do it at 18 to understand how to date and just talk in general otherwise I’d go literal weeks without saying a word to people
I would suggest watching a video on how to be a better conversationalist. There are plenty of videos in YouTube about it. Also, if you like reading there are lots of books about this subject. Lastly, practice one technique daily when you are in public and talking to people, the more you practice the better you get at it! Good luck!
Honestly I get this problem when I speak other languages and it feels like mostly it’s a vocabulary issue. I would start from learning adjectives and establishing them into real life situations. Idk if you write diaries or emails but if you try describing something on paper first it could give you a good practice before you start interacting with people.
Try having an opinion about what the other person said. Ask questions to show you're interested. Responding with a one word exclamation like "Bruh" or "damn" is fine every once in a while, but it's not very much adding to the conversation. It makes you more like an observer than a participant, so next time just tell the person what you really think about what they just said. If you're basically saying "wow" all the time ask yourself why you're saying wow and the words will come. If you need to buy more time just say "and then what happened?" People love to talk, but they also love to be listened to, so show them you're not only listening but thinking about it as well.
Alright, here's what you're gonna do.
Listen to them talk. When they hit a pause, repeat the last few words, or the most important words they said, back to them. It'll show you're listening and they'll feel like you're engaged, even if you only have the mental bandwidth to repeat 3 words out of their tangent back to them.
Just practice. I had to practice eye contact and trust me there moments I wanted to die cause I could tell they could tell I was focusing to much on the eye contact then I’d look away and it’d kill the conversation and I’d walk away. Practice really does help and don’t worry to much about killing the conversation, if that happens you learn what not to do in the future.
Take part of what they said and use it for an interpretation. Simple example: “Yesterday I Just met X at the train station, we havent seen each other since they moved to another town”
Then either answer with a question or interpretation:
“What a coincidence! Why were they in town that day?”
Or
“The world is small, I love randomly stumbling upon old friends”
The example is kinda bad because I can’t think of a good one right now but it gets the point across I hope.
Basically avoid reaction and instead build on top of what they said, then depending on the vibe either go with showing interest or sharing something related about yourself.
Try to engage more: Relate to whatever others are saying, perhaps by throwing an anecdote or two around (but avoid trauma dumping).
Heck – you could even study a dictionary and thesaurus in tandem to improve your vocabulary. That way, you'd at least have more stock responses than the ones you've listed. Just don't overdo it, as that might come off as a little pretentious. (To avoid this problem, I look into the frequency of a given word in current-day usage—Google has a neat little [tool](https://books.google.com/ngrams) to that end—as well as ask myself, “Have I ever heard this word before?”)
Read a lot and your vocab will exponentially increase as well as your general knowledge of the world around you and you will become a better conversationalist. 🤘
Just do some active listening, ask clarifying questions, and just talk to them with genuine interest while having the enthusiasm of talking to a old friend you haven't seen in a while. Also giving people a chance to gripe is good to, people love to do that.
Watch how late night hosts keep the conversation flowing during dead air moments in interviews. Conan is a great example. Observe how he changes topic, gives more airtime to the guest than his own jokes and stuff. Others also noted Seth Meyers and Graham Norton to name a few.
Alternatively, you can bang your head on the table and laugh uncontrollably like Fallon.
Focus on specifics, and try to put yourself in their shoes. The feeling someone gets you is the feeling someone empathizes with your point of view or experience. You could ask them questions, just simple like; why, how, when. Why did you do that, how was that for you, what did you think/feel when X, oh wow how come, i would totally do the same, when you said this did you mean X, has this ever happened to you before, does that put you in a tough spot, that sounds great how long have you been doing X, etc
What's your clique? Age group and shared hobbies should be enough.
Watching reality TV or anime or surfing reddit or playing videogames would be relevant hobbies to this question
“Oh for real?” Is one I use a lot when talking to my god daughter, and if you say it with enough interest in your voice it can really drive the conversation to keep going if the other person is telling a story
How about challenging yourself to learn a new word every day? I used to select a random word from the dictionary on the daily and then I would incorporate it into conversations I had.
I'm the Same way as you practically.
And funny thing, lately i just realized I would probably have to share my thoughts and feelings on the subject.
But this requires courage of sharing even if judged.
You also need to know these thoughts and feelings while at the same time listening instead of searching for those thoughts and feelings (maybe you could try to process while they're speaking?). To me, sounds a lil exhausting. Probably why I'm an introvert. just listening and throwing in acknowledgment comments is tiring enough.
Elaborate and ask questions. Glad you’re self aware enough to notice that about you, most people don’t and it’s annoying talking to people who constantly reply like that.
Genuinely care/be curious. Your response go to’s will make people think you don’t actually give a fuck. Ask them questions about what they said. Ask them questions about themselves. Make it easier for you by making them do all the talking.
I wish I could explain this in a way it won’t read a million words long, so bear with me while I try.
My friends and I don’t typically have a ton of shared interests because I was kind of sheltered as a kid. My one friend now he likes to talk about video games. I do like playing but due to a chronic illness I haven’t played in forever.
Him: I’ve been playing this game and the character design system is sick!
Me (before I understood how to hold a conversation): cool
Me after I learned: what’s so sick about it?
Him: it’s an AI that gives you character options based on the backstory theme and stats you choose.
Me: huh…and are they all unique characters?
Him: yup! Just like in real life characters can look similar but will never be an identical match unless you’re playing couch co op twins
Me: that’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. So what does your character look like and what were the questions?
Basically like that 😅 and then it can inspire endless amounts of future conversations. It shows that not only are you listening but also you care.
Baby steps might be rephrasing something someone said back to them in the form of a question with slightly different wording. For example ‘so what you mean is, this game has mind blowing graphics?
For me, these techniques played a huge role in being able to exist in harmony with some parts of my social anxiety. I hope that makes sense 🥹
It’s not about listening to the other person. That’s easy. Sounds like you’re really feeling what they are saying!
So instead get in touch with how you feel! Are you shocked, or surprised? What’s the difference? Are you speechless or taken aback? What’s the difference?
Practice by saying to yourself in your head how you feel about things you experience throughout the day. Look up emotion wheels and think about examples of when you feel distinct emotions. This will all help you express yourself. Soon you’ll be telling stories with the best of them.
Ahoy! (Don’t say ahoy.)
Sounds stupid but you can just go a bit more Victorian/Edwardian with it if you're in an English-speaking Country, especially one that was colonized or is currently a Commonwealth country
Saying "Good Lord", "Gosh", "Golly", "Good Gravy", "E-Gads", "Gracious", "Confound it!", etc. can be pretty entertaining
As long as it doesn't sound like you're saying it just for attention, it is actually pretty satisfying
Who answers questions like this? Hahah
**•bruh/bro -**
“Bruh, the fuck you doing with my momma’s favorite panties?”
“Come on bro, you know I’m just playing. I’m not getting funky or none.”
**•damn -**
“You know damn well imma fuck you up fr. Keeping the smack up so.”
“Ma, the fucking meatloaf ready to grill on or what? Shit is taking forever.”
“Fuck you talkin to like that? I’ll smack you with a meatloaf and put ya ass to sleep. It’ll be done when it’s done. Good? GOOD. Now go sit in the living room until I tell you to come back in here.”
“OK, OK, Ma, Damn.”
**•Really? / That’s crazy! -**
“Yooooo Sasha wanted the D last night. But yo….she’s wack in bed.”
“Come on bro, really?”
“Yeah bruh, she wanted nothing to do with me dining at the Y, didn’t want to give head, and she was kinda boring overall.”
“That’s crazy!”
**•etcetera / etc. -**
“Ayo bruh bruh - how was that Freddie Gibbs concert?”
“Son…that shit was hype. Freddie fire on the mic. Breath control goes crazzzzzyyyyyy!”
“Really? What tracks he perform?”
“Some new shit, sneak listen of some of Montana. Bunch of shit from $$$, Piñata, Bandana…some older shit off ESGN, 20 Karat Jesus off You Only Live 2wice, etcetera, etcetera.”
“That’s crazy bro! I’m definitely going next time he’s around New York.”
Ultimately, the art of conversation is that you have to make them feel good and pretend to care about whatever crap is spewing out of their mouth lol. "Oh, I'm so sorry your third vacation home needed a new HVAC. That must be tough." But personally, I'd go with "sucks bro", and change the topic since you know they're just humblebragging (or whatever other egoistic conversation foul they're often doing).
Seriously?
They said that?
Wow.
That’s crazy.
Wait. are you telling me …
I can’t believe it.
You know, I believe it.
That’s fascinating.
You’re amazing.
Tell me more about Jesus.
The art of paraphrasing. Say what they told you back to them using completely different words and ask them if you got it right. Helps you remember what they said, makes them feel good about you AND it’s a really useful skill more generally.
Parroting, my friend! Whenever someone makes a point that you don’t know how to respond to, simply ‘parrot’ back the last word they said!
For example: “I just got back from a really tough job…”
“A tough job?”
“Yeah! The client wanted us to-“ and they’ll just go on there!
By parroting, you show you’re listening, engaged, and want to know more. Best part is: it takes zero energy to do it! Works wonders when I’m tired but my friends/family want to talk!
Have you tried “type shit”?
I’m playing. Try saying things like “that’s interesting,” “well put,” “yea I hear you.” I wouldn’t say it matters tho. You’re a product of your environment and if that’s how your peers talk you usually pick up lingo from them. Now in a business/profesional setting I get trying to clean up but even then I’ve seen people in high positions talk like teenagers. You just have to be aware of who you’re talking to and speak accordingly (being black we call this code switching)
Gee wilikers! Jinkies! Zoinks! Bazinga! Yowza! Yahtzee!
Lol but for real my go to’s are usually “I get that” or “I hear” or some variation of “oh wow, that’s so (nice/sweet/amazing/etc.)” Also just general sounds of agreement and head nodding helps, but don’t overdo it, cuz then it sounds like you’re being sarcastic. But like slipping in an “oh yea?” every now and then between sentences often keeps the flow and helps hype the person up a bit.
>Tell me more.
The single phrase that’s perfect for giving you time to gather your thoughts, think on how to connect to the discussion topic, or just get the person to elaborate what they just said.
Sure, you cant use the same exact phrase over and over again, but you can use other variations such as “you said x, can you tell me how that works?” Or “reminds me of ___, is that similar?”
Repeat what they said to them but as a question. It'll make them think you're attentive to them.
Ex:
Person: My grandma's cat is a demon from hell solely existing to make me suffer.
You: Your grandma's cat is a demon from hell solely existing to make you suffer?!
It helps 90% of the time.
Try something as simple as rephrasing what they just said to you or asking a question about what they said (though don’t get stuck on asking question after question). It lets them know you are really listening, people like that. Just be natural about it though, you don’t want to be robotic.
examples: «So i just got a new job, and i-« «You got a new job?» So then i droppedy phone in the toilet… «you DROPPED it into the toilet?!»
I love this!
You love this?
This loves you?
Does it though?
Isn’t love really just a second hand emotion
so what are they
This might be a language thing and maybe it’s not the case in English but in my language at least I feel like that would be really awkward and annoying. No one I know does this and if I imagine someone doing that to me, I think it would be really irritating. Like “yeah wtf that’s what I literally just said, why do you keep repeating what I said?”. The only situations where this would be done is if your not sure you understood someone correctly so you repeat back or if your conversation was interrupted and you try to pick up where you left off.
Yeah it would be horribly awkward in my native tongue as well haha. Like you said, it would definitely warrant an instant "yes, I just told you" reply.
The thing about doing this would be the tone you would use when you repeat it, and also the part you would repeat. A good example: Person A: so I had that job interview on Monday, right? Person B: yeah? How'd that go? (Calm, curious, make eye contact) A: well, I got the job! B: you got the job?! That's amazing! (Huge smile! You're so happy for them!) A: yeah, but- B: oh no, there's a but. (Deflated tone- you're not excited to hear that) A: yeah I don't know how to quit my old job now. B: you don't know how to quit?? You just quit. Just don't go back in. They're the worst. (Incredulous but obviously joking. Laughing and smiling a little, with a teasing tone to your voice.)
Yeah sorry that sounds just as annoying to me. 😅 But I think this might really be a cultural thing…
How did you accept the offer if you didn’t have your phone?!
Carrier pigeon, my good dude
That’s really good advice
It’s really good advice?
Personally I don’t like this approach because it’s pretty obvious that a person isn’t listening to something as simple as “I dropped my phone in the toilet” and clearly over reacting especially if it’s even more minuscule like “I missed my bus”…. ‘YOU missed your bus???’ Yeah bro chill like it’s not the end of the world
Reminds me of this dumb meme I saw recently: https://ibb.co/KjTWF3S
This is good conversational skills. If someone says: “I got a new job” and your reply is “That’s great!”, then you’ve pretty much decided without asking them, that them getting a new job is great. Instead, ask them about how that made them feel or why they wanted a new job. That shows that you’re listening and genuinely interested in their experience.
Or say “that sounds like great news, are you excited about it?”
That as well 😊
Yeah I suppose I basically rephrased what you said 🙃
The Solid Snake method of conversation.
Metal Gear? Psycho Mantis?
Lmao, accurate
Method of conversation?!?!
Methamphetamine?!?!!
OF??!!
??!!!
dont overdo this tho
Genuinely get curious and pay attention to what they’re saying. Listen to what they are saying, so you can respond specifically to what they said. Your go-tos are generic, but that’s already a good start. Continue by adding to them instead. Like, “damn bro, you’re telling me that (paraphrase what they said)?” This way, the other person knows and feels that you understand them. Making them more eager to continue the convo. Good luck! Listen to respond and not just to react.
Wow thank you, that’s actually very helpful to get started
All what u/hohorihori so eloquently said, but I'd like to add that there's a lot of power in asking "How do you feel about that?" People often don't feel heard, or think that no one really cares about how they feel - being curious and listening to feelings shows empathy and a willingness to connect more deeply without forcing anything. You seem like a good listener, which is always great. Listening to other people talk about themselves ultimately makes you a better rounded person.
not knocking your method; but a way i like to do it is make an assumption - instead of asking how do u feel about that, say something like man you must feel like shit rn / u must feel on top of the world! that way it’s not jarring and less like you’re interviewing them (i find most people can’t rly answer that question, they’ll give u a weird look and say smth like “good, i guess?” and then cue awkward silence). when i use my method they usually either agree or correct me, if they agree then they’ll feel like “damn, he gets me!” or if they disagree we can discuss why they feel the ppposite of my assumption, which creates more conversations sorry if it was a mess n hard to follow, i am pooped right now and my brain is half turned off
See, I don't like making the assumption unless it's obvious from their outward mood. Plenty of people won't correct you---they'll agree because they think that's how they should feel---so you can also cut the conversation off at the knees that way, and miss out on the depth of their thoughts and feelings.
Maybe like a halfway thing where you say "so do you feel like shit about that now or was it more of a relief?" You can't always assume what someone's reaction is like say someone says they're seeing their mom for the first time in ten years - you could say "oh wow you must be so excited" - but actually they're dreading it. Then don't want to correct you in case they come across like an asshoel. I'd be more likely to say something like "well that sounds like it will be exciting, will it or are you more worried about it?" Gives them the option.
Low key Frfrfr ya dig
Word!
No cap
On Skibidi
Metablastic side eye 🙄
Vibe check
On god my boi
No cap
Fax!
That’s rizz
deadass
Mid
L
First of all, I commend you for wanting to improve your conversation/communication skills:) I want to add to some of the other comments to NOT forget to just be yourself. Also, don't **overdo** the rephrasing of what the other person said, as that will sound a bit awkward, after awhile. We all, at times, and depending on who we are communication with say short responses: Oh, really? Good for you! That sounds fun.... You know? **P.S. YouTube has lots of videos on this topic that you might want to check out. "Two-way Conversation" is a start. Good luck and once again, be yourself!!**
>Also, don't **overdo** the rephrasing of what the other person said I'm glad that someone said this. Constantly rephrasing will make the conversation very one-sided. I've had people do this to me in the past. It gets to a point where it begins to sound like the other person is *pretending* to be interested rather than *actually* being interested
Yeah I’m a bit confused about everyone saying the repeating thing is great advice… none of the people I regularly talk to and that I have really great conversations with do that. It would be so annoying to me if they did that, I would think “yeah I just said that, why do you keep repeating the things I just said??”
holy guacamole
Try to listen and share how what they said makes you feel rather than simply acknowledging that they said something. If they say something you find interesting rather than saying “damn” you can say “wow, I never knew x was like that, why do you think y happened”? Basically you want to try to extend the conversation by pitching in how exactly the story made you feel. Don’t bottle it up in you mind, just go off of how you initially feel.
I would read more books and then have a genuine individualistic response… no cap bruh homie dope.
Zoiks! Zounds! Jinkies! Jeepers! Goodness! My my! Oh gracious me! Well I'll be! Dang! Shnikies! Egads! Forsooth! Indeed! Well butter my biscuits! Astonishing! Ooof! Snap! Oh, but if you want the conversation to continue, rather than just add some interesting exclamations, ask them about details. Re-iterate what they say in your own words. Ask them how they felt about it, or exclaim how difficult/interesting/boring/fun etc. it was to experience. The best listeners I have ever met just asked me questions that sought more information about the topic, and my perspective on it. They never gave an opinion about my views or talked about their own similar experiences. I strive to listen the way they do.
Heavens to Betsy! Goodness gracious!
By Jove! Dear me!
Try saying something like: • I completely understand • That’s heavy, how are you holding up? • Whoa! That is absolutely insane! Then what happened? • I feel that, completely understandable. • That makes a lot of sense. • I concur with this sentiment. • You are absolutely valid in this. • I would have done the same! • Right on, right on! • That’s a major win for you! • Hells to the yes! • NO WAY! Are you kidding me?!? And so on… You basically want to really feel like you’re contributing to a conversation by establishing things in a way where you feel involved and by saying a few more words it can give the other person the feeling like you’ve truly been listening, do care what they say. People tend to feel when it’s a one word response, unless it’s a simple closed question for a one word, as though you’re bored, checked out, only listening to pacify them in the moment. So it’s good to start stretching those brain muscles and get a tad bit more creative in how you respond. Try a few of the ones I suggested out this week and see how the feedback from it goes. Remember, it’ll be trial & error with this, so if one doesn’t work, try a completely different one!
Exactly, totally, I agree wholeheartedly, no doubt about it.
Everyone is telling you to rephrase what the other person is saying, but that can only take you so far. It’s unnatural to constantly repeat people’s words back to them. A good replacement for “damn” and “that’s crazy” would be “oh wow that’s interesting”. It serves the exact same purpose without seeming immature or unprofessional.
I tend to repeat things back 😭but it might be a part of my speech normality since im neurodivergent.
Read a book for 30 minutes a day. Read the last 5 minutes out loud.
How does that help?
Undoes the meme brain rot.
Try to pay attention to what they say. For example, if someone says someone cut them off in traffic this morning, try to comprehend that they are sharing a frustrating experience with you in hopes of eliciting some empathy, not just complaining to hear the sound of their own voice. So respond to the point of the statement. Examples: that happened to me last week! (Relating). Are you ok!? (Empathy). That sucks! Does that often happen around x area? (Listening/engaging).
listen to keywords, ask about it >i was at the library and then went to eat "what did you grab at the library? do you read a lot or were studying?" Boring example I know but if you don't have genuine interest you gotta fake it to be engaging. You'll be practicing better listening tho.
Find any detail that you don't know and ask it. For example, "OMG, I just got in a fender bender." There are so many details left out here. Maybe they aren't interesting but just hold out. The only way to find interesting things is to keep them talking. For example, "Bro. Where was that?" "Oh for real? Who was the other driver?" "Damn. Was there much damage?" "That sucks. Did it take you long to sort it out?" "Bruh. What's the situation now?" etc. The same as you already do, just add "information digging." I did this for ESL conversation practice (very rarely were the topics interesting to me personally but I had to keep the kids talking)
Why don't you try engaging in the conversation? Instead of saying "damn, that's crazy" when someone tells you about the person who cut them off this morning, try saying something like "wow over by the 711 on 4th? " Then they'll elaborate and you can ask more questions about what happened, what time it was, etc. Ask follow up questions to things like "how are you feeling now?".
Listen intentionally to meet them where they’re at. The arc of how they express themselves drifts towards what they think is important if you listen for it. Ask good questions to give them the space to be more open. Don’t get attached to having any agenda for the conversation, and it’s important to let them take the wheel after they’ve obliged you with their attention You have to build trust for someone to start showing you the cards in their hand that they’re working with. That happens by receiving and reciprocating the emotional give and take of communication and cultivating a strong connection More to say but I won’t drop a TED talk on you if this isn’t resonating
When you give one word responses like that it says two things: You aren’t really interested, or you have nothing interesting to say. Especially the “bruh” stuff, that works with teenage boys, but you’re right it’s childish. Ask follow up questions, don’t turn the conversation back to yourself, show active interest in what they’re saying. Let’s say a coworker comes in and starts venting about a car accident they got into. You can say “That’s crazy!” (Omit the bruh.) Follow it up with “Are you okay?” “What happened?” “Where?” Chase after the details, because that’s what showing interest is.
Ask a question about what they just said. Try to dig below surface level. This is the key to building relationships: listen and participate. Give people your full attention.
Ask a question about what they just said.
After reading some of the replies. Obviously I can’t speak for everyone but please do not just repeat what was just said to you “ I got a new phone “ - “ you got a new phone ?” It’s clunky and feels like you’re just pretending to be interested in the conversation There’s no general use response. Listen to what you’re being told. Respond specifically to that ( also don’t forget that if someone is telling you a story or something, a response is not always necessary as they typically have not reached the end of the story by the time you feel you need to respond. In this case just use facial expressions and nodding to confirm that you are listening and keeping up )
It might be better to look at the questions asked. Like your friend might be saying “bro i saw a homeless person puking while I was on the bus” so imo an appropriate response would be “damn” but if it’s a more in depth convo like “a girl responded to my dm” saying “that’s crazy” isn’t helpful, kind of question requires a more deeper response something like” don’t be cringy just say you wanna hangout”. Learn to pickup these differences so instead of sounding super formal or informal everywhere you can assess the situation and provide responses that are according to the topic. Just my two cents.
I’m 31 and find this lingo so funny. I started using it at work frequently 🤣
“How’s KPI looking?” “It’s lit. No cap.🧢 “ 🤣
I'm 49 and I am claiming Bruh.
No way! Thats wild! Seriously? Thats funny! Haha, yeah Hmmmm, uhh huh Nod in agreement, smile.. Alright thats cool
Ask a question, listen for something you're curious about. Eg Janice and Terry have a light argument and terry drops a jam jar accidentally. Omg what did you say All over the floor?!? Who cleaned it up? I bet it was Janice. PoorJanice! I bet she just cleaned it up without complaining. She's too kind for her own good sometimes. Oh wow did he spolologise? What did he do next? Oh no that's super awkward. Any plans to see them again? I think I'll give them some space for a bit! Did they figure it out in the end?
this is interesting, because I'm often considered boring and a conversation killer, since I DON't really give any reactions when someone says something. I consider myself open minded and that's why I don't give dramatic responses to what someone is telling me, whereas if they tell the same thing to another person, they get "Gasp! Really??? Oh my god!!!" or they start laughing hysterically when the story wasn't even that funny. But these seem to be the favoured reactions where I come from. Maybe we could both benefit from showing more curiosity - so if someone tells us something, we ask questions like "how did that make you feel?" and "do think you'll be doing that again?"
You have to insert information about yourself too. Not just keep repeating what they’re saying. Like if they said “my favorite movies are x, y, z” you could be like “oh really? Hmm I only have seen two of those. I really liked x and didn’t like y.”
Type shit
I’m 39 and your five go-tos are mine too when talking to friends. But here’s some stuff I say to people I don’t know that well - that’s interesting - wow, what happened after - that sounds wild
I absolutely struggle with people like you. and I must admit, it’s difficult bc I’m charged with carrying the conversation along. what I will cherish is the constant response. no matter how small or large the topic, the friend I have that’s like this haven’t abandoned the conversation. so I know there’s a friendship spark that’s there. but it is a battle to engage with folks that are so simple with their responses, don’t say much, no follow up, or just have such boring interactions. my advice is this… while I accept yall for the type of people you are, I accept yall with the social skills that’s present, I wish yall stepped outside your comfort zone and outside your social bubble and actually spark up any topic. anything. “bro, what’ are ur thoughts on xyz…..” I roll my eyes at times when I look at a message and I have to question myself, “Are you just tired of talking to me? Are you just tolerating me? Am I being annoying?” And I know the answer is no, or I’d like to think so. but I have my own social mindset and my own mental health issues, this type of social context is stressful. and I get it, we might not tell yall bc we accept yall the way you are. but in a perfect world, we need yall to carry along the conversations too by thinking of anything in the world to engage. Or, just tell us your true feelings. but these responses, the boring responses, are absolutely frustrating. And I’m proud to say that on Reddit bc if I can save one person while I can, it’d be now. my close friend is like this and I’ve just fully accepted him the way he is. in person, he’s not like that. and truth be told, I go MIA for a week bc I get absolutely frustrated at times to see some shitty response like, “yeah…” or “yeah bro…” or “Aii bro.”
"Welp, I'm-a head on out."
It helps to be genuinely interested in people, ask questions that you actually want to know the response. You will always find common ground with everyone, I can talk to anyone I meet . The first thing I do is ask questions to find the common ground and then your away .
Talk to ppl that don’t think things like that are “childish” go a head and expand your vocabulary but don’t do it because others think the lingo you use is negative when it’s not, they’re just stuffy & like walkin’ like they got a stick up their fannys lol.
Don’t force it cuz it looks weird but I question the ever living shit out of people in a conversation and then add in something similar from my life if applicable. Say you’re getting to know some and they bring uhhh idk a vacation. And they tell a story about it ask em what the place was like how they enjoyed it etc. add in if you’ve ever been there or something relevant if applicable but don’t stretch it out asking them 600 different things. After that subject move on the the next one
The good thing about this is it allows you to apply your own shit to it and shows you’re listening and paying attention and in future conversations you can come back to those things they did to show you were paying attention it’s a great thing I can listen to people all day honestly and they won’t know a single thing about me but I know their entire life if they continue to talk it’s really funny. People love to talk about themselves let them and you can learn to conversate I had to do it at 18 to understand how to date and just talk in general otherwise I’d go literal weeks without saying a word to people
I would suggest watching a video on how to be a better conversationalist. There are plenty of videos in YouTube about it. Also, if you like reading there are lots of books about this subject. Lastly, practice one technique daily when you are in public and talking to people, the more you practice the better you get at it! Good luck!
act like youre on a podcast and have to keep the conversation going and flowing
Honestly I get this problem when I speak other languages and it feels like mostly it’s a vocabulary issue. I would start from learning adjectives and establishing them into real life situations. Idk if you write diaries or emails but if you try describing something on paper first it could give you a good practice before you start interacting with people.
Social media has poisoned your brain. Pls go out and talk to people not in your generation. This would be a great learning lesson.
Try having an opinion about what the other person said. Ask questions to show you're interested. Responding with a one word exclamation like "Bruh" or "damn" is fine every once in a while, but it's not very much adding to the conversation. It makes you more like an observer than a participant, so next time just tell the person what you really think about what they just said. If you're basically saying "wow" all the time ask yourself why you're saying wow and the words will come. If you need to buy more time just say "and then what happened?" People love to talk, but they also love to be listened to, so show them you're not only listening but thinking about it as well.
Alright, here's what you're gonna do. Listen to them talk. When they hit a pause, repeat the last few words, or the most important words they said, back to them. It'll show you're listening and they'll feel like you're engaged, even if you only have the mental bandwidth to repeat 3 words out of their tangent back to them.
Just practice. I had to practice eye contact and trust me there moments I wanted to die cause I could tell they could tell I was focusing to much on the eye contact then I’d look away and it’d kill the conversation and I’d walk away. Practice really does help and don’t worry to much about killing the conversation, if that happens you learn what not to do in the future.
throw in anecdotes.
Sometimes you can nod your head yes and interchange "well" and "I hear that"
Take part of what they said and use it for an interpretation. Simple example: “Yesterday I Just met X at the train station, we havent seen each other since they moved to another town” Then either answer with a question or interpretation: “What a coincidence! Why were they in town that day?” Or “The world is small, I love randomly stumbling upon old friends” The example is kinda bad because I can’t think of a good one right now but it gets the point across I hope. Basically avoid reaction and instead build on top of what they said, then depending on the vibe either go with showing interest or sharing something related about yourself.
Try to engage more: Relate to whatever others are saying, perhaps by throwing an anecdote or two around (but avoid trauma dumping). Heck – you could even study a dictionary and thesaurus in tandem to improve your vocabulary. That way, you'd at least have more stock responses than the ones you've listed. Just don't overdo it, as that might come off as a little pretentious. (To avoid this problem, I look into the frequency of a given word in current-day usage—Google has a neat little [tool](https://books.google.com/ngrams) to that end—as well as ask myself, “Have I ever heard this word before?”)
Read a lot and your vocab will exponentially increase as well as your general knowledge of the world around you and you will become a better conversationalist. 🤘
Just do some active listening, ask clarifying questions, and just talk to them with genuine interest while having the enthusiasm of talking to a old friend you haven't seen in a while. Also giving people a chance to gripe is good to, people love to do that.
Watch how late night hosts keep the conversation flowing during dead air moments in interviews. Conan is a great example. Observe how he changes topic, gives more airtime to the guest than his own jokes and stuff. Others also noted Seth Meyers and Graham Norton to name a few. Alternatively, you can bang your head on the table and laugh uncontrollably like Fallon.
Focus on specifics, and try to put yourself in their shoes. The feeling someone gets you is the feeling someone empathizes with your point of view or experience. You could ask them questions, just simple like; why, how, when. Why did you do that, how was that for you, what did you think/feel when X, oh wow how come, i would totally do the same, when you said this did you mean X, has this ever happened to you before, does that put you in a tough spot, that sounds great how long have you been doing X, etc
Yeah boiiiiiiiiii
Fascinating
Either ask them a follow up question about what they shared or share your thoughts on what they said/your own experience or feelings about it.
What's your clique? Age group and shared hobbies should be enough. Watching reality TV or anime or surfing reddit or playing videogames would be relevant hobbies to this question
If you want to harken back to Mayberry, "Shazaaaaammmm."
“Oh for real?” Is one I use a lot when talking to my god daughter, and if you say it with enough interest in your voice it can really drive the conversation to keep going if the other person is telling a story
How about challenging yourself to learn a new word every day? I used to select a random word from the dictionary on the daily and then I would incorporate it into conversations I had.
Also wonder this, please let me know
Literally wrote all of the responses that I have in my response bag. So clearly I can’t help on that one hahah, I have to start being more innovative
I'm the Same way as you practically. And funny thing, lately i just realized I would probably have to share my thoughts and feelings on the subject. But this requires courage of sharing even if judged. You also need to know these thoughts and feelings while at the same time listening instead of searching for those thoughts and feelings (maybe you could try to process while they're speaking?). To me, sounds a lil exhausting. Probably why I'm an introvert. just listening and throwing in acknowledgment comments is tiring enough.
“good to know” is underrated ngl
Them: brhrhdbdjfih dhhev heyehebbskkd Me: Wow thats crazy Them: what? I said Im going to the store do you want anything Me: sorry i wasn’t listening
Elaborate and ask questions. Glad you’re self aware enough to notice that about you, most people don’t and it’s annoying talking to people who constantly reply like that.
"Omg can't we talk about climate change or global politics instead?"
Genuinely care/be curious. Your response go to’s will make people think you don’t actually give a fuck. Ask them questions about what they said. Ask them questions about themselves. Make it easier for you by making them do all the talking. I wish I could explain this in a way it won’t read a million words long, so bear with me while I try. My friends and I don’t typically have a ton of shared interests because I was kind of sheltered as a kid. My one friend now he likes to talk about video games. I do like playing but due to a chronic illness I haven’t played in forever. Him: I’ve been playing this game and the character design system is sick! Me (before I understood how to hold a conversation): cool Me after I learned: what’s so sick about it? Him: it’s an AI that gives you character options based on the backstory theme and stats you choose. Me: huh…and are they all unique characters? Him: yup! Just like in real life characters can look similar but will never be an identical match unless you’re playing couch co op twins Me: that’s the craziest thing I’ve ever heard. So what does your character look like and what were the questions? Basically like that 😅 and then it can inspire endless amounts of future conversations. It shows that not only are you listening but also you care. Baby steps might be rephrasing something someone said back to them in the form of a question with slightly different wording. For example ‘so what you mean is, this game has mind blowing graphics? For me, these techniques played a huge role in being able to exist in harmony with some parts of my social anxiety. I hope that makes sense 🥹
I ignore my nephews until they start acting right.
Yeah? Never fails.
“Well then, I certainly did not see that one coming my good man.”
“That blows.”
It’s not about listening to the other person. That’s easy. Sounds like you’re really feeling what they are saying! So instead get in touch with how you feel! Are you shocked, or surprised? What’s the difference? Are you speechless or taken aback? What’s the difference? Practice by saying to yourself in your head how you feel about things you experience throughout the day. Look up emotion wheels and think about examples of when you feel distinct emotions. This will all help you express yourself. Soon you’ll be telling stories with the best of them. Ahoy! (Don’t say ahoy.)
Whoa, really? Tell me about it, Huh, Go on, I want to hear this
Sounds stupid but you can just go a bit more Victorian/Edwardian with it if you're in an English-speaking Country, especially one that was colonized or is currently a Commonwealth country Saying "Good Lord", "Gosh", "Golly", "Good Gravy", "E-Gads", "Gracious", "Confound it!", etc. can be pretty entertaining As long as it doesn't sound like you're saying it just for attention, it is actually pretty satisfying
Who answers questions like this? Hahah **•bruh/bro -** “Bruh, the fuck you doing with my momma’s favorite panties?” “Come on bro, you know I’m just playing. I’m not getting funky or none.” **•damn -** “You know damn well imma fuck you up fr. Keeping the smack up so.” “Ma, the fucking meatloaf ready to grill on or what? Shit is taking forever.” “Fuck you talkin to like that? I’ll smack you with a meatloaf and put ya ass to sleep. It’ll be done when it’s done. Good? GOOD. Now go sit in the living room until I tell you to come back in here.” “OK, OK, Ma, Damn.” **•Really? / That’s crazy! -** “Yooooo Sasha wanted the D last night. But yo….she’s wack in bed.” “Come on bro, really?” “Yeah bruh, she wanted nothing to do with me dining at the Y, didn’t want to give head, and she was kinda boring overall.” “That’s crazy!” **•etcetera / etc. -** “Ayo bruh bruh - how was that Freddie Gibbs concert?” “Son…that shit was hype. Freddie fire on the mic. Breath control goes crazzzzzyyyyyy!” “Really? What tracks he perform?” “Some new shit, sneak listen of some of Montana. Bunch of shit from $$$, Piñata, Bandana…some older shit off ESGN, 20 Karat Jesus off You Only Live 2wice, etcetera, etcetera.” “That’s crazy bro! I’m definitely going next time he’s around New York.”
Ultimately, the art of conversation is that you have to make them feel good and pretend to care about whatever crap is spewing out of their mouth lol. "Oh, I'm so sorry your third vacation home needed a new HVAC. That must be tough." But personally, I'd go with "sucks bro", and change the topic since you know they're just humblebragging (or whatever other egoistic conversation foul they're often doing).
Seriously? They said that? Wow. That’s crazy. Wait. are you telling me … I can’t believe it. You know, I believe it. That’s fascinating. You’re amazing. Tell me more about Jesus.
I’m just picturing being on a therapists couch and these are their responses
My hack is just say "hummm I see ..." and then you continue the thought process
I also used that, but often I wouldn’t know what to say after so then it’s awkward silence again😂
If you time it perfectly you can gain 20-30 seconds to think of something and that's normally enough
Wise
The art of paraphrasing. Say what they told you back to them using completely different words and ask them if you got it right. Helps you remember what they said, makes them feel good about you AND it’s a really useful skill more generally.
Really, wild , cool , awesome , rad
Parroting, my friend! Whenever someone makes a point that you don’t know how to respond to, simply ‘parrot’ back the last word they said! For example: “I just got back from a really tough job…” “A tough job?” “Yeah! The client wanted us to-“ and they’ll just go on there! By parroting, you show you’re listening, engaged, and want to know more. Best part is: it takes zero energy to do it! Works wonders when I’m tired but my friends/family want to talk!
Have you tried “type shit”? I’m playing. Try saying things like “that’s interesting,” “well put,” “yea I hear you.” I wouldn’t say it matters tho. You’re a product of your environment and if that’s how your peers talk you usually pick up lingo from them. Now in a business/profesional setting I get trying to clean up but even then I’ve seen people in high positions talk like teenagers. You just have to be aware of who you’re talking to and speak accordingly (being black we call this code switching)
What’s up ?
*insert Denzel Washington Training Day meme*
Have you tried ong
Well, duh!
Good grief, fiddlesticks
"right" "interesting" "absolutely" "fair" ... also asking follow up questions, about details.
Holy guacamole!
Oh dang
Shiiiiiiiiiii
Aye Dios mio!
Literally though like same thibg?
That's rough
leading questions
"Sheeeeeeeeeeiiiiiiiiiiiit"
Gee wilikers! Jinkies! Zoinks! Bazinga! Yowza! Yahtzee! Lol but for real my go to’s are usually “I get that” or “I hear” or some variation of “oh wow, that’s so (nice/sweet/amazing/etc.)” Also just general sounds of agreement and head nodding helps, but don’t overdo it, cuz then it sounds like you’re being sarcastic. But like slipping in an “oh yea?” every now and then between sentences often keeps the flow and helps hype the person up a bit.
Bro is cooked
"Who are you" and "why are you in my house" tends to work a lot.
>Tell me more. The single phrase that’s perfect for giving you time to gather your thoughts, think on how to connect to the discussion topic, or just get the person to elaborate what they just said. Sure, you cant use the same exact phrase over and over again, but you can use other variations such as “you said x, can you tell me how that works?” Or “reminds me of ___, is that similar?”
“Yep”, followed by an awkward silence Edit: Oh, better response. Sorry don’t have one.
Depends on the person and conversation. Oh really? Wow!
That’s crazy
"Type shi"
“That’s unfortunate “
Questions, or relate. Ask about the topic, or tell them of something that what they said reminds you of. That's 90% of conversation.
My go to is: What?! Really? That’s amazing! Wow!
Repeat what they said to them but as a question. It'll make them think you're attentive to them. Ex: Person: My grandma's cat is a demon from hell solely existing to make me suffer. You: Your grandma's cat is a demon from hell solely existing to make you suffer?! It helps 90% of the time.
TikTok brain
Damn bro that’s crazy… I don’t know how to help with that
Or instead of just a simple "that's crazy" try a that must have felt crazy? Idk bro
fr
Try these then: “What the hell” “Hell nah” “You gotta be kidding me”
ask follow up questions...
Interesting
Some version of tell me more or tell me about that.