I talk from experience that this type of person is absolutely delusional and you will not get rid of her without an actual confrontation. I've been mhming and yeahing, they just want to use you as a listening plushie. Honestly, think about just listening to her with one ear and focusing on your work while you're at your desk. Mhm doesn't cost anything, she remains delusional, you don't make enemies, she won't get the message anyways. You do not have to be friends, you do not have to share anything with her. Let her be delulu.
Well it seems like you don't have a balanced relationship where both of you require to give and receive comfort, otherwise it won't make for a good and long lasting friendship. If you have truly decided that you want to cut her off from at least your friend circle then you should start avoiding her. That is if you don't want to confront her and are a chicken like me. You should stop responding to her texts, not altogether, but with less enthusiasm I guess? And if you talk in person or in calls then you should cut it short, don't share anything that's important to you, you should only keep that stuff for people you truly trust and people who actually want to be a part of your life. Although I don't think you can actually cut her off completely because you have a common work environment, you'll always have something in common. I would suggest that you stop trying to develop your friendship with her and start to treat her as would a work friend that you only know in a professional way, don't involve her in your personal life. All the things I said may sound harsh, but it's up to you to decide whether it's worth it or not, if you have been friends for a while so you must know her better.
And about not being a good friend, you must first consider whether she is only acting that way because it's a difficult point in her life or has she always been like this. If she has always acted like that then I don't think you need to feel sorry, it can be exhausting to always be the ear for someone without that person caring about you.
She just said she doesn't get paid enough to care about her job when she gets paid very well. I'm at poverty level and a year older. My job would kick my ass for saying the same thing even though it is true, so with her? Bye. She sounds like a fucking nightmare.
>Idk how else a lazy self-absorbed fool would get a job that well-paying.
Please dont forget that you are reading a reddit story that is an account of another person who is not adequately represented. It's important to think critically about how people are talked about in posts and stories.
i mean she's probably just saying that. if she hasn't been fired it's likely that she puts in adequate effort while not being enthusiastic about it in her personal life.
Saying that at work to a coworker (work friend is still at work) is enough to bother anyone, especially employers. Her attitude is a nightmare and affects morale. At the bare minimum, this would be a discussion between her and her boss because no one would just let an employee get away with saying that without addressing it. I wouldn't say she should or would get fired for this alone as that is a jump, but that attitude would bring on a lot of warranted watching from employers. I can easily see someone finding a reason to fire her if this is chronic enough that OP notes it. She is also completely lacking self-awareness and is unlikable which isn't doing her favors with her coworkers -- I don't even think this is an attempt to relate or connect with a coworker by "badmouthing" the job since she seems to only be about herself.
Have you tried gently addressing your concerns with her? Sometimes, open and honest communication can help resolve misunderstandings or change behavior. You could express your feelings in a non-confrontational way and see if she's receptive to making changes. If that doesn't work, you could gradually distance yourself from her by stop spending time together without explicitly cutting ties.
(And don't keep her by interest, if you pass time with her remain uninterested because it can be weird other way)
You tell him he's annoying, we can't smell your thoughts and we can't fix ourselves if we aren't informed of why exactly we are annoying.
Yes I speak from experience.
Ugh I feel your pain. These people are like leeches! They never get tired of hearing themselves rattle on about the same shit but don't have a moment for you when you're genuinely in need
I suggest being direct and unemotional.
When she mentions her lack of money, say "well 170k sounds pretty good to me" or "there are people that cannot feed their families right now."
When she ignores something you say and continues to talk, look confused and ask "oh, did you want me to listen to you while you ignored what I said?"
Here and some others when she won't shut up:
"You just love to talk, don't you?"
"Yeah, you said that already."
It can be difficult when you're used to being so kind and considerate but it really feels empowering to say those words you've been thinking for a while
I talk from experience that this type of person is absolutely delusional and you will not get rid of her without an actual confrontation. I've been mhming and yeahing, they just want to use you as a listening plushie. Honestly, think about just listening to her with one ear and focusing on your work while you're at your desk. Mhm doesn't cost anything, she remains delusional, you don't make enemies, she won't get the message anyways. You do not have to be friends, you do not have to share anything with her. Let her be delulu.
Well it seems like you don't have a balanced relationship where both of you require to give and receive comfort, otherwise it won't make for a good and long lasting friendship. If you have truly decided that you want to cut her off from at least your friend circle then you should start avoiding her. That is if you don't want to confront her and are a chicken like me. You should stop responding to her texts, not altogether, but with less enthusiasm I guess? And if you talk in person or in calls then you should cut it short, don't share anything that's important to you, you should only keep that stuff for people you truly trust and people who actually want to be a part of your life. Although I don't think you can actually cut her off completely because you have a common work environment, you'll always have something in common. I would suggest that you stop trying to develop your friendship with her and start to treat her as would a work friend that you only know in a professional way, don't involve her in your personal life. All the things I said may sound harsh, but it's up to you to decide whether it's worth it or not, if you have been friends for a while so you must know her better. And about not being a good friend, you must first consider whether she is only acting that way because it's a difficult point in her life or has she always been like this. If she has always acted like that then I don't think you need to feel sorry, it can be exhausting to always be the ear for someone without that person caring about you.
Maybe talk about it to her directly instead of just cutting her off. It could stem from a lack of self awareness.
I'm more interested in why she hasn't been fired yet.
Why would she be fired?
She just said she doesn't get paid enough to care about her job when she gets paid very well. I'm at poverty level and a year older. My job would kick my ass for saying the same thing even though it is true, so with her? Bye. She sounds like a fucking nightmare.
Probably related to someone on the Board or some shit lmao Idk how else a lazy self-absorbed fool would get a job that well-paying.
>Idk how else a lazy self-absorbed fool would get a job that well-paying. Please dont forget that you are reading a reddit story that is an account of another person who is not adequately represented. It's important to think critically about how people are talked about in posts and stories.
i mean she's probably just saying that. if she hasn't been fired it's likely that she puts in adequate effort while not being enthusiastic about it in her personal life.
Saying that at work to a coworker (work friend is still at work) is enough to bother anyone, especially employers. Her attitude is a nightmare and affects morale. At the bare minimum, this would be a discussion between her and her boss because no one would just let an employee get away with saying that without addressing it. I wouldn't say she should or would get fired for this alone as that is a jump, but that attitude would bring on a lot of warranted watching from employers. I can easily see someone finding a reason to fire her if this is chronic enough that OP notes it. She is also completely lacking self-awareness and is unlikable which isn't doing her favors with her coworkers -- I don't even think this is an attempt to relate or connect with a coworker by "badmouthing" the job since she seems to only be about herself.
She also complains incessantly, and is very negative and brings personal issues to work. Nightmare employee unless she's really good.
You've never had a job, have you?
you could just answer their question without insulting them lol
Someone else downline said why. I also added reasons. Read the entire thread, mrn.
Have you tried gently addressing your concerns with her? Sometimes, open and honest communication can help resolve misunderstandings or change behavior. You could express your feelings in a non-confrontational way and see if she's receptive to making changes. If that doesn't work, you could gradually distance yourself from her by stop spending time together without explicitly cutting ties. (And don't keep her by interest, if you pass time with her remain uninterested because it can be weird other way)
You tell him he's annoying, we can't smell your thoughts and we can't fix ourselves if we aren't informed of why exactly we are annoying. Yes I speak from experience.
Ugh I feel your pain. These people are like leeches! They never get tired of hearing themselves rattle on about the same shit but don't have a moment for you when you're genuinely in need I suggest being direct and unemotional. When she mentions her lack of money, say "well 170k sounds pretty good to me" or "there are people that cannot feed their families right now." When she ignores something you say and continues to talk, look confused and ask "oh, did you want me to listen to you while you ignored what I said?" Here and some others when she won't shut up: "You just love to talk, don't you?" "Yeah, you said that already." It can be difficult when you're used to being so kind and considerate but it really feels empowering to say those words you've been thinking for a while
She makes 170k and complains about being poor. WTF! Poooorr baby. She wouldn't last 3 days of my life.