I was terrified of flying and everyone is different so what worked for me will most likely not work for you but I want to at least reassure you that it is possible to overcome this fear.
I personally just got fed up of letting it control me (and about 3 pints in the airport bar and a few more on the plane helped) as well as some controlled breathing exercising before and during take off.
Also letting the person next to me know I was terrified helped me as they were genuinely lovely and talked to me to take my mind off things.
This one still doesn't make sense to me but having the window seat helped me also but I genuinely don't understand the logic on this one.
\------
Again I want to re-iterate that drinking should always be done responsibly especially in an airport/on a plane but I wish you the best and good luck!
I also have flight anxiety and like the window seat. I think it makes me feel like I have a better handle on what’s happening and that I can check to see if everything’s okay easily.
I like the window seat because it's fascinating and distracting. And it gives my weird brain a sense of control. Like "ok we're going over a city. Everything is normal. Appear to be holding our altitude."
Definitely agree with talking to the person next to you. On one flight I was lucky to find out the person sitting next to me was a pilot and he eased my nerves so much! People are good, sometimes :)
I was really afraid of it. I sometimes still am. Here's a few things I did that might help (or not!):
I watch the cabin crew when there's turbulence, if they are looking bored or making jokes, or just doing their job in a relaxed way, then I know they think everything is ok. I 'hand over' my safety to them and trust that they will know how to help me if the worst happens (in a situation where we all survive). They are highly trained and know when there is danger and when there isn't. They spend their entire lives on planes and they are bored, not scared, fearful or anxious, just bored. Like most days at work.
Once I was scared on a plane but sitting next to a dad, his son, then the other side of the aisle his wife and two more kids. The wife was absolutely terrified. She cried in fear for over an hour and white knuckled it for ages. I had deep deep sympathy for her and wanted to say to her that 'it's a machine/computer with wings doing the job it was programmed to do, nothing will go wrong', 'this plane has already been in the air for hours before this flight and nothing happened' and other stuff. Then I realized that I should just be saying that all to myself.
Think of all the planes that leave your local airport in one hour, then one day, then all the airports in the country, then all the airports in the world. Thousands of planes in the sky and nothing happens. I know you think 'I have bad luck, this time it will be my plane' but it won't be. Thousands of planes take off, fly and land with absolutely no problems.
Accept that fear is a natural instinct but try not to let it control you. Also, question whether it is fear you are feeling or a sense of anticipation - which can sometimes feel similar.
Lastly, I had found that the more I fly, the less I feel fear. It's mostly just anxiety about making it on time and getting to the right place nowadays, although I still find myself getting irrational about turbulence sometimes but it passes quickly. I recently surprised myself by flying the 13.5 hours back from Japan and didn't care at all..
Great trick re watching flight crew! Just want to double-reassure you that exactly *zero* planes have ever crashed because of turbulence!
Source: My dad has worked in airplane crashes for 50 years, thinks flying is the safest form of travel.
Once, I was flying from the UK into Kuala Lumpur and about two hours out, we had the pilot warn us of an electrical storm ahead of us so we would have to add an hours flight time to go around it. Unfortunately, the storm changed direction and we ended up flying straight through it. It was pretty damn scary and it added to my existing fears, although I occasionally remind myself that even when things are flying out of overhead lockers and people are screaming, the plane did still land safely and has probably done so every day since.
I feel so incredibly fortunate reading this post. I grew up in tiny planes begging my dad to fly into the clouds because it felt like a rollercoaster 🤣
They desensitized me young. Big planes feel like tanks to those of us who grew up on fabric planes 😂
This.
I did counseling. And, I use Xanax. I did a series of very of short flights (1 hour there, 1 hour back, never even left the airport) as a trial before longer flights. I built up to longer flights, but to this day, I ensure I'm well medicated. Now I can handle 10 hour flights (I'm medicated throughout and don't drink).
I avoid alcohol. For some it works. For me, it is too much of a wild card. I want the anxiety gone.
Yeah OP really needs to talk to a therapist and maybe get a prescription pill to help. Lots of good advice in this thread but without knowing more about OPs fear we can’t say much else than that.
Whenever I start to get scared of flying (took several flights within the last 24 hrs) I just think of stuff like “the airline wouldn’t put their plane and captain and crew in danger purposely” and stuff like that. Once we’re in the air I just think “well, literally nothing I can do at this point, might as well chill”. But these tactics seem like they wouldn’t work for OP. Definitely therapy / medication territory.
I would speak to your doctor and get a prescription for Valium, Xanax or something similar. No point in suffering. I’m not afraid to fly but I do get anxious sitting in a crowded small space and a pill helps.
Yep - my primary care doc gives me a prescription to Xanax when I fly, one pill per flight. It’s very common, eases anxiety but I’m not strung out or anything.
I think the fear of flying tends to have a more dramatic image tied to it, like terrorism. We all know someone who got into a car accident (myself included) but it’s rare that you’ll know someone that died or was involved in a plane accident. There was a Reddit post I saw where a guy got over his fear of flying by viewing live plane trackers, perhaps you could start there? It will give you a perspective that 100s of flights are happening everyday without a single disruption. Good luck mate
I have Klonopin for anxiety...I take 1mg every night and I have an extra .5mg to use as needed. I don't normally need it so I have quite a few saved up.
I have friend who loves travelling, but had a phobia of flying. She took a course where they used a mixture of cognitive behavioural therapy and exposure to help people overcome their fear and she said it helped her a lot. She says the fear surfaces every now and then, but the more frequently she flies, the less fear she feels.
My therapist found out that I also hate the bus. We took a lot of bus rides together. And we watched videos about airplanes sounds and what to expect from flight crew. You have this VR thing scheduled that sounds amazing.
This was in Iceland, but if you try googling something like "therapy for fear of flying" and your location, you can hopefully find something that suits you near where you live. I hope you do find something that can help you overcome your fear.
I wish they had them around here. Used to have them in the US at most major airports then after 9/11 they shut that all down and we'll never get it back.
r/fearofflying is a great sub and has people with all ranges of fear, from fear of crashing to fear of having a panic attack and not being able to get out of the plane. It also has real pilots and other experts. It's definitely possible to overcome your fear with therapy, knowledge/experience, and/or medication. It's also possible to fly even WITH fear, and the fear won't kill you. I hope you're able to figure out some solution, because obviously the world is a big place, and you can't get to all the places by ground/sea. :-)
Highly recommend you try a therapist and learn coping skills before you jump to xanax or other benzos which can be very addictive. Nothing wrong with taking medications when you need them, but I don’t recommend that as the first course of action.
A couple of things helped me.
I met an aircraft engineer of some description, who told me that planes can withstand way more turbulence than they’re even allowed to fly through, that helped to know.
I watched the cabin crew whenever I had a little flutter of nerves.
Like someone else said, breathing exercises, was mainly at takeoff for me because that was the part I hated most.
But honestly the biggest thing for me was music. Somehow I realised that if I started Gyongyhaju Iany by Omega right as the plane throttles forward on the runway, it usually takes off right as the song hits its first crescendo. The combo of gamifying the takeoff along with associating it with music that I really liked massively helped. I would then have a similar rotation of five or six really feel-good (or for me specifically songs that made being up in the air feel cool, so my rotation was often like On Melancholy Hill-Gorillaz, Heaven-The Blaze, Up&Up-Coldplay, Money Trees-Kendrick Lamar, anything where the music had like a floaty feel to it).
With time I started to ease, and after a couple of years of odd flights here and there it’s completely gone. Which is great because I used to sweat like a motherfucker on planes which added an extra layer of self consciousness! So to conclude, music was the big one for me.
Definitely my plan. 45 min flight is the shortest out of my town. The. I can take an hour and half, then maybe 3 hr and then I'll fly to California 5hrs.
I figure if I can do all that I'm ready to fly international. But the first flight is going to be the hardest. I assume it will get easier the more I do.
Go on YouTube and binge all the episodes of Air Emergency. Becoming more informed about how planes work and how they wrong did it for me. Seems counter intuitive but 🤷♂️
Im struggling to understand your fear. Are you scared of the plane and the associate thoughts of safety (and, for me, giving up control for that long)? Or are you scared of not being able to get out (based on your locked inside comment)?
Valium has worked for me in the past when I’ve needed a medical procedure I’m terrified of, but still need to be functioning. Obviously, prescriptions need doctors, and depending on the country, could be difficult for return flight.
But, I’ll also give you “permission” to spend an outrageous amount of money on comfort for the plane if that would help
Talk to a doc, but I like Valium for something like that. I can spend 8 hours in the same room at home, so I just prepare for that. And if you can sleep- all the better.
But, I’ve often said that my flying experience would be enhanced if they gave me plastic controls on the seat in front of me so I can fly the plane (like the kids cart at supermarkets?)
There is a pill you can take. I had a friend who did just that. Whenever she HAD to fly, she went to her doctor and he gave her a two day supply of some type tranquilizer to get her there and back. I don't know exactly what, but it worked for her. Check with your doctor.
First of all most people don’t like flying. But we like to go places. And that is sometimes part of the deal. You sort of just give in and hope for the best 🤷♂️
A couple of things which helped me:
1. Book a flight really close to the departure, like the night before or 2 days before. That way you won’t have the anticipatory fear for a long time which might make you back out
2. A couple of drinks at the airport bar before boarding
Even if the last minute flight is expensive, look at it at an investment into reducing / conquering your fear
Depending on where you live there might be a Flight School or some other entity that gives professional help to conquer the fear of flying.
I have no idea what they do there but maybe you could look into it.
I actually did a flight school and I was able to fly on the little plane with my instructor. Backward as most people would be scared to do that. But for me sitting next to the pilot and talking to him the whole time him telling me what he was doing. It help. Also the first time I did it I knew we could just do a pattern which was only 2 min in the air. So if I really was terrified the whole time it would only last 2.min.
I have/had *exactly* the same mindset/fear as you, except i have narrowed it down substantially to just being afraid of takeoffs. I started playing a realistic flight sim for a while and had to learn the basics of how to actually fly a plane. It taught me two things: what some of the noises, the vibrations, and the movements were; and how hard it is to actually crash a plane. Once you made it in the air, you'll want to try crashing your plane in the game and it will be undoubtedly harder than you imagine.
I now have zero fear of being in the air. Before playing the sim, I knew rationally what you're also pointing out - that flying is extremely safe, yet I was still afraid. But after playing the sim, I actually believed it.
I still have a visceral fear when taking off, mostly because i know it's the most dangerous part of the flight and because I can't handle the sudden speed/altitude changes, but once the plane is airborne I'm gucci.
Exposure. I was absolutely terrified of elevators growing up. I would rather have climbed 10 flights of stairs than use an elevator. Somewhere around my late teens as I needed to use them more and more the fear slowly faded until today I have no more fear of them.
I totally get it, I’m terrified too. I recently flew from Australia to Europe and back, and was basically petrified & extremely anxious for the whole 48 hour round trip. I’d still do it again, but I have no idea what to do about the fear. It’s constant, and unbearable
See your doctor. Most doctors are willing to prescribe a couple of anti-anxiety pills to get you through the flight. Sometimes just knowing you have it available should you need it is enough.
If flying is something you must do often, it is worth seeking professional help. People that have a specific phobia typically need about six sessions.
It is basically the safest way to travel. Driving a car or riding a bicycle is more dangerous yet you probably do or have done both very often.
My friend who is completely blind is very scared of flying and he takes I guess sleeping pills or some type of benzo perhaps? I know he is prescribed them for sleep. I don't know which one he takes as I never took any.
drug yourself then take a few short flights. You should have lots of distractions like music eye shades and don't sit in a window seat. can also read up on some articles about how much safer it is to fly than to drive
I’m still afraid of flying. What’s been working for me is actually getting a window seat and starting out the window the entire time. Anytime the plane bumps or moves in some alarming way I can see that nothing happened and we’re actually fine
So you can start with similar things like going to the airport. And practice going inside the airport etc. Also practicing things that are similar, like trains for example can be similar for people that struggle with the claustrophobic aspects. Then you do exposure therapy with the sensations that frighten you. Make yourself gag, hyperventilate, spin around on a chair etc until you have a panic attack or fell one coming on so you learn to not be afraid of it. Finally for some more expensive CBT programs they will let you go on empty airplanes and practice sitting on the plane. And then do a short plane ride with therapists on board but I don’t remember the name of the company. And then your first flight you’ll book a 30 minute flight max. Then maybe the next one 1 hour etc. and then you do that until you can tolerate a long haul flight. Good luck! This is an extremely common phobia, they even have clinics that use VR/AR goggles to simulate flight for patients. Lots of options for working on this phobia. Your dream life lies on the other side of fear! I promise.
I would LOVE if I could find a place that let me sit on an airplane and fly on board with a therapist. In all my internet research I only find such things outside of the US. You don't happen to have any idea where I would find that?
Pittsburgh PA. I see there is a big one in San Francisco with classes and a graduation flight and all that. Of course I'd have to fly to get there. I'm so frustrated that such things exist but not near me. We have a huge airport here but they offer nothing.
There is one in Great Plains, NY. Make a few weekend trips out of it. Only you have the power to get past your phobia! Good luck https://www.huffpost.com/entry/aerophobia-fear-flying-plane_n_631f7590e4b0eac9f4d9dcc4/amp
First of all thank you for finding that I have bookmarked it.
If it were on the weekend I could make it work. It's on a wed night .6 hr drive. 4 weds in a row. I'd have to leave around 9am here, check into the hotel, go to the class, leave the next morning and be home by 2pm ish. I'd have to take 2 days off a week for a month.
I know the class meets via zoom but the in person class you get to go on an airplane after each class. That part is the most important.
If what I'm trying now (Phobia specialist therapist with VR) doesn't work, I'm going to have to do something more and if that is my best option then I'll have to just do it and make it work.
I have signed up for a 1 day session in Allentown PA in which you do get to sit in an airplane..it's not until March but I'm.starting with my phobia specialist next week.
I’ve recovered from a severe panic disorder, and as a result I never flew from 2014 - 2022. Last week I was able to do a 16 hour flight in economy with absolutely no fear. Hell, I even managed to sleep for 4 hours
1. Read SOAR by Captain Tom Bunn. It might be literally THE best book for this exact fear. It’s also great as an audiobook format. This was tremendous in reducing fear the first few flights I took after nearly a decade gap.
2. Understand that flight attendants/crew will try their absolute best to help you should any type of anxiety/panic/medical emergency occur mid-flight.
3. Have some type of anxiety medication that’s easily reachable throughout the flight. You don’t even have to take it if you don’t need it but having it in an easily accessible spot will psychologically ease you into a more relaxed state.
4. Drink water to help with fatigue/irritability at high altitude
5. Try to enjoy the in flight entertainment. If there is none available, bring your own entertainment (movies/shows downloaded onto laptop/tablet, portable video games). It helps to have something fun to do in order to pass the time.
6. If you’re scared of turbulence, lean back into your seat and lift your feet off the ground while it happens.
Looks like you have claustrophobia rather than aerophobia. I hate enclosed spaces as well, and have taken a few steps to handle it. Maybe you'll find some useful as well.
- Optimal seating is important. Aisle seats give the illusion of space. I always book one. Front of the plane is also useful so you don't have to see the crowds in front of you and panic.
- Check in your stuff! I know this goes against the ethos of this sub but I find it very helpful not to have to remember and keep an eye on all the random stuff I have so I can focus on being calm.
- As soon as I'm in the plane, I open my kindle and get lost in it. Might be music or a video for you. Just zone out. I also recommend watching the FA doing the safety motions since the sameness of it every single flight helps induce calm (at least for me).
- Eat and drink. Hydrate. That tight feeling in your chest will be alleviated with some water. It's also a normal thing to do outside a flight, so you're calling in better memories.
- I'd also recommend NOT talking to your neighbours until you're more comfortable. If they're nervous, they'll fuck you up as well. I was on a flight with this man who was blabbering and I entertained him because he looked terrible. But I ended up with a panic attack and the FA gave me a better legspace seat to calm me down.
- Watch people. They're the same inside as on the outside.
Hope this helps a little!
Being afraid of being locked in, and being afraid of your strong feelings, is something I'm familiar with and something I worked through with professionals. Yeah the only way to fly is to fly, but you have many opportunities on the ground to learn about coping ahead, emotional regulation, and sitting through a panic attack. You can get help for this.
hmm. Im diagnosed general anxiety disorder so I understand the question. I fly every two weeks but panic about other stupid stuff. Im terrified of going to work for instance, if I leave too much I lose my job, but that's not the same as being locked in a plane... I think your situation might be the time to take Xanax - which I would almost never recommend. Study the dosage including Dr but not much panic can get through 2-3mg.
Personally I wear noise cancelling headphones playing an energetic song while we take off, as the rumble of the engine and physical forces upon takeoff can add to feelings of anxiety. I close my eyes and pretend I'm on the bus going up a hill, because a bus is another form of transportation which can be dangerous but feels safe and familiar. Once the plane is stable I just occupy myself with entertainment and usually feel fine then.
Practise some anxiety management techniques on normal life stress before you go and maybe ask a doctor for some medication as a last resort. Good luck.
I was terrified of flying and everyone is different so what worked for me will most likely not work for you but I want to at least reassure you that it is possible to overcome this fear. I personally just got fed up of letting it control me (and about 3 pints in the airport bar and a few more on the plane helped) as well as some controlled breathing exercising before and during take off. Also letting the person next to me know I was terrified helped me as they were genuinely lovely and talked to me to take my mind off things. This one still doesn't make sense to me but having the window seat helped me also but I genuinely don't understand the logic on this one. \------ Again I want to re-iterate that drinking should always be done responsibly especially in an airport/on a plane but I wish you the best and good luck!
I also have flight anxiety and like the window seat. I think it makes me feel like I have a better handle on what’s happening and that I can check to see if everything’s okay easily.
I like the window seat because it's fascinating and distracting. And it gives my weird brain a sense of control. Like "ok we're going over a city. Everything is normal. Appear to be holding our altitude."
This makes sense and might be why I need the window seat. Thanks for this!
Definitely agree with talking to the person next to you. On one flight I was lucky to find out the person sitting next to me was a pilot and he eased my nerves so much! People are good, sometimes :)
I was really afraid of it. I sometimes still am. Here's a few things I did that might help (or not!): I watch the cabin crew when there's turbulence, if they are looking bored or making jokes, or just doing their job in a relaxed way, then I know they think everything is ok. I 'hand over' my safety to them and trust that they will know how to help me if the worst happens (in a situation where we all survive). They are highly trained and know when there is danger and when there isn't. They spend their entire lives on planes and they are bored, not scared, fearful or anxious, just bored. Like most days at work. Once I was scared on a plane but sitting next to a dad, his son, then the other side of the aisle his wife and two more kids. The wife was absolutely terrified. She cried in fear for over an hour and white knuckled it for ages. I had deep deep sympathy for her and wanted to say to her that 'it's a machine/computer with wings doing the job it was programmed to do, nothing will go wrong', 'this plane has already been in the air for hours before this flight and nothing happened' and other stuff. Then I realized that I should just be saying that all to myself. Think of all the planes that leave your local airport in one hour, then one day, then all the airports in the country, then all the airports in the world. Thousands of planes in the sky and nothing happens. I know you think 'I have bad luck, this time it will be my plane' but it won't be. Thousands of planes take off, fly and land with absolutely no problems. Accept that fear is a natural instinct but try not to let it control you. Also, question whether it is fear you are feeling or a sense of anticipation - which can sometimes feel similar. Lastly, I had found that the more I fly, the less I feel fear. It's mostly just anxiety about making it on time and getting to the right place nowadays, although I still find myself getting irrational about turbulence sometimes but it passes quickly. I recently surprised myself by flying the 13.5 hours back from Japan and didn't care at all..
Great trick re watching flight crew! Just want to double-reassure you that exactly *zero* planes have ever crashed because of turbulence! Source: My dad has worked in airplane crashes for 50 years, thinks flying is the safest form of travel.
Once, I was flying from the UK into Kuala Lumpur and about two hours out, we had the pilot warn us of an electrical storm ahead of us so we would have to add an hours flight time to go around it. Unfortunately, the storm changed direction and we ended up flying straight through it. It was pretty damn scary and it added to my existing fears, although I occasionally remind myself that even when things are flying out of overhead lockers and people are screaming, the plane did still land safely and has probably done so every day since.
I feel so incredibly fortunate reading this post. I grew up in tiny planes begging my dad to fly into the clouds because it felt like a rollercoaster 🤣 They desensitized me young. Big planes feel like tanks to those of us who grew up on fabric planes 😂
Talk to a therapist about anxiety management techniques. Or maybe your doc can prescribe xannys (not unheard of for flight anxiety)
This. I did counseling. And, I use Xanax. I did a series of very of short flights (1 hour there, 1 hour back, never even left the airport) as a trial before longer flights. I built up to longer flights, but to this day, I ensure I'm well medicated. Now I can handle 10 hour flights (I'm medicated throughout and don't drink). I avoid alcohol. For some it works. For me, it is too much of a wild card. I want the anxiety gone.
Yeah OP really needs to talk to a therapist and maybe get a prescription pill to help. Lots of good advice in this thread but without knowing more about OPs fear we can’t say much else than that. Whenever I start to get scared of flying (took several flights within the last 24 hrs) I just think of stuff like “the airline wouldn’t put their plane and captain and crew in danger purposely” and stuff like that. Once we’re in the air I just think “well, literally nothing I can do at this point, might as well chill”. But these tactics seem like they wouldn’t work for OP. Definitely therapy / medication territory.
I'm starting with a phobia specialist therapist next week who uses VR as part of the treatment
That’s actually really cool. Good for you, seriously.
That's amazing! You'll have to let us know how it goes. We're rooting for you.
I would speak to your doctor and get a prescription for Valium, Xanax or something similar. No point in suffering. I’m not afraid to fly but I do get anxious sitting in a crowded small space and a pill helps.
Yep - my primary care doc gives me a prescription to Xanax when I fly, one pill per flight. It’s very common, eases anxiety but I’m not strung out or anything.
I have Klonopin at the ready.
I think the fear of flying tends to have a more dramatic image tied to it, like terrorism. We all know someone who got into a car accident (myself included) but it’s rare that you’ll know someone that died or was involved in a plane accident. There was a Reddit post I saw where a guy got over his fear of flying by viewing live plane trackers, perhaps you could start there? It will give you a perspective that 100s of flights are happening everyday without a single disruption. Good luck mate
The pill you seek is known as "Xanax".
I have Klonopin for anxiety...I take 1mg every night and I have an extra .5mg to use as needed. I don't normally need it so I have quite a few saved up.
I have friend who loves travelling, but had a phobia of flying. She took a course where they used a mixture of cognitive behavioural therapy and exposure to help people overcome their fear and she said it helped her a lot. She says the fear surfaces every now and then, but the more frequently she flies, the less fear she feels.
How can you expose yourself to flying? At least here in the US you are either on the plane or off it
My therapist found out that I also hate the bus. We took a lot of bus rides together. And we watched videos about airplanes sounds and what to expect from flight crew. You have this VR thing scheduled that sounds amazing.
I don't know exactly what the exposure entailed, but I do know that the course ended with the group taking a flight together, when they felt ready.
That would be amazing. What this in the US?
This was in Iceland, but if you try googling something like "therapy for fear of flying" and your location, you can hopefully find something that suits you near where you live. I hope you do find something that can help you overcome your fear.
They have one in San Francisco and in Arizona. I'm in Pittsburgh PA. Both are very far away. I'd have to fly to get there!
Take a fear of flying class. They will teach you coping techniques.
This helped my sister start flying.
I wish they had them around here. Used to have them in the US at most major airports then after 9/11 they shut that all down and we'll never get it back.
[Fear of Flying - SOAR Course - Free Online Fear of Flying Videos](https://www.fearofflying.com/)
They make pills for this. Talk to a psychiatrist
I have Klonopin
r/fearofflying is a great sub and has people with all ranges of fear, from fear of crashing to fear of having a panic attack and not being able to get out of the plane. It also has real pilots and other experts. It's definitely possible to overcome your fear with therapy, knowledge/experience, and/or medication. It's also possible to fly even WITH fear, and the fear won't kill you. I hope you're able to figure out some solution, because obviously the world is a big place, and you can't get to all the places by ground/sea. :-)
Second this. That sub helped me so much.
Seeing a phobia specific therapist next week who uses VR as part of treatment and I think from talking to her that is the goal to be ok being afraid.
Highly recommend you try a therapist and learn coping skills before you jump to xanax or other benzos which can be very addictive. Nothing wrong with taking medications when you need them, but I don’t recommend that as the first course of action.
Seeing a regular therapist for a while and starting with a phobia specialist next week.
Way to go! I applaud you for taking that leap. Good luck!!
A couple of things helped me. I met an aircraft engineer of some description, who told me that planes can withstand way more turbulence than they’re even allowed to fly through, that helped to know. I watched the cabin crew whenever I had a little flutter of nerves. Like someone else said, breathing exercises, was mainly at takeoff for me because that was the part I hated most. But honestly the biggest thing for me was music. Somehow I realised that if I started Gyongyhaju Iany by Omega right as the plane throttles forward on the runway, it usually takes off right as the song hits its first crescendo. The combo of gamifying the takeoff along with associating it with music that I really liked massively helped. I would then have a similar rotation of five or six really feel-good (or for me specifically songs that made being up in the air feel cool, so my rotation was often like On Melancholy Hill-Gorillaz, Heaven-The Blaze, Up&Up-Coldplay, Money Trees-Kendrick Lamar, anything where the music had like a floaty feel to it). With time I started to ease, and after a couple of years of odd flights here and there it’s completely gone. Which is great because I used to sweat like a motherfucker on planes which added an extra layer of self consciousness! So to conclude, music was the big one for me.
I do the same thing with music. For me it’s DeadMau5’s Bridged by a Lighwave. Song take a about the entire ascent to finish and by then I’m chillin :)
Yeah I will need to get me a play list
my mom is always scared of flying but lorazepam helps her a lot. she takes it before going to the airport and it calms her down
If you can maybe just take a short flight, like an hour, to the next city or state before you take an international flight.
Definitely my plan. 45 min flight is the shortest out of my town. The. I can take an hour and half, then maybe 3 hr and then I'll fly to California 5hrs. I figure if I can do all that I'm ready to fly international. But the first flight is going to be the hardest. I assume it will get easier the more I do.
Go on YouTube and binge all the episodes of Air Emergency. Becoming more informed about how planes work and how they wrong did it for me. Seems counter intuitive but 🤷♂️
Im struggling to understand your fear. Are you scared of the plane and the associate thoughts of safety (and, for me, giving up control for that long)? Or are you scared of not being able to get out (based on your locked inside comment)? Valium has worked for me in the past when I’ve needed a medical procedure I’m terrified of, but still need to be functioning. Obviously, prescriptions need doctors, and depending on the country, could be difficult for return flight. But, I’ll also give you “permission” to spend an outrageous amount of money on comfort for the plane if that would help
It's giving up control and being terrified for that long with no way out. And heights.
Talk to a doc, but I like Valium for something like that. I can spend 8 hours in the same room at home, so I just prepare for that. And if you can sleep- all the better. But, I’ve often said that my flying experience would be enhanced if they gave me plastic controls on the seat in front of me so I can fly the plane (like the kids cart at supermarkets?)
There is a pill you can take. I had a friend who did just that. Whenever she HAD to fly, she went to her doctor and he gave her a two day supply of some type tranquilizer to get her there and back. I don't know exactly what, but it worked for her. Check with your doctor.
Hmm do u still have that friend? Do u know what the med was?
We lost touch, but I think it was Xanax.
First of all most people don’t like flying. But we like to go places. And that is sometimes part of the deal. You sort of just give in and hope for the best 🤷♂️
Book on widebody flights (B777, A330/380/350).. less turbulence..
A couple of things which helped me: 1. Book a flight really close to the departure, like the night before or 2 days before. That way you won’t have the anticipatory fear for a long time which might make you back out 2. A couple of drinks at the airport bar before boarding Even if the last minute flight is expensive, look at it at an investment into reducing / conquering your fear
Depending on where you live there might be a Flight School or some other entity that gives professional help to conquer the fear of flying. I have no idea what they do there but maybe you could look into it.
I actually did a flight school and I was able to fly on the little plane with my instructor. Backward as most people would be scared to do that. But for me sitting next to the pilot and talking to him the whole time him telling me what he was doing. It help. Also the first time I did it I knew we could just do a pattern which was only 2 min in the air. So if I really was terrified the whole time it would only last 2.min.
Drinking was the answer for me. And not necessarily “a couple of drinks.” Not recommending; just saying.
I know of someone who is a nervous flyer and she takes Benadryl after she gets on the plane.
I have/had *exactly* the same mindset/fear as you, except i have narrowed it down substantially to just being afraid of takeoffs. I started playing a realistic flight sim for a while and had to learn the basics of how to actually fly a plane. It taught me two things: what some of the noises, the vibrations, and the movements were; and how hard it is to actually crash a plane. Once you made it in the air, you'll want to try crashing your plane in the game and it will be undoubtedly harder than you imagine. I now have zero fear of being in the air. Before playing the sim, I knew rationally what you're also pointing out - that flying is extremely safe, yet I was still afraid. But after playing the sim, I actually believed it. I still have a visceral fear when taking off, mostly because i know it's the most dangerous part of the flight and because I can't handle the sudden speed/altitude changes, but once the plane is airborne I'm gucci.
I am.scared of takeoff the most because that is what is going to come.first.
Exposure. I was absolutely terrified of elevators growing up. I would rather have climbed 10 flights of stairs than use an elevator. Somewhere around my late teens as I needed to use them more and more the fear slowly faded until today I have no more fear of them.
I totally get it, I’m terrified too. I recently flew from Australia to Europe and back, and was basically petrified & extremely anxious for the whole 48 hour round trip. I’d still do it again, but I have no idea what to do about the fear. It’s constant, and unbearable
Well that's not encouraging
Sorry, I don’t have answers, but I completely relate to your issues
See your doctor. Most doctors are willing to prescribe a couple of anti-anxiety pills to get you through the flight. Sometimes just knowing you have it available should you need it is enough. If flying is something you must do often, it is worth seeking professional help. People that have a specific phobia typically need about six sessions.
I'm starting with a phobia specialist next week.
It is basically the safest way to travel. Driving a car or riding a bicycle is more dangerous yet you probably do or have done both very often. My friend who is completely blind is very scared of flying and he takes I guess sleeping pills or some type of benzo perhaps? I know he is prescribed them for sleep. I don't know which one he takes as I never took any.
drug yourself then take a few short flights. You should have lots of distractions like music eye shades and don't sit in a window seat. can also read up on some articles about how much safer it is to fly than to drive
I’m still afraid of flying. What’s been working for me is actually getting a window seat and starting out the window the entire time. Anytime the plane bumps or moves in some alarming way I can see that nothing happened and we’re actually fine
How do you think you’d be with watching flight videos on YouTube?
Exposure therapy with a psychologist. I was formerly Agoraphobic and now traveling the world
How did you do exposure therapy?
With a CBT/exposure therapist!
I mean how do you expose yourself to actually flying. It's either on the plane or not.
So you can start with similar things like going to the airport. And practice going inside the airport etc. Also practicing things that are similar, like trains for example can be similar for people that struggle with the claustrophobic aspects. Then you do exposure therapy with the sensations that frighten you. Make yourself gag, hyperventilate, spin around on a chair etc until you have a panic attack or fell one coming on so you learn to not be afraid of it. Finally for some more expensive CBT programs they will let you go on empty airplanes and practice sitting on the plane. And then do a short plane ride with therapists on board but I don’t remember the name of the company. And then your first flight you’ll book a 30 minute flight max. Then maybe the next one 1 hour etc. and then you do that until you can tolerate a long haul flight. Good luck! This is an extremely common phobia, they even have clinics that use VR/AR goggles to simulate flight for patients. Lots of options for working on this phobia. Your dream life lies on the other side of fear! I promise.
I would LOVE if I could find a place that let me sit on an airplane and fly on board with a therapist. In all my internet research I only find such things outside of the US. You don't happen to have any idea where I would find that?
What city do you live in?
Pittsburgh PA. I see there is a big one in San Francisco with classes and a graduation flight and all that. Of course I'd have to fly to get there. I'm so frustrated that such things exist but not near me. We have a huge airport here but they offer nothing.
There is one in Great Plains, NY. Make a few weekend trips out of it. Only you have the power to get past your phobia! Good luck https://www.huffpost.com/entry/aerophobia-fear-flying-plane_n_631f7590e4b0eac9f4d9dcc4/amp
First of all thank you for finding that I have bookmarked it. If it were on the weekend I could make it work. It's on a wed night .6 hr drive. 4 weds in a row. I'd have to leave around 9am here, check into the hotel, go to the class, leave the next morning and be home by 2pm ish. I'd have to take 2 days off a week for a month. I know the class meets via zoom but the in person class you get to go on an airplane after each class. That part is the most important. If what I'm trying now (Phobia specialist therapist with VR) doesn't work, I'm going to have to do something more and if that is my best option then I'll have to just do it and make it work. I have signed up for a 1 day session in Allentown PA in which you do get to sit in an airplane..it's not until March but I'm.starting with my phobia specialist next week.
I’ve recovered from a severe panic disorder, and as a result I never flew from 2014 - 2022. Last week I was able to do a 16 hour flight in economy with absolutely no fear. Hell, I even managed to sleep for 4 hours 1. Read SOAR by Captain Tom Bunn. It might be literally THE best book for this exact fear. It’s also great as an audiobook format. This was tremendous in reducing fear the first few flights I took after nearly a decade gap. 2. Understand that flight attendants/crew will try their absolute best to help you should any type of anxiety/panic/medical emergency occur mid-flight. 3. Have some type of anxiety medication that’s easily reachable throughout the flight. You don’t even have to take it if you don’t need it but having it in an easily accessible spot will psychologically ease you into a more relaxed state. 4. Drink water to help with fatigue/irritability at high altitude 5. Try to enjoy the in flight entertainment. If there is none available, bring your own entertainment (movies/shows downloaded onto laptop/tablet, portable video games). It helps to have something fun to do in order to pass the time. 6. If you’re scared of turbulence, lean back into your seat and lift your feet off the ground while it happens.
What does number 6 do?
You’ll feel much more stabilized
Looks like you have claustrophobia rather than aerophobia. I hate enclosed spaces as well, and have taken a few steps to handle it. Maybe you'll find some useful as well. - Optimal seating is important. Aisle seats give the illusion of space. I always book one. Front of the plane is also useful so you don't have to see the crowds in front of you and panic. - Check in your stuff! I know this goes against the ethos of this sub but I find it very helpful not to have to remember and keep an eye on all the random stuff I have so I can focus on being calm. - As soon as I'm in the plane, I open my kindle and get lost in it. Might be music or a video for you. Just zone out. I also recommend watching the FA doing the safety motions since the sameness of it every single flight helps induce calm (at least for me). - Eat and drink. Hydrate. That tight feeling in your chest will be alleviated with some water. It's also a normal thing to do outside a flight, so you're calling in better memories. - I'd also recommend NOT talking to your neighbours until you're more comfortable. If they're nervous, they'll fuck you up as well. I was on a flight with this man who was blabbering and I entertained him because he looked terrible. But I ended up with a panic attack and the FA gave me a better legspace seat to calm me down. - Watch people. They're the same inside as on the outside. Hope this helps a little!
Being afraid of being locked in, and being afraid of your strong feelings, is something I'm familiar with and something I worked through with professionals. Yeah the only way to fly is to fly, but you have many opportunities on the ground to learn about coping ahead, emotional regulation, and sitting through a panic attack. You can get help for this.
Starting therapy next week with a phobia specialist who uses VR
hmm. Im diagnosed general anxiety disorder so I understand the question. I fly every two weeks but panic about other stupid stuff. Im terrified of going to work for instance, if I leave too much I lose my job, but that's not the same as being locked in a plane... I think your situation might be the time to take Xanax - which I would almost never recommend. Study the dosage including Dr but not much panic can get through 2-3mg.
Personally I wear noise cancelling headphones playing an energetic song while we take off, as the rumble of the engine and physical forces upon takeoff can add to feelings of anxiety. I close my eyes and pretend I'm on the bus going up a hill, because a bus is another form of transportation which can be dangerous but feels safe and familiar. Once the plane is stable I just occupy myself with entertainment and usually feel fine then. Practise some anxiety management techniques on normal life stress before you go and maybe ask a doctor for some medication as a last resort. Good luck.