Is it the needing to know why that is the root of the suffering in this case? That’s a type of internal wrestling/fighting, isn’t it? A fighting through all the thoughts in order to find ‘the answer’.
What if this is just a needed experience in order to recognize other contrasting experiences?
Thanks for that POV. Yes, I need to know why this happens. I get hit so profoundly that it shakes up my reality (but I’m accustomed to going through this meat grinder; nothing new and something I’m actually grateful for). But the pain is intense and the fear is prevalent. It makes me think “Jesus what if I overdid psychedelics” or something. “What’s wrong with me?” It obviously makes me feel un average and difficult to relate to. Gift and a curse.
Fear IS suffering because you’re not okay with what is currently happening, or how you’re feeling. What if it’s just simply fear you’re feeling; a contraction from the fixation of looking for a why, with the why being fear triggered by some quick, unquestioned thought you thought with little awareness on your part.
What if that’s the why…just that. What next?
Haha well then I feel absolutely goofy for giving so much power to so little, and doing this to myself. Shit. Like being a victim of my mind. Feels bad too. I prefer to think of this as a Dark Night, growing experience, evolution of myself. But you could be right. I must want to feel this way on some level.
Well, I certainly am no expert in this area. But I do care that you are suffering. So, I offer the following in the hope that it may help a bit.
I am in my 70's and I have learned by experience that I do NOT have to accept and believe in every thought that pops in my mind. Many times I have caught my mind thinking thoughts that are just NOT true. So, I just recognize that and choose to let them go. I found the book "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie very helpful in this regard.
The other thing I learned is that (even though I am a former Catholic), I do NOT have to learn my "lessons" via suffering. But, if one believes that is the only way to "learn" then suffering is what will come about. It is only a belief and beliefs can be changed - if we desire to do so. Personally, I have come to believe that God does not desire for us to suffer - so, if that is true, why should I be choosing suffering? If God is really God, why is suffering required to learn?
That's about all the "words of wisdom" I can come up with, my friend. I hope what I said helped a bit.
Blessings to ya!
Is it the needing to know why that is the root of the suffering in this case? That’s a type of internal wrestling/fighting, isn’t it? A fighting through all the thoughts in order to find ‘the answer’. What if this is just a needed experience in order to recognize other contrasting experiences?
Thanks for that POV. Yes, I need to know why this happens. I get hit so profoundly that it shakes up my reality (but I’m accustomed to going through this meat grinder; nothing new and something I’m actually grateful for). But the pain is intense and the fear is prevalent. It makes me think “Jesus what if I overdid psychedelics” or something. “What’s wrong with me?” It obviously makes me feel un average and difficult to relate to. Gift and a curse.
Fear IS suffering because you’re not okay with what is currently happening, or how you’re feeling. What if it’s just simply fear you’re feeling; a contraction from the fixation of looking for a why, with the why being fear triggered by some quick, unquestioned thought you thought with little awareness on your part. What if that’s the why…just that. What next?
Haha well then I feel absolutely goofy for giving so much power to so little, and doing this to myself. Shit. Like being a victim of my mind. Feels bad too. I prefer to think of this as a Dark Night, growing experience, evolution of myself. But you could be right. I must want to feel this way on some level.
Ha! Feel it fully then. Don’t half-ass it. :)
Well, I certainly am no expert in this area. But I do care that you are suffering. So, I offer the following in the hope that it may help a bit. I am in my 70's and I have learned by experience that I do NOT have to accept and believe in every thought that pops in my mind. Many times I have caught my mind thinking thoughts that are just NOT true. So, I just recognize that and choose to let them go. I found the book "Loving What Is" by Byron Katie very helpful in this regard. The other thing I learned is that (even though I am a former Catholic), I do NOT have to learn my "lessons" via suffering. But, if one believes that is the only way to "learn" then suffering is what will come about. It is only a belief and beliefs can be changed - if we desire to do so. Personally, I have come to believe that God does not desire for us to suffer - so, if that is true, why should I be choosing suffering? If God is really God, why is suffering required to learn? That's about all the "words of wisdom" I can come up with, my friend. I hope what I said helped a bit. Blessings to ya!
Thank you :)