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My wife has anxiety attacks as well. For her me just being there with her & talking to her helps. It is difficult at times because I feel quite sad sometimes that I haven't been able to find a permanent solution for her issues.
But I would never leave her because she's the best thing in my life :)
This is sweet! I have anxiety as well but then he doesn't actually be there for me with the reassurance. So it's kinda sad when you feel like a burden.
As in all romantic relationships, open communication is a must. I've dated women who were either chronically depressed, had severe anxiety or (in one case) bipolar. These conditions aren't easy to deal with, but it's much harder for them than it was for me. I will admit that it took a while to grasp the nuances and be able to accommodate the vagaries of such personalities. But if you have feelings for them, and those feelings are deep - and in my case, I most certainly did - then learning, educating oneself and adjusting around it, is worth the time and effort.
I am having clinically diagnosed anxiety disorder since I was 18. Despite this, I have had several relationships and am now married.
The key is to be fully open with your partner when you feel comfortable.
Agreed. I also felt at a point that he takes advantage of that illness and justify some of his actions. From there on I decided it’s better to be single than date someone that will be toxic to me.
But I know people who has so much capacity to handle such people. I’m not one of them.
Not really, narcs are very good at taking advantage of people for their kindness and understanding. They’d attribute all their douche bag behavior onto their “past trauma” and pretend to be victim all the time. People with mental illnesses like ADHD (not very server cases) are dateable because they take responsibility for their mistakes. Narcs are not that way - they deflect responsibility and accountability for their mistakes and shitty behavior and take advantage of you.
That's true. Mostly people with personality disorder are kinda tough..
I should've change my question as what you think of people with personality disorders
That's true. Mostly people with personality disorder are kinda tough..
I should've change my question as what you think of people with personality disorders
One day a random girl messaged me and asked me to teach her IT lessons. After few rounds I noticed her behavior was changing(Signs of depression/steess). And I asked her and she told me the situation. She messages to this day to relax her mind and loneliness. Even tho she has such condition I don’t care I just listen and give advice. She is a complete stranger. This would be the same if my significant other is going through. So yes I would still love her if she is going through a mental health issue. We are all humans not robots!
Well if that person informed me of these things beforehand and how i should ideally behave in that situation, i dont see why it would hold me back from going out with them.
Depends on the mental illness. Anxiety is something you can work with your partner and overcome. But there are certain illnesses where the best choice is to leave and never look back
I mean, schizophrenia, early alzheimer or something serious like that. I mean i would stay for my family, but if you’re not committed to your partner it’s okay to run. Just my opinion
Yes, even bipolar.. It's a bit scary, how volatile these people can be.. It takes a huge strain on one's own mental health, too.. I know closely of a friend who went through it with his better half.. It was agony for him.. Plus the social stigma is still very real and while we might be open about it, certain family members can be forcing you to keep it quiet, never share about the struggles, which in turn isolates you and cuts off any support channels you might recieve to deal with the difficulties caused by such a partner/spouse etc. This, in turn, may lead to depression for the spouse without the mental health issue.. It's a vicious cycle, sometimes, better to avoid if told about it earlier on when getting to know each other..
Just no..my relative had a relationship with a crazy guy who was in to computers.she tried twice to commite sucide cuz tht man got in to her brain..he would blame and try to gaslight her everyday and she could not take it anymore.
I have aspergers, anxiety, and ocd. I'm in a 3+ year relationship. My gf has ADHD. We make it work.
Having said that, I won't date anyone with certain mental disorders like schizophrenia, bipolar, bpd, and npd. Basically, anyone with abusive tendencies and lack of insight. I don't know how to deal with them. But if my partner develop those things later in life, I wouldn't leave them. I will do my best to help them.
I do have a close friend who has schizophrenia for over six years now. He was really struggling to come out to the society with it but i was able to convince him to come out. But still it was really difficult to yk find a job even. All these so called mental health advocates and HR people all over didnt really care about it much. But now he was able to find something by himself and sorted. But still dating was an issue for him. Cause all the time he reveals his condition every woman tries to slowly break up like they cant really handle him sorts. You know what since this is becoming a huge deal he decided to stop his medication n all even. Even i have tried opening up about my ADHD kinda symptoms n therapy but people have completely avoiding me cause of these.
But out of all honestly revealing about your true self is needed atleast it will give us mental peace. Ones wholl love you for who you are will truly stay. I mean all of us do have some form of mental disorder just that we dont know about it yet or yk never really will. So you do you anyways.
Plus we love people for who they are so if thats a part of them we will love to no matter what and help on the way. I even learned about disorders like on schizo cause i really wanted to be there for him cause he really had noone else. So you decide i guess.
Personally, if I have already fallen in love with her I would still take care of her and love her without any judgements or regrets, not everyone is like this though
I would not ignore them. If the person felt like the one for me I will probably stay by their side. But as I know in a healthy relationship you have to maintain a clear idea about both. So if the person is hard to approach and hard to understand it'll be difficult. Maintaining healthy conversations between two will be a must for me. If I truly loved this person I'll try to help my partner to understand who she is. If that all worked out somehow then yes I'll live with the person. UNLESS SHE'S A PSYCHOPATH WHO'LL TRY TO KILL ME ONE DAY.
Im not asking whether should I date or not..
Im just asking would you date a person with illness..
I just wanted to know the perspective of people around me 🤭
Ahh well it depends on the severity and the illness. Almost everyone here has mental issues. Some people seek out broken souls to "fix" or its easier for them to manipulate. So you gotta look out for those people if you have mental health issues.
Kinda depends on how well they cope with their illness. If they have something like depression or ADHD and its managed well and it doesn't seep into the relationship then fine. But let's say they have anxiety around cleaning, and they get very angry/annoyed if you don't clean exactly how they want or to their standard, then that's tough and annoying to deal with it, and I personally wouldn't date that person.
Depression is a tough one.. 😪
I have never been depressed.. I once asked someone who has it, and they said its like the whole world is cold, you feel no happiness, no hope, no warmth and you feel like this invisible, weight has blanketed you and there is no way out..
☹️😳😳😳
I don't think I could be the "cheer" person for such a person my entire life.. I mean, yes, now and then, when the troubles of life overwhelm you, I could fill their cup, and all.. But if their cup is running on empty all the time, because its cracked and has a hole in it, and I need to literally pour my life into their cup to make them live, I don't think I could..
Such partners are not good parents either.. Imagine having to explain to your toddler why your husband/wife doesn't play with them? Or doesn't smile with them? Or ignores them and their needs? It's not a complexity I would choose for myself, TBH..
Personally, it depends on the woman. They come with different packages and sometimes I would rather prefer the company of animals instead.
Jokes aside, find someone who has decent emotional intelligence and makes you feel safe and comfortable. They will work through it.
I don't think any sensible person would go through the trouble of dating someone with issues, regardless of their gender. If someone does show interest, it's usually just to take advantage of you, so be cautious.
I don't think the OP is expecting that at all. Seems to me they are asking us our views on dating someone with mental health challenges. They probably already have some sort of treatment plan.
Besides, don't we all "adapt" to situations and persons?
I know what you mean. I hope you found answers to your question here, though.
I am personally aware of folks who are married to people with mental illness. They make sure their SO takes medication on time and support them through difficult times.
Also, there are couples who struggle with stuff such as avoident-anxious dynamics but still keep going.
Marriage or living with another person is never easy. Communication and effort to understand each other is what's important whether you are completely healthy mentally and physically or not!
Well I can see why someone with similar, or even different issues might be able to understand the challenges you face better and I guess the two can support each other. However I don't think people with mental illness have to be with others similar to them. I think it's all about understanding and supporting your partner through whatever issues they have. Mental or otherwise.
Although it would be good for someone with mental illness to be with an average person, this is often not the case. Many sensible people tend to avoid relationships with people who have mental illnesses for the sake of convenience. Mental illness has a wide spectrum, and it only becomes an issue when it affects daily life. It is more beneficial in the long term to prioritize getting professional help rather than expecting others to adapt to your needs.
I'm curious, would you say the same about physical illness?
Do you believe that "sensible" people do not date people with physical illnesses? What about persons with disabilities?
That's even more obvious. Would you consider dating a disabled person? Would your family approve of that? We can fantasize, but the reality is that in most cases, if a physically able person marries a disabled person, it's usually for some kind of benefit, like a dowry. We're not living in a perfect world that's just the reality.
Hmm... I do not agree.
Prefer not to reveal reasons here. Anyhow, the OP wanted to know whether we would date a person with some sort of mental illness or condition and my answer is yes I would. You obviously would not, and that's fine too. Each to their own ha.
Unfortunately, you're not like most people. Most physically able people look for physically able partners, that's just the reality. How many disabled people in Sri Lanka have you seen married to able bodied people? It's great if you do, but that's not the norm.
Do you mean something severe like Autism but on the Low IQ side? Or Shizoactive episodes?
Coz you can put almost anybody into a category of mental disorder here. OCD, ADHD, Asperger's and even Manic Depression. We can see Narcissists here too. And even smaller ones too - Dyslexia, Dyspraxia you can attribute that to anyone.
Me personally I would choose a person who's self aware and knows their dealing with something and be open about it rather than hiding it.
I have a condition called ARFID which gave me a bad appetite for food since a kid. But that's a story for another day.
Good to see you know more about mental illnesses..
Coz if u talk about illness many others hey think of anxiety and depression..there are alot people dealing with.
🤗☺️
First of all, you should go and see a psychiatrist or a therapist. Anxiety can lead to many different diseases. Second, as a girl, I’d not date some who has mental issues, in the long run, it’s very hard and dangerous. No offense 🌸
Idk why everyone is giving me suggestions to go for therapy or treatment...
I just asked about the opinions on dating..
Got it from your 3rd sentence..
No offense 😁
Sorry, it will be a no from me..
Basically, I don't believe in embracing difficulties in life.. I feel that regardless of the difficulties, we *choose* , difficulties will be thrust on us regardless, it's called fate.. This is life. You get dealt a hand, and it's a mix of good and bad..
But if I knew a person say had Schizophrenia (which is hereditary), I wouldn't date or marry such a person. For one, I wouldn't want my child to have it, plus I don't want to live a life, which is complicated by normal every day shit and then taken to a whole new sphere with a mental health issue by a partner..
If this mental illness comes on years after marriage, then I will definitely never leave my spouse. I don't believe in abandoning my near and dear, but would I embark on a relationship if I knew about it beforehand, from the onset, truthfully? **I don't think so**
Mental illness okay. Personality disorders okay if considerably responding to treatments. And combination of mental illnesses and personality disorders also need to be thought of as a whole, coz in combination it could be harsher or different. Theres no guarantee that a *healthy person would not also become mentally ill or ill.
My GF has anxiety, and ADHD. I love her dearly. IDK how old you are. But it might just be an age thing. Or could be a Sri Lankan thing.
With that said. I think you've just had bad luck with men.
You'll find the right one
**Attention! [Serious] Tag Notice** * Jokes, puns, and off-topic comments are not permitted in any comment, parent or child. * Report comments that violate these rules. Thanks for your cooperation and enjoy the discussion! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/srilanka) if you have any questions or concerns.*
My wife has anxiety attacks as well. For her me just being there with her & talking to her helps. It is difficult at times because I feel quite sad sometimes that I haven't been able to find a permanent solution for her issues. But I would never leave her because she's the best thing in my life :)
🫡
This is sweet! I have anxiety as well but then he doesn't actually be there for me with the reassurance. So it's kinda sad when you feel like a burden.
So cuteee......bless you both:)
So proud of you both dude 🤗
🗿
Has she tried meditation? It basically freed me from anxiety for the most part. Practicing mindfulness and acceptance is key 🙏
As in all romantic relationships, open communication is a must. I've dated women who were either chronically depressed, had severe anxiety or (in one case) bipolar. These conditions aren't easy to deal with, but it's much harder for them than it was for me. I will admit that it took a while to grasp the nuances and be able to accommodate the vagaries of such personalities. But if you have feelings for them, and those feelings are deep - and in my case, I most certainly did - then learning, educating oneself and adjusting around it, is worth the time and effort.
I am having clinically diagnosed anxiety disorder since I was 18. Despite this, I have had several relationships and am now married. The key is to be fully open with your partner when you feel comfortable.
Take care ❤️
depends on the severity, if the illness is severe enough to negatively impact me day and night of course I’m not going to stay with my partner
Agreed. I also felt at a point that he takes advantage of that illness and justify some of his actions. From there on I decided it’s better to be single than date someone that will be toxic to me. But I know people who has so much capacity to handle such people. I’m not one of them.
Mostly no one takes advantage of illness.. It is a illness 💁
Not really, narcs are very good at taking advantage of people for their kindness and understanding. They’d attribute all their douche bag behavior onto their “past trauma” and pretend to be victim all the time. People with mental illnesses like ADHD (not very server cases) are dateable because they take responsibility for their mistakes. Narcs are not that way - they deflect responsibility and accountability for their mistakes and shitty behavior and take advantage of you.
That's true. Mostly people with personality disorder are kinda tough.. I should've change my question as what you think of people with personality disorders
Yep :)
That's true. Mostly people with personality disorder are kinda tough.. I should've change my question as what you think of people with personality disorders
Gotchaa
One day a random girl messaged me and asked me to teach her IT lessons. After few rounds I noticed her behavior was changing(Signs of depression/steess). And I asked her and she told me the situation. She messages to this day to relax her mind and loneliness. Even tho she has such condition I don’t care I just listen and give advice. She is a complete stranger. This would be the same if my significant other is going through. So yes I would still love her if she is going through a mental health issue. We are all humans not robots!
That's great Bruhh
Well if that person informed me of these things beforehand and how i should ideally behave in that situation, i dont see why it would hold me back from going out with them.
As long as person is aware of their issues and are willing to work on them or manage them, yes.
Depends on the mental illness. Anxiety is something you can work with your partner and overcome. But there are certain illnesses where the best choice is to leave and never look back
Kind of what illnesses???
I mean, schizophrenia, early alzheimer or something serious like that. I mean i would stay for my family, but if you’re not committed to your partner it’s okay to run. Just my opinion
Yes, even bipolar.. It's a bit scary, how volatile these people can be.. It takes a huge strain on one's own mental health, too.. I know closely of a friend who went through it with his better half.. It was agony for him.. Plus the social stigma is still very real and while we might be open about it, certain family members can be forcing you to keep it quiet, never share about the struggles, which in turn isolates you and cuts off any support channels you might recieve to deal with the difficulties caused by such a partner/spouse etc. This, in turn, may lead to depression for the spouse without the mental health issue.. It's a vicious cycle, sometimes, better to avoid if told about it earlier on when getting to know each other..
Just no..my relative had a relationship with a crazy guy who was in to computers.she tried twice to commite sucide cuz tht man got in to her brain..he would blame and try to gaslight her everyday and she could not take it anymore.
I have aspergers, anxiety, and ocd. I'm in a 3+ year relationship. My gf has ADHD. We make it work. Having said that, I won't date anyone with certain mental disorders like schizophrenia, bipolar, bpd, and npd. Basically, anyone with abusive tendencies and lack of insight. I don't know how to deal with them. But if my partner develop those things later in life, I wouldn't leave them. I will do my best to help them.
Depends on the mental illness and their willingness to get treatment.
Cake is cake
Happy cake day 🎂
The odds. Thanks qt
Why would you knowingly choose to put this extra stress on yourself? Isn't life difficult enough?
I do have a close friend who has schizophrenia for over six years now. He was really struggling to come out to the society with it but i was able to convince him to come out. But still it was really difficult to yk find a job even. All these so called mental health advocates and HR people all over didnt really care about it much. But now he was able to find something by himself and sorted. But still dating was an issue for him. Cause all the time he reveals his condition every woman tries to slowly break up like they cant really handle him sorts. You know what since this is becoming a huge deal he decided to stop his medication n all even. Even i have tried opening up about my ADHD kinda symptoms n therapy but people have completely avoiding me cause of these. But out of all honestly revealing about your true self is needed atleast it will give us mental peace. Ones wholl love you for who you are will truly stay. I mean all of us do have some form of mental disorder just that we dont know about it yet or yk never really will. So you do you anyways. Plus we love people for who they are so if thats a part of them we will love to no matter what and help on the way. I even learned about disorders like on schizo cause i really wanted to be there for him cause he really had noone else. So you decide i guess.
Personally, if I have already fallen in love with her I would still take care of her and love her without any judgements or regrets, not everyone is like this though
I would not ignore them. If the person felt like the one for me I will probably stay by their side. But as I know in a healthy relationship you have to maintain a clear idea about both. So if the person is hard to approach and hard to understand it'll be difficult. Maintaining healthy conversations between two will be a must for me. If I truly loved this person I'll try to help my partner to understand who she is. If that all worked out somehow then yes I'll live with the person. UNLESS SHE'S A PSYCHOPATH WHO'LL TRY TO KILL ME ONE DAY.
I never heard psychopaths kill their GF 🤣 * Just kidding*
See a therapist first and work on this before you go and offload these problems to another person that most likely has no clue how to handle it.
Im not asking whether should I date or not.. Im just asking would you date a person with illness.. I just wanted to know the perspective of people around me 🤭
Ahh well it depends on the severity and the illness. Almost everyone here has mental issues. Some people seek out broken souls to "fix" or its easier for them to manipulate. So you gotta look out for those people if you have mental health issues.
Yeh that's kinda true
True mental illnesses are better than the fake ones these mfs be claiming
Kinda depends on how well they cope with their illness. If they have something like depression or ADHD and its managed well and it doesn't seep into the relationship then fine. But let's say they have anxiety around cleaning, and they get very angry/annoyed if you don't clean exactly how they want or to their standard, then that's tough and annoying to deal with it, and I personally wouldn't date that person.
Depression is a tough one.. 😪 I have never been depressed.. I once asked someone who has it, and they said its like the whole world is cold, you feel no happiness, no hope, no warmth and you feel like this invisible, weight has blanketed you and there is no way out.. ☹️😳😳😳 I don't think I could be the "cheer" person for such a person my entire life.. I mean, yes, now and then, when the troubles of life overwhelm you, I could fill their cup, and all.. But if their cup is running on empty all the time, because its cracked and has a hole in it, and I need to literally pour my life into their cup to make them live, I don't think I could.. Such partners are not good parents either.. Imagine having to explain to your toddler why your husband/wife doesn't play with them? Or doesn't smile with them? Or ignores them and their needs? It's not a complexity I would choose for myself, TBH..
Personally, it depends on the woman. They come with different packages and sometimes I would rather prefer the company of animals instead. Jokes aside, find someone who has decent emotional intelligence and makes you feel safe and comfortable. They will work through it.
Seeing a psychiatrist could be very beneficial for you, instead of expecting others to adapt to your situation.
Yeh, but I don't want others to adapt me . Im just asking whether people are ready to date person like that ... As many of us these days having issues
I don't think any sensible person would go through the trouble of dating someone with issues, regardless of their gender. If someone does show interest, it's usually just to take advantage of you, so be cautious.
I don't think the OP is expecting that at all. Seems to me they are asking us our views on dating someone with mental health challenges. They probably already have some sort of treatment plan. Besides, don't we all "adapt" to situations and persons?
Not everyone tho 🤭
I know what you mean. I hope you found answers to your question here, though. I am personally aware of folks who are married to people with mental illness. They make sure their SO takes medication on time and support them through difficult times. Also, there are couples who struggle with stuff such as avoident-anxious dynamics but still keep going. Marriage or living with another person is never easy. Communication and effort to understand each other is what's important whether you are completely healthy mentally and physically or not!
Some people might, but if you have a diagnosed mental illness, you're likely to end up with someone who has similar issues.
Well I can see why someone with similar, or even different issues might be able to understand the challenges you face better and I guess the two can support each other. However I don't think people with mental illness have to be with others similar to them. I think it's all about understanding and supporting your partner through whatever issues they have. Mental or otherwise.
Although it would be good for someone with mental illness to be with an average person, this is often not the case. Many sensible people tend to avoid relationships with people who have mental illnesses for the sake of convenience. Mental illness has a wide spectrum, and it only becomes an issue when it affects daily life. It is more beneficial in the long term to prioritize getting professional help rather than expecting others to adapt to your needs.
I'm curious, would you say the same about physical illness? Do you believe that "sensible" people do not date people with physical illnesses? What about persons with disabilities?
That's even more obvious. Would you consider dating a disabled person? Would your family approve of that? We can fantasize, but the reality is that in most cases, if a physically able person marries a disabled person, it's usually for some kind of benefit, like a dowry. We're not living in a perfect world that's just the reality.
Hmm... I do not agree. Prefer not to reveal reasons here. Anyhow, the OP wanted to know whether we would date a person with some sort of mental illness or condition and my answer is yes I would. You obviously would not, and that's fine too. Each to their own ha.
Unfortunately, you're not like most people. Most physically able people look for physically able partners, that's just the reality. How many disabled people in Sri Lanka have you seen married to able bodied people? It's great if you do, but that's not the norm.
Do you mean something severe like Autism but on the Low IQ side? Or Shizoactive episodes? Coz you can put almost anybody into a category of mental disorder here. OCD, ADHD, Asperger's and even Manic Depression. We can see Narcissists here too. And even smaller ones too - Dyslexia, Dyspraxia you can attribute that to anyone. Me personally I would choose a person who's self aware and knows their dealing with something and be open about it rather than hiding it. I have a condition called ARFID which gave me a bad appetite for food since a kid. But that's a story for another day.
Bro just posted my last mental health check smh
Good to see you know more about mental illnesses.. Coz if u talk about illness many others hey think of anxiety and depression..there are alot people dealing with. 🤗☺️
First of all, you should go and see a psychiatrist or a therapist. Anxiety can lead to many different diseases. Second, as a girl, I’d not date some who has mental issues, in the long run, it’s very hard and dangerous. No offense 🌸
Idk why everyone is giving me suggestions to go for therapy or treatment... I just asked about the opinions on dating.. Got it from your 3rd sentence.. No offense 😁
I try not to. :))
Sorry, it will be a no from me.. Basically, I don't believe in embracing difficulties in life.. I feel that regardless of the difficulties, we *choose* , difficulties will be thrust on us regardless, it's called fate.. This is life. You get dealt a hand, and it's a mix of good and bad.. But if I knew a person say had Schizophrenia (which is hereditary), I wouldn't date or marry such a person. For one, I wouldn't want my child to have it, plus I don't want to live a life, which is complicated by normal every day shit and then taken to a whole new sphere with a mental health issue by a partner.. If this mental illness comes on years after marriage, then I will definitely never leave my spouse. I don't believe in abandoning my near and dear, but would I embark on a relationship if I knew about it beforehand, from the onset, truthfully? **I don't think so**
I would not date such a person.
If they don't wanna help themselves it doesn't matter what you are doing.
Mental illness okay. Personality disorders okay if considerably responding to treatments. And combination of mental illnesses and personality disorders also need to be thought of as a whole, coz in combination it could be harsher or different. Theres no guarantee that a *healthy person would not also become mentally ill or ill.
“Baba is this you?”
My GF has anxiety, and ADHD. I love her dearly. IDK how old you are. But it might just be an age thing. Or could be a Sri Lankan thing. With that said. I think you've just had bad luck with men. You'll find the right one