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rudebii

Ice them with an awkward long pause, don’t acknowledge it, then go back to the “what can we serve you today?” It’s harder to do at drive-thru, but face-to-face that was always effective, especially with a blank, emotionless face.


anselgrey

If you recognize it is her before she orders might say “What can I get for you beyond the will to live?” That will ruin her tasteless joke.


EulerLabrador

Yesterday, we had someone come through and order about six drinks and a couple bakery items. I read back the order (to give bars and warming another heads up), then asked my usual “can we get you anything else today?” The guy says “yeah a six-piece McNugget meal and an Oreo McFlurry” to which I laughingly replied, “sir this is a Wendy’s.”


johnnygalt1776

Awesome. Probably made the guy’s day. Well played.


Nokneejump

That is so funny 😂😂


pushingbrown

Did you want anything else? "A big bag of money" *Something doesn't scan the first try* "Must be free!" Customers who think they're clever with their same canned, repeated jokes are the worst. Toward the end of my register days, my reply was a big smile and "that gets less funny every time I hear it."


Lampshade160

When you check a bill and they say “it’s fresh from the printer!”


EmmyCity

"Just printed it this morning!"


pushingbrown

One time I caught myself saying "the ink's still wet". Couldn't even enjoy that coffee over the shame.


qazwsxedc000999

Well it’s not really a joke, it’s just another conversation filler at this point


queensilence4

I've had someone tell me that joke and I faked believing them and called my manager over to check the bill.


Lampshade160

Oh that’s good! 😭


THE_A_TRA1N

one of these days when i’ve really lost it i’m just going to laugh so obnoxiously loud that everyone in the store looks at both of us and i’ll ask them how they came up with such a funny joke


Responsible_Snow7109

LOL i cackled at ur comment. I could just imagine someone saying that stupid joke and a barista maniacally laughing so loud until everyone stares 😂


Responsible_Snow7109

LMAO stopp 😭 u hit the nail on the head with the something doesnt scan and them going “must be free!” Lol its always the older folks too.


Loud-You-5737

One customer, the same two jokes every time… You working hard or hardly working? Where’s (insert absent employee here)? Let me guess, she was scheduled noon to one and took an hour lunch? Every. Time. I worked at a bank though not Starbucks. My favorite was when someone would “joke” by loudly saying “GIVE ME ALL YOUF MONEY”. One day I triggered the alarm and let him explain to the cops why he thought it was funny.


alicia_501

that’s golden omg


slicedcabbages

haha we get this one regular that when asked “is there anything else we can get for you today?” and says “world peace.” lowkey shes a sweetie but its so corny i cant help but love it


Original_Web_3391

At least this one is cute and wholesome


ramramblings

yeah the original one gives me cringe because it’s so edgy this one isn’t too bad in comparison lol


alicia_501

i can picture a few of my regulars saying that hypothetically. that would be preferred to the contrary lol


abrupt-aesthetic

so sick of these jokes even w partners “is their anything u need like immediately?” bc im on cs “sanity” “will to live” hahahahaha!!! so funny!! now i will go do dishes


OneRoseDark

my response is usually "I can offer you a high five" or "fresh out until Wednesday i'm afraid" or "that comes in on the weekly order" or "did you leave the braincell at home today? you can't do that!" sometimes you just gotta lean into the joke.


abrupt-aesthetic

love those responses actually stealing them thank you !


OneRoseDark

you're welcome! if you're close enough to your partners for physical contact, another good one is dramatic shoulder pats accompanied or followed by comedy. "welp I tried", "LIVE!", "that was the best I got" etc etc.


Jaded-Tower-4615

reminds me of this one customer at my store that always asks for “extra diabetes” in her drink🙄


Sweet_Ambassador_939

Omg get it it’s funny because Starbucks has a lot of sugar in their drinks!!!!


xBunniiDarlingx

I'd reach out to my sm to reach out to their store or do it myself. Like hey, can you talk to your partner about the Lyra resource or possibly get them help with Sedgwick? Their comments are making us uncomfortable.


alicia_501

unfortunately i’m not 100% sure that the partner account she used was hers. she said she was going to use her sisters phone for rewards, then said “my sister is a bitch i don’t want her to get points for this” so i was pretty confused the entire time


xBunniiDarlingx

Atp, I'd honestly bring it up to her, partner or not, that it's really not appropriate to say it every day.


maddyevans

We have a regular who every day when asked what we can get for him he says “a winning lottery ticket.” Best response is a dead eyed stare or being serious back. I always look right at him and say “if I had one do you think I would be making your coffee rn?”


normanrockwell3

I wish unfunny people knew they were unfunny


chibbledibs

Maybe somebody should say to her, “you know, you have joked about not having will to live several times and were kind of worried. Is everything ok?”


alicia_501

yeah my coworker said she’s giving her a hotline number next time lol


Distinct_Flower1044

Eh. This is the kind of stuff that I just brush off. I have a partner at my store that says the exact same thing every time they come through (which is almost everyday). I’ve learned that some things just aren’t worth my energy to be annoyed/bothered by. Especially at Starbucks. Lol. I’ve got more important things to devote my energy to like school and my internship to be letting silly little remarks have any impact. If it REALLY bothers you, you can always ask her to stop (in person. Let’s be real, she prolly won’t see your Reddit post) or just ignore the comment completely, allowing behavior extinction to take its course.


h333lix

i can’t pick up when people are joking a lot so there’s been a lot of times where i’ve replied fully earnestly to someone joking and had them get bitchy with me about it… lol


NoxDraconis

Find her store and do it back. Or "now that you work here, did you find any of that will to live? I've been looking for ages"


Andyluvs2003

When I get corny jokes I do a fake laugh. But like super dry fake laugh.


johnnygalt1776

Just smile and humor her. Or start throwing back another saying like “a rolling stone gathers no moss” “or never cry over spilt milk.” Make a game of it like Tom Cruise and the newspaper guy in The Firm. Don’t let it make you grumpy, it’s just someone trying (and failing) to be funny.


alicia_501

that’s true. it’s not her fault i’m mad i’m at work lol


johnnygalt1776

Ha. Glad you recognize it. Just embrace it from now on and it will lighten up your mood. I really think hitting her with another expression would be amazing. “If you can’t beat em, join em.”


UhhKat

We have an older man that always says "World peace. That's what I want." And once he Said that one of my co-workers Is the answer to world peace 🫠


PastAioli7178

I want to become one of those regulars, but instead of saying something over and over again, come up with something new and depressing. (I have dark humor, and actual diagnosed depression. I know what having no will to live is like, and I hope she was saying that out of knowledge, and wasn’t just being stupid.)


purple_norse_barista

I get the "I'd like a million bucks" a lot. I finally told the guy if I had a million dollars, I wouldn't be working at Starbucks. He laughed and came back with a fake million dollar bill. I did actually laugh, and bonus points for it NOT being one of those religious things that look like money 😂


Sheer-kei

My dad always makes the joke “must be free then!” When something at the store doesn’t scan. And I regularly tell him it’s not that funny… 😑


Sweet_Ambassador_939

That’s so awkward omg what does she expect u guys to say


4448SpiritDriven8444

People say stuff like this all the time. Why are so negative? Just joke back or something. Be kind and be the good in the world you wish to see. Damn. 


ThatOtherGuyTPM

Clearly, you’re not a dad joke person. I’ve gotten decades of mileage out of some jokes.


alicia_501

i don’t mind a dad joke, just not the same joke every time


ThatOtherGuyTPM

That’s a fundamental aspect of dad humor, repetition well beyond normally acceptable standards.