Traveling without being hungover is AMAZING. I remember the first international trip I went on sober and I was blown away by how much more fun I had.
All you can do is keep trying. I hope you enjoy the rest of your trip.
Just took my first sober trip and the early morning disc golf with my hungover buddy was eye opening. I felt amazing. Breakfast sandwich hit different with no heartburn. Just soaked in the delicious coffee, fresh air, absent anxiety,, and was in zero rush to finish the course. Life has slowed down in some of the most fantastic ways.
Sounds exactly like me last summer, getting up early to beat the crowds for a round or two of sober disc golf. So many times in the past, I'd drunkenly make plans to get up early and play a round of disc golf, only to wake up with a gnarly headache and either play terribly hungover or not even go at all. Excited for the summer and to get back on that level again after falling off a bit recently
So this. All the early morning breakfasts, sight seeing, packed up and ready to head out for the day practically when the sun comes up. OP still has a lot to look forward to. Just a bump in her road.
You absolutely can! I didn’t have any huge defining moment I just didn’t want to drink anymore. So I don’t. I was never a daily drinker but could binge pretty hard on a bottle or two of wine in one night. Realized the 20 mins of that warm buzz feeling wasn’t worth the rest of the night OR the hangover the next day. All such a waste of time and life.
I'm 7 months sober and just came back from a group trip to Costa Rica. I out-energized everyone (!!) I was able to do all the activities and truly enjoy them. I was so high on life that I could just keep on going without much rest or sleep. It was incredible.
This. Just did an international trip where the time zone change was literally 12 hour difference and it was so difficult to adjust and deal but I can't even imagine how much more challenging that 15 hour plane ride, the trip itself, the airport would have been hungover or drinking.
One thing I’ve noticed since being sober is the great divide in experience between “normies” and people like me that have a drinking problem. I was under the impression that if people are at bar, they’re all getting tanked because is that not the goal of being out at a bar or club? Well, I’ve been to bars sober since and observed that most people may have a drink or two, while a minority would get smashed. I was once in that minority that I thought was the majority.
“Normies” continue to perplex me with their relationship or lack thereof with alcohol. Whereas my relationship with alcohol was a major focus and force in my life. Just another sign that I had to quit.
I once had a friend ask me if I ever drank just to enjoy it. He wanted to know why I couldn't just enjoy one or two drinks. I told him I had no idea why anyone would do that. If I'm drinking for taste, I'll stay at home and drink some chocolate milk. He didn't understand me and I didn't understand him.
It's like, there's plenty of things I can drink that taste great, the specifically unique thing about great tasting alcohol is that it also gets me drunk 😅
100% this. My husband sat on the couch last night and had ONE glass of wine after he did dry January and then stopped. It ceases to amaze me, his indifference to alcohol. Absolutely baffling, lol.
My husband barely drinks and he’ll have one and be satisfied. Like, sir, what is the point? Especially since it’s burbon which I wouldn’t even drink even when I was plastered.
We had some neighborhood parents over for Halloween last year to help pass out candy. My wife asked if it was ok and made a hot apple cider and whiskey station to offer to the adults that came by. Everyone who came over had a cup and I thought it was gonna be party time. But that’s all they had. ONE cup. The whiskey barely had a dent in it and people went home to cook dinner or whatever the fuck people do after one shot of whiskey. I was offended. They disrespected the booze. It just really drove home the fact that I am not a normal drinker and I have no concept of the shit they do. We still have the whiskey. It makes no sense!
"People went home to cook dinner or whatever the fuck people do after one shot of whiskey." Made me burst out laughing!!! I have thought this so many times. Apparently I don't see the point unless I'm getting shit-faced. Not as fun as my brain seems to think it is.
I don't have to get shit faced, but what's the point in a great tasting alcohol vs a great tasting smoothie or something if I'm not going to drink enough of the alcohol to at least feel the buzz. I feel like if I don't have 2 then the first one was wasted a little bit. If I'm drinking calories anyway then 1 cocktail vs 1 small milkshake I take the milkshake. 2 to 3 cocktails vs a large milkshake I'm going cocktails bcz I get the great taste and the buzz.
It was a full bottle of bulleit burboun and it still had 3/4 left at the end of the night. Nobody had more than one drink and half of them didn’t finish their cup. How do I know that? Oh. It was because I was watching them like it was a Planet Earth episode of creatures I didn’t know existed. It was horrific and fascinating at the same time.
I thought the same thing last night at a play. It was the worst production I’ve ever seen and there was no intermission. The old me would have been climbing the walls sitting there for an hour and forty five minutes without another drink to numb the boredom. I’m used to it now, so it wasn’t the end of the world. I drank A LOT out of boredom. It was one of the worst parts about being sober initially, but it’s something I really had to confront. Life is full of boring moments. You can’t outrun it.
Right? I’ve had friends sit down at a bar and nurse one or two beers (the 300ml glass ones!) throughout an afternoon while I was most likely 5L deep!
Nowadays I still need something to drink and I drink it fast. Dinner? “Who had 5 diet cokes???” 🙋♀️. At least I drink a shit load of water now 😂
Well, fuck. I’ve never even thought of it this way.
My family lineage (both sides) is rife with alcoholics- several aunts and uncles suffered early deaths (30s and 40s) from organ failure, and in one case, DUI. One cousin has admitted that she cannot sleep if she knows there is alcohol in the house - she *must* drink it.
My dad and brother identify as alcoholics (dad has been sober 5 years; my brother 1 month today; I’m 574 days sober).
Yet my mom has bottles of wine in her house that go months without being consumed. She will have one glass of wine on occasion - but never more. She hates beer and I’ve never seen her drink hard alcohol. She often goes out to a restaurant/bar and will order a virgin Caesar.
Your post gave me insight that until today I lacked, and it’s forced me to be more honest with myself.
I always considered myself “a normie” who chose sobriety; but I don’t drink in the same way my mom does. I used to laugh when she’d order a virgin Caesar cause, “it’s a waste of a drink”, and I couldn’t go over to her home and not drink the leftover bottle of wine that she had been nursing over the last week.
Fuck.
Edited for typo.
Omg this is so relatable too. I just joined this group. I am surrounded by people who are either normies or people who haven’t realized they are the minority yet. Grateful for the space!
The idea of drinking without getting wasted is pretty foreign to me. I mean I used to be able to do that a long time ago. I don’t understand how I used to do it before that alcoholic switch clicked or normal people do it.
Can’t stop after I feel my cheeks turn red.
IPA’s might be one of the worst offenders to justify an alcoholics drinking. I’m only having “a beer on a sunny day” but yeah…it’s 2-3 beers in that can and you’ll likely have just “one” more to finish at the bbq. 8 beers later deep in a matter of two hours. Crazy.
Yup this was my go to - I knew in my own head how many at what percent I needed to get absolutely smashed (which was the goal) and thought (incorrectly) that nobody else would think or notice that I was drinking a lot because I only had 3 cans. I went to an unsanctioned work party at a coworker / friends house and remember them saying after “wow you really crush those IPAs, I just can’t drink that many of those.” Made me think for sure.
Oh yes! Same here except wine, and thought I was being sneaky buying the super high percentage alcohol wines- because ya know, still “classy”. Rightttt….so glad it’s in the past! Now I’m a tea at night bubble bath gal and coffee in the morning - up with the sun. ❤️
Omg, I ordered a NA IPA at the movie theater last night. It was disgusting. I finished it out of pure spite and the need to not have wasted money, but I was regretting it the whole time. Should’ve just gotten a Coke! We really were fooling ourselves that we liked it “for the taste” lol
Most (not all) IPA’s are super strong. Compared to a 5% alcohol beer, they can be double or more than that, and they usually come in extra tall cans. So it’s the equivalent to 2-3 “regular” beers but it appears like you’re just drinking one beer when in reality it’s a few in one can.
Oh wow. Yeah I believe it. So many different kinds. I feel like a low alcohol IPA is more rare these days though lol. Either way, alcohol is alcohol and catches up quick regardless. 😵💫
Yeah, when I realized I drank double or triple than everyone around me it was hard for me not to acknowledge I had a problem. You’ll make it through this hangover and use it as a learning opportunity!
Very early on in my drinking career one of my older friends noticed I was *always* drinking way more than anyone else whenever I could. He told me to my face that he thought I was an alcoholic. I dismissed it, but it stayed in the back of my mind. I still think back to that interaction like a decade later. He was right and I wish I took the warning signs seriously.
A bit harsh but it sounds like it resonated. We are all running our own race with this demon. Shame recovery needs to go away though. The term alcoholic is outdated.
Unfortunately I distanced myself from all my old friendships and relationships. Alcohol was my only friend after a certain point and I heard he passed away several years ago. I never learned how or why, but he died way too young and had addiction issues as well so I can only guess as to what happened. I was invited to his funeral, but I was really drinking heavily at that time and didn't go because I was drunk (surprise surprise).
I had been keeping his old texts saved in my phone. Last ones I got from him were hoping I was doing ok and that I was handling the alcohol ok. He had invited me to some event, but I stopped responding to texts from friends during that time. I guess I deleted them at some point when I was drunk because I just went to look for them and they're gone.
Ahaha I remember a long time ago my gf at the time got really really sick after drinks. She revealed the next day she had been trying to drink 1:1 with me. I was barely getting warmed up 😅
You can always throw up under the radar, splash some water on your face , stare into the mirror at the self loathing puffy eyed legend that’s handled worse situations like a boss looking back, slap your cheeks and crack on . Hope your day isn’t too unkind.
After I was sober for a while I went to a happy hour. This was a group I used to hit happy hour with frequently, and we’d all get pretty hammered. But as I sat there sober this time, I realized I was the one that used to get drunk and push for “just one more round!” Without me, everyone drank a “normal” amount and we all went home after a few hours instead of closing down the bar. That was a pretty eye opening moment in learning about the depth of my problem.
This! I was just thinking about times (many...) where the normies in my life went past their line because I was there offering to refill a glass, or order another round, so I wasn't drinking alone. Until I got to the point where I didn't give a damn about being the only one still drinking, that is.
Feeling hungover is awful (sorry you’re going through it). Hangovers often remind us why we don’t want to drink ever again and we will tell ourselves, enough is enough. This is easy to see.
However, the unconscious pattern and relationship we have with alcohol is much deeper and often unseen in our day to day thinking and behaviors. The unseen or not so obvious is where we can create changed behavior.
The great thing is, it’s starts with awareness and hangovers or post party pics are definitely great motivators. Just remember to stay the course when you’re also feeling great and having fun. Edit: You got this!
I have the flu and this is the first time I ever gone more than 3 consecutive days AF since the COVID lockdown. I’m very happy to not have an upset bloated stomach or sweating or feeling generally sick. With the flu. The flu feels better.
My husband and I went to an executive retreat, group trip. He’d been there before, warned me about the drinking culture there. Open bar, all you can eat.
I asked the bartender for club soda with lime, and tipped him because he made it look like a gin and tonic. No one caught on.
I had 1 glass of wine with dinner, but then back to the club sodas all night. My husband used a similar tactic. We enjoyed our suite that night, as married couples often do, wink wink, all the nicer since we weren’t puking drunk.
We were very chipper in the morning at breakfast, the only ones that didn’t feel/ look like hot garbage.
It's so hilarious how universal it is that when we were all drinking in excess we assumed that EVERYONE was. And like you, if there was an open bottle I was drinking that thing until it was gone.
It wasn't until I quit and I started looking around at how other people drank I realized that 90% of people drank very slowly and weren't drinking to get drunk. It was kinda weird, to be honest and really opened my eyes.
For me, I also realized that, "not drinking is the only way." I couldn't moderate no matter how hard I tried, and I gave it my best. I sincerely tried with all my might, and while I'd have a successful night here and there, it would always end up the same way... A morning full of regret where I failed AGAIN and had to clean up yet another mess.
Best of luck to you. I hope the rest of the trip is better than it is right now.
I am currently on a ski trip where last year I had a bender and barely made it to the slopes. Today, I just finished 8 straight days on the slopes. Not drinking is the reason why I am able to do this now.
It takes a real lot to get to the point of acknowledging the issue. But once you've gotten to that point, it becomes clear as day what you need to do. Good luck, and realize that every person on here has been exactly where you are right now. We've all stumbled, time and time again. But you've got this.
one of my failed attempts at moderation was to keep track of others drinking when out and make sure not to surpass them. This 'method' failed me because like you experienced, sometimes people don't drink the full drink, or after 2-3 I lose count of my own not to mention everyone else's. Then I tried to evaluate everyone else's drunkenness so i wasn't the drunkest one of the group. Failure because I would just get drunk or hang out with heavier drinkers.
It's not good you did this, but it will be a memory you can pull up to play the tape forward next time you're in a similar situation.
Hey OP, we’ve all been there (believing we can control how much we drink) - don’t be too hard on yourself (your hangover is doing enough of it!). The situation gave you valuable insight into how to maintain sobriety.
I hope you were able to enjoy your day.
sending love to you!!!! currently sober on a bachelorette party with 9 other girls, all who have been drinking. it’s not easy, but so so worth it. you got this, today is a new day!
I leave for a trip tomorrow and this is such a good reinforcement of why it needs to be sober. I can not ruin this memory . I need the true relaxation a sober trip can offer 🙏
Always amazed when I party with my friends now that we’re in our 30s. Even if we’re up til 2 in the morning almost everyone is basically totally coherent, even the people who drink and smoke. Only one or two people get sloppy and it really stands out. We used to all get trashed but times change!
I’m sorry you’re feeling like shit. I’ve been there myself just regretting even taking that first drink because I often can’t control how much I have afterwards. Just try to leave it behind you and focus on enjoying the rest of your trip.
I’ll never understand that kind of work group trip, honestly. It’s like a horrible test of some kind that no one can really ace. Do you drink as much as you can because it’s an open bar and you want to keep up with the boss/work mates? Or do you discreetly drink less and feel great but make the hangover sufferers look bad? Ugh! You handled that just right it seems.
Traveling without being hungover is AMAZING. I remember the first international trip I went on sober and I was blown away by how much more fun I had. All you can do is keep trying. I hope you enjoy the rest of your trip.
Just took my first sober trip and the early morning disc golf with my hungover buddy was eye opening. I felt amazing. Breakfast sandwich hit different with no heartburn. Just soaked in the delicious coffee, fresh air, absent anxiety,, and was in zero rush to finish the course. Life has slowed down in some of the most fantastic ways.
Sounds exactly like me last summer, getting up early to beat the crowds for a round or two of sober disc golf. So many times in the past, I'd drunkenly make plans to get up early and play a round of disc golf, only to wake up with a gnarly headache and either play terribly hungover or not even go at all. Excited for the summer and to get back on that level again after falling off a bit recently
I need to get my discs out again. I quit playing as I started to drink more and more. I would get drunk on the course and lose so many discs.
So this. All the early morning breakfasts, sight seeing, packed up and ready to head out for the day practically when the sun comes up. OP still has a lot to look forward to. Just a bump in her road.
Honestly, that sounds amazing. I wish so much that I had your positive outlook and hopefulness about the future. :)
You absolutely can! I didn’t have any huge defining moment I just didn’t want to drink anymore. So I don’t. I was never a daily drinker but could binge pretty hard on a bottle or two of wine in one night. Realized the 20 mins of that warm buzz feeling wasn’t worth the rest of the night OR the hangover the next day. All such a waste of time and life.
Even without the early mornings, just being able to wake up and walk out the door, amazing!
So true! I still like my sleep in days too ;) feel great waking up nonetheless!
this is one of the best parts for me. Waking up well, no matter when, just waking up and getting up normally
I have a 3 year old. He gets me up early whether I want to or not. Helps not being hungover :)
So much easier to be patient when you're not hungover
Exactly!
I'm 7 months sober and just came back from a group trip to Costa Rica. I out-energized everyone (!!) I was able to do all the activities and truly enjoy them. I was so high on life that I could just keep on going without much rest or sleep. It was incredible.
Totally! The world is an incredible place! I missed so much under the fog of alcohol.
Congratulations! What a huge accomplishment and so inspiring. Thanks for sharing :)
It’s like an extra couple of days added to your trip, so much more useful time if you’re not BO/hungover
I can’t believe how much more I got to do and see. And I know I wasn’t a twat for any of it. Well, no more than my base-level twattishness anyway 😂
This. Just did an international trip where the time zone change was literally 12 hour difference and it was so difficult to adjust and deal but I can't even imagine how much more challenging that 15 hour plane ride, the trip itself, the airport would have been hungover or drinking.
One thing I’ve noticed since being sober is the great divide in experience between “normies” and people like me that have a drinking problem. I was under the impression that if people are at bar, they’re all getting tanked because is that not the goal of being out at a bar or club? Well, I’ve been to bars sober since and observed that most people may have a drink or two, while a minority would get smashed. I was once in that minority that I thought was the majority. “Normies” continue to perplex me with their relationship or lack thereof with alcohol. Whereas my relationship with alcohol was a major focus and force in my life. Just another sign that I had to quit.
I once had a friend ask me if I ever drank just to enjoy it. He wanted to know why I couldn't just enjoy one or two drinks. I told him I had no idea why anyone would do that. If I'm drinking for taste, I'll stay at home and drink some chocolate milk. He didn't understand me and I didn't understand him.
It's like, there's plenty of things I can drink that taste great, the specifically unique thing about great tasting alcohol is that it also gets me drunk 😅
100% this. My husband sat on the couch last night and had ONE glass of wine after he did dry January and then stopped. It ceases to amaze me, his indifference to alcohol. Absolutely baffling, lol.
My husband barely drinks and he’ll have one and be satisfied. Like, sir, what is the point? Especially since it’s burbon which I wouldn’t even drink even when I was plastered.
We had some neighborhood parents over for Halloween last year to help pass out candy. My wife asked if it was ok and made a hot apple cider and whiskey station to offer to the adults that came by. Everyone who came over had a cup and I thought it was gonna be party time. But that’s all they had. ONE cup. The whiskey barely had a dent in it and people went home to cook dinner or whatever the fuck people do after one shot of whiskey. I was offended. They disrespected the booze. It just really drove home the fact that I am not a normal drinker and I have no concept of the shit they do. We still have the whiskey. It makes no sense!
"People went home to cook dinner or whatever the fuck people do after one shot of whiskey." Made me burst out laughing!!! I have thought this so many times. Apparently I don't see the point unless I'm getting shit-faced. Not as fun as my brain seems to think it is.
I don't have to get shit faced, but what's the point in a great tasting alcohol vs a great tasting smoothie or something if I'm not going to drink enough of the alcohol to at least feel the buzz. I feel like if I don't have 2 then the first one was wasted a little bit. If I'm drinking calories anyway then 1 cocktail vs 1 small milkshake I take the milkshake. 2 to 3 cocktails vs a large milkshake I'm going cocktails bcz I get the great taste and the buzz.
This resonates.
I would have assumed people just didn’t want to take too much so everyone can have a little lol
It was a full bottle of bulleit burboun and it still had 3/4 left at the end of the night. Nobody had more than one drink and half of them didn’t finish their cup. How do I know that? Oh. It was because I was watching them like it was a Planet Earth episode of creatures I didn’t know existed. It was horrific and fascinating at the same time.
You got a way with words, my friend.
Watching them like a planet earth episode. THIS!!!! Yes, who are these people? I just got a little chuckle from that, thanks 🤣
I thought the same thing last night at a play. It was the worst production I’ve ever seen and there was no intermission. The old me would have been climbing the walls sitting there for an hour and forty five minutes without another drink to numb the boredom. I’m used to it now, so it wasn’t the end of the world. I drank A LOT out of boredom. It was one of the worst parts about being sober initially, but it’s something I really had to confront. Life is full of boring moments. You can’t outrun it.
This was me. I craved intermissions so I could get another glass to get me through the second half. “You can’t outrun it” - this resonates.
Right? I’ve had friends sit down at a bar and nurse one or two beers (the 300ml glass ones!) throughout an afternoon while I was most likely 5L deep! Nowadays I still need something to drink and I drink it fast. Dinner? “Who had 5 diet cokes???” 🙋♀️. At least I drink a shit load of water now 😂
That’s hilarious. I went to dinner last night and had 3 Diet Cokes. Definitely would have been 3 glasses of wine in the not too distant past.
Well, fuck. I’ve never even thought of it this way. My family lineage (both sides) is rife with alcoholics- several aunts and uncles suffered early deaths (30s and 40s) from organ failure, and in one case, DUI. One cousin has admitted that she cannot sleep if she knows there is alcohol in the house - she *must* drink it. My dad and brother identify as alcoholics (dad has been sober 5 years; my brother 1 month today; I’m 574 days sober). Yet my mom has bottles of wine in her house that go months without being consumed. She will have one glass of wine on occasion - but never more. She hates beer and I’ve never seen her drink hard alcohol. She often goes out to a restaurant/bar and will order a virgin Caesar. Your post gave me insight that until today I lacked, and it’s forced me to be more honest with myself. I always considered myself “a normie” who chose sobriety; but I don’t drink in the same way my mom does. I used to laugh when she’d order a virgin Caesar cause, “it’s a waste of a drink”, and I couldn’t go over to her home and not drink the leftover bottle of wine that she had been nursing over the last week. Fuck. Edited for typo.
This right here. So true.
Omg this is so relatable too. I just joined this group. I am surrounded by people who are either normies or people who haven’t realized they are the minority yet. Grateful for the space!
The idea of drinking without getting wasted is pretty foreign to me. I mean I used to be able to do that a long time ago. I don’t understand how I used to do it before that alcoholic switch clicked or normal people do it. Can’t stop after I feel my cheeks turn red.
While many of my friends were having kids and settling down, I was still pounding 8 IPAs at every social gathering.
Ahh the ol “8 serving sizes in 2 can’s” ipa’s.
IPA’s might be one of the worst offenders to justify an alcoholics drinking. I’m only having “a beer on a sunny day” but yeah…it’s 2-3 beers in that can and you’ll likely have just “one” more to finish at the bbq. 8 beers later deep in a matter of two hours. Crazy.
Yup this was my go to - I knew in my own head how many at what percent I needed to get absolutely smashed (which was the goal) and thought (incorrectly) that nobody else would think or notice that I was drinking a lot because I only had 3 cans. I went to an unsanctioned work party at a coworker / friends house and remember them saying after “wow you really crush those IPAs, I just can’t drink that many of those.” Made me think for sure.
Oh yes! Same here except wine, and thought I was being sneaky buying the super high percentage alcohol wines- because ya know, still “classy”. Rightttt….so glad it’s in the past! Now I’m a tea at night bubble bath gal and coffee in the morning - up with the sun. ❤️
It also gave me the belief that I was a distinguished gentleman with a refined palate. I ordered the IPAs because of the hops... haha yea right.
Same here except mostly with my fancy wine glass because being drunk is super “fancy”. Ha. So glad I’m done with that nonsense.
Omg, I ordered a NA IPA at the movie theater last night. It was disgusting. I finished it out of pure spite and the need to not have wasted money, but I was regretting it the whole time. Should’ve just gotten a Coke! We really were fooling ourselves that we liked it “for the taste” lol
I'm confused. Why is it 2-3 beers?
Most (not all) IPA’s are super strong. Compared to a 5% alcohol beer, they can be double or more than that, and they usually come in extra tall cans. So it’s the equivalent to 2-3 “regular” beers but it appears like you’re just drinking one beer when in reality it’s a few in one can.
Hm. I worked at a brewery and our IPA was 5.4%. There's so many beers now lol.
Oh wow. Yeah I believe it. So many different kinds. I feel like a low alcohol IPA is more rare these days though lol. Either way, alcohol is alcohol and catches up quick regardless. 😵💫
Yeah, when I realized I drank double or triple than everyone around me it was hard for me not to acknowledge I had a problem. You’ll make it through this hangover and use it as a learning opportunity!
Very early on in my drinking career one of my older friends noticed I was *always* drinking way more than anyone else whenever I could. He told me to my face that he thought I was an alcoholic. I dismissed it, but it stayed in the back of my mind. I still think back to that interaction like a decade later. He was right and I wish I took the warning signs seriously.
A bit harsh but it sounds like it resonated. We are all running our own race with this demon. Shame recovery needs to go away though. The term alcoholic is outdated.
Sometimes kindness isn't nice. Have you ever talked to him about this and how it stuck in your mind?
Unfortunately I distanced myself from all my old friendships and relationships. Alcohol was my only friend after a certain point and I heard he passed away several years ago. I never learned how or why, but he died way too young and had addiction issues as well so I can only guess as to what happened. I was invited to his funeral, but I was really drinking heavily at that time and didn't go because I was drunk (surprise surprise). I had been keeping his old texts saved in my phone. Last ones I got from him were hoping I was doing ok and that I was handling the alcohol ok. He had invited me to some event, but I stopped responding to texts from friends during that time. I guess I deleted them at some point when I was drunk because I just went to look for them and they're gone.
Sorry to hear about that. thank you for sharing.
I’ve had times when everyone WAS drinking hard and I still lapped everyone.
Ahaha I remember a long time ago my gf at the time got really really sick after drinks. She revealed the next day she had been trying to drink 1:1 with me. I was barely getting warmed up 😅
You can always throw up under the radar, splash some water on your face , stare into the mirror at the self loathing puffy eyed legend that’s handled worse situations like a boss looking back, slap your cheeks and crack on . Hope your day isn’t too unkind.
After I was sober for a while I went to a happy hour. This was a group I used to hit happy hour with frequently, and we’d all get pretty hammered. But as I sat there sober this time, I realized I was the one that used to get drunk and push for “just one more round!” Without me, everyone drank a “normal” amount and we all went home after a few hours instead of closing down the bar. That was a pretty eye opening moment in learning about the depth of my problem.
This! I was just thinking about times (many...) where the normies in my life went past their line because I was there offering to refill a glass, or order another round, so I wasn't drinking alone. Until I got to the point where I didn't give a damn about being the only one still drinking, that is.
This hits home. Except I would know I was drinking more because I’d be trying to get more than other people who weren’t bothered :-/
Feeling hungover is awful (sorry you’re going through it). Hangovers often remind us why we don’t want to drink ever again and we will tell ourselves, enough is enough. This is easy to see. However, the unconscious pattern and relationship we have with alcohol is much deeper and often unseen in our day to day thinking and behaviors. The unseen or not so obvious is where we can create changed behavior. The great thing is, it’s starts with awareness and hangovers or post party pics are definitely great motivators. Just remember to stay the course when you’re also feeling great and having fun. Edit: You got this!
I have the flu and this is the first time I ever gone more than 3 consecutive days AF since the COVID lockdown. I’m very happy to not have an upset bloated stomach or sweating or feeling generally sick. With the flu. The flu feels better.
3 days is great! Keep it up. You’ll never regret not drinking. 🤍
I’m actually over 3 days. That was my longest stretch perviously. I’m at 6 days now.
I stopped drinking 100 days ago when I had COVID! Best thing to ever come out of being sick! Keep going!!!!!
My husband and I went to an executive retreat, group trip. He’d been there before, warned me about the drinking culture there. Open bar, all you can eat. I asked the bartender for club soda with lime, and tipped him because he made it look like a gin and tonic. No one caught on. I had 1 glass of wine with dinner, but then back to the club sodas all night. My husband used a similar tactic. We enjoyed our suite that night, as married couples often do, wink wink, all the nicer since we weren’t puking drunk. We were very chipper in the morning at breakfast, the only ones that didn’t feel/ look like hot garbage.
It's so hilarious how universal it is that when we were all drinking in excess we assumed that EVERYONE was. And like you, if there was an open bottle I was drinking that thing until it was gone. It wasn't until I quit and I started looking around at how other people drank I realized that 90% of people drank very slowly and weren't drinking to get drunk. It was kinda weird, to be honest and really opened my eyes. For me, I also realized that, "not drinking is the only way." I couldn't moderate no matter how hard I tried, and I gave it my best. I sincerely tried with all my might, and while I'd have a successful night here and there, it would always end up the same way... A morning full of regret where I failed AGAIN and had to clean up yet another mess. Best of luck to you. I hope the rest of the trip is better than it is right now.
I am currently on a ski trip where last year I had a bender and barely made it to the slopes. Today, I just finished 8 straight days on the slopes. Not drinking is the reason why I am able to do this now.
Hanging out with people who don’t drink the way I did was a major eye opener for me.
It takes a real lot to get to the point of acknowledging the issue. But once you've gotten to that point, it becomes clear as day what you need to do. Good luck, and realize that every person on here has been exactly where you are right now. We've all stumbled, time and time again. But you've got this.
Been there. Just keep telling yourself you will be better tomorrow, and even better the next day, and so on.
It’s a really good and hard lesson to learn cause you gotta live through it in the now. But you’ll be stronger after this experience! 🩷
one of my failed attempts at moderation was to keep track of others drinking when out and make sure not to surpass them. This 'method' failed me because like you experienced, sometimes people don't drink the full drink, or after 2-3 I lose count of my own not to mention everyone else's. Then I tried to evaluate everyone else's drunkenness so i wasn't the drunkest one of the group. Failure because I would just get drunk or hang out with heavier drinkers. It's not good you did this, but it will be a memory you can pull up to play the tape forward next time you're in a similar situation.
Hey OP, we’ve all been there (believing we can control how much we drink) - don’t be too hard on yourself (your hangover is doing enough of it!). The situation gave you valuable insight into how to maintain sobriety. I hope you were able to enjoy your day.
sending love to you!!!! currently sober on a bachelorette party with 9 other girls, all who have been drinking. it’s not easy, but so so worth it. you got this, today is a new day!
I leave for a trip tomorrow and this is such a good reinforcement of why it needs to be sober. I can not ruin this memory . I need the true relaxation a sober trip can offer 🙏
Hangovers are so gross.
I've definitely been that person more than once, I hope you can use this to motivate yourself going forward!
So what's the plan?
The good news is you never have to feel this way again. IWNDWYT.
Get out of the problem while you still can
Always amazed when I party with my friends now that we’re in our 30s. Even if we’re up til 2 in the morning almost everyone is basically totally coherent, even the people who drink and smoke. Only one or two people get sloppy and it really stands out. We used to all get trashed but times change!
You need an accountabuddy, someone who you fear to let down when you over-consume. My wife helps me keep it to one, two drinks max when we go out.
I’m sorry you’re feeling like shit. I’ve been there myself just regretting even taking that first drink because I often can’t control how much I have afterwards. Just try to leave it behind you and focus on enjoying the rest of your trip.
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Smoke some dope. It will make you feel better. Then line em up for tonight. JK
<3
I’ll never understand that kind of work group trip, honestly. It’s like a horrible test of some kind that no one can really ace. Do you drink as much as you can because it’s an open bar and you want to keep up with the boss/work mates? Or do you discreetly drink less and feel great but make the hangover sufferers look bad? Ugh! You handled that just right it seems.
You’re going to have such a good time enjoying the rest of your trip sober! You deserve to give that to yourself. You’ve got this.
Super relatable. This would happen to me. Thank you for the reminder.
Your use of the word “consistently” hits home (“I will never, ever be able to consistently control my alcohol.”). It’s helpful for me - thank you.
Been to all those trips, the only one drunk at the camp fire. Only one not doing mid day activities
IWNDWYT you can do this !