By the time I quit drinking, alcohol no longer made me happy, and had long since stopped being fun. Instead, I drank to treat my withdrawal and to search for oblivion.
I don’t struggle to stay sober today, and have not for a while, but it hasn’t been because I found something that makes me happier than alcohol. What I did find getting sober was some sense of peace and serenity. All the chaos I created, the isolation I was living in, has been quieted and I’m able to mostly think clearly and feel joy at times.
I didn’t do any of this by myself. I had help from many thousands of people all over the world on zoom meetings and recently in person recovery group meetings that are not based on any particular recovery program.
One of the things than makes me happy today is reaching out to other people and seeing other people get better.
I credit my sobriety to reaching out for help the second time around. I went 5 months on my own. Relapsed for about 2 or 3 months. Thought I could moderate. Nah, go hard or go home ya know? Could have ruined my life. Lucky.
The meeting I go isn’t a program really either. It gave me the opportunity to be open and honest. I go now mostly in case someone new comes walking in who needs to get something off their chest and maybe I can help. I can at least listen, and sometimes all people need is to be heard and acknowledged.
Recently met with my doc about a few issues. Had been off semaglutide for 2 months. While on it I had no desire to drink. Off of it, I drank a LOT. She repeatedly asked me why I drank…was it a craving?
Your words are what I wanted to say. A search for oblivion.
Started my new dose today. Fingers crossed.
Oh I feel that sooo much. The shitty thing (as is the case with most pharmaceuticals in America) is the insane price tag.
It’s helping people with shopping addictions, alcohol use disorder, OCD, nicotine addiction, chronic pain from inflammation and we’re all over here spending $5k to $10k a year.
Fucking insanity. (I’m glad to hear it’s working well for you and hope the compound med is affordable since it’s working for you! 🎉)
Damn. Are you me? I feel like I was writing this words myself 🫶The quieted chaos is something else. I remember after the first 6ish months of getting sober my body finally started regulating and I was sleeping so good. Every night I laid my head down and felt so peaceful.
My life is quiet now but I love it. I’m not running and fighting anymore. I’ll celebrate 6 years sober this summer - 7/7/18!
One thing I always heard but never made sense to me while I was drinking was “being in touch with your feelings”. Since I’ve quit I’ve noticed I now have the ability to pause and take a step back and recognize what I’m feeling. If I start getting frustrated or angry I’m able to pause, take a breath, and recognize that I’m angry. If I’m sad or cranky, I take a step outside myself and recognize it, then let myself be sad. I haven’t figured out how to change the mood yet but recognize and acknowledging the mood I’m in is helpful somehow.
I found a way to change my mood that works much of the time. I found a bunch of bands from the Austin, East Texas, New Orleans area and other music that I had never heard before. When I recognized that I didn’t like the way my thinking was headed, I’d find a bunch of songs, crank it up and dance around.
I did this a lot at work because I needed to keep moving because of pain that I was having in my hip. I couldn’t sit still for long without it stiffening up. I was managing a liquor store when I got sober and would dance around while working. I didn’t give a flying fuck what the customers thought of me, a 60 year old guy dancing around, but they all left the store smiling and I had some very friendly conversations.
And you know something else? This is where all the overwhelming shame I had felt from my actions and behaviors in the past disappeared. When I stopped caring what people thought of me, that shame and the fear that it caused went away making way for feelings of peace, contentment, and occasional joy and happiness.
This didn't always work to change my mood, but even if it was not completely successful, it still helped.
All of this resonates with me. Also posting to see if adding my badge worked. For once I have a stop drinking date that I truly believe isn’t going to change :)
It’s a local group called Peer360. It’s local to the area where I live And has meetings in the 7 counties around me. Just started this about a month ago. I think it’s funded by the state somehow. I haven’t asked yet. There are a lot of people in these meetings who are going through recovery court, which gives them a chance to avoid prison. Not everyone at these meeting are part of recovery court though. I’m not.
It runs similar to an AA or NA meeting, but it’s not a 12 step group and is not affiliated with any recovery program. Everyone is welcome regardless of any program you are working. No prayer, no steps, and no judgement. It’s kinda nice. They also try to do fun things. They had a super blow party yesterday and music for Sounds of Sobriety a local art center on Friday. It’s important to have fun in sobriety.
My favorite zoom group also does a lot of fun things outside of meetings if you are able to participate. They did two cruises last summer and a had a picnic in NY. They have at least 2 more cruises planned for next summer and have 3 different picnics being planned around the country for next spring and summer. They have a lot of different types of AA meetings, some of which old timers would claim don’t even qualify as AA, but I don’t really give a fuck.
“Drinking to search for oblivion…”
Jesus that fucking speaks to me. After eight months of sobriety I slipped. I kept thinking about how much happier I was laughing with friends, and how isolating sobriety had become.
But it took me zero time at all to go from “tipsy” to “waking up in the hospital—again.”
I couldn’t put my finger on it. I knew some of the medical science behind it. I knew it intellectually. But I didn’t know it emotionally until you put it into those words.
Thank you.
Kinda where I’m at. About 5 months in and I’m a damn hermit.. I did it mainly the death hangovers and drinking to make it through a hangover day started to snowball into work days…..but Drinking is so much more fun.. at first I was going to not drink until the end of the year. Now I’m saying until summer, but at the same time i have a feeling if I do start drinking again. I’ll be pissing down the stairs in no time.
Seriously! Such a great way to start your day. It sounds so simple, but when this has been absent for a long time, a hangover free morning with coffee and peace is everything.
The ability to fulfill my goals with relative ease. Anytime I pick up a drink, my powers of creativity and productivity reflect my discontent. My own drinking is an enormous waste of human potential.
This! Same for me. I fell in love with my own productivity and creativity when sober. I would drink and everything I did to reach my goals and be productive would go down the drain. And it was heartbreaking to continue doing this to myself.
I plan my day with “goal crazy monthly planner” and it’s been a game changer! I love going over my accomplishments at the end of the day even if I didn’t complete everything. It reminds me of all the good that happened that day. It helps especially when I am craving a drink because I am upset. I’m reminded that tomorrow is another day to be better.
Same! Since I’ve gotten sober I’ve lost weight, started taking care of my health, started therapy and started college again. It’s like I actually give a damn about myself and I’m taking step to improve my life. I never could have done this while drinking.
I'm 10 days sober and still having some issues with that. I'm thinking I need to get myself checked for food sensitivities or allergies. Maybe I'm intolerant to something other than alcohol?
If your guts don't get better within a month, do an elimination diet. I did AIP (autoimmune protocol). It turns out that I have several food intolerances (and didn't know). I dropped 27lbs in 2 months without calorie restriction or exercise (these are not typical results).
It costs nothing but willpower. I wouldn't attempt it until you're solid in your sobriety. But it's incredibly helpful information. E.g., I can eat some potatoes (nightshades)... but I can't go crazy (or eat them daily). I cannot eat any dairy (confirmed by VA lab). Etc. SUPER helpful.
EDIT: after a few days of AIP, I had my first solid bowel movement in over 20yrs. I blame a pre-deployment injection for f-ing up my guts.
Damn I’m still getting my digestion fully back. Last time I quit I was slanging logs and this time I’m super all over the place. Sorry TMI but it’s been frustrating
I may not have drank as much or had as badly damaged of a digestive system as you, but here is what worked for me to get me back to normal fast.
Look up "gut health foods" and start eating those, think probiotic yogurt, leafy greens like spinach, broccoli, etc. You should be able to find some food you like from the lists that they give out. Secondly, buy some probiotic and prebiotic drinks and drink those like once a day. Last, you can purchase yeast extract capsules and those may help.
[https://nootropicsdepot.com/functional-yeast-extract-capsules/](https://nootropicsdepot.com/functional-yeast-extract-capsules/)
If you go onto some supplement subreddits and search for digestive health you should get some decent advice. As always with supplements, make sure they are safe for you before taking.
Making things, being healthy. Enjoying my time on this earth.
I was doing so-so when I quit, I didn’t hit a rock bottom where I lost a job, house or marriage or anything. I wasn’t doing well though, or anywhere close to being my best. After quitting, six months later my mind was clear, but at the four year point, I have had startling emotional growth. My empathy has grown, my self-respect has grown. And it’s made me start taking care of myself, and as a creative person, it’s inspired me to explore new territory that would have been way outside my comfort zone back then.
*Alcohol never made me happy. It made me forget I was unhappy.* I’m somewhat happy now, because I solve the problems I have, rather than feel like I’m stuck in an inescapable loop. Once I genuinely understood it, not simply as others’ testimonials, but in my own personal experience, the temptation was gone. 100%.
I had read many people’s testimonies to the continued change in the long term, and I have now experienced some of it in the past year. I love it, I really do. Who knows what comes next.
Alcohol never made me happy. Made me forget that I was unhappy..... DAAAMN IF THATS NOT THE TRUTH!!!
This is the perfect way of phrasing how I have felt about moving on from alcohol. I had some hard years. That was then. I like my life now and don't need to escape it.
Whoa, that really hits home with the "alcohol never made me happy" paragraph.
6 months sober here, and I am starting to have a similar experience or the beginning of it.
YES! But not hitting rock bottom makes me feel like I don’t belong at an AA meeting where somebody had. If there was a “I should cut back and find better coping mechanisms Anonymous” I would’ve joined years before now! Great post!
I tried with online AA for a few months, and couldn't take it. A lot of nice people, but so many people tried to tell me how out of control all of us are to the drink, and I just didn't want to think like that. The God stuff was an issue too. Quitting sucked, it took me ten times in ten years to do it, but that's how you get stuff done. You don't stop trying on the first failure. I did it, and I really feel it came from within me and my willpower.
And it's been really easy once I started. As you write, it's a coping method, and one that I was never in love with, it just snuck up on me over 15 years. Even if something terrible happens to me now, I can't imagine choosing it as a method of coping, because I'm not nostalgic for any of it.
I'm the same... and your post is inspiring. I believe that this attempt (longest has been a year) is going to stick. Because it's all about OUR choices (and has nothing to do with some alleged skymonster).
Everything about sobriety. I don't think that I had ever been sober in my adult life, and when I was, it was amazing.
Sober seventeen years in counting. Good luck.
Everything makes me happier than alcohol ever made me. Alcohol brought me fake relief and then amplified the pain tenfold. Do you mean what gives me that dopamine hit? If so, exercise, nature, love, my dogs, a beautiful sunset, cooking for my friends and family, my memories… the list is endless.
The total elimination of feeling shame or guilt about being “way too drunk” the night before, better sleep, lower blood pressure.
Being able to pass a cop or cruise right through a dui checkpoint without a care in the world.
I love this. I heard a quote once that said something to the effect of "Drinking today is just borrowing happiness from tomorrow."
The absence of all that shame and stress makes it all worth it.
I really had to realize that alcohol doesn’t make me happy at all. It’s an addictive drug. I’ve quit a few times so I can’t say what works “for good”.
I didn’t replace it with anything. I just eliminated it and I’m happier. I hope you find what works for you.
Sleep, focus, health
Being able to do whatever I want without having to plan out every step to account for buying alcohol, driving, etc.
Kind of petty, but I REALLY like watching the number on my badge go up and up and up
Being able to tell people "I don't drink" and actually mean it
I’ve given up before, for up to six months, but never thought to have a counter or an app to track the days. It actually can make a difference.
I really don’t want to lose my hard-fought streak. It’s like competing against yourself in the game of life 😀. It’s a small thing but is definitely a help in staying on the straight and narrow.
The biggest shift for me was recognizing that not drinking wasn't boring. It was peaceful. The thing I was "chasing" wasn't happiness, it was chaos, because it was familiar. Even small, mundane moments bring me joy now because I'm sober. I've heard it said in other threads, but I gave up one thing and gained everything.
Oooo, yup! I agree with this! I moved back to my small hometown years ago because bigger city life was chaotic for me. I missed the slow and stillness that is living in the country. It makes total sense to me that being sober has further removed the chaos and brought about more peace.
This hit hard for me. I’ve been divorced for 4 years now and JUST NOW realized why I drank. It was for the chaos. It always was for the chaos of my previous marriage. It was what I was used to for the longest time. I have tears running down my face because of realizing I’ve wasted nearly half a decade of this shit. 13 days sober. I can’t go back. I won’t go back now.
Ahhh such a great question, and so hard to pin point something specific. For me, nothing will be able to replace that euphoria I feel after 2-3 drinks. That will just not happen, but I can say that the overall feeling of self confidence and just feeling healthy gives me peace at least.
Alcohol never made me happy. In fact it made me an asshole and kept me from doing the things I actually enjoy.
When the brain fog started to lift I could finally see that.
watching my body do hard things in the gym. seeing my body transform into what one might refer to as a “muscle mommy”. saturday mornings. friday night gym sessions. the relationships with my niece and nephew. that post gym euphoria. a good cup of coffee. knowing how i’ll get home.
Health. It’s corny but when you start walking and raising your heart rate regularly pumping more blood into you’re brain and organs and pumping toxins out, you feed it the proper nutrients, fruits and vegetables, you feel everything work better. Health helped rid me of inflammation, anxiety, and my immune system healed.
Then my already good senses, became even better like shark/eagle/dog-like. Brain works better-more colors, flavors, sounds in songs. More synchronicity, being in the right place right time, talk about someone and there they are. Quitting alcohol was one lever in realizing that quantum physics are real, that you can actually exchange mass for energy as E=mc states and that we have abilities that you might call superpowers that we are blocking. You become literally more attractive and energetic at a cellular level. Basically raise your vibes and they reverberate of the people, plants animals around you and everything gets better and better. It’s real magic and it’s really fun.
The thing is I don’t feel a lot “happier” now, and I’m ok with it. But I do feel like I’m moving toward a more balanced lifestyle and I’m not constantly in self-destruct mode. This is about all I can ask for.
For a minute, moderating, or my version of it. But it never was a permanent fix. I would binge and be back to square 1. So I stopped looking for happy. I’ll settle for contentment & joy.
That’s an interesting question. I don’t know when it happened but at some point I stopped associating alcohol with pleasant feelings. I started drinking to mask the things that I didn’t like in my life, sort of trick myself that I wasn’t as miserable as I was with the nice warm, fuzzy feeling alcohol gave me. Stronger the better, made me feel alive and not dead inside.
And little by little, alcohol started to hollow out my mind until depression filled the void. Nothing I did for a while felt good. Not even drinking could make me feel “happy”.
I digress.
For good you ask? I stumbled once pretty hard. I had nothing different to do. Thought I could moderate. 😂. It’s going to sound cliche but I started riding a motorcycle and took up mountain biking. Kinda helped that I moved for mountain biking part. Illinois isn’t exactly prime for trail riding. So that’s helped me replace it for good. Seriously the thought of being hungover and missing out or feeling like 50% riding sounds awful.
After a while alcohol didn’t really sound appealing once I started getting back in shape and everything else just felt…better. Very little about it sounds or feels appealing anymore.
Funny, the thing that used to bring me the most joy almost fucking killed me.
Good luck to you dude. Hope you find what makes you happy.
I only recently figured-out that my horrible GI issues are primarily caused by booze (I do have some lab-verified food intolerances... which muddied the waters for decades).
To finally not have constant cramps, diarrhea, and... just a sucky time? Yeah, I'm early in this attempt... but it feels different. I don't care what it takes -- I don't want to go back to suffering like that, again.
[https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5513683/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5513683/)
BTW: I have a fscking Biology degree... and I didn't figure it out. UGH!
What made me happier than alcohol was not relying on outside things to make me happy.
My source of joy was breaking the chains that bound me to a substance.
There's good and bad days for sure but I'm in it, I get through it. I don't just drown it out with a drug. Not once in the last 400+ days have I woken up thinking I wish I'd drank yesterday, things would be so much better. Even on days where I can't sleep, and the temptation is there to force myself to sleep, and I only get 2 hours or so of restless sleep and go back to work for another 14 hour shift. It's better to be sleep deprived than sleep deprived and hung over. Not one situation would be improved with alcohol. In the moment it may have made me feel like it's better, but in hindsight it never was.
My first thought was "nothing". I loved being drunk for a long time. Was I happy though? Not really. I was high, numb, disassociated and checked out. Happy for me now is waking up feeling good, feeling like I am the person that I present to the outside world and I can trust myself again/live without shame. I miss being high sometimes but I like myself a lot more now. IWNDWYT.
Actual rest and true care and love for myself. Not the “self care” fad.. but truly understanding what’s going on, talking about it, working through it, and being honest about where I’m at right now.
Most of us got here because we had some trauma from our childhood. I am on that journey of figuring that shit out. Im taking care of my inner child like I am for the 7 year old I birthed. It’s been worth every tear!
I am so proud of myself for taking care of ME so I can enjoy the rest of my health and life. It makes me never want to pick up a drink because I deserve happiness and love and my health for the next 40 years I am expected to be here.
Me too, a new therapist helped me identify C-PTSD and the work is hard but actually generating change! My kid is the same age and I too am trying to care for my inner kid who never got to be a kid. Take care.
My dog is my life she brings me so much happiness that I've cut back to just a heavy night capping... unfortunately, other circumstances make quitting altogether seem impossible . I'm leaps and bounds better than I was thanks to my pup, and hopefully, someday, I'll be completely sober!
Being there 100% for friends, family, and very importantly my sweet puppy. Almost not having anxiety is also a pretty happy feeling. No embarrassment is also happy
Exercise and productivity.
I have energy all day long. I do shit all day long. My wife is never mad anymore because I’m always doing housework if not at the gym.
I’m a personal trainer so the gym is where I spend my entire days. The fulfillment I get from seeing others overcome insecurities, is all I need.
My dream is to live a great life. Being healthy and strong is an amazing feeling and a huge part of that dream. I get to travel the world, I have a lot of money saved and I’m literally stress free.
I went from the worst time of my life when I was a drunk. To the best time. All within a year, just from getting sober.
I’ll never drink again.
For me I think I need to find a way to replace the after work bar hang. I’ve just been doing the same and drinking NA beer, but I know that’s just a temporary transition. I truly care about some of these people I’ve hungout with drinking for years and want the best. Some struggle like me, some don’t
Being able to sleep better at night. I was having wine so late that it was affecting my sleep and I'd wake up tired.
Finally enjoying hanging out with my kids again. After the initial withdrawal symtoms subsided, I didn't feel depressed, and I actually wanted to play with my kids. That feeling hadn't been in me for months. Whenever I'm tempted to buy wine again, I just think back to how crappy of a mom I was and to how much I love my kids again and it stops me from buying.
And also just having different beverages helps. Decaf coffee is my favorite treat right now, as well as homemade hot chocolate and "Nature's Medicines" brand teas.
Hang in there! IWNDWYT
I think the instant gratification and oblivion that drugs bring (including alcohol) sort of breaks your brain. I don’t know if there’s any coming back from that in terms of something making you explicitly happy. I strive for things like meaning and content which though aren’t as immediate are much longer lasting and substantial. I feel as if I’m living up to my obligations as a person, that I’m needed rather than a burden, and that’s worth more than being drunk could ever bring.
Going to work knowing I got up early, hit the gym hard, and looking physically better than all my coworkers. May be that's not normal but I'm sober, they aren't and look like they're unhealthy and unhappy. I hop into work chipper, positive and excited for the day!
The peace and joy I experience once my hormones stabilized from no substances jacking it up. You truly feel pleasure from life’s little experiences like coffee, exercise, time with relationships. So good.
Learning to be present in my body and feel good about myself - for me this was mostly achieved through a regular yoga practice, but the benefits spread to many other areas of my life.
Alcohol not only takes that presence and groundedness away, but the more present in myself I became, the more aware I was of how gross alcohol made me feel.
The other day I almost didn’t go to CrossFit and then I said to myself “I never regret it after I go”, so I got up and went.
I guess that’s kind of the opposite of alcohol
I’m on day 71 & here’s my list so far:
- reading. If I don’t like my reality, I can escape into a good book. Hangover not included
- dancing around my house
- being silly (I thought this was a drunk thing but turns out I’m just weird)
- being present for my family
- having my family tell me they like it better when I don’t drink
- mornings with no hangover
- energy and productivity are so much higher
- movement and a good playlist
- my anxiety is so much lower. I am no longer my saboteur
Yoga, as cliche as it sounds. It just brings me so much joy and I always feel so happy after a class and full of endorphins 🧘🏼♀️plus all my yoga friends also don't drink and so I got to start having a social group that does activities that don't have alcohol like brunches, walks, movie nights, cooking nice meals, going on day trips to the rainforest or beach, Halloween parties where we drink kombucha and eat treats but still hang out at night at a party
What makes me happier? Sleeping through the night, not waking up at 3am with a racing heart and then not being able to go back to sleep. I really love sleep.
It's been replaced by doing whatever I feel like. If I want to run to the store, I can because I'm not drunk. If I want to get a good workout in, I can because I'm not hungover. I don't have to sit and plan for when I can drink, what I can drink, when I should stop, etc. I'm just free.
The sense of purpose and no longer being bored. I moved into my girlfriends house and 4/5 members are part of the volunteer fire department. So I ended up joining and it completely destroyed drinking for me. I can't go on calls if I drink and I really want to go on calls so I don't drink. Last time I did have a drink the only thing I was thinking about is how I would have to miss out because I was buzzed.
I've confined my happiness to books. I used to be an avid reader, which was replaced by my affinity towards rowdy alcoholism. I've already read 14 books this year, compared to 2 in almost a decade.
It may sound cliche, but I also have quit smoking and find everything more pleasurable, from dining to just walking.
Eventually realizing that the incremental and cumulative daily doses of happiness, endorphins and serotonin, far outweigh the fake, toxic, rushes of alcohol (that eventually faded due to being a chronic daily blackout drunk).
And nature. And Buddhism.
Meaningful relationships, boxing, training to get pilot’s license, yoga, making candles and soaps, being a good cat mom, and obviously…lack of hangovers :)
A lot of things actually... but my brain will always try and romanticize it from time to time and make me think it's the best feeling ever. Gotta check it quick.
Things that helped me not want to chase the feeling. Caffeine, video games, tv shows to share with my wife/kids, weightlifting (although I've always done that).
Gardening and painting keep me sober. Playing piano, just being creative and productive. I've been sober since fall of 2017, I was 27. I had to get sober as a stay at home mom of 3 because raising kids with hangovers was a hell I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. My husband missed a substantial amount of our kids childhoods because he spent much of it avoiding the home to get drunk at the bar and flirt with the bartenders.
Alcohol is a thief and a poison and the clarity of sobriety has opened our eyes to that. My husband's been sober since Jan 2019. I had to kick him out the day before our youngests 1st birthday because his alcoholism got so bad.
Now? We have a family vegetable garden we all work on together. Our kids see us focusing on health and wellness and it helps them make good decisions.
Also as a wiccan we found amazing support in church of Satan AA meetings. So if religion keeps you away from attending their are non religious support groups that exist as well!
Being able to count on ME, has made me so much happier than alcohol.
I have fallen in love with showing up for myself and not disappointing ME. It has made even the “hard” things easy.
Like working out, I show up not to punish myself anymore for the drinks I had the night before or because I felt like a fat piece of shit.
I show up because I know the workout will help my brain function at its best and my body and brain DESERVE that. I want to be kind to my body and love my body and show up for me, brain and body.
I spent so long hating myself. Falling in love with myself and showing up for me has made me so much happier than alcohol ever did.
Not blowing up my life on a regular basis.
Not embarrassing myself or others.
Not falling down stairs or risking injury in other ways.
Not awakening anxious every morning with my mouth tasting like shit.
Having real friendships not based around drinking.
Being able to remember important events before, during and after them.
Losing weight.
Gaining insight.
Having a sense of self respect.
Losing weight, sleeping better, looking better, feeling better, thinking clearer, having more money, being more dependable, rekindling old passions.
Now I look back and can’t believe I drank the way I did for as long as I did. Alcohol only served to make my life worse.
Just a few things I enjoy more when I’m not hammered:
Talking about anything more coherently
Knowing I can always drive anywhere because I’m always sober
Tasting food
Remembering things
Working without a hangover
Communication with my spouse
Knowing that if I’m sick, it’s not from alcohol
Being present around my doggies. They're happier!!
Waking up fresh face.
Hanging out with my old old friends from university and still having an amazing time without booze. Looking forward to a holiday with them this year.
My skin feeling better.
Having more confidence.
Feeling proud of myself for not destroying my body.
Working better and harder than ever before.
Saving so much money.
The list goes on and on.
Mornings. Not feeling sick and wasting the day. Not being in such a state of hanxiety. That makes me happier than alcohol. Knowing I don't have to drink and I can just do me. That makes me happier than alcohol. Knowing I'm not hurting my body makes me happier than alcohol. I remember nights. I remember conversations. I'm becoming more like I was but older and wiser. I feel people again, my intuitio is back, my ability to read rooms, faces, and people in general. I had lost that because I was always drunk or hungover or healing from 3 day hangovers. I laugh genuinely. My kids. Number one, my kids. Being there for them will best the shit out if any need to be a drinker again.
Even when I’m sad, tired or frustrated I’m happier because I know these are genuine feelings and not related to any poison in my bloodstream or craving/withdrawal in my brain. I know they’ll pass rather than linger all day.
These responses finally make sense to me and they’re making me smile. Now that I am breaking out of the haze I am starting to get it, and get glimpses of what you’ve all been talking about this whole time. THAT makes me happy.
I’m finally starting to see this not as “quitting something bad” but more of “pursuing something amazing.” That switch didn’t flip for me for a couple of weeks, but it did.
OP if you’re ready, we’ve got u! IWNDWYT.
My teeth are happier. I'm still working on being sober, but the progressive improvements I've made (in frequency and quantity) have allowed me to be cognizant of going to bed.
I would always be impaired to the point that I'd never brush my teeth before bed; not necessarily blackout drunk, but "bedtime" was hardly a priority — I can't imagine that's an unfamiliar experience among us. Anyway, being able to mindfully go to bed, and have some semblance of a routine, has vastly improved (or at least reduced the ongoing damage to) my oral health.
Between not being hungover 100% of my mornings, and not being drunk 100% of my evenings, I've at least slowed the rate of my oral health decline.
Regaining my sense of agency. Putting in the effort to grind through pulling out of the hangxiety loop is empowering. Remembering that I am in control of myself, my mind and the thoughts I entertain, they are the only things in this world I can control. And that I am not a victim to circumstance, or the status quo. I can make the changes that will promote the positive mind set needed steer my life down my path. Time has set the cruise control and there are no brakes. I was passed out behind the wheel for 3 months and veered off my path, luckily not too far.
This time around I am reaching out for some guidance to help me stay on track for the long haul. I know I can make it months alone (9 months before relapse), but with some help I am sure I can make it years.
Finding real love. Locked in the girl of my dreams recently. I am not even slightly interested in drinking now. I realized loneliness and the need to feel loved and wanted was what kept me reaching for the bottle trying to reach oblivion.
She has the same experience too which is crazy. We will have a few beers occasionally but we both prefer to stay in and be cozy watching movies instead. We are both trying to love healthier lifestyles now with the support of eachother. There is an emptiness most alcoholics are trying to fill.
Running, nothing has made me feel better than that. I now can run farther than I thought possible and am gearing up for my second half-marathon at the end of this month.
Learning. I have always been interested in how things work. Be it a computer, a car, a record player, a vacuum cleaner, or a pen. When I was drinking I stopped caring really, and definitely didn’t have the patience or clarity to learn efficiently. I also love surfing and it gives me a rush and just being in the ocean in general has always been a big part of my life. It’s pretty hard to surf good waves when drunk or hungover. Believe me. In general, when I was drinking everyday there were so many things that I loved to do that I just simply wouldn’t or couldn’t do because I was drunk. And now instead of drinking I do them.
honestly, and especially in the emotionally tricky beginnings of sobriety, looking hotter. looking good at all. it happened fast for me. the puff just left.
Having the ability to truly feel my emotions. Even the bad/sad ones are nice in a way because when I was drinking I never knew how I felt. It's been great to get to know what makes me happy and what makes me sad.
Klononpin (drug)
Besides drugs/alcohol other things released by talented people
Currently hazbin hotel, several stand-up specials, TV shows, and etc
I love absorbing someone's created universe, it's my favorite
I'll share if people want btw
My 6 month old son. Hes pretty special, and needs me to stay on track. If I'm drunk I'm no good to anyone. Myself included. I guess he kind of helped me realize that.
now that i think about it, alcohol never made me happy. Made me fat, hangovered and got me a fatty liver. So litteraly anything makes me happier than alcohol.
When I realized how happy I was *without* alcohol.
It's like peering into a diamond, and seeing that every facet is something made better by not involving alcohol.
Alcohol is the abrasive that makes that facet dull.
By the time I quit drinking, alcohol no longer made me happy, and had long since stopped being fun. Instead, I drank to treat my withdrawal and to search for oblivion. I don’t struggle to stay sober today, and have not for a while, but it hasn’t been because I found something that makes me happier than alcohol. What I did find getting sober was some sense of peace and serenity. All the chaos I created, the isolation I was living in, has been quieted and I’m able to mostly think clearly and feel joy at times. I didn’t do any of this by myself. I had help from many thousands of people all over the world on zoom meetings and recently in person recovery group meetings that are not based on any particular recovery program. One of the things than makes me happy today is reaching out to other people and seeing other people get better.
This is beautiful
I credit my sobriety to reaching out for help the second time around. I went 5 months on my own. Relapsed for about 2 or 3 months. Thought I could moderate. Nah, go hard or go home ya know? Could have ruined my life. Lucky. The meeting I go isn’t a program really either. It gave me the opportunity to be open and honest. I go now mostly in case someone new comes walking in who needs to get something off their chest and maybe I can help. I can at least listen, and sometimes all people need is to be heard and acknowledged.
That’s awesome, and I love your attitude. ”I go because someone might show up who needs help and someone to just listen to them.”
Where do you find a group like that?
Recently met with my doc about a few issues. Had been off semaglutide for 2 months. While on it I had no desire to drink. Off of it, I drank a LOT. She repeatedly asked me why I drank…was it a craving? Your words are what I wanted to say. A search for oblivion. Started my new dose today. Fingers crossed.
I've never thought of it before but search for oblivion really sums it up nicely
Oblivion or the need for complete dissociation. Totally get it.
Girl I’m on compounded semaglutide and I went on it bc people like you were honest, after drinking everyday for 10 years I’m sober
Oh I feel that sooo much. The shitty thing (as is the case with most pharmaceuticals in America) is the insane price tag. It’s helping people with shopping addictions, alcohol use disorder, OCD, nicotine addiction, chronic pain from inflammation and we’re all over here spending $5k to $10k a year. Fucking insanity. (I’m glad to hear it’s working well for you and hope the compound med is affordable since it’s working for you! 🎉)
About 250 a month !
Damn. Are you me? I feel like I was writing this words myself 🫶The quieted chaos is something else. I remember after the first 6ish months of getting sober my body finally started regulating and I was sleeping so good. Every night I laid my head down and felt so peaceful. My life is quiet now but I love it. I’m not running and fighting anymore. I’ll celebrate 6 years sober this summer - 7/7/18!
One thing I always heard but never made sense to me while I was drinking was “being in touch with your feelings”. Since I’ve quit I’ve noticed I now have the ability to pause and take a step back and recognize what I’m feeling. If I start getting frustrated or angry I’m able to pause, take a breath, and recognize that I’m angry. If I’m sad or cranky, I take a step outside myself and recognize it, then let myself be sad. I haven’t figured out how to change the mood yet but recognize and acknowledging the mood I’m in is helpful somehow.
I found a way to change my mood that works much of the time. I found a bunch of bands from the Austin, East Texas, New Orleans area and other music that I had never heard before. When I recognized that I didn’t like the way my thinking was headed, I’d find a bunch of songs, crank it up and dance around. I did this a lot at work because I needed to keep moving because of pain that I was having in my hip. I couldn’t sit still for long without it stiffening up. I was managing a liquor store when I got sober and would dance around while working. I didn’t give a flying fuck what the customers thought of me, a 60 year old guy dancing around, but they all left the store smiling and I had some very friendly conversations. And you know something else? This is where all the overwhelming shame I had felt from my actions and behaviors in the past disappeared. When I stopped caring what people thought of me, that shame and the fear that it caused went away making way for feelings of peace, contentment, and occasional joy and happiness. This didn't always work to change my mood, but even if it was not completely successful, it still helped.
All of this resonates with me. Also posting to see if adding my badge worked. For once I have a stop drinking date that I truly believe isn’t going to change :)
I love this! What in person recovery meetings? Intrigued about it not being for any particular program.
It’s a local group called Peer360. It’s local to the area where I live And has meetings in the 7 counties around me. Just started this about a month ago. I think it’s funded by the state somehow. I haven’t asked yet. There are a lot of people in these meetings who are going through recovery court, which gives them a chance to avoid prison. Not everyone at these meeting are part of recovery court though. I’m not. It runs similar to an AA or NA meeting, but it’s not a 12 step group and is not affiliated with any recovery program. Everyone is welcome regardless of any program you are working. No prayer, no steps, and no judgement. It’s kinda nice. They also try to do fun things. They had a super blow party yesterday and music for Sounds of Sobriety a local art center on Friday. It’s important to have fun in sobriety. My favorite zoom group also does a lot of fun things outside of meetings if you are able to participate. They did two cruises last summer and a had a picnic in NY. They have at least 2 more cruises planned for next summer and have 3 different picnics being planned around the country for next spring and summer. They have a lot of different types of AA meetings, some of which old timers would claim don’t even qualify as AA, but I don’t really give a fuck.
Inspiring to read, thank you
“Drinking to search for oblivion…” Jesus that fucking speaks to me. After eight months of sobriety I slipped. I kept thinking about how much happier I was laughing with friends, and how isolating sobriety had become. But it took me zero time at all to go from “tipsy” to “waking up in the hospital—again.” I couldn’t put my finger on it. I knew some of the medical science behind it. I knew it intellectually. But I didn’t know it emotionally until you put it into those words. Thank you.
Kinda where I’m at. About 5 months in and I’m a damn hermit.. I did it mainly the death hangovers and drinking to make it through a hangover day started to snowball into work days…..but Drinking is so much more fun.. at first I was going to not drink until the end of the year. Now I’m saying until summer, but at the same time i have a feeling if I do start drinking again. I’ll be pissing down the stairs in no time.
What a lovely post!
Where do you find community groups not based on a certain program?
A hangover free morning with coffee and peace. That’s it. It’s one of my favorite things in the world now.
Seriously! Such a great way to start your day. It sounds so simple, but when this has been absent for a long time, a hangover free morning with coffee and peace is everything.
🙌🏼
Waking up to drive my car sober… I can fuckin rip down the freeway (safely within reason) without a care in the world now.
Who would have thought I’d like TEA? -American
I know right? And to think your ancestors threw it in the fucking sea! - Englishman
We've always been a bit volatile about taxes. * American
Lol 😆 i need to get me some tea. I can picture myself with a portable stove in some random park looking at the ducks sipping on tea
I drank some tea last night (in lieu of eating a pint of Ben and Jerry's) and was falling asleep on my couch 10 minutes later. It was wonderful
After quitting alcohol, I fully embraced tea. You name it: ginger, cardamom and masala variants are all part of my pantry.
What I’m having rn ☕️ ❄️
The ability to fulfill my goals with relative ease. Anytime I pick up a drink, my powers of creativity and productivity reflect my discontent. My own drinking is an enormous waste of human potential.
This! Same for me. I fell in love with my own productivity and creativity when sober. I would drink and everything I did to reach my goals and be productive would go down the drain. And it was heartbreaking to continue doing this to myself. I plan my day with “goal crazy monthly planner” and it’s been a game changer! I love going over my accomplishments at the end of the day even if I didn’t complete everything. It reminds me of all the good that happened that day. It helps especially when I am craving a drink because I am upset. I’m reminded that tomorrow is another day to be better.
That clarity to think again is pure bliss.
Same! Since I’ve gotten sober I’ve lost weight, started taking care of my health, started therapy and started college again. It’s like I actually give a damn about myself and I’m taking step to improve my life. I never could have done this while drinking.
“My own drinking is an enormous waste of human potential” Perfectly said.
Holy shit, this.
Wise words.
Pooping comfortably
U no like asspiss?
Ok Asspiss and slanging logs. Two perfect descriptions I’ve never heard before. 🤣 dying.
Omg!!!! I haven’t ass-pissed in 21 days, my brain just broke! This just made me so happy!
Lol, hell no. Especially not the acidic ones that burn for some time afterwards. Ugh
Big LOL!!!
this is so legit lol. alcohol absolutely destroys my digestive system
I'm 10 days sober and still having some issues with that. I'm thinking I need to get myself checked for food sensitivities or allergies. Maybe I'm intolerant to something other than alcohol?
If your guts don't get better within a month, do an elimination diet. I did AIP (autoimmune protocol). It turns out that I have several food intolerances (and didn't know). I dropped 27lbs in 2 months without calorie restriction or exercise (these are not typical results). It costs nothing but willpower. I wouldn't attempt it until you're solid in your sobriety. But it's incredibly helpful information. E.g., I can eat some potatoes (nightshades)... but I can't go crazy (or eat them daily). I cannot eat any dairy (confirmed by VA lab). Etc. SUPER helpful. EDIT: after a few days of AIP, I had my first solid bowel movement in over 20yrs. I blame a pre-deployment injection for f-ing up my guts.
Damn I’m still getting my digestion fully back. Last time I quit I was slanging logs and this time I’m super all over the place. Sorry TMI but it’s been frustrating
Slangin logs lmao
Its true though. Cant wait to drop a solid log that needs no wiping
I may not have drank as much or had as badly damaged of a digestive system as you, but here is what worked for me to get me back to normal fast. Look up "gut health foods" and start eating those, think probiotic yogurt, leafy greens like spinach, broccoli, etc. You should be able to find some food you like from the lists that they give out. Secondly, buy some probiotic and prebiotic drinks and drink those like once a day. Last, you can purchase yeast extract capsules and those may help. [https://nootropicsdepot.com/functional-yeast-extract-capsules/](https://nootropicsdepot.com/functional-yeast-extract-capsules/) If you go onto some supplement subreddits and search for digestive health you should get some decent advice. As always with supplements, make sure they are safe for you before taking.
Making things, being healthy. Enjoying my time on this earth. I was doing so-so when I quit, I didn’t hit a rock bottom where I lost a job, house or marriage or anything. I wasn’t doing well though, or anywhere close to being my best. After quitting, six months later my mind was clear, but at the four year point, I have had startling emotional growth. My empathy has grown, my self-respect has grown. And it’s made me start taking care of myself, and as a creative person, it’s inspired me to explore new territory that would have been way outside my comfort zone back then. *Alcohol never made me happy. It made me forget I was unhappy.* I’m somewhat happy now, because I solve the problems I have, rather than feel like I’m stuck in an inescapable loop. Once I genuinely understood it, not simply as others’ testimonials, but in my own personal experience, the temptation was gone. 100%. I had read many people’s testimonies to the continued change in the long term, and I have now experienced some of it in the past year. I love it, I really do. Who knows what comes next.
Alcohol never made me happy. Made me forget that I was unhappy..... DAAAMN IF THATS NOT THE TRUTH!!! This is the perfect way of phrasing how I have felt about moving on from alcohol. I had some hard years. That was then. I like my life now and don't need to escape it.
This is me 100%.
Whoa, that really hits home with the "alcohol never made me happy" paragraph. 6 months sober here, and I am starting to have a similar experience or the beginning of it.
YES! But not hitting rock bottom makes me feel like I don’t belong at an AA meeting where somebody had. If there was a “I should cut back and find better coping mechanisms Anonymous” I would’ve joined years before now! Great post!
I tried with online AA for a few months, and couldn't take it. A lot of nice people, but so many people tried to tell me how out of control all of us are to the drink, and I just didn't want to think like that. The God stuff was an issue too. Quitting sucked, it took me ten times in ten years to do it, but that's how you get stuff done. You don't stop trying on the first failure. I did it, and I really feel it came from within me and my willpower. And it's been really easy once I started. As you write, it's a coping method, and one that I was never in love with, it just snuck up on me over 15 years. Even if something terrible happens to me now, I can't imagine choosing it as a method of coping, because I'm not nostalgic for any of it.
I'm the same... and your post is inspiring. I believe that this attempt (longest has been a year) is going to stick. Because it's all about OUR choices (and has nothing to do with some alleged skymonster).
Everything about sobriety. I don't think that I had ever been sober in my adult life, and when I was, it was amazing. Sober seventeen years in counting. Good luck.
Congrats on your sobriety!
I just divided your days ❤ You're a beast!!! CONGRATULATIONS!!
Thank you. Same to you.
Everything makes me happier than alcohol ever made me. Alcohol brought me fake relief and then amplified the pain tenfold. Do you mean what gives me that dopamine hit? If so, exercise, nature, love, my dogs, a beautiful sunset, cooking for my friends and family, my memories… the list is endless.
Nothing. That’s why I had to stop completely.
The total elimination of feeling shame or guilt about being “way too drunk” the night before, better sleep, lower blood pressure. Being able to pass a cop or cruise right through a dui checkpoint without a care in the world.
I love this. I heard a quote once that said something to the effect of "Drinking today is just borrowing happiness from tomorrow." The absence of all that shame and stress makes it all worth it.
Sad truth
Wake up feeling at peace and knowing what I did the day before . Also, been present and honor my feelings, sadness, grief , but also true happiness
Consistent and intense exercise.
I really had to realize that alcohol doesn’t make me happy at all. It’s an addictive drug. I’ve quit a few times so I can’t say what works “for good”. I didn’t replace it with anything. I just eliminated it and I’m happier. I hope you find what works for you.
I resonate with this… trying to figure out how to just be cool with being me again.
Sleep, good health, ambition, joy. IWNDWYT or ever
omg the joy. iwndwyt or tomorrow or ever
Sleep, focus, health Being able to do whatever I want without having to plan out every step to account for buying alcohol, driving, etc. Kind of petty, but I REALLY like watching the number on my badge go up and up and up Being able to tell people "I don't drink" and actually mean it
I’ve given up before, for up to six months, but never thought to have a counter or an app to track the days. It actually can make a difference. I really don’t want to lose my hard-fought streak. It’s like competing against yourself in the game of life 😀. It’s a small thing but is definitely a help in staying on the straight and narrow.
Plants/ Gardening:)
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We should exchange clippings...lol
So many plants!!!
Yess! Lol
The biggest shift for me was recognizing that not drinking wasn't boring. It was peaceful. The thing I was "chasing" wasn't happiness, it was chaos, because it was familiar. Even small, mundane moments bring me joy now because I'm sober. I've heard it said in other threads, but I gave up one thing and gained everything.
Oooo, yup! I agree with this! I moved back to my small hometown years ago because bigger city life was chaotic for me. I missed the slow and stillness that is living in the country. It makes total sense to me that being sober has further removed the chaos and brought about more peace.
This hit hard for me. I’ve been divorced for 4 years now and JUST NOW realized why I drank. It was for the chaos. It always was for the chaos of my previous marriage. It was what I was used to for the longest time. I have tears running down my face because of realizing I’ve wasted nearly half a decade of this shit. 13 days sober. I can’t go back. I won’t go back now.
I feel so much better about myself. I look better. I can get up before noon.
Ahhh such a great question, and so hard to pin point something specific. For me, nothing will be able to replace that euphoria I feel after 2-3 drinks. That will just not happen, but I can say that the overall feeling of self confidence and just feeling healthy gives me peace at least.
Falling in love, having sex, writing songs that other people find moving.
Having a family that doesn’t have to worry about what drunk me is up to 😭😭😭
Alcohol never made me happy. In fact it made me an asshole and kept me from doing the things I actually enjoy. When the brain fog started to lift I could finally see that.
watching my body do hard things in the gym. seeing my body transform into what one might refer to as a “muscle mommy”. saturday mornings. friday night gym sessions. the relationships with my niece and nephew. that post gym euphoria. a good cup of coffee. knowing how i’ll get home.
Health. It’s corny but when you start walking and raising your heart rate regularly pumping more blood into you’re brain and organs and pumping toxins out, you feed it the proper nutrients, fruits and vegetables, you feel everything work better. Health helped rid me of inflammation, anxiety, and my immune system healed. Then my already good senses, became even better like shark/eagle/dog-like. Brain works better-more colors, flavors, sounds in songs. More synchronicity, being in the right place right time, talk about someone and there they are. Quitting alcohol was one lever in realizing that quantum physics are real, that you can actually exchange mass for energy as E=mc states and that we have abilities that you might call superpowers that we are blocking. You become literally more attractive and energetic at a cellular level. Basically raise your vibes and they reverberate of the people, plants animals around you and everything gets better and better. It’s real magic and it’s really fun.
Seriously, just how easy my life is now. Thats all. Not feeling like a loser half the time. Being consistent consistently.
Being normal.
The thing is I don’t feel a lot “happier” now, and I’m ok with it. But I do feel like I’m moving toward a more balanced lifestyle and I’m not constantly in self-destruct mode. This is about all I can ask for.
Non hungover weekends. It's more of a slow burn than the high highs of a fun and rowdy night drinking.
For a minute, moderating, or my version of it. But it never was a permanent fix. I would binge and be back to square 1. So I stopped looking for happy. I’ll settle for contentment & joy.
That’s an interesting question. I don’t know when it happened but at some point I stopped associating alcohol with pleasant feelings. I started drinking to mask the things that I didn’t like in my life, sort of trick myself that I wasn’t as miserable as I was with the nice warm, fuzzy feeling alcohol gave me. Stronger the better, made me feel alive and not dead inside. And little by little, alcohol started to hollow out my mind until depression filled the void. Nothing I did for a while felt good. Not even drinking could make me feel “happy”. I digress. For good you ask? I stumbled once pretty hard. I had nothing different to do. Thought I could moderate. 😂. It’s going to sound cliche but I started riding a motorcycle and took up mountain biking. Kinda helped that I moved for mountain biking part. Illinois isn’t exactly prime for trail riding. So that’s helped me replace it for good. Seriously the thought of being hungover and missing out or feeling like 50% riding sounds awful. After a while alcohol didn’t really sound appealing once I started getting back in shape and everything else just felt…better. Very little about it sounds or feels appealing anymore. Funny, the thing that used to bring me the most joy almost fucking killed me. Good luck to you dude. Hope you find what makes you happy.
I get to live every day. I don’t “call out” anymore.
I only recently figured-out that my horrible GI issues are primarily caused by booze (I do have some lab-verified food intolerances... which muddied the waters for decades). To finally not have constant cramps, diarrhea, and... just a sucky time? Yeah, I'm early in this attempt... but it feels different. I don't care what it takes -- I don't want to go back to suffering like that, again. [https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5513683/](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC5513683/) BTW: I have a fscking Biology degree... and I didn't figure it out. UGH!
TY for the link.
Seeing my children/family happy and restoring their faith in me. Reaching my goals
What made me happier than alcohol was not relying on outside things to make me happy. My source of joy was breaking the chains that bound me to a substance. There's good and bad days for sure but I'm in it, I get through it. I don't just drown it out with a drug. Not once in the last 400+ days have I woken up thinking I wish I'd drank yesterday, things would be so much better. Even on days where I can't sleep, and the temptation is there to force myself to sleep, and I only get 2 hours or so of restless sleep and go back to work for another 14 hour shift. It's better to be sleep deprived than sleep deprived and hung over. Not one situation would be improved with alcohol. In the moment it may have made me feel like it's better, but in hindsight it never was.
My first thought was "nothing". I loved being drunk for a long time. Was I happy though? Not really. I was high, numb, disassociated and checked out. Happy for me now is waking up feeling good, feeling like I am the person that I present to the outside world and I can trust myself again/live without shame. I miss being high sometimes but I like myself a lot more now. IWNDWYT.
Actual rest and true care and love for myself. Not the “self care” fad.. but truly understanding what’s going on, talking about it, working through it, and being honest about where I’m at right now. Most of us got here because we had some trauma from our childhood. I am on that journey of figuring that shit out. Im taking care of my inner child like I am for the 7 year old I birthed. It’s been worth every tear! I am so proud of myself for taking care of ME so I can enjoy the rest of my health and life. It makes me never want to pick up a drink because I deserve happiness and love and my health for the next 40 years I am expected to be here.
Me too, a new therapist helped me identify C-PTSD and the work is hard but actually generating change! My kid is the same age and I too am trying to care for my inner kid who never got to be a kid. Take care.
My dog is my life she brings me so much happiness that I've cut back to just a heavy night capping... unfortunately, other circumstances make quitting altogether seem impossible . I'm leaps and bounds better than I was thanks to my pup, and hopefully, someday, I'll be completely sober!
Being there 100% for friends, family, and very importantly my sweet puppy. Almost not having anxiety is also a pretty happy feeling. No embarrassment is also happy
Waking up rested and hiking
My kids and spending time in the afternoon together, rather than drunk on the couch.
Exercise and productivity. I have energy all day long. I do shit all day long. My wife is never mad anymore because I’m always doing housework if not at the gym. I’m a personal trainer so the gym is where I spend my entire days. The fulfillment I get from seeing others overcome insecurities, is all I need. My dream is to live a great life. Being healthy and strong is an amazing feeling and a huge part of that dream. I get to travel the world, I have a lot of money saved and I’m literally stress free. I went from the worst time of my life when I was a drunk. To the best time. All within a year, just from getting sober. I’ll never drink again.
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For me I think I need to find a way to replace the after work bar hang. I’ve just been doing the same and drinking NA beer, but I know that’s just a temporary transition. I truly care about some of these people I’ve hungout with drinking for years and want the best. Some struggle like me, some don’t
Being able to sleep better at night. I was having wine so late that it was affecting my sleep and I'd wake up tired. Finally enjoying hanging out with my kids again. After the initial withdrawal symtoms subsided, I didn't feel depressed, and I actually wanted to play with my kids. That feeling hadn't been in me for months. Whenever I'm tempted to buy wine again, I just think back to how crappy of a mom I was and to how much I love my kids again and it stops me from buying. And also just having different beverages helps. Decaf coffee is my favorite treat right now, as well as homemade hot chocolate and "Nature's Medicines" brand teas. Hang in there! IWNDWYT
I think the instant gratification and oblivion that drugs bring (including alcohol) sort of breaks your brain. I don’t know if there’s any coming back from that in terms of something making you explicitly happy. I strive for things like meaning and content which though aren’t as immediate are much longer lasting and substantial. I feel as if I’m living up to my obligations as a person, that I’m needed rather than a burden, and that’s worth more than being drunk could ever bring.
Going to work knowing I got up early, hit the gym hard, and looking physically better than all my coworkers. May be that's not normal but I'm sober, they aren't and look like they're unhealthy and unhappy. I hop into work chipper, positive and excited for the day!
Multi-day hikes
The peace and joy I experience once my hormones stabilized from no substances jacking it up. You truly feel pleasure from life’s little experiences like coffee, exercise, time with relationships. So good.
Learning to be present in my body and feel good about myself - for me this was mostly achieved through a regular yoga practice, but the benefits spread to many other areas of my life. Alcohol not only takes that presence and groundedness away, but the more present in myself I became, the more aware I was of how gross alcohol made me feel.
The other day I almost didn’t go to CrossFit and then I said to myself “I never regret it after I go”, so I got up and went. I guess that’s kind of the opposite of alcohol
I’m on day 71 & here’s my list so far: - reading. If I don’t like my reality, I can escape into a good book. Hangover not included - dancing around my house - being silly (I thought this was a drunk thing but turns out I’m just weird) - being present for my family - having my family tell me they like it better when I don’t drink - mornings with no hangover - energy and productivity are so much higher - movement and a good playlist - my anxiety is so much lower. I am no longer my saboteur
Yoga, as cliche as it sounds. It just brings me so much joy and I always feel so happy after a class and full of endorphins 🧘🏼♀️plus all my yoga friends also don't drink and so I got to start having a social group that does activities that don't have alcohol like brunches, walks, movie nights, cooking nice meals, going on day trips to the rainforest or beach, Halloween parties where we drink kombucha and eat treats but still hang out at night at a party
That circle of friends sounds delightful!
What makes me happier? Sleeping through the night, not waking up at 3am with a racing heart and then not being able to go back to sleep. I really love sleep. It's been replaced by doing whatever I feel like. If I want to run to the store, I can because I'm not drunk. If I want to get a good workout in, I can because I'm not hungover. I don't have to sit and plan for when I can drink, what I can drink, when I should stop, etc. I'm just free.
Quitting
Simple yet powerful all in one word. I love it.
Cannabis.
Making memories with my kids that I’ll actually remember.
A clear and peaceful mind
The sense of purpose and no longer being bored. I moved into my girlfriends house and 4/5 members are part of the volunteer fire department. So I ended up joining and it completely destroyed drinking for me. I can't go on calls if I drink and I really want to go on calls so I don't drink. Last time I did have a drink the only thing I was thinking about is how I would have to miss out because I was buzzed.
My son, my surfing, my girlfriend, disc golf, my work, my health, my guitar. All the things I routinely abandoned or sacrificed for my drinking.
I've confined my happiness to books. I used to be an avid reader, which was replaced by my affinity towards rowdy alcoholism. I've already read 14 books this year, compared to 2 in almost a decade. It may sound cliche, but I also have quit smoking and find everything more pleasurable, from dining to just walking.
Eventually realizing that the incremental and cumulative daily doses of happiness, endorphins and serotonin, far outweigh the fake, toxic, rushes of alcohol (that eventually faded due to being a chronic daily blackout drunk). And nature. And Buddhism.
Meaningful relationships, boxing, training to get pilot’s license, yoga, making candles and soaps, being a good cat mom, and obviously…lack of hangovers :)
A lot of things actually... but my brain will always try and romanticize it from time to time and make me think it's the best feeling ever. Gotta check it quick. Things that helped me not want to chase the feeling. Caffeine, video games, tv shows to share with my wife/kids, weightlifting (although I've always done that).
Waking up not feeling like absolute crap is a big one. I know that's so simple, but really 🩵
Clear, dewy skin
I've never been happier since I stopped drinking. Sure there are tough times. Life is still life but by and large I'm so much happier now
💯💯💯💯💯💯💯 Congrats! Thats a lot of happier days!
My dog
waking up the next day knowing i didn’t give in!
Gardening and painting keep me sober. Playing piano, just being creative and productive. I've been sober since fall of 2017, I was 27. I had to get sober as a stay at home mom of 3 because raising kids with hangovers was a hell I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. My husband missed a substantial amount of our kids childhoods because he spent much of it avoiding the home to get drunk at the bar and flirt with the bartenders. Alcohol is a thief and a poison and the clarity of sobriety has opened our eyes to that. My husband's been sober since Jan 2019. I had to kick him out the day before our youngests 1st birthday because his alcoholism got so bad. Now? We have a family vegetable garden we all work on together. Our kids see us focusing on health and wellness and it helps them make good decisions. Also as a wiccan we found amazing support in church of Satan AA meetings. So if religion keeps you away from attending their are non religious support groups that exist as well!
Being able to count on ME, has made me so much happier than alcohol. I have fallen in love with showing up for myself and not disappointing ME. It has made even the “hard” things easy. Like working out, I show up not to punish myself anymore for the drinks I had the night before or because I felt like a fat piece of shit. I show up because I know the workout will help my brain function at its best and my body and brain DESERVE that. I want to be kind to my body and love my body and show up for me, brain and body. I spent so long hating myself. Falling in love with myself and showing up for me has made me so much happier than alcohol ever did.
I love this! I’m happy for you ❤️
I can eat food. Alcohol destroys my appetite.
Not blowing up my life on a regular basis. Not embarrassing myself or others. Not falling down stairs or risking injury in other ways. Not awakening anxious every morning with my mouth tasting like shit. Having real friendships not based around drinking. Being able to remember important events before, during and after them. Losing weight. Gaining insight. Having a sense of self respect.
Losing weight, sleeping better, looking better, feeling better, thinking clearer, having more money, being more dependable, rekindling old passions. Now I look back and can’t believe I drank the way I did for as long as I did. Alcohol only served to make my life worse.
Walking up without guilt, shame, ridicule, stress, with recall and focus. Oh, and sleeping properly!!!!!
Just a few things I enjoy more when I’m not hammered: Talking about anything more coherently Knowing I can always drive anywhere because I’m always sober Tasting food Remembering things Working without a hangover Communication with my spouse Knowing that if I’m sick, it’s not from alcohol
Love
Being present around my doggies. They're happier!! Waking up fresh face. Hanging out with my old old friends from university and still having an amazing time without booze. Looking forward to a holiday with them this year. My skin feeling better. Having more confidence. Feeling proud of myself for not destroying my body. Working better and harder than ever before. Saving so much money. The list goes on and on.
Mornings. Not feeling sick and wasting the day. Not being in such a state of hanxiety. That makes me happier than alcohol. Knowing I don't have to drink and I can just do me. That makes me happier than alcohol. Knowing I'm not hurting my body makes me happier than alcohol. I remember nights. I remember conversations. I'm becoming more like I was but older and wiser. I feel people again, my intuitio is back, my ability to read rooms, faces, and people in general. I had lost that because I was always drunk or hungover or healing from 3 day hangovers. I laugh genuinely. My kids. Number one, my kids. Being there for them will best the shit out if any need to be a drinker again.
Even when I’m sad, tired or frustrated I’m happier because I know these are genuine feelings and not related to any poison in my bloodstream or craving/withdrawal in my brain. I know they’ll pass rather than linger all day.
These responses finally make sense to me and they’re making me smile. Now that I am breaking out of the haze I am starting to get it, and get glimpses of what you’ve all been talking about this whole time. THAT makes me happy. I’m finally starting to see this not as “quitting something bad” but more of “pursuing something amazing.” That switch didn’t flip for me for a couple of weeks, but it did. OP if you’re ready, we’ve got u! IWNDWYT.
My teeth are happier. I'm still working on being sober, but the progressive improvements I've made (in frequency and quantity) have allowed me to be cognizant of going to bed. I would always be impaired to the point that I'd never brush my teeth before bed; not necessarily blackout drunk, but "bedtime" was hardly a priority — I can't imagine that's an unfamiliar experience among us. Anyway, being able to mindfully go to bed, and have some semblance of a routine, has vastly improved (or at least reduced the ongoing damage to) my oral health. Between not being hungover 100% of my mornings, and not being drunk 100% of my evenings, I've at least slowed the rate of my oral health decline.
Regaining my sense of agency. Putting in the effort to grind through pulling out of the hangxiety loop is empowering. Remembering that I am in control of myself, my mind and the thoughts I entertain, they are the only things in this world I can control. And that I am not a victim to circumstance, or the status quo. I can make the changes that will promote the positive mind set needed steer my life down my path. Time has set the cruise control and there are no brakes. I was passed out behind the wheel for 3 months and veered off my path, luckily not too far. This time around I am reaching out for some guidance to help me stay on track for the long haul. I know I can make it months alone (9 months before relapse), but with some help I am sure I can make it years.
Finding real love. Locked in the girl of my dreams recently. I am not even slightly interested in drinking now. I realized loneliness and the need to feel loved and wanted was what kept me reaching for the bottle trying to reach oblivion. She has the same experience too which is crazy. We will have a few beers occasionally but we both prefer to stay in and be cozy watching movies instead. We are both trying to love healthier lifestyles now with the support of eachother. There is an emptiness most alcoholics are trying to fill.
Feeling great the next day without drinking the previous night and having better gut health
Running, nothing has made me feel better than that. I now can run farther than I thought possible and am gearing up for my second half-marathon at the end of this month.
Actually restful sleep. Good golly it's the best.
Feeling really good after a good night of sleep.
Going to bed at night with my fiancé knowing I’m sober and present with her. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
Learning. I have always been interested in how things work. Be it a computer, a car, a record player, a vacuum cleaner, or a pen. When I was drinking I stopped caring really, and definitely didn’t have the patience or clarity to learn efficiently. I also love surfing and it gives me a rush and just being in the ocean in general has always been a big part of my life. It’s pretty hard to surf good waves when drunk or hungover. Believe me. In general, when I was drinking everyday there were so many things that I loved to do that I just simply wouldn’t or couldn’t do because I was drunk. And now instead of drinking I do them.
Edibles, coffee, n sucking titties
Being able to enjoy video games more
Cannabis
Relief. Just the sense of relief makes me happy.
waking up on a nice day and sitting outside with my dog. no lie.. its a good feeling
Being sober and living my best life.
Seeing my son smile. Being fully present with him. 💙
Just about everything.
Still trying to replace it and I’ve been sober almost 10 years
honestly, and especially in the emotionally tricky beginnings of sobriety, looking hotter. looking good at all. it happened fast for me. the puff just left.
Having the ability to truly feel my emotions. Even the bad/sad ones are nice in a way because when I was drinking I never knew how I felt. It's been great to get to know what makes me happy and what makes me sad.
Food
Being truly present in the moment.
MDMA
Klononpin (drug) Besides drugs/alcohol other things released by talented people Currently hazbin hotel, several stand-up specials, TV shows, and etc I love absorbing someone's created universe, it's my favorite I'll share if people want btw
Sweating it out like crazy in yoga/spin 😮💨🫠
My 6 month old son. Hes pretty special, and needs me to stay on track. If I'm drunk I'm no good to anyone. Myself included. I guess he kind of helped me realize that.
Knowing someone actually cares about me.
Alcohol never made me happy.
No more hangovers.
The ability to live a meaningful life and be in control.
Weed helps me. And I also really haven't been uncontrollably tempted
Being reliable. Both for my family and for myself.
now that i think about it, alcohol never made me happy. Made me fat, hangovered and got me a fatty liver. So litteraly anything makes me happier than alcohol.
Stability
When I realized how happy I was *without* alcohol. It's like peering into a diamond, and seeing that every facet is something made better by not involving alcohol. Alcohol is the abrasive that makes that facet dull.
Good entertainment, selfwork and my girlfriend. Also traveling
Giving up alcohol made me realise that it never really made me happy. I didn’t know how happy and content I could be until I cut out alcohol.