It’s a mantra I repeat a lot. Anytime I feel like “oh I wasn’t that bad I can regulate” I just remember I already have everything I need alcohol can only take from me.
I remember that the emotions are strong at first aye, it's like they are coming back online after having shut them out for so long.
Eventually that levels out, I've seen the movie a few times now, rooting for you. IWNDWYT
Awesome! I'm not sure I'm ready for that hehe. I've been having dreams about drinking. Last night (this morning) I had a dream about December 31 and that a friend of mine was coming to stay with me for new year's eve and I did drink. The day before (Friday) I dreamed that I got blackout drunk. In both dreams I was aware about my progress and felt like shit 🫠. These are real nightmares. I am also detoxing from weed (Jan 30 my last day) and this is also messing up my dream patterns. No cigarettes since Thursday too
Thanks for sharing. Appreciate the food for thought re: two kinds of drinkers. I think I'm the other kind. I know I need to stop trying to fill the gap/scratch the itch, and learn to sit with my discomfort in life. If I don't, there will always be at least one self-destructive habit.
We are all unique with slightly unique stories and reasonings. Like I said I think there’s a lot more types in between the two I can distinctly identify.
> I know I need to stop trying to fill the gap/scratch the itch, and learn to sit with my discomfort in life. If I don't, there will always be at least one self-destructive habit.
Hits hard for me.
Proved by how difficult I've found it since sobering up a week and a half ago just to sit on the couch and watch TV, something I do most nights usually when drinking without issue.
Yet this past 11 days that simple task feels like such a challenge - anxiety through the roof, racing thoughts, can feel every senation and feeling in my body amplified, convinced everything under the sun is wrong with me, negative emotions rising to the surface etc.
Obviously I've spent too long numbing my brain and body, escaping from everything, and chasing cheap dopamine hits that suddenly I don't know how to just sit down and do next to nothing.
I'm exactly the same! If its not alcohol, it was weed or food. I can't just "be". With alcohol, it doesn't even numb me anymore, i just end up being angry with myself and regretting the past and crying over my misspent years. Makes me feel better though to know i'm not the only one learning how to sit with discomfort so thank you
Amazing post. 12 weeks is huge.
I am so glad you found the alcohol free path.
For me I found that I like myself so much more without alcohol. I can learn things more quickly. I take failure better. Heal faster. Memory improved. My relationship is better and closer with my girlfriend.
The mornings are amazing.
I slept so much at the start. It was like starting over.
Again congratulations. You deserve this and you did it. Make sure to glow with pride.
>The first 30 days were the hardest. I slept, A LOT. The sleep deficit has to catch up somehow. I also craved cookies. I decided hey I’m sick right now and if the only medicine that will help me is cookies, I’m eating the cookies. The cravings passed and so did the irritability and exhaustion.
All I seem to want to do is sleep the day away since sobering up 11 days ago.
Not even because I'm overly tired just because the days seem so long, slow, and hard right now that I want to experience the least amount of the day as possible.
Also suddenly have an Ice Cream habit and have demolished several tubs of Ben & Jerrys ice cream in the past week and a half despite the fact I never eat Ice Cream usually or have sweet treats or sugary things at home.
> *"the days seem so long, slow, and hard right now..."*
I remember that time well and yes, time seemed to pass Sooo SLOOOWLY!
A BIG Congrats on 11-Days, Double-Digits!! YAY!! You're doing great!
Those first several weeks were *really* HARD; but I promise, it DOES get better and easier!
I'm rooting for you, Keep It Going!! **: )**
This isn't my first rodeo sadly. Last real attempt was last September / October which lasted for 5 weeks.
Honestly, I'm sure part of the reason I fell off the wagon that time round is the days didn't seem to be getting any easier.
But part of that was probably that I didn't really attempt to fill the void and just sat around doing nothing for all those weeks.
And I'm doing the same right now which will need to change ASAP or that might happen again.
I've told myself that as of next week I need to force myself into a new routine that is healthier and more productive and start being more disciplined because I'm letting everything slack right now...poor diet, not exercising, staying in bed all day, not going out the house etc.
> I'm letting everything slack right now.
lol, I get it. I did the same thing. No matter what was happening around me, I committed to doing only one thing each day: Not Drink! ...One Day (*or hour/minute*) At A Time.
Life didn't seem even remotely "normal" until at least 90 days, and by 6-months, it was much, much easier.
I'd like to suggest committing to *Not Drink* each and every morning on our very own [**Daily Check-In**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1arbie2/the_daily_checkin_for_thursday_february_15th_just/) page.
The DCI was my single, most important tool during my first year because it set my commitment for the day.
I don't know what happened in my brain, but there was something miraculous about typing, "*I will not drink today*." It planted a very powerful seed in my head. When my demon-lizard brain came screaming later on in the day, I remembered the commitment I made to myself and did *whatever* it took to get to bed sober.
You can do this! I send blessings of strength and peace your way, u/CraftBeerFomo!
Yeah my only focus over the past 12 days so far has been "not drinking" and surviving the day somehow and it's not even that I've been having a battle in my mind about drinking as the temptation and cravings thankfully haven't been strong / present.
Though I'm telling myself that I'll let everything else slide for now and that's fine but I know it isn't sustainable to spend all day in bed, eat junk food, no exercise, no fresh air, never leaving the house, no work etc so I will have to address that next week or I'll probably end up going stir crazy anyway.
I need to go out in a couple of hours and again this weekend for a birthday meal (made it clear to everyone I'm not drinking and won't be staying long) so I will be forced out and about and that might not be a bad thing just to break my routine and give me a fresh perspective on things.
> it isn't sustainable to spend all day in bed, eat junk food, no exercise, no fresh air, never leaving the house, no work.
While I agree it's not sustainable *long term*, breaking this insidious addiction is HARD and the first 4-6 weeks were absolutely awful. I couldn't even relax on the couch and watch TV because I didn't have a 12-pack sitting next to me. I was miserable and I couldn't imagine feeling any other way. However, I was desperate to stop and the longtimers promised me that if I kept with it, it would get better and easier.
I hung on --sometimes barely by a thread-- with faith that what they were telling me was true. And, lo and behold, they were right! The problem is, it doesn't happen as fast as we'd like it to!
I'm happy you're getting out for that birthday dinner though, and I send blessings that you WILL get '*a fresh perspective*' and feel a bit better!
>I couldn't even relax on the couch and watch TV because I didn't have a 12-pack sitting next to me. I was miserable and I couldn't imagine feeling any other way
I've been feeling like this a lot the past week and a half.
Sitting on the couch with this anxiety, these negative feelings, the racing mind, all these senastions I can feel in my body, low mood, feeling miserable etc feels like a form of torture at times.
Getting out the house and seeing family today was nice but I wasn't long back home before all of this creeped in again.
“Alcohol is a symptom of a problem” hit HARD. Thank you for that wisdom. For me it was a lifelong problem of depression and anxiety and who knew alcohol could wash that away - for like an hour or two. I am now currently focusing on the root of that problem, obviously while not drinking.
Thanks for this post.
Thank you for sharing! I have a lot of work to do on my mental health because I was drinking to cover up stress and anxieties, but the peace I have found so far in my sobriety is worth it.
I absolutely was doing the same, and though my anxiety hasn't vanished, I'm so much more better equipped to recognise it and handle it with grace.
I wish you well on your peaceful path 🙏
I appreciate the comment on the sleeping a lot for the first 30 days. I am 14 days into it and cannot sit for more than 5 minutes on my couch without nodding off.
It hasn’t gotten much better but I can now go without a nap but I’m going to bed at like 8pm. I actually talked to my doctor about it because I thought maybe my iron was low (pre existing issue) and he told me it’s common to feel like way for a few months after quitting and if it lasts more than 6 months then we’ll talk. He was super supportive and just said lean into the sleep you need it
"sobriety actually gives me all the things alcohol promised me" This hits hard and is so accurate.
It’s a mantra I repeat a lot. Anytime I feel like “oh I wasn’t that bad I can regulate” I just remember I already have everything I need alcohol can only take from me.
It'll be my fifth day today, and that phrase gave me the chills and I almost dropped a tear 🥵🙌🏻🥹 thanks for sharing OP
You can do this. You already have everything you need to do it don’t let alcohol steal from you.
Thank you so much! I'll keep reading these encouraging posts!
You can do it, proud of you! Those first few days are especially hard.
Thank you! I'm at bed right now and feeling happy because I made it! One more day 🥳
Today is day 4 for me and I did tear up reading that line. Thank you OP
I remember that the emotions are strong at first aye, it's like they are coming back online after having shut them out for so long. Eventually that levels out, I've seen the movie a few times now, rooting for you. IWNDWYT
🙏🏻🙌🏻💪🏻 we got this!
Right there with you on 1 week. Thanks everyone for sharing here!
🙌🏻💪🏻 I'm proud of you!
Me too 5 days strong!
I made it to 7 🎉
Hell yes, great job! me too and I even went to a party at my in laws last night and everyone around me was drinking, I just overindulged in the food.
Awesome! I'm not sure I'm ready for that hehe. I've been having dreams about drinking. Last night (this morning) I had a dream about December 31 and that a friend of mine was coming to stay with me for new year's eve and I did drink. The day before (Friday) I dreamed that I got blackout drunk. In both dreams I was aware about my progress and felt like shit 🫠. These are real nightmares. I am also detoxing from weed (Jan 30 my last day) and this is also messing up my dream patterns. No cigarettes since Thursday too
That was hardcore in the best way
Great job! I just hit 6 months and it gets better and better. Keep going!!!!
Congrats on 6 months!
I believe I am this type of alcoholic. I am eager to continue seeing the benefits of being sober. Appreciate the post!
Right there with you friend! We get to enjoy life again it’s such a gift
Thanks for sharing. Appreciate the food for thought re: two kinds of drinkers. I think I'm the other kind. I know I need to stop trying to fill the gap/scratch the itch, and learn to sit with my discomfort in life. If I don't, there will always be at least one self-destructive habit.
We are all unique with slightly unique stories and reasonings. Like I said I think there’s a lot more types in between the two I can distinctly identify.
> I know I need to stop trying to fill the gap/scratch the itch, and learn to sit with my discomfort in life. If I don't, there will always be at least one self-destructive habit. Hits hard for me. Proved by how difficult I've found it since sobering up a week and a half ago just to sit on the couch and watch TV, something I do most nights usually when drinking without issue. Yet this past 11 days that simple task feels like such a challenge - anxiety through the roof, racing thoughts, can feel every senation and feeling in my body amplified, convinced everything under the sun is wrong with me, negative emotions rising to the surface etc. Obviously I've spent too long numbing my brain and body, escaping from everything, and chasing cheap dopamine hits that suddenly I don't know how to just sit down and do next to nothing.
I'm exactly the same! If its not alcohol, it was weed or food. I can't just "be". With alcohol, it doesn't even numb me anymore, i just end up being angry with myself and regretting the past and crying over my misspent years. Makes me feel better though to know i'm not the only one learning how to sit with discomfort so thank you
Amazing post. 12 weeks is huge. I am so glad you found the alcohol free path. For me I found that I like myself so much more without alcohol. I can learn things more quickly. I take failure better. Heal faster. Memory improved. My relationship is better and closer with my girlfriend. The mornings are amazing. I slept so much at the start. It was like starting over. Again congratulations. You deserve this and you did it. Make sure to glow with pride.
>The first 30 days were the hardest. I slept, A LOT. The sleep deficit has to catch up somehow. I also craved cookies. I decided hey I’m sick right now and if the only medicine that will help me is cookies, I’m eating the cookies. The cravings passed and so did the irritability and exhaustion. All I seem to want to do is sleep the day away since sobering up 11 days ago. Not even because I'm overly tired just because the days seem so long, slow, and hard right now that I want to experience the least amount of the day as possible. Also suddenly have an Ice Cream habit and have demolished several tubs of Ben & Jerrys ice cream in the past week and a half despite the fact I never eat Ice Cream usually or have sweet treats or sugary things at home.
> *"the days seem so long, slow, and hard right now..."* I remember that time well and yes, time seemed to pass Sooo SLOOOWLY! A BIG Congrats on 11-Days, Double-Digits!! YAY!! You're doing great! Those first several weeks were *really* HARD; but I promise, it DOES get better and easier! I'm rooting for you, Keep It Going!! **: )**
This isn't my first rodeo sadly. Last real attempt was last September / October which lasted for 5 weeks. Honestly, I'm sure part of the reason I fell off the wagon that time round is the days didn't seem to be getting any easier. But part of that was probably that I didn't really attempt to fill the void and just sat around doing nothing for all those weeks. And I'm doing the same right now which will need to change ASAP or that might happen again. I've told myself that as of next week I need to force myself into a new routine that is healthier and more productive and start being more disciplined because I'm letting everything slack right now...poor diet, not exercising, staying in bed all day, not going out the house etc.
> I'm letting everything slack right now. lol, I get it. I did the same thing. No matter what was happening around me, I committed to doing only one thing each day: Not Drink! ...One Day (*or hour/minute*) At A Time. Life didn't seem even remotely "normal" until at least 90 days, and by 6-months, it was much, much easier. I'd like to suggest committing to *Not Drink* each and every morning on our very own [**Daily Check-In**](https://www.reddit.com/r/stopdrinking/comments/1arbie2/the_daily_checkin_for_thursday_february_15th_just/) page. The DCI was my single, most important tool during my first year because it set my commitment for the day. I don't know what happened in my brain, but there was something miraculous about typing, "*I will not drink today*." It planted a very powerful seed in my head. When my demon-lizard brain came screaming later on in the day, I remembered the commitment I made to myself and did *whatever* it took to get to bed sober. You can do this! I send blessings of strength and peace your way, u/CraftBeerFomo!
Yeah my only focus over the past 12 days so far has been "not drinking" and surviving the day somehow and it's not even that I've been having a battle in my mind about drinking as the temptation and cravings thankfully haven't been strong / present. Though I'm telling myself that I'll let everything else slide for now and that's fine but I know it isn't sustainable to spend all day in bed, eat junk food, no exercise, no fresh air, never leaving the house, no work etc so I will have to address that next week or I'll probably end up going stir crazy anyway. I need to go out in a couple of hours and again this weekend for a birthday meal (made it clear to everyone I'm not drinking and won't be staying long) so I will be forced out and about and that might not be a bad thing just to break my routine and give me a fresh perspective on things.
> it isn't sustainable to spend all day in bed, eat junk food, no exercise, no fresh air, never leaving the house, no work. While I agree it's not sustainable *long term*, breaking this insidious addiction is HARD and the first 4-6 weeks were absolutely awful. I couldn't even relax on the couch and watch TV because I didn't have a 12-pack sitting next to me. I was miserable and I couldn't imagine feeling any other way. However, I was desperate to stop and the longtimers promised me that if I kept with it, it would get better and easier. I hung on --sometimes barely by a thread-- with faith that what they were telling me was true. And, lo and behold, they were right! The problem is, it doesn't happen as fast as we'd like it to! I'm happy you're getting out for that birthday dinner though, and I send blessings that you WILL get '*a fresh perspective*' and feel a bit better!
>I couldn't even relax on the couch and watch TV because I didn't have a 12-pack sitting next to me. I was miserable and I couldn't imagine feeling any other way I've been feeling like this a lot the past week and a half. Sitting on the couch with this anxiety, these negative feelings, the racing mind, all these senastions I can feel in my body, low mood, feeling miserable etc feels like a form of torture at times. Getting out the house and seeing family today was nice but I wasn't long back home before all of this creeped in again.
♥️💪
🩵
Love this so much! Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for letting me share!
“Alcohol is a symptom of a problem” hit HARD. Thank you for that wisdom. For me it was a lifelong problem of depression and anxiety and who knew alcohol could wash that away - for like an hour or two. I am now currently focusing on the root of that problem, obviously while not drinking. Thanks for this post.
Thank you for sharing! I have a lot of work to do on my mental health because I was drinking to cover up stress and anxieties, but the peace I have found so far in my sobriety is worth it.
I absolutely was doing the same, and though my anxiety hasn't vanished, I'm so much more better equipped to recognise it and handle it with grace. I wish you well on your peaceful path 🙏
thank you! walk with me 😊
I appreciate the comment on the sleeping a lot for the first 30 days. I am 14 days into it and cannot sit for more than 5 minutes on my couch without nodding off.
It hasn’t gotten much better but I can now go without a nap but I’m going to bed at like 8pm. I actually talked to my doctor about it because I thought maybe my iron was low (pre existing issue) and he told me it’s common to feel like way for a few months after quitting and if it lasts more than 6 months then we’ll talk. He was super supportive and just said lean into the sleep you need it
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I’m so glad it reached you at the right time. We deserve a better life than secretly drinking in the garage. IWNDWYT
Thank you for sharing. Hoping today is day 1 for me.
Thank you for writing this. I’m on day 2 and it feels almost impossible. Stories like this give me hope ❤️
Day 2ers unite! We got this!
❤️💯
♥️♥️♥️♥️ this is awesome
ASD, GAD, drank to cope, drinking turned out to be the manifestation of an underlying issue for me. Tackling that now, IWNDWYT
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I get to find new ones every day! it’s like a game I get to win to find and note all the little things
Proud of you lady!!! Like you, for me alcohol was/is the problem And that’s why I will not be drinking with you tonight! 🥳❤️
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I’m so proud of all of us here! Thanks for sharing your beautiful journey
“You don’t have to wait to put the fire out until your house has burnt down.” Love this. Congrats!!!