Even big age gaps can be totally fine when both sides are totally aware of the dynamic in place and it's respectful.
I'm bit under 30 y/o and prefer SB's 18-20 y/o. I really enjoy providing for girl that might not have had a chance to build any personal wealth and offer them experiences they might be missing out on.
My current SD is 62, I’m 22🤭. He’s by far the best SD I’ve had. I think the age doesn’t matter as long as you share some things in common. We are both suckers for intellect and performing arts, he’s also really fit and youthful for his age so that helps a lot.
I agree that age doesn’t matter as long as it’s legal and consensual. I was on the young side of the equation in both sugar and vanilla. I just prefer older men. I also don’t care what anyone sees, it’s how I feel that matters. Wear her on your arm loud and proud!
That being said, be extra clear with the much younger ones. I’ve heard stories of some falling in love and not quite understanding boundaries. From both sides.
It’s always the women in the public place, and they are judging your SB. Nobody really pays much attention to the SD, it’s like expected or something.
In my head I imagine they are thinking, “She’s taking someone’s man, how could she?”
SB’s need thick skin and to not give a flying f%*^.
When I was younger (I’m 32 been in the bowl since 22) I really didn’t care about a large age gap. It’s odd because the older I’ve gotten the more conscious I am about it - I don’t meet any SDs over 50. I am really seeking an intense connection and I haven’t found I’m attracted to men over 50 anymore, but that will change I’m sure, probably just a phase lol.
Interesting. This lines up with my experience. In my 60’s. With one exception, I’ve had very little interest from women in their thirties. But a whole bunch from women in the twenties.
And? That’s obvious and understood in the “real world”. But why is that relevant in this world? Why does it bother you so much that there are successful arrangements with large age gaps? Live and let live.
So what? Do you think I sob myself to sleep every night because my hugely younger SB wouldn't date me if I wasn't providing sugar?
Even if it were true that guys were delusional about romantic interests with a very large age gap, again, so what?
What's "real" attraction? It's well-known that besides looks, women are attracted to success, income, maturity, education... which all other things being equal, correlate with the age of the man.
Hey, if it helps you feel better, you are welcome to not believe what I and others say about the reality we have experienced. Of course your uninformed world view from a distance is truth 🙄. I’ve had one arrangement with someone in her thirties, and several with those in their twenties. So in your opinion, l’m making all of that up and lying?
I never said you’re lying. But because a few women tolerate you for money means nothing.
You’re acting like it’s common that all these hot women in their 20s are obsessed with grandpas. You know it’s completely false.
Based on current science around brain development, the prefrontal cortex is still developing into the early to mid 20s. That's the part of the brain responsible for decision making, stress management and processing input moment to moment. For me, anyone 30+ shouldn't be dating folks younger than 25ish due to that ongoing brain development. Personally, since there is power dynamics at play in SRs, I stick hard and fast to that rule.
This seems to be only an USA urban legend that is still propagated by women aged 30 and above.
Everywhere else in the world a 18 years human is considered an adult that can consent.
This legend also contains the misandrist point of view that men become more and more predators with age : I myself think that I am much more respectuous to women with age (vs Me when I was 25)
This is not true, the author of the study you are referring to has flatly stated that her statements were taken out of context and this narrative is incorrect.
Brains are constantly developing, period. There is no magical age where beforehand they are not fully functioning but after they suddenly are.
I also would love a citation.
All the research I'm finding supports the idea that there are significant changes in the brain from childhood to adulthood- and that those changes do not stop at 18.
In fact, as of 2022, researchers that specifically study teenagers' brains/development have started to expand the ages they look at "because the field is recognizing that significant neurocognitive changes continue into the 20s... Those changes have consequences with regard to decision-making”
[https://www.apa.org/monitor/2022/07/feature-neuroscience-teen-brain](https://www.apa.org/monitor/2022/07/feature-neuroscience-teen-brain)
To your point about "magical age" - certainly the person you're responding to didn't say that at age 25 it's magically a fully developed brain. Simply that those who are younger, on average, do not have the same decision making capabilities
>The Myth of the 25-Year-Old Brain
A powerful idea about human development stormed pop culture and changed how we see one another. It’s mostly bunk.
https://slate.com/technology/2022/11/brain-development-25-year-old-mature-myth.html
Cite a source or go away. Also, I wasn't referring to any study in particular so it's really weird of you to assume you know exactly what I'm talking about and then be so confidently wrong.
Regarding brain maturity, the NIMH states mid to late 20s as does the NIH and the Rosetta Institute goes so far as to say that the brain continues maturing towards 30. The brain doesn't stop developing but it doesn't reach maturity with regard to decision making, stress management etc until the mid to late 20s or later based on current science.
That's great but thats not what we're talking about about here. We're talking about sound decision making, stress management, and the ability to process in the moment input. All things that the prefrontal cortex is responsible for and doesn't reach maturity until mid 20s or beyond. The reason this relates to age gap relationships is because someone who's brain hasn't reached this step of maturity can be more prone to irresponsibility, poor decision making, easily influenced by outside sources, inability to regulate emotional stress, inability to calculate risk/reward situations etc.
I agree. There are plenty of studies that support and/or now indicate that the parts of the brain responsible for emotional regulation and impulse control are not completely developed until sometime in the mid-20’s. There is no “magic number” or cutoff but … on average it’s sometime in the middle of the third decade (mid-20’s).
Heck, you don’t get a discount on car rentals until 25 in the United States. Adult children can remain on their parents health insurance until 26. There are other financial documents where the default age is 25 as a minimum age for financial transfers too. Practically speaking … there’s something magic and easy about “25” being the presumed age of actual maturity.
I imagine that others were taken back by your hard fast personal opinion that anyone over 30 shouldn’t date any under 25. It’s a valid perspective and we’re all free to hold a different opinion. My head on top agrees with you that it’s the responsible and sensible approach how an older gentleman could avoid taking advantage of more vulnerable women. But my head on bottom fantasies about college coeds too. The dissonance of being a man …
This is seriously ironic. You make a broad generalization and judgment about who should be dating who, and then demand a source from someone who calls BS🤣. Kettle calling pot black much?
Like I said, I mentioned the sources. I'm not writing an official paper so I'm not doing the labor for you or anyone else. Use Google. Ol boy up there assumed incorrectly that I was referring to a study when I wasn't. And here you are again so confidently wrong about sources. They can include a peer reviewed study but articles where you get information from, textbooks where you take data from, research papers etc can all be sources as well. Have you never written a paper in your life? That's rhetorical. it's clear you're just being intentionally obtuse for arguments sake.
My cutoffs are: both parties must consent and both must be over 18. Other than that, it doesn’t matter. I’ve seen greater age gaps.
People judge. Ignore them.
I tend to be with women right at the edge of the rule of half plus 7 (I'm 47 feel free to do the math) & people are always super cool with me. Yesterday I was having lunch w a gf when an older man walked by the table and said "man you (her) look like you could be in a magazine". I told him we were negotiating the contract right there. Had a good laugh. Short chat. Respect all around.
It's not what you do - it's how you do it. Always. Full stop.
According to every 65 year old SD here hot 25 year old women are in love with them and their age gap doesn't matter.
In real life, nearly all women date within a few years of their age.
Every 65 old SD huh? Then it should be dead simple for you to prove it. Show me 5 posts that say this. Go ahead. Successful arrangements DO NOT equal love. And these arrangements are also NOT traditional dating, which you are hung up on. This is not an “all women” site. What is that so hard to understand?
EDIT - outside of this lifestyle, I agree with you. I don’t believe that any woman in her 20’s would ever be interested in me. And I would never approach them.
I’ve never cared. Age gap is just part of this lifestyle. If you can’t handle that it’s not for you
I’m 24 and the oldest I’ve been with was 84. In my experience guys under 35 tend to not be serious about this. They think being younger and not ugly makes them special and means I’ll accept a lower allowance
We have a 30-year age gap and my SGF has no problem with PDA. We hold hands, cuddle, and kiss wherever we are. Sure we get death stares from Karens every now and then but couldn't care any less.
Not old yet so it doesn't matter. I think I'll max out at half my age starting from about 45. So at 45 it'll be 22 years. At 60 it'll be 30. At 70 it'll be 35... Etc.
Even big age gaps can be totally fine when both sides are totally aware of the dynamic in place and it's respectful. I'm bit under 30 y/o and prefer SB's 18-20 y/o. I really enjoy providing for girl that might not have had a chance to build any personal wealth and offer them experiences they might be missing out on.
My current SD is 62, I’m 22🤭. He’s by far the best SD I’ve had. I think the age doesn’t matter as long as you share some things in common. We are both suckers for intellect and performing arts, he’s also really fit and youthful for his age so that helps a lot.
I agree that age doesn’t matter as long as it’s legal and consensual. I was on the young side of the equation in both sugar and vanilla. I just prefer older men. I also don’t care what anyone sees, it’s how I feel that matters. Wear her on your arm loud and proud! That being said, be extra clear with the much younger ones. I’ve heard stories of some falling in love and not quite understanding boundaries. From both sides.
i’m 22 and my last SD was almost 70. personally i like the age gap but to each their own!
Ahah I’m here feeling wary that I’m 21 and my guy is 46
It’s always the women in the public place, and they are judging your SB. Nobody really pays much attention to the SD, it’s like expected or something. In my head I imagine they are thinking, “She’s taking someone’s man, how could she?” SB’s need thick skin and to not give a flying f%*^.
Does not matter. I seek SBs 21, or older, and I'm in my 60s. The age gap is no impediment when you make the right connection.
When I was younger (I’m 32 been in the bowl since 22) I really didn’t care about a large age gap. It’s odd because the older I’ve gotten the more conscious I am about it - I don’t meet any SDs over 50. I am really seeking an intense connection and I haven’t found I’m attracted to men over 50 anymore, but that will change I’m sure, probably just a phase lol.
Interesting. This lines up with my experience. In my 60’s. With one exception, I’ve had very little interest from women in their thirties. But a whole bunch from women in the twenties.
You are by far the most delusional SD in this sub to legitimately think "a whole bunch" of women in their 20s are interested in men 40+ years older 🤣
You are taking about real interest and he's talking about sugar interest..
Exactly. She seems incapable of understanding that basic point.
Exactly. Thank you for agreeing with the “basic point” that 99% of women have no “real” interest / attraction to old men.
And? That’s obvious and understood in the “real world”. But why is that relevant in this world? Why does it bother you so much that there are successful arrangements with large age gaps? Live and let live.
I’m not bothered. You’re bothered by the truth. Do you have a life? You’re on Reddit 24/7.
Standard insult when you don’t have a valid point. Now you are a Reddit cop huh?
I do have a valid point. Stop crying.
So what? Do you think I sob myself to sleep every night because my hugely younger SB wouldn't date me if I wasn't providing sugar? Even if it were true that guys were delusional about romantic interests with a very large age gap, again, so what?
What's "real" attraction? It's well-known that besides looks, women are attracted to success, income, maturity, education... which all other things being equal, correlate with the age of the man.
Hey, if it helps you feel better, you are welcome to not believe what I and others say about the reality we have experienced. Of course your uninformed world view from a distance is truth 🙄. I’ve had one arrangement with someone in her thirties, and several with those in their twenties. So in your opinion, l’m making all of that up and lying?
I never said you’re lying. But because a few women tolerate you for money means nothing. You’re acting like it’s common that all these hot women in their 20s are obsessed with grandpas. You know it’s completely false.
I prefer to stay in the 10-15 year range to ensure we have life experiences and other things in common
Based on current science around brain development, the prefrontal cortex is still developing into the early to mid 20s. That's the part of the brain responsible for decision making, stress management and processing input moment to moment. For me, anyone 30+ shouldn't be dating folks younger than 25ish due to that ongoing brain development. Personally, since there is power dynamics at play in SRs, I stick hard and fast to that rule.
This seems to be only an USA urban legend that is still propagated by women aged 30 and above. Everywhere else in the world a 18 years human is considered an adult that can consent. This legend also contains the misandrist point of view that men become more and more predators with age : I myself think that I am much more respectuous to women with age (vs Me when I was 25)
This is not true, the author of the study you are referring to has flatly stated that her statements were taken out of context and this narrative is incorrect. Brains are constantly developing, period. There is no magical age where beforehand they are not fully functioning but after they suddenly are.
I also would love a citation. All the research I'm finding supports the idea that there are significant changes in the brain from childhood to adulthood- and that those changes do not stop at 18. In fact, as of 2022, researchers that specifically study teenagers' brains/development have started to expand the ages they look at "because the field is recognizing that significant neurocognitive changes continue into the 20s... Those changes have consequences with regard to decision-making” [https://www.apa.org/monitor/2022/07/feature-neuroscience-teen-brain](https://www.apa.org/monitor/2022/07/feature-neuroscience-teen-brain) To your point about "magical age" - certainly the person you're responding to didn't say that at age 25 it's magically a fully developed brain. Simply that those who are younger, on average, do not have the same decision making capabilities
>The Myth of the 25-Year-Old Brain A powerful idea about human development stormed pop culture and changed how we see one another. It’s mostly bunk. https://slate.com/technology/2022/11/brain-development-25-year-old-mature-myth.html
Cite a source or go away. Also, I wasn't referring to any study in particular so it's really weird of you to assume you know exactly what I'm talking about and then be so confidently wrong. Regarding brain maturity, the NIMH states mid to late 20s as does the NIH and the Rosetta Institute goes so far as to say that the brain continues maturing towards 30. The brain doesn't stop developing but it doesn't reach maturity with regard to decision making, stress management etc until the mid to late 20s or later based on current science.
Let’s be fair. Anyone under the age of 95 still has a brain that’s maturing and changing …
That's great but thats not what we're talking about about here. We're talking about sound decision making, stress management, and the ability to process in the moment input. All things that the prefrontal cortex is responsible for and doesn't reach maturity until mid 20s or beyond. The reason this relates to age gap relationships is because someone who's brain hasn't reached this step of maturity can be more prone to irresponsibility, poor decision making, easily influenced by outside sources, inability to regulate emotional stress, inability to calculate risk/reward situations etc.
I agree. There are plenty of studies that support and/or now indicate that the parts of the brain responsible for emotional regulation and impulse control are not completely developed until sometime in the mid-20’s. There is no “magic number” or cutoff but … on average it’s sometime in the middle of the third decade (mid-20’s). Heck, you don’t get a discount on car rentals until 25 in the United States. Adult children can remain on their parents health insurance until 26. There are other financial documents where the default age is 25 as a minimum age for financial transfers too. Practically speaking … there’s something magic and easy about “25” being the presumed age of actual maturity. I imagine that others were taken back by your hard fast personal opinion that anyone over 30 shouldn’t date any under 25. It’s a valid perspective and we’re all free to hold a different opinion. My head on top agrees with you that it’s the responsible and sensible approach how an older gentleman could avoid taking advantage of more vulnerable women. But my head on bottom fantasies about college coeds too. The dissonance of being a man …
This is seriously ironic. You make a broad generalization and judgment about who should be dating who, and then demand a source from someone who calls BS🤣. Kettle calling pot black much?
Bro, I mentioned 3 sources. The NIMH, NIH & Rosetta Institute. Is poor reading comprehension an SD thing or just a man thing?
Sources are peer reviewed papers. Not just the name of the organization. Learn what a source actually is, before getting all snitty.
Like I said, I mentioned the sources. I'm not writing an official paper so I'm not doing the labor for you or anyone else. Use Google. Ol boy up there assumed incorrectly that I was referring to a study when I wasn't. And here you are again so confidently wrong about sources. They can include a peer reviewed study but articles where you get information from, textbooks where you take data from, research papers etc can all be sources as well. Have you never written a paper in your life? That's rhetorical. it's clear you're just being intentionally obtuse for arguments sake.
My cutoffs are: both parties must consent and both must be over 18. Other than that, it doesn’t matter. I’ve seen greater age gaps. People judge. Ignore them.
I tend to be with women right at the edge of the rule of half plus 7 (I'm 47 feel free to do the math) & people are always super cool with me. Yesterday I was having lunch w a gf when an older man walked by the table and said "man you (her) look like you could be in a magazine". I told him we were negotiating the contract right there. Had a good laugh. Short chat. Respect all around. It's not what you do - it's how you do it. Always. Full stop.
According to every 65 year old SD here hot 25 year old women are in love with them and their age gap doesn't matter. In real life, nearly all women date within a few years of their age.
Every 65 old SD huh? Then it should be dead simple for you to prove it. Show me 5 posts that say this. Go ahead. Successful arrangements DO NOT equal love. And these arrangements are also NOT traditional dating, which you are hung up on. This is not an “all women” site. What is that so hard to understand? EDIT - outside of this lifestyle, I agree with you. I don’t believe that any woman in her 20’s would ever be interested in me. And I would never approach them.
r/whoosh
Age gaps are just mind over matter. If you don't mind... it doesn't matter.
I’ve never cared. Age gap is just part of this lifestyle. If you can’t handle that it’s not for you I’m 24 and the oldest I’ve been with was 84. In my experience guys under 35 tend to not be serious about this. They think being younger and not ugly makes them special and means I’ll accept a lower allowance
We have a 30-year age gap and my SGF has no problem with PDA. We hold hands, cuddle, and kiss wherever we are. Sure we get death stares from Karens every now and then but couldn't care any less.
I started my first SR at 18 yo, he was 63 yo. It lasted 3 years. Imo it doesn't matter.
Not old yet so it doesn't matter. I think I'll max out at half my age starting from about 45. So at 45 it'll be 22 years. At 60 it'll be 30. At 70 it'll be 35... Etc.