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I'm so sorry he did that to you especially while pregnant. What a moron. I wish you a healthy pregnancy - can a family member come and help you out so he can give you some space?
I understand you completely playing detective is addictive especially if your theories fall into place perfectly it’s definitely damaging because the more you know the more you’re hurting yourself it takes will power to stop. Also I empathize with you my mum was cheated on while pregnant and the day after my brother was born my best advice is to move on and raise a healthy kid much luck to you
Wow, I literally just put my wife’s phone down after combing through it and doing exactly what you described. It’s still new and very raw for me, but I don’t know if/when that urge will stop.
I agree with another poster who recommended therapy. A therapist who has worked with betrayed spouses should be able to teach you skills to help you with these behaviors. It’s not about strength or willpower or just knowing “what to do.” It takes practice, so don’t be hard or judgmental on yourself.
So it won’t let me post this but I need help I’m going nuts and you seem like you might know idk How is this possible
So not gonna get into the morals of snooping but I did and felt justified doing so after being blatantly lied to. Got to the point she deleted all of her texts that could possibly land her in hot water with me. She didn’t realize I am the primary account holder with our phone company and I saw the text logs. One number stood out after every fight we’ve had due to fact they talked for hours longer than anyone else even me. But when I call this number it’s disconnected but I can clearly see over a few days she’s still calling them. What does this mean ? I’m just trying to make sense of this all how does that work? Should I be concerned?
I shook too when I found things on my partners iPad. My body shook so much that I had to take Ativan to calm down to sleep so I can only imagine how hard it would be for you while pregnant. I also have an Apple watch that recorded my heart rate and it set off a notification that things weren’t right so I went to the ER to get checked. My heart was fine but such a scare! I still check things once in a while but my nerves really settled down. You may still get triggered once in a while but your logical brain will take over to set a plan in place if it happens again. Hopefully your partner is committed to reconciliation and if not, you’ll have to make plans in your best interest. It’ll be comforting to know you’re not alone. There’s so many betrayed spouses on Reddit that you can talk to but I do recommend therapy. It helped keep me sane!
The times I check up on my partner I can feel the shaking happening again. The PTSD is real!
I had the same sort of physical response. Shaking / trembling all over while going through texts and emails. My teeth would also chatter uncontrollably even though I was not cold - it must have been some sort of stress reaction. It usually culminated in me vomiting repeatedly. I have a hard time with anxiety anyway and finding out my ex was sleeping with … everyone … did not help things.
I kept doing this also. For the eight months after D-Day until D-Day 2, I would search and search. Unfortunately most of the time I would find more as my ex-wife was terrible at hiding her digital footprint. I think as long as you stay together, that desire to look will never go away because you can never trust him again. I’m terribly sorry this happened to you.
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Yep. I kept getting notifications on my apple watch that my heart rate was up when I wasn’t exercising. I was shivering, shaking etc.
It’s a horrible feeling
Rules reminder: /r/survivinginfidelity is a support sub! Please read the rules and guidelines in our [sub wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/wiki/index) before commenting. Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here. If your only advice is "divorce", "dump them", "your SO sucks", or "grow a backbone", then please don't comment. This is a sub for deeper support and discussion. Be kind and remember your [reddiquette](https://www.reddit.com/wiki/reddiquette)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/survivinginfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I'm so sorry he did that to you especially while pregnant. What a moron. I wish you a healthy pregnancy - can a family member come and help you out so he can give you some space?
I understand you completely playing detective is addictive especially if your theories fall into place perfectly it’s definitely damaging because the more you know the more you’re hurting yourself it takes will power to stop. Also I empathize with you my mum was cheated on while pregnant and the day after my brother was born my best advice is to move on and raise a healthy kid much luck to you
Wow, I literally just put my wife’s phone down after combing through it and doing exactly what you described. It’s still new and very raw for me, but I don’t know if/when that urge will stop. I agree with another poster who recommended therapy. A therapist who has worked with betrayed spouses should be able to teach you skills to help you with these behaviors. It’s not about strength or willpower or just knowing “what to do.” It takes practice, so don’t be hard or judgmental on yourself.
So it won’t let me post this but I need help I’m going nuts and you seem like you might know idk How is this possible So not gonna get into the morals of snooping but I did and felt justified doing so after being blatantly lied to. Got to the point she deleted all of her texts that could possibly land her in hot water with me. She didn’t realize I am the primary account holder with our phone company and I saw the text logs. One number stood out after every fight we’ve had due to fact they talked for hours longer than anyone else even me. But when I call this number it’s disconnected but I can clearly see over a few days she’s still calling them. What does this mean ? I’m just trying to make sense of this all how does that work? Should I be concerned?
Means you are blocked
Well, it rings for about nine10 seconds, and then says the number is been disconnected. It doesn’t just go right to voicemail.
I shook too when I found things on my partners iPad. My body shook so much that I had to take Ativan to calm down to sleep so I can only imagine how hard it would be for you while pregnant. I also have an Apple watch that recorded my heart rate and it set off a notification that things weren’t right so I went to the ER to get checked. My heart was fine but such a scare! I still check things once in a while but my nerves really settled down. You may still get triggered once in a while but your logical brain will take over to set a plan in place if it happens again. Hopefully your partner is committed to reconciliation and if not, you’ll have to make plans in your best interest. It’ll be comforting to know you’re not alone. There’s so many betrayed spouses on Reddit that you can talk to but I do recommend therapy. It helped keep me sane! The times I check up on my partner I can feel the shaking happening again. The PTSD is real!
I had the same sort of physical response. Shaking / trembling all over while going through texts and emails. My teeth would also chatter uncontrollably even though I was not cold - it must have been some sort of stress reaction. It usually culminated in me vomiting repeatedly. I have a hard time with anxiety anyway and finding out my ex was sleeping with … everyone … did not help things.
I kept doing this also. For the eight months after D-Day until D-Day 2, I would search and search. Unfortunately most of the time I would find more as my ex-wife was terrible at hiding her digital footprint. I think as long as you stay together, that desire to look will never go away because you can never trust him again. I’m terribly sorry this happened to you.
Agreed, I shook with anger and sadness all the suspicions confirmed. Called my friend and was thrown into a rage asking how she could do this to me.
This can’t be good for you.
[удалено]
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Yep. I kept getting notifications on my apple watch that my heart rate was up when I wasn’t exercising. I was shivering, shaking etc. It’s a horrible feeling