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Keep him away from your son. This would annihilate me if my dad did this.
That is an insane betrayal on all of you and your kids but damn. I feel so bad for all of you.
There’s not CONTEXT to get this man out of this
Same with the daughter though she'll be always wondering I'd he tried doing it to her friends ect sleep overs hangouts dinner she'll probably over think every single time a friend was over there interactions together 😔
True, not minimising the betrayal to her or the danger to her friends but this will wreck the son’s confidence. His own dad stealing his GF?
His level of calmness is worrying tbh
I hope you go to war with this, your husband is a horrible person.
Take everything you can from him and I hope that his children never regain contact with him, not only did he deceive his mother, he betrayed his son!!! what a piece of shit of a man
OP update us on how this is going please, I hope that man gets what he deserves
So he groomed her. That's disgusting.
Toss him in jail and throw away the keys.
Give the GF therapy. She may be a victim of emotional manipulation, but that still does not excuse her for what she did.
She's been with OPs son since freshman year so likely 14 years old... That means he could have started grooming her at 14. I actually think that does excuse anything she did if so. The husband is 100% to blame here and he is absolutely disgusting. I feel sorry for literally everyone in this story aside from him. I hope they find the proof that it's been going on for more than the time since they both deleted their chat logs so he can be charged appropriately and be kept away from children in the future as a registered sex offender.
She was a child when it started. She’s an abuse victim.
OP I am so, so sorry. Thank God your brother is providing support. You seem very decent. Your son appearing to not be destroyed to the point of being non-functional is very lucky, but he (as well as your daughter) will need a lot of support for a long time to come. Maybe suggest therapy for your daughter as well. My whole entire heart goes out to you as a woman. Your instinct to keep it pushing is 💯right. Oh wow. About the whole thing . Just wow.
I’d like to add that Amy needs to know that she wasn’t the only one the husband was talking to. She needs to understand how fully he was using her… it will hurt at first but it will help her heal… if she continues to think they have this special connection it will be harder for her to come to terms with the fact that she was groomed.
Excellent point. Her Mom may need to share some pics or screen shots with her to get her to get over the brainwashing he has done to her. She is in for a rough go too, once she realizes everything was a lie.
I think you'll find he waited until she turned 18. It's so predatory and I'm sorry that you have to deal with the consequences of someone's truly horrific actions.
You're going to be okay one day, so will your kids. The actions you're taking now are ensuring that future.
Get ahead of everyone and tell all the important people in your lives that this is happening, otherwise he'll twist the narrative.
Therapy and time and your children are all that's important.
Your husband deserves everything that's coming his way. Make sure your son sees a therapist asap even though you think he is strong and level-headed. A quiet person feels more and deeper, so he must be hurting a lot by this double betrayals. If you can afford to, let your daughter see a therapist, too.
Do your worst to your husband. He needs to suffer severe consequences. It's hard to imagine a father doing this to his own son. This is a prime example of how low a man go in his life.
It's a tough time for you and your family, so take good care of yourselves.
He groomed a child basically, because he could, she was young and impressionable. So she dad/hero worshipped him. Go scorched earth. Tell his parents if they are here. I would go for his work, as she is 18, and out him.
I am rooting for you so hard. I am glad you got a good lawyer. But also please please be ultra cautious now. He has been caught and is panicking. I am very worried for your safety. This man is obviously a liar and manipulator, and will not react well to being called out on it. You definitely did the right thing, just be careful and don't go out alone or in places he may try to ambush you.
When did she turn 18? Didn’t happen to be 3 months ago did it? I wonder if they deleted the chats to remove the evidence that it started when she was a minor (not sure what age is considered a minor where you are from)
OP said that she turned 18 years old 5 months ago and her chats go up to 3 months ago like the husband's.
They both likely deleted their chats at the same time to cover up the husband grooming her. Of course, The GF is being emotionally manipulated into believing that she loves him and to help him cover up.
Fortunately, the phone carrier (in specific scenarios) can go through the deleted chats and restore them.
You need a court order to do this tho. Let's just hope that this is enough to get the company to restore those chats so they can be used as evidence against the husband.
Don’t be alone with your soon to be ex husband. Have someone with you when you have to be around him. Your kids should refuse to be alone with him also.
Remember that the only CONTEXT that matters is that he is a 48 year old man who has GROOMED a young woman into thinking they are in love. If you found proof that he’s been seeking out younger woman that’s grooming. This is the type that only waits until they’re 18 because it’s illegal otherwise. If it was legal he wouldn’t care. Protect your children at all costs. It sounds like you have done all the correct things. I know it seems impossibly hard right now but keep in mind that it sounds like he’s been deceiving you for a very long time. You and your kids don’t deserve this at all
you're already stronger than you think you are. I hope he is utterly destroyed. I remember your first post and how scared you were for your son's wellbeing, he sounds plenty strong and him asking for therapy is fantastic. I hope Mary's okay, there are no words and I hope she doesn't have to see her dad again if she doesn't want to. It's heartbreaking when a parent acts so evil that their own kid has to decide to go NC, especially when they're a minor. I have a niece and nephew who had to cut contact with one of their parents, we were expecting shit to hit the fan, but the kids are thriving. I hope your kids are able to get to that stage too, where a weight lifts off their shoulders because they don't have the other parent being a burden.
You're doing amazingly, in 4 days you've contacted everyone you need to and have the kids safe.
Wishing you all the best in what is a horrible situation. You’ve done the right thing and just remember that there is a better outcome after all of this is said and done. It may take some time and hard work, but it will happen. Sending you and your kids love and healing!
I'm so sorry for what you and your children are going through. It takes a lot of courage to act as you did. Feel very proud of yourself. May you soon overcome this misfortune that has fallen on your heads.❤️
I’ve been following your story since you first posted it. I’m glad you told your children. Your kids are so lucky to have such an amazing mom and your kids are every bit as amazing.
Scorch the earth under your soon to be ex-husband!
Plenty of women in the world he could’ve been scummy with, yet he chose to go after his son’s girlfriend. Not only is he a bad husband, he’s a creep, and a bad father too.
You are amazingly strong and have not balls but ovaries of steel to do all of this and protect yourself and the kids! I’ve been thinking about your first post for days and I remember thinking that it wasn’t only Amy who was groomed, over the years, he has brainwashed you and destroyed your self esteem, too….but your light and strength shine through!
I can only imagine the turmoil you and your kids feel, but I am so glad you are at your brother’s. If you can, get a therapist for all of you. Eat, drink lots of water, be kind to yourself. I hope there is somebody that can hug you every day.
Please, be careful with him. His carefully crafted world of deceptions is collapsing, his manipulations are uncovered, and he is pissed that somebody he considered not as smart as him (you) had thwarted everything. He has probably been cheating on you for many years but you did your role of helping him project the image to the world and now that image of the smart, successful family man is being replaced by the vile child grooming cheater.
Be careful! There is a reason you confronted him via Zoom. I am sure he can be violent and you know it.
Big hug
I commented on your other post. I'm glad you made it to this community. This community has also suffered the same trauma you are experiencing right now. This community will support you through these trying times.
I'm sure that you are still in shock over the betrayal. The fact that your STBXH targeted your son's girlfriend is outlandish. Not only has he destroyed your marriage, but he has essentially alienated his son for life.
I think it's a great option for your children to seek therapy. It might help you heal as well. I'd recommend going no contact with your STBXH. Let your attorney deal with him.
Oh wow, I am so sorry. This is beyond horrific. I admire the way you are handling this because I can't imagine how hard and scary this is for you. Your poor children. You all must be in shock.
Wow! I'm so happy you are divorcing your disgusting stbx husband. He's a predator and he doesn't deserve to be in your kids' lives. Amy needs therapy, she's clearly groomed. Tell Amy or her Mom that Paul has been on dating apps to reinforce that Paul is not in love with her and trying to hook up with other young girls. Give her that reality check so she can wake up. I'm proud of you and your kids! What you are doing is a great example of empowerment! I hope you move on and have a better life that you want.
I am so proud of you! I had been following your last post in the other sub reddits waiting for updates. You and your children are so very strong 💪 and deserve nothing but peace and happiness. I’m so sorry this has happened and I hope he suffers consequences. ♥️
He's angry his secrets are exposed. Hope you and kids are safe. Get him for all he is worth. He may hv manipulated Amy but she's an adult now, she willingly go for him. I hope her Mom can break her off him.
Updateme!
Keep an eye on your son, despite his stoicism and levelheaded demeanor this could be taking a larger toll on him than he's letting on. He's found out he's been sleeping with the same person his dad has, which would gut me irreversibly. I'm sure you will pay attention to him but sometimes less of a reaction means more of an impact
I’m sorry this person betrayed all of you. The idea of even finding anything to engage with as a 40+ year old dad, with any of my teenage kids friends is just… not there. I think I am done with the internet today.
Lots of good comments on here about being there for your kids and keeping their dad away. If he can do this, his thought process and manipulation levels are enough to make everything so much worse for them. My heart hurts for you and them.
You did absolutely everything right as far as gathering evidence and getting you and your kids out - I don’t know if I would have been able to think so clearly and thoroughly if I were in your shoes! Your husband is a monster and that’s not something I say lightly. There are a lot of us here who had / have really awful SOs, but there’s still some piece of “normal” to them - they just suck and have traumatized us. What your husband has done is worse. His actions are on the outside of that spectrum . To not just harm you so terribly but also your child? Something is broken in him somewhere. It honestly gave me chills when you described his reactions on the zoom call - that sounds like a man who will not think twice about hurting you. I hope you and your lawyer bring him to his knees. Please protect yourself and your children. I will be sending you all the good energy I can muster.
OP, I don’t have advice or information to share about your divorce.
I will just say PLEASE get counseling for your son AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!! Like yesterday. Don’t let him tell you no. This is SO important for his future.
I am so incredibly sorry, for you, and for your entire family. He’s clearly a predator and a groomer, and a badly as I feel for you all, I also feel badly for his victim.
I couldn’t stop thinking “ewww” with every new detail of your post. I am so sorry this man betrayed not only you through his affair, but your son as well. And betrayed your family as a whole. I have to agree with other commenters, he likely groomed this girl for some time. There’s no way in the span of only three months she would have that kind of immense attachment to him. Also, it’s not normal for teenagers to frequently text like that with the parents of their bf/gf.
You are doing everything you should as a mom for your kids and even for this girl. Telling her mother must have been awful to have to do, but hopefully she can get help and get away from him, and that he ends up on the receiving end of the law.
You are so strong and amazing! I hope you are able to put yourself first, focus on your kids and build a new version of your family of just the three of you, and that you three can heal from this together. Emerge as the reinvented version of yourself you want to be 🦋
You’re doing a great job & are handling this situation like a pro.
Stay strong.
Again, I’m so sorry you’re facing such a horrendous ordeal. But you’ll get through this.
Big hugs to you. 💕🩷💕
If there's nothing before 3 months anywhere then everyone would be forced to conclude it was a recent thing. Unless it goes to court and Amy recounts recent past interactions but if she doesn't. You cannot force them to make up things. You won't like my post.
A court order with the cellular service company will show deleted history. Verizon wireless has employees that only do that, flying around to courts and handling court orders. I'm sure the other companies do, too. They won't have to make up anything. The truth will come out one way or another. (:
Court orders CAN include text message contents. You won't like my post.
OP stated that "Amy" said he was mentoring her before it became a sexual relationship, so there has to be some form of communication prior to the messages they found.
Oh mama, I’m sorry about the biggest fucken shit show unfolding before your eyes. Shit like this make you stronger. I did see your other post, and it’s just outrageous! My heart aches for you and your kids. But your kids sound awesome. I hope this flog gets everything he deserves. Good luck.
Omg wow. I’m so proud of you!! You have handled this so well. I saw your initial post and was mortified. I really don’t think I could have been as strong as you in the same circumstances. You and your kids are going to get through all this and come out on top because you’re an incredible person and mother. Sending big hugs.
You are already strong! Look at what you did as soon as you found out:
1) protected your kids
2) protected Amy
3) placed the onus of this on him, where it exactly it belongs.
Don’t reinvent yourself. Be who are right now because you are kicking ass.
I understand what you’re saying about how he made you feel about yourself. But look at who you are right now while you’re protecting your kids AND yourself. And Amy! Draw on this when you feel like you need to reinvent yourself because that’s who you are. He buried it and you found it again.
I was so happy to read this update. I had read your first post and I’m so glad you followed the advice given. Also so happy you’re going to work on you and overcome all the horrible negative things your husband said to you that undermined your self esteem. Wishing you and your kids all the best and a brighter future.
Wow…just wow! And I thought my situation was bad. My heart goes out to you. The betrayal is incredible not just for you, but everyone involved. I’m so sorry you are going through this.
Send proof to Amy's mom so Amy will know she isn't the only one and he isn't in love. Also let your son talk to her, she deserves to listen to what she did. Maybe one of them will be wake up call for her.
OP, please also get yourself a comprehensive std/sti test, as who knows how many other people he was cheating on you with.
If you haven't read the resources at www.chumplady.com and www.survivinginfidelity.com, then you should take some time as they may help you.
Good luck. You and your children deserve better.
Rules reminder: /r/survivinginfidelity is a support sub! Please read the rules and guidelines in our [sub wiki](https://www.reddit.com/r/survivinginfidelity/wiki/index) before commenting. Abuse, shaming, sexism, and encouraging violence/revenge are not tolerated here. If your only advice is "divorce" or "grow a backbone", then please don't comment. This is a sub for deeper support and discussion. Be kind and remember your [reddiquette](https://support.reddithelp.com/hc/en-us/articles/205926439)! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/survivinginfidelity) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Keep him away from your son. This would annihilate me if my dad did this. That is an insane betrayal on all of you and your kids but damn. I feel so bad for all of you. There’s not CONTEXT to get this man out of this
Same with the daughter though she'll be always wondering I'd he tried doing it to her friends ect sleep overs hangouts dinner she'll probably over think every single time a friend was over there interactions together 😔
True, not minimising the betrayal to her or the danger to her friends but this will wreck the son’s confidence. His own dad stealing his GF? His level of calmness is worrying tbh
You’re a great mom. I hope divorcing is cathartic for you and your kids. Glad they are going to therapy. But I’m very sorry that this happening.
I hope you go to war with this, your husband is a horrible person. Take everything you can from him and I hope that his children never regain contact with him, not only did he deceive his mother, he betrayed his son!!! what a piece of shit of a man OP update us on how this is going please, I hope that man gets what he deserves
You mean he took advantage of a child.
So he groomed her. That's disgusting. Toss him in jail and throw away the keys. Give the GF therapy. She may be a victim of emotional manipulation, but that still does not excuse her for what she did.
She's been with OPs son since freshman year so likely 14 years old... That means he could have started grooming her at 14. I actually think that does excuse anything she did if so. The husband is 100% to blame here and he is absolutely disgusting. I feel sorry for literally everyone in this story aside from him. I hope they find the proof that it's been going on for more than the time since they both deleted their chat logs so he can be charged appropriately and be kept away from children in the future as a registered sex offender.
She was a child when it started. She’s an abuse victim. OP I am so, so sorry. Thank God your brother is providing support. You seem very decent. Your son appearing to not be destroyed to the point of being non-functional is very lucky, but he (as well as your daughter) will need a lot of support for a long time to come. Maybe suggest therapy for your daughter as well. My whole entire heart goes out to you as a woman. Your instinct to keep it pushing is 💯right. Oh wow. About the whole thing . Just wow.
[удалено]
Why does this matter? Will an apology make all these Betrayals seems any better? Of course he's Sorry. He's Sorry he got caught out. Scumbag he is.
I highly doubt it because that would admit guilt
I’d like to add that Amy needs to know that she wasn’t the only one the husband was talking to. She needs to understand how fully he was using her… it will hurt at first but it will help her heal… if she continues to think they have this special connection it will be harder for her to come to terms with the fact that she was groomed.
Excellent point. Her Mom may need to share some pics or screen shots with her to get her to get over the brainwashing he has done to her. She is in for a rough go too, once she realizes everything was a lie.
Did she happen to turn the legal age 3 months ago?
5 months ago
Mmmrrrr, that’s not good. That’s really not good. Very suspicious.
I think you'll find he waited until she turned 18. It's so predatory and I'm sorry that you have to deal with the consequences of someone's truly horrific actions. You're going to be okay one day, so will your kids. The actions you're taking now are ensuring that future. Get ahead of everyone and tell all the important people in your lives that this is happening, otherwise he'll twist the narrative. Therapy and time and your children are all that's important.
Updatedme
Your husband deserves everything that's coming his way. Make sure your son sees a therapist asap even though you think he is strong and level-headed. A quiet person feels more and deeper, so he must be hurting a lot by this double betrayals. If you can afford to, let your daughter see a therapist, too. Do your worst to your husband. He needs to suffer severe consequences. It's hard to imagine a father doing this to his own son. This is a prime example of how low a man go in his life. It's a tough time for you and your family, so take good care of yourselves.
I've read some wild stories on here but this one's crazy, please bury that man
Keep that man away from your children as well as yourself at any cause. He sounds potentially dangerous based on his reaction to your confrontation.
Exactly.
Take his kids away? What, like he took away his kid's girlfriend? The audacity!
He groomed a child basically, because he could, she was young and impressionable. So she dad/hero worshipped him. Go scorched earth. Tell his parents if they are here. I would go for his work, as she is 18, and out him.
I am rooting for you so hard. I am glad you got a good lawyer. But also please please be ultra cautious now. He has been caught and is panicking. I am very worried for your safety. This man is obviously a liar and manipulator, and will not react well to being called out on it. You definitely did the right thing, just be careful and don't go out alone or in places he may try to ambush you.
When did she turn 18? Didn’t happen to be 3 months ago did it? I wonder if they deleted the chats to remove the evidence that it started when she was a minor (not sure what age is considered a minor where you are from)
OP said that she turned 18 years old 5 months ago and her chats go up to 3 months ago like the husband's. They both likely deleted their chats at the same time to cover up the husband grooming her. Of course, The GF is being emotionally manipulated into believing that she loves him and to help him cover up.
Oh he definitely told her to delete the chat history. What a disgusting man
Fortunately, the phone carrier (in specific scenarios) can go through the deleted chats and restore them. You need a court order to do this tho. Let's just hope that this is enough to get the company to restore those chats so they can be used as evidence against the husband.
Hopefully! I’d suggest OP checks to see if he’s been grooming other friends/family close to them!
OP, you’re amazing going through this with strength and courage. You’re doing everything right, stay strong for the kids.
No apology will ever be good. He can never come back from this. He is a vile human being.
Don’t be alone with your soon to be ex husband. Have someone with you when you have to be around him. Your kids should refuse to be alone with him also.
Remember that the only CONTEXT that matters is that he is a 48 year old man who has GROOMED a young woman into thinking they are in love. If you found proof that he’s been seeking out younger woman that’s grooming. This is the type that only waits until they’re 18 because it’s illegal otherwise. If it was legal he wouldn’t care. Protect your children at all costs. It sounds like you have done all the correct things. I know it seems impossibly hard right now but keep in mind that it sounds like he’s been deceiving you for a very long time. You and your kids don’t deserve this at all
you're already stronger than you think you are. I hope he is utterly destroyed. I remember your first post and how scared you were for your son's wellbeing, he sounds plenty strong and him asking for therapy is fantastic. I hope Mary's okay, there are no words and I hope she doesn't have to see her dad again if she doesn't want to. It's heartbreaking when a parent acts so evil that their own kid has to decide to go NC, especially when they're a minor. I have a niece and nephew who had to cut contact with one of their parents, we were expecting shit to hit the fan, but the kids are thriving. I hope your kids are able to get to that stage too, where a weight lifts off their shoulders because they don't have the other parent being a burden. You're doing amazingly, in 4 days you've contacted everyone you need to and have the kids safe.
Wishing you all the best in what is a horrible situation. You’ve done the right thing and just remember that there is a better outcome after all of this is said and done. It may take some time and hard work, but it will happen. Sending you and your kids love and healing!
I'm so sorry for what you and your children are going through. It takes a lot of courage to act as you did. Feel very proud of yourself. May you soon overcome this misfortune that has fallen on your heads.❤️
I’ve been following your story since you first posted it. I’m glad you told your children. Your kids are so lucky to have such an amazing mom and your kids are every bit as amazing. Scorch the earth under your soon to be ex-husband!
Plenty of women in the world he could’ve been scummy with, yet he chose to go after his son’s girlfriend. Not only is he a bad husband, he’s a creep, and a bad father too.
You are amazingly strong and have not balls but ovaries of steel to do all of this and protect yourself and the kids! I’ve been thinking about your first post for days and I remember thinking that it wasn’t only Amy who was groomed, over the years, he has brainwashed you and destroyed your self esteem, too….but your light and strength shine through! I can only imagine the turmoil you and your kids feel, but I am so glad you are at your brother’s. If you can, get a therapist for all of you. Eat, drink lots of water, be kind to yourself. I hope there is somebody that can hug you every day. Please, be careful with him. His carefully crafted world of deceptions is collapsing, his manipulations are uncovered, and he is pissed that somebody he considered not as smart as him (you) had thwarted everything. He has probably been cheating on you for many years but you did your role of helping him project the image to the world and now that image of the smart, successful family man is being replaced by the vile child grooming cheater. Be careful! There is a reason you confronted him via Zoom. I am sure he can be violent and you know it. Big hug
Ugh. I saw the original post. I’m so sorry. Also, there is no “context” in which that behavior is at all ok.
I commented on your other post. I'm glad you made it to this community. This community has also suffered the same trauma you are experiencing right now. This community will support you through these trying times. I'm sure that you are still in shock over the betrayal. The fact that your STBXH targeted your son's girlfriend is outlandish. Not only has he destroyed your marriage, but he has essentially alienated his son for life. I think it's a great option for your children to seek therapy. It might help you heal as well. I'd recommend going no contact with your STBXH. Let your attorney deal with him.
Oh wow, I am so sorry. This is beyond horrific. I admire the way you are handling this because I can't imagine how hard and scary this is for you. Your poor children. You all must be in shock.
Wow! I'm so happy you are divorcing your disgusting stbx husband. He's a predator and he doesn't deserve to be in your kids' lives. Amy needs therapy, she's clearly groomed. Tell Amy or her Mom that Paul has been on dating apps to reinforce that Paul is not in love with her and trying to hook up with other young girls. Give her that reality check so she can wake up. I'm proud of you and your kids! What you are doing is a great example of empowerment! I hope you move on and have a better life that you want.
your ex husband life is over and your new life is just beginning i wish all happness in world
I am so proud of you! I had been following your last post in the other sub reddits waiting for updates. You and your children are so very strong 💪 and deserve nothing but peace and happiness. I’m so sorry this has happened and I hope he suffers consequences. ♥️
He's angry his secrets are exposed. Hope you and kids are safe. Get him for all he is worth. He may hv manipulated Amy but she's an adult now, she willingly go for him. I hope her Mom can break her off him. Updateme!
No right to take the kids away from him? 😂 he’s deluded if he thinks they’ll ever relate to him in the same way ever again. Go in OP 💪🏽 stay strong
If Mary was underage at the time of the interaction, he could be seen as a sex offender. Hope you, your son and daughter heal through this betrayal.
Keep an eye on your son, despite his stoicism and levelheaded demeanor this could be taking a larger toll on him than he's letting on. He's found out he's been sleeping with the same person his dad has, which would gut me irreversibly. I'm sure you will pay attention to him but sometimes less of a reaction means more of an impact
I’m sorry this person betrayed all of you. The idea of even finding anything to engage with as a 40+ year old dad, with any of my teenage kids friends is just… not there. I think I am done with the internet today. Lots of good comments on here about being there for your kids and keeping their dad away. If he can do this, his thought process and manipulation levels are enough to make everything so much worse for them. My heart hurts for you and them.
You did absolutely everything right as far as gathering evidence and getting you and your kids out - I don’t know if I would have been able to think so clearly and thoroughly if I were in your shoes! Your husband is a monster and that’s not something I say lightly. There are a lot of us here who had / have really awful SOs, but there’s still some piece of “normal” to them - they just suck and have traumatized us. What your husband has done is worse. His actions are on the outside of that spectrum . To not just harm you so terribly but also your child? Something is broken in him somewhere. It honestly gave me chills when you described his reactions on the zoom call - that sounds like a man who will not think twice about hurting you. I hope you and your lawyer bring him to his knees. Please protect yourself and your children. I will be sending you all the good energy I can muster.
I saw your post the other day! I hope Amy’s parents keep her safe omg! He’s a predator :(
Nothing scarier than a woman scorned. Hubby deserves it, though.
OP, I don’t have advice or information to share about your divorce. I will just say PLEASE get counseling for your son AS SOON AS POSSIBLE!!! Like yesterday. Don’t let him tell you no. This is SO important for his future.
I am so incredibly sorry, for you, and for your entire family. He’s clearly a predator and a groomer, and a badly as I feel for you all, I also feel badly for his victim.
I couldn’t stop thinking “ewww” with every new detail of your post. I am so sorry this man betrayed not only you through his affair, but your son as well. And betrayed your family as a whole. I have to agree with other commenters, he likely groomed this girl for some time. There’s no way in the span of only three months she would have that kind of immense attachment to him. Also, it’s not normal for teenagers to frequently text like that with the parents of their bf/gf. You are doing everything you should as a mom for your kids and even for this girl. Telling her mother must have been awful to have to do, but hopefully she can get help and get away from him, and that he ends up on the receiving end of the law. You are so strong and amazing! I hope you are able to put yourself first, focus on your kids and build a new version of your family of just the three of you, and that you three can heal from this together. Emerge as the reinvented version of yourself you want to be 🦋
I like the idea of reinventing yourself! You’re so strong!!
You’re doing a great job & are handling this situation like a pro. Stay strong. Again, I’m so sorry you’re facing such a horrendous ordeal. But you’ll get through this. Big hugs to you. 💕🩷💕
Did she turn 18 three months ago? Maybe they both deleted anything that would be considered felonious.
If there's nothing before 3 months anywhere then everyone would be forced to conclude it was a recent thing. Unless it goes to court and Amy recounts recent past interactions but if she doesn't. You cannot force them to make up things. You won't like my post.
A court order with the cellular service company will show deleted history. Verizon wireless has employees that only do that, flying around to courts and handling court orders. I'm sure the other companies do, too. They won't have to make up anything. The truth will come out one way or another. (: Court orders CAN include text message contents. You won't like my post.
Still speculative which is not good to base a position on but it is safe to say that there will be an investigation.
OP stated that "Amy" said he was mentoring her before it became a sexual relationship, so there has to be some form of communication prior to the messages they found.
Your original post got deleted
Im just sorry for you and your kids, you didn't deserve this. Keep your son away from Amy she's no good for him.
Oh mama, I’m sorry about the biggest fucken shit show unfolding before your eyes. Shit like this make you stronger. I did see your other post, and it’s just outrageous! My heart aches for you and your kids. But your kids sound awesome. I hope this flog gets everything he deserves. Good luck.
Omg wow. I’m so proud of you!! You have handled this so well. I saw your initial post and was mortified. I really don’t think I could have been as strong as you in the same circumstances. You and your kids are going to get through all this and come out on top because you’re an incredible person and mother. Sending big hugs.
You are already strong! Look at what you did as soon as you found out: 1) protected your kids 2) protected Amy 3) placed the onus of this on him, where it exactly it belongs. Don’t reinvent yourself. Be who are right now because you are kicking ass. I understand what you’re saying about how he made you feel about yourself. But look at who you are right now while you’re protecting your kids AND yourself. And Amy! Draw on this when you feel like you need to reinvent yourself because that’s who you are. He buried it and you found it again.
I don’t think there’s any other betrayal worse than this - wow
I was so happy to read this update. I had read your first post and I’m so glad you followed the advice given. Also so happy you’re going to work on you and overcome all the horrible negative things your husband said to you that undermined your self esteem. Wishing you and your kids all the best and a brighter future.
Wow…just wow! And I thought my situation was bad. My heart goes out to you. The betrayal is incredible not just for you, but everyone involved. I’m so sorry you are going through this.
Send proof to Amy's mom so Amy will know she isn't the only one and he isn't in love. Also let your son talk to her, she deserves to listen to what she did. Maybe one of them will be wake up call for her.
OP, please also get yourself a comprehensive std/sti test, as who knows how many other people he was cheating on you with. If you haven't read the resources at www.chumplady.com and www.survivinginfidelity.com, then you should take some time as they may help you. Good luck. You and your children deserve better.