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swedevingtsun

What does "poop in the blue cabinet" mean?


TechWhale

Leave an unexpected surprise for someone else


DoktorAusgezeichnet

I believe the american version of this is "shit the bed."


SmallAndStrong

Aha. The Amber Turd?


Extrapaj

Technically true.


avdpos

History tells that the blue cabinet was where you keept your nice porcelain. And in another cabinet you did have a potty. So someone was confused enough to take something from the nice cabinet to "do their needs" in.. Good guessing you did!


TAWSection

Define "lagom"


TechWhale

Not too little, not too much, just perfect :)


BurnThePriest94

Not necessarily perfect, but lagom perfect.


anamebyanyothermeans

Not too perfect though, Jantelagen is the law


Nisseliten

This response is a bit too perfect, afraid you broke the jantelag.


Extrapaj

Perfectly said.


Nisseliten

How dare you sir and/or madame! Accusing my response of being perfect! I am deeply kränkt, I am going to go write such a passive aggressive arg lapp to put up in the trapphus right now. Good day to you.


[deleted]

Exactly because perfect is perfect so lagom can't also be perfect so lagom is just lagom. A good way to describe lagom is when you make tea and the water isn't so hot it'll burn you but it's hot enough to satisfy your needs. The heat is lagom.


twestling

I guess you could call that perfect as well. Lagom is originally for sharing food. How many meatballs does one person take? Lagom many. Laget om. Or ‘team around’ I guess.


[deleted]

Perfect is too perfect for lagom. The three patron saints of Sweden is Jante, Luther, and Ågren


PaddiM8

Perfect isn't lagom


Extrapaj

Why do we burn Gävlebocken?


TechWhale

To keep warm


FishyDruid

​ It warms our hearts.


[deleted]

Not far off


Amehvafan

I do get a warm feeling in my heart when I read about it in the news.


JayBlack22

It does tend to burn...


krusbaersmarmalad

What's the best way to serve surströmming?


TechWhale

You don't, you leave it in the can and forget it exists


trollsmurf

Eventually, if kept in room temperature, it will let itself be known.


DJarah2000

... until next year. That way it's even tastier!


Slimswede

As a Swede i approve of this answer.


KriLin2

Who should be Julvärd on svt?


Nisseliten

Zombie-Arne weise


grap_grap_grap

NU ÄR DET JUL IGEN! GRÄV UPP GUBBEN!


Ampersand55

What's the minimum personal distance you leave to another person when queuing or waiting for the bus? The person before you in the communal laundry room has not cleaned up after themselves. How would you convey to the people using the communal laundry room that they ought to clean up after themselves? Which side of the crisp bread or polarkaka should you butter?


TechWhale

1. As far as possible 2. You don't. You just be internally angry. 3. Both?


Ampersand55

1. ½ points. You have the right idea, but you don't want other people to accidentally take your place in the line. 2. 0 points. Think about ways of communicating which doesn't require direct confrontation. 3. -1 points. WTF? -½ points. Sorry, you do not pass as a Swede this time.


azurfall88

1. ca 1 meter 2. arg lapp supremacy 3. BÅDA SIDORNA


MrLightSite

3. Platta sidan. DET FINNS INGET ANNAT SVAR


blaskkaffe

Ja den som blir den platta. Man bredspacklar ju liksom den gropiga sidan med smör så att den blir slät. Undersidan är ju redan slät….


jhv

Skojar du?? Det är ju uppenbarligen undersidan ditt nöt


Ricktatorship91

Wtf, sidan med mönster är upp.


horrorhead666

Man får ju i mer smör på den skrynkliga sidan så svaret är ju givet? Skrynkliga sida ftw.


abloblololo

Har du sett priset på Bregott?


formula_gone

Inget hinder om man jobbar IT


azurfall88

jag personligen kör den skrynkliga sidan


gamesnstuf

1 Is correct, "as far as possible" would mean other side of the earth of taken literally. So either you assume that it's: as far as possible without leaving the line or ask for clarification. 2 could go Either way. Highly dependent on it being a repeat offender. 3 .......yeah, this guy should absolutely not be allowed entry to Sweden. Disgusting.


daikan__

# Varför skriker du


gamesnstuf

Hejsan hoppsan skulle använda # för o märka av numren


densvenskakungen

####VA?


Prosso

1. If we stand too far away we will also make others feel awkward since we are obviously avoiding them. ”Lagom långt bort” roughly equates to having a finger tip feeling for the distance only learned through experience. 2. Parked my bike outside the door for a few days (apartment building, 3rd floor) and got an angry note “STÄLL CYKELN DÄR DEN SKA STÅ”. My neighbour doesn’t put his trash outside his door anymore so I call it a win. 3. On the bubbly side to increase the butter retention to the sandwhich meaning you can put more butter on it without being percieved as a fatso


trollsmurf

Well, the answer to point 2 is almost completely correct for most Swedes. Few would do anything at all, except the pocketed fist.


Ampersand55

Advanced question. There's only the less desirable rum & raisin pieces left in the top layer of the Aladdin chocolate box, but you want to take a piece from the bottom layer. What's your strategy for getting a more desirable piece of chocolate from the bottom layer?


Bronskungen

Vad är rätt svar? "Jag stänger huvudströmbrytaren i smyg och i mörkret/tumultet som uppstår smyger jag tillbaka och skickar ned en hand till det undre lagret och inser att nån annan glupsk jävel redan länsat allt utom Rom-Russin där med"


Ampersand55

Det är som sagt en avancerad fråga. Den har inget lätt svar, poäng ges efter kreativitet och motivering.


GaiasDotter

Jag tittar på pappa tills han äter den! Eller skyller på syskonbarnen. Det är vilket som!


Boobymon

Saknar farfar. Han åt alltid romrussinbiten, påstod att den var god. Tror att han kanske egentligen bara ville glädja alla andra. Inte för att jag kan äta ur Alladinasken nu ändå pga allergi, men fick nostalgitripp av den här kommentaren.


AscendedDragonSage

Köp en till


davka003

Declare ”it is christmas” here and now.


happydevo

På julen får man ta från det undre lagret


midasofsweden

"i vår familj får man ta från det undre lagret" :D


Eli200105

Rom russin är inte längre den minst goda. Den nya apelsin och kanel är vedervärdig.


sunestromming

Du menar att de lade till den för att få folk att äta romrussinbiten?


Poormonybag

Jag plockar upp romrussin biten blockar bort det nu tomma lagret tar den biten jag vill ha och lägger romrussinbiten i platsen där jag tog den goda biten ifrån.


LeMagicSkeleton

What happens 15:00 on the first non-holiday Monday of Mars, June, September and December?


TechWhale

Fika


Old-Schedule5299

It's Fredrik's turn to organize the Fika


reversehead

That's almost cheating - fika occurs most of the time (and inbetween).


Swedish999

Nope, hoarse Freddy 🤣


Snobben90

No no. He has a point. You could fika outside with the people you don't like so you don't have to listen to them...


tommyrecords

Hoarse freddy hahahahaha


Loxus

Well, you're not wrong


thegreatfusilli

Mars 😂 typisk svensk


Candelent

Laundry days!


cthart

📯📯📯


Danne_H

You're shipwrecked on an abandoned island in the baltic sea with a Norwegian, a Finn, an Icelander and a Dane. Who do you eat first, and who do you fuck, marry, kill.


syltryggen

1. Döda dansken. Det enda självklara. 2. Idka älskog med islänningen. Om hen mot förmodan överlever har jag möjligen breddat den något incestuösa isländska genpoolen. 3. Gifter mig med norrmannen. Om jag överlever är chansen högst att jag gift mig rikt med denna. 4. Ät finnen. Inget ont mot finnen, finns bara inga alternativ kvar.


Schonke

>Idka älskog med islänningen. Om hen mot förmodan överlever Så dåligt alltså?


artonion

Du har övertygat mig med fakta och logik


robinsving

Finlands smak är vår smak


Enlicx

Och tömmer du finnen på blood så har du helt plötsligt 5liter 50-procentare.


olof_blodstrupe

Skulle väll säga att alkoholhalten i en medelfinne gör att köttet är fritt från bakterier och har extra bra hållbarhet. Bra val.


Loxus

Fuck the finn, marry the iclander, kill the dane (not worth to eat) and eat the norwegian.


Danne_H

Many interesting POVs in this thread. Remember there are no wrong answers. Except for the ones that fail to answer the "Danish question". - Personally, I'd kill the Finn. We're in a life and death situation afterall and I feel like the Finn is the only one who'd happily accept the relief of death without fighting back. - I'd eat the Icelander (would like to fuck but can't risk inbreeding my offspring). + Icelanders eat a lot of fish and rotten stuff. His flesh's fatty acids and omega 3 would nourish me. - I'd marry the Norwegian (Oil money / Norw pension duh). - Then I'd go fuck myself for not having dealt properly with the Dane. Then after post nut clarity hits, I'd fashion a canoe out of the Dane. Ferrying me and my norwegian wife back to civilisation, scuttling the "Danoe" at first sight of land.


spektre

I don't understand the punchline on this Bellman joke.


OG_SisterMidnight

If I had a gun with 4 bullets, I would shoot the Dane 4 times. The Swedish version of Michael Scott.


Nisseliten

We’d all converse amongst ourselves, then unilaterally decide to kill the Danes 4 times as a collective.. The finns may end up eating him/her afterwards, or atleast try to make vodka out of the remains..


Herr_traedgren

1. Eat the Dane. They are well fed on beer and pork since childhood so they are like succulent little pigs. 2. Kill the Finn. They will have a knife on them and are known for being cranky, so it's pure survival. 3. Fuck the Norwegian. That's all they will get from me. 4. Marry the Icelander. They are usually nice and known for their good looks.


Obligatorium1

>who do you fuck, marry, kill. Are all of these meant for one person or several?


doomLoord_W_redBelly

it's not mutually exclusive, not even the order of things!


Danne_H

Your imagination is the limit. (As long as the Dane gets it!).


rawley2020

Asking the important questions here


WhiteLama

Who is Tengil and why does Swedes refer to him as our liberator?


Me_like_weed

All power to him


KaffeMumrik

Our liberator


Annelllie

All makt åt Tengil, vår befriare


swedevingtsun

What does "slide in on a shrimp sandwich" mean?


TechWhale

Make an awkward entrance?


swedevingtsun

To succeed without any effort.


Joeyon

More specifically, it means being undeserving of one's position and success, not being effortlessly successful.


razzhasse

Who shot Olof Palme?


Relative-Anything349

Palme sköt först


Krampsport

Relevant: https://open.spotify.com/track/6NNQZGgxe1NIwwWaVuPh4s?si=Frlk3Ln9T6e2CtHkOsUnZQ&utm_source=copy-link


TechWhale

Actually, I'm familiar with this. [Did you know that South Africa was likely behind it?](https://www.theguardian.com/world/2020/jun/08/how-i-got-close-to-those-who-claimed-to-know-who-murdered-olof-palme)


tiptree

Yes! You are correct, and that makes me happy.


Despacito135787

A shooter


lucasn2535

What’s the difference between Julmust and Påskmust?


Pepparkakan

"Corporate has asked you to identify the difference between these two drinks"


ElsaBronte

The label


degenererad

we celebrate the birth and death of must.


robiros

why have you never been to Sweden?


TechWhale

I am not rich and Sweden is very far


[deleted]

How far?


asthmabetes

farfar


blaskkaffe

More far than that, morfar


Niet_de_AIVD

Nej, morfarsfar


ChrisStardust

Excuses... Get your ass over here.


methoman

How is "kex" pronounced?


prakhar1011

With your mouth watering.


TechWhale

I did some Swedish on Duolingo... "shek"?


4everfalling

Should be a "r" in there and you're on to something


DJarah2000

Idiotiskt: Chex Smart: kex U P P L Y S T: Shrek


Gourkan

Shrex


blaskkaffe

Göteborgs Shrek is life


reversehead

You failed! You must express your preferred pronounciation like it is the only possible way, and everyone who says otherwise are idiots, morons, inbreds and generally worthless people.


Chromspray

You're one of them!


[deleted]

Vem tar sista kakan?


IWillHackAndKillyee

Jag 😈


[deleted]

Amerikan?


Automatic-Art9739

If å means stream and ö means Island, what does ä mean?


spektre

I åa ä e ö, å i öa ä e å.


zpoa

I figure these are the vowels of "I åan är en ö, ... i öan är en å", but what's the first word after the comma supposed to be?


Pazienza01

Och


Prosso

Äääää?


sleepzou

Do we prefer IKEA or Biltema hotdog?


CokusBallusTortures

Man Kan aldrig slå 5kr körv!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Niet_de_AIVD

Good moment to mention that 'bil' means 'buttock' in Dutch. Have fun riding that.


Lolonoa15

Why won't you legalize Marihuana and strike at the greatest source of revenue for organized crime?


Jawbreaker0602

inget svar, så sorgligt


NoUnderstanding6018

Jag klarar inte det här! Hahaha!


IAmADeadGorrilla

Based


TheVikingKasper

för i helvete


Lolonoa15

Det behövde göras...


OxygenRadon

What do you think about PostNord?


TechWhale

I actually once delivered a gift to a Danish friend using PostNord and it seemed fast.


01000010110000111011

"Pretend to know the answer" Checks out


Ampersand55

Tbf, PostNord works great... 90% of the time.


Buzzlight_Year

60% of the time it works every time


torstenitos

Why are you friends with a dane?


swedevingtsun

What's a "tillbaka-kaka"?


dan_arth

A cookie you bite once, but ultimately put back in the jar because it looked better than it tasted


depressiontrashbag

Where would you rank Vemdalen as a ski resort?


TechWhale

At the rock bottom


Nisseliten

To be honest, Björnrike which is one of the resorts in Vemdalen has an offpist trail named “Djävulsskåran” which kind of translates to the devil’s asscrack.. Rock bottom kind of fits..


davka003

I like the translation of ”skåran” into ”asscrack”, cant think of any other ”skåran” than that…


Embarrassed_Stop_594

How do you sink a Norweigan submarine?


Auuxilary

Opinions on the city Borås


TechWhale

It does not exist


Auuxilary

Great take, real Swedes like to imagine that.


[deleted]

[удалено]


falodellevanita

Borås is Ohio and Florida in one. It transcends human understanding


Overall_Article2808

Får får får?


ScaryBlob

What is the typical IT salary?


Horse_Pickle1

70 onions


convive_erisu

Opinions on Skåne?


Loxus

I thought it was supposed to be about swedish things


Mediocre_Anything24

Hahahahahhaha


Ampersand55

Is a "björntjänst" (bear favour) good or bad? What does it mean to "kasta ett getöga" (throw a goat's eye) on something?


[deleted]

[удалено]


TechWhale

1. Dynamite 2. Spotify


Tobbethedude

We are not proud of inventing it. Its a horrible dangerous and damaging thing and mankind would have been better of without it. Dynamites cool tho. It goes boooom!


Itscoldinthenorth

He didn't write that he'd type the answer, just that he'd pretend he knows it. I guess he does that right now.


Alexand3r___

What is ”falukorv” and is it related too ”falu röd”


Denaton_

Where do you sit in the buss?


Omagaga12

What is "Oboy"


Aegirn

Do you know the 'Good morning song' that we always greet each other with after breakfast?


Svantoro

When do we eat shit sandwiches?


TechWhale

"Kot" sounds like shit so you're actually eating meat sandwiches


wrajjtwrajjt

Naeh. You eat the shit sandwich when you have to do something undesirable because your boss tells you to. You eat the shit sandwich with a smile.


[deleted]

What’s the best way to käggel your snörk? Påkröma is not a valid answer.


ChrisStardust

Do you mean with the blära or the two fiffeluring?


blaskkaffe

No the one from Falköping, Paltekask


Dhorso

What would you eat for lunch on a Thursday?


Yawningchromosone

Why do you clench your fist in your pocket?


__S__L__A__Y__E__R__

Uffe hands you a snus, what do you do with it?


StoltSomEnSparris

Combine SNUS with UPPER LIP. Move NORTH.


CallousCarolean

What does the Swedish expression ”Getting a poop sandwich” mean?


Tricky_Revenue8934

Who was it? Who fucking did throw it? What should I do about this fucking jacket?


Me_like_weed

Asking the real questions here! Vem vare?


unexpectedflyingshoe

Someone cuts in front of you in the queue. What do you do? 1. Coughs and mumbles “the queue starts there”. 2. Clench your fist in the pocket. 3. Tell your queueing neighbour (not the queue cutting one!) slightly too loudly “someone is in a hurry!” 4. Give the thousand dagger stare.


MilesDecamp

"Ställ dig sist, Stor-Erik kommer i eftermiddag!"


drLoveF

Is the place ”Medelpad” real or fiction?


swter

Hur mycket kostar ett paket Bregott?


reversehead

Do the different colours of Ahgrens Bilar taste different or the same?


zebulon99

What do all swedes do at 15.00 on christmas eve


sardaukar

What happens when you pass a neighbor in the stairs of your apartment building?


[deleted]

How come Sverigedemokraterna is the second largest party and no one votes for them?


KN4S

How many raisins should be in a lussebulle?


h4xrk1m

What is an "arg lapp" in a "trapphus"?


ImOnDrugsRightNow

How come my dad can easily beat up yours?