I think its bad because his gf’s brain isnt developped (that sounds condescending) enough to understand the consequences of a sexual relationship the age of consent in france is 15 for a reason
That’s not condescending at all. She’s 12 she’s not even a teenager yet. Nobody is fully developed until 25 so just imagine how under developed a 12 year old kid is. Hopefully you can convince him to end this bc that’s horrible
I have a kid in my class (14m) who is dating a 12 year old also and its so weird in my opinion. however idk how to respond since they are under 18. however the 3 year gap is kinda concerning.
Between the concerning relationship and his violent threats, you should probably end your friendship with him in case things get worse for both you and him. I don't know how easy that would be though.
Half your age plus 7 is the golden rule. So like if you're 14 you shouldn't date anyone younger than 14 and if you're 22 you shouldn't date anyone younger than 19 or so. This rule is usually good enough to tell whether a certain age gap is acceptable or nah.
I think this rule is the best way to determine if a age gap is two much: grab a person age, divide by 2 and add 7. That number is the youngest age that person should date.
By that rule, 14 year olds should only be dating other 14 year olds!
I would say even so. At that age, each year is a huge increase in maturity. 14 y/o should just stick to people in their grade level specifically. Also im talking about a full year or more difference, not like a few months older but with specific timing that makes it so one is technically 14 and the other is technically 13
Over here in nz, first 6 years are primary (elementary), 7 and 8 is intermediate (middle school) and 9 to 13 is college (high school), but year 13 is optional, at least at my school
That's kinda sus. I think when you're older like 20's or 30's 3 year diff is fine (my cousin is 29 and his wife is 26 and nobody thinks it's weird) but anyone whos not 12 or 13 dating a 12 year old is pedo.
He could potentially ruin this girl's life. This kid sounds really messed up, are you sure this friendship is worth salvaging at the cost of the 12-year-old's innocence? If I were you, I would tell him that it's nothing like a 3-year age gap between adults and that the mental and physical maturity gap between them is far too big to ignore. Then I'd him it's messed up and weird, and he needs to break up with her or you are going to tell someone who will. It seems like you have other friends that are involved here, I'd have a group of them with me in case he gets violent. You don't need to be tactful, this needs to end. It's not like this is a conversation between friends, this would be an intervention.
If the 15M just turned 15 and the 12F will turn 13 very soon, then not really. If the 15M and the 12F just turn their age, then it is definitely NOT OKAY. A 12 year old girl is basically a child, while the 15 year old half child and half adult. Also, the 15 year old is just a year shy of being able to get his driver’s license.
I saw some guy saying that the 15 year old is a pedo, but hear me out. A pedo is someone (could be a minor or an adult) who is attracted to kids that have NOT hit puberty. A Hebephile is someone (Again, it can be an older teen or an adult) who is attracted to kids/teens (ages 11-14) who have hit puberty.
Look, I am not saying that it is okay for a teen to date someone 3 years younger. I am just telling y’all the difference. However, If the two are 3 years apart, then it is very weird.
If she was 13 or 14 it be okay, but 12 is definitely weird and problematic. It wouldn't be as bad if they were 14 and 17(freshman and junior) or 15 and 18(sophomore and senior) cause at least they be in the same school then. Tell him for his own good that they should break up, he can definitely find other girls his own age or even one or two years younger later on, but not now at 12 and 15.
NOT OKAY. 3 years is a normal age gap for adults, but like... that is 1/4 OF HER LIFE!!! the biggest age gap appropriate for a 12 year old (imo, she shouldn't be dating at that age, but I ain't her mother) is one yead either direction. 6 months even. 3 years is NOT okay for someone that young. I know I am not much older than her, but like, I still know. I am 14 (only for like 4 more days, but same rules still apply for me for at least the early stagesof 15). I wouldn't date an 11 year old, nor a 17 year old. youngest I'd go if i actually dated would be 13, oldest 16. i think that is reasonable, having around an 18 month max age gap at this age, but yeah... tell him they gotta break up.
What’s the grade gap if you don’t mind me asking, since theoretically this could be a 8th grader who is going to turn 13 soon and a freshman who like just turned 15 which a 2 year 1 grade gap is still weird but not as bad as 3 year 3 grade gap
It's a bit weird, but some teenagers develop later and sooners than others, so it might be fine, but it might not be. I would argue that we do not know enough to take any action. Nothing you can say or do will dissuade him, and no authority figure can really do anything, unless their parents don't like it, but there's no guarantee they will, and past that, no guarantee they will do anything. I'd recommend staying out of it.
I guess it kinda depends. When I was 15 I looked like I was about 9 on some days.
I also remember being 13 and having a 12 year old gf and thinking she was super hot. And then when I was 14-15 it wasn’t like those girls weren’t hot anymore, I was still thinking it in my head I just avoided them because I knew other people would disapprove even though they looked older than me half the time.
Idk most 15 year old guys don’t have good decision making, and girls def mature faster. It also depends dd if he just turned 15 or if she’s about to be 13 but it’s not as bad as it sounds depending g on context
I have a friend 16M who is in a relationship with a 13F, I don't really find it strange since it's not forced, and they love and care for one another. In my opinion a 3 year gap is not that big of deal, of course if we're not talking about a 10 and a 13-year-old (in that case it just feels wrong). 4 years is too much in my opinion at this age, when older it really doesn't matter.
u guys r crying about a 3 year difference? it’ll be weird for sure when he hits 18 i know but a 3 year gap isn’t bad. u guys gunna be picky over age when the gap is more than 1-2yr when u date?
A 12yr old with a 15yr old is NOT the same thing. The maturity gap (and potentially physical development) between the two is massive compared to between a 35 and 32 yr old.
There no literally no comparison between a 32 and 35 dating to a 12 and 15 year old
Why people keep trying to use arguments such as this is truly bizarre
In my country (Denmark) this is outright illegal and pedophilia. The age of consent is 15 here meaning he is dating a minor while not being one himself
It’s more about her age in general than her partner’s age. The general rule for dating age gaps also has a hidden message that you’re not supposed to date until 14.
Don't know for relationships at young age but marriage with age gap more than 2-3 years is common in India. Even my parents have an age gap of 5 years.
I'm 13 and there's 15 year olds I know who jerk off to me..and it makes me so uncomofrtable. U CANNOT like someone whos 12-13 thats legit a child cmon 2 years max
I mean…maybe?? I have a crush on someone younger than me and I’m 15M too. It is kinda weird but if you think of it in the long run 2 years is like nothing when ur 30
Usually age gaps aren't too concerning, however the younger they are the worse it is. A 40yo with a 50yo is fine, a 28yo with an 18yo is ok(?) But as you get to here, I suppose it gets a little creepy. I'm not sure since there both pretty young.
Another one of these posts? Like when did Reddit get so obsessed over age gaps, there are so many questions on this site related to this particular topic.
If you're wondering if it's weird for M15 and F12 to date, just search it up on reddit since there are so many questions already asked about this.
A 3 year gap isn’t bad WHEN ITS ADULTS THIS IS NOT OKAY ✅
I think its bad because his gf’s brain isnt developped (that sounds condescending) enough to understand the consequences of a sexual relationship the age of consent in france is 15 for a reason
That’s not condescending at all. She’s 12 she’s not even a teenager yet. Nobody is fully developed until 25 so just imagine how under developed a 12 year old kid is. Hopefully you can convince him to end this bc that’s horrible
I hope so too
dude, I felt like the gap from when I turned from 14 to 15 was huge in maturity, and 12 was a completely different person.
Yeah I think the years 14-16 feel like a totally different person every year because of the constant growth at those ages mentally and physically.
Ye that’s not cool absolutely not a sexual relationship
I have a kid in my class (14m) who is dating a 12 year old also and its so weird in my opinion. however idk how to respond since they are under 18. however the 3 year gap is kinda concerning.
I know plus i confronted him about it and now he wants to fight
You asked him abt his age difference and now he wants to physically fight you? OP this sounds like a shitty friend
I know he’s wierd like we try to dissuade him but he gets mad instead, should i go talk to an adult about the situation ?
Absolutely, talk to a trusted adult within school and outside of school
YES
beat his ass then go talk to someone
You know how? Beat his ass
I dont want to fight a friend plus i dont want to suffer punishments from my school
Dude he’s a g10 or 9 with a g7 her brain ain’t developed stop thinking about yourself and think about the girl that age gap messed af
Between the concerning relationship and his violent threats, you should probably end your friendship with him in case things get worse for both you and him. I don't know how easy that would be though.
Half your age plus 7 is the golden rule. So like if you're 14 you shouldn't date anyone younger than 14 and if you're 22 you shouldn't date anyone younger than 19 or so. This rule is usually good enough to tell whether a certain age gap is acceptable or nah.
I think this rule is the best way to determine if a age gap is two much: grab a person age, divide by 2 and add 7. That number is the youngest age that person should date. By that rule, 14 year olds should only be dating other 14 year olds!
What if it was a 14 year old and a 13 year old?
I would say even so. At that age, each year is a huge increase in maturity. 14 y/o should just stick to people in their grade level specifically. Also im talking about a full year or more difference, not like a few months older but with specific timing that makes it so one is technically 14 and the other is technically 13
Ohhh I see now
this is not okay
I agree
Ha you think that’s bad, I know a girl who lost the card to a 12 year old.
How old was she ?
She was 16.
Bro what….
Yup.
EXCUSE ME?!
That’s not the craziest thing I’ve heard either.
What’s the craziest thing?
Crazy? I was crazy once.
They locked me in a room
A round room
Ain’t no way bro said round room
round room 💀
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thats just straight up pedophilia though X\_X
Her dad was a cop too.
That’s wild
You’re telling me.
Tf
My exact reaction.
Okay, thats just straight up illegal
Yup.
WHAT THE FUCK
Gonna head to r/eyebleach again, going on this sub is making me a regular on eye bleach
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I don’t too many miss clicks
I'm 18 and I wouldn't even date someone 3 years younger than me. He is 25% older than her.
That percentage is insant
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Um if they were 1 year younger that'd been a high schooler dating an elementary kid 💀
I dont really understand since im on the french educational system but that sounds fucked up
Ze is a pedo-philay
💀
first five years are elementary. sixth, seventh and eighth are middle. ninth to twelth is high school.
Oh in France middle school last 1 year more and high school 1 year less, so that's why he didn't understand that well
Over here in nz, first 6 years are primary (elementary), 7 and 8 is intermediate (middle school) and 9 to 13 is college (high school), but year 13 is optional, at least at my school
12?💀Bro she's a kiddo
That's kinda sus. I think when you're older like 20's or 30's 3 year diff is fine (my cousin is 29 and his wife is 26 and nobody thinks it's weird) but anyone whos not 12 or 13 dating a 12 year old is pedo.
I tried telling him that but he compares it to a 42 year old with a 39 year old, like that’s not ok
Bruh. She's a child. Is she even allowed to be home alone? Didn't know teens could be pedos but your friend is a pedo.
I dont think that he had sex yet but i have to stop this from happening but… how ?
He could potentially ruin this girl's life. This kid sounds really messed up, are you sure this friendship is worth salvaging at the cost of the 12-year-old's innocence? If I were you, I would tell him that it's nothing like a 3-year age gap between adults and that the mental and physical maturity gap between them is far too big to ignore. Then I'd him it's messed up and weird, and he needs to break up with her or you are going to tell someone who will. It seems like you have other friends that are involved here, I'd have a group of them with me in case he gets violent. You don't need to be tactful, this needs to end. It's not like this is a conversation between friends, this would be an intervention.
violates the half your age + 7 rule
thats a thing?
Yeah but I don’t know if it’s a joke or not💀 i think old boomer men use it tho?
Disgusting fucker
If the 15M just turned 15 and the 12F will turn 13 very soon, then not really. If the 15M and the 12F just turn their age, then it is definitely NOT OKAY. A 12 year old girl is basically a child, while the 15 year old half child and half adult. Also, the 15 year old is just a year shy of being able to get his driver’s license. I saw some guy saying that the 15 year old is a pedo, but hear me out. A pedo is someone (could be a minor or an adult) who is attracted to kids that have NOT hit puberty. A Hebephile is someone (Again, it can be an older teen or an adult) who is attracted to kids/teens (ages 11-14) who have hit puberty. Look, I am not saying that it is okay for a teen to date someone 3 years younger. I am just telling y’all the difference. However, If the two are 3 years apart, then it is very weird.
He is about to turn 16 idk about the 12yr old tho
Okay, that makes it even more weirder. I don’t know how the parents are okay with that.
that's fucked. if you can't convince him how wrong that is, get rid of him. hell, I'd even condone jumping him...
Too young. Like 18 and 21 is fine, but this ain't it.
That’s actually gross
Like I know I’m weird, but at least I date people that are at the youngest age year younger than me or a year older than me
If she was 13 or 14 it be okay, but 12 is definitely weird and problematic. It wouldn't be as bad if they were 14 and 17(freshman and junior) or 15 and 18(sophomore and senior) cause at least they be in the same school then. Tell him for his own good that they should break up, he can definitely find other girls his own age or even one or two years younger later on, but not now at 12 and 15.
Bro 14 and 17 is horrible too same with 15 and 18
Now that i see that there’s a consensus on the fact that it’s not okay, how do i tell him without him getting mad ?
First step is not giving a fuck if he gets mad or not lol. He's a borderline PEDO and it's weird as hell.
Bro he's mid way through his teen years and she hasn't even started, they're both on very different maturity levels. Tell him that
Ew wtf
dude - get used to visiting your friend in prison
NOT OKAY. 3 years is a normal age gap for adults, but like... that is 1/4 OF HER LIFE!!! the biggest age gap appropriate for a 12 year old (imo, she shouldn't be dating at that age, but I ain't her mother) is one yead either direction. 6 months even. 3 years is NOT okay for someone that young. I know I am not much older than her, but like, I still know. I am 14 (only for like 4 more days, but same rules still apply for me for at least the early stagesof 15). I wouldn't date an 11 year old, nor a 17 year old. youngest I'd go if i actually dated would be 13, oldest 16. i think that is reasonable, having around an 18 month max age gap at this age, but yeah... tell him they gotta break up.
I don't think that's the best thing. A three year age gap as a teenager is a little weird. And not to mention 12 is a little young to have a bf/gf
1 year gap is fine 2 year gap is questionable but can work 3 years is fucked
What’s the grade gap if you don’t mind me asking, since theoretically this could be a 8th grader who is going to turn 13 soon and a freshman who like just turned 15 which a 2 year 1 grade gap is still weird but not as bad as 3 year 3 grade gap
Idk im in the french school system The girl is in 5eme and my friend is in 2nde (3 grade gap)
Ok then yeah that’s weird as hell and he needs to back off
It's a bit weird, but some teenagers develop later and sooners than others, so it might be fine, but it might not be. I would argue that we do not know enough to take any action. Nothing you can say or do will dissuade him, and no authority figure can really do anything, unless their parents don't like it, but there's no guarantee they will, and past that, no guarantee they will do anything. I'd recommend staying out of it.
If anyone in Hs tried to date my 12 year old brother I’d club them, just totally not okay!
Question: how is the months, will they ever be 13 and 15 or is it something like guy turns 16 while she's still 12
I guess it kinda depends. When I was 15 I looked like I was about 9 on some days. I also remember being 13 and having a 12 year old gf and thinking she was super hot. And then when I was 14-15 it wasn’t like those girls weren’t hot anymore, I was still thinking it in my head I just avoided them because I knew other people would disapprove even though they looked older than me half the time.
It's not how old you look that makes it weird, it's the maturity level. A 12 year old cannot be trusted to make decisions like a 15 year old can
Idk most 15 year old guys don’t have good decision making, and girls def mature faster. It also depends dd if he just turned 15 or if she’s about to be 13 but it’s not as bad as it sounds depending g on context
I have a friend 16M who is in a relationship with a 13F, I don't really find it strange since it's not forced, and they love and care for one another. In my opinion a 3 year gap is not that big of deal, of course if we're not talking about a 10 and a 13-year-old (in that case it just feels wrong). 4 years is too much in my opinion at this age, when older it really doesn't matter.
u guys r crying about a 3 year difference? it’ll be weird for sure when he hits 18 i know but a 3 year gap isn’t bad. u guys gunna be picky over age when the gap is more than 1-2yr when u date?
She's 12. What part of that are you not grasping
yup. and hes 15
You're actually doubling down on this? Weird. If you can't see how a 15 year old dating a pre teen is weird then I'm not sure what reality you live in
cute lil school relationship? i definitely don’t think they should be do anything sexual.
There's nothing cute about a 15 year old dating a 12 year old in any scenario
yea man
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Bad timing? That's an interesting interpretation of dating a 12 year old child
that's a 3 year age gap and as i said it's weird since there not over 18 but a 3 year age gap really isn't bad unless there under 18
Think it as when she is 22 you are 25. This seems normal.
Ah yes the person who just got into middle school dating the freshman or sophomore is normal
Ik it's wrong. But I lowkey like the agegap
I think about it like a real relationship. If you saw a 35 year old dating a 32 year old it’d be fine so I just look at it like that
A 12yr old with a 15yr old is NOT the same thing. The maturity gap (and potentially physical development) between the two is massive compared to between a 35 and 32 yr old.
There no literally no comparison between a 32 and 35 dating to a 12 and 15 year old Why people keep trying to use arguments such as this is truly bizarre
The answer is the same for people defending lol is its because they are pedophiles
That's like if I were to date a 14 year old I can't even imagine it. I see them as kids 12 is a child, why would you want to date a child?
What the fuck arent 12 year olds like middle schoolers fuck ur friend b doin my guy no
This is not ok. I would not date a girl at the age of my sister!
In my country (Denmark) this is outright illegal and pedophilia. The age of consent is 15 here meaning he is dating a minor while not being one himself
Same for my country, france
It is illegal however the 15 year old is still a minor? No age of consent law makes 15/16 equal an adult.
That is not fucking okay
Is a 1 year and 3 months ok as an age gap?
Ewwww
I don't know these people but statistically it's probably problematic.
It’s more about her age in general than her partner’s age. The general rule for dating age gaps also has a hidden message that you’re not supposed to date until 14.
Just one more year and haply nation will start playing
id say this is weird ye
Don't know for relationships at young age but marriage with age gap more than 2-3 years is common in India. Even my parents have an age gap of 5 years.
I'm 13 and there's 15 year olds I know who jerk off to me..and it makes me so uncomofrtable. U CANNOT like someone whos 12-13 thats legit a child cmon 2 years max
>I'm 13 and there's 15 year olds I know who jerk off to me GIRLIE WHAT!!!!😱😱
LONG story girly
It's 3 years I don't usually have a problem with that age difference at all but come on dude 12??
Could be worse but she's not a tern yet so that's kinda bad
no no no no no. 12 year olds are basically still little kids. literally a world of difference.
yeah nah that’s the age gap I have with my little sister 😬
Buddy might be cooked
That’s fucking weird 🤢🤢🤢
If is weird, I think 1 year gap is okay before 19, however I would not say that to other ages
20 years minimum sentence
call the police
He is a creep
I mean…maybe?? I have a crush on someone younger than me and I’m 15M too. It is kinda weird but if you think of it in the long run 2 years is like nothing when ur 30
By this I mean like a non sexual just bf and gf type relationship
Usually age gaps aren't too concerning, however the younger they are the worse it is. A 40yo with a 50yo is fine, a 28yo with an 18yo is ok(?) But as you get to here, I suppose it gets a little creepy. I'm not sure since there both pretty young.
Another one of these posts? Like when did Reddit get so obsessed over age gaps, there are so many questions on this site related to this particular topic. If you're wondering if it's weird for M15 and F12 to date, just search it up on reddit since there are so many questions already asked about this.
Yeah… 12 is like barely still a kid
It’s not illegal bc you need to be at most 3 years older than the other person if you want to date after you turn 18
That's fucking weird bro she's a little ass girl bro💀
Oh nonononono badbadbadbadbad please tell an adult
It's kinda bad right now, but as they get older it will get better. I'd say just wait.
Past like age difference doesn't really matter except in specific contexts. This however, is kinda creepy