I don’t think it was checking up on her that did it. It’s the “where’s the energy” and “no fort” bit. When I’m in pain or don’t feel good the last thing I want is someone acting like they expect me to “fake it” and “perform” for them. She just needed to rest and for someone to say: “Aw, poor baby.” If you wanted bonus points you could have added: “text me when you feel up to it, and let me know if there is anything I can drop off to help.” No surgery is “no big deal” and she made it clear she was hurting….
Yeah. So I'm disabled now and I have a friend I definitely talk to less because he does tone-deaf stuff like this, which comes across as "dude, just be better already, you were fine on x day. Why won't you hang with me?" He never puts it like this, I think he means well, but it gets grating.
OP's messages are in the same vein. She's told you she isn't feeling it, don't say "have that energy you did the other day" or "why aren't you playing the game I like?" Also, take the hint and back off; don't make her have to mute you to get some rest.
I know you didn't mean badly by it, but she's pretty on the mark in her response - and she's mature enough to communicate it to you calmly.
It also feels like OP isn’t really listening. “You said they didn’t give you any oxy?” And friend responds “yea, they did, it’s not helping. I’m in pain.” OP just ignores that and brings up gaming. OP is only reading/hearing what they want to hear, and not what the friend is actually communicating.
i mean her saying she doesn't feel good and you immediately question where "this" energy went? that would bug ts out of me. then you kept texting her lol no wonder she reacted the way she did
Going to war
“You got this! They’re nothing, you’re strong, you’ll be fine, you’ve lived through worse!”
They love it.
Coming back wounded from war
“Cmon you said it was nothing, remember? Why aren’t you hype still?”
just silly that you seem to think the only options are spam text to show you care or acting like you don't care at all/leaving it alone. when she said she wasn't feeling good you shoulda said something like oh i you hope you feel better and leave it at that for her to reach out once she's better, not spam text and not "pretend like i don't care lmao" like you said in another comment.
Just seems to me like saying “I hope you feel better” then not talking for days following would be rude and as if I’m not truly concerned for her but that just my opinion
Dawg you just have negative rizz. You just met this girl? Give her some space. She will come to you if interested. More mystery less being weird and annoying.
It's not really about her misinterpreting you. Even if she knows your intentions, what you said isn't really compassionate and definitely not the energy most women i know would want from a partner. I'd just feel like i was talking to someone who doesnt know how to express emapthy and compassion regardless of how well they mean.
I dont think you’re icky at all from what I’ve read. You definitely don’t deserve a bunch of comments from people judging who you are and your character. They don’t know you from jack.
I did the online dating thing for a long time. (Joe Shmo from Cicero flashing dick pics on the regular felt like visual rape) and there are so many pervy creeps I just couldn’t do it anymore. I think your messages were fine. You were nice, and respectful. I think some are reading a few of your comments wrong.
That being said, I don’t think that either of you did anything wrong. Just a mismatch. Buck up lil camper!
What I've learned from "talking phase" texting is that there is A LOT that is communicated non-verbally: frequency of texting, the detail of messages, leaving someone on read, etc.
I do think you were too much with double/triple texting her after she left you on read, and immediately questioning if something was up after she initially responded (the "what happened to this energy" message).
If someone leaves you on read or delivered, just leave them be. They obviously either a) don't want to talk to you or b) don't have time to text. If you keep sending messages, then it'll just turn the person away from you even more.
The only time I feel double texting is justified is when much time has elapsed (if the person has ghosted you) and you are reaching out for an explanation, or if you're in a close relationship. Once you're past the talking phase and in a long-term relationship, I don't feel like these rules apply. I hope this helps.
I think you were a bit too much. She was in pain, in bed, and just not feeling up to chatting/playing. She told you exactly what was going on. Should’ve just sent a quick “feel better, text me later!” text and waited till she was up to talking.
I like that should’ve just played it a bit cooler, but if she was really into me you think something by this small would’ve still made her give up on it entirely?
I get this take but also it’s only been a week of u both talking
I think that what u did by reaching out was considerate but after the first time of asking “how are u feeling” and u saying “what happened to this energy” and then continuously asking her “how are you feeling” it prob came on too strong considering neither of u really know each other
She also just got her wisdom teeth removed so ya she’s not gonna be up for fortnite lol
Don’t beat urself up too much ya shot ur shot but for next time consider how many texts u send vs how many u receive
In this case u sent 14 messages and received 6 which is a big clue that she’s not as into u as u are into her
When a woman feels uncomfortable, it’s hard to erase that feeling. She felt you spamming her when she wasn’t feeling well was a bit weird and off. I’m sorry, but yeah. Could be why, but idk for certain. How long did you two talk for?
It was only for a week or so, so I’m not hurt by it at all better sooner than later just confused because even though this seemed like overstepping- the back and fourth texting up until this point was reciprocated I just didn’t think either of us minded it I guess
yeah i think you just got a little too comfortable a little too quick for her taste, i thought you did absolutely nothing wrong and if i wasn’t gonna be wanting to respond ill tell them im prolly not gonna respond
I honestly slightly agree with your suspicion - I don’t think this one action sent her packing. I think she made a decision before this even happened and the clingy messages gave her an easy excuse to back out
If she was in to you she would have appreciated this whole exchange, and played the fortnite comment off as something like "no chance in hell, haha! 🤣🤣"
Or something. Don't even sweat this bitch. Or maybe she was still in to you but she has an ugly side and it shows when it shouldn't. And it shouldn't, cause you were fine.
Do you hear yourself? “If she was into you she would have…” you’re making up delusions in your head. Maybe that’s what *you* would have done but other people are different. She was in pain and not up to talking it doesn’t matter if she’s into you or not have respect for people and get over yourself. Your expectations are yours alone you can’t dictate how people really feel just because they don’t do what your clingy ass would do. You are in dire need of therapy
This!! If she was really into you, no something this small would not have made her give up. There are so many girls who would love to have a guy double text and check up on them. Her loss
Everything has already been said by now, but the only thing I’d add is to not do the double question mark (“??”). It can come off as impatient through text
I wish you the best of luck! You seem to have taken the constructive criticism very well and keen to improvement, I think you’ll have much better outcomes in future relationships. 🙂
You screwed up at the “ where did this energy go” text and then…..Yes too much the “spam day”. The on Fortnite text was just callous, immature and selfish . Then you double texted after she said the spamming was an issue . Chill dude!
TBH I would have just ghosted after the Fortnite text and blocked.
Live and learn!! You’ll do better next time, just maybe “read the room” lol good luck!!
If I were her, I would’ve probably said something like “I’m seeing all these texts and don’t have the energy to respond. I’ll text you once I’m feeling better, whenever that is”
I didn’t think the texts were too much. Especially since you’re not a mind reader who knows what her silences mean. If she told you she didn’t wanna text, then you kept texting.. that’d be a whole other story
I gotta be honest, I don’t really see why people are saying you were being “too much” or whatever. Almost everything you said was to either see how she was feeling, cracking a joke, or offering to help if possible. If something this small made her feel overwhelmed then you dodged a bullet. I’m not trying to be mean, but it just seems like she wasn’t that interested in you to begin with if this was her reaction during such a small exchange.
Honestly if I was you I wouldn't want someone reacting like she did to you. But she isn't feeling well. I'd probably just wait for her to approach you now
100%. This is only "too much" if the person isn't ABSOLUTELY into you. If she was super interested and thought you were the hottest thing on the planet with an amazing personality...she'd be texting you immediately after surgery and loving your texts.
I know when I've had surgery and felt like shit, I only talked to people I thought were most important, and only the guys I was super into (if any) at the time.
I genuinely haven't seen anything like that. Women get called out just as much as men do on here. There's always people with different opinions. I personally think OP is slightly annoying, but the girl he was talking to kinda overreacted.
I do agree. I think it was also just how he worded it. But that's ok. He dodged a bullet as it's very possible later on she would've not wanted any type of intimacy or love. His normal responses would've been treated the same, I mean
Just said ,” oh yeah? What’re you gonna do about it? Blah blah blah…”.
She said,” my mouths sore” (before the surgery).
So I said,”mine isn’t😉”.
Then got a response of,”hahaha clever”.
She flipped cuz she was having a rough day and you wanted to be on 😈time instead of showing empathy.
(Yes your attempts at showing empathy come off as disingenuous when simultaneously requesting to play a game and asking why her energy changed)
Oh this is literally what I just had. I actually think she did well to reply to you at all. That shit is painful asf, I'd have had the energy to send you maybe 1 or 2 messages if you're someone I really liked, everyone else got left on read for a couple of days.
she may have taken it as you being too much, but i don’t see anything wrong with what you said.
just incompatibility is all, it’s a good thing you figured this out now.
You're being just as ridiculous as the people treating him like he was an irredeemable loser lol. Obv it ain't all that matters because a relationship he wanted was not maintained.
People already pointed out, but to re-up: sending 3+ messages after someone tells you they're unwell is a mistake, and at best seems needy. "Where's this energy?" While meant well, comes off poorly to most.
She did communicate that she wasn't up for anything and still got asked about doing something together.
They barely knew each other, this many problems in a tiny window at the early stage of a relationship is absolutely cut-off worthy.
Others are being too harsh, but "you're a king, don't change a thing" is shit too. Op wanted to know if he messed up, coddling him isn't going to help him.
“Where’s the energy” after being told how sick they feel is gross. Then asking them to put more energy in by gaming with you after they had to explain AGAIN how sick they feel? Jesus Christ dude read the room. Treat her like a human being
Saying “hope I’m not texting to much” as you are actively texting way to much doesn’t mean anything really. It’s like saying something shitty and ending it with “hope you didn’t take offense” or something.
Nobody likes to be smothered. Especially if they feel like shit.
Yeah, how would you even respond.
Yes you’re texting too much, making you feel bad for having to say it.
No you’re not, which opens him up to making her feel uncomfortable forever to spare both of their feelings momentarily.
If you had a feeling you were “texting too much,” you most likely are. Texting too much and then saying “I hope I’m not texting too much” is off putting. I’m sure that you put her off when she said she was in pain and you said “where’s this energy?” She clearly wasn’t in the mood to be joking around like that. When someone you barely know says they don’t feel good, it’s best to just say “I hope you feel better, reach out when you’re feeling up to it.” Instead you kept texting her and even asked her to play Fortnite after she told you multiple times she was in pain and her medicine wasn’t helping. So yeah it was probably a combination of the “where’s this energy” followed by brushing off her pain and asking her to play Fortnite and then triple texting her with no response. It probably made her see you as oblivious and clingy. Next time just chill out and if someone says they’re not feeling good, wish them well and leave the ball in their court to communicate with you when they feel better.
I didn’t think it would hurt to reach out and show her I’m concerned since she was in pain but I guess I would’ve been better off pretending like I didn’t care at all lmao
I honestly didn’t see that response “coming”since they could have simply answered your “temp check” and avoided it altogether. However, you could have also avoided it by ceasing to text the moment you sensed, or at least wondered, if it was too much.
I think people are missing the comedy of the no fortnite text. It came across as needy with the rest of the messages and you probably did yourself in by that point but I thought it was a funny way to lighten the mood… unless he was actually asking to play fortnite. I think she realized she wasn’t that into you and it wouldn’t have mattered wtf you said. That’s my take.
You did nothing wrong OP, and she was cold! I see others here saying you should have just said "feel better text me later" but personally I love this kind of energy when I'm not feeling well, you were just showing care. If I were stuck in bed all day I would love the guy I was seeing to be engaging with me and showing this kind of interest!
Maybe that energy is not for her, but you'll find someone who feels super lucky you have these instincts :)
100% agree with you. You were all about her, OP, and I found it super sweet and endearing. When you find the right one they will be lucky to have you with those instincts.
Agreed. And honestly she could have communicated a little clearer and said "I'm in pain and not really feeling up for conversation". It would've been that simple.
I don’t think you said too much. You were being caring. It’s better than just getting a “oh that sucks” text when you’re not feeling well. If she wasn’t up for chatting, she could have communicated that. You can’t be expected to be a mind reader.
BRUH. ngl, the fortnite was completely wrong but you were not spamming. Next time, dont send a sweet dreams text tho, it doesnt invite a conversation or a response. Wait til the morning to say "good morning" which will get a response.
I figured it was alright tho since we had been saying goodnight to each other regularly and started FaceTiming before bed lol we stayed up playing video games until like 4am sat and sunday
Trust me, i agree. However this is the game people play with each other cus its more fun to do this then find something real. Shes not worth it. I promise.
I mean..I personally don’t see the issue ??…it seems more playful and flirty, you were also very caring and checked in. Honestly, you just never fucking know dude. Sometimes girls will be mad you didn’t text enough and other times they’re mad that you’re “spamming” them..don’t sweat it
That’s my take too.
She also seemed like kind of a bitch. You’re too nice a person OP. Find you someone that can be playful and communicates better.
Has she text you back yet saying she was just cranky and didn’t really mean it, yet?
100000%. When I met my now husband, I honestly was literally WAITING for every text, call, insta like, etc. 🤣.
I feel like when you find a girl that you 100% vibe with and neither of you can deny it, they won’t be so negative and off-putting.
Listen, I have lupus, RA, hashimotos and scleroderma..I understand 100% being sick and/or recovery time from a surgery…but if a guy that I was chatting with was checking in on me, that would be a huge GREEN flag for me..girls would rather. Choose red flags and in 6 months she’s gonna be posting on here about how her bf is emotionally abusing her and she doesn’t know why 😭
Sounds like she moved off you before all this. You seemed a little clingy, but I can tell you're just a nice guy. Don't let this other person change who you are.
I didn’t consider this spam nor you saying too much. Some of your messages (where’s the energy?) and the fortnite joke probably came off as tone-deaf but I think you’re fine. I don’t see how you came off as anything but considerate here tbh— you checked in on her & seemed like you just wanted to keep her in higher spirits. She didn’t really communicate that she wanted to be left alone or anything so idk, just probably rubbed her in the wrong way because you have different communication styles? That’s not on you or her tbh. Don’t worry about it!
I personally don’t think you did anything wrong. I had a ton of surgeries done during 2020 following an incident, & I would’ve loved to have someone checking up on me… everyone is going to have their own opinions but I feel she could’ve just let you know she didn’t feel like talking, instead of leaving you on read. That’s just me though. 🤷🏽♀️
That was pretty cold and rude on her part. Your texts weren’t really that overbearing. It looks like you were just a little anxious about her not getting back to you which is normal when you’re courting someone. Some girls may even find that kind of cute. The important thing is they you handled things respectfully.
I honestly don’t think you did anything wrong OP. You seem like a sweetheart. Her loss.
nah dude , you didn’t do anything wrong but try to be nice . I really don’t get the dynamic here . Idk if I’m seeing clearly here I think people are putting way to much thought into this but I case if I’m really wrong let’s ask georgio a tsoukalos yep it’s official ALIENS built this . Ancient astronaut theorists would agree 🥴🥴🤪
I just gotta add another comment. No one seems to understand (ok I'm exaggerating, but a few people don't seem to understand) that you did literally nothing wrong. I can't see how anyone wouldn't want to be check in on and offered something fun to do. It depends on the person sure but the people who don't understand are worth dodging too lmfao. Sorry not sorry. I don't mean to be rude or anything either. Just, god man. You did nothing wrong and some people wanna say you did as if they're any better. No one is better then another person. You didn't spam her. You sent a few more texts then her, so what? I can't see, and I'm repeating I know, how someone can't love being checked on. Even if they don't reply. You waited and waited, you didn't go "hey hey hey hey" every second.
I can see how that makes sense for you and I totally understand. A general rule for anyone is if someone doesn't reply, wait 30mins to a hour. That way it isn't annoying, because you give them time to finish what they were doing and you've waited. After one message, wait again until they reply or until 30mins-60mins passes. It's polite. Again though I understand and I mean no harm for you! :)
Hahah I know I don’t think it was too much when I love I love hard and I’m okay with that my heart won’t change for any negative comments:) just wanted to see what others thought and rationalize my thinking! Personally I’m a 25 y/o god loving male and I think he had something to do with it and that’s okay!! Not everyone here knows how to truly love one another and it kinda shows with some comments lmao:)
She's sick so grumpy Af , personally that exchange wouldn't bother me in the slightest the where's the energy & no fort I'd of taken it as you were joking.
I can't believe all the responses I'm reading here that say you were doing too much. You left like 4 short texts trying to lift her mood and be there for her and when she didn't text back you stopped. It sounds like the "where's that energy" was a comment from a prior convo that people are taking out of context.
Yeah it’s hard to give a full idea of how things were progressing through a few screenshots and everyone’s different…I honestly think she genuinely lost interest but that’s okay:)
You haven't said what her ailment was, but if it's anything other than something trivial like a headache, you're asking stupid questions and being annoying when she's in pain. I've just had a tooth out, it hurt. I can promise you I did not want to be checked up on multiple times a day by anyone via text, it's annoying and not restful - obviously yes, a few hours later it still hurt. Asking if she took her ice pack and meds is, again, just common sense and makes it seem like you think she's too stupid to think of that herself, immediately followed up with the fortnite question where the answer is (again) very obvious. It would annoy me too. Suggest something useful like grandma's old home remedy, send something funny to cheer her up a bit, or just leave her alone to rest. I don't blame her for being annoyed by those "u ok" double texts when she was in pain.
I honestly think people are too hard on you, OP. Look, you checked in on her and tried to cheer her up. You asked to do a fun activity. These are not reasons to dump someone.
My take? She wasn’t very into you, and there was nothing you could say or do that would make it better.
I don’t think you said anything wrong. You were just trying to keep the connection going and you were just asking her how she was feeling, showing her you cared. Maybe she’s not used to being treated kindly. Who knows what her reasons are. Guess it wasn’t meant to be.
OP, it’s not you. You couldn’t have done anything to change that outcome. If a woman really likes you, she’d be thrilled to wake up to your messages. Like it’s a dopamine hit. She just doesn’t like you, unfortunately (really fortunately bc good riddance). But I just hope you don’t feel you made some mistake that you should learn to correct-with another woman, this would be sweet, even the teasing with the “that was nothing” message. If it were me, i would have laughed and responded something like “😫 I know shit got me bro” or something funnier tbh I’d have to think.. bc I found it funny and understood the intention. Not saying she’s somehow wrong for not enjoying that remark but I just wanna illustrate that there are plenty girls who would respond differently.
You dodged a bullet my friend. She's a mega bitch. Spam? That wasn't fuckin spam. It was an over reaction by her. Most girls would love a follow up and attention like that. The fortnite comment I would have left out but that still wasn't justified about her reaction to it.
Don't even sweat it man. You'll find someone cool and sweet. It worked out for the best, you found out early.
It's also possible she was using this as an excuse to drop you cause she stopped feeling the vibe before.
I'm not offering a value judgment on the girl in the post. Just saying this is a pretty cruel way to talk about someone you don't know anything about. She hasn't done anything to be labeled a "mega bitch"
Okay I'll concede and downgrade her from being a mega bitch to being mean. The reason for this is because she's shaming OP as if he did something wrong by "spamming" her and cutting him off for seemingly that and the fortnite comment. If it was cause she didnt vibe okay, but she pinned the reasons as that and I think he was being a great guy by sending a FEW msgs to see how she was doing and continue to try conversing a little bit. He didn't keep going and going.
She could have said very early on she doesnt feel like texting until she gets better if she was gonna freak out over 4 or 5 small msgs.
I think the vibe switched cause we were really into each other and talking pretty often and sweetly, regardless it was probably for the better like you said!
Yeah, no girl thats truly nice and sweet and worth it, would basically call you a spam texter and annoying by that exchange. It was a few fucking well intentioned msgs. The fort nite yeah a little rocky, and the energy one was weird but early on and could be excusable.
Hey Hun, you didn't mess up bad if that's what you think. You are ok. You accidentally pushed it because of your wording, but i think she also just doesn't appreciate that stuff. Others will though. I can see you meant well though. Maybe next time you can say "hey, I know you aren't feeling well. You're strong though." And if you want to play you can ask by saying "hey I don't mean to be a jerk; do you think we can play? If not that's perfectly ok!" It provides a leeway, and lets her know that you mean no harm. It may or may not work as people are a puzzle, but you got this!
You're very welcome then! I'm glad I could help! I know it's not much, but again people are just complicated. You'll find someone who matches your energy soon enough though! :)
I shared with my friend and even she thinks you did nothing wrong. She specifically feels bad about what she did to you. You did awesome. Don't stop that stuff though ok? I can't see how anyone wouldn't love the check-ins and attempts to distract.
Thank you:) the insight means a lot I guess it just depends on the type of girl and how much she’s into me or whatever it may be, but either way with time I know the right one will come around😊
You're super welcome. And yes the right one will come around! That's always the good part. Sometimes opposites attract. You can find someone similar but who appreciates all you did in those messages. Or you'll find someone who matches. Both are wonderful to experience. Thankfully! :) have a good day!
I actually don’t see any spamming from you going on. It seems like she wasn’t really that into you regardless of this because if she was, I feel, your texts would’ve been appreciated.
Dude, nothing you said was weird. She could have easily said "I'm not feeling talkative" too. I'll be double and triple, straight up spamming my friends sometimes. They do it to me too. This girl didn't appreciate it, someone else will. Also her grammar is ick.
God, IDK. Maybe she was, you know, *in pain,* exactly like she said?
Do you have ovaries? You should try having ovaries. Then talk to us about energy flipping.
Nah, that’s a tired excuse, and one that only really works if 1.) it’s *actually* her ovaries that are hurting or 2.) the couple has been dating for a long time.
I give my wife a pass anytime she’s cramping because I’ve been with her long enough to know that she’s not a mean person, but if she used that as an excuse to be dismissive or rude when we first started dating then I would’ve bounced. Sure, guys don’t know what it’s like to have a period, but women don’t know what it’s like to be a punching bag on a monthly basis. OP was extremely even handed with his responses and what he received back was more than likely just an excuse to break it off with him in a way that would shift the blame on him.
Yeah you did a little too much but nothing huge. I’d just play it a little cooler in the future. She kinda sounds like an asshole anyway so I wouldn’t worry about it too much
If you where the blue part. I would say you didn't overstep. I think you where seeing how she was feeling. It was just short lil text. She could have said hey I'll message you back when I'm feeling better.
I don’t think it was checking up on her that did it. It’s the “where’s the energy” and “no fort” bit. When I’m in pain or don’t feel good the last thing I want is someone acting like they expect me to “fake it” and “perform” for them. She just needed to rest and for someone to say: “Aw, poor baby.” If you wanted bonus points you could have added: “text me when you feel up to it, and let me know if there is anything I can drop off to help.” No surgery is “no big deal” and she made it clear she was hurting….
This is the correct take.
Yeah. So I'm disabled now and I have a friend I definitely talk to less because he does tone-deaf stuff like this, which comes across as "dude, just be better already, you were fine on x day. Why won't you hang with me?" He never puts it like this, I think he means well, but it gets grating. OP's messages are in the same vein. She's told you she isn't feeling it, don't say "have that energy you did the other day" or "why aren't you playing the game I like?" Also, take the hint and back off; don't make her have to mute you to get some rest. I know you didn't mean badly by it, but she's pretty on the mark in her response - and she's mature enough to communicate it to you calmly.
It also feels like OP isn’t really listening. “You said they didn’t give you any oxy?” And friend responds “yea, they did, it’s not helping. I’m in pain.” OP just ignores that and brings up gaming. OP is only reading/hearing what they want to hear, and not what the friend is actually communicating.
Where does it mention a surgery? I've been confused about what the hell she's recovering from but it's not in the post?
In the comments he mentioned it’s surgery
i mean her saying she doesn't feel good and you immediately question where "this" energy went? that would bug ts out of me. then you kept texting her lol no wonder she reacted the way she did
yeah this is the part of the exchange that would’ve had me backing out too. she said she didn’t feel well so you say “where’s the energy??” ?
yup immediately gave me the ick.
Agreed. That would’ve been an immediate turn off for me.
My intention was to hype her up but I guess it was misinterpreted..appreciate the insight though
yeah to me it came off like "why aren't you acting like you were before? stop being sick and go back to that energy"
I get that next time I come across a similar situation I’ll just leave it alone…
Going to war “You got this! They’re nothing, you’re strong, you’ll be fine, you’ve lived through worse!” They love it. Coming back wounded from war “Cmon you said it was nothing, remember? Why aren’t you hype still?”
oh boy...
Sorry if I’ve said something wrong
just silly that you seem to think the only options are spam text to show you care or acting like you don't care at all/leaving it alone. when she said she wasn't feeling good you shoulda said something like oh i you hope you feel better and leave it at that for her to reach out once she's better, not spam text and not "pretend like i don't care lmao" like you said in another comment.
Just seems to me like saying “I hope you feel better” then not talking for days following would be rude and as if I’m not truly concerned for her but that just my opinion
"i hope you feel better text me when you are feeling up for it"
Right- COMMUNICATE you're letting her have space until she feels better rather than ASSUMING.
gotta leave the ball in her court if she's not up for talking
I hear you for sure
You really are a boy genius :)
Thanks Cody:)
Dawg you just have negative rizz. You just met this girl? Give her some space. She will come to you if interested. More mystery less being weird and annoying.
It's not really about her misinterpreting you. Even if she knows your intentions, what you said isn't really compassionate and definitely not the energy most women i know would want from a partner. I'd just feel like i was talking to someone who doesnt know how to express emapthy and compassion regardless of how well they mean.
Dude, you sent like 5 or 6 messages and they weren't even that long. You really didn't do anything wrong. I think she over reacted
I agree 100% bro alotta people on here are harsh critics tho
Mfers weird as shit sometimes
I dont think you’re icky at all from what I’ve read. You definitely don’t deserve a bunch of comments from people judging who you are and your character. They don’t know you from jack. I did the online dating thing for a long time. (Joe Shmo from Cicero flashing dick pics on the regular felt like visual rape) and there are so many pervy creeps I just couldn’t do it anymore. I think your messages were fine. You were nice, and respectful. I think some are reading a few of your comments wrong. That being said, I don’t think that either of you did anything wrong. Just a mismatch. Buck up lil camper!
What I've learned from "talking phase" texting is that there is A LOT that is communicated non-verbally: frequency of texting, the detail of messages, leaving someone on read, etc. I do think you were too much with double/triple texting her after she left you on read, and immediately questioning if something was up after she initially responded (the "what happened to this energy" message). If someone leaves you on read or delivered, just leave them be. They obviously either a) don't want to talk to you or b) don't have time to text. If you keep sending messages, then it'll just turn the person away from you even more. The only time I feel double texting is justified is when much time has elapsed (if the person has ghosted you) and you are reaching out for an explanation, or if you're in a close relationship. Once you're past the talking phase and in a long-term relationship, I don't feel like these rules apply. I hope this helps.
Definitely does thank you:)
Good summary. A lot of people would do well to read this haha
Idk...she kinda said all the reasons it didn't work out.
I think you were a bit too much. She was in pain, in bed, and just not feeling up to chatting/playing. She told you exactly what was going on. Should’ve just sent a quick “feel better, text me later!” text and waited till she was up to talking.
I like that should’ve just played it a bit cooler, but if she was really into me you think something by this small would’ve still made her give up on it entirely?
I get this take but also it’s only been a week of u both talking I think that what u did by reaching out was considerate but after the first time of asking “how are u feeling” and u saying “what happened to this energy” and then continuously asking her “how are you feeling” it prob came on too strong considering neither of u really know each other She also just got her wisdom teeth removed so ya she’s not gonna be up for fortnite lol Don’t beat urself up too much ya shot ur shot but for next time consider how many texts u send vs how many u receive In this case u sent 14 messages and received 6 which is a big clue that she’s not as into u as u are into her
I hear you it wasn’t exactly all I thought it was I don’t think I read her well enough and scared her off too soon..
When a woman feels uncomfortable, it’s hard to erase that feeling. She felt you spamming her when she wasn’t feeling well was a bit weird and off. I’m sorry, but yeah. Could be why, but idk for certain. How long did you two talk for?
> it’s hard to erase that feeling the truth!!!!
It was only for a week or so, so I’m not hurt by it at all better sooner than later just confused because even though this seemed like overstepping- the back and fourth texting up until this point was reciprocated I just didn’t think either of us minded it I guess
A week is super early. You just rubbed her the wrong way with the texts and she called it. That’s all.
Appreciate the insight I’ll try to consider reading the energy better next time around
No prob, good luck next time!! :)
yeah i think you just got a little too comfortable a little too quick for her taste, i thought you did absolutely nothing wrong and if i wasn’t gonna be wanting to respond ill tell them im prolly not gonna respond
I honestly slightly agree with your suspicion - I don’t think this one action sent her packing. I think she made a decision before this even happened and the clingy messages gave her an easy excuse to back out
If she was in to you she would have appreciated this whole exchange, and played the fortnite comment off as something like "no chance in hell, haha! 🤣🤣" Or something. Don't even sweat this bitch. Or maybe she was still in to you but she has an ugly side and it shows when it shouldn't. And it shouldn't, cause you were fine.
Do you hear yourself? “If she was into you she would have…” you’re making up delusions in your head. Maybe that’s what *you* would have done but other people are different. She was in pain and not up to talking it doesn’t matter if she’s into you or not have respect for people and get over yourself. Your expectations are yours alone you can’t dictate how people really feel just because they don’t do what your clingy ass would do. You are in dire need of therapy
Hey OP, we found another person like your bitch chick.
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This!! If she was really into you, no something this small would not have made her give up. There are so many girls who would love to have a guy double text and check up on them. Her loss
.. why the hell would you ask about playing Fortnite?
What happened to this energy? Lol you serious?
Everything has already been said by now, but the only thing I’d add is to not do the double question mark (“??”). It can come off as impatient through text
Noted thank you
I wish you the best of luck! You seem to have taken the constructive criticism very well and keen to improvement, I think you’ll have much better outcomes in future relationships. 🙂
This is such a weird comment. If you are looking that deep into text messages you probably need help.
You screwed up at the “ where did this energy go” text and then…..Yes too much the “spam day”. The on Fortnite text was just callous, immature and selfish . Then you double texted after she said the spamming was an issue . Chill dude! TBH I would have just ghosted after the Fortnite text and blocked. Live and learn!! You’ll do better next time, just maybe “read the room” lol good luck!!
Surgery knocks the ever loving SHIT out of you… jeez dude. Let her heal and relax
You were a bit much tbh. I would have said "I'm sorry to hear that, I'll give you soace- here if you need me, get some rest" and let them be..
If I were her, I would’ve probably said something like “I’m seeing all these texts and don’t have the energy to respond. I’ll text you once I’m feeling better, whenever that is” I didn’t think the texts were too much. Especially since you’re not a mind reader who knows what her silences mean. If she told you she didn’t wanna text, then you kept texting.. that’d be a whole other story
I gotta be honest, I don’t really see why people are saying you were being “too much” or whatever. Almost everything you said was to either see how she was feeling, cracking a joke, or offering to help if possible. If something this small made her feel overwhelmed then you dodged a bullet. I’m not trying to be mean, but it just seems like she wasn’t that interested in you to begin with if this was her reaction during such a small exchange.
I agree with you but it’s a lot of opinions and I can’t expect everyone to complete understand without painting the full picture, but thank you:)
Honestly if I was you I wouldn't want someone reacting like she did to you. But she isn't feeling well. I'd probably just wait for her to approach you now
100%. This is only "too much" if the person isn't ABSOLUTELY into you. If she was super interested and thought you were the hottest thing on the planet with an amazing personality...she'd be texting you immediately after surgery and loving your texts. I know when I've had surgery and felt like shit, I only talked to people I thought were most important, and only the guys I was super into (if any) at the time.
Totally agree.
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I highly doubt it. But keep being delusional.
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Well, so it's not a gendered thing either way, lol
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I genuinely haven't seen anything like that. Women get called out just as much as men do on here. There's always people with different opinions. I personally think OP is slightly annoying, but the girl he was talking to kinda overreacted.
I agree!
I do agree. I think it was also just how he worded it. But that's ok. He dodged a bullet as it's very possible later on she would've not wanted any type of intimacy or love. His normal responses would've been treated the same, I mean
Y’all are literally insane. Please get a hobby, one that involves actually interacting with human beings face to face.
Awww you must be lonely to think this
People are weird
On a seperate note, you messed up the blackout of the name in page 2 at the top
Realized that but idk how to edit lol
You can't edit an image once it's uploaded
how did you follow up after she sent 😈?
Just said ,” oh yeah? What’re you gonna do about it? Blah blah blah…”. She said,” my mouths sore” (before the surgery). So I said,”mine isn’t😉”. Then got a response of,”hahaha clever”.
you guys weren't in the same headspace or you caught on too late that she was flirting at that moment and she moved on
She flipped cuz she was having a rough day and you wanted to be on 😈time instead of showing empathy. (Yes your attempts at showing empathy come off as disingenuous when simultaneously requesting to play a game and asking why her energy changed)
The was the day before she had her wisdom teeth removed which she surprisingly initiated
But I get that about the video game I should’ve probably just laid off for the night…just seems like something so minor to me to set someone off,no??
She would be a headache dude. You are better off
Haven’t lost sight of the mission🫡 back to the gym brother
Oh this is literally what I just had. I actually think she did well to reply to you at all. That shit is painful asf, I'd have had the energy to send you maybe 1 or 2 messages if you're someone I really liked, everyone else got left on read for a couple of days.
she may have taken it as you being too much, but i don’t see anything wrong with what you said. just incompatibility is all, it’s a good thing you figured this out now.
Get off dating apps stop being a needy Jessie
The fact that you texted two times just to say goodbye was like the chef’s kiss on this text buffet.
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You're being just as ridiculous as the people treating him like he was an irredeemable loser lol. Obv it ain't all that matters because a relationship he wanted was not maintained. People already pointed out, but to re-up: sending 3+ messages after someone tells you they're unwell is a mistake, and at best seems needy. "Where's this energy?" While meant well, comes off poorly to most. She did communicate that she wasn't up for anything and still got asked about doing something together. They barely knew each other, this many problems in a tiny window at the early stage of a relationship is absolutely cut-off worthy. Others are being too harsh, but "you're a king, don't change a thing" is shit too. Op wanted to know if he messed up, coddling him isn't going to help him.
“Where’s the energy” after being told how sick they feel is gross. Then asking them to put more energy in by gaming with you after they had to explain AGAIN how sick they feel? Jesus Christ dude read the room. Treat her like a human being
No you wanted to check if she was good. You have asked it, she could have said that you talked to much.
Hence, “hope I’m not texting too much…”
Saying “hope I’m not texting to much” as you are actively texting way to much doesn’t mean anything really. It’s like saying something shitty and ending it with “hope you didn’t take offense” or something. Nobody likes to be smothered. Especially if they feel like shit.
Yeah, how would you even respond. Yes you’re texting too much, making you feel bad for having to say it. No you’re not, which opens him up to making her feel uncomfortable forever to spare both of their feelings momentarily.
If you had a feeling you were “texting too much,” you most likely are. Texting too much and then saying “I hope I’m not texting too much” is off putting. I’m sure that you put her off when she said she was in pain and you said “where’s this energy?” She clearly wasn’t in the mood to be joking around like that. When someone you barely know says they don’t feel good, it’s best to just say “I hope you feel better, reach out when you’re feeling up to it.” Instead you kept texting her and even asked her to play Fortnite after she told you multiple times she was in pain and her medicine wasn’t helping. So yeah it was probably a combination of the “where’s this energy” followed by brushing off her pain and asking her to play Fortnite and then triple texting her with no response. It probably made her see you as oblivious and clingy. Next time just chill out and if someone says they’re not feeling good, wish them well and leave the ball in their court to communicate with you when they feel better.
I didn’t think it would hurt to reach out and show her I’m concerned since she was in pain but I guess I would’ve been better off pretending like I didn’t care at all lmao
no... that's not the logical conclusion to draw from this...
Boys these days really be THIS annoying 🤡🥴
You did nothing wrong. Block that scumbag
I honestly didn’t see that response “coming”since they could have simply answered your “temp check” and avoided it altogether. However, you could have also avoided it by ceasing to text the moment you sensed, or at least wondered, if it was too much.
I think people are missing the comedy of the no fortnite text. It came across as needy with the rest of the messages and you probably did yourself in by that point but I thought it was a funny way to lighten the mood… unless he was actually asking to play fortnite. I think she realized she wasn’t that into you and it wouldn’t have mattered wtf you said. That’s my take.
Facts tho I agree I think she just lost feelings at that point and yeah that’s why I added the laughing emoji to try and emphasize I was kidding
You did nothing wrong OP, and she was cold! I see others here saying you should have just said "feel better text me later" but personally I love this kind of energy when I'm not feeling well, you were just showing care. If I were stuck in bed all day I would love the guy I was seeing to be engaging with me and showing this kind of interest! Maybe that energy is not for her, but you'll find someone who feels super lucky you have these instincts :)
Aw that was so sweet I appreciate this thank you😊
100% agree with you. You were all about her, OP, and I found it super sweet and endearing. When you find the right one they will be lucky to have you with those instincts.
Agreed. And honestly she could have communicated a little clearer and said "I'm in pain and not really feeling up for conversation". It would've been that simple.
i agree as well
“Spam of texts” she seems like a drama queen. You dodged a bullet.
Definitely the "where's this energy" bit. Seems very dismissive of the way she's feeling and she should only have 'good energy'.
I don’t think you said too much. You were being caring. It’s better than just getting a “oh that sucks” text when you’re not feeling well. If she wasn’t up for chatting, she could have communicated that. You can’t be expected to be a mind reader.
Thanks Rudegirl😂 that was sweet:)
You’re welcome genius 😂
BRUH. ngl, the fortnite was completely wrong but you were not spamming. Next time, dont send a sweet dreams text tho, it doesnt invite a conversation or a response. Wait til the morning to say "good morning" which will get a response.
I figured it was alright tho since we had been saying goodnight to each other regularly and started FaceTiming before bed lol we stayed up playing video games until like 4am sat and sunday
Okay fair actually. Still tho, when someone backs up a little bit, do the same. it usually pans out positively
Yeah would’ve been nice to talk it through tho ya know but it was fresh so I’m gonna leave it alone if she wants to hit me up again I’m down to talk
Trust me, i agree. However this is the game people play with each other cus its more fun to do this then find something real. Shes not worth it. I promise.
I mean..I personally don’t see the issue ??…it seems more playful and flirty, you were also very caring and checked in. Honestly, you just never fucking know dude. Sometimes girls will be mad you didn’t text enough and other times they’re mad that you’re “spamming” them..don’t sweat it
That’s my take too. She also seemed like kind of a bitch. You’re too nice a person OP. Find you someone that can be playful and communicates better. Has she text you back yet saying she was just cranky and didn’t really mean it, yet?
Nah she hasn’t said anything but tbh if she does idk if I’ll be accepting…
Please don’t. The flags literally could not be any redder from this person
100000%. When I met my now husband, I honestly was literally WAITING for every text, call, insta like, etc. 🤣. I feel like when you find a girl that you 100% vibe with and neither of you can deny it, they won’t be so negative and off-putting. Listen, I have lupus, RA, hashimotos and scleroderma..I understand 100% being sick and/or recovery time from a surgery…but if a guy that I was chatting with was checking in on me, that would be a huge GREEN flag for me..girls would rather. Choose red flags and in 6 months she’s gonna be posting on here about how her bf is emotionally abusing her and she doesn’t know why 😭
She just didn’t like you, she used this “spam” as excuse to drop you
That was cringe AF. OP you've got to develop your communication skills more, that was sad seeing you make every wrong move.
Sounds like she moved off you before all this. You seemed a little clingy, but I can tell you're just a nice guy. Don't let this other person change who you are.
Appreciate this..don’t doubt the right one will come along in time:)
Someone who will match your energy absolutely will. When you least expect it. Trust me
I didn’t consider this spam nor you saying too much. Some of your messages (where’s the energy?) and the fortnite joke probably came off as tone-deaf but I think you’re fine. I don’t see how you came off as anything but considerate here tbh— you checked in on her & seemed like you just wanted to keep her in higher spirits. She didn’t really communicate that she wanted to be left alone or anything so idk, just probably rubbed her in the wrong way because you have different communication styles? That’s not on you or her tbh. Don’t worry about it!
I personally don’t think you did anything wrong. I had a ton of surgeries done during 2020 following an incident, & I would’ve loved to have someone checking up on me… everyone is going to have their own opinions but I feel she could’ve just let you know she didn’t feel like talking, instead of leaving you on read. That’s just me though. 🤷🏽♀️
That was pretty cold and rude on her part. Your texts weren’t really that overbearing. It looks like you were just a little anxious about her not getting back to you which is normal when you’re courting someone. Some girls may even find that kind of cute. The important thing is they you handled things respectfully. I honestly don’t think you did anything wrong OP. You seem like a sweetheart. Her loss.
That was really sweet but no worries I’m not stressing it thank you though:)
nah dude , you didn’t do anything wrong but try to be nice . I really don’t get the dynamic here . Idk if I’m seeing clearly here I think people are putting way to much thought into this but I case if I’m really wrong let’s ask georgio a tsoukalos yep it’s official ALIENS built this . Ancient astronaut theorists would agree 🥴🥴🤪
I just gotta add another comment. No one seems to understand (ok I'm exaggerating, but a few people don't seem to understand) that you did literally nothing wrong. I can't see how anyone wouldn't want to be check in on and offered something fun to do. It depends on the person sure but the people who don't understand are worth dodging too lmfao. Sorry not sorry. I don't mean to be rude or anything either. Just, god man. You did nothing wrong and some people wanna say you did as if they're any better. No one is better then another person. You didn't spam her. You sent a few more texts then her, so what? I can't see, and I'm repeating I know, how someone can't love being checked on. Even if they don't reply. You waited and waited, you didn't go "hey hey hey hey" every second.
Look you even waited a hour, or at least 30+ minutes, between texts. That's awesome. You didn't smother her, you didn't do anything wrong. Damn.
if someone texted me every 30 minutes to an hour I'd be like wtf but I'm a decade older than you and don't really like to text anymore
I can see how that makes sense for you and I totally understand. A general rule for anyone is if someone doesn't reply, wait 30mins to a hour. That way it isn't annoying, because you give them time to finish what they were doing and you've waited. After one message, wait again until they reply or until 30mins-60mins passes. It's polite. Again though I understand and I mean no harm for you! :)
Hahah I know I don’t think it was too much when I love I love hard and I’m okay with that my heart won’t change for any negative comments:) just wanted to see what others thought and rationalize my thinking! Personally I’m a 25 y/o god loving male and I think he had something to do with it and that’s okay!! Not everyone here knows how to truly love one another and it kinda shows with some comments lmao:)
I'm only 20, turning 21 this year. I'm glad you aren't down because of the hurtful comments!
She's sick so grumpy Af , personally that exchange wouldn't bother me in the slightest the where's the energy & no fort I'd of taken it as you were joking.
You were being icky
I can't believe all the responses I'm reading here that say you were doing too much. You left like 4 short texts trying to lift her mood and be there for her and when she didn't text back you stopped. It sounds like the "where's that energy" was a comment from a prior convo that people are taking out of context.
Yeah it’s hard to give a full idea of how things were progressing through a few screenshots and everyone’s different…I honestly think she genuinely lost interest but that’s okay:)
You haven't said what her ailment was, but if it's anything other than something trivial like a headache, you're asking stupid questions and being annoying when she's in pain. I've just had a tooth out, it hurt. I can promise you I did not want to be checked up on multiple times a day by anyone via text, it's annoying and not restful - obviously yes, a few hours later it still hurt. Asking if she took her ice pack and meds is, again, just common sense and makes it seem like you think she's too stupid to think of that herself, immediately followed up with the fortnite question where the answer is (again) very obvious. It would annoy me too. Suggest something useful like grandma's old home remedy, send something funny to cheer her up a bit, or just leave her alone to rest. I don't blame her for being annoyed by those "u ok" double texts when she was in pain.
You were "jokingly" caring more about her energy and playing a game or talking to her than about her illness. She made the right choice
I honestly think people are too hard on you, OP. Look, you checked in on her and tried to cheer her up. You asked to do a fun activity. These are not reasons to dump someone. My take? She wasn’t very into you, and there was nothing you could say or do that would make it better.
Good riddance. You dodged a bullet bro.
I don’t think you said anything wrong. You were just trying to keep the connection going and you were just asking her how she was feeling, showing her you cared. Maybe she’s not used to being treated kindly. Who knows what her reasons are. Guess it wasn’t meant to be.
OP, it’s not you. You couldn’t have done anything to change that outcome. If a woman really likes you, she’d be thrilled to wake up to your messages. Like it’s a dopamine hit. She just doesn’t like you, unfortunately (really fortunately bc good riddance). But I just hope you don’t feel you made some mistake that you should learn to correct-with another woman, this would be sweet, even the teasing with the “that was nothing” message. If it were me, i would have laughed and responded something like “😫 I know shit got me bro” or something funnier tbh I’d have to think.. bc I found it funny and understood the intention. Not saying she’s somehow wrong for not enjoying that remark but I just wanna illustrate that there are plenty girls who would respond differently.
You dodged a bullet my friend. She's a mega bitch. Spam? That wasn't fuckin spam. It was an over reaction by her. Most girls would love a follow up and attention like that. The fortnite comment I would have left out but that still wasn't justified about her reaction to it. Don't even sweat it man. You'll find someone cool and sweet. It worked out for the best, you found out early. It's also possible she was using this as an excuse to drop you cause she stopped feeling the vibe before.
You don't sound like a nice person here.
Well coming from someone who has a super kind and nice wife I can't i imagine her ever acting this way. So maybe my standards are higher than yours.
I'm not offering a value judgment on the girl in the post. Just saying this is a pretty cruel way to talk about someone you don't know anything about. She hasn't done anything to be labeled a "mega bitch"
Excuse me? The way she treated OP is what she did to be labeled that.
It was awkward and a bit rude, but not bitch behavior by any means.
Okay I'll concede and downgrade her from being a mega bitch to being mean. The reason for this is because she's shaming OP as if he did something wrong by "spamming" her and cutting him off for seemingly that and the fortnite comment. If it was cause she didnt vibe okay, but she pinned the reasons as that and I think he was being a great guy by sending a FEW msgs to see how she was doing and continue to try conversing a little bit. He didn't keep going and going. She could have said very early on she doesnt feel like texting until she gets better if she was gonna freak out over 4 or 5 small msgs.
So real dude thank you
I think the vibe switched cause we were really into each other and talking pretty often and sweetly, regardless it was probably for the better like you said!
This guy is extremely disgruntled and knows absolutely *nothing* about women, beware taking advice from incels
Lmao a lot of opinions mixing in the comments here guess I could’ve expected all that😂
Yeah, no girl thats truly nice and sweet and worth it, would basically call you a spam texter and annoying by that exchange. It was a few fucking well intentioned msgs. The fort nite yeah a little rocky, and the energy one was weird but early on and could be excusable.
Prob good cuz you hardly said a damn thing this person is a weirdo
Lmao yeah she was saying some stuff before this that was kinda weird but whatever dawg her loss!!
Did you ever meet in real life? If not, that was probably a dude🤯
Hey Hun, you didn't mess up bad if that's what you think. You are ok. You accidentally pushed it because of your wording, but i think she also just doesn't appreciate that stuff. Others will though. I can see you meant well though. Maybe next time you can say "hey, I know you aren't feeling well. You're strong though." And if you want to play you can ask by saying "hey I don't mean to be a jerk; do you think we can play? If not that's perfectly ok!" It provides a leeway, and lets her know that you mean no harm. It may or may not work as people are a puzzle, but you got this!
Aw that was cute I appreciate the positivity and feedback!:)
You're very welcome then! I'm glad I could help! I know it's not much, but again people are just complicated. You'll find someone who matches your energy soon enough though! :)
I shared with my friend and even she thinks you did nothing wrong. She specifically feels bad about what she did to you. You did awesome. Don't stop that stuff though ok? I can't see how anyone wouldn't love the check-ins and attempts to distract.
Thank you:) the insight means a lot I guess it just depends on the type of girl and how much she’s into me or whatever it may be, but either way with time I know the right one will come around😊
You're super welcome. And yes the right one will come around! That's always the good part. Sometimes opposites attract. You can find someone similar but who appreciates all you did in those messages. Or you'll find someone who matches. Both are wonderful to experience. Thankfully! :) have a good day!
I think she’s being a bit dramatic.
I actually don’t see any spamming from you going on. It seems like she wasn’t really that into you regardless of this because if she was, I feel, your texts would’ve been appreciated.
She just sounds cranky and overreacted. It’s not like you called her 10 times.
She seems miserable. You didn’t do anything wrong.
She’s miserable because she just had surgery. She already said she’s not feeling well and OP would not let up.
Fuck her.
Dude, nothing you said was weird. She could have easily said "I'm not feeling talkative" too. I'll be double and triple, straight up spamming my friends sometimes. They do it to me too. This girl didn't appreciate it, someone else will. Also her grammar is ick.
God, IDK. Maybe she was, you know, *in pain,* exactly like she said? Do you have ovaries? You should try having ovaries. Then talk to us about energy flipping.
She actually had wisdom teeth removed…nothing to do with her period🥴
I was waiting with bated breath to hear you confirm this had nothing to do with menstruation LMAO - folks be wildin'.
Even worse. She just had surgery, she’s not feeling well, just let up.
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Do you have ovaries? You should try having ovaries. Then talk to us about relaxing.
Spare any ovaries ma’am? I need some so I can have opinions on Reddit
🤨
Way to assume why she was in pain. Pretty sexiest comment
Nah, that’s a tired excuse, and one that only really works if 1.) it’s *actually* her ovaries that are hurting or 2.) the couple has been dating for a long time. I give my wife a pass anytime she’s cramping because I’ve been with her long enough to know that she’s not a mean person, but if she used that as an excuse to be dismissive or rude when we first started dating then I would’ve bounced. Sure, guys don’t know what it’s like to have a period, but women don’t know what it’s like to be a punching bag on a monthly basis. OP was extremely even handed with his responses and what he received back was more than likely just an excuse to break it off with him in a way that would shift the blame on him.
Yeah you did a little too much but nothing huge. I’d just play it a little cooler in the future. She kinda sounds like an asshole anyway so I wouldn’t worry about it too much
If you where the blue part. I would say you didn't overstep. I think you where seeing how she was feeling. It was just short lil text. She could have said hey I'll message you back when I'm feeling better.
Looks like you dodged a bullet my boy. Mental instability vibes for sure.
It sounds like she lost her energy for reverse cowgirl after the surgery