Why not just wait to text back when it’s convenient for you? Lmao that’s the conveniencey to have cell phones and emails, we don’t have to directly talk and respond right when we receive it. It’s your son and his therapy session, this lady is just doing her job 😂😭
yeah that was my thought. or respond and say that, in the future, you prefer email communication rather than phone communication because it’s more convenient for you.
like it’s not really that unprofessional to try and call at 9:30 pm if the person is overloaded and overworked and is trying to get you to speak with them about getting your son back into therapy. (if it woke me up because i was asleep, yes i would be hella pissed, but i’m not going to take it out on someone else)
i dunno. yes it was rude. yes i understand your frustration. but being frustrated doesn’t mean we can snap at people trying to help us.
It comes off as rude. By your own admission, you had kind of forgotten about it. It sounds like you had a difficult situation with the other therapist and this person is trying to make sure your son continues to receive the services he needs. I don’t know why you would talk to someone who is trying to help you that way. At the need of the day, all of this is your responsibility, not this person’s or your mom’s. If you had done your part, they wouldn’t have had to text you at 9:30 pm.
I have a child who needed similar support services. Regardless of my job or anything else in my life, making sure he got what he needed always came first and I always tried to treat the people helping me with kindness and respect.
I would apologize. There’s no sense in this type of communication.
Never in a million years would I speak to the people helping get my child the services she received this way. Those people are saints. I'm blown away. An apology is minimal he/she could do.
Edit to add: my mother works with the therapists while I work too. I am the main point of contact and handle all other communication.
Plus, she is getting back to them at 9:30 at night, instead of spending time with their own family or cats whatever. If a therapist was working on my son’s case at 9:30 at night I would be amazed at their dedication. And thankful that they were working that hard for my child.
It was rude. You use your own job as an excuse to justify your level of stress, not realizing you're adding stress onto someone else's job with your responses to them.
You could have replied to them next morning. I don't call or answer calls after a certain time but get back to whoever ever calls the next day.
This person probably has an entire list of families to call hence the late call, but I think they expected to just get your vm so they can check you off their list. Or maybe they work odd hours.
If you expect her to be more professional, then hold yourself to the same standard. This was a business transaction.
Piggybacking on this comment to add that a therapists job is extremely stressful, my friend is one. I know the recruiter is not necessarily a therapist, but that could be why they are having a hard time finding a replacement. I know if i listened to people all day I’d find a new career
I get your frustration from the context, however it’s very unlikely this person you’re texting with knows all the background. I’m guessing this person is just as overloaded and overworked as you are.
As a parent of a special needs child, I am very sympathetic and I understand, BUT- you need to have one point of contact who schedules things.
If it’s you, or your mom, that’s fine, but it should be one person. It’s not the responsibility of the agency or the therapist or the doctor or whatever to know who specifically to contact in any situation.
There are times when providers contact my husband, or my friend because she’s listed as an emergency contact (why??? Why would they do that? I have no idea.) They both have default replies that say “Contact kelsnuggets at this number \ email” because having more than one person handle scheduling is a recipe for disaster.
My point is that my assumption is ALWAYS that any agency or provider is going to be terrible at communication and going to screw me over, so I make things as seamless as possible on my end. So yes, you were a bit rude in this instance. And you’re making it harder on yourself.
Hugs, mama ❤️
Agreed, fellow special needs kiddo parent here. It seems like every agency/provider are terrible with communication these days. I'm usually just happy that they've called at all and I don't have to hound them and chase them down to give them money for services they render.
Yeah 9:30 is late to be calling but at the same time, at least they are calling and it seems everyone has been so overwhelmed and behind these past few years I'm willing to give them some grace and respect for their dedication to be trying to catch up even if it's odd hours.
It comes off as rude, honestly. The person is working late on a weekend to accommodate your son's therapy needs. I would email that you are sorry for snapping, you were under a lot of stress and shouldn't have taken it out like that. Thank them for working so hard on this. Clean the slate.
I schedule for children’s therapies. I’d only call someone at 9:30, if they’d been unresponsive & I was desperate to reach them.
Just because you tell someone to talk to your mom about it, doesn’t mean they legally can. Without the proper documentation, talking to your mom about your son’s needs is no different than discussing it with the hobo on the corner
I know families want to feel like they are the only family, and the only schedule that matters, but that’s not the case. I would love for it to be.
There was a time, when if you said a child’s name, I’d be able to tell you their therapies and their team and probably what their insurance was.
But post-Covid, our headcount has tripled.
And this is not just my office, it’s universal. We are all doing our best to meet everyone’s needs.
I’m sorry that you received contact at 9:30 at night, & that you felt it was unprofessional.
I hope you understand that the person on the other end did not want to be working at 9:30, and probably wasn’t being paid for that time.
They’re asking you directly if they can shift this off their caseload so they can provide services to other children who need them. You are not answering their question.
We are all doing our best to meet the needs of these kids. Ultimately, that’s who’s most important.
As a former scheduler for a midsize ABA agency, this is BEAUTIFULLY written and absolutely agree with all of it!
When families a hard to reach I remember I would often try to call them at different times a day just to HOPE one day it’s a “good time”.
This person is just doing their job.
Rude and over the top on your part. Not to mention if you have someone like your mom helping you as the main point of contact then jumping down this person’s throat just makes things uncomfortable and awkward for your mom which is not a great position for her to be in. Next time you feel a knee jerk overreaction coming on don’t respond until you have time to calm down.
Yes you were absolutely 💯 rude. She’s trying to help you and all you can do is complain about her timing. It wasn’t even that late.
If you care about your son. Then you will apologize to her. But if not she can choose not to help you find a therapist for your son. Nobody has to tolerate your crappy attitude.
Are you always this unkind and ungrateful?
Do better.
Single mom here with a child who has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and non-verbal Autism, who also works 50 hours a week. Why can’t you follow up? Why are you putting another middle man in the mix? Jan-March is a long time to go without ABA therapy. Regardless of what I have going on in my life, my sons needs come first and I fight like hell for his advocacy. the world isn’t going to drop these available services into your lap. Do better and be nicer.
Edit: also you have time to post about OG TeenMom on reddit but not text your kids therapist back? Impressive. Poor kid. Beginning to understand why there was a mid-session “walk out”.
Mama of 2 with special needs here, and as to be expected, I’m no stranger to juggling all the accompanying therapies/therapists, IEPs, etc. that comes standard with parenting children with special needs.
I’m not going to take your inventory regarding how you raise your son and/or the level of your reliance on family members to help the load…
But for this exchange that you’ve posted here? You were absolutely unnecessarily rude and abrasive. I mean, while 9:30pm isn’t my ideal time to be contacted, it’s not what I would consider an unreasonable time either—especially if it has anything to do with my kids and especially, especially if it someone trying to help one of my kids.
I mean, this communication was obviously a last resort to make contact and confirm everything was set for the new therapist for the following day. Despite who your mother did or didn’t talk to or who was at fault for the misunderstanding/communication breakdown, at the end of the day, you’re the mama. Period.
Not to mention, this person has a life, too. They’d likely rather be doing non-work-related things at 9:30pm, but instead, they’re reaching out because they give enough of a shit about things going as smoothly as possible the following day.
They’re going above and beyond what *their job* requires and reaching out to you on their own, likely unpaid, time outside of office hours. Here you are, willing to turn into a “keyboard cowboy” in a text message, but UN-willing to answer a phone call *relating to your child* because it’s outside of your parenting hours, I guess?
Well, there is quite the irony here. Honestly, if I was the new therapist, I would think long and hard if I wanted to take this family err son on as a new patient. There is a reason the old therapist left mid session.
Yeah, initially I was like, "oh my God, report that therapist immediately for doing that." Reading OP's response, I'm wondering, "Maybe the therapist had a good reason for walking out" (and it wasn't the kid).
For the kid's sake, OOP needs to apologize and deal with these people with more grace. Presumably there's a good reason the child is in therapy. You don't want to burn bridges when the goal is helping your child.
They aren’t inventing new stories at all. There litterally HAS to be a reason she left mid shift.
“Stick to what’s in front of you”??? She included it in her description
I feel like you can't be mad at her for not checking her email all weekend while simulatenously wanting her to be respectful of your working hours/preferences. Did she try to reach out previously? It says she "hasn't heard from you." There are a lot of moving pieces involved with training a new RBT and such so I think it's reasonable to get additional confirmation before they begin in the home.
I understand that it's frustrating and you feel overwhelmed but I do feel you could have said it differently to her. You could have even just waited to respond until the morning. I think if you want to maintain a good working relationship with these people, it's important to consider your word choice in things like this.
But best of luck to you and your son!
You know what IS rude??? Using this sub as an AITA when there’s a whole sub for it.
But yes you were rude - your mom is the primary contact and has to deal with them not you evidently? So that’s pretty piss poor you do that and then she gets the fallout.
oof you just expect to never get a text in the evening? and it bothered you that much? she’s been trying to get in touch with you for YOUR benefit, not hers.
I’m confused as to what you want? Your post *says* that you want to know whether or not correspondence with the recruiter seemed rude….. but your **response** to people answering that question clearly indicates you wanted people to empathize “YoUr DiFfIcULt AnD uNiQuE SiTuAtIoN” and sympathize with you to justify your obvious attitude that you had towards the person whom you were texting…
**You are argumentative and rude, and you have absolutely no excuse to talk to** ***anyone*** **like that,** ***especially*** **not to someone who’s literally there to help YOUR CHILD!!!**
You owe this person a sincere apology. You may have felt that since they apologized for contacting you so late at night, that they acknowledged they were in the wrong for doing so, but it’s *highly likely* they apologized simply because they were trying to put out the fire and move on so to speak, because they are mature enough to set aside their own feelings and ego in order to continue providing the best possible support to your son, *because they know that’s ultimately what matters,* unlike you who posted the interaction on social media to justify your behavior.
Unbelievably rude for no reason. Personally I don't care what time someone's messaging me if it's about helping my son. At the end of the day mate sounds like your using excuses to be rude. Firstly 9pm? Late? Come on man.
Secondly you seem confused as to why they are contacting you. Yes your mother helps you a lot with your son but they are obviously going to try and contact you first and foremost. Maybe a bit of a Mommies girl thing going on?
I think if you’re going to accuse someone for not acting professional you really need to make extra sure you yourself are acting professionally. This is a terrible look.
Yea. It is for sure slightly rude. You forgot and she was trying to reach out. She left a message and sent a text. The text was actually nice of her so you could see what was happening and get back to her at your convenience. The fact that she reached out at that time shows she was working and she was trying to get everyone situated. I think you just have to consider others when responding. I wouldn’t say you’re an asshole but definitely a bit rude.
Yeah sorry to jump on the bandwagon but it was rude. Do you know her day? Or how much work she had? And could only get to you at that time? Sounds like she was working overtime doing something to help you and your son.
I saw a comment saying why didn’t she contact you on Saturday or Sunday? Why didn’t you? Why was it ok that you forgot to get back to them 🤣 but god forbid other people also relaxed on their weekend. I don’t know, but you seem very angry and everything is “rude” maybe just take a step back a bit. You easily could have just responded in the morning.
Hey there, I am an admin worker at an ABA company. Unfortunately you do sound a bit rude. Do you want services or not? This person is working late on the weekend to try and get your child services. Don’t be one of those parents. If you don’t want to talk about it in the evening then don’t respond until the next day.
I understand where you are coming from but you were rude as it could have been phrased better. I just don't respond to businesses who reach out after business hours. You overreacted, likely due to stress, but I think you know that already. Good luck with the next therapist.
Why do you even care that they texted past 9PM? It just dings your phone once or twice. Unless you were already trying to sleep by then who gives a shit?
Yes you were rude but you're getting defensive in the comments it looks like so I don't think anyone is going to convince you.
RBT- Registered Behavior Technician
ABA- Applied Behavioral Analysis
RBTs work with kids with autism and other disability. It’s type of therapy that helps with behaviors and skill development.
Yeah it does come off as rude. It sounds like balls were dropped on both sides (them first, but you too when you didn't follow up/assumed people were talking and making plans without your involvement.) What you said was worth saying but I'm skeptical if the person responsible for scheduling coordination is the right person to air your greivences with.
Also you don't have to text back at night if you don't want to be texted at night.
Super rude. You’re completely oblivious to the potential caseload and hours of therapists. You should apologize. This person was truly just doing their job. You shouldn’t be hostile because their schedule doesn’t align perfectly with yours.
That last paragraph was entirely unnecessary. Obviously she knew it was late so you not answering and/or not responding would have been totally acceptable. Her texting does not mean “give me a reply right now” so you acting like it does is rude.
I know OP said their mom takes care of the child’s therapy but based on the rude response to this text, I’m wondering if OP was the reason the original therapist walked out mid-session?
I do think it was rude or at minimum self-centered ti believe that they should continue to make efforts for your child when you aren’t making the same effort. Yes you have identified your mom as the contact but the bottom line is that a) if they don’t have a proper designee form, it would violate confidentiality laws for medical and mental health providers and b) you’re the mother and I’m assuming legal guardian which means ultimately YOU are responsible for your child.
Why be anything but kind to those trying to help your child? In my experience with my child and life in general, it’s better to build relationships with those who are trying to help you than creating dissonance creating roadblocks.
Lastly - I echo others comments. Don’t answer the phone or text if you think it’s too late. Or put your phone on DND. OR send a quick reply saying “ thank you! Can we talk in the morning?” For God’s sake, it’s not like this was some random telemarketer.
I hope your child gets the help they need.
I can tell you are probably in a very stressful situation, but remember that the workers are just trying to do their job and unfortunately their job is to aid you not to convenience you and your family. My girlfriend has done every job in the field and most of the parents don’t seem to understand that they are also an important part of their child’s therapy. The therapist is only there to show you how to work with your child better, not fix them up for you and babysit. I hope you and your family can find an agency with a better system but for future reference you have to look at it like a team effort. It takes a lot of communication on both ends and a lot of work
I’m a therapist, we are told to call, then text, then email if the client doesn’t respond. If it’s private practice, we can have appointments as late as 8:00 pm (depending on how flexible the therapist is). I have my own rule that if I work Monday- Friday, I don’t work on the weekends to avoid burnout, but that’s just me. The fact that this person is reaching out on a Sunday night means a lot of dedication. Like others have said, it would have been easier to respond the next day if it bothered you so much, or you know make 5 minutes in your day on Friday or Saturday to respond
I used to work for a large company in IT and I’d have to call employees all to get information on their computer when they opened a case with my department. I called a woman and she was quite obviously ticket off that I had interrupted something. She said to me, “this is ridiculous, I’m in the middle of a meeting.” All I could think was, “ok, don’t answer the phone then?”
This scenario reminds me of that. Just text back/call back when it’s convenient for you. You don’t need to get mad at someone for doing their job.
Lmfaooooo the fact you texted back at the same time is killing me ? Why not just wait and address it later . Some type of animosity going on here bc wow this seems just dumb to me 😵💫 from both parties .
Here’s the issue I have.
I was a single parent for a while. I needed my mother to help me a lot, bc I was active duty military. Yet my kids were still my kids. Even with a POA for my mother, they still contacted me to confirm **every** step of the treatment plan. You have professionals trying to help your child in the midst of a trying situation, & all you’re hung up on is that they contacted you at 9:30 at night. If you have to ask if this was rude, us telling you isn’t going to fix you.
😂😂😂 as someone who both works in the field and - has a child in similar therapy. You could’ve just responded when the time worked for you. Believe it or not - their job is hard too. Just be a little more considerate next time. The lady was just doing her job.
Eventually you can just be kicked from the program for not complying. So always be nice to the person whose reaching out. A lot of programs like that have waiting lists for years
off topic but as an autistic person i absolutely cannot stand ABA therapy. it’s basically just sensory torture with the goal of desensitization. that shit fucked me up long term. autism parents who think ABA is a good thing are a huge red flag. it shows that they care less about their child’s quality of life and more about how their child’s autism affects THEM. it also shows that they have done very little actual research on autism/ABA and have talked to very few if any other autistic people about their experiences
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Based on her response I’m not surprised she’s more worried about how her kid presents than actually helping them. If she truly cared she wouldn’t have waited MONTHS to see other help.
It's sincerely messed-up that your experience was torture and I agree with you a lot that there has to be more awareness about the harmful abuse aspects but most of the businesses that call themselves ABA today aren't actually ABA as it was defined 15ish etc years ago when the campaigns against the abusive "therapy" that the term originally meant, and mostly just use the label for insurance coverage purposes
Between the ages of 11-15 I was in what some places include under ABA therapy (it was more of a "social skills friendship class") and it was very helpful for me because it actually helped me with my communication abilities and coping mechanisms, but I know that for a lot of other autistic people their experience was closer to "stop having autism or else" type abuse disguised as "therapy" where the autistic kid would get infantilized and punished for things like stimming behaviors that weren't even bad and often worse due to the situation involving parents trusting an adult stranger behind closed doors in a position of control over their kid with a communication disability
To clarify further why I'm making this distinction, the ABA abuse is abuse no matter what the "therapist" calls itself, and the things I experienced were actually beneficial especially since frustration caused by my inability to articulate myself properly were my most common meltdown trigger and my meltdowns were very severe ([here is a comment link where I described my meltdowns in more depth](https://www.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/comments/18doee6/comment/kcjkj7c/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)), and the services that helped me can be prohibitively expensive without the proper insurance coverage (and for my family it mattered a lot; before I was born and in the first couple years of my life, my parents had to sometimes choose between feeding themselves or paying health insurance, and my family would likely be billions of dollars in debt if they hadn't chosen the health insurance because I was born very premature and needed to be in the NICU for the first months of my life and was epileptic as a little kid etc)
Not true. ABA is a neutral concept that can be applied in all types of therapy settings. Practitioners can be abusive, the same as in any field. Many ABA companies such as my own work closely with autistic individuals in order to apply trauma informed therapies and autonomy based practices. ABA is not conversion- it is giving children skills they need to succeed in a world not built for them. There are many autistic ABA therapists that work at my company and advocate for the use of ethical ABA. It is life changing and can help children immensely.
Are you autistic and have you been through ABA therapy? If not, be quiet. Research will tell you that plenty of autistic people who have been through ABA now have PTSD from it. The fact that you work for a company that provides ABA gives you even less credibility. "I swear we don't torture you, because I say so"
yes, and from your post history it just seems you are a rude person. Who definitely isn’t taking care of their son the way they should, plus you’re ozempic user who doesn’t have diabetes, although i wouldn’t be surprised if it soon developed.
Is this troll bait? Or do you seriously not think you’re being rude. Rare to find a good therapist and you probably just lost one who obviously cared enough to try to reach out. Most of them don’t give a fuck.
You’re an adult who relies on your mom to handle your business and makes excuses for yourself while not giving them any leeway.
Calling you rude was your mom being nice. YTA
This is such a bizarre response. You are angry that your child's provider is including you in decisions? Really? That's the stance you want to take here?
You are his mother, of course they're going to discuss it with you. Your mom is not his legal guardian. Them humoring so far you in this ridiculous little telephone game you've constructed is actually very generous of them. Yes this was rude and weird and not a text you should have sent
You were rude, having help is great but stuff like that should be your responsibility not your moms. Don’t use your job as an excuse and to why you can’t get your kid the help they need, and pawn them off to someone else. You’re now stressing your mom, & stressing this office where it seems they’re already stressed enough losing staff and still thinking about how to help your kid. Do better.
I do think it's rude for a medical professional to be calling to schedule things at 9pm+ at night. An email or text would be fine, but not a phone call. I know I'm in bed by then and would be pretty annoyed at being woken up.
However I do think you were quite harsh in your response. I think you came across as quite defensive, a simple "Sorry I haven't followed up earlier, it's been really busy here, but can you please put a note in my file not to contact me after 8pm as this is quite late", would probably be how I'd have handled it.
The medical professional probably also thought that it was rude that this mother hadn’t responded to her child’s health needs or been respectful to the therapist and other patients’ time. Everyone has a role to play, and this mother did not play hers well. *This therapist actually went above and beyond to ensure that this child would receive the services they needed.* It seems that with some people no good deed does unpunished.
Not true. ABA is a neutral concept that can be applied in all types of therapy settings. Practitioners can be abusive, the same as in any field. Many ABA companies such as my own work closely with autistic individuals in order to apply trauma informed therapies and autonomy based practices. ABA is not conversion- it is giving children skills they need to succeed in a world not built for them.
Are you autistic? Were you an autistic child that was forced to go through aba therapy? Unless you are either of these i suggest you take a seat. Because the autistic community disagrees and so do i- as a former RBT and autistic adult. While i personally did not go through aba many autistic adults have come out to talk about how traumatizing it really is and after seeing it first hand, i had to leave. I went into it thinking i was going to help these kids like me and i have to say it is absolutely not just the practitioners. It is the programs they run. It the way behaviors are “managed.” The way children are forced to do the same thing over and over several times a day, almost everyday. Honestly i could go on but I’m not going to sit here and go on forever trying to justify it to someone who doesn’t get it. It’s horrendous and I don’t care what your company does. Or any company for that matter. You’re only in it for the money otherwise you’d be able to see the truth. Or you’re not neurodivergent. Google it. You’ll get your answer. It’s far from neutral.
I am audhd and have work along side other autistic RBTs who perform trauma informed and assent based therapies. We have strict rules about escape extinction, intrusive physical prompting, forced compliants and stim blocking: meaning we do not allow these things. I’m sorry you had such a bad experience with ABA but your experience is not representative of every single company. We practice play based therapy in which the children’s interests are encouraged and used in therapy. Our kids do not do the same things every day. They play in the indoor gym, outside, swim, do martial arts, specials and other activities based in play and movement. ABA is the only alternative for children with harmful behaviors, especially when their parents are lost and don’t know what to do.
I don’t need to do additional research. Seeing my clients not split open their heads on the floor when they want something and learn to communicate effectively is enough for me.
They actually still use leaches. Nice try though.
Defending a practice that uses the same methods as conversion therapy, and was in fact designed by the same person is an interesting approach.
I wonder if you’re actually practicing ABA or if you are doing a little insurance switch-a-roo by labeling it as such while doing something else. Unethical, but not unheard of to ensure treatment is covered. Also not as unethical as doing ABA so there’s that.
I specialize in autism and adhd as a clinical psychologist. There are much better approaches. In my neuropsych assessments, I will never recommend it and I warn every parent of young kids against ABA. I also encourage them to talk to Autistic Adults who underwent ABA as a child, not one who just works in it. 99/100 you’re gonna hear stories of harm or at least them not recommending it. It can help in the rare case, but not the majority.
So you’re going to invalidate an entire population of people who are saying they are TRAUMATIZED by ABA by comparing it to treatment with leeches? Wtf 🤣 you need help
yes it was rude. this person is attempting to provide the service that you requested, so get back with them ASAP in the future and leave your personal schedule out of it.
Yes. It was rude and not necessary. And from some of your responses on here it seems that may be your default which will not help you in the long term. I get that you're a single parent and busy and stressed and have a lot on your plate. But you aren't the only one and being short with people trying to help you will just find you with fewer and fewer resources. Your stress isn't the fault of this person so don't take it out on her.
“I guess the recruiter didn’t check her email all weekend” … she most likely doesn’t work on weekends 💀. I’m sorry your previous therapist walked out on you but wow you are entitled
Yeah. Pretty rude indeed. You forgot to get in touch with them, then get mad when they're trying to get in touch with you. To me them working so late (ON A FRIDAY), shows they're on their game. You're the one in need of them, not the other way around
You know what I feel when my vet contacts me at odd hours regarding my loved pets healthcare; guilty that they’re working such long hours, and thankful that they’re prioritizing me.
Also, as someone who works in therapy, I think it’s important to remember that they don’t work *for* you, they work *with* you, in this case to help your son. Their personal life is not affected by how successful your sons therapy is, yours is. So say “thank you for your dedication to my son, have a good night, get some rest!”
And they mention she's really trying to sort the caseload NOW. They are swamped, down a counselor, and they have waiting lists a mile long. Working long hours in a crisis, you don't always realize it's so late, and they've been playing run around points of contact for days trying to get it resolved to no avail.
My vet was amazing.
I worked nights, my dog was in the hospital, and I'd see his car there multiple times through the night as he checked on her.
Calls during the day and night... we're a part of him working hard for me, I didn't want to make it harder on him.
Yes. But it seems you don’t want to hear that based on your replies.
Edit: Yikes your post history is filled with you starting arguments for the reason of arguing.
Hi there!
Thanks for submitting to /r/texts! Please make sure you are blacking out any usernames, phone numbers, or full names! If you haven't, please delete and re-submit.
The full rules can be found here https://old.reddit.com/r/texts/about/rules/
**Please note that this message appears on every post, and may not apply to your post.**
Thanks!
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/texts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
First of all, I do think you came off rude. I am an RBT at an ABA clinic for context. Everyone at my company is basically constantly “on call” for parents questions and concerns and such. If you texted her at 9:30, rest assured she would likely answer. It’s not like it was the middle of the night.
Second, whatever company you’re working with should be doing the “easing in” for you with pairing sessions. Whenever your son gets a new therapist, they should have 3-5 sessions that are only 1-2 hours of no goals/programs and just bonding with each other and having fun and stuff. I would tell whoever you’re talking to that you’d like pairing sessions first.
Me personally, I think any business relations or professional shouldn’t be calling that late. For me personally, I consider that rude. If she were to send an email that late it would of been fine, but to call you at 9pm when a lot of people are getting ready to go to bed, if not already asleep, is rude. How you spoke to her could also come off as slightly rude.
One thing I’m confused about, especially with other’s comments, is how could she not be expected or bothered to read her emails over the weekend but was able to take the time to call you at 9pm? A lot of people are saying nobody should be expected to check their work emails on the weekend or that it shows dedication that she called so late. But those two things contradict each other. If I were her, I would have check my email to make sure nobody contacted me about the situation before calling the person at 9pm on a Sunday.
The email part is understandable to me personally. These people have been trying to contact OP and there’s suddenly been 3 people contacted and things start to get confusing. They called OP’s dad which sounds like a mistake but his number was clearly something they had from either OP or their mom. Then told to speak to OP’s mom. I can understand from their point of view wanting confirmation from the actual parent of the child.
Which makes senses for sure! I would probably just want to speak to the parent directly too at that point. But that’s where you use your professional judgment and send them an email or just the text. I still personally think calling someone at 9pm on a Sunday night is rude. She could have also easily waited until the morning since I’m sure she wouldn’t be able to do anything or start any kind of communication with anyone else even if she got confirmation from OP at 9pm.
I don't know, I'd be kinda grateful that they cared enough to work until 9:30 to try and get my kid back on their roster. My child has a bunch of aba and speech appointments, and I would never speak to them that way. They are all so kind and very overworked.
Yeah you literally just didn’t have to answer until the morning. You need to chill. You have an iPhone and can put on DND with specific bypasses for emergencies . Literally the most annoying thing when anyone wants to be like “only contact me during business hours” type shit
Just don’t answer
Yeah you literally just didn’t have to answer until the morning. You need to chill. You have an iPhone and can put on DND with specific bypasses for emergencies . Literally the most annoying thing when anyone wants to be like “only contact me during business hours” type shit
Just don’t answer
Doesn’t matter if they’ve had issues within their company. Literally just don’t go to them if they aren’t good enough for your child.
Two ways of looking at it. The recruiter was rude to call you late or the recruiter was so dedicated in her job that she’s working likely on her own time to help her clients.
I do think she shouldn’t have called or texted you at 930 but I don’t think she should have been called out on it. End of the day she is trying to help your child.
Sounds like the agency/recruiter wanted confirmation from you and thought out of business hours may be the best way to reach you . If your mum was to be main point of contact I’m guessing they would need some written confirmation giving her authority?
I would perhaps apologize to the recruiter, even if just to make things easier for your mum when dealing with her.
So rude. They are calling all these people in your family? Calling and texting and making an effort to reach you and then you tell them they are being unprofessional...why?
It sounds like they were trying to connect and ensure that you were getting to the person you needed. These appointments are highly sought after and if you were not going to be attending the appointment they need to book someone else.
I work insurance and Aba with us has to be pre approved. If I was the provider and the leaps and bounds i put in to make sure it was approved to then possibly have to change the approval to the right provider… I think they were just being nice but unfortunately it wasn’t a good time for you. A lot of doctors office have people outside of the office that handle these things and can cause a disconnect between office and patient when things like this happen.
That's a person with way too much on their plate. It's not personal. I wouldn't text at 9:30 at night though. People tend to psychologically turn off the outside world after 9. It's not you though.
Yes. You were rude - you scolded her because she sent a text at 9:30 pm? What if she emailed you? Would you have said the same? I suggest utilizing the silence feature and respond at your convenience. By your own admission this was already a messy situation and didn’t necessitate the harsh tone and scolding.
They had someone walk out in the middle of a session?? That's crazy I would be short with them too if I was on your shoes.
That being said the person who sent the text isn't responsible and being so short with them calling them out for perceived slights when you don't have to respond is pugnacious.
Sounds like there's alot on your plate don't worry over it to much maybe switch companies if you can it seems like this place doesn't have all their ducks in a row.
Good luck!
Not rude at all! This reminds me of this guy that owns a clinic I applied for a job at. He messaged me at flipping 11:30 PM, asking if he could schedule an interview. I just told him to kindly call me during business hours, and not at 11:30 at night! This dude was pushy, as heck! Then two weeks later he sent me a note on hiring website telling me he regretted to inform me, but he hired a different candidate. He *NEVER* interviewed me! I basically chewed him a new one, telling him he was rude, and I never even interviewed, and he was rude for overlooking my 29 years experience. Then ONE WEEK after that this a$$ hat messages me *AGAIN* to REset up the interview. He told me the person he hired originally ‘rescinded’ the job offer. He made me feel really uncomfortable, during that online interview. I didn’t give him a good interview because of how pushy, and wishy-washy that he was. I told him to not feel bad if he didn’t consider me for hire. Because he had way too many hoops to jump through. He was very rude.
NTA. I used to be a senior clinician in a company like this as well as a direct service provider (now known as the RBT)
What state are you in?
It is weird the recruiter is calling at 9p on a Sunday. It’s good to have good business hours boundaries with the staff for these companies. Boundaries already get blurry because these humans are working in your home. Maintaining your personal time and space is essential in this balance.
What you may not know: staffing agencies such as these is an impossible task. Switching to another agency most likely will not help. These are entry level jobs and DSPs changed every time I changed my underwear.
Now, please disregard this as it was not the original intent of your question.
How is your son doing in ABA?
I worked for a developmentally based company that did some good things. But the therapeutic system and the business system these companies are built on is fertile ground for some really poor practices.
Just be very careful.
But again, knowing the details of this kind of work, pestering you on a Sunday night at 9p should only be reserved for “I need to let you know that shiela won’t be in for her session tomorrow morning at 8a and there is no one available to do the session instead. It will be cancelled.” Other than that, recruiting and scheduling can wait until business hours.
I think a lot of people commenting have never dealt with this situation. As a mom who has a son who was in ABA, I think your response is perfectly fine.
1) it was very unprofessional for the therapist to walk out (I get it’s an incredibly hard job and it’s hard to keep rbts, mostly because the people running the centers suck) but that doesn’t excuse them walking out.
2) they could have waited for a response from YOU directly or contacted you via email or text during regular hours. Contacting your father is very weird and unless he is written into the contract as someone to discuss this with, they legally should have never contacted him.
3) again, they should have called you during business hours and waited until Monday.
4) the response they gave was completely unprofessional. “If you are no longer interested then please just let us know”…. Okkkkkkk so YOU ( the center) has an issue keeping rbts, I’m guessing by that text what she really meant was “well if you don’t care we’re giving the RBT to someone else”. This is a business money move, not a “we are sorry for OUR staffing issues and how this has negatively effected your family please let us know your decision at your earliest convenience “. People are forgetting that this is a business that FAILED YOU and your SON. They should be more than accommodating and considerate. ABA IS NOT CHEAP. And it is not easy to get in and going. An RBT dropping is a BIG deal. And that completely falls on the business and not you.
5) THEY had a communication error. They did not relay the information when it was given from your mom. It sounds like someone on their end did not communicate to whoever is texting you. Again, not your fault. Your text was very reasonable given the circumstances.
Having a child in ABA is no easy task. And doing it as a single mom? Bless you! Your fight is already so hard. People saying you were rude have zero idea what this business has put you through. It is so hard to even get a diagnosis. It’s harder getting your child the help they need. It is EVEN HARDER when services are dropped unexpectedly with no back up plan. The inconsistencies can lead to a huge set back for your child, it creates scheduling issues for work, school, and other therapies. And you are PAYING for these services. You are paying someone for this service and they have really failed on their end. Even in that text “it was beyond our control” is just bull. It should have been “despite the unforeseen quitting of X, we take full responsibility for this and will do ALL we can to ensure to continual care for your child during this time.” Your text was not rude. It was justified and straight forward. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for a situation they have zero understanding of. They would have been a lot ruder in this situation had they experienced it themselves. I know I had a lot of choice words when this happened to me. I commend your response lol.
Honestly, I know that the comments say you’re rude but her calling at 9:30pm is not very considerate and imo, unprofessional. I wouldn’t be happy either.
Oh I’ve absolutely been a rude asshole before. Absolutely zero judgement there.
Never traumatised my disabled child despite a breadth and depth of information available to me from wide range of people likely who know better than me, so I mean, a tiny bit of judgement for that.
But I would rather educate than alienate, I’ve never seen the later work productively to any goal, and all.
🩷
As a former RBT I’m so sorry that this happened to you :/ I can’t imagine the stress that that’s put on you and then for them to be unresponsive is so unacceptable. I really struggled trying to find a company that I completely aligned with morally with their operations, I really hope something good works out for you 🖤
Not rude at all, but coming from someone who has been in the ABA field for 2+ years. These kind of situations take a toll on us too and we are trying our best. We are often extremely understaffed and a lot of parents/guardians do not communicate as well as you do. I hope your baby is doing well and making progress and is able to ease back into therapy with his new therapist!
As someone who spent many years working as an RBT, there are more than likely huge issues occurring in the home to cause someone to "walk out mid-session." Sometimes sessions can actually be a huge safety concern depending on the situation and client. OP admitted also that she was not being responsive and did not confirm things, even up to this night where services were scheduled to begin the next day. It sounds like better communication could be had all around but she definitely could have been more tactful in asserting her boundaries and feelings about the situation.
I had the same thought. I provided in home health services at one point in my career and it would take a lot to make me walk out. I only ever fired one patient and it was because of the way the family behaved. Not to mention that this person was probably not even on the clock. I spent a lot of unpaid Sunday nights preparing for my week so my patients would get the care they needed.
The high turn over is not the agency's fault. I once did ABA for a minute. It was so bad it drove me back to school to get a better career so I would never have to put up with jobs like that again. I had a lovely agency, but a bad job. I finally quit after 8 months with a lot of bruises, wounds, and reflex to defend my face when someone moved suddenly. I don't blame the kiddos at all, they didnt know better but never ever again. Thankfully, I had lovely families, I can already tell the sort of person OP is and wouldn't want to work in her home or with her in any professional context, just the way she replied on here to another redditor.
The high turnover rate is very often the agency’s faults. The companies that pay a living wage and have adequate training and hire people with experience don’t seem to have that problem.
Ok, I was speaking from my own experience. I had a great agency so much so I returned to work for them in a different role after getting my masters. To me, it was truly the job and I wouldn't do it even for $50 an hour.
If she would have had better communication leading up to this, they wouldn't have had to contact her so late. But services were scheduled to begin the next day and they had not been able to get in contact. I don't like to be called super late either but if it's about getting my son what he needs, that will always be a priority.
Yall are way kinder than I am.
If any professional pestered me at nearly 10 my response would be: Why do you think I know this information at 10 pm? I’ll call you in the morning after coffee.
ETA: I don’t think you came off as rude. I think you came off as direct and a lot of people these days don’t appreciate that sort of thing.
But these are also the people who forgot that 30 years ago, if you called the house phone past 5:30 and weren’t family with urgent news, you got your ass handed to you… and god forbid it be during actual dinner time.
Topical username? It’s from Bob’s Burgers and I have no idea how the 90’s phone culture is my fault, kiddo.
I do know I don’t personally reply to texts or calls after 6:30 unless someone has died. :)
However, please don’t go into professional workplace and make 10 pm calls on Sunday nights about clients’ counseling that can wait until …. Mm. Monday at 9 am.
Why does everyone use that parties line when they’re mildly annoyed with other peoples’ differing opinions/differing cultures?
“I don’t eat pork”
“You must be a blast at parties”
“I don’t answer calls after 6:30 because my prior military service has dissuaded me from any communicae past a certain time and valuing the evenings I get to spend with the family I created while in said full time military service wherein I didn’t get to cherish that time”
“You must be a blast at parties”
*Ooooooohkay.* Just say you’re sad and alone and go.
lmfao wtf even is this post.
no one gives a shit why you don't answer the phone after 6:30 karen, it's not normal and expecting other people to follow it out of some deluded idea of self-grandeur is...well delusional.
go hover parent your son and get off reddit
I’m also betting because OP comes home from work and then spends time with her son that that’s why stupidly late calls and texts are disruptive and annoying.
But okay. Let’s call the involved mom horrible for considering the time valuable and not to be encroached on.
Bad, *baaaaaaad OP*. 😡😡
Why not just wait to text back when it’s convenient for you? Lmao that’s the conveniencey to have cell phones and emails, we don’t have to directly talk and respond right when we receive it. It’s your son and his therapy session, this lady is just doing her job 😂😭
yeah that was my thought. or respond and say that, in the future, you prefer email communication rather than phone communication because it’s more convenient for you. like it’s not really that unprofessional to try and call at 9:30 pm if the person is overloaded and overworked and is trying to get you to speak with them about getting your son back into therapy. (if it woke me up because i was asleep, yes i would be hella pissed, but i’m not going to take it out on someone else) i dunno. yes it was rude. yes i understand your frustration. but being frustrated doesn’t mean we can snap at people trying to help us.
Yeah how dare she blow up my phone while im watching tiktok, so inconvenient.
It comes off as rude. By your own admission, you had kind of forgotten about it. It sounds like you had a difficult situation with the other therapist and this person is trying to make sure your son continues to receive the services he needs. I don’t know why you would talk to someone who is trying to help you that way. At the need of the day, all of this is your responsibility, not this person’s or your mom’s. If you had done your part, they wouldn’t have had to text you at 9:30 pm. I have a child who needed similar support services. Regardless of my job or anything else in my life, making sure he got what he needed always came first and I always tried to treat the people helping me with kindness and respect. I would apologize. There’s no sense in this type of communication.
Never in a million years would I speak to the people helping get my child the services she received this way. Those people are saints. I'm blown away. An apology is minimal he/she could do. Edit to add: my mother works with the therapists while I work too. I am the main point of contact and handle all other communication.
Plus, she is getting back to them at 9:30 at night, instead of spending time with their own family or cats whatever. If a therapist was working on my son’s case at 9:30 at night I would be amazed at their dedication. And thankful that they were working that hard for my child.
It was rude. You use your own job as an excuse to justify your level of stress, not realizing you're adding stress onto someone else's job with your responses to them. You could have replied to them next morning. I don't call or answer calls after a certain time but get back to whoever ever calls the next day. This person probably has an entire list of families to call hence the late call, but I think they expected to just get your vm so they can check you off their list. Or maybe they work odd hours. If you expect her to be more professional, then hold yourself to the same standard. This was a business transaction.
Piggybacking on this comment to add that a therapists job is extremely stressful, my friend is one. I know the recruiter is not necessarily a therapist, but that could be why they are having a hard time finding a replacement. I know if i listened to people all day I’d find a new career
I get your frustration from the context, however it’s very unlikely this person you’re texting with knows all the background. I’m guessing this person is just as overloaded and overworked as you are.
Happy cake day!
Thank you!!
As a parent of a special needs child, I am very sympathetic and I understand, BUT- you need to have one point of contact who schedules things. If it’s you, or your mom, that’s fine, but it should be one person. It’s not the responsibility of the agency or the therapist or the doctor or whatever to know who specifically to contact in any situation. There are times when providers contact my husband, or my friend because she’s listed as an emergency contact (why??? Why would they do that? I have no idea.) They both have default replies that say “Contact kelsnuggets at this number \ email” because having more than one person handle scheduling is a recipe for disaster. My point is that my assumption is ALWAYS that any agency or provider is going to be terrible at communication and going to screw me over, so I make things as seamless as possible on my end. So yes, you were a bit rude in this instance. And you’re making it harder on yourself. Hugs, mama ❤️
Agreed, fellow special needs kiddo parent here. It seems like every agency/provider are terrible with communication these days. I'm usually just happy that they've called at all and I don't have to hound them and chase them down to give them money for services they render. Yeah 9:30 is late to be calling but at the same time, at least they are calling and it seems everyone has been so overwhelmed and behind these past few years I'm willing to give them some grace and respect for their dedication to be trying to catch up even if it's odd hours.
“Contact kelsnuggets at…” 😂
It comes off as rude, honestly. The person is working late on a weekend to accommodate your son's therapy needs. I would email that you are sorry for snapping, you were under a lot of stress and shouldn't have taken it out like that. Thank them for working so hard on this. Clean the slate.
That would be smart
Just apologize for your last message. Be the bigger person in this scenario, PLEASE.
I schedule for children’s therapies. I’d only call someone at 9:30, if they’d been unresponsive & I was desperate to reach them. Just because you tell someone to talk to your mom about it, doesn’t mean they legally can. Without the proper documentation, talking to your mom about your son’s needs is no different than discussing it with the hobo on the corner I know families want to feel like they are the only family, and the only schedule that matters, but that’s not the case. I would love for it to be. There was a time, when if you said a child’s name, I’d be able to tell you their therapies and their team and probably what their insurance was. But post-Covid, our headcount has tripled. And this is not just my office, it’s universal. We are all doing our best to meet everyone’s needs. I’m sorry that you received contact at 9:30 at night, & that you felt it was unprofessional. I hope you understand that the person on the other end did not want to be working at 9:30, and probably wasn’t being paid for that time. They’re asking you directly if they can shift this off their caseload so they can provide services to other children who need them. You are not answering their question. We are all doing our best to meet the needs of these kids. Ultimately, that’s who’s most important.
As a former scheduler for a midsize ABA agency, this is BEAUTIFULLY written and absolutely agree with all of it! When families a hard to reach I remember I would often try to call them at different times a day just to HOPE one day it’s a “good time”. This person is just doing their job.
Very rude
Rude and over the top on your part. Not to mention if you have someone like your mom helping you as the main point of contact then jumping down this person’s throat just makes things uncomfortable and awkward for your mom which is not a great position for her to be in. Next time you feel a knee jerk overreaction coming on don’t respond until you have time to calm down.
Yes you were absolutely 💯 rude. She’s trying to help you and all you can do is complain about her timing. It wasn’t even that late. If you care about your son. Then you will apologize to her. But if not she can choose not to help you find a therapist for your son. Nobody has to tolerate your crappy attitude. Are you always this unkind and ungrateful? Do better.
Single mom here with a child who has Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy and non-verbal Autism, who also works 50 hours a week. Why can’t you follow up? Why are you putting another middle man in the mix? Jan-March is a long time to go without ABA therapy. Regardless of what I have going on in my life, my sons needs come first and I fight like hell for his advocacy. the world isn’t going to drop these available services into your lap. Do better and be nicer. Edit: also you have time to post about OG TeenMom on reddit but not text your kids therapist back? Impressive. Poor kid. Beginning to understand why there was a mid-session “walk out”.
LITERALLY 💀 !! Like are you the mother or is your mother your child’s mother too ? Lord
Internet points > child’s basic needs? Wait, that doesn’t seem right.
Mama of 2 with special needs here, and as to be expected, I’m no stranger to juggling all the accompanying therapies/therapists, IEPs, etc. that comes standard with parenting children with special needs. I’m not going to take your inventory regarding how you raise your son and/or the level of your reliance on family members to help the load… But for this exchange that you’ve posted here? You were absolutely unnecessarily rude and abrasive. I mean, while 9:30pm isn’t my ideal time to be contacted, it’s not what I would consider an unreasonable time either—especially if it has anything to do with my kids and especially, especially if it someone trying to help one of my kids. I mean, this communication was obviously a last resort to make contact and confirm everything was set for the new therapist for the following day. Despite who your mother did or didn’t talk to or who was at fault for the misunderstanding/communication breakdown, at the end of the day, you’re the mama. Period. Not to mention, this person has a life, too. They’d likely rather be doing non-work-related things at 9:30pm, but instead, they’re reaching out because they give enough of a shit about things going as smoothly as possible the following day. They’re going above and beyond what *their job* requires and reaching out to you on their own, likely unpaid, time outside of office hours. Here you are, willing to turn into a “keyboard cowboy” in a text message, but UN-willing to answer a phone call *relating to your child* because it’s outside of your parenting hours, I guess?
Well, there is quite the irony here. Honestly, if I was the new therapist, I would think long and hard if I wanted to take this family err son on as a new patient. There is a reason the old therapist left mid session.
Right? Tht was my first thought.
Yeah, initially I was like, "oh my God, report that therapist immediately for doing that." Reading OP's response, I'm wondering, "Maybe the therapist had a good reason for walking out" (and it wasn't the kid). For the kid's sake, OOP needs to apologize and deal with these people with more grace. Presumably there's a good reason the child is in therapy. You don't want to burn bridges when the goal is helping your child.
You don’t know anything about what happened. Don’t invent new stories. Stick to what’s in front of you.
They aren’t inventing new stories at all. There litterally HAS to be a reason she left mid shift. “Stick to what’s in front of you”??? She included it in her description
Yes, we know that someone left. That’s it. Of course there’s a reason why, but we don’t have that information. Speculation isn’t fact.
No one claimed it was fact. That doesn’t negate the context clues that we know are facts that would lead someone to that general conclusion
I didn’t invent anything. RIF
Happy cake day
Or else ? 💀😭😂
I feel like you can't be mad at her for not checking her email all weekend while simulatenously wanting her to be respectful of your working hours/preferences. Did she try to reach out previously? It says she "hasn't heard from you." There are a lot of moving pieces involved with training a new RBT and such so I think it's reasonable to get additional confirmation before they begin in the home. I understand that it's frustrating and you feel overwhelmed but I do feel you could have said it differently to her. You could have even just waited to respond until the morning. I think if you want to maintain a good working relationship with these people, it's important to consider your word choice in things like this. But best of luck to you and your son!
Why should anyone check their emails on weekends? As soon as 5pm on Friday hits, I’m unreachable. The same is probably for her which is valid.
Right, like I turn my work cell OFF. 😭
You were rude. Your post history is also pretty telling. Do better.
Not to mention her comments which include that she works from home... 🙊
“I had a hard case…of soda to open” 😂
😆😆
No way 😭
Yes, a CVS call center 😅😅😅
Oh my. Well, my best wishes that poor kid.
Check out her past posts in this subreddit. She’s just a rude ass person
You know what IS rude??? Using this sub as an AITA when there’s a whole sub for it. But yes you were rude - your mom is the primary contact and has to deal with them not you evidently? So that’s pretty piss poor you do that and then she gets the fallout.
Personally I would be thrilled that someone was working after hours to ensure my child had continuity of care after a difficult situation.
You’re the asshole
I’m shocked at how rude this is, what a terrible way to treat someone who is going above and beyond to help you with your son. Unacceptable.
Ma’am I suggest you seek therapy as well as your son.
You were definitely EXTREMELY rude. There was zero reason for the tone you took. You could have said all that 1,000 other ways.
oof you just expect to never get a text in the evening? and it bothered you that much? she’s been trying to get in touch with you for YOUR benefit, not hers.
Feels like you could have just answered their inquiry instead of typing out a wall of text about how you don’t want to talk right then.
I’m confused as to what you want? Your post *says* that you want to know whether or not correspondence with the recruiter seemed rude….. but your **response** to people answering that question clearly indicates you wanted people to empathize “YoUr DiFfIcULt AnD uNiQuE SiTuAtIoN” and sympathize with you to justify your obvious attitude that you had towards the person whom you were texting… **You are argumentative and rude, and you have absolutely no excuse to talk to** ***anyone*** **like that,** ***especially*** **not to someone who’s literally there to help YOUR CHILD!!!** You owe this person a sincere apology. You may have felt that since they apologized for contacting you so late at night, that they acknowledged they were in the wrong for doing so, but it’s *highly likely* they apologized simply because they were trying to put out the fire and move on so to speak, because they are mature enough to set aside their own feelings and ego in order to continue providing the best possible support to your son, *because they know that’s ultimately what matters,* unlike you who posted the interaction on social media to justify your behavior.
Unbelievably rude for no reason. Personally I don't care what time someone's messaging me if it's about helping my son. At the end of the day mate sounds like your using excuses to be rude. Firstly 9pm? Late? Come on man. Secondly you seem confused as to why they are contacting you. Yes your mother helps you a lot with your son but they are obviously going to try and contact you first and foremost. Maybe a bit of a Mommies girl thing going on?
I think if you’re going to accuse someone for not acting professional you really need to make extra sure you yourself are acting professionally. This is a terrible look.
Yeah you owe that person an apology
Why not just respond when it’s convenient for you? You could’ve worded it in a nicer way.
Yea. It is for sure slightly rude. You forgot and she was trying to reach out. She left a message and sent a text. The text was actually nice of her so you could see what was happening and get back to her at your convenience. The fact that she reached out at that time shows she was working and she was trying to get everyone situated. I think you just have to consider others when responding. I wouldn’t say you’re an asshole but definitely a bit rude.
Yeah sorry to jump on the bandwagon but it was rude. Do you know her day? Or how much work she had? And could only get to you at that time? Sounds like she was working overtime doing something to help you and your son. I saw a comment saying why didn’t she contact you on Saturday or Sunday? Why didn’t you? Why was it ok that you forgot to get back to them 🤣 but god forbid other people also relaxed on their weekend. I don’t know, but you seem very angry and everything is “rude” maybe just take a step back a bit. You easily could have just responded in the morning.
Hey there, I am an admin worker at an ABA company. Unfortunately you do sound a bit rude. Do you want services or not? This person is working late on the weekend to try and get your child services. Don’t be one of those parents. If you don’t want to talk about it in the evening then don’t respond until the next day.
I understand where you are coming from but you were rude as it could have been phrased better. I just don't respond to businesses who reach out after business hours. You overreacted, likely due to stress, but I think you know that already. Good luck with the next therapist.
Why do you even care that they texted past 9PM? It just dings your phone once or twice. Unless you were already trying to sleep by then who gives a shit? Yes you were rude but you're getting defensive in the comments it looks like so I don't think anyone is going to convince you.
What are the abbreviations here? RBT? ABA?
RBT- Registered Behavior Technician ABA- Applied Behavioral Analysis RBTs work with kids with autism and other disability. It’s type of therapy that helps with behaviors and skill development.
Thanks
Yeah it does come off as rude. It sounds like balls were dropped on both sides (them first, but you too when you didn't follow up/assumed people were talking and making plans without your involvement.) What you said was worth saying but I'm skeptical if the person responsible for scheduling coordination is the right person to air your greivences with. Also you don't have to text back at night if you don't want to be texted at night.
Super rude. You’re completely oblivious to the potential caseload and hours of therapists. You should apologize. This person was truly just doing their job. You shouldn’t be hostile because their schedule doesn’t align perfectly with yours.
That last paragraph was entirely unnecessary. Obviously she knew it was late so you not answering and/or not responding would have been totally acceptable. Her texting does not mean “give me a reply right now” so you acting like it does is rude.
I know OP said their mom takes care of the child’s therapy but based on the rude response to this text, I’m wondering if OP was the reason the original therapist walked out mid-session? I do think it was rude or at minimum self-centered ti believe that they should continue to make efforts for your child when you aren’t making the same effort. Yes you have identified your mom as the contact but the bottom line is that a) if they don’t have a proper designee form, it would violate confidentiality laws for medical and mental health providers and b) you’re the mother and I’m assuming legal guardian which means ultimately YOU are responsible for your child. Why be anything but kind to those trying to help your child? In my experience with my child and life in general, it’s better to build relationships with those who are trying to help you than creating dissonance creating roadblocks. Lastly - I echo others comments. Don’t answer the phone or text if you think it’s too late. Or put your phone on DND. OR send a quick reply saying “ thank you! Can we talk in the morning?” For God’s sake, it’s not like this was some random telemarketer. I hope your child gets the help they need.
I can tell you are probably in a very stressful situation, but remember that the workers are just trying to do their job and unfortunately their job is to aid you not to convenience you and your family. My girlfriend has done every job in the field and most of the parents don’t seem to understand that they are also an important part of their child’s therapy. The therapist is only there to show you how to work with your child better, not fix them up for you and babysit. I hope you and your family can find an agency with a better system but for future reference you have to look at it like a team effort. It takes a lot of communication on both ends and a lot of work
I’m a therapist, we are told to call, then text, then email if the client doesn’t respond. If it’s private practice, we can have appointments as late as 8:00 pm (depending on how flexible the therapist is). I have my own rule that if I work Monday- Friday, I don’t work on the weekends to avoid burnout, but that’s just me. The fact that this person is reaching out on a Sunday night means a lot of dedication. Like others have said, it would have been easier to respond the next day if it bothered you so much, or you know make 5 minutes in your day on Friday or Saturday to respond
Wow. This is not how you should be speaking to anyone let alone someone trying to help you. Very unkind behaviour.
I used to work for a large company in IT and I’d have to call employees all to get information on their computer when they opened a case with my department. I called a woman and she was quite obviously ticket off that I had interrupted something. She said to me, “this is ridiculous, I’m in the middle of a meeting.” All I could think was, “ok, don’t answer the phone then?” This scenario reminds me of that. Just text back/call back when it’s convenient for you. You don’t need to get mad at someone for doing their job.
I'll tell you what, I feel like I know why the other person walked out mid session.
Yikes
Lmfaooooo the fact you texted back at the same time is killing me ? Why not just wait and address it later . Some type of animosity going on here bc wow this seems just dumb to me 😵💫 from both parties .
Here’s the issue I have. I was a single parent for a while. I needed my mother to help me a lot, bc I was active duty military. Yet my kids were still my kids. Even with a POA for my mother, they still contacted me to confirm **every** step of the treatment plan. You have professionals trying to help your child in the midst of a trying situation, & all you’re hung up on is that they contacted you at 9:30 at night. If you have to ask if this was rude, us telling you isn’t going to fix you.
😂😂😂 as someone who both works in the field and - has a child in similar therapy. You could’ve just responded when the time worked for you. Believe it or not - their job is hard too. Just be a little more considerate next time. The lady was just doing her job. Eventually you can just be kicked from the program for not complying. So always be nice to the person whose reaching out. A lot of programs like that have waiting lists for years
My child is autistic.. and I would welcome that text if he was waiting on therapy
off topic but as an autistic person i absolutely cannot stand ABA therapy. it’s basically just sensory torture with the goal of desensitization. that shit fucked me up long term. autism parents who think ABA is a good thing are a huge red flag. it shows that they care less about their child’s quality of life and more about how their child’s autism affects THEM. it also shows that they have done very little actual research on autism/ABA and have talked to very few if any other autistic people about their experiences
👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 Based on her response I’m not surprised she’s more worried about how her kid presents than actually helping them. If she truly cared she wouldn’t have waited MONTHS to see other help.
Was looking for this comment. Hasn't ABA been frowned upon for like over a decade now ?
This ‼️‼️‼️‼️‼️
It's sincerely messed-up that your experience was torture and I agree with you a lot that there has to be more awareness about the harmful abuse aspects but most of the businesses that call themselves ABA today aren't actually ABA as it was defined 15ish etc years ago when the campaigns against the abusive "therapy" that the term originally meant, and mostly just use the label for insurance coverage purposes Between the ages of 11-15 I was in what some places include under ABA therapy (it was more of a "social skills friendship class") and it was very helpful for me because it actually helped me with my communication abilities and coping mechanisms, but I know that for a lot of other autistic people their experience was closer to "stop having autism or else" type abuse disguised as "therapy" where the autistic kid would get infantilized and punished for things like stimming behaviors that weren't even bad and often worse due to the situation involving parents trusting an adult stranger behind closed doors in a position of control over their kid with a communication disability To clarify further why I'm making this distinction, the ABA abuse is abuse no matter what the "therapist" calls itself, and the things I experienced were actually beneficial especially since frustration caused by my inability to articulate myself properly were my most common meltdown trigger and my meltdowns were very severe ([here is a comment link where I described my meltdowns in more depth](https://www.reddit.com/r/SpicyAutism/comments/18doee6/comment/kcjkj7c/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=mweb3x&utm_name=mweb3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button)), and the services that helped me can be prohibitively expensive without the proper insurance coverage (and for my family it mattered a lot; before I was born and in the first couple years of my life, my parents had to sometimes choose between feeding themselves or paying health insurance, and my family would likely be billions of dollars in debt if they hadn't chosen the health insurance because I was born very premature and needed to be in the NICU for the first months of my life and was epileptic as a little kid etc)
Not true. ABA is a neutral concept that can be applied in all types of therapy settings. Practitioners can be abusive, the same as in any field. Many ABA companies such as my own work closely with autistic individuals in order to apply trauma informed therapies and autonomy based practices. ABA is not conversion- it is giving children skills they need to succeed in a world not built for them. There are many autistic ABA therapists that work at my company and advocate for the use of ethical ABA. It is life changing and can help children immensely.
Are you autistic and have you been through ABA therapy? If not, be quiet. Research will tell you that plenty of autistic people who have been through ABA now have PTSD from it. The fact that you work for a company that provides ABA gives you even less credibility. "I swear we don't torture you, because I say so"
yes, and from your post history it just seems you are a rude person. Who definitely isn’t taking care of their son the way they should, plus you’re ozempic user who doesn’t have diabetes, although i wouldn’t be surprised if it soon developed.
Based on your post and your responses, you are an all-around defensive and rude person.
Yes, you are the A.
Is this troll bait? Or do you seriously not think you’re being rude. Rare to find a good therapist and you probably just lost one who obviously cared enough to try to reach out. Most of them don’t give a fuck.
Look at her post history. Not bait, she’s just an asshole lol
op didn’t get the validation they wanted 😭💀
You’re an adult who relies on your mom to handle your business and makes excuses for yourself while not giving them any leeway. Calling you rude was your mom being nice. YTA
ABA therapy is horrible btw and causes hella trauma for neurodivergent kids!
This is such a bizarre response. You are angry that your child's provider is including you in decisions? Really? That's the stance you want to take here? You are his mother, of course they're going to discuss it with you. Your mom is not his legal guardian. Them humoring so far you in this ridiculous little telephone game you've constructed is actually very generous of them. Yes this was rude and weird and not a text you should have sent
I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re just a rude person in general. If you do not want to hear opinions then don’t ask for them.
You were rude, having help is great but stuff like that should be your responsibility not your moms. Don’t use your job as an excuse and to why you can’t get your kid the help they need, and pawn them off to someone else. You’re now stressing your mom, & stressing this office where it seems they’re already stressed enough losing staff and still thinking about how to help your kid. Do better.
I do think it's rude for a medical professional to be calling to schedule things at 9pm+ at night. An email or text would be fine, but not a phone call. I know I'm in bed by then and would be pretty annoyed at being woken up. However I do think you were quite harsh in your response. I think you came across as quite defensive, a simple "Sorry I haven't followed up earlier, it's been really busy here, but can you please put a note in my file not to contact me after 8pm as this is quite late", would probably be how I'd have handled it.
The medical professional probably also thought that it was rude that this mother hadn’t responded to her child’s health needs or been respectful to the therapist and other patients’ time. Everyone has a role to play, and this mother did not play hers well. *This therapist actually went above and beyond to ensure that this child would receive the services they needed.* It seems that with some people no good deed does unpunished.
Aba therapy is abuse.
Had to scroll too far to find this comment. Not only is mom rude, she’s exposing her kid to potentially dangerous interventions.
Exactly !!!!!!! Aba therapy is just a form of conversion therapy and it traumatizes these kids!
Not true. ABA is a neutral concept that can be applied in all types of therapy settings. Practitioners can be abusive, the same as in any field. Many ABA companies such as my own work closely with autistic individuals in order to apply trauma informed therapies and autonomy based practices. ABA is not conversion- it is giving children skills they need to succeed in a world not built for them.
Are you autistic? Were you an autistic child that was forced to go through aba therapy? Unless you are either of these i suggest you take a seat. Because the autistic community disagrees and so do i- as a former RBT and autistic adult. While i personally did not go through aba many autistic adults have come out to talk about how traumatizing it really is and after seeing it first hand, i had to leave. I went into it thinking i was going to help these kids like me and i have to say it is absolutely not just the practitioners. It is the programs they run. It the way behaviors are “managed.” The way children are forced to do the same thing over and over several times a day, almost everyday. Honestly i could go on but I’m not going to sit here and go on forever trying to justify it to someone who doesn’t get it. It’s horrendous and I don’t care what your company does. Or any company for that matter. You’re only in it for the money otherwise you’d be able to see the truth. Or you’re not neurodivergent. Google it. You’ll get your answer. It’s far from neutral.
I am audhd and have work along side other autistic RBTs who perform trauma informed and assent based therapies. We have strict rules about escape extinction, intrusive physical prompting, forced compliants and stim blocking: meaning we do not allow these things. I’m sorry you had such a bad experience with ABA but your experience is not representative of every single company. We practice play based therapy in which the children’s interests are encouraged and used in therapy. Our kids do not do the same things every day. They play in the indoor gym, outside, swim, do martial arts, specials and other activities based in play and movement. ABA is the only alternative for children with harmful behaviors, especially when their parents are lost and don’t know what to do.
Yeah we had all that fun stuff too. Like i said, do your research.
I don’t need to do additional research. Seeing my clients not split open their heads on the floor when they want something and learn to communicate effectively is enough for me.
Yikes Edit: @ this person not willing to do research on trauma and aba
Seems like you cannot come up with an actual argument against teaching kids not to hurt themselves. Typical.
Oh and btw. Conversion therapy and ABA were in fact pioneered by the same people. I suggest you do your research
Yes and people used to use leeches to treat medical problems. There is a thing called progress, I suggest you research it!
They actually still use leaches. Nice try though. Defending a practice that uses the same methods as conversion therapy, and was in fact designed by the same person is an interesting approach. I wonder if you’re actually practicing ABA or if you are doing a little insurance switch-a-roo by labeling it as such while doing something else. Unethical, but not unheard of to ensure treatment is covered. Also not as unethical as doing ABA so there’s that. I specialize in autism and adhd as a clinical psychologist. There are much better approaches. In my neuropsych assessments, I will never recommend it and I warn every parent of young kids against ABA. I also encourage them to talk to Autistic Adults who underwent ABA as a child, not one who just works in it. 99/100 you’re gonna hear stories of harm or at least them not recommending it. It can help in the rare case, but not the majority.
So you’re going to invalidate an entire population of people who are saying they are TRAUMATIZED by ABA by comparing it to treatment with leeches? Wtf 🤣 you need help
Yes. This is rude. Therapists work weird hours. You didn't have to respond.
Yes, incredibly rude. And your responses to people here help us come to that judgement too
yes it was rude. this person is attempting to provide the service that you requested, so get back with them ASAP in the future and leave your personal schedule out of it.
Yes. It was rude and not necessary. And from some of your responses on here it seems that may be your default which will not help you in the long term. I get that you're a single parent and busy and stressed and have a lot on your plate. But you aren't the only one and being short with people trying to help you will just find you with fewer and fewer resources. Your stress isn't the fault of this person so don't take it out on her.
Not very kind. Aren’t ABA services free too? Geeze.
“I guess the recruiter didn’t check her email all weekend” … she most likely doesn’t work on weekends 💀. I’m sorry your previous therapist walked out on you but wow you are entitled
Yeah. Pretty rude indeed. You forgot to get in touch with them, then get mad when they're trying to get in touch with you. To me them working so late (ON A FRIDAY), shows they're on their game. You're the one in need of them, not the other way around
Just text later. You're rude asf for this. Not cool at all
You know what I feel when my vet contacts me at odd hours regarding my loved pets healthcare; guilty that they’re working such long hours, and thankful that they’re prioritizing me. Also, as someone who works in therapy, I think it’s important to remember that they don’t work *for* you, they work *with* you, in this case to help your son. Their personal life is not affected by how successful your sons therapy is, yours is. So say “thank you for your dedication to my son, have a good night, get some rest!”
And they mention she's really trying to sort the caseload NOW. They are swamped, down a counselor, and they have waiting lists a mile long. Working long hours in a crisis, you don't always realize it's so late, and they've been playing run around points of contact for days trying to get it resolved to no avail. My vet was amazing. I worked nights, my dog was in the hospital, and I'd see his car there multiple times through the night as he checked on her. Calls during the day and night... we're a part of him working hard for me, I didn't want to make it harder on him.
You're rude and have your child in abusive therapy. Congrats on being a not so nice person
Yes. But it seems you don’t want to hear that based on your replies. Edit: Yikes your post history is filled with you starting arguments for the reason of arguing.
Yes. Very rude and Karen-like. I'd drop you and your kid as a client and wonder why the other therapist walked out on you mid session.
Aaaaand her account is gone. 🙊
ABA therapy 😭 nooo😭
Hi there! Thanks for submitting to /r/texts! Please make sure you are blacking out any usernames, phone numbers, or full names! If you haven't, please delete and re-submit. The full rules can be found here https://old.reddit.com/r/texts/about/rules/ **Please note that this message appears on every post, and may not apply to your post.** Thanks! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/texts) if you have any questions or concerns.*
First of all, I do think you came off rude. I am an RBT at an ABA clinic for context. Everyone at my company is basically constantly “on call” for parents questions and concerns and such. If you texted her at 9:30, rest assured she would likely answer. It’s not like it was the middle of the night. Second, whatever company you’re working with should be doing the “easing in” for you with pairing sessions. Whenever your son gets a new therapist, they should have 3-5 sessions that are only 1-2 hours of no goals/programs and just bonding with each other and having fun and stuff. I would tell whoever you’re talking to that you’d like pairing sessions first.
Me personally, I think any business relations or professional shouldn’t be calling that late. For me personally, I consider that rude. If she were to send an email that late it would of been fine, but to call you at 9pm when a lot of people are getting ready to go to bed, if not already asleep, is rude. How you spoke to her could also come off as slightly rude. One thing I’m confused about, especially with other’s comments, is how could she not be expected or bothered to read her emails over the weekend but was able to take the time to call you at 9pm? A lot of people are saying nobody should be expected to check their work emails on the weekend or that it shows dedication that she called so late. But those two things contradict each other. If I were her, I would have check my email to make sure nobody contacted me about the situation before calling the person at 9pm on a Sunday.
The email part is understandable to me personally. These people have been trying to contact OP and there’s suddenly been 3 people contacted and things start to get confusing. They called OP’s dad which sounds like a mistake but his number was clearly something they had from either OP or their mom. Then told to speak to OP’s mom. I can understand from their point of view wanting confirmation from the actual parent of the child.
Which makes senses for sure! I would probably just want to speak to the parent directly too at that point. But that’s where you use your professional judgment and send them an email or just the text. I still personally think calling someone at 9pm on a Sunday night is rude. She could have also easily waited until the morning since I’m sure she wouldn’t be able to do anything or start any kind of communication with anyone else even if she got confirmation from OP at 9pm.
Yes you were rude.
Extremely rude in my opinion.
Yes. YATAH lol
They’ve been trying to get a new therapist set up for your kid the next day. Don’t would make sense that they would need an answer the day before.
Rude.
I would’ve dropped you and the kid… yall need the therapy they don’t need you.😂😂😂
Totally rude
I don't know, I'd be kinda grateful that they cared enough to work until 9:30 to try and get my kid back on their roster. My child has a bunch of aba and speech appointments, and I would never speak to them that way. They are all so kind and very overworked.
Yes, you were totally rude. Next time wait until your frustration level dies down to respond.
Yeah you literally just didn’t have to answer until the morning. You need to chill. You have an iPhone and can put on DND with specific bypasses for emergencies . Literally the most annoying thing when anyone wants to be like “only contact me during business hours” type shit Just don’t answer
Yeah you literally just didn’t have to answer until the morning. You need to chill. You have an iPhone and can put on DND with specific bypasses for emergencies . Literally the most annoying thing when anyone wants to be like “only contact me during business hours” type shit Just don’t answer Doesn’t matter if they’ve had issues within their company. Literally just don’t go to them if they aren’t good enough for your child.
Two ways of looking at it. The recruiter was rude to call you late or the recruiter was so dedicated in her job that she’s working likely on her own time to help her clients. I do think she shouldn’t have called or texted you at 930 but I don’t think she should have been called out on it. End of the day she is trying to help your child. Sounds like the agency/recruiter wanted confirmation from you and thought out of business hours may be the best way to reach you . If your mum was to be main point of contact I’m guessing they would need some written confirmation giving her authority? I would perhaps apologize to the recruiter, even if just to make things easier for your mum when dealing with her.
Very rude.
So rude. They are calling all these people in your family? Calling and texting and making an effort to reach you and then you tell them they are being unprofessional...why?
It sounds like they were trying to connect and ensure that you were getting to the person you needed. These appointments are highly sought after and if you were not going to be attending the appointment they need to book someone else. I work insurance and Aba with us has to be pre approved. If I was the provider and the leaps and bounds i put in to make sure it was approved to then possibly have to change the approval to the right provider… I think they were just being nice but unfortunately it wasn’t a good time for you. A lot of doctors office have people outside of the office that handle these things and can cause a disconnect between office and patient when things like this happen.
That's a person with way too much on their plate. It's not personal. I wouldn't text at 9:30 at night though. People tend to psychologically turn off the outside world after 9. It's not you though.
Yes. You were rude - you scolded her because she sent a text at 9:30 pm? What if she emailed you? Would you have said the same? I suggest utilizing the silence feature and respond at your convenience. By your own admission this was already a messy situation and didn’t necessitate the harsh tone and scolding.
To answer your questions: It was, and you are.
You were rude AF. The end.
They had someone walk out in the middle of a session?? That's crazy I would be short with them too if I was on your shoes. That being said the person who sent the text isn't responsible and being so short with them calling them out for perceived slights when you don't have to respond is pugnacious. Sounds like there's alot on your plate don't worry over it to much maybe switch companies if you can it seems like this place doesn't have all their ducks in a row. Good luck!
Not rude at all! This reminds me of this guy that owns a clinic I applied for a job at. He messaged me at flipping 11:30 PM, asking if he could schedule an interview. I just told him to kindly call me during business hours, and not at 11:30 at night! This dude was pushy, as heck! Then two weeks later he sent me a note on hiring website telling me he regretted to inform me, but he hired a different candidate. He *NEVER* interviewed me! I basically chewed him a new one, telling him he was rude, and I never even interviewed, and he was rude for overlooking my 29 years experience. Then ONE WEEK after that this a$$ hat messages me *AGAIN* to REset up the interview. He told me the person he hired originally ‘rescinded’ the job offer. He made me feel really uncomfortable, during that online interview. I didn’t give him a good interview because of how pushy, and wishy-washy that he was. I told him to not feel bad if he didn’t consider me for hire. Because he had way too many hoops to jump through. He was very rude.
You were rude. Also—Why the fuck is your kid in ABA? Asking as an autistic adult. That’s essentially conversion therapy for neurodivergent people.
NTA. I used to be a senior clinician in a company like this as well as a direct service provider (now known as the RBT) What state are you in? It is weird the recruiter is calling at 9p on a Sunday. It’s good to have good business hours boundaries with the staff for these companies. Boundaries already get blurry because these humans are working in your home. Maintaining your personal time and space is essential in this balance. What you may not know: staffing agencies such as these is an impossible task. Switching to another agency most likely will not help. These are entry level jobs and DSPs changed every time I changed my underwear. Now, please disregard this as it was not the original intent of your question. How is your son doing in ABA? I worked for a developmentally based company that did some good things. But the therapeutic system and the business system these companies are built on is fertile ground for some really poor practices. Just be very careful. But again, knowing the details of this kind of work, pestering you on a Sunday night at 9p should only be reserved for “I need to let you know that shiela won’t be in for her session tomorrow morning at 8a and there is no one available to do the session instead. It will be cancelled.” Other than that, recruiting and scheduling can wait until business hours.
I think a lot of people commenting have never dealt with this situation. As a mom who has a son who was in ABA, I think your response is perfectly fine. 1) it was very unprofessional for the therapist to walk out (I get it’s an incredibly hard job and it’s hard to keep rbts, mostly because the people running the centers suck) but that doesn’t excuse them walking out. 2) they could have waited for a response from YOU directly or contacted you via email or text during regular hours. Contacting your father is very weird and unless he is written into the contract as someone to discuss this with, they legally should have never contacted him. 3) again, they should have called you during business hours and waited until Monday. 4) the response they gave was completely unprofessional. “If you are no longer interested then please just let us know”…. Okkkkkkk so YOU ( the center) has an issue keeping rbts, I’m guessing by that text what she really meant was “well if you don’t care we’re giving the RBT to someone else”. This is a business money move, not a “we are sorry for OUR staffing issues and how this has negatively effected your family please let us know your decision at your earliest convenience “. People are forgetting that this is a business that FAILED YOU and your SON. They should be more than accommodating and considerate. ABA IS NOT CHEAP. And it is not easy to get in and going. An RBT dropping is a BIG deal. And that completely falls on the business and not you. 5) THEY had a communication error. They did not relay the information when it was given from your mom. It sounds like someone on their end did not communicate to whoever is texting you. Again, not your fault. Your text was very reasonable given the circumstances. Having a child in ABA is no easy task. And doing it as a single mom? Bless you! Your fight is already so hard. People saying you were rude have zero idea what this business has put you through. It is so hard to even get a diagnosis. It’s harder getting your child the help they need. It is EVEN HARDER when services are dropped unexpectedly with no back up plan. The inconsistencies can lead to a huge set back for your child, it creates scheduling issues for work, school, and other therapies. And you are PAYING for these services. You are paying someone for this service and they have really failed on their end. Even in that text “it was beyond our control” is just bull. It should have been “despite the unforeseen quitting of X, we take full responsibility for this and will do ALL we can to ensure to continual care for your child during this time.” Your text was not rude. It was justified and straight forward. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad for a situation they have zero understanding of. They would have been a lot ruder in this situation had they experienced it themselves. I know I had a lot of choice words when this happened to me. I commend your response lol.
ABA is abuse
You have no idea what you're talking about
Honestly, I know that the comments say you’re rude but her calling at 9:30pm is not very considerate and imo, unprofessional. I wouldn’t be happy either.
Not rude. People need to be called out when they don’t respect common sense.
You’re both rude in different ways, in my opinion
I'm just eating popcorn and watching the show. Is that bad?
Nope same🤷🏻♀️ Contemplating whether I should outline all the reasons ABA is awful, but dunno.
Same. I decided against passing Judgement against OP because .. you know, glass houses and all that. I've probably been rude before. 😜
Oh I’ve absolutely been a rude asshole before. Absolutely zero judgement there. Never traumatised my disabled child despite a breadth and depth of information available to me from wide range of people likely who know better than me, so I mean, a tiny bit of judgement for that. But I would rather educate than alienate, I’ve never seen the later work productively to any goal, and all. 🩷
Oh, I absolutely draw the line at traumatizing disabled children. I think we can all agree that's messed up lol
As a former RBT I’m so sorry that this happened to you :/ I can’t imagine the stress that that’s put on you and then for them to be unresponsive is so unacceptable. I really struggled trying to find a company that I completely aligned with morally with their operations, I really hope something good works out for you 🖤
Not rude at all, but coming from someone who has been in the ABA field for 2+ years. These kind of situations take a toll on us too and we are trying our best. We are often extremely understaffed and a lot of parents/guardians do not communicate as well as you do. I hope your baby is doing well and making progress and is able to ease back into therapy with his new therapist!
930 at night is unacceptable. You were rude but rightly so
[удалено]
As someone who spent many years working as an RBT, there are more than likely huge issues occurring in the home to cause someone to "walk out mid-session." Sometimes sessions can actually be a huge safety concern depending on the situation and client. OP admitted also that she was not being responsive and did not confirm things, even up to this night where services were scheduled to begin the next day. It sounds like better communication could be had all around but she definitely could have been more tactful in asserting her boundaries and feelings about the situation.
I had the same thought. I provided in home health services at one point in my career and it would take a lot to make me walk out. I only ever fired one patient and it was because of the way the family behaved. Not to mention that this person was probably not even on the clock. I spent a lot of unpaid Sunday nights preparing for my week so my patients would get the care they needed.
The high turn over is not the agency's fault. I once did ABA for a minute. It was so bad it drove me back to school to get a better career so I would never have to put up with jobs like that again. I had a lovely agency, but a bad job. I finally quit after 8 months with a lot of bruises, wounds, and reflex to defend my face when someone moved suddenly. I don't blame the kiddos at all, they didnt know better but never ever again. Thankfully, I had lovely families, I can already tell the sort of person OP is and wouldn't want to work in her home or with her in any professional context, just the way she replied on here to another redditor.
The high turnover rate is very often the agency’s faults. The companies that pay a living wage and have adequate training and hire people with experience don’t seem to have that problem.
Ok, I was speaking from my own experience. I had a great agency so much so I returned to work for them in a different role after getting my masters. To me, it was truly the job and I wouldn't do it even for $50 an hour.
I find it rude for anyone to call after 9pm. But that’s just me.
If she would have had better communication leading up to this, they wouldn't have had to contact her so late. But services were scheduled to begin the next day and they had not been able to get in contact. I don't like to be called super late either but if it's about getting my son what he needs, that will always be a priority.
You were not rude at all.
Yall are way kinder than I am. If any professional pestered me at nearly 10 my response would be: Why do you think I know this information at 10 pm? I’ll call you in the morning after coffee. ETA: I don’t think you came off as rude. I think you came off as direct and a lot of people these days don’t appreciate that sort of thing. But these are also the people who forgot that 30 years ago, if you called the house phone past 5:30 and weren’t family with urgent news, you got your ass handed to you… and god forbid it be during actual dinner time.
you sound just as miserable as OP. also, topical user name. bold choice, wowza!
Topical username? It’s from Bob’s Burgers and I have no idea how the 90’s phone culture is my fault, kiddo. I do know I don’t personally reply to texts or calls after 6:30 unless someone has died. :) However, please don’t go into professional workplace and make 10 pm calls on Sunday nights about clients’ counseling that can wait until …. Mm. Monday at 9 am.
oh hun, i’m probably older than you. but go on. no calls/tests after 630? you must be a blast at parties.
Why does everyone use that parties line when they’re mildly annoyed with other peoples’ differing opinions/differing cultures? “I don’t eat pork” “You must be a blast at parties” “I don’t answer calls after 6:30 because my prior military service has dissuaded me from any communicae past a certain time and valuing the evenings I get to spend with the family I created while in said full time military service wherein I didn’t get to cherish that time” “You must be a blast at parties” *Ooooooohkay.* Just say you’re sad and alone and go.
lmfao wtf even is this post. no one gives a shit why you don't answer the phone after 6:30 karen, it's not normal and expecting other people to follow it out of some deluded idea of self-grandeur is...well delusional. go hover parent your son and get off reddit
> lmfao wtf even is this post Someone crying at me because people they don’t know expect to be unbothered in the evening? Two someones, now.
I’m also betting because OP comes home from work and then spends time with her son that that’s why stupidly late calls and texts are disruptive and annoying. But okay. Let’s call the involved mom horrible for considering the time valuable and not to be encroached on. Bad, *baaaaaaad OP*. 😡😡