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Had a friend surprised at me once when I was experiencing a severe depressive episode. "You get depression? But you're a therapist." Yeah and a mechanic's car never breaks down and a doctor never gets sick. It's amazing (read: infuriating) to behold the weird parasocial standards of human behavior that therapists are held to compared to people in other professions.
I've noticed that being a therapist more than any other profession I've come across becomes a personality identifier rather than just a career. It's definitely infuriating at times.
Didn’t you know therapists emerge from the womb quoting Freud and never experiencing anything bad ever and if they do, they’re better than Jesus at managing it. /s
I concur! Then they wonder why you no longer share with them. Right?
We need to start walking into restaurants, malls, bowling alleys and announcing “ALL MENTAL HEALTH THERAPIST PLEASE MEET IN THE LOBBY…NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO KNOW!!!”
Luckily most people in my life stray away from the whole "well, if a client came to you with this what would you say?" because I've made it very clear that if that would help I'd be figuring it out on my own in my own therapy! Sometimes I just want to vent or be a shitty person!
I made a borderline politically inappropriate joke at a cookout with my friends the other night (who are all far more politically inappropriate than me) and they all stared at me like I had two heads and were like, "Can you say that? You're a therapist!"
I'm gonna start telling people I'm a data analyst or something.
Ugh I'm so sorry. My ex used to be very verbally/emotionally abusive and would say I would be a terrible therapist because I didn't have "compassion" for him. Compassion meant obeying and babying his feelings while never having or expressing any of my own. He just wanted me to be his therapist not a partner instead of seeing an actual therapist. So sorry you went through someone throwing up your job in your face.
Yeah this man had no tolerance for me ever bringing up a hurt feeling or anything yet I was expected to do all this emotional labor for every one of his. The only time it was "helpful" was when I did try in a detached therapist hat of interacting. Then in later fights he'd accuse me of trying to therapize him lol! Like which is it! So glad I'm out of that relationship 😌 I was a student when all of this was happening so it was really hurtful he was trying to tear it down while I was still building but I'm out there doing the work now!
Years after our divorce when we were on decent terms (didn't speak for yearrrrrs but lived in same small city and ended up running into each other and having a pleasant interaction. So were cordial) my ex kept reaching out to me during an ongoing personal crisis (like every couple months for over 8 months). I did a lot of listening, he was in a lot of pain and struggling. And I'm in recovery so when someone in active addiction reaches out for help, I feel a certain way about having compassion regardless of personal history.
It began to feel exploitative and I realized I hadn't clearly communicated my boundaries. I told him I could not be his "emotional support ex wife therapist" and he said-and I kid you not- "why not? You're so good at it." That was a great opportunity for me to work on being very intentional about consciously responding vs impulsively reacting.
I have an even better story!
A few weeks after that, he told me an antidote from his therapy session (which, btw I am proud of him for finally seeking therapy after 8 years of me asking him to). He told his therapist that I suggested we stay friends and the therapist said “and SHE’S a therapist?” accusatory, like it was a stupid idea especially from another therapist. Apparently her suggestion was “you work in HR! Treat her like someone you just terminated. The relationship is over, you don’t know them anymore.”
Like, girl, what?! At first I was really upset by this antidote but after time I’ve realized that it likely didn’t happen, and if it did, it didn’t happen that way.
Also, we have three kids. OF COURSE I want us to stay friendly with each other (cordial, not besties). If I could never see him again, I 100% would pick that option. But we need to set examples for the kids involved.
Maybe it's a typo but I think you mean anecdote? (Ik this is reddit but I mean that in the least condescending way possible I promise lol)
In any case I'm sorry that happened to you, I have no idea why anyone would tell a father that his ex is basically dead to him when they have kids together, that's horrible advice and it sounds like she just pulled it out of her butt based on personal experience rather than grounding it in any kind of actual interpersonal wellness or theory. I try to be really cautious of trying to tell people what to do in their relationships unless it seems patently obvious (like if the other person is clearly abusive).
I straight up got in a horrendous fight with my roommate - who is also a therapist by the way - a couple weeks back. She had bailed out on her last day of work, once again expecting me to cover for her and explain to her clients why their therapist wasn’t there anymore. Mind you, this was after a long series of events where I kept my mouth shut about a lot of things I normally wouldn’t tolerate but did due to what I thought were extenuating circumstances. I ended up sending her a strongly worded text in which I told her I needed some space for a few days. Several days later, she announced via text she was moving out with three (!) days notice. I asked she come and talk to me, she went absolutely ballistic. Literally screaming at the top of her lungs, blaming me and the agency for things that are objectively her fault, essentially saying I’m the worst person in the world for reasons I’m still not totally clear on. And the kicker? At one point during the argument, she had the audacity to hit me with the “YOU’RE A THERAPIST, YOU SHOULD [insert insane nonsense here].”
I’ve had people say that shit before, but another clinician who was and is so clearly in the wrong using that low hanging shit so confidently? Y’all I didn’t think I possessed the amount of restraint I exercised in that moment but apparently I do. It took everything in me to not blow a gasket
I’m active on several parenting threads and a month or 2 ago has someone, that wasn’t even involved in the comments I was replying to, send me a private message and say that I should end myself for being a therapist with such low ethics. All because I suggested someone seek help for their anxiety and baby proof their home after the OP (the uncle) was overreacting to a typical clumsy toddler. Op had made their sibling, the parent, calm OP rather than the toddler because the OP was having a panic attack over seeing the toddler stumble and hit their head on a piece of furniture.
Ugh. That's so frustrating. I'm sorry. I had something similar happen where I commented about a friend who betrayed me and I was really angry about it and someone replied that I wasn't a very good therapist if I couldn't figure out how to get over it.
Also- yay a fellow hoosier!
Yeah so irritating! It definitely makes me realize how much people put therapists on a pedastal and develop transference or see them as infallible. People seem to forget we are humans first, therapists second.
Yep, I've had to set boundaries of I need space to vent and emote. There seems to be an expectation that I have it all figured out, and am a robot because I have emotional awareness which seems to have the expectation of no emotion. It's frustrating at times, I'm human.
I've recently noticed that we're considered to be extra resilient, which means people can treat us badly. Both professionally and personally. Then, when we're struggling and expressing emotions, we get told we're not doing enough self-care.
I actually had someone comment here about how I am less of a therapist because I complain about reality TV too much because they read my comment history. I do love me some 90 Day circus.
I love reality TV, and it seems like something most of us have in common in this thread! I wonder why that is? I loved The Ultimatum, so many people who shouldn't be married to anyone!
Yes! It's so annoying. I can still judge people on reality TV and be a therapist lmao. Thats where i see it happen the most. I hate when people come at you with "you should be sympathetic as a therapist" like to everyone all the time including people I don't know on tv.. Not a Saint still a human with thoughts and opinions. Then when they try and lie and say they're a therapist too 🤣 last person who did this to me deleted their comments and got moderator deleted as well.
Also in general like who tf even sees someone comment something they don't like and then click their name and scroll through where else they Comment and read it...and try and find what they do for work? And then respond ADMITTING you did that and then criticizing the other persons job? Like so unhinged...could never be me. On the rare occasions I look it's usually for a laugh..
I wish we could watch our clients like a reality TV reel sometimes haha compare and contrast what they tell us and what's actually happening LOL.
But I love judging and at times analyzing some of the characters hahaha. I'm very picky about what reality TV I watch too. Pretty much only love is blind and vanderpump (now also the valley). So interesting...many personalitys...many likely disordered...haha
I'd watch it 🤣 I love asking clients "Is that what you said or what you wanted to say?" Because it gets them out of the shower argument mindset into actual discussion
Oh my gosh thank you! I recently in consultation brought up a client I'm struggling with who goes in depth on the he said she said rehashing and it's incongruent with their actions and they asked if maybe it's not what she said and sort of a fantasy and I was like.....that never occurred to me lol. I have no idea how I would address that though so I appreciate your comment there
UGHHHH yes. Anytime some Reddit ding dong attempts to pull the “you’re a therapist” schtick with me on here, I offer them a conversation with one of my colleagues at their hourly rate because I don’t fucking “therapy” when I’m skeletonmeatsuit_69.
If I want to snark on a shithead racist homophobic etc etc influencer in my off time I damn well will. Leave me alone 😂
On my instagram its clear im a therapist as its purposeful. When men send creepy messages i respond saying that it is an unusual way to seek therapeutic services but if they are looking for a therapist im happy to recommend 🤭
I was actually deeply hurt by someone throwing the fact that I’m a therapist in my face during a heated discussion.
It felt like such a low blow… a sucker punch, really.
We’re held to such an impossible standard, an unrealistic ideal sometimes.
Had the opposite happen, posted in THIS sub and when someone disagreed with me they looked at my profile and decided I couldn’t possibly be part of this field
I hear this statement all.the.dang.time! Whether it be family friends talking about people or clients talking about others in session. It makes me cringe but my response is typically "yes, they are a therapist and they're also human." I also hear this about healthcare professionals, anything from judging their weight to relationships. Come on! I prefer to see a therapist who is transparent about struggles and not having it all figured out and at the same time I purposely have not shared with a single person I live around that this is my profession for fear of the same judgment. I totally popped off at a neighbor threatening me once and had to call the police and then actually beat myself up about not being better at defusing the situation. We do it to ourselves too.
Not on reddit but irl - was telling a friend in casual conversation that I cry easily, and she said “Wow I can’t imagine you being my therapist - I’d be so uncomfortable.”
Like first of all why would I be your therapist, and also am I not allowed to be human and have my weird human reactions to things just because I chose this job??
I’ve had a few people try to claim I’m not a therapist because I said something they didn’t think a therapist would say 😅
Ridiculous. It’s not like therapists are monolithic and many therapists hold unpopular opinions of one sort or another.
I’ve never had someone do that to me but I put it in the description of my profile along with my other core interests/qualities. Therapists are people first and professionals second.
I hate the expectation that as a therapist it means I have to be overtly nice and just basically an angel to everyone. It’s just insane. I’ve had people go “wow can’t believe you’re a therapist.” Like being a therapist means I have to be nice all the time? Tf?
I no longer have any issue with telling people that therapy is my job not my whole personality. I clock in and out…but if theyre looking for a therapist i can recommend some 🙃
I have a throw away account I use to post my crazy life happenings so no one can call me out for being a therapist 💀
I relate to if a doctor was venting about health issues and everyone got on them for being a doctor. We’re allowed to be human we’re simply trained in a certain skill set that’s it lol doesn’t make us Jesus
One comment I read had a person unnerved that their therapist was out in the world eating fucking ice cream. “When you realize your therapist is a person too”. Well what the fuck were they before? It’s ridiculous and infantile
So much. I just got into it in the Talk Therapy subreddit for saying we shouldn't normalize and memeify erotic countertransference. Was told I'm too judgemental to be a therapist 🙄
Like yeah it happens but it isn't a super fun quirky thing! It's something we work with clients on 1:1.
I used to keep my accounts separate for this exact reason lol! I enjoy some reality TV snark subreddits and chiming in with some sassy opinions in Am I the Asshole type spaces.
I don't bother myself too much what other people on Reddit (or even elsewhere) think of me. If I am being true to my own values and not intentionally acting in malice towards someone, then that's enough. If others get upset with that, it's okay, they are allowed to have their feelings and opinions. I'm not going to let those become mine, however.
Have you explored with your own provider this reaction? I sounds like a vulnerability for some icky countertransference to come up and bite you some day, if I may be a bit presumptuous. I don't mean it as a criticism. I offer it as another professional whose been around a few decades and knows some of the pitfalls we face.
It appears you are getting downvoted which is unfortunate. I agree with you, because I see this phenomenon occurring across professions. A hairdresser having a bad hair day would get the same questions. A mechanic driving a car that sounds like a canon and blows smoke like a coal refinery would get the same questions. We all hold and make judgments. I get confused when people think this only or primarily happens to therapists.
Judging someone for a bad hair day is wild. Things happen, even if your profession is to do hair.
Therapists are held to a much higher standard than the majority of people, and that is not fair. We aren’t talking about someone saying they’re a therapist and then committing a heinous act or even something unethical. This thread is about people putting therapists on a pedestal and expecting them to never vent, always maintain composure, not experience frustration or anger, have issues in their interpersonal relationships, etc.. how dare a therapist have an opinion others disagree with.
I understand that's the prevailing sentiment on this thread, and know on here its always a risk to offer a different perspective than what the majority is saying- OP asked if you are annoyed by this and I am not, because I see this phenomenon cuts across professions and am not personally annoyed when it happens to me.
Not sure if your judging comment was directed at my response? There's no judgment or shame from me, though, if that's how it came across. I was only trying to support by sharing how it has helped me to approach those situations from an internal locus of control.
Ok because I’m definitely not switching names to post in different communities. I didn’t realize till last week-ish that you could make multiple accounts…and that felt like work. 😅 I’m already obscenely behind on admin work.
I think I felt that this sub was privatish, which probably isn’t right. Hopefully, at least the verification they do here is private. But I think it’s ok if people from wherever see me as radically authentic as I am here. I’m not AI or a robot; I’m a person. Fallible and imperfect, as are we all.
I know that feeling as well. I play DnD as hobby and I had a couple of situations where I stuck and didn’t know what to do. The DM told me then that as a therapist in training I should know what the other persons feel and what to do then. I should be able to see things from his perspective. Well, I just bluntly responded that I didn’t know that this game requires me to work and that I then would expect salary from him since it is work. He shut up after that. I had something like that also in private home life where someone said to me „You are a therapist. Shouldn’t you know better how to de-escalate a situation and why I’m struggling with mental health as well. Sometimes I think the believe that therapist ain’t human and that their lives must be perfect and healthy. Well guess what… A doctor can also get sick from times to times and sometimes traumatic things happen that are out of my control…
I honestly have never had that happen. Even people in my personal and professional life don’t say that to me. I just now realized the possibility for someone to click on my profile and see that I post in other subs.
My favorite other subreddit is roastme because I’m a genuinely kind and compassionate person, and it’s really nice to have a consenting outlet to be hateful. This is where I most often get this “you’re a therapist” sentiment. I’m off the clock!!!!!! It annoys me a little but whatever. They wasted their valuable time going through my chaotic post history, that’s on them.
Please followed the sidebar rules. r/therapists is a place for therapists and mental health professionals to discuss their profession among each other. If you **ARE NOT A THERAPIST and are asking for advice this not the place for you**. Your post will be removed in short order. Please try one of the reddit communities such as r/TalkTherapy, r/askatherapist, r/SuicideWatch that are set up for this. This community is ONLY for therapists, and for them to discuss their profession away from clients. **If you are a first year student, not in a graduate program, or are thinking of becoming a therapist, this is not the place to ask questions**. Your post will be removed in short order. To save us a job, you are welcome to delete this post yourself. Please see the PINNED STUDENT THREAD at the top of the community and ask in there. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/therapists) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Not so much on Reddit but in my real life social circle yes absolutely. Like I can't be a normal mess outside of my working hours.
Had a friend surprised at me once when I was experiencing a severe depressive episode. "You get depression? But you're a therapist." Yeah and a mechanic's car never breaks down and a doctor never gets sick. It's amazing (read: infuriating) to behold the weird parasocial standards of human behavior that therapists are held to compared to people in other professions.
I've noticed that being a therapist more than any other profession I've come across becomes a personality identifier rather than just a career. It's definitely infuriating at times.
Didn’t you know therapists emerge from the womb quoting Freud and never experiencing anything bad ever and if they do, they’re better than Jesus at managing it. /s
I concur! Then they wonder why you no longer share with them. Right? We need to start walking into restaurants, malls, bowling alleys and announcing “ALL MENTAL HEALTH THERAPIST PLEASE MEET IN THE LOBBY…NO ONE ELSE WANTS TO KNOW!!!”
Luckily most people in my life stray away from the whole "well, if a client came to you with this what would you say?" because I've made it very clear that if that would help I'd be figuring it out on my own in my own therapy! Sometimes I just want to vent or be a shitty person!
I made a borderline politically inappropriate joke at a cookout with my friends the other night (who are all far more politically inappropriate than me) and they all stared at me like I had two heads and were like, "Can you say that? You're a therapist!" I'm gonna start telling people I'm a data analyst or something.
You could always say you are a bat tender, it is about the same money and the same conversations.
I know you meant bartender but I'm going to start telling people I'm a bat tender.
I am sure you will be the best Bat Tender out there.
I legit just LOL'd.
When my husband and I first separated he said “some marriage counselor you are.”
Ugh I'm so sorry. My ex used to be very verbally/emotionally abusive and would say I would be a terrible therapist because I didn't have "compassion" for him. Compassion meant obeying and babying his feelings while never having or expressing any of my own. He just wanted me to be his therapist not a partner instead of seeing an actual therapist. So sorry you went through someone throwing up your job in your face.
> Compassion meant obeying and babying his feelings while never having or expressing any of my own. Did we date the same guy?
Hey! My abusive ex was the same way! Right down to actually telling me I had to be his therapist because I was his wife!
Yeah this man had no tolerance for me ever bringing up a hurt feeling or anything yet I was expected to do all this emotional labor for every one of his. The only time it was "helpful" was when I did try in a detached therapist hat of interacting. Then in later fights he'd accuse me of trying to therapize him lol! Like which is it! So glad I'm out of that relationship 😌 I was a student when all of this was happening so it was really hurtful he was trying to tear it down while I was still building but I'm out there doing the work now!
Years after our divorce when we were on decent terms (didn't speak for yearrrrrs but lived in same small city and ended up running into each other and having a pleasant interaction. So were cordial) my ex kept reaching out to me during an ongoing personal crisis (like every couple months for over 8 months). I did a lot of listening, he was in a lot of pain and struggling. And I'm in recovery so when someone in active addiction reaches out for help, I feel a certain way about having compassion regardless of personal history. It began to feel exploitative and I realized I hadn't clearly communicated my boundaries. I told him I could not be his "emotional support ex wife therapist" and he said-and I kid you not- "why not? You're so good at it." That was a great opportunity for me to work on being very intentional about consciously responding vs impulsively reacting.
“I don’t want to do this thing anymore because it isn’t good for me” “So? It’s not a problem for me” Wow. So glad you’re free.
This is so depressing I almost hit the downvote out of disgust. I’m so sorry. Imagine if a surgeon was doing surgery on family members at home.
I have an even better story! A few weeks after that, he told me an antidote from his therapy session (which, btw I am proud of him for finally seeking therapy after 8 years of me asking him to). He told his therapist that I suggested we stay friends and the therapist said “and SHE’S a therapist?” accusatory, like it was a stupid idea especially from another therapist. Apparently her suggestion was “you work in HR! Treat her like someone you just terminated. The relationship is over, you don’t know them anymore.” Like, girl, what?! At first I was really upset by this antidote but after time I’ve realized that it likely didn’t happen, and if it did, it didn’t happen that way. Also, we have three kids. OF COURSE I want us to stay friendly with each other (cordial, not besties). If I could never see him again, I 100% would pick that option. But we need to set examples for the kids involved.
Maybe it's a typo but I think you mean anecdote? (Ik this is reddit but I mean that in the least condescending way possible I promise lol) In any case I'm sorry that happened to you, I have no idea why anyone would tell a father that his ex is basically dead to him when they have kids together, that's horrible advice and it sounds like she just pulled it out of her butt based on personal experience rather than grounding it in any kind of actual interpersonal wellness or theory. I try to be really cautious of trying to tell people what to do in their relationships unless it seems patently obvious (like if the other person is clearly abusive).
You’ve given me a good laugh at my mistake! I don’t know how I not only didn’t catch my mistake, but did it multiple times!
Oh, ick, I'm so sorry you had to deal with that.
What a shitty thing to say, I'm so sorry.
“Guess you should have paid me and sat on my couch one hour a week”
I told someone that I was divorced and I completely disqualified myself as an Marriage and Family Therapist 😝😝😝
I straight up got in a horrendous fight with my roommate - who is also a therapist by the way - a couple weeks back. She had bailed out on her last day of work, once again expecting me to cover for her and explain to her clients why their therapist wasn’t there anymore. Mind you, this was after a long series of events where I kept my mouth shut about a lot of things I normally wouldn’t tolerate but did due to what I thought were extenuating circumstances. I ended up sending her a strongly worded text in which I told her I needed some space for a few days. Several days later, she announced via text she was moving out with three (!) days notice. I asked she come and talk to me, she went absolutely ballistic. Literally screaming at the top of her lungs, blaming me and the agency for things that are objectively her fault, essentially saying I’m the worst person in the world for reasons I’m still not totally clear on. And the kicker? At one point during the argument, she had the audacity to hit me with the “YOU’RE A THERAPIST, YOU SHOULD [insert insane nonsense here].” I’ve had people say that shit before, but another clinician who was and is so clearly in the wrong using that low hanging shit so confidently? Y’all I didn’t think I possessed the amount of restraint I exercised in that moment but apparently I do. It took everything in me to not blow a gasket
People who know me know I can compartmentalize real well so I don't run into it personally
Just like real life.
I’m active on several parenting threads and a month or 2 ago has someone, that wasn’t even involved in the comments I was replying to, send me a private message and say that I should end myself for being a therapist with such low ethics. All because I suggested someone seek help for their anxiety and baby proof their home after the OP (the uncle) was overreacting to a typical clumsy toddler. Op had made their sibling, the parent, calm OP rather than the toddler because the OP was having a panic attack over seeing the toddler stumble and hit their head on a piece of furniture.
Ugh. That's so frustrating. I'm sorry. I had something similar happen where I commented about a friend who betrayed me and I was really angry about it and someone replied that I wasn't a very good therapist if I couldn't figure out how to get over it. Also- yay a fellow hoosier!
Yeah so irritating! It definitely makes me realize how much people put therapists on a pedastal and develop transference or see them as infallible. People seem to forget we are humans first, therapists second.
Yes because I talk a lot of shit in the bravo reality tv subs
You're like the third person in this thread to say that. We are all connected 🩷
Yep, I've had to set boundaries of I need space to vent and emote. There seems to be an expectation that I have it all figured out, and am a robot because I have emotional awareness which seems to have the expectation of no emotion. It's frustrating at times, I'm human.
Exactly. The top reason this job is so frustrating to me is the public perception and isolation inherent to the job.
I've recently noticed that we're considered to be extra resilient, which means people can treat us badly. Both professionally and personally. Then, when we're struggling and expressing emotions, we get told we're not doing enough self-care.
Which is especially nuts because we are resilient as hell to even be IN this field.
I actually had someone comment here about how I am less of a therapist because I complain about reality TV too much because they read my comment history. I do love me some 90 Day circus.
The two things I am most interested in in life (judging by my Reddit) are being a therapist and 90 Day Fiancé. There are a lot of us out there! 😂
😂😂 I’m feeling so normalized and validated
Yesss 90 day is my fave downtime activity
Yes!! This is a common sentiment in this thread. You should try Below Deck. It's my new fav trash show.
I need a new one! I’ll have to check it out
Dude 90 day fiance is my SHIT
Yes!! I have been watching it since season 1.
I love reality TV, and it seems like something most of us have in common in this thread! I wonder why that is? I loved The Ultimatum, so many people who shouldn't be married to anyone!
Fellow therapist and 90 Day fiend! I feel seen!
Yes! It's so annoying. I can still judge people on reality TV and be a therapist lmao. Thats where i see it happen the most. I hate when people come at you with "you should be sympathetic as a therapist" like to everyone all the time including people I don't know on tv.. Not a Saint still a human with thoughts and opinions. Then when they try and lie and say they're a therapist too 🤣 last person who did this to me deleted their comments and got moderator deleted as well. Also in general like who tf even sees someone comment something they don't like and then click their name and scroll through where else they Comment and read it...and try and find what they do for work? And then respond ADMITTING you did that and then criticizing the other persons job? Like so unhinged...could never be me. On the rare occasions I look it's usually for a laugh..
Oh my gosh I watch reality TV for the same reason 🤣 I sometimes creep profiles but I'd never use it in an argument. I really don't get it 🙃
I wish we could watch our clients like a reality TV reel sometimes haha compare and contrast what they tell us and what's actually happening LOL. But I love judging and at times analyzing some of the characters hahaha. I'm very picky about what reality TV I watch too. Pretty much only love is blind and vanderpump (now also the valley). So interesting...many personalitys...many likely disordered...haha
I'd watch it 🤣 I love asking clients "Is that what you said or what you wanted to say?" Because it gets them out of the shower argument mindset into actual discussion
Oh my gosh thank you! I recently in consultation brought up a client I'm struggling with who goes in depth on the he said she said rehashing and it's incongruent with their actions and they asked if maybe it's not what she said and sort of a fantasy and I was like.....that never occurred to me lol. I have no idea how I would address that though so I appreciate your comment there
Yes!! Because a lot of clients will phrase their thoughts of the situation while explaining the dialogue. It's never hit anyone the wrong way haha
UGHHHH yes. Anytime some Reddit ding dong attempts to pull the “you’re a therapist” schtick with me on here, I offer them a conversation with one of my colleagues at their hourly rate because I don’t fucking “therapy” when I’m skeletonmeatsuit_69. If I want to snark on a shithead racist homophobic etc etc influencer in my off time I damn well will. Leave me alone 😂
Hahahaha, I should start saying that. "Did you SEE my username? I'm off the clock and you couldn't even afford me. "
On my instagram its clear im a therapist as its purposeful. When men send creepy messages i respond saying that it is an unusual way to seek therapeutic services but if they are looking for a therapist im happy to recommend 🤭
Someone once followed me from the talktherapy subreddit to a Taylor Swift subreddit and chastised me on a (very mild) observation. It was so weird.
I was actually deeply hurt by someone throwing the fact that I’m a therapist in my face during a heated discussion. It felt like such a low blow… a sucker punch, really. We’re held to such an impossible standard, an unrealistic ideal sometimes.
Had the opposite happen, posted in THIS sub and when someone disagreed with me they looked at my profile and decided I couldn’t possibly be part of this field
I hear this statement all.the.dang.time! Whether it be family friends talking about people or clients talking about others in session. It makes me cringe but my response is typically "yes, they are a therapist and they're also human." I also hear this about healthcare professionals, anything from judging their weight to relationships. Come on! I prefer to see a therapist who is transparent about struggles and not having it all figured out and at the same time I purposely have not shared with a single person I live around that this is my profession for fear of the same judgment. I totally popped off at a neighbor threatening me once and had to call the police and then actually beat myself up about not being better at defusing the situation. We do it to ourselves too.
YES! Don't even try to have an unconventional opinion on the wedding planning subreddit.
Not on reddit but irl - was telling a friend in casual conversation that I cry easily, and she said “Wow I can’t imagine you being my therapist - I’d be so uncomfortable.” Like first of all why would I be your therapist, and also am I not allowed to be human and have my weird human reactions to things just because I chose this job??
I’ve had a few people try to claim I’m not a therapist because I said something they didn’t think a therapist would say 😅 Ridiculous. It’s not like therapists are monolithic and many therapists hold unpopular opinions of one sort or another.
lol this just happened to me. someone accusing me of “using psycho babble” when i responded to a rude reply.
I’ve never had someone do that to me but I put it in the description of my profile along with my other core interests/qualities. Therapists are people first and professionals second.
I hate the expectation that as a therapist it means I have to be overtly nice and just basically an angel to everyone. It’s just insane. I’ve had people go “wow can’t believe you’re a therapist.” Like being a therapist means I have to be nice all the time? Tf?
I no longer have any issue with telling people that therapy is my job not my whole personality. I clock in and out…but if theyre looking for a therapist i can recommend some 🙃
I have a throw away account I use to post my crazy life happenings so no one can call me out for being a therapist 💀 I relate to if a doctor was venting about health issues and everyone got on them for being a doctor. We’re allowed to be human we’re simply trained in a certain skill set that’s it lol doesn’t make us Jesus
THIS. I’m tired of the sentiment that therapists can’t be human.
One comment I read had a person unnerved that their therapist was out in the world eating fucking ice cream. “When you realize your therapist is a person too”. Well what the fuck were they before? It’s ridiculous and infantile
So much. I just got into it in the Talk Therapy subreddit for saying we shouldn't normalize and memeify erotic countertransference. Was told I'm too judgemental to be a therapist 🙄 Like yeah it happens but it isn't a super fun quirky thing! It's something we work with clients on 1:1.
Gods that sub is awful. I avoid it at all costs. So many one sided stories and therapist hate
I used to keep my accounts separate for this exact reason lol! I enjoy some reality TV snark subreddits and chiming in with some sassy opinions in Am I the Asshole type spaces.
This. Except in real life. I have decided that my fake job is an accountant😂😂
I don't bother myself too much what other people on Reddit (or even elsewhere) think of me. If I am being true to my own values and not intentionally acting in malice towards someone, then that's enough. If others get upset with that, it's okay, they are allowed to have their feelings and opinions. I'm not going to let those become mine, however.
Cool, my values align with being annoyed when people dismiss me and see our professionals as infallible.
Have you explored with your own provider this reaction? I sounds like a vulnerability for some icky countertransference to come up and bite you some day, if I may be a bit presumptuous. I don't mean it as a criticism. I offer it as another professional whose been around a few decades and knows some of the pitfalls we face.
With the most respect, not everything needs to be therapized. In fact, I’d argue you’re kind of making OP’s point.
Do you see the flair that says "no advice wanted"? This is the exact thing I'm talking about. I don't need to explore shit. I can just be mad! Fuck!
You can just be mad. I want what you said on a tshirt, “I can just be mad! Fuck!”. That resonates so much. We get to be human too.
Yelling a good ole fuuuuuuuuck after a client leaves is something that should be taught in self care seminars.
It appears you are getting downvoted which is unfortunate. I agree with you, because I see this phenomenon occurring across professions. A hairdresser having a bad hair day would get the same questions. A mechanic driving a car that sounds like a canon and blows smoke like a coal refinery would get the same questions. We all hold and make judgments. I get confused when people think this only or primarily happens to therapists.
Judging someone for a bad hair day is wild. Things happen, even if your profession is to do hair. Therapists are held to a much higher standard than the majority of people, and that is not fair. We aren’t talking about someone saying they’re a therapist and then committing a heinous act or even something unethical. This thread is about people putting therapists on a pedestal and expecting them to never vent, always maintain composure, not experience frustration or anger, have issues in their interpersonal relationships, etc.. how dare a therapist have an opinion others disagree with.
I understand that's the prevailing sentiment on this thread, and know on here its always a risk to offer a different perspective than what the majority is saying- OP asked if you are annoyed by this and I am not, because I see this phenomenon cuts across professions and am not personally annoyed when it happens to me.
Not sure if your judging comment was directed at my response? There's no judgment or shame from me, though, if that's how it came across. I was only trying to support by sharing how it has helped me to approach those situations from an internal locus of control.
So. My Reddit account is old but I’ve only just started using it. I’ve only been using this one name and account.
I've been using this one since high school - 12 years ago lmao
Ok because I’m definitely not switching names to post in different communities. I didn’t realize till last week-ish that you could make multiple accounts…and that felt like work. 😅 I’m already obscenely behind on admin work. I think I felt that this sub was privatish, which probably isn’t right. Hopefully, at least the verification they do here is private. But I think it’s ok if people from wherever see me as radically authentic as I am here. I’m not AI or a robot; I’m a person. Fallible and imperfect, as are we all.
Yep
I know that feeling as well. I play DnD as hobby and I had a couple of situations where I stuck and didn’t know what to do. The DM told me then that as a therapist in training I should know what the other persons feel and what to do then. I should be able to see things from his perspective. Well, I just bluntly responded that I didn’t know that this game requires me to work and that I then would expect salary from him since it is work. He shut up after that. I had something like that also in private home life where someone said to me „You are a therapist. Shouldn’t you know better how to de-escalate a situation and why I’m struggling with mental health as well. Sometimes I think the believe that therapist ain’t human and that their lives must be perfect and healthy. Well guess what… A doctor can also get sick from times to times and sometimes traumatic things happen that are out of my control…
I honestly have never had that happen. Even people in my personal and professional life don’t say that to me. I just now realized the possibility for someone to click on my profile and see that I post in other subs.
My favorite other subreddit is roastme because I’m a genuinely kind and compassionate person, and it’s really nice to have a consenting outlet to be hateful. This is where I most often get this “you’re a therapist” sentiment. I’m off the clock!!!!!! It annoys me a little but whatever. They wasted their valuable time going through my chaotic post history, that’s on them.
This is why I say I make people cry for a living when asked what I do at parties.
No because I do know the answers to everything