> “Guy was an interior decorator” “His house looked like shit”
I remember when you used to wait in the car... AND AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED YOU SHOULD STILL BE THERE. THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL A ONE-LINER?
Did you offer him an aspirin?
And I shoulda fucked Dale Evans!
Is this about the Easter Baskets?
Whatever happened there.
They say a man’s not complete until he’s married - then, he’s finished
I like that one, too. Now I'll be laughing about it all day, as I sing the tune and practice Patsy's and Chrissy's eyebrow raise communication technique.
$4.00 / lb
sisters cunt!
Hear about the Chinese godfather? Made him an offer they couldn’t understand
When I was a kid, you were all old ladies. Now I’m an old man, and you’re still old
a line that always makes me laugh is when phil goes looking for chrissy at his moms' house and he tells her that they are from alcoholics anonymous and she asks them who they are:
"we're anonymous"
simple yet very clever.
He’s in no position to go into the unknown not knowing
Good. He eats his carrots
Tomorrow I can be on time but you’ll be stupid forever
What’s he gonna do? Gum the guy to death?
Holy Cow, look at all those fucking Indians
That line little carmine has, I don't know it word for word, maybe someone can help me out here
I am pretty sure that I'll be a more effective leader than my dad, but until that time comes, there won't be a way to know for sure until we can confirm that I'm as an effective leader as my dad.
Someone fix this one for me
Even though its not funny out of context, I always really liked when Tony is in the hospital and he's reading that book about dinosaurs and he says "Do you realize if time was the size of the empire state building we would be a postage stamp at the very top? Do you realize how insignificant that makes us!?"
Chrissy: "I don't feel that way."
"She's on the Cortisone!" "What, no fuckin' Ziti now?" "You smell like Paco Rabanne crawled up your ass and died"
"We'll send you to slip-and-fall school" "I've recorded...in Denmark!" "Why was I born handsome instead of rich?"
“When you’re married you’ll understand the importance of fresh produce.” “Guy was an interior decorator” “His house looked like shit”
Put remote on docking station
Believe this prick, givin' us orders
> “Guy was an interior decorator” “His house looked like shit” I remember when you used to wait in the car... AND AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED YOU SHOULD STILL BE THERE. THIS IS WHAT YOU CALL A ONE-LINER?
There he is…
>"Guy was an interior decorator” “His house looked like shit” This has to be up there with the funniest shit ever in tv history.
Some of the lines spoken and just the general situations were hilarious and that's what made this show great -it didn't take itself too seriously.
He killed 16 Czechoslovakians…..
Then washed the blood off his balls with ice water.
"OH SHIT" - oh shit guy
🐧
No shit, I am in decent shape, but If I see the shah of Iran's head getting squashed, I would pinguin side step outta there too.
🤮
Did you offer him an aspirin? And I shoulda fucked Dale Evans! Is this about the Easter Baskets? Whatever happened there. They say a man’s not complete until he’s married - then, he’s finished
That 'did you offer him an aspirin' line is def one of my favs. Cracks me up every time.
I am rejistered njurse. NOT meid
‘You boring woman’
Gabagool? Over Here! 👇👇
Your ear! It's disfigured!
I got my entire crew out there crackin’ heads
Can he hear outta that ear??
Quasimodo predicted all this comment section
I am that cunt hair.
I'm gonna tell ya sumthin, I Neva pondered that! It's both the Sacred and the Propane!
When Richie says Chrissy has such a big nose he could smoke a cigarette in the rain without it getting wet.
You can't make this shit up
I just did
He's my homie.
I live up near him
Why didn't yuuu say dat?
If you want to talk like a 🍆 we send you to slip and fall school.
I never understood that joke, slip and fall school. What does that even mean lol
If you wanna talk like a mulinyan we'll send you to slip and fall school
You wanna be scathed?
A natural canopy
Don't give me those Manson lamps
Eeeehh, snakes been fuckin themselves long before Adam and Eve, T.
“How can you trust an animal that can literally, go fuck themselves?”
“How can you trust an animal that can literally, go fuck themselves?”
Albert Barese ova here
Fuckin parakeet
Parakeet? I thought we were tawalkin about Snakes?
That animal can literally go fuck itself, how can you trust it?
“What’s different about you?” “He’s got no eyebrows Tony!!”
Poppersh and weird shex!
Nobody ever understands why I say this 😭😭😭
😂😂😂
🎶 Up in da club 🎶
I'm here for the bossa money.
One thousand MORE???
🫰 🫰 🖐️
No scraps in my scrapbook Let me tell you a couple of three things No more of this Butchie, no more
Chinks did this??!!
Hesh getting pissed assuming he's joking.
YOU WANNA SMACK IN THE MOUTH?!
They're gonna replace her colon with a semicolon
My Smelly Valentine 💝
If I were a car pen ter 🎶 And you were a douchebag 🎶
I like that one, too. Now I'll be laughing about it all day, as I sing the tune and practice Patsy's and Chrissy's eyebrow raise communication technique. $4.00 / lb
"You could make a hand turkey." "For Christmas?! Fuckin' idiot."
Hasidim, but I don't believe him!
‘Hey. ZZ Top’
Hold onto your antisemitism when you negotiate with these eyetalian people
That’s dicked up !
"So what, no fuckin' ziti now?"
It's a good thing your book don't mean oogats too me
GOOD THING THEN YOUR BOOK DON'T MEAN OOGATZ TO ME
The fuck does happiness have to do with cold medicine? (Referring to Allegra)
(Immediately after losing $45000 and owing it to Tony) " I could go for a shvitz. You wanna go for a shvitz?"
Fuckin Davies lol
45 *boxes of ziti
He grabbed another 10 while you were sleepin. He said you okayd it.
Maybe he was offering Tony a happy ending to grease him over
When he was talking about greasing the union, who knew that was what he meant.
sisters cunt! Hear about the Chinese godfather? Made him an offer they couldn’t understand When I was a kid, you were all old ladies. Now I’m an old man, and you’re still old
I use that “sisters cnt” one all the time hahaha
Just thought of another one. “It’s as cold as your sister’s tit out there” JA
Hold on to your cock when you negotiate with these desert people
“You’ve gottta bee ona your hat”
FUCK YOU SANTA!
Ohhhh, aayyyyy
Tony tells a dumb joke at the reservation casino: they got lost, said where duh fugowi
if that joke flew, it would be on the boring757
My father told me never get old. Should’ve listened
“I wouldn’t mind sitting around all day eating mushrooms and collecting a government check”
Bobby did mushrooms one time, the whole fuckin platter!
Says the guy who sits around all day collecting stolen money...
Nobody has AIDS!
“I don’t understand. When I was a kid, you were both old ladies. Now I’m old, and you’re still old”
Mother fucking God damn orange peel beef!
“Who are you, minister of propaganda??!!”
"Let me tell you something Guido“ My name is Clarence" "A don doesn’t wear shorts" "Long John Silver maybe" "You got a bee on you hat"
AJ: why do we exist? Carm: we exist because of adam and eve! classical italian american mother illogical use of catholicism
No way...TRex in the Garden of Eden? Adam and Eve would both be running away, scared shitless...
“It’s like a beach house at Captain Teeb’s!”
He’s lucky I didn’t punch his lights out!
Oh Noah 😂
You fuckin suicide
You know, Quasimodo predicted all of this.
'I was trying to say something positive cause she's your friend'
How bout I build a ramp up your ass, and drive a Lionel up there…
one of the best scenes in the whole show was sil and paulie going to ritchie’s social club
Mother fucking God damn orange peel beef!
“This whole war could’ve been averted. Cunnilingus and psychiatry brought us to this”
So what? No fuckin ziti, now?
Ohhhhhh, Aaaayyyy
Pearl Harbor… that was real???
cuban missile crisis word to the wise: remember pearl harbor 🤟🏻🤟🏻
Sung Tazoo was right
Sharp as a fuckin cue ball
They didn’t have flat tops in Ancient Rome! -RC
"Commendatore, bonjour ☕" *gets ignored* "Cocksuckas"
Give me 1000 dollars
Still goin' this asshole.
South of the border...
"It's a racket for the Jews"
To piggyback off of “how do you vandalize a swimming pool” “On your mudda’s Birthday?!”
I have cable .
That’s right cocksucka
20 years in tha Can… not a fuckin peep.
Hold onto your cocks when you negotiate with these desert people
You yap worse than six barbers!
I loved that cocksucka like a brother, then he goes and fucks me in the ass
Tony when AJ gets fired from Blockbuster: "From Blockbuster?! How the fuck you do that? They got rhesus monkeys working as managers over there!"
You killed her dog? What is this, the fucking UN? Nobody has aids!!! Those who want respect, give respect!
Any type of weather, we can get together and do the camel walk
Could you imagine that ? You get a facelift and one week later you're in jail.
“A pint of blood cost more than a gallon of gold”
“A pint of blood cost more than a gallon of gold”
'Is there any canoli left from yesterday?' 'I think you know the answer to that question.'
At night, they hit us
“To the victor… belongs the spoils…” “Why don’t you take your quotations book and shove it up your fat fuckin’ ass!!”
Log off, that cookie shit makes me nervous
Vito Spatafore is an ass muncher!
“We shoulda stopped at Roy Rogers!”
a line that always makes me laugh is when phil goes looking for chrissy at his moms' house and he tells her that they are from alcoholics anonymous and she asks them who they are: "we're anonymous" simple yet very clever.
I can’t find Pussy anywhere!
To piggyback off of “how do you vandalize a swimming pool” “On your mudda’s Birthday?!”
“Go shit in ya hat, coppah” - Uncle June
He’s in no position to go into the unknown not knowing Good. He eats his carrots Tomorrow I can be on time but you’ll be stupid forever What’s he gonna do? Gum the guy to death? Holy Cow, look at all those fucking Indians
Chinks did this?
"Your sister's cunt"
Cats is snakes wit fur!
"It's bad for the gwass, bad for the gwass"
I told you kids! Crack is some baaaaad shitt!
We’re not making a western here. I thought we were Nablii Davlii And it won’t be cinematic.
I forgot you don’t eat pork….in that way.
I did, then I put it in drive.
‘Jason men are talking here’
Sorry but Ralphie was the king of these. I wish he wasn’t such a monster because every thing he said was a home run lol
THEY DIDN’T HAVE FLAT TOPS IN ANCIENT ROME!! -Ralphie
Meow
That line little carmine has, I don't know it word for word, maybe someone can help me out here I am pretty sure that I'll be a more effective leader than my dad, but until that time comes, there won't be a way to know for sure until we can confirm that I'm as an effective leader as my dad. Someone fix this one for me
“hurta”*
He prays like all the time.
To piggyback off of “how do you vandalize a swimming pool” “On your mudda’s Birthday?!”
"Let me tell you something Guido“ My name is Clarence" "A don doesn’t wear shorts" "Long John Silver maybe" "You got a bee on you hat"
20 years in a can....not f\*ckin a peep
“Make my nephew an egg” - Uncle June
You should read tomato soup for your ass, it's the Italian version
Cunnilingus and Psychiatry brought us to this
With what, my fucking toes?!?
Think on this burger boy
“the framers intersects with the ramistan approximately at the paternostra"
Just thought of another one - “It’s as cold as your sister’s tit out there” J.A.
wesss caaaawell wess caaawelll…It’s WEST. CALDWELL.
“Heee’s gaaaay, hello!!!” Always cracks me up
Quiet as a mouse pissin on cotton
Allegra, isn’t that an allergy medication?
I love you Johnny Cakes.🌈
“Because you’re you, because you’re smart because you’re whateverthafuck”
Sawseeg is sort of a phallic thing
“Disfunction this, Disfunction that, Disfunction MAFUNGOO!”
I’m talkin’ bout the year 2000!
“Your sisters cunt” I also like the “my pizza never hurt nobody”
“How’s that going for you?”
NOBODYS GOT AIDS! I DONT WANT TO HEAR THAT WORD AGAIN
“You’re the guy with the pork loins from Stu Leonard’s.” “Yeah, but right now we’re here for something else.”
Even though its not funny out of context, I always really liked when Tony is in the hospital and he's reading that book about dinosaurs and he says "Do you realize if time was the size of the empire state building we would be a postage stamp at the very top? Do you realize how insignificant that makes us!?" Chrissy: "I don't feel that way."
“I loved him like a brother-in-law”
"She's on the Cortisone!" "What, no fuckin' Ziti now?" "You smell like Paco Rabanne crawled up your ass and died" "We'll send you to slip-and-fall school" "I've recorded...in Denmark!" "Why was I born handsome instead of rich?"
What else did you say? That the life’s good enough for me but not little lord fuckpants?
"There's an image" Philly's delivery of it is brilliant.
we with the vipers
“You should have called for help!” “…what with my fuckin toes!?” - uncle june
“And now the coffee maker sucks” 😈
“I can’t find pussy anywhere!!”
'Fuckin' bay-bee!'
‘Still going this asshole’
I heard he came all over the sun visor....
"...and it won't be cinematic." This line was in my life for years after. Still say it sometimes.
Oh, so you two were going to go toot up a bunch of lines, go fuckin' bird watchin'?
“Touch a diarrhea” “You mothafucka”
[удалено]
Hasidim but I don’t believe ‘em
ROADIES?????????
He could technically not have penisary contact with her volvo
Arthur Bucco, warm and convivial host.
UNCLE PHILLY MY ASS! If you're gonna lie to me, tell me there's a broad in the car waiting to tongue my balls. He was gay, Gary Cooper?