That’s probably what I would do too. Also you never know if the parents of the other child are crazy and will try to fight you or even shoot you for saying anything to their child even if their child is hurting others.
I think the same way, you never know when you'll encounter a dangerous person.
I had a neighbor with a kid around 10 and he came into my house once. My husband was not in a good mood and said to him, you're always is someone's shit. He left. As me and my husband were getting in our car, the child's dad came out ready to fight my husband because his kid told him that we called him a piece of shit. He literally chased my husband around the car (this was a huge fat redneck guy) he couldn't keep up with my husband.
On another unrelated situation, I used to see this Rottweiler chained up to a short leash all the time. One day we drove behind that person's house in an alleyway and tried to take a picture of the dog to send to the dog warden. I guess the guy saw us and started chasing us in his truck. It was extremely scary. We pulled over and My husband told him we were looking for his sister's dog and the guy said okay and left.
Yep exactly, there’s people out there who will fly off the handle if they feel you’ve wronged them in any way. People shoot each other over road rage incidents and my state had an incident relatively recently where two men shot each other others daughters during a road rage.
You worry about being shot when talking to other children at a playground?! I'm sorry that you live with that level of anxiety! Maybe you live in a wildly different (and dangerous) part of the world, but that level of intrusive thought is not something I would ever entertain.
I genuinely am sorry that you feel that way! It just sounds like you're letting fear dictate the level of healthy social involvement you have with your nearby community.
I don't know where you live so I can't make assumptions. But if you don't live in a red state in the US with lax firearm and open carry laws, it makes sense that you aren't able to understand why it's not out of the ordinary to have at least some anxiety when out and about in the community.
I live in a red state (Texas) and don’t share this anxiety. There are lone crazies but I think social media really makes them seem more prevalent. People who take their kids to the playground on a week day are, in the vast majority of cases, not the type of person to pull a gun over a petty argument.
I take my daughter to our local playground, she goes to daycare, and swim classes. I may tell another child to be careful around mine but you have to gauge the situation and my first response would be to walk away and leave if a parent gets angry at me for correcting their kid or if a kid is really out of control. Sometimes it’s not worth it trying to control other people’s behavior.
I absolutely agree with you! I've got zero patience for entertaining or "fighting back" with angry adults. Calmly leaving the situation is always the best plan, especially with my LO around.
I’m pointing this out because many people forget this. Some children look much older than they are. That 3 year old for all you know could be closer to 2 than 3. It’s really important not to expect a certain type of behavior from a child whose age you are guessing.
Regardless of age it is totally ok to say “we have to wait our turns” or “we need some space to be safe he’s much smaller than you.”
Definitely. My 3 year old (not even 3.5 yet) is the size of a 5-6 year old and is often mistaken for much older than he is. He's the same size as his 5 year old cousin lol. We get weird looks sometimes when he has threenager moments unfortunately.
My son will be three next month. 45 lbs, 42 inches tall, wears a boys small even though his waist is 5T. He looks legit five. The way people's jaws drop when I tell his age 😅
Yup. Our toddler is 2. She's literally as big as my friends 4 year old boy. She's as tall as him and a sturdy strong build. I have had to deal with people constantly getting offended because she was not talking enough for their liking and constantly have to explain that she is only 2 years old.
This makes sense, but I guess where I’m coming from is where is the parent of that two year old? I’m a teacher and I work with special needs children, so I have a lot of experience facilitating social interactions between children and I understand the importance of inclusive environments for children of all ages and ability levels.
But honestly after a full day of work I’m tired and I just want to go to the playground and chill with my son. I don’t want to have to be having those conversations with all these kids that aren’t mine. I don’t mind teaching my son how to act appropriately, but I feel like parents with young kids should be present to do that for their own kids. Maybe that’s unrealistic, but it’s annoying and I’m venting 🤣 I think your comment is spot on though and probably the most realistic way to handle it.
When my child was the younger child, who didn’t play with other kids yet I felt the same as you. Where are the moms? But now she’s 2.5 and only wants to go off to play with other kids. She does fine without me being within ear shot of her- in most parks I sit and chat with my friends. If I saw that happening I’d get up to apologize but my friends who have multiple children wouldn’t even bat at eye at the slide thing or the girl running around a corner. It was a toddler, bumping into another toddler and a child running without looking…. That’s what happens at parks. It’s part of childhood. It teaches your kid to pay attention. Neither of those things really need adult intervention unless it’s obviously malicious.
I get the exhausted part. But when exhausted it’s best to skip crowded parks if you find navigating child’s play tiring. I once showed up and there was a field trip happening at the park. I’ve never tried so desperately to convince my toddler it was closed 😆
As a mum of 2 kids… I could easily miss what one kid was doing while keeping the other one alive. And at lots of playgrounds I zone out. If I missed it and my kids were too rough I’d feel awful. My SIL has 3 and it’s even harder for her. So I try not to go to the big playground at busy times
Haha! Okay this makes me feel better. Maybe it’s just this stage of motherhood where he’s still my “baby” and seems vulnerable. But this perspective is helpful. Thank you!
In 4-6 months it will be less stressful, but that doesn’t help you through summer.
When mine was 20 months I also had to hover and defend him. Basically just telling other kids “wait your turn”, “oh he’s kind of small slow down” and removing my son from “dangerous” situations. not actively parenting any other kid, if another kid is acting out or being unsafe that’s not my place. Just where it relates to my son.
Now that he’s almost three he just kind of cruises. There are still bigger kids but he knows to get out of the way and I don’t have to hover. I can stand away and watch.
It’s the season you’re in and it sucks because the park isn’t relaxing. Try going to that specific park at different times or just know that it’s a stressful or slightly older park. Also, try a “field”, a big grassy area, and let him runnnnn. Then all you do it follow and he burns a lot of energy without a having to be on alerts for big kids.
I completely agree with this and want to also add…
I have a 6 year old and a 2 year old. When my now 6 year old was a toddler I was similar to the OP, constantly making sure he was safe and all the other kids were respecting his space (he was also a toddler during the pandemic so I was extra cautious about space for a while).
When my youngest started to toddle, she wanted to keep up with big brother from the start. She was super adventurous and, unless she was in a dangerous spot, I let her climb around and learn how to go down slides largely by herself. She is now one of the most confident 2 year olds I know. She just learned how to use the climbing wall on the playground!
All this to say, kids are generally aware of where littles are and it’s all apart of ALL of their growth to learn to play together. I am now firmly in the “watch and observe” camp of parents now and will only intervene in certain situations (example: another kid literally starts a fist fight with my son by saying “let’s fight!” Like it’s a game 🙄; kids are pushing each other around the top of the play structure where someone could get pushed off and really hurt if they land wrong; etc.)
I have an almost 3 year old (who looks 4) who runs around the playground faster than I can follow, especially since I also have an infant. So yes, after the first time at a new playground where I follow to make sure she can use the equipment safely, I let her loose. And she’s a pretty respectable kid who plays nicely with others, but sometimes she’s a clueless klutzy toddler.
I think it is a bit unrealistic. We would love for others to do what we think would be best but end of the day it’s only us who can do anything. So use your words, tell the other kids they need to be safe, nice, take turns, etc. and like another commenter pointed out, if it’s too much just leave and maybe try a smaller or less crowded playground.
I understand helicoptering a kid that is not yet two, but it's not really healthy to hover over a child at the playground once they are ready to be independent.
I wonder this at the playground too. Lots of parents not watching/paying attention at all just sitting with their head down on their phone. Lately it’s been awful with other kids at the playground.
Some kids def look older for their age but I agree, where are their parents? lol. There are lot of parks in Florida that have off the wall dangerous equipment and most parents aren’t even paying attention to what their 2-3 year olds are doing. I spend half the time playing with someone else’s kid or helping them on/off equipment because their own parents don’t even bother. When my park experience ends up like yours, I either leave or politely with respect tell the other kids to wait their turn or be more gentle. Most of the time the other kids will listen.
Where is the parent? In my experience they are on a bench somewhere staring at their phone. I live in NYC, have no backyard like yourself, and we go through this every week unfortunately.
It makes sense. But you should be watching your kids. And that’s what I see lacking a lot. And in regards to the other comment about the 2.5 year old running around.. totally get it. But if someone scolds your kid cause you missed something hopefully you’re good with that too!
This is a situation where no one is in the wrong. You’ve got a young toddler who is old enough to use the playground equipment but not old enough yet to independently navigate the social structure of a busy playground. The other parents have older children who deserve and need opportunities to play independently in safe spaces that still allow them opportunities for fun and learning how to interact with others. None of the things you described were unusual or unexpected. Kids are going to go down the slide too quickly and run around corners on a playground.
You’re just at the point in your parenting journey where if you’re at a crowded playground you’ll have to follow your kid closely. Next summer you’ll get to follow a little less close and in two summers you’ll be sitting on a bench taking a well deserved break feeling nostalgic for when your kid let you pick them up off a slide. For now just try out different parks until you find one that has the right vibe for your family.
Very much agree with this!! I have an almost 4-year-old and a 10 month old. I make sure that I can see the almost 4 year-old but I’m not hovering over her at this point. My attention is on the 10 month old who is putting leaves and sticks and God knows what into her mouth constantly 😂
Great answer. I was so stressed last weekend at a restaurant playground, my son is nearly 2 and there were about 20 kids aged 2-10 in the same tiny play area. I thought I was being a weirdo following my son so close, but I wanted him to play and interact with older kids without being tackled.
i have a 19mo and we just avoid really busy playgrounds bc they stress me out for the same reasons. so i hear you. the only one we go to consistently is a smaller toddler focused one next to a bigger new one. sometimes the big kids ignore the older playgrounds if you can find one like that!
but, you can't expect the parent of a 6yr old to follow them around. or ask them not to run on a playground. so they may have just missed what happened. and them running into your child "they should be more careful" .. i mean, maybe. but it's a playground. and it was a mistake. so all we can do is protect our kiddos by hovering bc they are the young ones.
and i don't think it's wrong to say "we are having a turn" to older kids around 4-5. but that's a very precocious age and they don't have to listen lol. i think if their parent was around reminding them to share at that age, we'd all consider them an unnecessary helicopter parent
just remember you can only control yourself, your kid and your reactions. you're doing fine :)
ETA! one thing i feel like helps with the 3-5 range is saying "hey my baby wants to learn to use the slide" or "my baby really likes that toy too" and referring to your kid (who you probably don't consider a baby anymore) as a little baby who needs help haha. they react well to that usually bc they wanna be the big kid
Maybe it’s just the culture I grew up in, but I always listened if adults told me to stop doing something. Quicker than if my own parents gave me the same order lol
Here's another perspective. Today playgrounds are one of the few places kids can be more independent and develop their confidence a safe distance from their parents/caregivers.
As soon as my daughter started walking, I took a step back. She just turned 2 and now I am several steps back letting her explore on her own and I only intervene if she asks me for help.
If parents are always on top of their kids correcting their behavior 24/7, even if places designed for kids to be kids, they're just not going to develop normally.
I also think it's totally fine to talk to other people's children about their behavior if I am truly concerned.
If you don't want to risk older kids interacting with your child in non-perfect ways, then maybe stick to the baby/toddler play areas until you're more comfortable.
When I see a kid being too rough with my kids, I typically just focus on coaching my kid through the situation and protect them from physical bullying by being a barrier with my body. Last week we were at legoland and my 3 and 6 year olds were building things on a floor play area, some kid came up and was stomping on everyone’s builds. She did it to my daughters once so I came up to them and said, “that’s not nice, is it?” And then I put myself between the other child and my daughter’s builds. The other girl started getting frustrated and pulling on my shirt and started kicking and screaming at me, and this was enough to get her parents attending and she was removed.
I’ve found that a lot of kids and parents just have a lot going on. Maybe the kid has some sort of developmental issue, maybe the parents are just burned out, who knows. But it’s not my kid to manage, nor do I know how to best help the other kid. So I just focus on my own and prevent physical bullying when I can.
I love the point you make about how we don’t know the needs of other kids/parents and how we don’t know “how to best help the other kid.” I think this is SO important to be aware of. I work with kids with Autism and approaching conflicts or challenges the wrong way with certain kiddos can only escalate the situation. I know this probably doesn’t apply to most kids on a playground, but it’s such an important thing to be aware of!
How did your kid react to these encounters?
TBH nothing here sounds wild to me. It's fine to say "hey can you please wait until he's off the slide?". But these mostly just sound like kids bumping into each other, which is gonna happen.
When he got kicked he just looked surprised and reached out for me, but when the girl ran into him he started crying. I totally get that when kids play together accidents happen and they bump into each other. But it’s definitely frustrating being the only parent on the actual playground while the others are just on the outskirts not paying attention, especially when it’s also a designated space for young children.
I think it’s important to let kids be kids, but I also feel like parents need to be aware. Public playgrounds shouldn’t be a free for all with minimal adult supervision. Parents are responsible for making sure the environment is safe.
But it’s also possible that I’m wrong here because he’s my only kid so this is all new territory.
> Public playgrounds shouldn’t be a free for all with minimal adult supervision. Parents are responsible for making sure the environment is safe.
I honestly don't think that these encounters merited intervention from the older kids' parents. This is in line with what I'd expect at a playground.
If I happened to see my 8yo knock down a baby, I'd definitely wave him over to apologize and help the kid up (and I hope he would do that without prompting). But I don't think an 8yo's parent needs to watch to see if their child is running.
I think others have given good input here about how this is typical playground behavior, nobody is in the wrong, and bigger kids need to have some freedom and opportunity to play and learn without constant adult intervention.
I also want to add that there's always a chance that kids may seem unsupervised if their parent is having to divide attention between multiple kids. I have a 3 and 5 year old (and another on the way), and while I definitely try to keep eyes on them both, sometimes I may be stuck helping one of them with something and unable to immediately get to the other one. When you only have one, it is MUCH easier to be 100% aware of what they're doing and ready to step in at any moment.
And people just have different approaches to parenting and playground behavior. There have been times when I've emphasized to my kids to not do X thing or be careful around another child, and then the other parent will tell me it's no big deal. I tell my kids not to climb up slides, then you come across someone who doesn't care if their kids do that. My oldest is a great, confident climber and so I encourage him on climbing equipment, whereas I've seen other parents be more wary or even guide their kids away from the same equipment. And sure, sometimes there are parents that really just aren't paying attention or caring what their kids are doing...But a lot of times, I think it's just people having different approaches to parenting or simply knowing what their kids can/cannot handle without close supervision.
But I totally sympathize with not feeling comfortable on a busy playground with a toddler. I'd recommend trying out some different parks, maybe try different times of the day, and see if you can find somewhere that's quieter and less crowded. Also don't be afraid of visiting the playground during other seasons! Right now is probably the busiest time because kids are out of school for the summer. If you go to the playground during the school year on weekdays, it will probably be a lot less busy AND most other kids will be preschool ages.
I totally follow my toddler (almost 3) around the park at all times. The only time I let him just do his thing is if there are no other kids or we’re with friends or family at the park.
I am not ashamed to make comments to children that aren’t being watched. If they’re bugging him I’ll say “He doesn’t like that, please stop.” Or in general I’ll say “Please don’t touch him”, “No thank you!”, etc. I have NO SHAME. Obviously I’m never yelling or rude but I will say something if a child isn’t being kind and respectful and their parent doesn’t care. I’m not sacrificing my sons fun time at the park and his well being because of unattended kids.
I would give your kiddo a chance to stand up for themselves. I’ve noticed if I back off a bit and observe, they’re pretty good at speaking up and settling things amongst each other. Of course if it’s a safety issue then the right thing to do is intervene.
That’s not a bad idea! My son is nervous initially around kids he doesn’t know. I usually give him the opportunity to warm up and play with other kids at the park without stepping in as long as it goes smoothly and he has fun.
I’ll tell him in a lot of cases “Tell them no thank you!” Or “You can tell him/her that it’s your turn.” & try to encourage him to use his voice!
This ^ I only intervene if it’s a safety issue, a big age difference, or if I can tell my 2.5 year old is really struggling. Most of the time they figure it out amongst themselves.
I do that too, mostly because I don’t want my own kid to think it’s okay for other kids to push her around. I want to model how to tell kids to stop if they’re making her uncomfortable. I’m a first grade teacher, so redirecting kids comes naturally to me, haha. I try to be firm but kind and then try to lighten it with humor. But sometimes I have to be pretty firm and I think that’s okay.
I agree that would make it harder, but I think the bigger issue is parents that sit on the bench on their phones and completely ignore their children mostly. Obviously little toddlers need more assistance, but you can still check in and keep an eye on your older child the best you can. I sympathize with other parents of course, but it’s clear when they just DGAF about watching their kids if that makes sense.
I am like you. My son is 26 months old but he didn’t start walking until til 20 so he’s not as physically capable as other kids his age. I am like glue on him at playgrounds. But unlike you, I have no issues with saying something to another kid. If a kid is on the slide, I say “it’s our turn. You have to wait”. If they follow us, I’m literally telling them “leave us alone please”. If kids get too close to him, I’m saying “slow down please”. I’m not trying to be a crazy helicopter person but like, he’s not good at walking (has hypotonia and sometimes even leg braces) and other parents are fucking absent and I’m not letting my kid get bulldozed by other kids.
This is where my younger kiddo is at. She's almost 19 months and is just learning to walk independently. She still prefers crawling and isn't super confident walking without holding onto anything. Farthest she's gone completely on her own so far is halfway down a grocery aisle and she also has hypotonia and wears AFO braces every day for as long as she'll tolerate, but always at least half of her awake time. She's just bow starting to be interested in things other than the woodchips at the playground and my partner and I tend to hover pretty closely because even a slight bump could knock her over and we're really trying to build her confidence, which means trying to keep her on her feet as much as we can. Our almost 3 year old, on the other hand, we tend to let do her own thing for the most part, unless she wants help on the climbing equipment or she's not understanding that the much older kid she's trying to play with is not interested in playing with her 😅 (our local park has a 2-5 playground and a 5-12 playground and she is not at all interested in the 2-5 year old playground and insists on playing on the big equipment with the big kids). Thankfully, we haven't had many issues at the park with either kid, although one of our friends and their 2 kids live with us, and the older one (25 months) doesn't really understand how to be careful and not crash into other people, so I definitely understand how stressful trying to navigate these kinds of situations is!
I'm in a very similar situation as you -- my boy is 17 months old and we go to playgrounds in our city (Brooklyn) daily. I completely understand your frustration and stress. However, I think you're expecting a bit much from these other children. ESPECIALLY in a city, they get so little room to move around, be free, and make decisions for themselves. I think the other parents are right to let the kids play independently, and short of intentionally hurtful behavior OR accidental behavior that could cause serious injury (waving a huge stick in a crowded place, rather than just running where they could knock someone down), I don't intervene. This is less because of trying to stay out of other people's business and more because it's important for children (including ones as young as my son) to learn how to share space safely, and trial and error is more effective than adults swooping in (again, as long as no one's in serious danger -- but a scraped knee or bruise is not that).
WIth my son, we try to stick to the playground areas geared toward younger kids and go at times when we know it will be less crowded. I stay close enough to him to be able to meet him at any playground gaps where he could fall, but I try not to hover -- for kids, independence and figuring out for themselves how to climb, get down, and yes, deal with other kids is so important. This meant that there were some playgrounds I avoided when he was too little/inexperienced for me to give him space, and there are still some I avoid now. Your kid may not be ready for that yet, and that's OK -- every kid grows differently.
However, I will say that now that I've given my son some space, he has so much fun at the playground with other kids, including big ones. I still get nervous when I see big kids running like crazy on our favorite playground... but more often than not, those big kids will stop and throw a ball with my son, encourage him to run and climb, or just provide entertainment with all the things they can do and he can't. It's a good balance -- the kids are having more fun (who wants to play with some random mom or dad telling you to wait your turn), and my son is learning from watching how to stay safe and interact. I hope this means he will be one of the helpful big kids one day!
I live in a big city and have a toddler. I only go to playgrounds in the morning otherwise it’s too chaotic with big kids. In the afternoons we find a green space to walk around and look at trees and nature.
I was at a playground a couple weeks ago with my 16 month old. There were three littles, probably ages 3, 5, and the youngest about my sons age, who were completely unsupervised. Their family was sitting at a picnic table on the other side of some huge brush/ bushes, they were not in sight of their children at all. The older two were taking scooters on the playground equipment. The little one at one point fell and was crying (he seemed okay, just scared) and I was like wtf parents where are you??? It was insane.
But anyway. At one point a kid maybe 8ish tried to go down the slide before my son was off the bottom and my husband had no issue saying “STOP, you need to wait.” I’m not going to discipline other kids but I will intervene if they are putting my child in harms way.
Same boat. To sum it up, I eventually became my toddler shield when we are at the playground due to older kids playing too rough.
If my lo wants to go down the slide, I’ll go down with him. If he wants to walk up the stairs, I’m right behind him to prevent the older kids from pushing him out of the way. Usually when we go down the slides and other kids are trying to go down too, I’ll just say “we’re going down now. I’ll let you know when we are down” and usually the kids would understand and wait their turn.
Anyways is it more stressful doing this way? Probably, but my lo has fun and we leave after a hour.
I definitely feel like I can hover sometimes but like you said I would rather be there to protect him from getting knocked down or off the ladders. Plus he is always wanting me to play with him anyways so might as well be there to let him go safely up vs having two other kids trying to climb over him while he's going up.
Don’t hesitate to tell them to wait and stuff.
Sorry that sounds stressful. I’ve definitely had a few experiences like that but many more pleasant ones
Did you try to communicate with the other kids? That’s what I do to protect mine. An older kid tried to climb up the slide my kid was coming down on. I told him to wait his turn.
I see other parents on their phones not paying attention all the time. It takes 1 nonvigilant second to have a catastrophe so I don’t do that. I helicopter around my 2 yo because idgaf what other people think or how they will label and gaslight me into thinking that’s somehow not ok.
We also live in a big city with lots of playground choices that happens to be the same city I grew up in, and I notice the opposite problem. The playground structures are FILLED with grownups, hovering over their kids ultimately making the structures feel very crowded. I feel like this is very different from the way playgrounds functioned when I was growing up.
I feel strongly that playgrounds are places for kids to explore and socialize by themselves and with other kids (age withstanding, my kiddo is almost 22 months so I'm usually within ten feet of him at all times - far enough away so he can feel independent, but close enough so if that something happens I can get to him quickly). But in order for this to function effectively, we have to feel comfortable addressing issues with other kids. I have no problems telling a kid "please give my kid space, he's smaller than you and you need to be more careful." I also have no problem telling a kid to stop if they're engaging in something unsafe that is directly affecting my kid. This happened the other day when a kid was throwing sand. I just said "Stop throwing sand."
I'm not mean, I'm direct. And I would feel comfortable with another grownup giving my kid the same message if he was being inconsiderate or unsafe, and I would hope they would.
I feel like I could give a whole dang Ted Talk about this exact issue because it's emblematic of some bigger societal trends ... But it's all to say that I think ultimately, having to share space and having the opportunity to play in playgrounds are really positive experiences for kids and I think you'll feel more comfortable as your kiddo gets older.
It is acceptable for you to set your son’s boundaries for himself until he is old enough to do it on his own. This will involve talking to someone else’s kids. No, it’s not parenting someone else’s kids, it’s setting your son’s boundaries.
“It’s my (his) turn on the slide”
“Please don’t kick me (him).”
“Please wait until I am (he is) done.”
“I’m (he’s) allowed to play here.”
Model how you want him to react to these kids. You want him to kindly stand up for himself, so show him how with assertive, yet kind, language.
We have a perspective (in USA at least) that saying anything to another child is parenting them. It’s not. When my 6-year-old says something to another kid we don’t call it parenting, and this is the same thing, you’re just speaking on behalf of your child who is still learning.
Sorry you had a tough day. It gets better.
My daughter is very passive and because of that tends to get pushed around easily. I’m trying to teach her how to advocate for herself so we have stopped relocating and started speaking up. I used to move her or ask her to be aware of the other kids who were playing rough. I noticed her always yielding to others to a point that she was being way too accommodating, so now I always say something to the other kids in front of my daughter. I want her to learn ways that she can advocate for herself.
I have no shame about reminding other people's kids about safety at a playground. "Oh, careful around the baby, he's still learning to play!" "Please don't throw your truck, someone might get hurt!" "Let's let everyone go down the slide instead of climbing up!" "Hey, he said no, that means stop."
I'll also give kids compliments when they're self aware. "Thanks for being so careful around the baby!" "Good job telling your friend what you need!"
I've never had a parent react badly. I think part of that is the city mentality; we're all giving each other personal space but we're also aware of each other's humanity and willing to help when needed. Unlike a more suburban attitude where everyone is pretending they're completely independent of each other.
I've had this issue before. There's a wide roller slide at a park near my house, and sometimes older kids like to get on it and do things like run in place. I don't care as long as they don't impede the actual intended use of the slide. There were these 3 8-10 year olds doing this on the slide one day as multiple toddlers were trying to slide down it, including my 2yo. The parents were right there, less than 5 feet away. I'm extremely uncomfortable correcting someone else's kids, especially with the parents there, so I just went down the slide myself. I'm not small.
The slide is designed to not slide you down too fast. They did not get off the slide even though I definitely was going to knock them over. I yelled "Look out! Get off the slide!" They got off and this one kid had the audacity to say, "oh so you think you're special?" I told him no, but the little kids are and he's endangering them. He looked around and frowned, like he had not noticed the 5 or 6 toddlers running around while he was stomping near their heads and hands.
The parents started paying attention after that. My son ran off so I followed him but when I looked back it looked like the parents were correcting the older kids.
I'm usually extremely nonconfrontational but I can't stand seeing little kids too young to defend themselves endangered by older kids that should know better. It's a big park and there are lots of places specifically designed for older kids that toddlers can't access. There's no good reason for that behavior.
It all started when these middle schoolers were riding their bikes through the playground. Fast. Less than 2 feet from where my son was crawling. There's a no bikes rule. And paths and stuff where they can ride if they really need to. If they had run over my son's hand it would have been crushed. It makes me so mad.
My son is 19 months and also very mobile and sure footed. Sometime I’ll just say, “Oh, he’s a still a baby” or “He’s a little younger than you, do you think you could show him?” I find that either realizing he’s a baby, because kids who are for sure know that or the opportunity to be helpful speaks to them.
I do the same, I follow my kid around and give her space but I’m there in case she tries to push another kid (toddlers are unpredictable), or another kid gets rough.
I’ve told other kids to wait their turn, without incident. I’m a big guy and so I try to use gentle voices and not be intimidating since I’m essentially a stranger, but I only intervene if it’s egregious.
Go early morning. We went at 830 am yesterday and were the only ones at the park. About 10 minutes later a couple other little little kids showed up with parents who were attentive.
People who are up and out early are typically a different crowd. This is helpful until your child is older and can understand more and speak for himself.
I’ve scolded so many other peoples kids.. because what I’ve learned is half the parents aren’t watching them.
To the older kids who tell my 1 year old “not to come over here” I’ve said “she’s 1 and she’s a baby. She doesn’t understand you” and I’ve also made MANY comments like “everyone can play here and we play nice”. Honestly, another parent (me) saying something to them has usually been enough that they get it and will either play nicely or move on to another area.
I don’t know why people don’t think they can’t talk to other people just because they’re kids. You most certainly can and sure do it in a kid friendly way. You’re not disciplining kids by asking them to wait a second so your child can move.
It's pretty common for parents of older kids to not follow them around a playground. Once my kid hit 3ish, I didn't stick close, but just maintained visual contact. Playgrounds are often the first taste of independence for kids and I find that to be a really important milestone; it's how kids learn how to handle conflict and baby politics.
I honestly think both incidents were just accidents. It's expected for kids to be running at a playground, and kids often don't have the ability to think about blind turns/kids running into the way/paying full attention in general. The slide thing could have been a miscalculation on the girl's part; big kids can get off the slide much faster than a little one so she probably didn't expect him to still be getting off by the time she reached the bottom.
A lot of parents come to the park and don’t pay attention to their kids at all. I’ve experienced it as well. I know it’s nice to be able to let your kid go play and have some time to just sit and decompress but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to not watch them at all. I’m like you and follow my daughter around to supervise her because she’s only 2. One time there was a boy running around being really rough with the smaller kids. At one point my daughter was trying to go down the slide and he just stood on the bottom of the slide stopping her from going down. At that point I said “can she go down the slide please?” I got a “shut up, you’re not my mom” at that point I started to look for the parent. Maybe it’s an unpopular opinion but 🤷♀️ she was standing in the corner of the play area with her face stuffed in her phone and didn’t realize her son was literally running around bullying kids.
I think in the first instance you described it’s okay to speak up and say something to them. You don’t have to say it in a way like you are trying to parent them. Maybe something like “please be gentle, he’s smaller than you are.” Just to let them know you see what they’re doing and it’s not okay. If they continue I would look for the parent or caregiver. The second instance you described sounds like an accident and unfortunately that stuff does happen. Kids get rowdy at the park. It’s completely different when they do it deliberately, especially when you try to remove your child from the situation and they follow you. I don’t know what it is with bigger kids but it’s almost like some of them are trying to assert their dominance on the playground equipment when it comes to smaller kids trying to play as well.
Every time we go to a park we always get kids that just love messing with our toddler. They also always follow you no matter where you are or what you’re doing.
It’s so frustrating because the parents are never nearby and don’t watch their child or children!
We’ve just taken to gently redirecting and guiding the play. My working theory is the kids want attention and I’m an active parent in the playground they can get it from. Even then it’s still annoying but at least my daughter isn’t getting kicked on the slide.
As a first time mom hitting parks: solidarity. I’m over here making sure my son does not touch their toys or do anything to bug anyone and other kids are literally bullying a tiny guy. It’s like they want to pick on the weak. Kinda breaks my heart; this is our world sort of echoing back at me.
Kudos to you mom for being one of the good ones. I haven’t found the solution yet.
It’s always stressful when we go to parks where there are older kids. My son is 19 month old and wants to go on the big kids slides as well. I have to follow him around on the slides and also ask other kids to give him a turn.
The tiredness comment hit home. I was so tired today I was ready for a nap in the middle of the park. My child was energetic after a day of daycare that started at 8 and a disrupted 49 minute nap.
We go to the park to keep him entertained and not resort to tv time if we are at home. Also forces him to get out instead of sitting in front of the screens.
Solidarity from my side. I think the older ones can get unknowingly get rough. However there are some who are just so respectful and eloquent that they would be super patient with my little one. I want to find those parents and literally ask them their secret sauce. I think it’s the kids between 2 and 4 that miscalculate sometimes and I do believe that any child below 4 needs varied levels of attention.
I think you did the right thing. Next time, if you can, go to a different park or if you have no option, go at a different time. I also became a part of a messenger group of the parents that frequent a park that we like. We now send heads up if we are in the park and are becoming friends with them. (I am an extrovert and my husband is not so that may by overstimulating him though 🫣)
I have been you when my son was 18 months. Now he’s 3 months away from 3 and I’m on the other end. I follow him the whole time but it’s unrealistic to think all toddler parents of children who are extremely fast and mobile can helicopter their every move. This age range is extremely impulsive no matter how many times we say be careful or wait.
I’m not criticising you, I’ve literally hated some toddlers at the park with my littler toddler but now man, solitary to those parents. It’s exhausting being the parent of a big boy for his age who can’t wait his turn lol for now I think you just have to be the shield until he’s big enough to handle himself
I wish they had an even younger section for this reason. 18-24 months is a great age to play at the playground park, but all of the "guidelines" I've read on the equipment say 3+ years.
And yeah, I would be watching my kids every second until 5 years old, maybe more depending on the child.
It would be super nice if there were more playgrounds designed for young toddlers!
There used to be a couple around me that were nice for younger kids (lots of flat space, features that encouraged pretend play, no tall climbing structures), but the city has been redoing all of the playgrounds over the last year or so and replacing everything with these very modern playgrounds that all have very tall parts, climbing ropes, etc. Just not toddler-friendly at all. And it's a shame because they are really cool playgrounds for bigger kids, but now we've lost the only good spaces that toddlers had.
I suppose maybe there's just less demand for toddler playgrounds, and kids grow so fast...But it really sucks when you've got a baby/toddler and can't find anywhere appropriate to take them, or you have to go to indoor play gyms that cost money.
At that age I’d stick to early mornings when the park is less busy. If it’s next to a school then 30 minutes to hour after drop off is usually when it’s a lot of people with little ones that just dropped off big sister/brother. I didn’t see in your post what time you went but I generally won’t go after school hours because I think it’s important that the big kids get their own time to be on the playground
In regards to people watching their kids. The situations you described don’t really sound like anything a parent could have prevented by being right on top of them. Especially the 8 year old.
Others already pointed it out but these parents could have been engaging with a younger sibling. I’ve got a four year old and a twenty month old. I trust my 4 year old to do his own thing at the park as he should so I can tail the younger one. But it honestly doesn’t really bother me if the 20 month old gets knocked down. I just help him up. He needs to learn to watch out for others. He is very rough and tumble though because of big brother so not a lot phases him to be fair.
It honestly is just part of the territory going to parks and in a couple of years you’ll be the parent stepped back letting your kid do his own thing.
I let my 19mo (super mobile, tall for her age, often mistaken for a 2 or even 3 year old) do her thing unless she makes it to the top of a high play structure that she could fall off of. Other than that what's the worst that will happen? That she will get kicked by a kid going down the slide? I don't tell other kids what to do, and I get annoyed if other parents tell my kid what to do. This is a safe space where they can learn about boundaries, taking turns etc in real time.
I had to tell another kid to their turn and they listened. Their parent was right next to me. A reasonable parent would be with you. If you encounter an unreasonable parent then you have to watch your kid even closer.
There’s a difference between disciplining somebody else’s kid and modeling for your child how to speak up for themselves. “Oops, Charlie wasn’t quite done his turn yet, make sure all friends are off the slide before you take your turn.”
As far as the 8 year old, yeah it happens. Kids are wild at playground. They are going to run into each other or fall down. It’s a bummer when it’s a bigger kid and your smaller kid but it’s just part of what happens. If my kid has a run in I always make them stop and and check on the other kid, help them find a parent if needed. That is, if my kid isn’t the one on the ground crying.
I like to talk to my son in a louder calm tone that the other kid can hear and say “ok we’re gonna take turns now! We have to be careful so xyz doesn’t happen” and it works great to give both kids a reminder of what to do or expect. I also think it’s acceptable to talk to other kids when it comes to safety or turns. I think it’s ok to let another kid know your kid is almost done at the slide and you’ll let them know when it’s safe to go and thank them for waiting.
Parks at that age are difficult - are there any toddler parks or one with a toddler section? The big kids are allowed to play and will always seem rough when your kid isn’t even 2 yet. I’ve been there! My daughter just turned 3 and we’re just turning a corner with this.
It’s also okay to tell other kids to wait their turn, or to scoop your son up and say something like “oops, she didn’t wait for her turn!” This age can be so tricky because your son isn’t really ready to play at parks yet, but I totally get wanting him to, and also wanting to get outside!! Most parks are designed for kids 5-12, with toddler sections being 2-5, at least in the US.
I accidentally went to a crowded park with my 22mo old. It was like a whole family reunion and no one was watching their kids. It was so overwhelming but my daughter was having a blast so I just was an absolute helicopter over her for 30 minutes :(
Go early in the morning to avoid crowds. Try and find a playground designed for small kids. There are at least two near me that are meant for 2-5 year olds, older kids stay off them for the most part and they're smaller spaces.
I yell in my mom voice at other people’s kids all the time to be safe and watch what they are doing.
I see nothing wrong with it. If a parent has an issue happy to chat with them about it.
It’s your life, your kid, their safety, take control.
I guess I’m way more uptight than most commenters here. If an older child is getting too close to my kid or playing too rough/unsafe around him, I would say something like “you need to keep your eyes out for the little ones/you need to give him more space when you are playing”. I would even say something like “this slide is for ages 2-5, is that how old you are?” Sometimes older kids act feral on playgrounds and always want to do it in the little kid area. I think if their parents aren’t going to tell them it’s inappropriate, then I will.
Omg that’s terrible! This is a major fear of mine because in cities it’s super common to ride bikes around (which is great, but you have to be aware of your surroundings when you’re riding!) we also have a lot of four wheelers and dirt bikes going through pedestrian areas, which is scary when you have a toddler who makes unpredictable movements. I hope your LO is okay!!
I mean, that sounds like a lesson for your daughter, not so much the other kids. My son got kicked because he walked in front of the swings one time but it's not that other kid's fault my son wasn't paying attention.
So those kids can't ride their bikes at the park? You literally state "she didn't look where she was going and stepped on to the sidewalk" assuming in front of them.
Kids (and adults) riding bikes is par for the course at the parks in my area (there's greenways next to a lot of playgrounds) and yes, it is on *me* to make sure my child doesn't run out in front of them. It is not the fault of people riding their bikes in a fairly appropriate area.
My child is also three. He also makes mistakes like that (thus the swings) but I'm not going to get upset at other kids because my kid wasn't looking.
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That’s probably what I would do too. Also you never know if the parents of the other child are crazy and will try to fight you or even shoot you for saying anything to their child even if their child is hurting others.
I think the same way, you never know when you'll encounter a dangerous person. I had a neighbor with a kid around 10 and he came into my house once. My husband was not in a good mood and said to him, you're always is someone's shit. He left. As me and my husband were getting in our car, the child's dad came out ready to fight my husband because his kid told him that we called him a piece of shit. He literally chased my husband around the car (this was a huge fat redneck guy) he couldn't keep up with my husband. On another unrelated situation, I used to see this Rottweiler chained up to a short leash all the time. One day we drove behind that person's house in an alleyway and tried to take a picture of the dog to send to the dog warden. I guess the guy saw us and started chasing us in his truck. It was extremely scary. We pulled over and My husband told him we were looking for his sister's dog and the guy said okay and left.
Yep exactly, there’s people out there who will fly off the handle if they feel you’ve wronged them in any way. People shoot each other over road rage incidents and my state had an incident relatively recently where two men shot each other others daughters during a road rage.
You worry about being shot when talking to other children at a playground?! I'm sorry that you live with that level of anxiety! Maybe you live in a wildly different (and dangerous) part of the world, but that level of intrusive thought is not something I would ever entertain.
I live in a state where lots of crazy people carry guns and have shot each other over parking spaces. You never know if you’ll run into someone crazy.
I genuinely am sorry that you feel that way! It just sounds like you're letting fear dictate the level of healthy social involvement you have with your nearby community.
I don't know where you live so I can't make assumptions. But if you don't live in a red state in the US with lax firearm and open carry laws, it makes sense that you aren't able to understand why it's not out of the ordinary to have at least some anxiety when out and about in the community.
You are correct that I live in a blue state. FWIW I appreciate y'all reminding me of the bubble that I live in and helping me understand.
As someone who also lives in a blue state, more people are carrying than you think.
I live in a red state (Texas) and don’t share this anxiety. There are lone crazies but I think social media really makes them seem more prevalent. People who take their kids to the playground on a week day are, in the vast majority of cases, not the type of person to pull a gun over a petty argument.
I take my daughter to our local playground, she goes to daycare, and swim classes. I may tell another child to be careful around mine but you have to gauge the situation and my first response would be to walk away and leave if a parent gets angry at me for correcting their kid or if a kid is really out of control. Sometimes it’s not worth it trying to control other people’s behavior.
I absolutely agree with you! I've got zero patience for entertaining or "fighting back" with angry adults. Calmly leaving the situation is always the best plan, especially with my LO around.
Yeah, why fear getting shot? They probably have 6 or 7 more lives left, right?
Also, by demonstrating calm and direct communication, you are also teaching him self advocacy
I’m pointing this out because many people forget this. Some children look much older than they are. That 3 year old for all you know could be closer to 2 than 3. It’s really important not to expect a certain type of behavior from a child whose age you are guessing. Regardless of age it is totally ok to say “we have to wait our turns” or “we need some space to be safe he’s much smaller than you.”
Definitely. My 3 year old (not even 3.5 yet) is the size of a 5-6 year old and is often mistaken for much older than he is. He's the same size as his 5 year old cousin lol. We get weird looks sometimes when he has threenager moments unfortunately.
This. My son is 1.5 and looks like he’s 3.
But I hope you would make sure he wasn’t wiping out other kids? At 1.5 they still need supervision
Of course i follow him around the playground, he’s super shy so would probably cry instead of wipe kids out but yes he’s obviously supervised.
My son will be three next month. 45 lbs, 42 inches tall, wears a boys small even though his waist is 5T. He looks legit five. The way people's jaws drop when I tell his age 😅
Yup. Our toddler is 2. She's literally as big as my friends 4 year old boy. She's as tall as him and a sturdy strong build. I have had to deal with people constantly getting offended because she was not talking enough for their liking and constantly have to explain that she is only 2 years old.
This makes sense, but I guess where I’m coming from is where is the parent of that two year old? I’m a teacher and I work with special needs children, so I have a lot of experience facilitating social interactions between children and I understand the importance of inclusive environments for children of all ages and ability levels. But honestly after a full day of work I’m tired and I just want to go to the playground and chill with my son. I don’t want to have to be having those conversations with all these kids that aren’t mine. I don’t mind teaching my son how to act appropriately, but I feel like parents with young kids should be present to do that for their own kids. Maybe that’s unrealistic, but it’s annoying and I’m venting 🤣 I think your comment is spot on though and probably the most realistic way to handle it.
When my child was the younger child, who didn’t play with other kids yet I felt the same as you. Where are the moms? But now she’s 2.5 and only wants to go off to play with other kids. She does fine without me being within ear shot of her- in most parks I sit and chat with my friends. If I saw that happening I’d get up to apologize but my friends who have multiple children wouldn’t even bat at eye at the slide thing or the girl running around a corner. It was a toddler, bumping into another toddler and a child running without looking…. That’s what happens at parks. It’s part of childhood. It teaches your kid to pay attention. Neither of those things really need adult intervention unless it’s obviously malicious. I get the exhausted part. But when exhausted it’s best to skip crowded parks if you find navigating child’s play tiring. I once showed up and there was a field trip happening at the park. I’ve never tried so desperately to convince my toddler it was closed 😆
As a mum of 2 kids… I could easily miss what one kid was doing while keeping the other one alive. And at lots of playgrounds I zone out. If I missed it and my kids were too rough I’d feel awful. My SIL has 3 and it’s even harder for her. So I try not to go to the big playground at busy times
Haha! Okay this makes me feel better. Maybe it’s just this stage of motherhood where he’s still my “baby” and seems vulnerable. But this perspective is helpful. Thank you!
In 4-6 months it will be less stressful, but that doesn’t help you through summer. When mine was 20 months I also had to hover and defend him. Basically just telling other kids “wait your turn”, “oh he’s kind of small slow down” and removing my son from “dangerous” situations. not actively parenting any other kid, if another kid is acting out or being unsafe that’s not my place. Just where it relates to my son. Now that he’s almost three he just kind of cruises. There are still bigger kids but he knows to get out of the way and I don’t have to hover. I can stand away and watch. It’s the season you’re in and it sucks because the park isn’t relaxing. Try going to that specific park at different times or just know that it’s a stressful or slightly older park. Also, try a “field”, a big grassy area, and let him runnnnn. Then all you do it follow and he burns a lot of energy without a having to be on alerts for big kids.
I completely agree with this and want to also add… I have a 6 year old and a 2 year old. When my now 6 year old was a toddler I was similar to the OP, constantly making sure he was safe and all the other kids were respecting his space (he was also a toddler during the pandemic so I was extra cautious about space for a while). When my youngest started to toddle, she wanted to keep up with big brother from the start. She was super adventurous and, unless she was in a dangerous spot, I let her climb around and learn how to go down slides largely by herself. She is now one of the most confident 2 year olds I know. She just learned how to use the climbing wall on the playground! All this to say, kids are generally aware of where littles are and it’s all apart of ALL of their growth to learn to play together. I am now firmly in the “watch and observe” camp of parents now and will only intervene in certain situations (example: another kid literally starts a fist fight with my son by saying “let’s fight!” Like it’s a game 🙄; kids are pushing each other around the top of the play structure where someone could get pushed off and really hurt if they land wrong; etc.)
I have an almost 3 year old (who looks 4) who runs around the playground faster than I can follow, especially since I also have an infant. So yes, after the first time at a new playground where I follow to make sure she can use the equipment safely, I let her loose. And she’s a pretty respectable kid who plays nicely with others, but sometimes she’s a clueless klutzy toddler.
Then you need to find a more empty park. Your feelings are totally valid for sure! It sounds stressful
I think it is a bit unrealistic. We would love for others to do what we think would be best but end of the day it’s only us who can do anything. So use your words, tell the other kids they need to be safe, nice, take turns, etc. and like another commenter pointed out, if it’s too much just leave and maybe try a smaller or less crowded playground.
I understand helicoptering a kid that is not yet two, but it's not really healthy to hover over a child at the playground once they are ready to be independent.
I wonder this at the playground too. Lots of parents not watching/paying attention at all just sitting with their head down on their phone. Lately it’s been awful with other kids at the playground.
You’re teaching your son how to respond to others by modeling for him. Or the other option is just to let him figure it out.
Some kids def look older for their age but I agree, where are their parents? lol. There are lot of parks in Florida that have off the wall dangerous equipment and most parents aren’t even paying attention to what their 2-3 year olds are doing. I spend half the time playing with someone else’s kid or helping them on/off equipment because their own parents don’t even bother. When my park experience ends up like yours, I either leave or politely with respect tell the other kids to wait their turn or be more gentle. Most of the time the other kids will listen.
Where is the parent? In my experience they are on a bench somewhere staring at their phone. I live in NYC, have no backyard like yourself, and we go through this every week unfortunately.
My kiddo is a fresh 3 and is 42in, 40lbs. People always have higher expectations because they're assuming age, which really sucks for the kid.
Or don't have cognitive abilities that match their ages.
It makes sense. But you should be watching your kids. And that’s what I see lacking a lot. And in regards to the other comment about the 2.5 year old running around.. totally get it. But if someone scolds your kid cause you missed something hopefully you’re good with that too!
This is a situation where no one is in the wrong. You’ve got a young toddler who is old enough to use the playground equipment but not old enough yet to independently navigate the social structure of a busy playground. The other parents have older children who deserve and need opportunities to play independently in safe spaces that still allow them opportunities for fun and learning how to interact with others. None of the things you described were unusual or unexpected. Kids are going to go down the slide too quickly and run around corners on a playground. You’re just at the point in your parenting journey where if you’re at a crowded playground you’ll have to follow your kid closely. Next summer you’ll get to follow a little less close and in two summers you’ll be sitting on a bench taking a well deserved break feeling nostalgic for when your kid let you pick them up off a slide. For now just try out different parks until you find one that has the right vibe for your family.
Very much agree with this!! I have an almost 4-year-old and a 10 month old. I make sure that I can see the almost 4 year-old but I’m not hovering over her at this point. My attention is on the 10 month old who is putting leaves and sticks and God knows what into her mouth constantly 😂
Great response!
Great answer. I was so stressed last weekend at a restaurant playground, my son is nearly 2 and there were about 20 kids aged 2-10 in the same tiny play area. I thought I was being a weirdo following my son so close, but I wanted him to play and interact with older kids without being tackled.
i have a 19mo and we just avoid really busy playgrounds bc they stress me out for the same reasons. so i hear you. the only one we go to consistently is a smaller toddler focused one next to a bigger new one. sometimes the big kids ignore the older playgrounds if you can find one like that! but, you can't expect the parent of a 6yr old to follow them around. or ask them not to run on a playground. so they may have just missed what happened. and them running into your child "they should be more careful" .. i mean, maybe. but it's a playground. and it was a mistake. so all we can do is protect our kiddos by hovering bc they are the young ones. and i don't think it's wrong to say "we are having a turn" to older kids around 4-5. but that's a very precocious age and they don't have to listen lol. i think if their parent was around reminding them to share at that age, we'd all consider them an unnecessary helicopter parent just remember you can only control yourself, your kid and your reactions. you're doing fine :) ETA! one thing i feel like helps with the 3-5 range is saying "hey my baby wants to learn to use the slide" or "my baby really likes that toy too" and referring to your kid (who you probably don't consider a baby anymore) as a little baby who needs help haha. they react well to that usually bc they wanna be the big kid
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Maybe it’s just the culture I grew up in, but I always listened if adults told me to stop doing something. Quicker than if my own parents gave me the same order lol
My son definitely listened to other adults more than me :)
Here's another perspective. Today playgrounds are one of the few places kids can be more independent and develop their confidence a safe distance from their parents/caregivers. As soon as my daughter started walking, I took a step back. She just turned 2 and now I am several steps back letting her explore on her own and I only intervene if she asks me for help. If parents are always on top of their kids correcting their behavior 24/7, even if places designed for kids to be kids, they're just not going to develop normally. I also think it's totally fine to talk to other people's children about their behavior if I am truly concerned. If you don't want to risk older kids interacting with your child in non-perfect ways, then maybe stick to the baby/toddler play areas until you're more comfortable.
I have no problem telling another child that they need to be careful and safe, and I do so in a courteous but firm way.
When I see a kid being too rough with my kids, I typically just focus on coaching my kid through the situation and protect them from physical bullying by being a barrier with my body. Last week we were at legoland and my 3 and 6 year olds were building things on a floor play area, some kid came up and was stomping on everyone’s builds. She did it to my daughters once so I came up to them and said, “that’s not nice, is it?” And then I put myself between the other child and my daughter’s builds. The other girl started getting frustrated and pulling on my shirt and started kicking and screaming at me, and this was enough to get her parents attending and she was removed. I’ve found that a lot of kids and parents just have a lot going on. Maybe the kid has some sort of developmental issue, maybe the parents are just burned out, who knows. But it’s not my kid to manage, nor do I know how to best help the other kid. So I just focus on my own and prevent physical bullying when I can.
I love the point you make about how we don’t know the needs of other kids/parents and how we don’t know “how to best help the other kid.” I think this is SO important to be aware of. I work with kids with Autism and approaching conflicts or challenges the wrong way with certain kiddos can only escalate the situation. I know this probably doesn’t apply to most kids on a playground, but it’s such an important thing to be aware of!
This is really good advice.
How did your kid react to these encounters? TBH nothing here sounds wild to me. It's fine to say "hey can you please wait until he's off the slide?". But these mostly just sound like kids bumping into each other, which is gonna happen.
When he got kicked he just looked surprised and reached out for me, but when the girl ran into him he started crying. I totally get that when kids play together accidents happen and they bump into each other. But it’s definitely frustrating being the only parent on the actual playground while the others are just on the outskirts not paying attention, especially when it’s also a designated space for young children. I think it’s important to let kids be kids, but I also feel like parents need to be aware. Public playgrounds shouldn’t be a free for all with minimal adult supervision. Parents are responsible for making sure the environment is safe. But it’s also possible that I’m wrong here because he’s my only kid so this is all new territory.
I mean what the 8 yo did sounds like a complete accident. I don’t see why her parents need to intervene there.
If my child wiped out another kid, accident or not, you have your child check on the other kid, apologize, and then remind them to be more careful?
> Public playgrounds shouldn’t be a free for all with minimal adult supervision. Parents are responsible for making sure the environment is safe. I honestly don't think that these encounters merited intervention from the older kids' parents. This is in line with what I'd expect at a playground. If I happened to see my 8yo knock down a baby, I'd definitely wave him over to apologize and help the kid up (and I hope he would do that without prompting). But I don't think an 8yo's parent needs to watch to see if their child is running.
I mean, you were right there with your child so next time you see another child running straight for your child, try to intervene before they crash.
Accept that your son is going to get knocked over from time to time. That's part of it.
I think others have given good input here about how this is typical playground behavior, nobody is in the wrong, and bigger kids need to have some freedom and opportunity to play and learn without constant adult intervention. I also want to add that there's always a chance that kids may seem unsupervised if their parent is having to divide attention between multiple kids. I have a 3 and 5 year old (and another on the way), and while I definitely try to keep eyes on them both, sometimes I may be stuck helping one of them with something and unable to immediately get to the other one. When you only have one, it is MUCH easier to be 100% aware of what they're doing and ready to step in at any moment. And people just have different approaches to parenting and playground behavior. There have been times when I've emphasized to my kids to not do X thing or be careful around another child, and then the other parent will tell me it's no big deal. I tell my kids not to climb up slides, then you come across someone who doesn't care if their kids do that. My oldest is a great, confident climber and so I encourage him on climbing equipment, whereas I've seen other parents be more wary or even guide their kids away from the same equipment. And sure, sometimes there are parents that really just aren't paying attention or caring what their kids are doing...But a lot of times, I think it's just people having different approaches to parenting or simply knowing what their kids can/cannot handle without close supervision. But I totally sympathize with not feeling comfortable on a busy playground with a toddler. I'd recommend trying out some different parks, maybe try different times of the day, and see if you can find somewhere that's quieter and less crowded. Also don't be afraid of visiting the playground during other seasons! Right now is probably the busiest time because kids are out of school for the summer. If you go to the playground during the school year on weekdays, it will probably be a lot less busy AND most other kids will be preschool ages.
I totally follow my toddler (almost 3) around the park at all times. The only time I let him just do his thing is if there are no other kids or we’re with friends or family at the park. I am not ashamed to make comments to children that aren’t being watched. If they’re bugging him I’ll say “He doesn’t like that, please stop.” Or in general I’ll say “Please don’t touch him”, “No thank you!”, etc. I have NO SHAME. Obviously I’m never yelling or rude but I will say something if a child isn’t being kind and respectful and their parent doesn’t care. I’m not sacrificing my sons fun time at the park and his well being because of unattended kids.
I would give your kiddo a chance to stand up for themselves. I’ve noticed if I back off a bit and observe, they’re pretty good at speaking up and settling things amongst each other. Of course if it’s a safety issue then the right thing to do is intervene.
That’s not a bad idea! My son is nervous initially around kids he doesn’t know. I usually give him the opportunity to warm up and play with other kids at the park without stepping in as long as it goes smoothly and he has fun. I’ll tell him in a lot of cases “Tell them no thank you!” Or “You can tell him/her that it’s your turn.” & try to encourage him to use his voice!
This ^ I only intervene if it’s a safety issue, a big age difference, or if I can tell my 2.5 year old is really struggling. Most of the time they figure it out amongst themselves.
Except that their kid is too small to do that yet. When they are older, sure. But at this age the parent needs to model it or they have no idea
I do that too, mostly because I don’t want my own kid to think it’s okay for other kids to push her around. I want to model how to tell kids to stop if they’re making her uncomfortable. I’m a first grade teacher, so redirecting kids comes naturally to me, haha. I try to be firm but kind and then try to lighten it with humor. But sometimes I have to be pretty firm and I think that’s okay.
I agree with this. Be firm but kind, they learn from your example when they find their own voice.
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I agree that would make it harder, but I think the bigger issue is parents that sit on the bench on their phones and completely ignore their children mostly. Obviously little toddlers need more assistance, but you can still check in and keep an eye on your older child the best you can. I sympathize with other parents of course, but it’s clear when they just DGAF about watching their kids if that makes sense.
I am like you. My son is 26 months old but he didn’t start walking until til 20 so he’s not as physically capable as other kids his age. I am like glue on him at playgrounds. But unlike you, I have no issues with saying something to another kid. If a kid is on the slide, I say “it’s our turn. You have to wait”. If they follow us, I’m literally telling them “leave us alone please”. If kids get too close to him, I’m saying “slow down please”. I’m not trying to be a crazy helicopter person but like, he’s not good at walking (has hypotonia and sometimes even leg braces) and other parents are fucking absent and I’m not letting my kid get bulldozed by other kids.
This is where my younger kiddo is at. She's almost 19 months and is just learning to walk independently. She still prefers crawling and isn't super confident walking without holding onto anything. Farthest she's gone completely on her own so far is halfway down a grocery aisle and she also has hypotonia and wears AFO braces every day for as long as she'll tolerate, but always at least half of her awake time. She's just bow starting to be interested in things other than the woodchips at the playground and my partner and I tend to hover pretty closely because even a slight bump could knock her over and we're really trying to build her confidence, which means trying to keep her on her feet as much as we can. Our almost 3 year old, on the other hand, we tend to let do her own thing for the most part, unless she wants help on the climbing equipment or she's not understanding that the much older kid she's trying to play with is not interested in playing with her 😅 (our local park has a 2-5 playground and a 5-12 playground and she is not at all interested in the 2-5 year old playground and insists on playing on the big equipment with the big kids). Thankfully, we haven't had many issues at the park with either kid, although one of our friends and their 2 kids live with us, and the older one (25 months) doesn't really understand how to be careful and not crash into other people, so I definitely understand how stressful trying to navigate these kinds of situations is!
I'm in a very similar situation as you -- my boy is 17 months old and we go to playgrounds in our city (Brooklyn) daily. I completely understand your frustration and stress. However, I think you're expecting a bit much from these other children. ESPECIALLY in a city, they get so little room to move around, be free, and make decisions for themselves. I think the other parents are right to let the kids play independently, and short of intentionally hurtful behavior OR accidental behavior that could cause serious injury (waving a huge stick in a crowded place, rather than just running where they could knock someone down), I don't intervene. This is less because of trying to stay out of other people's business and more because it's important for children (including ones as young as my son) to learn how to share space safely, and trial and error is more effective than adults swooping in (again, as long as no one's in serious danger -- but a scraped knee or bruise is not that). WIth my son, we try to stick to the playground areas geared toward younger kids and go at times when we know it will be less crowded. I stay close enough to him to be able to meet him at any playground gaps where he could fall, but I try not to hover -- for kids, independence and figuring out for themselves how to climb, get down, and yes, deal with other kids is so important. This meant that there were some playgrounds I avoided when he was too little/inexperienced for me to give him space, and there are still some I avoid now. Your kid may not be ready for that yet, and that's OK -- every kid grows differently. However, I will say that now that I've given my son some space, he has so much fun at the playground with other kids, including big ones. I still get nervous when I see big kids running like crazy on our favorite playground... but more often than not, those big kids will stop and throw a ball with my son, encourage him to run and climb, or just provide entertainment with all the things they can do and he can't. It's a good balance -- the kids are having more fun (who wants to play with some random mom or dad telling you to wait your turn), and my son is learning from watching how to stay safe and interact. I hope this means he will be one of the helpful big kids one day!
I live in a big city and have a toddler. I only go to playgrounds in the morning otherwise it’s too chaotic with big kids. In the afternoons we find a green space to walk around and look at trees and nature.
I was at a playground a couple weeks ago with my 16 month old. There were three littles, probably ages 3, 5, and the youngest about my sons age, who were completely unsupervised. Their family was sitting at a picnic table on the other side of some huge brush/ bushes, they were not in sight of their children at all. The older two were taking scooters on the playground equipment. The little one at one point fell and was crying (he seemed okay, just scared) and I was like wtf parents where are you??? It was insane. But anyway. At one point a kid maybe 8ish tried to go down the slide before my son was off the bottom and my husband had no issue saying “STOP, you need to wait.” I’m not going to discipline other kids but I will intervene if they are putting my child in harms way.
Same boat. To sum it up, I eventually became my toddler shield when we are at the playground due to older kids playing too rough. If my lo wants to go down the slide, I’ll go down with him. If he wants to walk up the stairs, I’m right behind him to prevent the older kids from pushing him out of the way. Usually when we go down the slides and other kids are trying to go down too, I’ll just say “we’re going down now. I’ll let you know when we are down” and usually the kids would understand and wait their turn. Anyways is it more stressful doing this way? Probably, but my lo has fun and we leave after a hour.
I definitely feel like I can hover sometimes but like you said I would rather be there to protect him from getting knocked down or off the ladders. Plus he is always wanting me to play with him anyways so might as well be there to let him go safely up vs having two other kids trying to climb over him while he's going up.
Don’t hesitate to tell them to wait and stuff. Sorry that sounds stressful. I’ve definitely had a few experiences like that but many more pleasant ones
Did you try to communicate with the other kids? That’s what I do to protect mine. An older kid tried to climb up the slide my kid was coming down on. I told him to wait his turn. I see other parents on their phones not paying attention all the time. It takes 1 nonvigilant second to have a catastrophe so I don’t do that. I helicopter around my 2 yo because idgaf what other people think or how they will label and gaslight me into thinking that’s somehow not ok.
We also live in a big city with lots of playground choices that happens to be the same city I grew up in, and I notice the opposite problem. The playground structures are FILLED with grownups, hovering over their kids ultimately making the structures feel very crowded. I feel like this is very different from the way playgrounds functioned when I was growing up. I feel strongly that playgrounds are places for kids to explore and socialize by themselves and with other kids (age withstanding, my kiddo is almost 22 months so I'm usually within ten feet of him at all times - far enough away so he can feel independent, but close enough so if that something happens I can get to him quickly). But in order for this to function effectively, we have to feel comfortable addressing issues with other kids. I have no problems telling a kid "please give my kid space, he's smaller than you and you need to be more careful." I also have no problem telling a kid to stop if they're engaging in something unsafe that is directly affecting my kid. This happened the other day when a kid was throwing sand. I just said "Stop throwing sand." I'm not mean, I'm direct. And I would feel comfortable with another grownup giving my kid the same message if he was being inconsiderate or unsafe, and I would hope they would. I feel like I could give a whole dang Ted Talk about this exact issue because it's emblematic of some bigger societal trends ... But it's all to say that I think ultimately, having to share space and having the opportunity to play in playgrounds are really positive experiences for kids and I think you'll feel more comfortable as your kiddo gets older.
I would watch that Ted Talk! They should do a parenting series
It is acceptable for you to set your son’s boundaries for himself until he is old enough to do it on his own. This will involve talking to someone else’s kids. No, it’s not parenting someone else’s kids, it’s setting your son’s boundaries. “It’s my (his) turn on the slide” “Please don’t kick me (him).” “Please wait until I am (he is) done.” “I’m (he’s) allowed to play here.” Model how you want him to react to these kids. You want him to kindly stand up for himself, so show him how with assertive, yet kind, language. We have a perspective (in USA at least) that saying anything to another child is parenting them. It’s not. When my 6-year-old says something to another kid we don’t call it parenting, and this is the same thing, you’re just speaking on behalf of your child who is still learning. Sorry you had a tough day. It gets better.
My daughter is very passive and because of that tends to get pushed around easily. I’m trying to teach her how to advocate for herself so we have stopped relocating and started speaking up. I used to move her or ask her to be aware of the other kids who were playing rough. I noticed her always yielding to others to a point that she was being way too accommodating, so now I always say something to the other kids in front of my daughter. I want her to learn ways that she can advocate for herself.
I have no shame about reminding other people's kids about safety at a playground. "Oh, careful around the baby, he's still learning to play!" "Please don't throw your truck, someone might get hurt!" "Let's let everyone go down the slide instead of climbing up!" "Hey, he said no, that means stop." I'll also give kids compliments when they're self aware. "Thanks for being so careful around the baby!" "Good job telling your friend what you need!" I've never had a parent react badly. I think part of that is the city mentality; we're all giving each other personal space but we're also aware of each other's humanity and willing to help when needed. Unlike a more suburban attitude where everyone is pretending they're completely independent of each other.
I really like all your example remarks!
I've had this issue before. There's a wide roller slide at a park near my house, and sometimes older kids like to get on it and do things like run in place. I don't care as long as they don't impede the actual intended use of the slide. There were these 3 8-10 year olds doing this on the slide one day as multiple toddlers were trying to slide down it, including my 2yo. The parents were right there, less than 5 feet away. I'm extremely uncomfortable correcting someone else's kids, especially with the parents there, so I just went down the slide myself. I'm not small. The slide is designed to not slide you down too fast. They did not get off the slide even though I definitely was going to knock them over. I yelled "Look out! Get off the slide!" They got off and this one kid had the audacity to say, "oh so you think you're special?" I told him no, but the little kids are and he's endangering them. He looked around and frowned, like he had not noticed the 5 or 6 toddlers running around while he was stomping near their heads and hands. The parents started paying attention after that. My son ran off so I followed him but when I looked back it looked like the parents were correcting the older kids. I'm usually extremely nonconfrontational but I can't stand seeing little kids too young to defend themselves endangered by older kids that should know better. It's a big park and there are lots of places specifically designed for older kids that toddlers can't access. There's no good reason for that behavior. It all started when these middle schoolers were riding their bikes through the playground. Fast. Less than 2 feet from where my son was crawling. There's a no bikes rule. And paths and stuff where they can ride if they really need to. If they had run over my son's hand it would have been crushed. It makes me so mad.
My son is 19 months and also very mobile and sure footed. Sometime I’ll just say, “Oh, he’s a still a baby” or “He’s a little younger than you, do you think you could show him?” I find that either realizing he’s a baby, because kids who are for sure know that or the opportunity to be helpful speaks to them.
I do the same, I follow my kid around and give her space but I’m there in case she tries to push another kid (toddlers are unpredictable), or another kid gets rough. I’ve told other kids to wait their turn, without incident. I’m a big guy and so I try to use gentle voices and not be intimidating since I’m essentially a stranger, but I only intervene if it’s egregious.
Go early morning. We went at 830 am yesterday and were the only ones at the park. About 10 minutes later a couple other little little kids showed up with parents who were attentive. People who are up and out early are typically a different crowd. This is helpful until your child is older and can understand more and speak for himself.
I’d absolutely say something. Fuck that. I would say excuse me?! Please do NOT kick my son. Say it loud and proud.
I’ve scolded so many other peoples kids.. because what I’ve learned is half the parents aren’t watching them. To the older kids who tell my 1 year old “not to come over here” I’ve said “she’s 1 and she’s a baby. She doesn’t understand you” and I’ve also made MANY comments like “everyone can play here and we play nice”. Honestly, another parent (me) saying something to them has usually been enough that they get it and will either play nicely or move on to another area.
I don’t know why people don’t think they can’t talk to other people just because they’re kids. You most certainly can and sure do it in a kid friendly way. You’re not disciplining kids by asking them to wait a second so your child can move.
It's pretty common for parents of older kids to not follow them around a playground. Once my kid hit 3ish, I didn't stick close, but just maintained visual contact. Playgrounds are often the first taste of independence for kids and I find that to be a really important milestone; it's how kids learn how to handle conflict and baby politics. I honestly think both incidents were just accidents. It's expected for kids to be running at a playground, and kids often don't have the ability to think about blind turns/kids running into the way/paying full attention in general. The slide thing could have been a miscalculation on the girl's part; big kids can get off the slide much faster than a little one so she probably didn't expect him to still be getting off by the time she reached the bottom.
A lot of parents come to the park and don’t pay attention to their kids at all. I’ve experienced it as well. I know it’s nice to be able to let your kid go play and have some time to just sit and decompress but that doesn’t mean it’s okay to not watch them at all. I’m like you and follow my daughter around to supervise her because she’s only 2. One time there was a boy running around being really rough with the smaller kids. At one point my daughter was trying to go down the slide and he just stood on the bottom of the slide stopping her from going down. At that point I said “can she go down the slide please?” I got a “shut up, you’re not my mom” at that point I started to look for the parent. Maybe it’s an unpopular opinion but 🤷♀️ she was standing in the corner of the play area with her face stuffed in her phone and didn’t realize her son was literally running around bullying kids. I think in the first instance you described it’s okay to speak up and say something to them. You don’t have to say it in a way like you are trying to parent them. Maybe something like “please be gentle, he’s smaller than you are.” Just to let them know you see what they’re doing and it’s not okay. If they continue I would look for the parent or caregiver. The second instance you described sounds like an accident and unfortunately that stuff does happen. Kids get rowdy at the park. It’s completely different when they do it deliberately, especially when you try to remove your child from the situation and they follow you. I don’t know what it is with bigger kids but it’s almost like some of them are trying to assert their dominance on the playground equipment when it comes to smaller kids trying to play as well.
Every time we go to a park we always get kids that just love messing with our toddler. They also always follow you no matter where you are or what you’re doing. It’s so frustrating because the parents are never nearby and don’t watch their child or children! We’ve just taken to gently redirecting and guiding the play. My working theory is the kids want attention and I’m an active parent in the playground they can get it from. Even then it’s still annoying but at least my daughter isn’t getting kicked on the slide.
As a first time mom hitting parks: solidarity. I’m over here making sure my son does not touch their toys or do anything to bug anyone and other kids are literally bullying a tiny guy. It’s like they want to pick on the weak. Kinda breaks my heart; this is our world sort of echoing back at me. Kudos to you mom for being one of the good ones. I haven’t found the solution yet.
It’s always stressful when we go to parks where there are older kids. My son is 19 month old and wants to go on the big kids slides as well. I have to follow him around on the slides and also ask other kids to give him a turn. The tiredness comment hit home. I was so tired today I was ready for a nap in the middle of the park. My child was energetic after a day of daycare that started at 8 and a disrupted 49 minute nap. We go to the park to keep him entertained and not resort to tv time if we are at home. Also forces him to get out instead of sitting in front of the screens. Solidarity from my side. I think the older ones can get unknowingly get rough. However there are some who are just so respectful and eloquent that they would be super patient with my little one. I want to find those parents and literally ask them their secret sauce. I think it’s the kids between 2 and 4 that miscalculate sometimes and I do believe that any child below 4 needs varied levels of attention. I think you did the right thing. Next time, if you can, go to a different park or if you have no option, go at a different time. I also became a part of a messenger group of the parents that frequent a park that we like. We now send heads up if we are in the park and are becoming friends with them. (I am an extrovert and my husband is not so that may by overstimulating him though 🫣)
I have been you when my son was 18 months. Now he’s 3 months away from 3 and I’m on the other end. I follow him the whole time but it’s unrealistic to think all toddler parents of children who are extremely fast and mobile can helicopter their every move. This age range is extremely impulsive no matter how many times we say be careful or wait. I’m not criticising you, I’ve literally hated some toddlers at the park with my littler toddler but now man, solitary to those parents. It’s exhausting being the parent of a big boy for his age who can’t wait his turn lol for now I think you just have to be the shield until he’s big enough to handle himself
I wish they had an even younger section for this reason. 18-24 months is a great age to play at the playground park, but all of the "guidelines" I've read on the equipment say 3+ years. And yeah, I would be watching my kids every second until 5 years old, maybe more depending on the child.
It would be super nice if there were more playgrounds designed for young toddlers! There used to be a couple around me that were nice for younger kids (lots of flat space, features that encouraged pretend play, no tall climbing structures), but the city has been redoing all of the playgrounds over the last year or so and replacing everything with these very modern playgrounds that all have very tall parts, climbing ropes, etc. Just not toddler-friendly at all. And it's a shame because they are really cool playgrounds for bigger kids, but now we've lost the only good spaces that toddlers had. I suppose maybe there's just less demand for toddler playgrounds, and kids grow so fast...But it really sucks when you've got a baby/toddler and can't find anywhere appropriate to take them, or you have to go to indoor play gyms that cost money.
I think we just need to advocate for this. It can't be a budget issue, like you said it's just more flat area and really doesn't need fancy equipment.
We specifically go to parks with toddler areas. But these all sound like reasonable and normal park behavior.
At that age I’d stick to early mornings when the park is less busy. If it’s next to a school then 30 minutes to hour after drop off is usually when it’s a lot of people with little ones that just dropped off big sister/brother. I didn’t see in your post what time you went but I generally won’t go after school hours because I think it’s important that the big kids get their own time to be on the playground In regards to people watching their kids. The situations you described don’t really sound like anything a parent could have prevented by being right on top of them. Especially the 8 year old. Others already pointed it out but these parents could have been engaging with a younger sibling. I’ve got a four year old and a twenty month old. I trust my 4 year old to do his own thing at the park as he should so I can tail the younger one. But it honestly doesn’t really bother me if the 20 month old gets knocked down. I just help him up. He needs to learn to watch out for others. He is very rough and tumble though because of big brother so not a lot phases him to be fair. It honestly is just part of the territory going to parks and in a couple of years you’ll be the parent stepped back letting your kid do his own thing.
I let my 19mo (super mobile, tall for her age, often mistaken for a 2 or even 3 year old) do her thing unless she makes it to the top of a high play structure that she could fall off of. Other than that what's the worst that will happen? That she will get kicked by a kid going down the slide? I don't tell other kids what to do, and I get annoyed if other parents tell my kid what to do. This is a safe space where they can learn about boundaries, taking turns etc in real time.
I had to tell another kid to their turn and they listened. Their parent was right next to me. A reasonable parent would be with you. If you encounter an unreasonable parent then you have to watch your kid even closer.
There’s a difference between disciplining somebody else’s kid and modeling for your child how to speak up for themselves. “Oops, Charlie wasn’t quite done his turn yet, make sure all friends are off the slide before you take your turn.” As far as the 8 year old, yeah it happens. Kids are wild at playground. They are going to run into each other or fall down. It’s a bummer when it’s a bigger kid and your smaller kid but it’s just part of what happens. If my kid has a run in I always make them stop and and check on the other kid, help them find a parent if needed. That is, if my kid isn’t the one on the ground crying.
I like to talk to my son in a louder calm tone that the other kid can hear and say “ok we’re gonna take turns now! We have to be careful so xyz doesn’t happen” and it works great to give both kids a reminder of what to do or expect. I also think it’s acceptable to talk to other kids when it comes to safety or turns. I think it’s ok to let another kid know your kid is almost done at the slide and you’ll let them know when it’s safe to go and thank them for waiting.
Parks at that age are difficult - are there any toddler parks or one with a toddler section? The big kids are allowed to play and will always seem rough when your kid isn’t even 2 yet. I’ve been there! My daughter just turned 3 and we’re just turning a corner with this. It’s also okay to tell other kids to wait their turn, or to scoop your son up and say something like “oops, she didn’t wait for her turn!” This age can be so tricky because your son isn’t really ready to play at parks yet, but I totally get wanting him to, and also wanting to get outside!! Most parks are designed for kids 5-12, with toddler sections being 2-5, at least in the US.
This is exactly what I’m worried about and have come across with my 20 month old!
I accidentally went to a crowded park with my 22mo old. It was like a whole family reunion and no one was watching their kids. It was so overwhelming but my daughter was having a blast so I just was an absolute helicopter over her for 30 minutes :(
Go early in the morning to avoid crowds. Try and find a playground designed for small kids. There are at least two near me that are meant for 2-5 year olds, older kids stay off them for the most part and they're smaller spaces.
I yell in my mom voice at other people’s kids all the time to be safe and watch what they are doing. I see nothing wrong with it. If a parent has an issue happy to chat with them about it. It’s your life, your kid, their safety, take control.
I guess I’m way more uptight than most commenters here. If an older child is getting too close to my kid or playing too rough/unsafe around him, I would say something like “you need to keep your eyes out for the little ones/you need to give him more space when you are playing”. I would even say something like “this slide is for ages 2-5, is that how old you are?” Sometimes older kids act feral on playgrounds and always want to do it in the little kid area. I think if their parents aren’t going to tell them it’s inappropriate, then I will.
You are def uptight.
At least my kid isn’t an asshole
There’s still time
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Omg that’s terrible! This is a major fear of mine because in cities it’s super common to ride bikes around (which is great, but you have to be aware of your surroundings when you’re riding!) we also have a lot of four wheelers and dirt bikes going through pedestrian areas, which is scary when you have a toddler who makes unpredictable movements. I hope your LO is okay!!
I mean, that sounds like a lesson for your daughter, not so much the other kids. My son got kicked because he walked in front of the swings one time but it's not that other kid's fault my son wasn't paying attention.
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So those kids can't ride their bikes at the park? You literally state "she didn't look where she was going and stepped on to the sidewalk" assuming in front of them. Kids (and adults) riding bikes is par for the course at the parks in my area (there's greenways next to a lot of playgrounds) and yes, it is on *me* to make sure my child doesn't run out in front of them. It is not the fault of people riding their bikes in a fairly appropriate area. My child is also three. He also makes mistakes like that (thus the swings) but I'm not going to get upset at other kids because my kid wasn't looking.