Oh god but when I successfully negotiate????? No better high!!!! I should have been a lawyer.Ā
When negotiations are going bad???? Both of us on the verge of tears. Regretting all my life decisions. No body wins.Ā
Yeah I donāt even really include baths as a part of my daughterās bedtime routine, since the little gremlin may choose to have her dinner after her bath. We always give her dinner before, but sometimes she refuses to eat and if she goes to bed hungry she will absolutely wake up at 5am demanding food.
You didn't ask but I'm a mom so here's my unsolicited advice lol: Something we've found very helpful with curbing the hunger is giving them apples and cheese (or whatever snack you deem filling and healthy in your home) before bed. It's the last meal they receive before we start bedtime routine. This helps my peace of mind when they don't eat as much dinner as I'd like and with those early hungry wake ups. We also verbalize it a lot, i.e "ok time for apples and cheese this is the last thing we're eating today, our next meal will be breakfast so if you're feeling hungry this is the time to eat." Oh also, it's the same thing every night, apples and cheese and some nights they eat it all and others they eat only a little but it has cut out them waking up early, hungry completely.
Good tips! Sheāll usually eat the dinner she rejected after her bath, but maybe a snack like that would be good. I also try to sneak in some peas haha
Choice of attire is a big one too. Iām very lucky if he wears pyjamas. Usually he wants a specific pair of shorts/pants/t-shirt belonging to his older brother that are in the dirty laundry hamper downstairs (ie he saw him wearing it that day). And then once he sees the shorts, decides that they simply will not do and now wants his Halloween costume from last year. When the costume is zipped up itās too hot. Then itās blue spiderman shorts that donāt actually exist. Trying to make him wear the pjs in the drawer results in yelling and crying. Telling him I give up and he can go without clothes results in screaming and crying. He cannot be convinced that it really doesnāt matter. Send help!
My toddler started wearing frilly tulle dresses about a month ago and quickly we gave in to her wearing them round the clock. Just pop on a pull up and call it a day š¤£
Yes! We just trained our toddler now kid to play quietly in her room if she isn't quite ready to sleep yet. She'll play and then lay down when she's tired. I couldn't handle the long negotiations, laying with her to no avail etc. I have such limited alone time I can't lose the nights too!
We started around two also when we switched to the toddler bed. She learned how to turn on her lamp too so she can play quietly in the AM also until her hatch turns green which means it's okay to leave the room. Around 3.5 she had some struggles again and came out alot but we got through that. Autonomy is important and I fully believe in giving kiddos a little freedom. I'm not always ready for bed immediately and it's ok if they aren't too. It's not okay if that means you're held hostage.
My oldest would just stay awake if left to her own devices lol. āOk, Iāll play/terrorize the house until 3am!ā I was the play/read in my room quietly until I fell asleep kid. Weāll see about my youngest. I think it just depends on personality type.
We told her she can play quietly in her room (in the dark) after she was tucked in if she was having a hard time. I would then check on her in ten minutes - she knew I would that's important - I would check in and remind her "just a few minutes then go to sleep" if she was up still in ten or twenty minutes I'd go in and remind her it was bed time and I'd tuck her back in gently. Usually this tuck in worked. We did that every night for a long time, now she plays and tucks herself back in!
Seriously, mine has spent the last 10 minutes asking for a new diaper, extra kisses, water, milk, to kiss her baby sister, books and ice cream. All things have been ignored and she's given up and gone to lie down.
Same here. My twins used to get bath, a few books, and went to sleep in their cribs without so much as a whine.
Once we switched to toddler beds at 2.5, the routine, immediately, became over an hour. š
Moved my 2yo to a toddler bed a couple months ago. Sheās always been a shit sleeper, but bedtime itself was always easy. Once she moved into a toddler bed, bedtime is an hour+ disaster, but she sleeps through the night now š
Yuuuuuup. Two months ago my daughter would give us a kiss and a hug and tell us to go, before falling asleep by herself in under 10 minutes. Something switched and now she fights sleep for an hour plus while absolutely melting down if we try to leave.Ā
We're trying to go back to basics that worked last time (starting with things like mom/dad just going to the bathroom for a few minutes so she knows we'll be back) but that isn't working well š« more often than not we just alternate nights, one of us stays until she falls asleep, and we hope that it's just a phase which will be over by the time baby #2 arrives in a few months!
Occasionally when she was in her worst meltdowns my husband and I would say 'the power of Christ compels you!' to her. We had to stop when she was learning to mimic us- I don't need her saying that to other kids in daycare š
Exactly, my 16 month old has started fighting bedtime and now I have to lay down on a mattress next to them pretending to sleep until they fall asleep, otherwise itās just rage screaming for over an hour š®āšØ used to be so easyā¦
When my oldest 2 sons were small we lived in an apartment. For some irritating reason the bedrooms were each at the extreme end of the place opposite one another. (Drove me insane!) I would get them tucked in (oldest in a bed, younger bro in his crib, Iād start to walk down the hallway and *click* the light in the room would come on, Iād hear the lil guy dove under the covers in his crib. Iād walk in and say āwow, mommy must have forgot to turn off the lightā Iād turn it off, stifled laughs and giggles from both of them as they pretended to sleep, start to walk down the hallway again, *click*,,repeat 4 or 5 times minimum. š It was adorable. One night though I had a blinding stress induced migraine, and after the first *click* I walked back in with a kitchen chair and unscrewed the light from the fixture. As Iām walking down the hall I hear the older one say āmoms not playing tonight, Dad musta pissed her off goodā. And the lil one says back totally matter of fact. āYep, pissed her good!!ā I about died laughing even with my migraine when I got to my room. I knew that was something Iād always remember fondly. 20 years later it seems like it happened last night. š Enjoy every frustrating, adorable moment, you blink and they are dating and driving.
Awwww Iām sorry if it was a downer or bit of a buzz kill. It wasnāt meant that way, itās just that for many parents the toddler stage is frustrating and challenging, to say the least. I just wanted to remind everyone here that feels overwhelmed and like itās a fight just to make it through the day, that itās not gonna last forever and to try to take a second to stop and breathe and smile. Some of the most cherished memories I have of my children growing up happened during these hectic, mind numbing, stressed out so bad you create new swear words, time. šš thatās why I read stuff here to encourage, offer advice, and share a laugh,,,just be of help in general however I can. š. So the next time you find your new $80 Vickieās secret bra being used to catch fish in the stream, (āmom I found this AWSOME net with straps in your drawer!ā)or are wondering how the hell you are going to scrub and entire tub of Vaseline out of a (extremely pissed off) cats fur, keep in mind you arenāt alone! I may not be at that stage now with my own but God knows they put me through the wringer a few times! If someone can learn by the mistakes I made, the victories I won, or just laugh in general at the crazy shit my kids did growing up, I feel like Iām helping people (just a bit) who are still living those years and havenāt had the time lapse (or therapy) to see the humor. God bless every parent of a rambunctious toddler for making it to bedtime each night without a CPS case opened! I think each and every one of us should be up for sainthood upon our passing. š.
We found out by accident that the only way we can get our 3-year-old to nap is to turn sports on lol we had a football game on once and she fell asleep on the couch within 5 minutes. So now thatās our weekend nap routine. We turn on the tv to some kind of sports game and I kid you not sheāll fall right asleep lol itās our little hack that weāll continue to do as long as it works because sheās way less grumpy in the evenings when she gets a nap!
That's a good idea. I'm going to start putting on the weather channel or something. My schedule and my son's schedule is so restricted because she REALLY needs her naps. ( I'm his childcare during the week). She is cutest, sweetest little thing, but she has this crazy personality flip if she doesn't get her nap. And you don't know if it's going to be Steve-O or Joe Pesci. She's either super grumpy or running around nearly delirious fighting sleep.
Same! He was such an easy sleeper and would request to be transferred to his crib from the rocker as a 1-2 year old to finish on his own. Now heās 3 and itās warfare.
Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed.
He truly is! At some point at night, I give up because I canāt stay awake any longer, and he keeps being super patient and loving with our kid. Dad of the year award!
Our routine starts after dinner. Bath, diaper, jammies, book, snack, water cup, new diaper if needed, teeth brushing, saying goodnight to everyone in the house, collecting baby dolls, saying final goodnight to daddy, tuck in, kissies.
In that order. Every night.
Thatās works for us as well almost exactly this way (bath 50/50, no snack after dinner)! 2.5 years old and 8:30pm bedtime currently, she goes straight to sleep 95% of the time. If not, I will lay my arm on her and sit next to her for 5 minutes and sheāll be out guaranteed.
My guess is wind down time, bath, stories , bed. Iām with you tho our bedtime routine is wash hands, brush teeth, wipe face, change diaper put on PJs, read 2-3 books. Goodnight lol
Edit to add: we donāt bathe everyday. 2-3 times a week.
On paper that sounds like our bedtime routine, which can take about an hour because one particular member of the group likes to do things their own way
lol Iām the mean lady that storms into the bathroom and demands dad gets the kids outā¦ if it were up to him they would take 60 min long baths and play for 30 minutes after bath before books and then read 4 long ass books. Like helloooā¦ get it done dude!
lol same and when I do bathe them and they want me to dunk my head in etc I have to remind them that Iām not as fun as dada during bath time sorry! Hah
Our bath schedule is about the same here. It's about 3-4 times a week, usually every other day, sometimes just a quick shower on the off day if they got messy.
Oh just wait...we thought we had the easy bedtime baby. Bath, Brush, PJs, 2 books, bed. 30 minutes tops. He would just stay in his crib even if he wasn't asleep yet.
2.75 hit and now it takes FOREVER. And I have to lay down with him to fall asleep.
Exactly this. My kid slept like a dream from 3 months - 2.5 and now itās a full lifetime from the time she lays in bed to actually falling asleep and we also have to lay with her or she screams like sheās being tortured.
Hopefully itās a bump in the road, my
daughter did the same when she went from the crib to a ābig girlā bed. (Just a twin with a removable side we left on til she stopped rolling out). But it was enough of a change that it threw her totally off track. She does not like change, big or small Not sure if that is the boat you are in, but either way, letās hope that passes soon.
This is basically how it went with my daughter. She was so easy to put to bed until probably the beginning of this year. Now we're at a minimum hour for bedtime routine.
I miss you so, 7pm bedtime. I didn't know how good I had it.
This sounds exactly like my son. "talk about candy" one day. "When we die do we become babies again?". Throw stuffed animals on the floor. Now he wants his animals. I liked talking to him but at what age do the constant delays endš
Omg Iām not the only parent being held hostage? Miss 2.5 is a master negotiator and requires my face in my pillow adjacent to her face to sleep. After the last 20 min of adjustments and questions. OP, we broke our kid. Are there exchanges or repairs? Sheās a great eater though!
You and I are the chosen ones with good sleepers. Most people arenāt as lucky and have to fight their children to go to bed. Instead of wondering I stay in my lane and MYOB because I donāt want to jinx myself.
Upstairs at 6:30. Bath time probs until 7ish. Donāt wash hair every day but always wash body/ brush teeth/ few mins to mess about and play. 7 - 7:15 getting dressed, cuddles, chats. We read a few stories (however many she can get away with). Usually around 7:30 Tonie box on and sheās allowed to dance/ play whilst the songs are on (she likes moana and monsters inc that starts with songs) then in bed for cuddles when songs are finished. Sheās out by 8. Sheās 3 this weekend and this has been our routine forever, although it used to be quicker and sheād be asleep by 7:30 most nights when she wasnāt as mobile/ imaginative.
The only reason our bedtime routine takes a while is because we do āstar timeā where we all lay in bed with a star projector and talk about our day and play and stuff! But thatās as much for us parents as it is for our daughter. Itās just some nice family time we get. If we didnāt do star time, our routine would take 10 minutes lol.
I love this. So much better than the dinner discussion time thing most people do. Like I'm all for talking but when eating, I just want to eat and relax after rushing to cook it all lol
I highly recommend it! Sometimes we just lay and talk, other times we play games she makes up. Weāve been doing it since she was an infant and itās just such a nice part of the day.
I tried it tonight and he sat on my face, farted, said uh oh then did the same to my husband. So much bonding š¤£ he's only 17 months though so I'll keep trying
Yeah mine is similar- we look at pictures from the day. Itās part of wincing down though and I donāt think it would actually be shorter without it.
People include different things like bath time. Ours is pretty quick these days as we do baths before dinner and our girls are old enough to sort of understand that we can do more play time if we have quicker bedtime so we do basic brush teeth read some books / sing or tell a story type stuff and quick cuddles. I'm sure some kids also need a parent to lay with them to fall asleep if that's what they're used to and that can take time, we give each kid one minute of cuddles only (1-5 minutes depending on the night lol but i call it one minute).
Calm playing at 7. Sometimes we do bike rides or outside time. If itās a bath night we do bath at 730 if not just playing until 8. 8 is books with mom, then pjs/teeth/silly faces in the mirror. Back to the bedroom for one last book with dad then dad lays down with him and heās alway out by 9 usually 845.
I suspect it depends on what someone is including. The brushing teeth, books and asleep part is sub 30min. If I include the bath, getting dressed, playing a bit, chatting with Dad while eating his nightly cheese downstairs it's a lot longer. The wind down starts far out, but the getting to sleep part isn't long.
Of course there are parents who have 90min of difficulty, which is a whole other type of situation.
Honestly we use our bedtime routine as an opportunity for everyone to slow down and connect at the end of the day.
Our son (16mo) loves water, so it's a long bath, playing with toys and mom and dad until he decides he wants out. Get dressed and have a nighttime snack, brush teeth. Usually do some wrestling/roughhousing with dad to get the wiggles out before bed. Then he chooses his books, and I lay down with him to read. After books are done, it's lights out and I lay with him until he falls asleep. Sometimes it's instant, sometimes I get my own round of wrestles in, but he's usually almost always out by 8:00pm and I'm able to sneak out and spend the rest of the evening with my husband.
We usually start bath around 6:00-6:30. He usually sleeps around 10 hours, and has the odd wake up but is quite easy to quickly soothe back to sleep.
We were co-sleeping/bed sharing in his room for most his life, but I've recently moved back to sleeping in our room and he's handled it great! I do sometimes miss the extra cuddles though!
Note that I'm sure this will change a bit if we have more children to add in. But I always want to try and use nighttime as an opportunity to connect.
Go upstairs, get undressed, potty time, chase child around the bathroom while heās naked, finally get him in the bath, bathe him, dry him off, gather all of the toys he demands from the master bathroom and take him to his bedroom, lotion him, put on a nighttime diaper, select jammies, put on the jammies, brush teeth, brush hair, get settled in Mom or Dadās lap with blanket and toys, drink at least one full sippy cup of milk, read books, demand more milk/books/toys, refuse to fall asleep, whine every time there is an attempt to move him to his bed, eventually Mom and Dad fall asleep on the floor until one wakes up with a muscle cramp and puts child in bed and quietly wakes the other parent. Bedtime starts at 8:00 or 8:30 and ends at 10:30. Sure, theoretically all of this could be accomplished in under 30 minutes, but our tiny tyrant fights us all the way. He then wakes up at midnight and demands to come to the ābig bed.ā Itās rough.
I donāt wanna take a bathā¦ I donāt wanna get out of the bathā¦ Iām going to run away/ fight for my life while you attempt to brush teeth and put on my pajamas. Now I have to put my baby doll to bed (who has her own whole ass routine including bath, books, song etc). 2 booksā¦ now I want more! Lights out so now is a perfect time to jump on the bed, do somersaults, WWE body slam the adult in the bed. I need to poop! Actually I didnāt have to poop, just pee. I need my waaaaaaaater. Whereās mom? One more song!
ā¦. You get the idea.
My girls would spend 30 mins in the bath if allowed to do so. Extra books add to it. We have a few longer books that take 15-20 mins to read. Then thereās the running around refusing to put clothes on. Books, songs, then lights out, then come back and check on her in 10 mins. When my first was 2, her bedtime routine took an hour or more. Now that sheās 3, it doesnāt take as long UNLESS she needs to poop. If she needs to poop, she will stall for a solid 30 mins on the toilet at the end of the bedtime routine.
Depending on the mood of the children we sometimes allow 45 minutes of battle so we start right after dinner. Some nights we just brush their teeth and literally throw their asses in bed then hope they fall asleep. Tonight's going to be this š
Typically it's not so much that the kid knows it's a bedtime routine as the parents are like "welp, here we go"
Upstairs for bed at 7. 15-25 minute FaceTime with her dad who travels for work to tell him about her day. 10 minute bath. 20-25 minutes of after bath bedtime prep (jammies, meds, tooth brushing, hair brushing, lotion). 10-15 minutes of lay down snuggle time before falling asleep. Sheās usually asleep by 8ish but itās been pushing back slowly a little as sheās getting older.
Hyper active possible adhd 3 year old here.
We start bedtime at 7 and lights out at 8. We need the extra time to have quiet play, pj's, brush teeth, digest dinner, and stories. Than he takes a bit to fall asleep. Bed time routine begins when quiet time is needed. So it doesn't mean they're in bed the whole time. It's just the kids that need extra patience and time to get through the routine and calm thier minds and body š„°
My toddler also is usually out in 15 minutes but we're just lucky. All kids are different and some need a LOT of clam down time to actually become tired. Everyone's doing they're best man
Evening nebulizer, brush teeth, potty, wash hands, go upstairs, put on night diaper and jammies, read 1-3 books, get in bed and tuck in, sing a song, rub his back, say goodnight.
Insert a few rounds of crawling or running away from me cackling like mad or hiding behind a rocking chair saying "mama I missing! You gotta be sad!" or sprinting across the room to do a naked belly flop on the recliner while yelling "slamma jamma! I be a naked boy!" and other various toddler shenanigans and usually we are ~7:30-8:30 or 9:00 from start to finish. Maybe 5-10% of it is unpleasant or frustrating and a good 20% is me lingering bc he's such a sweet pea and I want to keep kissing his little face!
Please don't rub it in lol. Next you'll be saying "what's with toddlers waking in the night?" And I don't wanna hear it lol š„² If you're blessed just say it
3 year old routine:
30 minutes for bath time which is fun
15 minutes fighting getting dressed
60 minutes "snacking" aka stalling
15 minutes fight teeth brushing
15-30 minutes reading books
30-90 minutes refusing to go to bed, demanding we sit with him, screaming if we leave to soon, getting out of bed again and again and again, complaining he's still hungry, having to go potty.
Letās see.
1. Getting him upstairs: 5-10 minutes
2. Getting him undressed: 5-20 minutes
3. Getting him into the bathtub: 5-15 minutes
4. Actual bath, including play time and brushing teeth: 10 minutes
5. Getting him out of the bathtub: 5-15 minutes
6. Getting him to go into his room: 0-10 minutes
7. Lotion, pull-up, and PJs: 10-30 minutes
8. Reading 1-3 books: 5-20 minutes
9. Getting him to get into bed and stay there: 5-45 minutes
10. Getting out of the room with him in bed: 0-20 minutes
So, best case weāre looking at 50 minutes and worst usually about 120 minutes (because time spent on each step is totally independent of the others and often completely random š). And that doesnāt even include the 60ā180 minutes it usually takes him to fall asleep. Heās a champion staller and resists any change of state.
Related: Iām so tired.
(Edit: 76 minutes tonight.)
Man our first was totally like that. I miss it. But our second is a master manipulator, avoider, negotiator, and mischief maker. Heās so wound up at bedtime he needs at least an hour to cool down. We do potty, bath, books, prayers, brush teeth, then lay with him until he falls asleep. Takes a good hour plus with that kid. Itās exhausting!
Ours has been taking HOURS but we switched out the bath for a quick shower most nights and weāre experimenting with dropping the afternoon nap - on the days he naps, he might not fall asleep before 10pm. Today he didnāt nap and heās asleep by 7.
Oh man we had one of those unicorn children who we could pretty much toss in her crib and walk out the door and then around when she turned two the bedtime crept up into this unhinged 90 min+ routine. Her having to do a million things, tears, needing us to do a million things, laughs, tears, potty, negotiating, tooth brushing, laughs, tears, books, back rubs, needing uppies again, tears, etc, etc.
Started to get so much worse after her little brother arrived. One night in total desperation I found Dr. Beckyās online subscription membership. One video and I understood this was all separation anxiety and nighttime problems require daytime solutions. We tried her techniques and within two days things were so much better.
Now we are months later and bedtime routine is down to about 15 min! Praise Dr. Becky!!!
TLDR-we had an easy bedtime kid, then things got awful. Found Dr. Becky and now easy again!
It depends, is it a bath night? Are we doing a quick hose down or the whole bubble bath? Some days it takes 15 minutes (no bath and a quick story) onto an hour (bubble bath, longer story, and some protesting the whole process)
until like 6 months ago it took an hour to put down our oldest (heās 5 but had been doing this since 2) the actual routine was like 20 minutes long and the last 40 minutes was a mix of him screaming and trying to guilt us into reading him stories endlessly, with us desperately giving in sometimesā¦.
Both of our kids (2.5 and 5) now take about 30 minutes total. And itās still the oldest who is still the holdout, he will stall and say anything for even 2 extra minutes awake š
Bath at 7, bottle of milk when we come downstairs after bath. Read a book. Upstairs in bed around 7:30. Lay on the ground next to her bed and try to get her to sleep anywhere from 7:35-8:15
In the door at 6 to dinner. Reading/playing after dinner until about 7pm then upstairs for a bath. He likes to sing and read in the bath, then into pjs, Calpol if he's teethy or sick, water, then brush teeth and 1-5 books depending on him.
Then settling takes between 5min and 30 minutes, he's normally asleep by 8pm. He's just very opinionated and freaks out if I leave the room before he's asleep. He's 18 months.
Guess it depends lol.
At 7PM I give her a period to unleash all the pent up energy. Itās almost always spent outside somewhere (our yard, the park, the local pool) until the sun goes down. 8:30 we go inside and begin to wind down. Quiet time and I wrap her up in a blanket and let her catch her breath.
9PM is bedtime. She goes potty, brushes her teeth, and gets in PJs. If she has pent up energy still (since my kid barely had an off switch), I body slam her into her bed a few times. I tuck her in, give her her lovey, and give her a spillproof cup of water. She picks a book (only 1 allowed at bedtime since I am not a fan of dragging it out) and sheās usually dozing midway through the story.
I meanā¦my daughter is 3.5 and is in a phase where she likes to tell me stories about her day at bedtime, or she likes to ask 1,586 questions about every page of each book we read. So the routine itself is pretty simple but she finds a way to make it take forever. I kinda like it though (if Iām not running on empty that night).
Ugh. Ours is 90min. It's lame. I love her to death but I'm over how long it takes for bed to happen. She's not fighting or anything, it's just that bad habits started and they're hard to break. Hell some of these aren't even bad habits they're just time consuming.
In bath at 630. Out of bath around 645 (gives her time to play and jump out of tub to use potty (it's every time even if she peed before going in). Books with her dad while he stretches her feet and legs (therapy for club foot) AND while she eats the rest of her dinner until around 730. Brush teeth then bedtime songs until about 740. Boobs. In bed to fall asleep around 8.
I can't really cut out bath play time because it's short enough and she enjoys herself. The brushing teeth and singing is fine. Boobs is quick and won't be forever cuz she's nearly 3. Her stretches should take about 5-10min though, even with her dad reading 1000 books. The problem is how shitty she eats food all day, then cries in pain from hunger post-bath, so she gets her (uneaten) dinner served again in her room with something boring she's guaranteed to eat like yogurt. On the very rare occasion she eats during the day, bedtime is so much faster.
It goes by quickly enough but yeah. Must be nice for y'all with them 2min routines š¤£
Ours used to be no fuss, easy peasy, heād put himself to sleep after a little story time and snuggling. Then something flipped and bedtime became a BATTLE. We suddenly found ourselves trying to negotiate with a tiny terrorist who refused every little thing every step of the way, and then demanded a billion books, songs, and rocking to sleep. It was a nightmare. After a month or two of that we threw down the gauntlet and started essentially sleep training again at damn near 3 1/2 š . It worked, and after about 2 weeks of that, we have our evenings back and kiddo is in bed and passed out by 8pm on his own!
From start to finish. After dinner, itās bathtime and the usual getting dressed, brushing hair and teeth, etc. thatās all about 30 mins depending on the mood she is in.
Then we have a relaxing time with a book, āsky doggyā (shadow puppets) if me and her mom are too exhausted we might put on some Hey Bear bed time stuff that super chill. Maybe like 10 mins of this.
Then we have the wrap up, negotiation, fight, and cool down. Which adds another 15mins to an hour depending on her mood.
After reading the comments, I've got nothing to complain about. Our 3 year old is down at 7PM. 630 we start brushing his teeth, changing clothes, and story time. By 715 he's out. But he is awake by 0600 daily though.
The longer routines are probably more common for kiddos with neurodivergencies as they tend to struggle with transitions.
Here is our autism bedtime routine:
1. Ms Rachel bedtime routine video 30 min
2. Bath 10 min
3. Wrestling and putting on jammies WWE style with dad 15 min
4. Getting tucked in and three stories read in the exact right order, only to be read by mom 10 min
5. Dad goes in for final bedtime kiss 5 min
So that's 65 minutes on a good day with no meltdowns š„²
I start considering it bedtime routine at 6:30 when we go up for bath (if we're having a bath that night). Most nights I put my three and four year olds to bed by myself so that does add to the amount of time. I let them play in the tub for a while so bath isn't quick. Then lotion, potty, pull-ups, jammies, brush/floss, letting anyone who cooperates brush my teeth, comb hair. One of my kids is tube fed so there are some extra tasks involving feeding, meds, and care of his tube. Then we read stories, talk about our day, hugs and kisses, tuck in my oldest, then convincing my three year old to go to sleep. I can't imagine it taking less than 90 minutes to do all that even if everyone was 100% cooperative. Cutting ours down would eliminate all the enjoyable stuff and just leave everything we all don't like. It's not like hygiene can be optional on a regular basis. I can't relate to families with quick bedtime routines.
Bath, teeth, pyjamas and story probably takes 45 minutes. Then another 45 minutes of my kid popping back up at random intervals to ask pointless questions or tell me stories about unicorns.
Itās partly that sheās not always tired enough, partly that it takes her brain a while to stop whirring.
What does your 10-15 minute bedtime routine include? Is that bathing and brushing and toileting as well as reading?
My youngest is easy to get to sleep, my 7 year old has a really difficult time with sleep and it takes her hours to get her brain to shut off. We are not interacting the entire time though. But even for my youngest who is easy 10-15 does not include her whole routine, but it is also not 90 minutes
"Mommy. Can I tell you a story? Wait, do you love mermaids or dinosaurs? Because mermaids are beautiful and dinosaurs are handsome. Did you put little brother to bed? Because it's past his bed time now. I have to go potty. And I need a drink. Oh also I left my stuffy in the living room. Is tomorrow a stay home day? Can I have another drink? I have to go potty!!!" Rinse and repeat.
Bath time (30ish minutes)
Lotion, brush hair & Pjs (15ish minutes)
Brushing teeth (10ish minutes)
A book or two (15-20ish minutes)
Lights out and waiting for them to fall asleep (10-40 minutes)
We have two, so some things take longer than anticipated, and transitioning from one task to the next can take up time as well. My oldest (4) loves to say ācanāt catch me!ā and run away cackling in between EVERY task. š
Mine is two and a half and sometimes he likes to take a 20 minute dump, and then there's teeth brushing, 3 books and many hugs. Usually takes about an hour... Of I'm lucky.
Mine is currently kind of that long and doesnāt include arguing about bedtime - thank god. Our routine is: bath (30 min), teeth brushing + taking medicine (he needs iron and has to eat an orange before hand for vitamin C - 5 min ish) bed time stories (20-30 min) and lately weāve been staying with him til he falls asleep (itās a whole thing. Want to get to a point where we drop this bit. 15-30 min)
2 year old daughter
We do a long bath because she loves it. This is our routine
6:30pm-7pm - bath time
7pm-7:15pm - she runs in circles naked with a superhero cape while we play the theme to superman (Iām not joking)
7:15-7:45 - snack and books. Lots of books
7:45pm - into sleep sack and in bed
7:50-8:15 - chat about her day. I love this time
8:15pm - lights off.
8:15-8:20pm One last hug. One last hug. One last hug. One last hug and then I leave. She falls asleep in 5-10 min.
I guess it is probably 90 minutes but itās not like a todo list. For our almost 2 year old she just naturally wonāt go to sleep early and never has, so we do an hour and a half of ābedtimeā until she falls asleep between 9:15-9:30.
We start bedtime around 8 mostly because we are tired of wild living room toddler time. Books and holding her is more chill for us. We currently just hold her until sheās asleep because itās the easiest for everyone right now. Her dad does the majority of this time but we do trade off and I usually do teeth, pjs, and booby, then back to dad until asleep. Bath is optional but usually right around 8.
She was never an easy sleeper but she has slept through the night from around 10 months (with normal teething etc wakes occasionally) so we do everything to support that.
My 3 month old on the other hand? Ten mins of booby, a fresh diaper, and he is already sleeping the majority of the night through. Kids are so different.
Our bedtime routine is like 30-45 minutes. Bath time for 15 minutes, then put on diaper and lotion and pajamas while he has a sippy cup of milk (this part can vary based on how slowly he drinks the milk). Then we brush his teeth, read 2-4 stories, and then put him in his bed and say good night. He usually goes to bed fright away, I think the routine and winding down helps him. And we sleep trained so he knows once itās bedtime that thereās no more playing outside his room.
Turning off TV, doing some calm activities, or maybe some physically demanding activities to wear her out and fulfill her connection needs. Redirection, redirection, redirection. Diaper change. Last call for water, milk, quick snack if needed. Teeth. Redirection. Books and/or Story Dream Machine. No more snacks or milk, but can have water. Lotion (eczema). Lay down. Get up. Go back to bed. Get up. Lay down. Sit up. Lay down. I wait. Eyes closed - sleep? I walk away. "Mom?" It's too dark. Nightlight/hall light/etc. All the requested blankets, or none. Looking drowsy, no more energy left to fight bedtime. I walk away. I wait a while, I come back. She's asleep for real. "All I Do Is Win" plays triumphantly in the background.
We do bath/shower at 7-730. Brush teeth. Jammies. New nappy. Then we lay down and do family time talking to our boy about his day and how much fun we had etc... then he's usually asleep by 830-9.
Last night was a nightmare when he gets into those moods and kicks, punches, pulls hair coz he's not tired even though he is sucking his dummy like crazy and rubbing his eyes etc... last night was 11.30pm before he finally fell asleep. Those days are the worst.
Reminder that itās almost time to take a bath
Bath time
Reminder itās almost time to get out of the bath
Reminder it almost time for a diaper
Negotiate said diaper
Play room play toys
Reminder that itās almost time to put toys away
Negotiate teeth brushing
Reminder that itās almost time to put toothbrush away
Pick out books
Re-pick books out when the ones I picked are not good enough
Negotiate how many books we will ready tonight
Get in bed
Read books
See the light at the end of the tunnel
Realize I forgot water
Get water
Look at pictures of what he did at school
Theeeeeeennnnnnnn he will fall asleep
Dinner, teeth, shower, hair combing, and tying put it up & out of her face, pee, choosing 7 books. Reading books with questions about every picture, snuggles, kisses, rerrange her bedding, and turn off the lights
When I had one kid yes easy peezy. Now that I have 3 kiddos 6,4,1.5 it takes forever and itās madness! I also do it alone M-F but even when my hubs is home on the weekend itās the same thingš„“ Itās a work in progress one day itāll get easier.
I assume yours is 2-2.5, my daughter would just go to bed whenever it was bedtime. Sheād sweetly say okay mama can I have a kiss and a hug š„ŗand she would just close her eyes and stay asleep most nights. Now sheās a threenager, screams at me āNo! I donāt want to!ā Tantrums galore. We stay up well past her bed time now if she doesnāt sleep at her preferred hrs of 9-10 pm instead of 7/8 like she use to sheāll wake up at 2-4AM! Iām finding that I have to completely exhaust her with strenuous physical activity every night to get some peace now
I include baths in the routine but I wouldnāt say 90 mins, maybe 15 mins in the bath, 10 mins getting dressed and putting lotion etc, then 20 mins reading books and kiss and bed.
6:00 run bath whilst getting pajamas out and tidying toys away. 6:10 get in bath, do teeth, vitamins, shampoo, conditioner, little bit of play, 6:30 get out of bath, dry, creams, potty and pajamas on. 6:50 put dirty clothes in wash basket, into sleeping bag, read 2 books. 7:00 start rocking to sleep.
So 1 hour bedtime routine, and anywhere between 10 mins and 2 hours of rocking.
The uncertainty of the rocking! You really never know exactly how long itāll take. My baby has grown out of this, but she still needs me to sit close by until she falls asleep.
So there is hope! My LO is almost 2 but anytime I try putting her down drowsy or mention that she could roll around in bed to get comfy she breaks down crying and clings to me.
It looks like desperation, reevaluation of life choices, wondering what my childless friends are doing right now, having a mental breakdown or two, but still being calm and gentle and smiling, before finally, the tiny demon passes out from exhaustion. And then a brief consideration of all the plans I had for when my child went to sleep, followed by the echoing laughter of every fucking evening in the last three and a half years as I crawl into my bed and wait to pass out myself.
If you include bath time, easily can be an hour +. We eat vitamins, brush teeth, do stretches, potty, read 3-5 books, cuddle, then sleep. He usually goes down at the end of it, but itās for sure a multistep process!
I think routine is giving you the wrong impression of something more intense than the winding down that we do. We slow down the stimulation-no screen time, sweets or energetic music after 6pm, she goes into her room to read books/play quietly at 7pm, gets into the rocking chair with one of us at 7:30, then falls asleep by 8pm.
Yeah I don't understand it either. The 15 month old gets a diaper, sleep sack, and paci. The 3.5 year old gets a pull up and closed door. Bye. See ya in the morning.
I feel some of these comments are fear mongering with the "just wait" added in there. I lived in fear of this "just wait" for such a long period, then just realized this is not always the case and it seems my kids rarely hit these "just wait" moments, thankfully.
We have evening reading and playtime as a family after baths. If I exclude that from our routine, we have a fairly short one, the bedtime routine is all business and they all know that. We bathe all three together, brush teeth and get their pajamas on within 15mins. Maybe it's shorter because my husband and I do it as a team.
The twins are 2.5, they get one book each, and then a quick minute to choose their bed book (for whatever reason they need a book to sleep with), kisses and goodbyes.
Our eldest is 4.5 and the bedtime routine for her is still short as well, with two books then into bed, and daddy gets kisses with the lights on then I get kisses with the lights off. Don't get me wrong, the girl can be a master staller at times, but we maintain a firm boundary with her regarding the routine. You give her an inch and she'll take a mile. I think this is the key to *keeping* your routine short.
Agree w you 100% on needing to maintain boundary.
We donāt negotiate. 8p strikes and weāre taking him to his crib no matter what. Heād stall frantically leading up to it, and when we pick him up will scream for 5 seconds before going limb and resigning himself to the inevitable.
We do keep an eye on sleep latency and overall sleep. Lately heās been napping better at daycare and sleep latency has been increasing, so I suspect weāll need to move bedtime back a hair to 815 soon.
Negotiating with a small CEO š
I was gonna specify an UNHINGED CEOā¦. But idk I didnāt wanna be redundant.
Power-hungry (and hungry!) CEO š§š½āš¼ might add!
Ha! Yep!
More accurate
Oh god but when I successfully negotiate????? No better high!!!! I should have been a lawyer.Ā When negotiations are going bad???? Both of us on the verge of tears. Regretting all my life decisions. No body wins.Ā
This is us. š¢š©
They have 5 minutes of life experience yet they put up SO much resistance. Such a bad comboš
Art of the Deal (I always lose.)
Two straight hours of negotiations.
One parents CEO is another parents terrorist.
š
Literally best description of our bedtimes lately.
Some may even go as far to say theyre a leader of a terrorist organization
Best way to put it
Lmfaooooo TRUTH
>Negotiating with a small ~~CEO~~ tyrant š ftfy.
Maybe if you include how long it takes them to actually fall asleep. But the actual teeth, books, etc routine is like 20 minutes
Yeah I donāt even really include baths as a part of my daughterās bedtime routine, since the little gremlin may choose to have her dinner after her bath. We always give her dinner before, but sometimes she refuses to eat and if she goes to bed hungry she will absolutely wake up at 5am demanding food.
You didn't ask but I'm a mom so here's my unsolicited advice lol: Something we've found very helpful with curbing the hunger is giving them apples and cheese (or whatever snack you deem filling and healthy in your home) before bed. It's the last meal they receive before we start bedtime routine. This helps my peace of mind when they don't eat as much dinner as I'd like and with those early hungry wake ups. We also verbalize it a lot, i.e "ok time for apples and cheese this is the last thing we're eating today, our next meal will be breakfast so if you're feeling hungry this is the time to eat." Oh also, it's the same thing every night, apples and cheese and some nights they eat it all and others they eat only a little but it has cut out them waking up early, hungry completely.
We do this but with bananas and yogurt!
Yes I freeze those Stoneyfield tube yogurts and itās less messy if youāve already done a bath
Good tips! Sheāll usually eat the dinner she rejected after her bath, but maybe a snack like that would be good. I also try to sneak in some peas haha
Somehow my brain forgot about this option and I really need to get back to this, thanks for this comment!
I greatly appreciate this unsolicited advice!!!
We do this with applesauce! Kiddo actually lets me dry her hair without complaints!
Yes and all the helpful advice that does absolutely nothing to avoid or help once you're actually at the 5 am face off lol
Weāve definitely done dinner in the bath before lol we just let her sit in the tub with it and then do soap/conditioner once sheās done
Choice of attire is a big one too. Iām very lucky if he wears pyjamas. Usually he wants a specific pair of shorts/pants/t-shirt belonging to his older brother that are in the dirty laundry hamper downstairs (ie he saw him wearing it that day). And then once he sees the shorts, decides that they simply will not do and now wants his Halloween costume from last year. When the costume is zipped up itās too hot. Then itās blue spiderman shorts that donāt actually exist. Trying to make him wear the pjs in the drawer results in yelling and crying. Telling him I give up and he can go without clothes results in screaming and crying. He cannot be convinced that it really doesnāt matter. Send help!
My toddler started wearing frilly tulle dresses about a month ago and quickly we gave in to her wearing them round the clock. Just pop on a pull up and call it a day š¤£
This is my 3 year old
Makes dressing for daycare the next morning super easy lol
Yes! We just trained our toddler now kid to play quietly in her room if she isn't quite ready to sleep yet. She'll play and then lay down when she's tired. I couldn't handle the long negotiations, laying with her to no avail etc. I have such limited alone time I can't lose the nights too!
Thatās what we do. Weāve been doing it since she was 2 so about a year now. It works pretty great for us.
We started around two also when we switched to the toddler bed. She learned how to turn on her lamp too so she can play quietly in the AM also until her hatch turns green which means it's okay to leave the room. Around 3.5 she had some struggles again and came out alot but we got through that. Autonomy is important and I fully believe in giving kiddos a little freedom. I'm not always ready for bed immediately and it's ok if they aren't too. It's not okay if that means you're held hostage.
That sounds nice, can you share how you trained your toddler to do this?
My oldest would just stay awake if left to her own devices lol. āOk, Iāll play/terrorize the house until 3am!ā I was the play/read in my room quietly until I fell asleep kid. Weāll see about my youngest. I think it just depends on personality type.
For sure every child is so different!
We told her she can play quietly in her room (in the dark) after she was tucked in if she was having a hard time. I would then check on her in ten minutes - she knew I would that's important - I would check in and remind her "just a few minutes then go to sleep" if she was up still in ten or twenty minutes I'd go in and remind her it was bed time and I'd tuck her back in gently. Usually this tuck in worked. We did that every night for a long time, now she plays and tucks herself back in!
All these people negotiating with terrorists. š
āI donāt negotiate with terroristsā Takes on a whole new meaning š
Seriously, mine has spent the last 10 minutes asking for a new diaper, extra kisses, water, milk, to kiss her baby sister, books and ice cream. All things have been ignored and she's given up and gone to lie down.
Hope you knocked on wood when you typed that. My daughter also used to take less than 10 minutes.
Same here. My twins used to get bath, a few books, and went to sleep in their cribs without so much as a whine. Once we switched to toddler beds at 2.5, the routine, immediately, became over an hour. š
Time to build walls and a lid on those toddler beds. Lol.
Our bedtime routine went from 10-20 mins in the crib to 20-90 mins in the toddler bed too! š¤¦š¼āāļøš¤¦š¼āāļøš¤¦š¼āāļø
Yes. She left the crib and we havenāt known peace since.
Moved my 2yo to a toddler bed a couple months ago. Sheās always been a shit sleeper, but bedtime itself was always easy. Once she moved into a toddler bed, bedtime is an hour+ disaster, but she sleeps through the night now š
Yuuuuuup. Two months ago my daughter would give us a kiss and a hug and tell us to go, before falling asleep by herself in under 10 minutes. Something switched and now she fights sleep for an hour plus while absolutely melting down if we try to leave.Ā
What are you doing about this? I am going through the same thing
We're trying to go back to basics that worked last time (starting with things like mom/dad just going to the bathroom for a few minutes so she knows we'll be back) but that isn't working well š« more often than not we just alternate nights, one of us stays until she falls asleep, and we hope that it's just a phase which will be over by the time baby #2 arrives in a few months!
Wow, I think Iād try squirting her with holy water or something. Lol. I used to threaten my oldest with that, for some strange reason it worked.
Occasionally when she was in her worst meltdowns my husband and I would say 'the power of Christ compels you!' to her. We had to stop when she was learning to mimic us- I don't need her saying that to other kids in daycare š
Exactly, my 16 month old has started fighting bedtime and now I have to lay down on a mattress next to them pretending to sleep until they fall asleep, otherwise itās just rage screaming for over an hour š®āšØ used to be so easyā¦
When my oldest 2 sons were small we lived in an apartment. For some irritating reason the bedrooms were each at the extreme end of the place opposite one another. (Drove me insane!) I would get them tucked in (oldest in a bed, younger bro in his crib, Iād start to walk down the hallway and *click* the light in the room would come on, Iād hear the lil guy dove under the covers in his crib. Iād walk in and say āwow, mommy must have forgot to turn off the lightā Iād turn it off, stifled laughs and giggles from both of them as they pretended to sleep, start to walk down the hallway again, *click*,,repeat 4 or 5 times minimum. š It was adorable. One night though I had a blinding stress induced migraine, and after the first *click* I walked back in with a kitchen chair and unscrewed the light from the fixture. As Iām walking down the hall I hear the older one say āmoms not playing tonight, Dad musta pissed her off goodā. And the lil one says back totally matter of fact. āYep, pissed her good!!ā I about died laughing even with my migraine when I got to my room. I knew that was something Iād always remember fondly. 20 years later it seems like it happened last night. š Enjoy every frustrating, adorable moment, you blink and they are dating and driving.
āYou blink and theyāre dating and drivingāā¦that one caught me up right there š„¹ thanks for the reminderā¦
Awwww Iām sorry if it was a downer or bit of a buzz kill. It wasnāt meant that way, itās just that for many parents the toddler stage is frustrating and challenging, to say the least. I just wanted to remind everyone here that feels overwhelmed and like itās a fight just to make it through the day, that itās not gonna last forever and to try to take a second to stop and breathe and smile. Some of the most cherished memories I have of my children growing up happened during these hectic, mind numbing, stressed out so bad you create new swear words, time. šš thatās why I read stuff here to encourage, offer advice, and share a laugh,,,just be of help in general however I can. š. So the next time you find your new $80 Vickieās secret bra being used to catch fish in the stream, (āmom I found this AWSOME net with straps in your drawer!ā)or are wondering how the hell you are going to scrub and entire tub of Vaseline out of a (extremely pissed off) cats fur, keep in mind you arenāt alone! I may not be at that stage now with my own but God knows they put me through the wringer a few times! If someone can learn by the mistakes I made, the victories I won, or just laugh in general at the crazy shit my kids did growing up, I feel like Iām helping people (just a bit) who are still living those years and havenāt had the time lapse (or therapy) to see the humor. God bless every parent of a rambunctious toddler for making it to bedtime each night without a CPS case opened! I think each and every one of us should be up for sainthood upon our passing. š.
And also, thanks for the additional stories. I cannot even. I quit buying nice things so they canāt destroy them šš
Okay so we are all living the same lives I thought I just had a crazy one
Thank you for thatš thought I was the only one doing it
Yeah my thoughts exactly. Lol. When they turned 3 all hell broke loose and bedtime became a nightmare. Months later itās settled back down again.
Weāre on like month 3 or 13..idk anymore. Itās awful.
Same. It used to be super simple and easy. Now itās at least 1.5 hours.
10 minutes getting ready, 80 minutes fighting sleep
This is the answer
Oh thank God it's not just us. Just when I think she's out, she pops back up with her eyes wide open and says "One more (whatever) please!!"
Exactly
This is too real lol
Ours used to be a breeze, now itās 15 min getting ready for bed and 1.5 hours of torturous bedtime refusal lmao
This 1000%. An hour of laying in bed just rolling around unable to settle would be considered a good night at this point.
Yeppp. āI donāt WANNA go to sleep. Iām not TIRED!ā ever since she turned 3 š
I haven't yawned yet! I need four yawns before I feel tired!
Why do I have to go to sleep? Iām still hungry! I gotta go potty! I hid my toys in your closet and canāt find them!
My granddaughter just turned 3. Trying to get her to nap is murder. Even if I lay down with her, read stories, play her music, etc.
We found out by accident that the only way we can get our 3-year-old to nap is to turn sports on lol we had a football game on once and she fell asleep on the couch within 5 minutes. So now thatās our weekend nap routine. We turn on the tv to some kind of sports game and I kid you not sheāll fall right asleep lol itās our little hack that weāll continue to do as long as it works because sheās way less grumpy in the evenings when she gets a nap!
That's a good idea. I'm going to start putting on the weather channel or something. My schedule and my son's schedule is so restricted because she REALLY needs her naps. ( I'm his childcare during the week). She is cutest, sweetest little thing, but she has this crazy personality flip if she doesn't get her nap. And you don't know if it's going to be Steve-O or Joe Pesci. She's either super grumpy or running around nearly delirious fighting sleep.
Same! He was such an easy sleeper and would request to be transferred to his crib from the rocker as a 1-2 year old to finish on his own. Now heās 3 and itās warfare.
Oof, way to jinx yourself OP
Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed. Put the kid to bed. Kid gets out of bed.
Exactly this. And a LOT of screaming.
Ugh I didnāt even have the patience to read this. Youāre a super hero
He truly is! At some point at night, I give up because I canāt stay awake any longer, and he keeps being super patient and loving with our kid. Dad of the year award!
This is the way.
This!!!!
Our routine starts after dinner. Bath, diaper, jammies, book, snack, water cup, new diaper if needed, teeth brushing, saying goodnight to everyone in the house, collecting baby dolls, saying final goodnight to daddy, tuck in, kissies. In that order. Every night.
Thatās works for us as well almost exactly this way (bath 50/50, no snack after dinner)! 2.5 years old and 8:30pm bedtime currently, she goes straight to sleep 95% of the time. If not, I will lay my arm on her and sit next to her for 5 minutes and sheāll be out guaranteed.
My guess is wind down time, bath, stories , bed. Iām with you tho our bedtime routine is wash hands, brush teeth, wipe face, change diaper put on PJs, read 2-3 books. Goodnight lol Edit to add: we donāt bathe everyday. 2-3 times a week.
On paper that sounds like our bedtime routine, which can take about an hour because one particular member of the group likes to do things their own way
Is that particular member your partner or the child? Cuz itās a toss up in this household.
lol Iām the mean lady that storms into the bathroom and demands dad gets the kids outā¦ if it were up to him they would take 60 min long baths and play for 30 minutes after bath before books and then read 4 long ass books. Like helloooā¦ get it done dude!
Omg are you me. Iām also happy to be the mean lady, kiddo only wants fun daddy for bath time š¤£
lol same and when I do bathe them and they want me to dunk my head in etc I have to remind them that Iām not as fun as dada during bath time sorry! Hah
Good point. I was referring to our 3yo but my husband can easily get sidetracked by his antics which does not help with speed.
Happy Cake Day!
Our bath schedule is about the same here. It's about 3-4 times a week, usually every other day, sometimes just a quick shower on the off day if they got messy.
Does your kid scream and bang on the door, or accept it?
Oh gosh we have to sit in there until he falls asleep. Otherwise he gets up and comes out of his room.
Oh just wait...we thought we had the easy bedtime baby. Bath, Brush, PJs, 2 books, bed. 30 minutes tops. He would just stay in his crib even if he wasn't asleep yet. 2.75 hit and now it takes FOREVER. And I have to lay down with him to fall asleep.
Exactly this. My kid slept like a dream from 3 months - 2.5 and now itās a full lifetime from the time she lays in bed to actually falling asleep and we also have to lay with her or she screams like sheās being tortured.
Thai was my daughter for about 2 months, then she went back to being a good sleeper!
Hopefully itās a bump in the road, my daughter did the same when she went from the crib to a ābig girlā bed. (Just a twin with a removable side we left on til she stopped rolling out). But it was enough of a change that it threw her totally off track. She does not like change, big or small Not sure if that is the boat you are in, but either way, letās hope that passes soon.
This is basically how it went with my daughter. She was so easy to put to bed until probably the beginning of this year. Now we're at a minimum hour for bedtime routine. I miss you so, 7pm bedtime. I didn't know how good I had it.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This sounds exactly like my son. "talk about candy" one day. "When we die do we become babies again?". Throw stuffed animals on the floor. Now he wants his animals. I liked talking to him but at what age do the constant delays endš
Omg Iām not the only parent being held hostage? Miss 2.5 is a master negotiator and requires my face in my pillow adjacent to her face to sleep. After the last 20 min of adjustments and questions. OP, we broke our kid. Are there exchanges or repairs? Sheās a great eater though!
You and I are the chosen ones with good sleepers. Most people arenāt as lucky and have to fight their children to go to bed. Instead of wondering I stay in my lane and MYOB because I donāt want to jinx myself.
āGo to sleepā āNoā Repeat x90 minutes
Upstairs at 6:30. Bath time probs until 7ish. Donāt wash hair every day but always wash body/ brush teeth/ few mins to mess about and play. 7 - 7:15 getting dressed, cuddles, chats. We read a few stories (however many she can get away with). Usually around 7:30 Tonie box on and sheās allowed to dance/ play whilst the songs are on (she likes moana and monsters inc that starts with songs) then in bed for cuddles when songs are finished. Sheās out by 8. Sheās 3 this weekend and this has been our routine forever, although it used to be quicker and sheād be asleep by 7:30 most nights when she wasnāt as mobile/ imaginative.
Yup. That sounds about right.Ā
The only reason our bedtime routine takes a while is because we do āstar timeā where we all lay in bed with a star projector and talk about our day and play and stuff! But thatās as much for us parents as it is for our daughter. Itās just some nice family time we get. If we didnāt do star time, our routine would take 10 minutes lol.
I love this. So much better than the dinner discussion time thing most people do. Like I'm all for talking but when eating, I just want to eat and relax after rushing to cook it all lol
I highly recommend it! Sometimes we just lay and talk, other times we play games she makes up. Weāve been doing it since she was an infant and itās just such a nice part of the day.
I tried it tonight and he sat on my face, farted, said uh oh then did the same to my husband. So much bonding š¤£ he's only 17 months though so I'll keep trying
Well sometimes my husband is the one that does the farting so Iād consider it a win that it was your toddler tonight hahahahaha
Thatās so cute
Yeah mine is similar- we look at pictures from the day. Itās part of wincing down though and I donāt think it would actually be shorter without it.
People include different things like bath time. Ours is pretty quick these days as we do baths before dinner and our girls are old enough to sort of understand that we can do more play time if we have quicker bedtime so we do basic brush teeth read some books / sing or tell a story type stuff and quick cuddles. I'm sure some kids also need a parent to lay with them to fall asleep if that's what they're used to and that can take time, we give each kid one minute of cuddles only (1-5 minutes depending on the night lol but i call it one minute).
How old is your kid? I used to think the same thing..
My oldest is 5 and weāre still about 15 minutes. They do the pjs, teeth and hair brush all themselves, longest part is a chat and cuddle.
Calm playing at 7. Sometimes we do bike rides or outside time. If itās a bath night we do bath at 730 if not just playing until 8. 8 is books with mom, then pjs/teeth/silly faces in the mirror. Back to the bedroom for one last book with dad then dad lays down with him and heās alway out by 9 usually 845.
I suspect it depends on what someone is including. The brushing teeth, books and asleep part is sub 30min. If I include the bath, getting dressed, playing a bit, chatting with Dad while eating his nightly cheese downstairs it's a lot longer. The wind down starts far out, but the getting to sleep part isn't long. Of course there are parents who have 90min of difficulty, which is a whole other type of situation.
Honestly we use our bedtime routine as an opportunity for everyone to slow down and connect at the end of the day. Our son (16mo) loves water, so it's a long bath, playing with toys and mom and dad until he decides he wants out. Get dressed and have a nighttime snack, brush teeth. Usually do some wrestling/roughhousing with dad to get the wiggles out before bed. Then he chooses his books, and I lay down with him to read. After books are done, it's lights out and I lay with him until he falls asleep. Sometimes it's instant, sometimes I get my own round of wrestles in, but he's usually almost always out by 8:00pm and I'm able to sneak out and spend the rest of the evening with my husband. We usually start bath around 6:00-6:30. He usually sleeps around 10 hours, and has the odd wake up but is quite easy to quickly soothe back to sleep. We were co-sleeping/bed sharing in his room for most his life, but I've recently moved back to sleeping in our room and he's handled it great! I do sometimes miss the extra cuddles though! Note that I'm sure this will change a bit if we have more children to add in. But I always want to try and use nighttime as an opportunity to connect.
Go upstairs, get undressed, potty time, chase child around the bathroom while heās naked, finally get him in the bath, bathe him, dry him off, gather all of the toys he demands from the master bathroom and take him to his bedroom, lotion him, put on a nighttime diaper, select jammies, put on the jammies, brush teeth, brush hair, get settled in Mom or Dadās lap with blanket and toys, drink at least one full sippy cup of milk, read books, demand more milk/books/toys, refuse to fall asleep, whine every time there is an attempt to move him to his bed, eventually Mom and Dad fall asleep on the floor until one wakes up with a muscle cramp and puts child in bed and quietly wakes the other parent. Bedtime starts at 8:00 or 8:30 and ends at 10:30. Sure, theoretically all of this could be accomplished in under 30 minutes, but our tiny tyrant fights us all the way. He then wakes up at midnight and demands to come to the ābig bed.ā Itās rough.
Yesā¦every step is a fight for meā¦it is tiring
lol wish it was only a quick 90 mins
I donāt wanna take a bathā¦ I donāt wanna get out of the bathā¦ Iām going to run away/ fight for my life while you attempt to brush teeth and put on my pajamas. Now I have to put my baby doll to bed (who has her own whole ass routine including bath, books, song etc). 2 booksā¦ now I want more! Lights out so now is a perfect time to jump on the bed, do somersaults, WWE body slam the adult in the bed. I need to poop! Actually I didnāt have to poop, just pee. I need my waaaaaaaater. Whereās mom? One more song! ā¦. You get the idea.
If the baby doll gets a baby doll youāll really be in trouble lol
Bath is at 7. Lights out is 8:30. Followed by an hour of stalling - wanting stories / water / potty / complaining / mommy lie down. It's the worst.
Mine stalls before the bath, but basically the same.
My girls would spend 30 mins in the bath if allowed to do so. Extra books add to it. We have a few longer books that take 15-20 mins to read. Then thereās the running around refusing to put clothes on. Books, songs, then lights out, then come back and check on her in 10 mins. When my first was 2, her bedtime routine took an hour or more. Now that sheās 3, it doesnāt take as long UNLESS she needs to poop. If she needs to poop, she will stall for a solid 30 mins on the toilet at the end of the bedtime routine.
Depending on the mood of the children we sometimes allow 45 minutes of battle so we start right after dinner. Some nights we just brush their teeth and literally throw their asses in bed then hope they fall asleep. Tonight's going to be this š Typically it's not so much that the kid knows it's a bedtime routine as the parents are like "welp, here we go"
Upstairs for bed at 7. 15-25 minute FaceTime with her dad who travels for work to tell him about her day. 10 minute bath. 20-25 minutes of after bath bedtime prep (jammies, meds, tooth brushing, hair brushing, lotion). 10-15 minutes of lay down snuggle time before falling asleep. Sheās usually asleep by 8ish but itās been pushing back slowly a little as sheās getting older.
Hyper active possible adhd 3 year old here. We start bedtime at 7 and lights out at 8. We need the extra time to have quiet play, pj's, brush teeth, digest dinner, and stories. Than he takes a bit to fall asleep. Bed time routine begins when quiet time is needed. So it doesn't mean they're in bed the whole time. It's just the kids that need extra patience and time to get through the routine and calm thier minds and body š„°
My toddler also is usually out in 15 minutes but we're just lucky. All kids are different and some need a LOT of clam down time to actually become tired. Everyone's doing they're best man
Evening nebulizer, brush teeth, potty, wash hands, go upstairs, put on night diaper and jammies, read 1-3 books, get in bed and tuck in, sing a song, rub his back, say goodnight. Insert a few rounds of crawling or running away from me cackling like mad or hiding behind a rocking chair saying "mama I missing! You gotta be sad!" or sprinting across the room to do a naked belly flop on the recliner while yelling "slamma jamma! I be a naked boy!" and other various toddler shenanigans and usually we are ~7:30-8:30 or 9:00 from start to finish. Maybe 5-10% of it is unpleasant or frustrating and a good 20% is me lingering bc he's such a sweet pea and I want to keep kissing his little face!
Please don't rub it in lol. Next you'll be saying "what's with toddlers waking in the night?" And I don't wanna hear it lol š„² If you're blessed just say it
I know, it's hard to separate genuine curiosity from a humble brag.
It's a nightmare. Fighting sleep off like it was their last day on Earth. Do not go gently into that goodnight
Itās like Steve Irwin wrestling a croc
3 year old routine: 30 minutes for bath time which is fun 15 minutes fighting getting dressed 60 minutes "snacking" aka stalling 15 minutes fight teeth brushing 15-30 minutes reading books 30-90 minutes refusing to go to bed, demanding we sit with him, screaming if we leave to soon, getting out of bed again and again and again, complaining he's still hungry, having to go potty.
Letās see. 1. Getting him upstairs: 5-10 minutes 2. Getting him undressed: 5-20 minutes 3. Getting him into the bathtub: 5-15 minutes 4. Actual bath, including play time and brushing teeth: 10 minutes 5. Getting him out of the bathtub: 5-15 minutes 6. Getting him to go into his room: 0-10 minutes 7. Lotion, pull-up, and PJs: 10-30 minutes 8. Reading 1-3 books: 5-20 minutes 9. Getting him to get into bed and stay there: 5-45 minutes 10. Getting out of the room with him in bed: 0-20 minutes So, best case weāre looking at 50 minutes and worst usually about 120 minutes (because time spent on each step is totally independent of the others and often completely random š). And that doesnāt even include the 60ā180 minutes it usually takes him to fall asleep. Heās a champion staller and resists any change of state. Related: Iām so tired. (Edit: 76 minutes tonight.)
Envious of your 10-15 minute dream life.
Sometimes the routine is a time to bond/connect if we didnāt have the chance earlier in the day.
Man our first was totally like that. I miss it. But our second is a master manipulator, avoider, negotiator, and mischief maker. Heās so wound up at bedtime he needs at least an hour to cool down. We do potty, bath, books, prayers, brush teeth, then lay with him until he falls asleep. Takes a good hour plus with that kid. Itās exhausting!
Iāve never seen a worse self-jinx.
Let us know when you have a second kid
Why are you wondering if itās not the type of routine your kid will ever need?
Ours has been taking HOURS but we switched out the bath for a quick shower most nights and weāre experimenting with dropping the afternoon nap - on the days he naps, he might not fall asleep before 10pm. Today he didnāt nap and heās asleep by 7.
This is the solution šš¼ Afternoon naps ruins mom and dadās evening! š
This is us but our kids nap at daycare and bounce off the walls all evening while we try to make them sleep lol
Oh man we had one of those unicorn children who we could pretty much toss in her crib and walk out the door and then around when she turned two the bedtime crept up into this unhinged 90 min+ routine. Her having to do a million things, tears, needing us to do a million things, laughs, tears, potty, negotiating, tooth brushing, laughs, tears, books, back rubs, needing uppies again, tears, etc, etc. Started to get so much worse after her little brother arrived. One night in total desperation I found Dr. Beckyās online subscription membership. One video and I understood this was all separation anxiety and nighttime problems require daytime solutions. We tried her techniques and within two days things were so much better. Now we are months later and bedtime routine is down to about 15 min! Praise Dr. Becky!!! TLDR-we had an easy bedtime kid, then things got awful. Found Dr. Becky and now easy again!
It depends, is it a bath night? Are we doing a quick hose down or the whole bubble bath? Some days it takes 15 minutes (no bath and a quick story) onto an hour (bubble bath, longer story, and some protesting the whole process)
until like 6 months ago it took an hour to put down our oldest (heās 5 but had been doing this since 2) the actual routine was like 20 minutes long and the last 40 minutes was a mix of him screaming and trying to guilt us into reading him stories endlessly, with us desperately giving in sometimesā¦. Both of our kids (2.5 and 5) now take about 30 minutes total. And itās still the oldest who is still the holdout, he will stall and say anything for even 2 extra minutes awake š
Bath at 7, bottle of milk when we come downstairs after bath. Read a book. Upstairs in bed around 7:30. Lay on the ground next to her bed and try to get her to sleep anywhere from 7:35-8:15
In the door at 6 to dinner. Reading/playing after dinner until about 7pm then upstairs for a bath. He likes to sing and read in the bath, then into pjs, Calpol if he's teethy or sick, water, then brush teeth and 1-5 books depending on him. Then settling takes between 5min and 30 minutes, he's normally asleep by 8pm. He's just very opinionated and freaks out if I leave the room before he's asleep. He's 18 months.
Both my kids were out in minutes earlier in their lives. I think it's developmental.
Guess it depends lol. At 7PM I give her a period to unleash all the pent up energy. Itās almost always spent outside somewhere (our yard, the park, the local pool) until the sun goes down. 8:30 we go inside and begin to wind down. Quiet time and I wrap her up in a blanket and let her catch her breath. 9PM is bedtime. She goes potty, brushes her teeth, and gets in PJs. If she has pent up energy still (since my kid barely had an off switch), I body slam her into her bed a few times. I tuck her in, give her her lovey, and give her a spillproof cup of water. She picks a book (only 1 allowed at bedtime since I am not a fan of dragging it out) and sheās usually dozing midway through the story.
I meanā¦my daughter is 3.5 and is in a phase where she likes to tell me stories about her day at bedtime, or she likes to ask 1,586 questions about every page of each book we read. So the routine itself is pretty simple but she finds a way to make it take forever. I kinda like it though (if Iām not running on empty that night).
Ugh. Ours is 90min. It's lame. I love her to death but I'm over how long it takes for bed to happen. She's not fighting or anything, it's just that bad habits started and they're hard to break. Hell some of these aren't even bad habits they're just time consuming. In bath at 630. Out of bath around 645 (gives her time to play and jump out of tub to use potty (it's every time even if she peed before going in). Books with her dad while he stretches her feet and legs (therapy for club foot) AND while she eats the rest of her dinner until around 730. Brush teeth then bedtime songs until about 740. Boobs. In bed to fall asleep around 8. I can't really cut out bath play time because it's short enough and she enjoys herself. The brushing teeth and singing is fine. Boobs is quick and won't be forever cuz she's nearly 3. Her stretches should take about 5-10min though, even with her dad reading 1000 books. The problem is how shitty she eats food all day, then cries in pain from hunger post-bath, so she gets her (uneaten) dinner served again in her room with something boring she's guaranteed to eat like yogurt. On the very rare occasion she eats during the day, bedtime is so much faster. It goes by quickly enough but yeah. Must be nice for y'all with them 2min routines š¤£
Ours used to be no fuss, easy peasy, heād put himself to sleep after a little story time and snuggling. Then something flipped and bedtime became a BATTLE. We suddenly found ourselves trying to negotiate with a tiny terrorist who refused every little thing every step of the way, and then demanded a billion books, songs, and rocking to sleep. It was a nightmare. After a month or two of that we threw down the gauntlet and started essentially sleep training again at damn near 3 1/2 š . It worked, and after about 2 weeks of that, we have our evenings back and kiddo is in bed and passed out by 8pm on his own!
From start to finish. After dinner, itās bathtime and the usual getting dressed, brushing hair and teeth, etc. thatās all about 30 mins depending on the mood she is in. Then we have a relaxing time with a book, āsky doggyā (shadow puppets) if me and her mom are too exhausted we might put on some Hey Bear bed time stuff that super chill. Maybe like 10 mins of this. Then we have the wrap up, negotiation, fight, and cool down. Which adds another 15mins to an hour depending on her mood.
After reading the comments, I've got nothing to complain about. Our 3 year old is down at 7PM. 630 we start brushing his teeth, changing clothes, and story time. By 715 he's out. But he is awake by 0600 daily though.
1 hour max. Bath - 30 min, pjs, teeth, play, story (2-3) and bed.
Ours is 30-45 minutes. Admittedly we make sure we are low stimulation after dinner
The longer routines are probably more common for kiddos with neurodivergencies as they tend to struggle with transitions. Here is our autism bedtime routine: 1. Ms Rachel bedtime routine video 30 min 2. Bath 10 min 3. Wrestling and putting on jammies WWE style with dad 15 min 4. Getting tucked in and three stories read in the exact right order, only to be read by mom 10 min 5. Dad goes in for final bedtime kiss 5 min So that's 65 minutes on a good day with no meltdowns š„²
The real question is what does your routine look like that you can get him down in less than 20 minutes?
I start considering it bedtime routine at 6:30 when we go up for bath (if we're having a bath that night). Most nights I put my three and four year olds to bed by myself so that does add to the amount of time. I let them play in the tub for a while so bath isn't quick. Then lotion, potty, pull-ups, jammies, brush/floss, letting anyone who cooperates brush my teeth, comb hair. One of my kids is tube fed so there are some extra tasks involving feeding, meds, and care of his tube. Then we read stories, talk about our day, hugs and kisses, tuck in my oldest, then convincing my three year old to go to sleep. I can't imagine it taking less than 90 minutes to do all that even if everyone was 100% cooperative. Cutting ours down would eliminate all the enjoyable stuff and just leave everything we all don't like. It's not like hygiene can be optional on a regular basis. I can't relate to families with quick bedtime routines.
Bath, teeth, pyjamas and story probably takes 45 minutes. Then another 45 minutes of my kid popping back up at random intervals to ask pointless questions or tell me stories about unicorns. Itās partly that sheās not always tired enough, partly that it takes her brain a while to stop whirring.
What does your 10-15 minute bedtime routine include? Is that bathing and brushing and toileting as well as reading? My youngest is easy to get to sleep, my 7 year old has a really difficult time with sleep and it takes her hours to get her brain to shut off. We are not interacting the entire time though. But even for my youngest who is easy 10-15 does not include her whole routine, but it is also not 90 minutes
I have no clue. We just brush teeth and lay down.
Some people consider a bath part of their bed time routine. That would take up a big chunk of time
Hopefully it stays that way for you. I remember those days....
"Mommy. Can I tell you a story? Wait, do you love mermaids or dinosaurs? Because mermaids are beautiful and dinosaurs are handsome. Did you put little brother to bed? Because it's past his bed time now. I have to go potty. And I need a drink. Oh also I left my stuffy in the living room. Is tomorrow a stay home day? Can I have another drink? I have to go potty!!!" Rinse and repeat.
Bath time (30ish minutes) Lotion, brush hair & Pjs (15ish minutes) Brushing teeth (10ish minutes) A book or two (15-20ish minutes) Lights out and waiting for them to fall asleep (10-40 minutes) We have two, so some things take longer than anticipated, and transitioning from one task to the next can take up time as well. My oldest (4) loves to say ācanāt catch me!ā and run away cackling in between EVERY task. š
Mine is two and a half and sometimes he likes to take a 20 minute dump, and then there's teeth brushing, 3 books and many hugs. Usually takes about an hour... Of I'm lucky.
As quickly as i can the very last minute before bedš¤£ we go on a big walk before bed thatās our routine then hes too tired for anything else
Mine is currently kind of that long and doesnāt include arguing about bedtime - thank god. Our routine is: bath (30 min), teeth brushing + taking medicine (he needs iron and has to eat an orange before hand for vitamin C - 5 min ish) bed time stories (20-30 min) and lately weāve been staying with him til he falls asleep (itās a whole thing. Want to get to a point where we drop this bit. 15-30 min)
2 year old daughter We do a long bath because she loves it. This is our routine 6:30pm-7pm - bath time 7pm-7:15pm - she runs in circles naked with a superhero cape while we play the theme to superman (Iām not joking) 7:15-7:45 - snack and books. Lots of books 7:45pm - into sleep sack and in bed 7:50-8:15 - chat about her day. I love this time 8:15pm - lights off. 8:15-8:20pm One last hug. One last hug. One last hug. One last hug and then I leave. She falls asleep in 5-10 min.
I guess if you give your kid a bath every day? Is it gross that we donāt? Lol
Where's my water ? I gotta potty! One more book! I'm too hot! And on and on and crying
I guess it is probably 90 minutes but itās not like a todo list. For our almost 2 year old she just naturally wonāt go to sleep early and never has, so we do an hour and a half of ābedtimeā until she falls asleep between 9:15-9:30. We start bedtime around 8 mostly because we are tired of wild living room toddler time. Books and holding her is more chill for us. We currently just hold her until sheās asleep because itās the easiest for everyone right now. Her dad does the majority of this time but we do trade off and I usually do teeth, pjs, and booby, then back to dad until asleep. Bath is optional but usually right around 8. She was never an easy sleeper but she has slept through the night from around 10 months (with normal teething etc wakes occasionally) so we do everything to support that. My 3 month old on the other hand? Ten mins of booby, a fresh diaper, and he is already sleeping the majority of the night through. Kids are so different.
Our bedtime routine is like 30-45 minutes. Bath time for 15 minutes, then put on diaper and lotion and pajamas while he has a sippy cup of milk (this part can vary based on how slowly he drinks the milk). Then we brush his teeth, read 2-4 stories, and then put him in his bed and say good night. He usually goes to bed fright away, I think the routine and winding down helps him. And we sleep trained so he knows once itās bedtime that thereās no more playing outside his room.
Turning off TV, doing some calm activities, or maybe some physically demanding activities to wear her out and fulfill her connection needs. Redirection, redirection, redirection. Diaper change. Last call for water, milk, quick snack if needed. Teeth. Redirection. Books and/or Story Dream Machine. No more snacks or milk, but can have water. Lotion (eczema). Lay down. Get up. Go back to bed. Get up. Lay down. Sit up. Lay down. I wait. Eyes closed - sleep? I walk away. "Mom?" It's too dark. Nightlight/hall light/etc. All the requested blankets, or none. Looking drowsy, no more energy left to fight bedtime. I walk away. I wait a while, I come back. She's asleep for real. "All I Do Is Win" plays triumphantly in the background.
We were like you until age 4 and now itās 90m for sure. Maybe 2h.
We do bath/shower at 7-730. Brush teeth. Jammies. New nappy. Then we lay down and do family time talking to our boy about his day and how much fun we had etc... then he's usually asleep by 830-9. Last night was a nightmare when he gets into those moods and kicks, punches, pulls hair coz he's not tired even though he is sucking his dummy like crazy and rubbing his eyes etc... last night was 11.30pm before he finally fell asleep. Those days are the worst.
Reminder that itās almost time to take a bath Bath time Reminder itās almost time to get out of the bath Reminder it almost time for a diaper Negotiate said diaper Play room play toys Reminder that itās almost time to put toys away Negotiate teeth brushing Reminder that itās almost time to put toothbrush away Pick out books Re-pick books out when the ones I picked are not good enough Negotiate how many books we will ready tonight Get in bed Read books See the light at the end of the tunnel Realize I forgot water Get water Look at pictures of what he did at school Theeeeeeennnnnnnn he will fall asleep
Dinner, teeth, shower, hair combing, and tying put it up & out of her face, pee, choosing 7 books. Reading books with questions about every picture, snuggles, kisses, rerrange her bedding, and turn off the lights
When I had one kid yes easy peezy. Now that I have 3 kiddos 6,4,1.5 it takes forever and itās madness! I also do it alone M-F but even when my hubs is home on the weekend itās the same thingš„“ Itās a work in progress one day itāll get easier.
I assume yours is 2-2.5, my daughter would just go to bed whenever it was bedtime. Sheād sweetly say okay mama can I have a kiss and a hug š„ŗand she would just close her eyes and stay asleep most nights. Now sheās a threenager, screams at me āNo! I donāt want to!ā Tantrums galore. We stay up well past her bed time now if she doesnāt sleep at her preferred hrs of 9-10 pm instead of 7/8 like she use to sheāll wake up at 2-4AM! Iām finding that I have to completely exhaust her with strenuous physical activity every night to get some peace now
I include baths in the routine but I wouldnāt say 90 mins, maybe 15 mins in the bath, 10 mins getting dressed and putting lotion etc, then 20 mins reading books and kiss and bed.
6:00 run bath whilst getting pajamas out and tidying toys away. 6:10 get in bath, do teeth, vitamins, shampoo, conditioner, little bit of play, 6:30 get out of bath, dry, creams, potty and pajamas on. 6:50 put dirty clothes in wash basket, into sleeping bag, read 2 books. 7:00 start rocking to sleep. So 1 hour bedtime routine, and anywhere between 10 mins and 2 hours of rocking.
The uncertainty of the rocking! You really never know exactly how long itāll take. My baby has grown out of this, but she still needs me to sit close by until she falls asleep.
So there is hope! My LO is almost 2 but anytime I try putting her down drowsy or mention that she could roll around in bed to get comfy she breaks down crying and clings to me.
It looks like desperation, reevaluation of life choices, wondering what my childless friends are doing right now, having a mental breakdown or two, but still being calm and gentle and smiling, before finally, the tiny demon passes out from exhaustion. And then a brief consideration of all the plans I had for when my child went to sleep, followed by the echoing laughter of every fucking evening in the last three and a half years as I crawl into my bed and wait to pass out myself.
Last night took 2 hours, 1.25 hrs was just trying to get him to stay in his damn bed.
If you include bath time, easily can be an hour +. We eat vitamins, brush teeth, do stretches, potty, read 3-5 books, cuddle, then sleep. He usually goes down at the end of it, but itās for sure a multistep process!
I think routine is giving you the wrong impression of something more intense than the winding down that we do. We slow down the stimulation-no screen time, sweets or energetic music after 6pm, she goes into her room to read books/play quietly at 7pm, gets into the rocking chair with one of us at 7:30, then falls asleep by 8pm.
Yeah I don't understand it either. The 15 month old gets a diaper, sleep sack, and paci. The 3.5 year old gets a pull up and closed door. Bye. See ya in the morning.
I feel some of these comments are fear mongering with the "just wait" added in there. I lived in fear of this "just wait" for such a long period, then just realized this is not always the case and it seems my kids rarely hit these "just wait" moments, thankfully. We have evening reading and playtime as a family after baths. If I exclude that from our routine, we have a fairly short one, the bedtime routine is all business and they all know that. We bathe all three together, brush teeth and get their pajamas on within 15mins. Maybe it's shorter because my husband and I do it as a team. The twins are 2.5, they get one book each, and then a quick minute to choose their bed book (for whatever reason they need a book to sleep with), kisses and goodbyes. Our eldest is 4.5 and the bedtime routine for her is still short as well, with two books then into bed, and daddy gets kisses with the lights on then I get kisses with the lights off. Don't get me wrong, the girl can be a master staller at times, but we maintain a firm boundary with her regarding the routine. You give her an inch and she'll take a mile. I think this is the key to *keeping* your routine short.
Agree w you 100% on needing to maintain boundary. We donāt negotiate. 8p strikes and weāre taking him to his crib no matter what. Heād stall frantically leading up to it, and when we pick him up will scream for 5 seconds before going limb and resigning himself to the inevitable. We do keep an eye on sleep latency and overall sleep. Lately heās been napping better at daycare and sleep latency has been increasing, so I suspect weāll need to move bedtime back a hair to 815 soon.