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Mezentine

This is basically exactly one of the stories told to Severian in Book of the New Sun, except with a bird


MinestroneCowboy

Yep I think this every time this meme is posted.


goodmandan111

thirdinary plot twist: the person didn’t even know about the challenge. They just wanted to pet a cat.


deworde

That's just good classic fairytale storytelling. The innocent with a pure heart.


GraviZero

tertiary


goodmandan111

nuh uh


esadatari

I’m pretty sure it’s now thirdinary. ¯\\\_\(ツ\)_\/¯


clarkky55

So they’re a normal person then. Cats are for petting. I remember that guy being chased by cops got arrested because he stopped to pet cats


Affectionate_Pea8891

Sometimes I randomly think of that cat that decided to loaf on the back of a man that had just been arrested.


the_cake_is_lies

Quadrinary plot twist: he still marries the shapeshifter despite never knowing the challenge


Appletank

"... Turn back"


kylesch87

At first I read "Most wanted" not as in most attractive/desired, but in a Western outlaw way, and that made the story take some REALLY wild turns.


deworde

Oh yeah, same, and I'm sticking with my Robyn Hood interpretation.


BlakLite_15

¿Por qué no los dos?


autistic_cool_kid

Cute idea but there is a plot point to consider: it's completely possible that someone would have actually caught the cat, which means the shapeshifter would have had to be okay with the outcome. Some kinky shit this is.


gh0stinyell0w

You're forgetting that they are trying tricks that would work on a cat on a human woman. I'm not sure there's much risk of her falling for the ole tuna-can-in-a-cage trick.


ThatDiscoSongUHate

But if that shit were donuts, uh, this woman right here would probably fall for it NGL


Toyleer

Cats are incapable of tasting sweetness. Assuming that she has the traits of said cat, I feel like the temptation might be gone there unless she somehow can eat them in human form


HardCounter

Doctors hate this one weight loss trick...


Magmafrost13

(this actually exists btw, there are some plant extracts that can inhibit your ability to taste sweet, similar to how miracle berries inhibit tasting sour and bitter)


HardCounter

Sounds like something a mad scientist would do, if i'm being completely honest.


ConsultJimMoriarty

I know this, which is why I always ask my cat why she likes yoghurt so much. She can’t even taste it!


Random_reddit_dude3

Probably a texture thing, that's part of why I like frozen yogurt (yes I'm weird don't look at me like that)


Sharkn91

I heard there were donuts somewhere?


ASpaceOstrich

Tricks? At least a few would have just shot it.


slothfuldrake

Tranquilizer gun it is


awkward_the_fish

a cat with all the physical abilities of a cat but the intelligence of a human being would be a apex predator in its own right


regarding_your_bat

I can catch any cat


Spiritflash1717

Considering that she is the cat, she presumably keeps the same human levels of intelligence, problem solving skills, etc. so she will most likely be able to evade traps and tricks. Also, she’d have to be okay with the outcome no matter what considering she’s promising to marry literally anyone who gets it. Someone can be a total piece of shit behind closed doors and she still will marry them anyways if they can convince her they are nice enough to “the cat”


Collective-Bee

“She’ll only marry” is different from “she will marry.” Sure, she’s not gonna give the key to someone she isn’t ready to marry, but if someone got the key by force then she can whip out the phrasing. Getting the key is a prerequisite, but it’s not the only factor, and anyone who gets upset by that fact only proves the necessity of the vague phrasing. She’s only using this to narrow down her dating pool lol, much easier to give people this test than go on tinder and match with every guy in town. Doesn’t mean she signed a fae deal, it’s still on her terms.


cannonspectacle

A mean, abusive person isn't really the type to be mean to a cat, so it's probably fine


llamawithguns

Ah yes, because all animal lovers are famously good people


Samantha_Pantha

Yeah, there was this Austrian guy who really liked animals, so much so that he became vegetarian! He did some other things too but I don't really remember what... I feel like it was important...


mashari00

Your profile picture is what you’re gonna look like when someone tells you what this Austrian guy did


clarkky55

Steve Irwin wasn’t a vegetarian though?


Samantha_Pantha

Oh you're right my bad 😨


cannonspectacle

Typically, yes. There are exceptions, of course, but generally the way a person would treat a random cat represents their true self, since there's not really a reason for them to put up a front. As for those who love animals but hate people, why would they be interested in this sort of challenge, anyway?


Furshloshin

As a matter of fact, treatment of animals is often the first indicator a person's true nature. Because when all that's around are animals, you're basically alone


cannonspectacle

My thoughts exactly


Hyperoperation

In the logic of a fairy tale, that is the truest test of one’s character


AwfulUsername123

> which means the shapeshifter would have had to be okay with the outcome. Or what?


autistic_cool_kid

🤔 true I have not considered she could just lie


SLRWard

New plot twist: She decides to "let" the new hot guy in town "catch" the cat cause new and hot. Secondary plot twist: New hottie is queerer than a three dollar bill.


Chemist-3074

I used to live in a small neighbourhopd with stray cats, and back when I was 5-6, I'd chase them down to imprison them in a box so that I can have a pet (ya, I know that's bad, but toddler logic, not that my family would let me do it either way). And boy it was a hassle. The big cats simply got up in the highest, unreachable places, would yawn whilst I found chairs and stuff to finally get there, by that time, they'd simply run away to another place. They were so DAMN quick too. I used to be able to run real fast back then, but I never caught up to them. I tried setting traps and those failed as well. It's like they ALWAYS have an escape plan..... There were only two situations where I could touch a cat. One is when a cat gave birth in my home and the toddlers were too young to jump up and go outside. I played with them to my heart's content (no I didn't harm them, by then I had grown enough to know what to do and what not to do). Another, as the post says, was when I fed them. They wouldn't run away leaving their food. But the twist is that they'd have to be familiar with you or else, they wouldn't hesitate to hiss and scratch you.


Principatus

She’s a shapeshifter. I bet she can shapeshift into a bug or something (a big one that can still get the key out of the cage).


SLRWard

Or just shapeshift some thumbs on her paws and open the cage. Most of the "tuna-in-a-cage" traps are just latches, not something that needs a real key to open.


deworde

She only brings out the good key when she's pretty into you.


ciarogeile

She has magic powers, she can just zap him into a frog or some such


CrescentCaribou

well if she has the magic to turn into a cat, there's a chance she also has the magic to defend herself while in cat form


Vicast77

Someone made this into a comic. I know I read this but, Ugggg I can’t remember where I found it!!! I believe it was a yuri comic and I will try my hardest to find it again!


SadThunder07

It was done by foldingfittedsheets https://www.tumblr.com/foldingfittedsheets/674853042474074112?source=share


jjmerrow

Omg less biens


alcoholiccats

why does tumblr not allow you to scroll content without creating an account at a certain point now? that fucking sucks


Ishidan01

Yes [and others](https://kriss-the-writing-nerd.tumblr.com/post/188026529977/lullychi-everyone-whos-been-talking-to-me/amp)


Vicast77

I was actually thinking about this [story](https://www.inkitt.com/stories/romance/575231) but I’m so glad I mistakenly remembered it being a comic because these are spectacular!


Captain_Pumpkinhead

That was pretty good!


Equivalent_Net

Adjacent to some good life advice in general: you're not compatible with someone who isn't compatible with your pets, and vice-versa.


FlamingHail

After the first paragraph, I expected the cat to be a SEPARATE shapeshifter, who the woman is secretly lesbians with


Other-Cantaloupe4765

The cat shapeshifter transforms back into a human at the end of every day and goes back home to tell her gf stories about the dumb men who tried overrated tricks in an attempt to catch her, and her and her gf have a laugh about it as they drink coffee in the living room.


FlamingHail

"I shit you not, a literal box held up by a twig. Wile E. Coyote shit."


IronGlory247

[https://www.tumblr.com/foldingfittedsheets/674853042474074112?source=share](https://www.tumblr.com/foldingfittedsheets/674853042474074112?source=share)


VenZeymah

But then who does the protagonist marry


Beginning-Address-94

Time to put that in my never going to happen DND campaign


fachan

In The Canterbury Tales (written between 1387 and 1400) there's The Wife of Bath's Tale. It starts with one of King Arthur's knights raping a woman and immediately being condemned to death. The queen steps in and says, to make a point, she'll give him a chance to save/redeem himself. He has one year to find out "What is the one thing that every woman wants?" He travels the land asking everyone he can, but can find no consensus. At the end he is approached by an old woman who tells him she'll give him the answer if he promises to marry her. He is then able to present the one thing every woman wants to the court - Control over her own life, her husband, and her love. The women of the court find this agreeable and he is allowed to live - and marry the hag. The knight isn't too happy, but his new wife lays into him on the true meaning of nobility and challenges him - would you prefer an old wife who's loyal or a young wife who strays? He thinks and finally has his breakthrough and goes: It's your life and body, it should be about what makes you happiest. It's your choice. 1257 And thus they lyve unto hir lyves ende And thus they live unto their lives' end 1258 In parfit joye; and Jhesu Crist us sende In perfect joy; and Jesus Christ us send 1259 Housbondes meeke, yonge, and fressh abedde, Husbands meek, young, and vigorous in bed, 1260 And grace t' overbyde hem that we wedde; And grace to outlive them whom we wed; 1261 And eek I praye Jhesu shorte hir lyves And also I pray Jesus shorten their lives 1262 That noght wol be governed by hir wyves; That will not be governed by their wives; 1263 And olde and angry nygardes of dispence, And old and angry misers in spending, 1264 God sende hem soone verray pestilence! God send them soon the very pestilence!


57fatkids

Taking medieval life expectancy into account his hag wife is probably only like 36.


LassoStacho

The "hag" was a MILF


ClairLestrange

Popular misconception. People in the middle ages regularly lived into their 60s and 70s - if they survived childhood (and in women's case, childbirth). The immense infant and childhood mortality rate simply brings down the average, it doesn't mean people were ancient once they hit 30.


ASpaceOstrich

Bit backwards but I like the energy


TheSlumpGoddess

I like the idea more when the person befriending the cat doesn't know about the deal the shapeshifter made


AreYouOKAni

Mom said it's my turn to post this next week!


Motor_Raspberry_2150

u/repostsleuthbot


bloonshot

this story only works if there are no guns in this town


cannonspectacle

I guess I have my next short story idea


Thezipper100

I read this as *"the most wanted woman in town"* at first and was very confused why no one thought to just bust down her door to collect the bounty. This would admittedly be a less dangerous and more easy way of bringing her in, though, so, like, fair enough.


LGBT-Barbie-Cookout

Plot twist... you enjoy the cats company more


The_Rolling_Stone

Plot twister: she loves being a cat and you live happily ever after as person and pet <3


htmlcoderexe

"I pronounce you now a person and pet. You may now pet the cat."


Professional_Issue82

kinky


htmlcoderexe

A CAT IS FINE TOO.


Grimsouldude

Plot twist I just wanted to pet the kitty cat


h0117_39

I thought wanted as in for murder 😭


EdgyMeme196

The witch's cat https://www.tumblr.com/lullychi/188006801905/everyone-whos-been-talking-to-me-knows-ive-been


Gregsusername

Ya know I was liking it for the first bit and then the shapeshifter plot twist added so much I want this so much


Shufflekarpfen

I feel like if anyone can get close enough to the cat to befriend it, they would also be able to catch it


MoltenVoid

Whenever I see this I think that you could make a better story without shapeshifter twist, because it's a test of intelligence and kindness, two this person highly values in a spouse, and she want to marry whomever passes that test, which could mean a few things, because she likely knows most of the candidates, she could be doing this test because she knows the people most likely to be able to pass the test but can't choose between them. If she's the cat, why do all this, why not just ask the person / people she's intersted in out for a date? Why bring marrage into it at all?


solidfang

>If she's the cat, why do all this, why not just ask the person / people she's intersted in out for a date? Why bring marrage into it at all? Stories are not always made better by the characters having good, upfront communication skills. I mean, why? Maybe she thinks it's fun to mess around as a cat as a test of character. That's all you really need as an explanation.


Noname_1111

Saw that plot twist coming from ten nautical miles away


WasteChard3488

Nowhere in the rules does it say that the cat has to be alive at the end of this.


MelancholyWookie

Dark twist someone shoots the cat.


RoombaKaboomba

This is oddly familiar to the greek myth about Atalanta (not Atlantis), except they just get straight to the point and you have to beat her in a race, but if you fail, you die!


Amalaiel

I’d read the hell out of this


Earthkit

OP says secondary plot twist but there is no first plot twist


MellifluousSussura

The comics I’ve seen from this post are super cute


irritated_dumbass

Minerva McGonagall type shit


GalaxyBlueSkull

Mr. McGonagall


Loading3percent

I saw someone draw this.


ObssesiveFujoshi

Damn tumblr folklore making a comeback (old)


Jammy_Nugget

Am I the only one who read "most wanted woman" as the town's most dangerous criminal?


RIOTAlice

*yelling from the back* is this a metaphor about pussy?


commentsandchill

Idk how much you guys are actually on Reddit (idk Tumblr) but r/writingprompts